(old and crap) Land of the Dead / The Silence of the Pigs

I laughed welcome to the dungeon this is Sevilla Levin I love me some Romero zombie movies I mean I really like nightly living dad daughter dead and day of the dead but George Romero father of the modern interpretation zombies didn't stop with three nearly perfect movies full of gore and social commentary he kept making more that nobody asked for including diary of the dead survival of the Dead conflict of the dead escape from the Planet of the Dead Black Friday of the Dead next Black Friday of the Dead and also land of the dead land of the Dead is probably the best of these but it's not it's social commentary is somehow less subtle than daughter dead we don't negotiate with terrorists see Johnny legs here is going to blow up their big Tower world rich people live Hoffman said that he doesn't you know they want to do a jihad ahead ask ok yeah Ashley luckily the dead it's silly but it doesn't take itself too seriously has good gore likable enough characters and performances I'm not here to hate on George Romero I deeply love the man but not even he is immune to the curse of officially-licensed shovelware games so we get land of the dead Road to Fiddler's Green a prequel story to the movie I'm going to let this game speak for itself [Music] so you want to know how I got here yeah I'll tell you my story it's okay I really don't care I'm just here to shoot zombies I just finished feeding the hogs and the power went out that happens from time to time out here in the country I tried calling The Electric Company but the lines were dead I didn't think too much of it at the time later that day I noticed a stranger in my yard something wasn't right with him the way he was just standing there I think I'd rather look around first maybe find some kind of weapon since it's a foregone conclusion that it's a zombie you might notice how there's always huge text on the screen that doesn't go away hey [ __ ] let me go out there and actually find out if that's a zombie that's a situation right with comedic possibilities okay sorry man you were trying to knock I guess you want to come in and have a cup of brains fine [ __ ] you I'm gonna get liquored up and vote for Donald Trump he'll take care of the zombies he's very smart he's a good businessman and I faith in his ability to make great deal with zombies I'm sure he'll give them a tax cut now we'll get 70% of the brains it's a smart deal talk him down 30% make it look like you're doing them a favor 3d chess my friends okay we're jumping to kill The Strangers I think that's what mr. Rogers taught us okay I've done this plenty of times before you got your rifle here he's saved for the head to zombie you can't lose BAM okay I guess I won't do it it's only a 22 so shooting someone in the head with it might not be fatal okay so not two maybe three now takes four shots to the head with this to waste a zombie a [ __ ] zombie I'm noticing that I don't have any food in this house just empty beer bottles I can't open the basement door okay fine let me just okay I can't open the other basement door now I run out of ammo which the game seems to have anticipated and I have to get to the shed to get my other gun but I need the key to the shed which is in my basement which has zombie in it how is there a zombie and there I can't get into the [ __ ] basement from either interest how the [ __ ] did he get in there yeah okay this might be a little academic but I have to talk about the house and the brilliant way that brain box games establishes our character through subtle and believable hints about its life style told entirely through the meson said this man's house has lost power which he says is a common occurrence his cabinets are completely bare he sleeps in the upstairs hallway and has a bottle of pills next to his bed his library has very few books in it and a toilet and a medicine cabinet with five more bottles prescription pills likely painkillers his bedroom also has two small desks possibly meant for children and two more cabinets with books in them the only photo I can see on the wall is of a cow he has broken frigerator in his attic next to the case where he keeps his rifle and there's another child's desk in the corner he doesn't keep a key to his basement or shed on him instead keeping the shed key in filing cabinet in the basement next to some large empty shelving units it's kind of look like refrigerators too he keeps a magnum revolver in the shed so he can gather that we have a man who abuses both alcohol and prescription painkillers who at some point ran kind of school and the Attic was we're either very good or the very bad kids went his first instinct or possibly a command from force only perceptible to the barber himself is to kill strangers monsters that appear outside his home and it presumably killed the pigs he claims to have which don't appear in the game and are never referenced again as he goes on his adventure which means food for his pigs was not a concern now you've got a zombie as in a reanimated corpse coming out of the basement that was locked at both entrances you have what looks like a lot of refrigeration equipment I think we know what's going on here bad kids got fed to the pigs we never go inside this other building on his property that's where the pigs must be and there must be food in there for them that will last a while he just got done feeding I just finished feeding the Hogs when the power went out after all this guy loves his animals but I don't think he's too fond of people so I get the gun from the shed which is useful and can actually headshot properly but ammo is a little scarce for it so I'll use the hammer I found which doesn't one hit but the alternate fire will knock the zombies on their ass but as they're getting up they don't take damage only when they are completely upright so no cheap shots while they're down I can't Jeff we're doing Mario rules in a zombie FPS game from 2005 sure I make sense I killed the strangers it was them or me the poor devils looked like a felon a septic tank and festered for a few days I had never killed no one before so I sure was real spooked oh I bet you never killed anyone me either I decided to head over to my neighbors across the cornfield yes the cornfield Jesus you know this is unreal Taksim is last time look at that fog look at this entire bat made of [ __ ] hay bales I really wanted to save ammo so I just kept knocking them down waiting knocking them down again these zombies you can tell when you find will kill them because they do the whole early 2000s rag doll thing remember that oh those were good times the AI in this game is uh subpar and I mean subpar for zombies I managed to get on top of one of these bales of hay and I'm pretty sure I could have stayed there forever Zombies didn't even notice me I mean there's this thing that was sold for money this is like one of those steam early access zombie games I don't have any footage from one of those games because I don't like flushing my money down the toilet or accidentally getting sued for fifteen million dollars by look at this it's like my legs don't even exist zombies only see the head I think I found a perfect defensible position to survive the zombie apocalypse my neighbors were dead I didn't know what the heck was going on and I was scared to death for those of you tuning in this is not a joke something has gone horribly horribly wrong dramatic gun [ __ ] is great but if you really want to be intimidating in this game you got to do it four times I did with the man on the TV said and stayed on the farm as long as I could where did you get all those beans they weren't there before I searched that house really thoroughly and this bean thing was really bothering me so I restarted the game and went looking for the beans and they're not in those cabinets and also the cabinets don't exist I think they cut the canned beans mission out luckily they kept the sewer level ends I mean how else do you get to the hospital ambulance roads the surface [ __ ] amateur it's like my Uncle Frank used to say you ain't livin unless you got [ __ ] on your boots boy so yeah this is the sewer level is so bland so uninspired so [ __ ] dull that it is a gold standard of terrible sewer levels except that it is kind of fun to see the zombies interact with water I like this trick in games where you think it's a corpse but it gets up and attacks you this game likes it too so much so that I'm going to have to start counting them because they happen often enough for it to be a problem so you go through the sewers to get to the hospital so you can find this guy a doctor and since this game doesn't have the budget for more voice actors the farmer narrates the doctor and comfort supplies a few days ago the men he was with were murdered by those living dead once the killing started he locked himself in this room it kept him safe but now he couldn't get out the doctor said that if I went to the basement I could open the door by flicking an electrical switch down there what I love about the switch hunting in this games the switch themselves aren't even animated they don't even do red light green light they don't even move not a single switch in this game actually moves or does anything when you interact with it outstanding switches don't work but you could pick up any goddamn phone in the game and hear a dial tone that's the important thing that's where the realism comes in I'm going to give the game some credit the body bags with zombies in them is a nice touch I have a fire axe now which may be the best melee weapon in the game you know if the hit detection in this game was worth a damn aim for the head right well you're more likely to just annoy the zombie or chop off one of their arms I'm aiming for the head you clearly see that you're trying to save ammo by mailing a zombie but the game decides nah man I'm just going to let the zombie get a cheap hit in on you even though you just put a fire axe through its face this is a problem with the guns too and it turns out that if you aim slightly to the right of the head you're more likely to get a head shot that's funny to you I bet but I got to play this [ __ ] I've had games do that before but usually the character had to be drunk or high or something which is still a strong possibility we're eating a lot of pills probably try to stave off the DTS just to be clear it's a zombie game where the zombies are extra stupid and the historically foolproof method killing zombies is completely broken you might see some zombies carrying weapons or tools and while a headshot is lethal to an unarmed zombie you need to put five or six shots into an armed zombie because video games the zombies alternate between being strong enough to break down doors to being strong enough to break down walls in a game with such simple nope the absolute simplest combat and enemy AI you can aim for having it be so goddamn inconsistent it's just it's I don't understand why does it sound like the zombies are ripping pieces of duct tape off when they attack is that supposed to be your clothes ripping it's really distracting aside from unarmed zombie and armed zombie you will also face puke zombie puke sabe is different because there's a green cloud around them and they can make your health bar go away and [ __ ] up your vision so that's three enemy types basically and that's it you want to know what a boss looks like in this fan here [Music] you might not believe it but this game has a stamina meter you can't see it but it's there when you sprint for a little while you'll abruptly stop and the farmer will make this noise like he's clutching his chest about to have a [ __ ] heart attack I hate stamina limits in general but not even having a little thing in the HUD to tell you that your farmer couldn't outrun a wild jim sterling just come the [ __ ] on everything is wrong just everything the music is a bunch of terrible lazy loops that you could probably find on a royalty-free site somewhere inside the police station you find Otis and Otis is well he's Otis and he's in jail I assume he's a criminal and you can't kill him I tried the game doesn't like that I found out his name so he isn't a stranger anymore you might think I'm skipping over things and I am but those things are just more awful zombie combat and nothing else the whole police station same old thing occasionally broken up by the game telling you to get keys and things Oh toises sure glad to be free but what would we do now the radio said there was a safe house and an old theater nearby we could go there but the city streets were too dangerous to travel on foot my new friend Otis had a plan Otis had an 18-wheeler cab and the impound lot he would get it and pick me up and then we make for the theater my job was to cover him from the roof oh boy it's a sniper cover mission with an AI partner what could possibly go wrong in this game with already stellar AI and hit detection besides everything you would expect no wait first we have to go get a sniper rifle from the police armory but no first we have to get the access code to it from the computer lab upstairs a secure location where something like that would obviously be kept Otis was ready to run to the truck I didn't have many bullets in the sniper rifle so I had to be careful I couldn't let a single one of them get to him I aim for the head like an idiot Otis even though he has a magnum and can headshot chooses not to now imagine the hackey it's lazy a' staying this game could possibly do go on you're never going to guess because you my dear viewer and only friend are not capable of knowing what comes next no van should be capable of knowing what comes next Otis barely made it to his truck when a bunch of them attacked I saw him wave and yell something all I caught was theater and then he drove away I was alone again I had to find another way to get to the theater it wasn't too far but the streets were crawling with the Living Dead I decided to get there through the sewers it's another sewer level one sewer level is lazy two sewer levels is open hostility and I would talk about what happens in the sewer level but nothing [ __ ] happens [Music] leader was barricaded like a fortress but everyone was dead those things got to them I needed to rest but first first first first I had some business to deal with the theater is supposed to be a shelter right this is where we were supposed to get to it's full of zombies maybe they shouldn't keep all these dead bodies in here you know I'm just saying after you clear off the theater Otis comes back in his truck oh he really does carries a criminal with the heart of gold I asked Otis where we were going a trucker on his CB radio told him about a city of the Living completely surrounded by water and walled off the most creatures we had to find a way there our best bet was to go by boat we headed for the docks freedom was inside Otis would go down and find a boat while I covered him now I understand getting Otis to his truck but now he's just kind of there and you're protecting him so you can both get to a boat but he's useless in the context of this being a video game this level isn't completely useless and here's why it gives me a chance to explain why the level design is so [ __ ] bad most of this game is running through corridors or sewers or alleyways and trying to kill zombies but there's a part in this level that I think best exemplifies how the people making this had no [ __ ] idea what they were doing on one of the useless side quests that Pat out the games running time you enter a building and have to navigate around broken staircases in order to get to the roof because of the way it's in organically shoved into this area there's one path you can take to get to the other side after your mission objective is done you need to take that path back but this time there are zombies coming after you from the opposite direction and so they have to take the same route that you took to get there and they do they just mark single-file and I can just pick them off long before they ever get to make this isn't scary and then you finally go outside and unlock it will stop screaming it's out attacking me been terrified and it won't [ __ ] die it's always no I'd stayed a sniper rifle bullet etc tooth for head and Magnum took care of it [ __ ] I thought this game might start getting scary we barely got out of there alive it was like they knew we were trying to get away I was relieved but Onis wasn't doing so good I could tell they got to him is the fact that he's covered in blood and bite marks could something other than a zombie have done that to him they got to me kill me before I turn into one of them what do you wait for do it do it now it took a while but I finally made it to the city of the living people from the city were trying to get supplies across the river but the drawbridge wasn't working they asked me for help and I had just couldn't say no if you thought the sewer level was hacky it's time for the turret section of course this game has a turret section and of course it [ __ ] you don't have a crosshair and anything you're firing at is obscured by the muzzle flash and the hit detection is already [ __ ] but this isn't the thing that bothers me the most this is did you catch it let's take a closer look do you notice the zombies coming up from the water the water that surrounds the city and keeps the zombies out a trucker on a CB radio told him about a city of the Living completely surrounded by water look at that I don't need to blow the place out the [ __ ] stench is did it for me this is a pretty big plot point in the movie how the zombies found out that they could do this this game is a prequel in fact the entire climax of the movie happens because the dead finally cross the river those cool shots to the dead rising out of the water which were even used in the trailer which even comes with this game well these are the oh [ __ ] moments of the movie but [ __ ] that we got a video game to [ __ ] out and was ignoring the minute the gate took me to meet an important man named mr. Coughlin mr. Kaufman was mighty impressed with how I helped out the bridge he was so impressed that he offered me a job on the spot you see there was this big tall skyscraper called Fiddler's Green filled with fancy rich people apartments he wanted to fix it up again but those flesh eaters had infested it he said that cleanup was almost done only a few pockets of the things were left it sounded dangerous but he gave me a nice place to live and lots of money to do it besides mr. Coughlin said that by doing this I'd be helping out a lot of people's good people just like me so you're starting off at the garage Fiddler's great clear it out then you move to the tower itself which isn't nearly as impressive as it was in the movie and you end up back to where you were in the opening cutscene a can clear out one of the penthouses and that's how I got from the farm to the top of Fiddler's great inside the city life went on Kaufman opened his fancy Tower so I guess farmers now one of the elite rich people a Fiddler's Green that everyone hates with sounded dangers but he gave me a nice place to live and lots of money to do it okay I can see what's happening this is a post Dombey apocalypse American dream where you work hard for a wealthy businessman and he in turn makes you rich too and there are no repercussions whatsoever oh and also you're a drug-addled gun-toting lunatic I'm out are we done oh thank [ __ ] that was only like a four-hour game but when three hours and 45 minutes of that is spent trying to outsmart the broken hit detection or get the AI to do something funny you know it's a bad time I doubt you'll ever even find this game let alone play it but I hear there's an xbox version and believe it or not there are people playing it online right now don't be those people [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Civvie 11

Views: 347,610

Rating: 4.8759079 out of 5

Keywords: civvie, cv-11, cv11, civvie's dungeon, land of the dead, land of the dead movie, land of the dead game, land of the dead: road to fiddler's green, land of the dead the game, george romero, gaming, entertainment, comedy, game review, romero zombie, worst zombie game, zombie, zombies, night of the living dead, dawn of the dead, day of the dead, survival of the dead, diary of the dead, sunny afternoon of the dead, fps, 2005, bad AI, like the worst ai, hay bales, dungeon, shovelware

Id: fXXZQmCXl0M

Length: 22min 36sec (1356 seconds)

Published: Tue May 02 2017