[FEMALE ANNOUNCER]
Good morning, and welcome
to the Black Mesa transit system. This automated train is provided
for the security and convenience of the Black Mesa
Research Facility personnel. [CIVVIE]
It's finally... time... to finish what
I started with Hunt Down the Freeman... *Vague Voices plays* [CIVVIE]
You guys remember how Doom changed everything,
and everything after Doom was a Doom clone? Well, that's a thing that kept going
for like 5 years, even Quake suffered from it, id Software was unstoppable,
they'd even moved out of DOS. There was WinQuake,
but more importantly, I remember getting a copy
of Doom 95 with Final Doom. That image there scared
the fucking pants off a Child Civvie. Doom 95 was a new thing using
the other new thing at the time, DirectX, and the team at Microsoft that
was priming the pump for Bill Gates to put on a trench-coat
in front of Nuclear Plant. [BILL GATES]
These games are
getting really realistic. [CIVVIE]
That team was headed by a Microsoft employee
by the name of Gabe Newell, a harvard dropout and presently
a patron saint of PC gaming. Allegedly inspired by another
Microsoft employee named Michael Abrash, who helped id Software
develop the Quake engine, listen, I think Gaben may be
the only person who can defeat engineering elemental
and luddite nemesis John Carmack. Gabe Newell partnered with other future
ex-Microsoft employee Mike Harrington and founded a little company
you may have heard of called Valve. Valve's first game was Half-Life. I think I once said in one of those old videos that may
or may not share the current timeline, I don't know, that Doom was the Citizen Kane
of video games, a claim I would like to walk back
if I ever made it in the first place. Doom is more like the technical cinematic
breakthroughs of the 1910s, like Birth of a Nation. except instead of all the... Oh no... Instead of all that,
it's wholesome demon-fighting. Half-Life is closer
to the Citizen Kane of gaming. It is a critical mass,
a point of no return. where narrative in video games
was changed forever. Citizen Kane experimented with
telling stories from several perspectives, each one having a different
and possibly unreliable narrator, which would lead to other movies
taking influence, like RashĹŤmon, and if I've bored you with
all this basic film theory bullshit, we can always talk about
how that killed Doom-likes for about 20 years. I held a grudge against Half-Life
for a long time because it did that. Half-Life isn't a bad game,
it's pretty good actually, and it has really cool inventive set-pieces
that blew everyone away at the time and a lot of the stuff holds up. But I know what you guys want,
you want that "Pro Half-Life". So here, we're playing the Steam version,
not Half-Life: Source. No… We're not doing that… This is just plain old Half-Life, similar
to the version I would have played back in like 1999, except in a decent resolution. And it's hard to explain what seeing this
for the first time was like. Imagine how an FPS game starts, right? Doom. Duke Nukem 3D. [DUKE NUKEM]
Let's rock! Damn, those alien bastards
are gonna pay for shooting up my ride. [CIVVIE]
Quake. Quake 2. There's death or an explosion
within the first minute. Not here.
We have credits. A train ride that seems to go on forever,
which may seem boring now but all of this shit happening,
all this world-building, there's a robot here carrying boxes,
there's guys running around, the sun is peeking
through the rocks. That motherfucker who hid all those revenants
in Plutonia worked on this. What Half-Life had wasn't so much a game director,
it was something they called... THE CABAL. *festival of cultists from Blood* Barney - yes, BARNEY! -
is locked out. No one had done this
and even if they had, it certainly wasn't an unbroken
first person narrative and- Oh shit, who's that guy in the suit? We didn't know.
We kept seeing him and we had no idea. This was another day on the job for
Gordon Freeman, MIT Graduate, Lab Assistant, "Disaster Response: Discretionary" I always liked that touch because
of what was coming next. [FEMALE ANNOUNCER]
Thank you, and have a very safe
and productive day. [GUARD]
Morning, Mr. Freeman.
Looks like you're running late. [CIVVIE]
Oh god, that's HD Barney, hold on... We're turning the HD models
that came with Blue Shift off! Oh... Hello Randy!… Perhaps another time your grease
will seep into this show, but not today. Phew, that's better. [H4MMER]
Play the Hazard Course, Civvie! [CIVVIE]
Why?… [FEMALE HOLOGRAM]
Hello and welcome
to the Black Mesa Hazard Course. Where you'll be trained in the use
of the hazardous environment suit. [CIVVIE]
Fine, here's the Hazard Course,
it teaches you how to crouch-jump… Crouch-jumping is important… I don't know how someone would do this
in real life but it's important to know for Half-Life… And only Half-Life
and Postal, I guess… [FEMALE HOLOGRAM]
Lead the security guard
into the next room. He will let you back
into the transit system. [CIVVIE]
Oh no, the security guard
mysteriously died, I guess I have to play
the game untrained now. *Super Mario Bros. 3
Sky Land theme plays* [GUARD]
Hey, Mr. Freeman. [CIVVIE]
Uh, excuse me I'm a Doctor. [GUARD]
My god!
What are you doing?! Come on, Gordon,
you trying to get me into trouble? [CIVVIE]
You have no idea. Oh, man, if you're the Barney that lives through this,
we're gonna have some laughs later on. I'm playing this on Hard,
which people warned me about, and in retrospect,
I understand why they warned me, the enemies are a bit spongy but I've played a decent amount
of Sven-Coop so I'm used to that. And also, I've played
Half-Life for 20 years. I know this game almost like
the back of my hand. I can list the chapter names in order from memory
and not just because I've played it so many times, but because something memorable
happens in each one. [SCIENTIST]
Weren't you supposed to be
in the test chamber half an hour ago? [CIVVIE]
Yeah. I know I'm delaying the near-apocalypse
and invasion of a totalitarian alien race, that second part we didn't even
know about until six years later. Oh, man, the memories. Grab your suit, listen to that music,
go into your locker for a little HEV suit power. And on Hard, I mean "a little". And look, there's one
of Mark Laidlaw's books. that guy who wrote
this series before they… Oh god, don't even get me
started on where shit went, I'd have to get into Half-Life: Alyx
and we do not have that kind of time. [DEMON]
Time, Civvie? [CIVVIE]
What? I.... no not now... [DEMON]
Sleep. [DEMON]
Have you ever wanted to share
a house with your favorite YouTuber? Get to know them inside and out?
Their dirty little secrets, their weird sex things? Well, you won't have to worry about that
any more when you sign up to Civvie's- I mean, MY OnlyFans! Now with private blog,
you'll get to know me inside and out. What did I have for breakfast? Do I take my coffee with a shot
of espresso and then amphetamines? Do I have Funko Pop vinyls
stuffed into my underwear? It turns out,
I'm just like you! Let's have the beer! [CIVVIE]
Sometimes I get this feeling
that half the time I'm not here. My stuff gets moved.
The bucket's full again and I didn't do that. I know what's wrong
and none of you are doing anything about it! You guys remember when Duke Nukem Forever
tried this whole "long intro to set the scene" thing... and it sucked?! So you know you're running around,
you destroy this poor bastard's lunch. [SCIENTIST]
My god! What are you doing? You fuck with the soda machines, the thing about Half-Life's design, is that it takes as much from Quake
as it does from Duke Nukem 3D, it's a bit more grown up though. Instead of giving money to strippers and
prostitutes, you're interacting with boring stuff. But it's still interaction. [BILL GATES]
These games are
getting really realistic. [CIVVIE]
And that's something
that Quake didn't really do. It's a little disingenuous to say that GoldSource,
the engine powering Half-Life, is just Quake because it goes far beyond. So far beyond that these little loading screens
that show up instead of end-level stats to make a seamless
transition between areas, these loading screens were a necessity because while Quake
could have these giant-ass castles, Half-Life wasn't just brushwork, it was models, interactive elements,
NPCs, scripting, moving parts. So they had all of
this stuff done in 1997 and they wanted to release
this game to compete with Quake 2, but then, they threw everything out. *royalty-free music plays* Oh, this is so raw, it's not even funny,
it feels just like Quake. *royalty-free music continues* Look at the ass
on that headcrab! *royalty-free music continues* Oh, it's an instant kill, cool. *royalty-free music continues* Okay, that checks out. *royalty-free music continues* Yeah, I can see
why they threw this away. So, the thing about learning
the wrong lessons from Half-Life... Linear games made up of set-pieces are not, themselves, bad. Half-Life is dropping you into the shoes of Gordon
Freeman as he goes about his normal day at work. Duke Nukem Forever is a sequel to a game
about killing aliens in the first two minutes. And it spends
half an hour pissing around. Yeah, okay, there's a Cycloid Emperor
fight first, but that sucks, it's barely a fight. Oh, forget it,
I don't care anymore… [CONTROL ROOM SCIENTIST]
They're waiting for you, Gordon,
in the test chamber. [DOOR SCIENTIST 1]
I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from
standard analysis procedures today, Gordon. [DOOR SCIENTIST 2]
Yes, but with good reason. This is a rare opportunity for us.
This is the purest sample we've seen yet. [DOOR SCIENTIST 1]
And, potentially, the most unstable. [DOOR SCIENTIST 2]
Now, now, if you follow standard
insertion procedure, everything will be fine. [CIVVIE]
Why does Einstein here
look like he's had a stroke? Oh, god, we used to call him Einstein
before he became Dr. Coomer. Not that I'm complaining,
it was earned. [DOOR SCIENTIST 1]
I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit that the possibility
of a resonance cascade scenario is extremely unlikely. [DOOR SCIENTIST 2]
Gordon doesn't need to hear all this,
he's a highly trained professional. [GUARD]
My god!
What are you doing?! [DOOR SCIENTIST 1]
Gordon, we have
complete confidence in you. [DOOR SCIENTIST 2]
Well, go ahead.
Let's let him in now. [CONTROL ROOM SCIENTIST 1]
Stage 2 emitters activating...now. [CONTROL ROOM SCIENTIST 2]
Gordon, we cannot predict how long
the system can operate at this level, nor how long the readings will take. Please, work as quickly as you can. Standard insertion
for a non-standard specimen. Go ahead, Gordon,
slop the carrier into the analysis port. [CIVVIE]
Hey, you sure you want me to do this? You know, I used to push shopping carts at a grocery
store and I didn't have to go to MIT to do that shit. [CONTROL ROOM SCIENTIST 1]
Gordon, get away from the- Shutting down-no, attempted shutdown.
It's not-it's not, it's not shutting down! It's- It's not- [CIVVIE]
Oh, look, everything is...
Yeah, this was mind-blowing in 1998, okay? This changed EVERYTHING. *Adrenaline Horror plays* *door jammed sound* *retinal scanner makes sounds* [RETINAL SCANNER]
Unauthorized personnel. [CIVVIE]
Everybody's dead. And it's at this point that I really need to express
that a game about a science experiment going wrong with monsters being teleported in
is not exactly new... But no one had told it like this. You're in the dark for another couple
of levels, just trying to survive. This was like a new feeling,
a new emotion introduced into FPS games and games in general,
I can't undersell it. And I'm not sure anyone
has captured it again. Not even Valve. [SCIENTIST]
Hello. [CIVVIE]
All right, you two,
come with me, I know the way. Actually, I don't need to know the way,
it's pretty hard to get lost in this game, it's basically a straight shot
to the Lambda labs. First thing you should do is go back to the locker room
and get that HEV suit charge again and the ammo in this locker
for the pistol you picked up when this guy died cause you're playing on Hard
and the headcrab zombies fucking hurt now. [GUARD]
Gordon!
Man, what the hell are these things? And why are they wearing
science team uniforms? [CIVVIE]
You can save ammo
cause they telegraph their attacks but you don't have to feel bad
about killing Barney, not that I ever did. Oh, here's Dario Casali's locker,
I wonder what's in here- OH GOD! The game quickly
teaches you how to play it you have to shoot things,
you have to break things with the crowbar, scientists are gonna die
no matter what you do, usually because of
unsafe elevator design, which is why we spend so much time
traveling into vents, I assume. *elevator blows up* *scientists scream* *elevator crashes* The other scientists will be glad
to help you along the way. [SCIENTIST]
I'm sure the rest of the science
team will gladly help you. [HIDDEN SCIENTIST]
I'm going to stay here
and wait for my colleagues. You're going to have
to leave me here, Gordon. [CIVVIE]
I'm not saying the scientists
are more of a burden than anything… but there are two Half-Life mods I can list off the top
of my head that's about remorselessly murdering them. Early on, after you face
your first houndeyes, yeah, these things, they're weak,
don't even worry about them, anyway you go up here- *explosion* And this guy will let you into an armory
where you'll get your first grenades, one grenade is actually 5 grenades, which I assume
is some kind of Russian nesting doll situation, but they give you 15
and you max out at 10. So yeah, I guess
I have to try them out. That guy wasn't going
to climb down a ladder. So many set-pieces,
so many memorable moments, some of them I just hate, like this elevator where
it keeps spawning headcrabs. We'll just duck
this shit and move on. The first level introduces you to
a few of Half-Life's legendary monsters, and some of them make it through
into Half-Life 2 and beyond. Headcrabs, naturally, headcrab zombies
and houndeyes we've already seen. And now we've got the bullsquids, and while
they're tanky on Hard, it's easy to avoid their attacks. and when you get down here the game purposefully
shows off one of its fun little tricks with the AI. The bullsquids hate headcrabs too! Oh, and barnacles,
let's not forget barnacles. 🥱 Is that all you've got? And the first sewer of the game. *ding* Vortigaunts! That's right, before they were
your friends with the angelic voice of Tony Todd, they were nasty
little shambler wannabees. Yes, they are shamblers, shut the fuck up!
They are 100% shamblers except weaker. Lightning attack? Check.
Melee attack? Check. So maybe shaved shamblers. Yeah. that's it!
Shamblers are furry, god damn it ! I will die on this hill! Platforming! We all love it,
especially in first person on a janky- Oh, yeah, don't tell me Half-Life 1 isn't janky,
we'll see more of it going forward. I've done this crate thing so many times,
you know you can just walk over most of these? *Space Ocean plays* Office Complex is... well you have the shotgun here,
if you're really looking for it, and you get an obscene amount
of ammo for it if you save Barney. [GUARD]
That will look nice
in my trophy room. It's a good shotgun,
it's not Doom-good but it's good enough. It sounds nice and
it reliably murders things. The scientists are still hopeless. [SCIENTIST]
I just overheard a secure access transmission.
Soldiers have arrived, and they're coming to rescue us. Of course, I have my doubts that
we'll live long enough to greet them. [CIVVIE]
Is this how Cassandra felt?
Knowing that all these motherfuckers are doomed? And that they'd be ruled over
by the Combine and some absolute prick manager
who presided over Black Mesa during this shit? and failed upwards to running City 17? I remember when Half-Life came out,
and there were ads for it in gaming magazines "Run, think, shoot, live!" I mean the AI at the time was impressive,
unless it was scripted. Now, from a gameplay perspective, it's awesome
that the designers let you know there was a turret there. Still, these goddamned
scientists are useless. [SCIENTIST]
Freeman, I see you- *vortigaunt kills scientist* Hell yeah, brother,
this is my favorite part of this level. Good thing the Vortigaunts
are a forgiving bunch. [G-MAN FROM HL2-EPI2]
Their only experience of humanity was
a crowbar coming at them down a steel corridor. [CIVVIE]
You doomed the planet
for reasons I can't understand, you fucking Jeffrey Combs looking
interdimensional slicked-back oily hard-on. Reloading was such
a novelty at the time. Games did it occasionally, but not
for every single gun unless you are Marathon! Half-Life's weapons
aren't the star of the show, and I'd argue there's probably
too many of them that are novelty weapons. We'll get to it when we get the Hivehand,
the snarks, you know… Oh, by the way, spoilers for Half-Life
if you haven't played Half-Life. I assumed that's why all of you
wanted a Half-Life video, right? You needed me to tell you
if this 22-year-old game was any good, right? [SCIENTIST]
Ah, it's good to see you. [CIVVIE]
Haha, yes!
It's always funny! I gotta ride this here meat-wagon
and get into a vent. Oh, wait a second, this guy, this fucking headcrab
right here always used to get me. "Hey Civvie, did you know about that secret way
through the vents in Office Complex" "for you can get to that room
with all the ammo?" [SCIENTIST]
For god's sake, open the silo doors!
They're coming for us, it's our only way out! Oh my god, we're doomed! *Nuclear Mission Jam plays* Oh, boy, I hope you were all enjoying Half-Life because
it's time for the game to bring the hammer down. Everything up until now was nothing
compared to what comes next. So, the scientists have heard some whispers
about soldiers who have come to rescue everyone, you know, after settings fucking traps
with trip wires and gun turrets and really, REALLY inconvenient
monster teleports that can fuck right off. We gotta talk about the apex predators
of Half-Life, where all that fancy AI went, The Hazardous Environment
Combat Unit, the grunts. [SOLDIER ON SPEAKER]
Bravo force, report. [SCIENTIST]
Rescue at last, thank god! [CIVVIE]
They're not all so easy. See, he was supposed to shoot this scientist
in order to show the player that they're... hostile... Now, don't think
I can't deal with them, I mean come on, I've been playing this game
forever so let's humiliate these pricks. *Diabolical Adrenaline Guitar plays* Look, Adrian ropes! You can use those
to get your brains eaten. *Diabolical Adrenaline Guitar continues* *Diabolical Adrenaline Guitar continues in slow-mo* *Diabolical Adrenaline Guitar continues* Okay, there's always this part. And then the one right after
when they rope down from the Osprey? Oh, fuck that so hard. Right after that is one of the level design
decisions I actually hate in this game, which is these vents
that go practically nowhere, above this fan that will
insta-kill you if you touch it, and if you have to ride
the ladder just right to avoid it… Why would they even drop down in here?
What's the point? Drop a bomb down here or something,
call in an air strike! There vents lead you to some supplies
and it wraps around to earlier parts of the map, which is cool I guess, but
the whole vent thing is so slow. [SCIENTIST]
Well, so much for the government. Their idea of containment is to kill
every one associated with the project. [CIVVIE]
Yeah, I mean… Yeah. [SCIENTIST]
Now look, if anyone
can end this catastrophe, it's the science team in the Lamba Complex
at the opposite end of the base. With the transit system out,
I couldn't tell you how to get there, but there's an old decommissioned rail system
somewhere through here beyond the silo complex. [CIVVIE]
Cool, no,
that's fine, I wasn't busy. Just let me fucking run
all the way across this base that's infested with invading aliens
and bloodthirsty jarheads while I'm wearing a color
that's meant to be easily seen and identified. Why not just paint a target on me
and be done with it? [SCIENTIST]
If you can make it
through the rocket test labs, you might be able to worm
your way through the old tunnels to track down whatever is left
of the Lambda team. [CIVVIE]
Oh, yeah, okay, sure.
What could possibly go wrong? *tentacle monster hitting against metal* *Scared Confused Short plays* *tentacle monster hitting against metal* That's terrible advice.
Dogshit. Awful. Because you only have to be
relatively quieter than an explosive. So, we nade around the ladders
and the doorways to clear the path, go through our second sewer, *ding*
go through our second sewer, ride the giant fan,
pump in the fuel and the oxygen, drop down again,
run off over here, foolishly believe that an elevator
in Black Mesa is going to work and not kill you… *elevator stops* …deal with whatever this shit is. [SCIENTIST]
This is my hiding spot and I'm not leaving
until the situation has drastically improved. [CIVVIE]
🤣 Yeah? I got some bad news, the situation
isn't going to drastically improve for like 25 years. Jump through electrified water
cause I ain't pushing those boxes around. Fuck you, Valve! [DUKE NUKEM FOREVER]
I hate valve puzzles! Slip by the tentacles like
I've done it a million times before. Hi Barney,
bye Barney. I'm gonna assume
you put this barnacle here so you can have fun getting cooked next
to this really unfortunately placed crate of explosives. And voila, hentai averted! *blast pit fires;
tentacle monster screams to death* Now, normally I'd be pissed to have to go through
all that but the game rewards you with its best weapon. Don't come at me with "what about the Tau Cannon"
or "Bustin' makes me feel good!" No, this magnum is a godsend. Half-Life isn't known for great weapons but this sniper-
handcannon is the most valuable thing in the game. Headshotting grunts, picking off
most things with a couple well-placed shots. That weird fucking barrel
that they made for it because it didn't look right from the angle
they made it but it still always looked weird to me. Katie, drop a Beetlejuice,
please and thank you! *honk honk* Yeah, you guys got this, have fun! *Bass String plays* If you enjoyed that last level where you had
to run around a bunch of different areas hitting switches so you can kill
a giant boss that's immune to gunfire, get ready to do that again, always thought placing Power Up here was weird like
it seems like you're just doing the same thing again but like… the Gargantua isn't immune to explosives
or the Tau Cannon or the Gluon Gun. But we don't have those yet, so we gotta lead him
to this generator room and zap him into guacamole. Or else he burns you the fuck down. The Gargantua isn't the problem though,
cause the grunts are back, did you miss them? Cause I didn't! Now I've got grenades for the SMG
and satchel charges and the magnum. Having these things now
makes you appreciate them more, which is a little thing
I like to call Valve Blue-Balling. Valve wants you
to appreciate these things, which is why they don't give them to you
as soon as you need them, they make you wait. We'll come back to this, this is a major feature
of Valve games, or at least Half-Life games, remember how much time you spent in Half-Life 2
without a shotgun, do you fucking remember? [FATHER GRIGORI]
Here, brother!
Come closer! You have stirred up hell!
A man after my own heart! Here I have a more suitable gun for you.
You will need it. Catch! Good, now keep it close. My advice to you is :
aim for the head. [CIVVIE]
Okay so, a basement has to get un-flooded
and the military is protecting it, for some reason… They're dug in like an Alabama tick! I know their fucking tricks,
I can hear 'em coming down the elevator. *Mall of the Dead music from Blood plays* [BILL GATES]
These games are
getting really realistic. *Mall of the Dead music from Blood continues* [CIVVIE]
What was I doing? Oh, yeah! Hey, get over here! Am I the only one
who's read the goddamned script? [GUARD]
Freeman,
I've been waiting for you. One of your scientist pals
said to give you a message. You're supposed to take this old rail system
up to some kind of satellite delivery rocket. [CIVVIE]
Oh, here we fuckin' go. [GUARD]
He said something about
a Lambda team needing the satellite in orbit if they were ever gonna
clean up this mess. [CIVVIE]
I love that line because
they DO NOT clean up this mess. *Sirens In The Distance plays* Welcome to On A Rail,
the first of Half-Life's bad chapters. Fuck On A Rail. Even if the phrase itself, "on a rail", is reminiscent
of "running someone out of town on a rail", the idea is that you, the player, is in a situation
that pushes you in a very specific direction, one-way! And there's a quote from Max Payne 2
that always summed this up for me really well. [MAX PAYNE]
A funhouse is a linear
sequence of scares. Take it or leave it is
the only choice given. Makes you think about free will. [CIVVIE]
On A Rail is a bad level
but a good metaphor. See, in Half-Life, you get the sense that
there's someone behind the scenes pulling the strings, making sure you are led by the nose
to a pre-determined outcome. Remember when I said that game developers,
after Half-Life, took the wrong lessons from Half-Life? The game's linearity isn't just
something they threw together, it's calculated,
it's actually thematically relevant! Imagine that! See what happens
when you hire writers?! Nah, but On A Rail still sucks. Stuck on this train, ambushed at every turn,
it does show off the AI fighting each other, HECU vs. Aliens, that's cool. Maybe I'm jaded from
playing Half-Life so much, like I know when something shitty is coming
so it ruins everything leading up to it. Oh, there's turrets, surprise! This dick has a rocket launcher,
duck under it, the train is made of brushes
so it's rocket-proof. Sometimes I'm not even sure
what the damage is doing on Hard, but if more than one Vort is blasting,
you might as well call it a death. And then there's
cool moments like this, where you see a trap they planted
and one stray bullet fucks them over. [QUIET SOLDIER]
Squad, quiet down. [CIVVIE]
So much of this level is stop and go,
trap after trap after trap. Like I understand what a combat puzzle is
but this whole section feels like it lasts forever until… [SOLDIER 1]
So, who is this guy, Freeman? [SOLDIER 2]
They say he was at ground zero. [SOLDIER 1]
Science team? You think he was responsible?
Sabotage, maybe? [SOLDIER 2]
Yeah, maybe. All I know for sure is
he's been killing my buddies. [SOLDIER 1]
Oh yeah, he'll pay. [CIVVIE]
Oh, yeah, he'll pay. And whoever put this sniper in here,
fuck you. Fuck. You. Fucking Cabal. It sucks because usually,
when not playing on Hard, one explosive gets the job done, but they have just that much
more health so that it doesn't. Okay, launch a rocket, we're good. And everything is gonna be fixed and I'm sure
that nothing of consequence will happen in the next… more than half of this game… *scientist screams* *Military Precision plays* This section picks right back up! Cause the designers were so sick of being
on a train that it crashes, into the water, yes, this is the water level. [SCIENTIST]
Did you see it? They said it was hauled
from the Challenger deep, but I'm positive that beast never swam
in terrestrial waters until a week ago. [CIVVIE]
Whatever, to fight this thing, you need
to grab the Crossbow, the game's sniper rifle, and one of the three weapons
that does a goddamn thing underwater. Why does the pistol work underwater? Why?… After the underwater shenanegans,
and then more of those, with slippery water shit and… Whatever, the game expects me
to jump through these crushers which absolutely belong here and have a purpose
but I'm gonna solve this with science. Thankfully, Apprehension introduces
more new things to Half-Life, unlike On A Rail, but I guess a bad Half-Life level
was new at the time… [GUARD]
Freeman, right?
I've got a message for you. Make sure you don't- *guard dies* [CIVVIE]
Here's the Assassins, who are like
HECU grunts except motherfucking ninjas! Think I'm scared of them? Uh-uh. They're getting nades
to the semi-invisible face. Yeah, on hard, they go invisible
sometimes it's... just mean!… Thankfully you can always hear them
moving, or shooting you. Sorry, ladies. And then, after you've, you know, survived in this game
for a few hours against insurmountable odds, the lights go out after
some evil level designer teases you with a health station
that I didn't even need. And I get sucker punched
and thrown into a trash compactor. [SOLDIER 1]
Get him! Hahaha... nice hit. [SOLDIER 2]
Where are we taking
this Freeman guy? [SOLDIER 1]
Topside for questioning. [SOLDIER 2]
What the hell for? We got him. Let's kill him now. [SOLDIER 1]
Uh... and if they find the body? [SOLDIER 2]
Body? What body? *both laugh* [CIVVIE]
You guys should have put a bullet
in Freeman's head first, right? Duh. But no, they don't, so you survive,
escape the compactor, and we're right back
into a bad Half-Life level. *Nepal Monastery plays* Residue Processing.
The worst Half-Life level that isn't- So all your weapons are gone,
and you're dumped out into the desert with a crowbar and inconveniently
spawning headcrabs. You get to do a bunch
of shitty platforming. Hey look I can tell this pipe is going
to break 'cause of the z-fighting. Yeah, good job. Residue Processing is one big sewer and I don't care what anyone says
SEWER COUNT : 173 say this part from the script,
say 'Sewer count' funny joke honk honk I have played Half-Life all the way through
approximately 900 times, and I'll never know where the fuck
I'm supposed to go on these conveyor belts. Not exactly, I just remember
that I'm looking for a trip-bomb. And that I have to BURN! And then, if you fall off because your momentum
is all fucked up from being on conveyor belts because that's how
that fucking works! Wait, heat lamps!
I get it now! This IS a Wendy's! *alarm is on;
laser is charging* *alarm is off;
laser is on* *Drums & Riffs plays* Oh, cool, it's that level
where it turns out that Black Mesa has been experimenting on these
alien creatures already because surprise, the teleporter experiments that aren't
really directly related to the resonance cascade… "Hey look, other aliens that are clearly hostile
and turn people into zombies, let's bring those back!" Who was fucking
funding this place, Congress?! Nah, this level's good,
cause you get the Tau Cannon, you know after fighting a bunch
of soldiers, and the Alien Grunts, not to be confused
with the other grunts, who have armor that will basically
ignore small arms damage, and their dumb bullshit
homing bees attack! I don't even like the Hivehand
when I get it, same with Snarks. What opens up here though, you get more of
that three-way battle : you vs. aliens vs. the military. Right, I was talking
about the Tau Cannon. Which has the best introduction
of any weapon in this game. [GUARD]
What is this thing?
Is it some kinda weapon? [SCIENTIST]
Put that down, it's a prototype... *accidental shot* [GUARD]
Man, why aren't we using it? [SCIENTIST]
It's much too unpredictable.
Don't let it overcharge! [GUARD]
What do you mean over- *Tau Cannon overcharges;
both go boom* [CIVVIE]
You can overload the thing
with the secondary fire so don't do that. And before I even get a chance
to do some fancy jumps with it… Oh, god, that's right,
it's only in multiplayer now!… That's… bullshit!…
Thanks, Gabe! [SCIENTIST 1]
We all have retinal scanner access. Escort us to the lobby,
and we can get out of the lab. [SCIENTIST 2]
You'll have to shut down
the surgical unit first. Peters switched it on but I'm afraid
he never made it back. [CIVVIE]
"Oh, Civvie, no, don't go in there and get killed in a funny way-" Not a chance! *royalty-free music plays* [SCIENTIST]
Well, I'll let you out,
but I'm warning you, it's hell out there. [CIVVIE]
Oh yeah! Yeah, it is! *Nuclear Mission Jam plays* Welcome to hell.
This is it. The most brutal, most difficult section of Half-Life,
the pinnacle of Valve grinding you into the dirt. This is THAT level. One ball-busting
set-piece after another. That scientist said you're supposed
to get to the Lambda Complex but that's secondary when you're talking
about this level's objective. What it's really about
is getting a rocket launcher and this is where Valve's
Blue-Balling really comes into play. You spend half of this nightmare
getting chased by a helicopter, which I think you can shoot down
if you have enough Tau Cannon ammo, which I didn't save because
I needed to gib some soldiers. As soon as you get to the dam,
you know, the third room of this gauntlet, there's the helicopter
ready to shred you. Jump off the dam over here to be greeted
by the overly-tanky-on-Hard ichtyosaur in the water, and if you surface, you die,
and if you stay under there, you die. It takes 3 to 4 hits from the crossbow on Normal
to kill one of these things and I think 5 on Hard, so if you miss once, you have to go through
the slowest reload of any weapon in the game, or switch to the pistol
and try your luck. I hate it. Climb the ladder
so you can get SOME health back. turn off the turbines
so you can go under the dam where it makes you sit there
and turn this wheel and fucking drown! And once you're through that,
you've still got a minefield to navigate. You guys could probably air strike
that away but noooooooo!… No, that's a lower priority than
the MIT graduate. The man is a Theoretical Physicist! This is that one level where
every part gives you trouble, burns its way into your brain. After the minefield
is the cliff section, narrow ledges,
forced falling damage, inconveniently placed
soldiers you have to snipe. On any skill, Surface Tension
is a giant pain in the ass. But at least, at the end of this section,
you can finally blow up that helicopter. Oh, who put this turret here? Was it you, Casali?! But imagine playing this in 1998,
because I remember what it was like. In a genre where rocket launchers
were pretty straightforward, having a laser guided missile
was kind of a novelty. And the first time you try it,
you'll have no idea how this thing is gonna work, but you better find out quick
because that helicopter ain't going away. Oh, but that helicopter
isn't even the worst part, no! It's the ladders. Now, ladders are
a bit finicky in GoldSource, notoriously so, in fact. So having only a tiny little bit
of space to get on one SUCKS. And then there's another one
above it with even less space… And if you finally reach the pipe- Oh, son of a bitch! And once you're through with that,
no more helicopters. No, they roll the tanks in. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU FUCK YOU! It's not as elegant as
Modern Major General but it'll have to do. I admire Surface Tension, in a way, because most of the level
is things just getting worse and worse. I don't think it gets worse
than the warehouse though. This is Half-Life so you will
never get in through the front door. There must be something awfully important in there
for them to secure the perimeter with mines, and snipers, and some generator
that's electrifying all the stuff around it because despite your punny science titles,
Half-Life, shit don't be like that. [SCIENTIST]
You're heading for
the Lambda Complex, aren't you? I was heading there myself until I wound up here,
and, well, simply lost my nerve. Take one look through that door
and you'll see what I mean. [CIVVIE]
How bad could it be? I'm not even mad that the warehouse is booby-trapped
so thoroughly that one misstep causes it to explode. I was really mad about it
20 years ago. Okay, go in, kill the headcrabs
before they trigger one of the trip mines, break this one box because if you raise
this elevator, the box sets off a trip mine, remember crouch-jumping
is your friend, raise the elevator,
jump onto the other elevator and then leave this cursed place! *button does not work* *button does not work* Oh… You son of a bitch… Oh look, the Hivehand… Hello and goodbye. Save Barney, why not?
He helps a little. [GUARD]
Did you see that shot? [CIVVIE]
I saw the shot I made
with the weapon that isn't useless. I know there's a turret in this truck. Black Mesa is a full-on war zone now. This part with the alien ship dropping grunts,
only to get air-striked, and then another tank?! I have to say this again :
in 1998, nobody was prepared for this. I don't care if you drove a tank in GoldenEye,
nothing had come out that was like a blockbuster. Every step in this level
requires you to be paranoid. The tank is dead
but there's a sniper. The sniper is dead
but there are grunts inside. And you just walk up
to Barney and he's like : [GUARD]
Hey Gordon. Let's get the hell outta here. [CIVVIE]
Yeah, great, Barney,
open the fucking armory. *Beethoven's Ode To Joy plays* I don't know why there's ammo
for experimental energy weapons in here but okay. Let's not forget
to top off those missiles. Starting with Half-Life, there was the distinct sense that
you needed to take everything you could in this area because you weren't ever
gonna come back here. Okay, I know how this goes… Nope! In all this commotion, you might not have noticed
that Surface Tension is still going on! And it keeps going
and going and going… Oh, yeah, I'm gonna do it this time! This motherfucker isn't gonna get away
with his satchel chucking nonsense today! [SOLDIER]
Lookout post, all quiet, over. Fuck you and
your scripting, Half-Life. Finally, we get to the last
of the Surface Tension set-pieces, this is why Half-Life
is so well remembered. Hold on I uh… [DEMON]
Heck yeah, dungeoneers,
we're playing Half-Life, the best game ever! And if this video gets 100,000 likes,
I'll release the Half-Life 2 video on Friday! [CIVVIE]
No, Katie don't let it say that! Don't let him do this
to the kids, Katie! [DEMON]
DO IT, KATIE. [CIVVIE]
He's gonna ruin us, Katie! [DEMON]
LINK THE ONLYFANS, KATIE. [CIVVIE]
Stop! [DEMON]
WE'RE UNDER NEW MEXICO,
COME AND SEE US, KIDDOS, WE'LL HANG OUT
AND DEATHMATCH! [ROSS SCOTT]
You know, I think we've seen
a drop of clowns in games. People just can't handle them. [CIVVIE]
Oh my god! It's Killing Time
from Studio 3DO! So, you could probably down
this gargantua with the rocket launcher or other explosives or even the Tau Cannon,
but you're supposed to use the air strike, which is cool and a totally unexpected
kind of environmental interactivity. This is really the level where Valve was throwing
everything at the wall, the real climax of Half-Life. *airstrike* Yup, every time. [SOLDIER ON RADIO]
Forget about Freeman!
We are cutting our losses and pulling out! Anyone left down there now is on his own!
Repeat, if you weren't already, you are now... [CIVVIE]
Forget About Freeman, or "I guess we can't call this
Surface Tension anymore since we went underground". Oh… Oh, right. *ting* Really, there isn't much in this chapter,
you're basically at the lambda lab and- Fuck! That is the shittiest place to put a turret
and I'm blaming Dario Casali. Half-Life is out of tricks. You get more assassins before
going into the Lambda Complex and this encounter is way worse. Not just because I'm at low health, because right
before this, I was dealing with all of the alien grunts and between then and now,
there was one health station and we're on Hard, health stations
give you only 25 health. Yeah, it's not fun. A scientist lets me in, explains I have to start
the reactor on my way up to the teleporter labs, and gives me something for the pain. [SCIENTIST]
I can give you something for the pain. [CIVVIE]
Yeah, scientists can give you
a health boost, worth 25. That's right, a whole health station
packed into one of these little syringes with a strange green liquid that
the scientists carry on them at all times… What is that?! [GLUON SCIENTIST]
I built the Gluon Gun. But I just can't bring myself
to use it on another living creature. [CIVVIE]
Oh no? [GLUON SCIENTIST]
You don't look as if you have
any trouble killing things. [CIVVIE]
I don't have trouble killing things but
I don't wanna waste energy ammo on headcrabs. *Jungle Drums plays* Ugh... just... whoever decided that
the aliens needed to respawn in this level... Go away, forever, lose your job. Assuming you're even employed by Valve,
or that Valve technically employs people. I assume it's like Gabe Newell's Chocolate Factory,
and even then, he can't murder more than two kids! This is what you guys
are here for, right? [SCIENTIST]
We suspect there is
an immense portal over there, created by the intense concentration
of a single powerful being. You will know it when you see it. I hate to say this, Gordon,
but you must kill it if you can. [GUARD]
Yeah, you'd better kill it. [SCIENTIST]
Of course, you owe us nothing,
Mr. Freeman. But you've come this far. You know
as much about these creatures as anyone. [GUARD]
Enough to know that if you don't wipe it out,
there won't be much for you to come home to [SCIENTIST]
Yes. So… [CIVVIE]
And then they tell you that
you gotta go over to the border-world to stop the alien
that's controlling this invasion and that will save earth
and guess what, it fucking doesn't. Because Half-Life 2 happens. I mean, I guess the Earth is intact
and there are still people on it but I feel like the HECU was doing just fine
against most of the invading aliens. [OPPOSING FORCE SOLDIER]
You got to get out of here. Listen to me, Shepard,
those things, they'll kill all of us! [CIVVIE]
Okay, here's the rule : If it makes me look like an idiot,
it's not canon. [SCIENTIST]
Don't linger, Mr. Freeman.
You've turned on the pumps. Now take the access pipe, flood the core
and get on up to the labs without delay. [SARAH CONNOR FROM TERMINATOR 2]
You think you're safe and alive? You're already dead! Everybody!
Him, you, you're dead already! This whole place!
Everything you see is gone! [CIVVIE]
Anyway, you stock up, get your… [SCIENTIST]
This, Mr. Freeman,
is a long jump module, created expressly for navigation
in the world beyond. [CIVVIE]
The world beyond… ha. It makes it sound like heaven. [SCIENTIST]
Hello, Freeman. I'm up here. Practice your long jump
if you must, but hurry up. [CIVVIE]
Fight these Alien Controllers,
another enemy made way too tanky on Hard, so that the challenge isn't
the shitty homing projectiles, it's dumping most of a cylinder of magnum ammo
into their brain to take them down. I feel like the Tau Cannon is a better and more efficient
method of dealing with them than the Gluon Gun. I know what you want,
you want that "Freeman, you fool!" [SCIENTIST]
Freeman, you fool! [CIVVIE]
And I was gonna do that
until the scientist got killed. I didn't even realize
he could get killed, see, I've never felt the need
to play this game on Hard. So he's never died on me. I have to go through all of this trouble.
All of this bullshit. To get to Xen… Now, I bitch and moan
about some things in Half-Life, a ton of stuff in it
hasn't aged too well, like the engine, the AI, the models,
the sounds, the shitty platforming, but at its core,
it's still an amazing game! A groundbreaking moment
in the history of interactive entertainment. And my petty complaints are nothing
compared to its impact on the industry. So, when I say that Xen is bad,
and rushed, and not even remotely fun, I don't do it just because
I personally hate Xen, I DO hate Xen but in my defense,
it is an affront to human decency. *Fish Polka from ROTT plays* But... why?
Why is Xen so bad? It's not just the platforming,
that's awful, sure, it's also the gravity change,
the slower falling but still killer fall damage, the waiting for the moving platforms,
the waiting for your health to recharge in health pools, the fucking endless WAITING! The game's forward
momentum DIES in Xen. When your game is linear,
when your levels are going in one direction, forward momentum
isn't ALL that you have? If that's gone, your expertly connected set-pieces
that escalate further and further mean nothing! A giant testicle monster?
Sure, why not- Are you fucking kidding?! It's multi-stage, it feels like
it goes on... FOREVER... Why? I know you guys had some weird shit
planned with Mister Friendly, but did you honestly never thing
"maybe we should cut the testicle monster"? No? This is where the headcrabs came from,
it's important to the LORE. Interloper breaks me. Interloper is the worst
chapter of Half-Life. It makes Residue Processing
look like fucking free Wifi with tits. You will be asking yourself
during Interloper, "is this over"? And the answer is no.
It's never over. You're still playing Interloper right now.
I'm still playing Interloper. We're all stuck here forever! Every bad thing that happened
in 2020 was because of Interloper. because someone thought,
"Oh, I'll make these elevators spin!" "And put some vortigaunts that attack you
in here and some that don't!" And the mysterious barrels have alien grunts
in them FOR SOME REASON! You wanna know what a dead stop
looks like in Half-Life? It's this fucking hallway in Interloper. *royalty-free music plays* [NIHILANTH]
Freeman… …alone…
…not you alone… not you alone… [CIVVIE]
The Nihilanth is saying stuff to you, I sure hope he isn't warning me about
unwillingly doing the G-Man's bidding. Oh, cool, the gravity is all messed up again
and the collision and platforming is still terrible so let's make that the main focus
of the game for the final act. Because after Interloper, this baby-faced bitch
is getting his fucking ticket punched. When the Nihilanth
isn't teleporting you… Ha! I dodged it, you weird fetal representation
of one of the developer's anxieties about fatherhood! You gotta destroy his crystals first,
and go through his teleports, yeah, kill the things on the other side
of those teleports and escape, make sure to always be behind cover when
he attacks because he'll always one hit you, and then… Awesome, cool! [G-MAN]
Gordon Freeman, in the flesh. Or rather, in the hazard suit. I took- [CIVVIE]
Fine, I'll do it again… [G-MAN]
Gordon Freeman, in the flesh. Or rather, in the hazard suit. I took the liberty
of relieving you of your weapons. Most of them were
government property. As for the suit,
I think you've earned it. [CIVVIE]
Oh yeah? Then why do you take it away
from me at the beginning of the next game, huh? [G-MAN]
The border-world, Xen,
is in our control, for the time being, [CIVVIE]
Oh yeah, I'm guessing you'll have this place
on lockdown for I dunno, about seven hours. [G-MAN]
I have recommended
your services to my… employers and they have authorized me
to offer you a job. They agree with me that
you have limitless potential. You've proved yourself a decisive man, so I don't
expect you'll have any trouble deciding what to do. [CIVVIE]
Did I though?
Have I really decided anything? Haven't I just been...
on a rail this whole time? From the start, I've been
following straight lines to get here, following orders,
doing other people's dirty work. At what point have I made a decision?! [G-MAN]
Time to choose. [CIVVIE]
I regret nothing! [G-MAN]
No regrets, Mr. Freeman. *How'd I Do? plays*
Looking forward to see my favourite boomer tuber rip apart xen.
Civvie is criminally underrated, one of the few youtubers i can always go back to rewatch, especially his dusk and amid evil videos.
Good vid as always from Civvie, especially since HL1 was such an important part of my childhood.
Though one thing he always rails on HL1 is it's linearity and while it is more linear than say Doom, Duke, & Quake 1, it still is in the same mold. Like "Oh no this door can't open I have to go to this unrelated path to pull a switch that opens it", in the case of Questionable Ethics it's a three branch system. Blast Pit and Lambda Complex even have a hub with the spokes being sub-levels. Keys are now just "Switchs, Scientists, and water pumps".
HL1 also wasn't the one to set that, it was already the norm with Quake 2 and Unreal 1, both of which preceded HL1 and had the same level of linearity. Doing FPS games 'exacly in the Doom way' kind of had that last shining moment with Blood.
All through Black Mesa, bumping into Ross Scott, but no Cancer Mouse? Disappointing.
Seriously though, with his passion during his rant about Interloper I was really waiting for a “Oh hey Civvie!”
Oh no is this where he shits on Half-Life? I was afraid of this.
Nice references to Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware
Look Adrian, Ropes!
Half Life sure does feel a bit dated now but the entire game is seared in my memory and I've only completed it the once. It's just endless set pieces and changing up the theme, closest I've come to having something be so comprehensively memorable recently is probably Dusk. Even the new Doom games tend to blur a bit in the industrial bits.