DUKE NUKEM FOREVER - EMINENCE FRONT

[Music] I love a good joke I mean for [ __ ] sake I own the Duke Nukem franchise [Music] now we're talking about Duke Nukem Forever which gearbox decided to take on and my first question would have to be are you insane when we got the news that you know 3d realms we've done the bad news in May of 2009 that they shut their doors that laid off the team and then Duke is dead I was a bad day man at what point did you start to worry that the finish line was was not located in my in my for me around 2003 what was taking so long and I remember having conversations with George you know about I just don't think we are we are a big enough company to pull this off there's of course than the hookers and the cocaine there we go there's got a lot of mistakes and level while essence we had to learn about most of all is you've got a lot of World of Warcraft we want our new a new game of come out that blows the doors off of what we're doing Mike a fight for half-life 2 and therefore we okay let's go back to the drawing board in and add more features to the engine and we're just always playing catch up because our team's too small to ever really kind of get ahead and yeah I mean what there's something blocking progress I have to figure out how to get around this I was actually expecting be quite honest gearbox to put more effort into the base key you really help the small team called triptych yes some x3 Rome guys yeah who were lead of them are so right they were basically taking this all upon themselves there's a group of guys including Allen they kept the dream alive and we realized that we were in a position to support them and support that effort expecting gearbox to add like 10 or 20 people in the short term there really kind of beef up the developer our muscle and you know and fix up a lot of the issues that were still in the game we found an opportunity where we were in a position where we could help how are you coping with the budget all I can say is balls of steel if you don't love you anymore oh hey I can't sir Mouse I thought I should check up on you are you doing okay I heard you had a hundred thousand subscribers good for you what's that oh that well cancer Mouse that's a Katy bleep some of that people get super butthurt if I start making fun of that sounds delightful I know right it's there it's all yours oh I think I'll that's a mouse trap this doesn't matter City none of this matters the world is dead that could be a problem you guys probably have your hands full you know the administrator your illustrator is dead cool cool and I'm at 100k subs now boy they're probably all shadow monsters but that's clout it also means [Music] so it's come to this y'all know two people could forever it's that game that was in development for 14 years that's right not 12 they started in 1997 it was gonna be like a platformer like the old games but that wasn't good enough no no that wasn't gonna sell I don't have the figures on how Manhattan Project sold but that game if you called that Duke Nukem Forever and renamed mech morphix to dr. proton which why was he not dr. proton in that it doesn't matter it doesn't matter I never really wanted to do this and I put up a channel trailer a long time ago saying yeah I'll do T and after a hundred thousand subs and I still get up every day and pray for death when I get a hundred thousand subscribers I'm gonna play Duke Nukem Forever so for the love of God do not subscribe to this channel because I didn't actually expect that to happen it's a bad game sure but it's not like bad day LA bad it's not tak wor bad it's not postal three everyone and their mother already did it the NF video now I get to do it instead of like something weird that nobody's ever heard of but y'all just need to see semi play the two coop forever it's got to here civvy opine about how Randy Pitchford is greasy maybe after this we can move on to Google forever is boring the story's been told the game itself is just there it's fine if you all want to come see me beat a dead horse but there's good games I could be playing I got some for October this year huh how did this even happen this is some dumb channel hosted by an [ __ ] with a deliberately nonsensical plot that exists only to confuse people watching it you're thinking what did I miss something why are the shadow monsters no you didn't miss anything let's see if we can condense this story a little bit you saw the intro it's basically that they started working on Duke Nukem Forever in 1997 after licensing the quake 2 engine not a bad idea except quake 2 would be antiquated in a year they didn't even have the quake 2 engine yet because it wasn't you know done quick to mention just wasn't powerful enough so 14 months after that they switched over to the good old Unreal Engine let me spoil the pattern here George Brassard one of the head honchos over at 3d realms wanted to make the game huge and explosive and kept one and add new features to keep up with the rest of the gaming industry you know because somebody already made it to nukem game on the quake 2 inch and it was called sin and then half-life happened so we can blame gaben a little bit too here's a fun fact though the game still runs on a heavily heavily modified version of that Unreal Engine you all thought it was unreal 3 densha yeah so did I but it's not in 2001 this trailer head you know this one the one that looked awesome and pow what are you gonna do save the world all by yourself [Music] [Music] remember that footage from the quake 2 version that's all [ __ ] that might as well be pre-rendered because it was all made for the trailer the 2001 unreal version wasn't both of these builds reportedly exist with the 2001 version being 90% finished 3d realms has it and it was sent along to gearbox and take to the current owners of the Duke Nukem rights oh hi Randy I think the way to do it is to have a new package with things like forever and all the old Megaton stuff and maybe the 20th anniversary basically everything we can get together and then have the old DNF stuff as sort of this free giveaway this free bonus that you can have access to that's right now the easiest legal path yeah of course because that would be great Randy just a [ __ ] plus seven seven and a half out of ten please make me buy not just one game that I already own but like five games I already own to get access to a game that you don't consider finished let me see here is it more finish than say aliens colonial marines recently weird a commercial license to redistribute DNF why the bad news is that if we want to release the old [ __ ] it will have to be bowed to the commercial release or we will have to work on a different license with 2k why anyone would believe that I would want anything for the best possible future for Duke is beyond me I have the most at stake meanwhile there's some serious stuff and play with Duke that should make the fans happy but all this petty [ __ ] is not helpful that was 16 months ago let's see what happened with Duke since then oh nothing nothing the relationship between 3d realms and gearbox is a little strained at the moment with gearbox tone and their most important property and that time they tried to make a tube game that became bombshell or as Randy put it he got burned oh yeah the people who made the character wanted to make a Duke game again while you were busy putting him into an overpriced Bulletstorm remastered look I'm calling that 90% done estimation into question 2 since at the time 3d realms had released rot 2013 bombshell and rad Rodgers which were already talked about rot 2013 I really haven't played much a bombshell and rad Rogers is actually a decent game now show them how it's done kids face your ass what's the difference okay sometimes I feel like these games are starting to run together but sorry we can't let the 2001 build a DNF leak it's not like they've ever released an unfinished version of a duke nukem game before but no take two needs to make money off if it despite the fact that they didn't put a goddamn cent into the 2001 version of the game that was still 3d roses cash they were burning so [ __ ] take two and [ __ ] Randall s the Esper's huh does it matter the DNF came out wrong that it had been cobbled together for release with a clearly understaffed team crunch you to get the thing out no I'm gonna tear this game apart but I'm not going to enjoy it people did put their all into getting this thing done yes it was woefully mismanaged from the start it was a small team trying to make the biggest most epic game they could DNF was never a grift in 2009 3d realms finally closed in 2010 a small team now called triptych was finishing the single-player with another company called piranha games working on the console ports and multiplayer you want to give Randy credit for saving Duke that's fine but sometimes dead is better we have to start at the beginning what are you doing city this is the middle of the game you're right it is but see this was everyone's first exposure to Duke Nukem Forever back in 2011 there was a little thing that happened where you get hourly access to the Duke Nukem Forever demo if you bought gearboxes smash hit game Borderlands $35 at the time and you'd get that game and early access to the DNF demo because there has to be some way to cash in right the mine this is a tiny sliver of this game not really very impressive you get the shotgun here the shotgun is good in this game the railgun which penetrates cover yeah took Nukem Forever as a cover shooter now there used to be a to weapon limit - you remember the to weapon limit they patched it out it was there at launch and I played it with the - weapon limit we'll get to it don't worry but you got to remember how this game looked at first this one kind underwhelming level where you fight some pig cops and a big ship that you have to rock it to death and a pig cop that keeps responding on a turret and this [ __ ] railgun a railgun is cool in theory but sometimes the thing just doesn't work which is an odd design choice go through the mine kill some small annoying enemies and push this minecart around and ride it and plow through some Pig cops yeah that's fine whatever we've been waiting so long the finished game has to be cooler they're holding back the most awesome stuff what if I told you the demo had the very first section of the game - those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride [Music] this always always always bothered me because that's not Duke slime that's Roddy Piper's line rest in peace why not use I don't know nobody steals our chicks and lives just a thought it would fit this game really starts like a soft reboot at the end of Duke Nukem 3d back in the glory days and it does give you a good idea what the games gonna be this is taking forever time to stop pissing around and get this big guy back into action [Music] that water's cold and deep - all right step 1 Alpha Team straight up the middle Blake flank left Phillips and I head around that step 2 step 3 is a profit right you ready 1 2 break oh yeah of course dead memes when your game is in development for a long like yep drawn Dick's as we all did hey check out the red marker smells like cherries this is GRU yes sir I gotta get real wouldn't be the first second third fourth fifth or sixth time the game starts with a boss fight with the cycloid Emperor except no circle strafing him this time cuz Duke is slow as [ __ ] can't even sprint while shooting the Devastator is back awesome it holds 69 instead of 99 because 69 you got it you can see how this is all really blurry and ugly that's the post-processing and it looks like [ __ ] which is why I turn it off it's because of the depth of field effect because so you pump a shitload of rockets into the cycloid Emperor with the EDF air dropping more in so you got a run when you're out of ammo it's pretty tedious honestly especially when you can barely run but it's not real it's just Duke Nukem playing a game while getting blown by these Olsen twins standings which let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that these characters were added in the newer 2006 version to the game when the Olsen twins were 20 years old so it's not creepy they're Deadites tears are though and the fact that Duke is a console peasant and the fact that I'm pretty sure this girl will suck it if this one over here I don't know maybe working the Bulls maybe she had a finger up his ass or something it doesn't matter what matters is that either this girl swallows like a low-flow toilet or Duke didn't come what about the game Duke was it any good yeah but after 12 [ __ ] years it should be [Music] and there are still no reports of any activity from the alien ships in his speech on Thursday the president said he remains cautious but optimistic regarding the recent alien visitation it all still sounds pretty scary I can see the ships from here I wonder if it's the same aliens who had to fight 12 years ago of course they are silly why do you think they came back it's because Duke lives here hello but you protect everyone if the president is wrong about them won't you Duke you sure haven't lost your touch Oh Duke be careful out there we'll see you at the party after the show kay see you at the Buddy time for a cold shower baby uh yeah okay so ego is health health it's regenerating and that still sucks you get more ego by doing stuff like admiring yourself in the mirror or playing pool without a queue [Music] you are the best Duke I'm scared of the dark hold me no hold me you want to see something cool Dukes jumping animation [Music] you might notice all these pictures - Duke being awesome because he's an insane narcissist which is canonically true ever since Duke Nukem 2 however in this game after more than a decade of development and the final product it doesn't actually work unless the game is above average oh look the casino Dukes casino the Ladykiller it has 69 floors it has 69 floors damn it's late you get it you get it oh yeah you know what I think I'm done with this now you're supposed to nuke this rat but I think that would be cruel he may be my only friend you've done it now silly you hear them closing in don't you you killed me but spared me the horrifying death look shitty no peer even better-looking in person after the show I want your autograph somewhere special mr. Newcombe will you sign this for me sure kid but I better not find this on eBay yeah here you go he's holding that book upside down he doesn't know how to read take your pills vitamins every day and you might grow up to be as awesome as me Wow thank you mr. Newcombe are you kidding me I'm trying to do a scene with Johnny on the show and there you are wandering through the set no you know it might be too strong no no I just wanted to drop in [ __ ] thanks dick oh yeah you remember this you remember this Christian Bale outburst nope nothing threatening here nothing wrong at all don't worry we still have to go through the Duke Nukem Museum and it's a throne room I'm pretentious can you get now listen to your kiddos this is the worst part of this game right here standing here looking at these images and having the lights [ __ ] up in this place where the player supposed to be looking at things where the player is supposed to be looking at these things remember even though this is happening the aliens are not I repeat the aliens are not attacking in a pre-rendered scene we can't afford this writing is so [ __ ] bad I can't tell whether they thought invading Iraq was a good idea or a bad idea hotcake it was a terrible idea and I don't want to give the game the benefit of the doubt on this but I've got a bad feeling about this okay time to punch aliens and throw trophies and aliens did not shoot no shooting not yet get some ego boosts in this gym and these ego challenge just absolutely don't [ __ ] up the pace of this game drinkin beer as in one beer gets duped drunk and he takes less damage won't be seeing this much so [Applause] [Music] punch some aliens in the dark punched some aliens put in some power cores you can perform executions to refill your health which is fine in theory right I mean doom 2016 did it and everybody loved that well mostly because those were shorter way more over the top you couldn't take damage while you were doing them you got some health back instead of all of it and most importantly you couldn't be damaged while it was happening you get your first gun if the alien blaster and in a brilliant game design move you get this gun first so you know to never pick it up again and I hope you're not using this dupe vision too much in these dark areas because the blue projectiles kind of just blend into the blue overlay of this thing you know that's bad you got to get these power cores to turn the generator on and one of them you get with a remote-controlled car you know plug-in Shadow Warrior except the cars in Shadow Warrior that game on the build engine from 1997 those handled better this car turns automatically around these corners except when it doesn't you ready for the steroids it's a berserk it is basically the preserve from doom that's all it is Wow to 2016 stole so much from Tube do come forever oh [ __ ] I got a real pistol and it isn't bad you can pick up explosive barrels now - and since Duke can benchpress 600 pounds you bet I can throw them five [ __ ] feet man this game is kind of boring I hope they spice it up with a turret section if you just keep clicking the mouse button if the temperature basically never goes up whoo this is soul-crushing okay mothership is down games over right where are they gonna come from if there's no mothership [Applause] you this might be the worst part of the game there's this woman screaming at you you have to stop this elevator and there's a [ __ ] temperature gauge on it what contractors Loeb it Duke for this casino the emergency brake is garbage this woman looks like she's left over from the Unreal 1 days never mind if there was enough time to pry open the elevator door and get around no this is a necessary inclusion in this game about being a badass who shoots aliens but also saves babes am i right it's also about saving the babes let me just get out of this elevator by prying the door open so tube Nukem 3d had some sections where you had to get shrunk and Duke Nukem Forever really likes these sections and they're almost uniformly tedious and [ __ ] hey are you like a toy or something come to life oh you're pretty cool and that toy did an action figure hey wait a minute I know this kid I signed an autograph for him but he was with his dad and now he's with his mom and she has a shirt that says got milf so what happened to the dad did he die did they get divorced in the last five hours look I'm sorry but this game is laying down some hard implications I know right where I'd stick him sweet it really is you Duke but they're right inside my RC car I want to use it it's got one in everything here's your first taste of the vehicles in this game which are frustrating and hard to steer incidentally they kind of feel like the vehicles in the first Borderlands you got aliens abducting women which you can't do anything about that I was forced into a shrinking section for no reason at least when you're in a vehicle section and you screw up you don't die you just get teleported back so that's a minor mercy some platforming where you have to hit jump pads or barstools but there will be jump pads later and it doesn't really matter how you hit them because they all bounce you to the same place for moving all skill that was required in the first place making the whole exercise feel like busywork I'm killing rats I'm not killing aliens I'm not saving chicks here we go let's oh you're so tiny and cute I could carry you around in my pocket like a little pet your hot pocket some giant the Spanish is jacked off to this size only matters would your full-grown baby hey look a shotgun which is a fine weapon I gotta give him credit the shotgun doesn't suck amazing Duke yeah dude you totally beat their asses oh my god I was like so scared me too I am so glad you're okay mmm all right time for my reward twincest not my babes not in my town you alien [ __ ] are gonna pay for this remember that line it'll come up again what you got to understand about Duke Nukem Forever is that while not exactly a travesty it's not even remotely the worst game I've ever played on this channel the problem is you've got the Duke you've got an alien invasion and at no time during this game does it ever feel like there's any sense of urgency which is really really important if you're in a linear scripted kind of shooter like in half-life or half-life 2 let me use a non half-life example there's one level in tube 3 that I always really enjoyed in the end pro plan where everything is exploding and progressing to the next area it feels important or else everyone's gonna [ __ ] die okay well it's doom 3 so everybody's gonna die anyway but still in DNF it's like yeah earth is being invaded and I can stop and play some slots to boost my ego even if it takes [Music] yeah that's awesome I get an ego boost for something completely based on luck this is DNFs formula from now on hallway arena hallway arena you know it except this is the most basic execution of that idea let's get drunk and do steroids uppers and downers baby [Applause] what abyss yeah if you get rushed by pig cops you're [ __ ] because their attacks take half your health away at this point in the game and that nebulous no health left part that the regen health shooters have gives you no idea how many hits you can actually take before you die it's it's bad it's always bad it's always been bad it's not even really Duke Nukem Forever asfalt you got to do a puzzle here it's boring so let's skip it before you get to the lobby to fight an assault commander I want to show you how it accurate some of these guns are take a look at me trying to blast these tripmines [Music] [Music] they've taken the damn Duke the Hoover Dam it's a baby a human baby they've got technology that allows them to harness that generators did create some kind of wormhole in the sky I know I shouldn't question a stupid thing in a Duke Nukem game but can we all agree that the alien race with the capacity for faster than light travel probably doesn't need the Hoover Dam as a power source also look big sky portal it's just like half-life guys did half-life start that what's that the Avengers what is the fourth dimension however we've got even more immediate problems they're taking our women Duke I think you understand the implications here screw the dam where are they taking our chicks Yeah right cool yes awesome let's go save the chicks we need to move in and decimate the alien force on all fronts I've asked your old friend captain Dillon to join us he knows how you like to do things Duke good to [ __ ] see you Dillon you son of a [ __ ] I knew that retirement [ __ ] was just [ __ ] [ __ ] that retirement [ __ ] I just got back from helping my friend find his wife how much I've come to hate captive Dillon since playing this game there are 60,000 miles of nerves and thin layers to fill the human body if the word hate was written on each nano angstrom of these tens of thousands of miles of nautical billion of the hate I feel for captain Taylor that this micro instant okay can't wait to pound them in the cornhole dude we've got your green power armor over here ready to go power armor is for [ __ ] well okay you want a gun instead yeah sure that'd be cool but I get DN apps version of the Ripper instead which is a serious downgrade it has the lamest sound it's inaccurate as hell it just feels wimpy and it's still one of the weapons I keep throughout most of the game just to show you how dire the situation with the guns is you know in a video game where you pick up a new weapon and you lets you play around with a little now we got to do a turret section I'll just assume the Ripper is totally inaccurate because the guy next to be using it keeps hitting me with it try not to let him get [ __ ] killed well yeah and leave some of those alien [ __ ] for me remember Leroy Jenkins remember Leroy Jenkins Bosh time no wait we got another turret section we're maybe a quarter of the way through the game and you've seen all the game's tricks already so it's gonna be this for the rest of the time hey nuke the streets blowing all the hell we'll probably need to head to that store over there to get to the Duke though no you know what it doesn't even deserve the counts you guys remember the battle Lord he's back I sure didn't get enough him into Carini except now he can only be damaged by rockets which I have an infinite supply of because there are ammo crates because this game is an amalgamation of every bad shooter trope that sucks and the game doesn't really do anything to make fun of them and insists that everything happening is totally badass when it's actually pretty Shannon with Rockets then QuickTime events but one of them is punching them in the balls which is totally worth all the time I spent not being even slightly engaged with what's going on right in the jewel you go through some stuff that's pretty much the same thing you've been doing just running a straight line and shooting aliens you get the railgun but we've talked about that you have to stop and do this really valve like physics puzzle with barrels that's weird not a place and just seems to waste my time you get to boss fight a ship which we already know isn't the first time that that happens I got to power up the crane to get into the doop dome which is way easier than using the front door oh no see I'm not making this out too well what is this it's so dark but I guess it doesn't look bad let's talk about balls these balls that are used as keys in this section of the game in this incredibly dark section of the game where you can't see where you're going and how when you have the Duke fishing on and you're anywhere near that little ball the screen is just blinding white it's another one of those small things that make me wish I had a physical copy of this game that I could [ __ ] burn you know that's not fair stiffy you know that's not fair you gotta be yeah be nice to these people here's a fun tip don't try to shoot rockets and octa brains cuz they used to be a one-hit insta-kill in duke3d not anymore they throw the Rockets back and now it's a one hit insta kill for you awesome whoa assault captain he's kidnapping women I gotta stop her oh no wait he's scripted I can't do anything that sounds a lot like women crying is that Oh God oh god here we go here's the grease I can't save any of these women they're not here to be saved they're here to destroy the comedic tone that this game had hold on I don't want to say anything else about the hive it is the worst think of how many people this had to pass by before release how many people including totally woke Randy Pitchford nobody who saw this and said yeah let's keep that in well TNF isn't the worst soup nukem game this is the lowest point this is the lowest point for my show it's not shocking or funny or funny because it's shocking it's just gross and creepy and we're moving on you could have just gone from the Dukedom here not falling into the hive and face the big three tenets alien queen it says alien queen but believe me it ate the last one toss pipe bombs hit with explosives this boss is easy as piss if you remember not to use the rocket launcher on the octa brains that spawn this is actually the fourth time I've completed this game you get knocked out again because thinking of a story transition is hard oh my god Duke you're covered in blood is it your own blood oh Jesus I'm just an engineer medic medic oh don't worry I'll take care of you and you end up at Duke Nukem steady city oh boy these topless girls that I have to censor they look like [ __ ] crash-test dummies we have crash-test titties well first I'm kind of hungry so I need something to nibble on and then I need something naughty to play with and then well a girl has to play it safe even with you Duke I'd want to use a condom - Duke and probably has more diseases than the CDC he should have listened to low Wang before you are a cop rapper you like ah yeah you hear that low Wang is now a tasteful palate cleanser for this [ __ ] Greece eNOS what are these death sticks okay George but I think I'll wait until the next level of smoke a big fat cigar yes this is the perfect time for this game oh yeah I'll take special dance shake it baby [Music] that was real special you want to touch it don't you Wow Duke was in porn that's cool glad the steroid abuse didn't do anything weird to him down there if I want to get out of this level I got to watch this chick - a lap dance this is the hardest boss fight in this game so I'm gonna be drunk for it [Music] [Music] last time I do any wall play finally you're awake you missed a lot you attach the aliens [ __ ] but there's a time it's not like that's something that can be easily disproven in Duke Nukem is a world renowned celebrity that's probably more popular than the president this is how much of an [ __ ] the president has to be in order for Duke to be more likeable in this game next up is one of the game's highlights the Duke burger even if it starts with another goddamn turret section the shrunken pig cops under the cops is a good gag I'm proud of you TNF let's get back to what Duke is best at walking into a cool real-world location and blasted the crap out of it now now we're getting drunk most of this level is being shrunk and platforming you have to lead some larger enemies into shrink pads to deal with them which is almost a decent twist but also not and then like that BAM you're on the roof fighting the same monsters getting dropped by the same drop ships until the game says you can keep going the shrinker works it's cool maybe every helicopter I get into wouldn't crash if the goddamn turrets could cover any of this space here I mean it makes it impossible to not get hit we're here to secure a landing zone because we can't go right to the dam it's gonna be a bumpy road well the car controls like dog [ __ ] and you know what it doesn't have like at all a fing tube Dukan would probably have on a super awesome car guns it has no guns so you have to RAM things which would be awesome except the car controls like the several times a forementioned [ __ ] [ __ ] and also let's not forget having to stop three separate times to gas the thing up now hold on I'll just wait for my health to reach and 10 feet away from you guys it's fine don't attack me okay okay good here's an area where there's several gas cans and I can only carry one because they weigh 600 pounds my favorite part is this where you can't kill anything and you have to avoid barrels you know now that I think about it saving this game would have been good in 2004 ignores the fact that this game had come out in 2004 it would have played like something in 1998 we're gonna skip the mind since we've already talked about it and go to what is usually considered the best part of this game the ghost town where it's like open and you have a good selection of weapons and the scripting isn't too bad we've reached the absolute peak of this game kids right at the top of mount mediocre take that air in it doesn't get any better [Music] but such good gas mileage oh you [ __ ] I hate the president I have breathing this he's here for some reason telling me that I suck at all this stuff cool okay you're barely a character in this but please come back to the end to get a karmic death okay thanks bye you get to fight the battle Lord again except get this you have to wear them down twice and do the QuickTime event twice I'm gonna be real that's a terrible idea and I feel like it's a complete waste of time to just take the same boss and make them artificially more difficult for no reason just to Pat out the game but this game is unship well we got to get it out we got to get those corners cut baby yeah listen I know smart talented people worked on this but it's still [ __ ] bad and it wastes the players time when you've spent 12 years making a game and you waste the players time are you kidding is there a worse thing you can do oh sorry I forgot about Holly [ __ ] Duke this is just like that one time in Beirut you wouldn't believe the chubbie I got the shrunk machine does not appear in the shrunk machine part 1 I don't want to take the freeze thrower but I got to show you kids how it works of course the best place to introduce this weapon is in this tight corridor you need to use your dupe vision on and you can't tell when you freeze them cuz all the colors the same and also against enemies that one bullet or one melee hit will kill faster the freeze ray forces the enemies into an execution state but it's easier to just shoot them with a real gun and not take the damage you'll be taking trying to freeze them in the first place do you like the hoover dam because it's a third of this [ __ ] game maybe that's exaggerating but it sure feels like it I hate valve puzzles you hate you you hate valve puzzles no I can't I can't anymore I just did you not do the stupid [ __ ] physics puzzles I already go my god there's this room where you can negate any difficulty by running under the catwalk so the pig cops with rocket launchers can't one hit you cool you're one news nothing no more please whistles hey look a forklift it handles better than Dukes truck did why almost every character in this game is either fawning over to car being relentlessly annoying and saying no no words because haha funny so when you get this guy who drives this crane thing during the big octoprint boss battle it's funny because you know with donkey punch is applied to the head to stun the chick and make her tighten up which isn't something I would support because that's horrible and abusive but also if you're talking punching something in the blowhole that's not a donkey punch unless you're [ __ ] a dolphin which I would support oh look it's Dylan again he's back please go away charges Penta [ __ ] right on the dance walls and blow it to [ __ ] guess he won't be in the sequel ah he was your friend DNFs ace in the hole towards the end of this game is this underwater section you know to make the game slower I remember a time when Duke Nukem could not only hold his breath but he got an item that would help him breathe underwater it's so [ __ ] boring stop and start and stop and start and blow up the dam so you can go see the final boss scream the president you remember the final boss because it's the cycloid Emperor again you know how in a video game the boss is like the final challenge to really test the player and it makes them use what they've learned throughout the game to conquer the nope nope nope nope now what you got to do is use the very first monster you faced in the game who incidentally is the same final boss from last game that was 14 years ago now you have to wear them down three times how exciting the President ordered a nuclear strike and you probably could have left and that would have done it instead of staying where you and graves get hit with the nuclear blast but you know you're the Duke you're right number one and that's the end [Music] what kind of [ __ ] ending is that I know right it's almost as if there's more to the story that was hastily chopped off and sold later as DLC Duke now that the aliens are dead and you've saved the world once again Oh what are you going to do I'm gonna run for president hail to the king baby you you think I'm just gonna leave it there no no I'm gonna finish it and you know the worst part the doctor who cloned me is much better and it's the end of the entire franchise like ashes in my mouth doctor who cloned me starts by revealing the tube Nukem did not in fact die he's at area 51 what the hell where am i and is it me or does the voice sound different like it was recorded years after the other stop oh [Music] [ __ ] a terminator [Music] dude I'm working on it dr. proton you're supposed to be dead holy crap it's dr. proton we have an actual character who speaks who isn't [ __ ] Dylan who doesn't just what a bang to croquetas autograph I don't know what to do I hold up we're getting way too close to having some kind of character dynamic between Duke Nukem and well anyone oh the expander I remember this gun and it's more effective in this game that it wasn't Duke reading what the plot it yeah that's cool time for an ego boost which is weird I always feel shame after looking at porn everything in this DLC is a step up from the campaign like this is all probably cut content that they had lying around from development but way more polished the pace thing is a hundred times better most of the time since platforming is still garbage in this game you got to do this and this is boring and awkward especially when Duke decides to not jump when you press the jump button long enough to see phase 3 that's when I kill you not a great comeback but man proton is killing in this DLC I understand why he does things he doesn't seem like an idiot I mean except the whole clone thing they're not clones they're cyborgs which he has to train their robots that he has to strength train oh by the way good job leaving all these ego boost opportunities around to get the player back to a decent amount of health good Anya at least Duke can shrug off an atomic explosion I'm like [ __ ] new Colossus PJ blaskowitz I'm still mad about that the jokes in the main campaign were [ __ ] weak and then the DLC comes in and introduces self deprecation even reflection on to nukem whereas the main campaign it was all I'm the greatest and every character interaction supported that except the game was boring and shitty so it came off really badly my god it's another one don't shoot me you understood you sit the real dude okay God you have to save me the control panel is on the other side of this door the whole place is on lockdown but I think I can get us out of here make your way around and hurry up all right sit tight wait hold on did you just show interest in saving another human being okay well let's help him out I mean none of the other hand scanners work for me let me try oops okay well let's reload a checkpoint and then not try that which gives him a better chance of not being chipped by a door it's better this way this whole thing is better way more interesting with much better pacing problem is that it's DLC the Duke Nukem Forever you're trying to jumpstart a Hot Wheels car my own ass but it's got to be done that's not a bad line either I'm so confused dr. proton keeps talking to me on loudspeaker he knows everywhere I am like he's not an idiot he's not an idiot after distracting the clone dudes and going through a test that seems to reference portal a bit but my evo puzzles another novelty weapon the impregnator which is well a novelty weapon I'll never use it again it's like shooting toxic grenades even combat sections seem more streamlined to drag less than the ones in DNF but it's gonna be done gonna find another way out a shitty shrunk section - in the RC car again it's the worst when they're recycling bad ideas from another swimming section but it seems even slower because you're small oh ha ha it's Dookie and a lady vagina mitten that's what those are called right holy [ __ ] no I've volunteered for one of them Super Soldier DNA programs but it turns out some [ __ ] [ __ ] Copland hijacked the base during the invasion now I got a go deal with this [ __ ] with you here buddy this ought to be a piece of cake like old [ __ ] times bro whoa I paid for this Dillon gets shrunk his voice is even more annoying now oh [ __ ] me last one now I'm the [ __ ] tiny one listen what I think you're swearing too much maybe it's time to stop this will be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway Oh [ __ ] roll reflexes are good all right try not to die again actually please die again right on man proton is owning this DLC I hope he doesn't [Music] that's the last thing you'll steal from me douchebag well that was an undignified end of the best character in Duke Nukem Forever we're barely halfway through this DLC that he's in the [ __ ] title of and he's dead it was our old friend dr. proton and he's not the head of anything anymore Oh squishy like that kinda makes me spaghetti I hate you what follows this is kind of a boring slug on this hovering platform dodging lasers and shooting aliens it's more of the bad parts at the end after where it feels like padding which would be more excusable in this because there's much less of it in the doctor who cloned me I usually feel like I'm actually getting somewhere moving towards something like there's actual stakes Duke and Captain Dillon well I'll be god damned you better be ready for a fight gentlemen new reports indicate the alien Empress herself has arrived on that moon the Empress you don't mean the Queen the big three tinted one I killed already whoa wait a minute this is a decently plotted battle with AI companions one of whom isn't horrendously annoying I can actually choose whether to use turrets or explosives there's aliens fight and do clones fighting us if you'd squeezed all the CLC content in like right after I don't know that horrible bit with the monster truck ignored the Hoover Dam altogether you've got to add it a couple points to every DNF review in the world all this would have been like that ghost town part that everyone said was the highlight of the game come on let's go buddy hey careful so protons plan was to use clones that's madness that program was years away from being complete holy [ __ ] is that a joke like a good joke like a subtle and oh my god we have our own special way out of here okay we're back boy this brings back memories I got my first HJ in a short bus I'd complain about how that joke was lazy but triptychs name is on the bus this bus handles better than Dukes mighty foot and that's just for also [ __ ] god dammit that was close too close those bastards must have all the tunnels sealed by now but there might be another way now the army used to have a secret entrance out here in the desert it's hidden under some of the buildings up the road if you follow the dirt path here you can't miss it so remember to Newcomb's titty city well this is the same thing except better yeah better because you have a lady here right this is doctor Valencia as she doesn't immediately want a bang Duke oh you're another one of those you want to get down to the base don't you well not this time it's like I keep telling you guys it's off-limits you have no idea what I'm even saying to you you can't even tell a plank length from a pluton I got your plank length right here baby you gonna let me in or what hmm okay well that's not a typical response but don't try to tell me you're the real Duke Nukem are you she wants to bang him but not immediately well I guess you could be you're easy enough on the eyes but I need to be certain you're the real thing he's known to have certain talents you know hmm I like where this is going tell you what you do for me and maybe I'll do for you sound fair anything for Saints baby you have to power up the generator take care of the rat problem in the basement with a little shrinking involved in a pig cop instead of you know no action whatsoever and beat up some dudes go on take the you know what to do you don't start giving me what I paid for I'm gonna get mad and you don't want to see me when I'm mad baby you know what happens then oh my hero you want a freebie not right now kind of weird still with the punching the dudes and probably killing them considering how they rag down but it's a step in the right direction Dillon is off doing some [ __ ] thing I don't care the rest of this level though there's the atmosphere and personality there's a sense of actual dread among the patrons of this whorehouse death so much death everywhere boobies we'll make it better this one section feels more human and has more life to it than the entirety of the main campaign and instead of feeling like a distraction it feels like a break like they could have made it better Duke Nukem Forever and they just didn't whether to the funding or time constraints or whatever Oh have a doctor look at that Dook good timing I was just uh ready to go you find the way down follow me yeah follow me come on we're heading out we have a plan agency in the plot this totally badass character isn't just being led by the nose like a common theoretical physicist here we are you ready to go down I didn't mean that to sound never so how much of a discount do I get later should you be out saving the world or do they save that job for someone who showers I like her whoa wait that's damn epic kinda makes me want to say the word dick over and over again for no reason Nick Nick Nick Nick Nick is it so you do a battle and teleport to the moon grab a moon rover drive around till it runs out of power which it only does once instead of the 50 times Duke's [ __ ] monster truck ran out of gas you get out you notice all these Duke clones you telling me that proton was successful enough with his Duke clones to get them here all the way to the frigging moon and he's the one who went out like a [ __ ] halfway through that ain't fair man not having a spacesuit sucks I'll tell you that you have to Trek over to this broken moon rover get a Power Cell take some jump pads back it's not great but it's fine I guess it's less shitty than the underwater section from before once you've done that you get to the empress who is almost a functional boss and way better than having to fight the cycloid emperor again you drive the rover into her legs a couple of aliens spawn you kill them you don't even have to drive around to get attacked by the Empress you repeat that until it lets you drive the rover into her where you shoot a bunch of aliens and also her insides you do that twice and then oh hold on I know how this goes some drive-by dental surgery time for some drive-by dental shoes let's just use gag reflex the game ends with Duke get this saving a bunch of women this is probably what leads to dupe running for president and you know what [ __ ] this DLC because it gave me hope hope that they could make a decent dupe game again while under the thumb of take two will never ever put money into this franchise ever again this DLC came out a little over six months after dn after the damage was already done and I know there's plenty of people who would rather not see anymore tube nukem games I understand you don't want it to be like last time but it doesn't have to be just three years ago they came out with a tomb game that was about a voiceless Space Marine or ancient hell Walker or whatever that ran on anger and did nothing besides violently murder demons with his bare hands people know how to make this game there are people right now who could make a good Duke Nukem game maybe they're too busy stashing eleventy billion guns and eleventy billion crates maybe they're small independents who could make something that doesn't have bleeding edge visuals but as heart and soul you know how people say something is always alive as long as you keep it in your hearts that might work for Grandma but not the king we could have two Nukem again it's not unthinkable it's not impossible it only requires the will and the balls [Music] it's time City it's time to save the world I have to send you back what I send it back in time to warn us but it didn't work I killed him yeah well you said two scary-looking robot back in time what did you think was gonna happen [ __ ] yeah go now son I know what I have to do cool cool guess I'll be doing what pro quake 2 next I've never even played quick 2 on the hardest skill I don't really care for it it's kind of bland oh you're not well it's about [ __ ] time come on you want to be else which [ __ ] step right up to the gun show oh [Music] [Music] god what is this that's weird hey past me we need to have a talk yes [Music] you must be the new recruit I am a CL for PTP Stuart but but you can just call me general claptrap of a princess yeah I'm out [Music] [Music]

Channel: Civvie 11

Views: 2,074,730

Keywords: cv11, civvie11, civvie, civvie's dungeon, duke nukem, pro duke, dnf, duke nukem forever, 3d realms, gearbox, entertainment, review, recap

Id: rSv8J6mpKLw

Length: 66min 1sec (3961 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 02 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/Stranger371]

Finally.

I love Civvie, he knows his shit.

[u/scottishdrunkard]

Great Video. Not Great Game.

I like what he said at the end about all you need to revive Duke Nukem is go get people with heart. Reminds me about my draft for a Duke 5, which I made whilst bored. I think I'll share an opening pitch.

Draft: Duke Nukem is now a depressed washed up celebrity. He slapped his name on inferior products (this is how I'm retconning DNF) and basically became a one-trick pony. He spends his time in his mansion, eating snacks and watching TV in his bathrobe. Then a robot from space crashes in his pool. The robot tells him that species from across the galaxy heard how Duke thwarted two Alien Empires, and he sought Duke out to possibly save them. Duke then decides he helps nobody wallowing in self pity, hops on a ride, and... well... Kicks Alien Dicks, Saves Alien Chicks. Boom! Tagline!

Anyway, that's my pitch, I think if coordinated correctly i.e. Not randy Pitchford, we could wind up with a game for a good Duke Nukem Comeback. Or at least a better port of DN3D.

[u/R-A-S-0]

aww sheeeit. I've been waiting for this

[u/toilet_crimes]

really glad he's hit 100k subs.

[u/daviejambo]

Oh he's doing duke nuke em forever - this will be good

I'll watch this when I get home from work

[u/[deleted]]

Yaaay! new civvie, also.... this is the big one... The one we've all been waiting for.

[u/[deleted]]

What's with the amount of Duke Nukem Forever videos coming out? Matt McMuscles is doing a playthrough as well.

[u/ZeroBANG]

i had no idea there was a DLC

[u/shak3800]

Am i the only that actually enjoyed this game? The graphics are pretty good for 2011 and its just silly fun