r/Maliciouscompliance You Want the Cops? Sure Thing, Criminal!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where Opie gets revenge against his jerky boss our next reddit post is from cat man I left a job I'd been it for over 20 years to work for the town government where I lived I'd been salaried but had burned out and took a job with a lot less stress but also an hourly position I was about six months into the job when I was looking at my hours for the week I was expecting to be into overtime if I stayed until five I was planning to ask if I could leave whenever I hit 40 hours since it would be before 5:00 I realized my hours for the week we're going to be short even if I worked until five after calculating the time I worked each day and comparing it to the payroll software Chronos I talked to my boss and was told that the time clocked rounded to the nearest 15 minutes I was pissed this was never explained to me when I started maybe somehow things went when I started it wasn't surprising for those of you who don't know how this works if you clock in between 753 and 807 the time clock records this is 8 o'clock if you clock in between 808 and 822 the time clock records this is 815 when I did the calculations there's the potential to abuse this to swing your hours worked by two and a half hours every week meaning I could work 37 and a half hours and get paid for 40 or I could work 40 hours and get paid for 37 and a half I looked up federal labor laws and this was absolutely legal fine from then on I never clocked out in the 7 minutes passed every 15 minute increment I'd leave for lunch at about 11:50 3:00 every day and get back at 107 the time clock records an hour I get to work at 807 leave at 452 if the time clock said 453 I'd go back and work until 508 I wouldn't have done this if I'd been informed up front obviously I couldn't completely adhere to this schedule but I tried my hardest so the best example of my abuse of the system was that I lived about 15 minutes from work occasionally my kids would lock themselves out of the house they got home around 3:00 p.m. the first time I asked my boss if I could go let them in which seemed stupid that I would need to ask she says to me as I'm walking away make sure to clock out I think it was meant as a joke but obviously I was going to clock out I'm hourly it just rubbed me the wrong way so I got to the time clock clocked out a 308 drove home let my kids in drove back and clocked back in at 3:20 the time clock sees at 3:15 clock out and a 3:15 clock in if she hadn't said anything I wouldn't have rushed home her back and I would have had to make up that time if how the time clock worked had been explained to me when I started I wouldn't have abused it and then down in the comments we had this story from cannot ik or you can do what a friend of my dad did he was the bearded IT guy at a refinery back in the 90s before IT was really a thing he'd go to work check the time and if he was late he just walked straight past the time clock to the master computer room set back the time for all the clocks and computer systems for this thousands of employees refinery so he wasn't late anymore clock in then reset the time to what it should be our next reddit post is from bloody kitten I might as well share something that happened to me I saw a thread overrun legal advice that reminded me about this incident figured it might fit here this happened to me in 2013 I was over 30 had gone back to school and it was Friday before finals week on my last semester to finish my seee degree bordering around campus it's rather low income and not highly educated and not a place I frequented I walked into a gas station let's call it square L around 7:30 a.m. locally that's 30 minutes after they start selling alcohol County is dry between 3:00 a.m. and 7:00 a.m. I grabbed two of the largest packs of cheap beer they sell and head to the register no big deal just stocking up for a small study party with friends on campus later that day the person behind the register heis me suspiciously as I set them on the counter and tells me I'm not buying them I politely explain it's after 7:00 a.m. and I don't see a problem the manager denoted by dress shirt instead of polo leans over and tells her to get my ID so she asked me for it I'm like fine whatever and I figured around a minute before realizing it's in my car I say as much an offer to grab it and she told me to go ahead I dash out to my car and grab my wallet from my book bag no big deal I walked back in and presented to the person at the register who promptly glances at it Snickers snaps in an app tosses it in the trash and tells me to get the F out of her store I stood there a minute sort of dumbfounded the manager tells me to get the F out of her store or police will be called and someone's getting arrested I mumbled something along the lines of oh shoot and opted to comply with the second half I went to my car grabbed my phone called non-emergency and told them I just had my driver's license taken and destroyed I read off the address and did my call then headed back inside and stood the manager tells me that's it they're calling the cops I let her know I already did the clerk laughs and shouts for the people in the store to hear y'all wanna stick around this Punk bling called the cops on us for taking their fake ID it took about ten minutes but they showed up as they arrived the manager rushed out the door and I walked behind the cop asked for me immediately by name dismissing the manager pointing at me and rattling off about my fake ID I told him what happened and that I was told to leave or cops were to be called and someone was gonna be arrested he then takes a statement from the manager then the clerk then requests the ID be retrieved from the trash he looks it over and hands the two pieces back to me he hasn't said anything other than simple requests for info up to this point and then asked me to come along and we're going to have a chat outside at this point I'm actually growing a bit concerned he punches in the driver's license number and up pops my face in info clean history both driving and criminal he then lets me know the destruction of a license is a misdemeanor in this state and asked which one snapped it we have a brief conversation and at this point he's smiling ear-to-ear he asked me if I want to press charges and at this point I've already missed first class so state I do I was told to play along with them and we share course of action by this time there were four squad cars and police milling about customers had grown scarce we walked back in I'm staring at the floor looking pensive and he says loudly what do we say and nudges me I politely say I'm very sorry this happened and I'm sure it won't happen again the clerk and manager begin chuckling I then finished with the manager requested the clerk take it who snapped it then the manager is the one who said someone is getting arrested the officer undid the cuffs from his belt walked up to the clerk and began with Miranda rights another did the same with the manager another 30 minutes roll by while they're sitting in the backs of squad cars the store is devoid of employees until someone walks out from the back cooler I wait patiently eventually they're cut loose under own recognizance and I'm given a date to play witness in court we hit back in and the manager is irate the employee on release bolted I pay for my now warm beer and leave the professor got a great laugh out of the police report and let me do my project presentation late anyway then we have a similar story from kraggen school down in the comments in college a friend and I went to his store he wanted to buy cigarettes the lady kept the ID saying it was fake and saying she would call the cops he told her to do so and she did the cop walks in looks at the ID looks back at her and says why would anyone make a fake ID saying there were 20 instead of 21 our next reddit post is from its crutchy I just signed up for a new AT&T TV subscription less than 13 days ago they had just posted a new update yesterday informing that all new subscribers can get HBO and HBO max for free for a year I call AT&T and start talking to the representative explaining my situation the rep unfortunately tells me that they're not able to add the package as it's only for accounts created after April 3rd I then asked the representative if I'm still in my grace period for a full refund and no termination fee she replies yes so I tell her I would like to cancel my account she replies I'm sorry to hear that why would you like to cancel your account today I reply I just told you but it's the fact that I'm not getting HBO for free she replies I understand let's go ahead and cancel the account he won't be charged a termination fee and will get a full refund of what she paid so far after a few minutes she cancels the account and then I already know where this is going after a few minutes she cancels the account and then asks is there anything else I can help you with today I say yes I would like to set up a new account for AT&T TV she then transfers me to another representative that can assist and I get a new account set up with the HBO and HBO axé free for a year I still have to send the box back with the old account and they sent me a new box for the new accounts I know they have to follow certain steps but wouldn't it have just been easier for them to add the package to the existing account either way it gave me a good chuckle our next reddit post is from some girl after graduating college I worked for about six months as a cashier at a local branch of a chain sandwich shop mostly it was a great job customers were mostly polite my co-workers were friendly and helpful and I genuinely believed in the company's products even my bosses were pretty great except for one we'll call him the jerk the jerk was belligerent vindictive nitpicky and pretty much an awful boss in every way a boss can be awful he had the type of sucky no excuses policy that defined excuse as literally anything besides yes sir of course sir I could go on and on about all the different ways he was terrible but this story is about one specific flavor of his awfulness during our shifts each employee had a certain section of the store they were assigned to keep clean in addition to their duties the cashier section was the front counters and displays in the coffee kiosk I don't know if it was officially the manager's job but as long as I worked there whoever was the shift manager always took care of the outside patio area except for the jerk at first he would just say things to me like I'm pretty busy right now could you clean the patio which was fine part of the job description stated that if you had free time and the manager asked you to do something extra you did it he was well within his rights but one day he suddenly started asking me why I was shirking my duties by not keeping the patio clean after all the patio was part of my section it wasn't and never had been I asked the other cashiers and they all agreed they'd never been told anything about the patio being part of the cashier section I didn't mind helping out with the patio if my other cashier duties were done but it worked me that he had taken something extra I was doing to be helpful and turned it into something that I was neglecting my duties if I didn't do it felt like a bait-and-switch and I felt cheated the bigger problem though was that keeping the patio clean through my entire shift was a he which pain for me as a cashier in the afternoons I was often the only one of the counter and customers would trickle in with a few minutes between each group this meant that I was constantly having to run back and forth between the patio and the register which confused customers and made it hard to get any actual work done on the patio one day when this was particularly bad the jerk came up front and started asking me why I hadn't cleaned the patio I started to explain that I kept having to come back inside to start customers but he caught me off I don't remember his exact words but it was something along the lines of that's no excuse cleaning the patio is your job now go outside and do your job don't come back inside until the patio is clean that last sentence was music to my ears I assured him that of course I would do exactly as he said went outside and started cleaning a few minutes later a family walked past me through their front doors into the store through the large front window I watched them stand confused in front of the register there was no one added to serve them the jerk had gone back into his office to attend to his oh so important manager duties I continued to clean the patio a few minutes later another family came in and joined the first standing confused and now annoyed in front of the counter at this point the jerk must have noticed him on the security camera because he came out of his office and started ringing them up then came another set of customers and another the jerk was at the register so he had to serve them he was now being forced to cover my job because I was too busy doing his I finished cleaning the patio and came inside and the jerk immediately tore into me asking where I'd been why wasn't I at the counter couldn't I see there were customers I put on my most innocent smile but you told me not to come back inside until I finish cleaning the patio I assumed that man you would take care of serving customers since I couldn't possibly be two places at the same time he just glared at me for the longest moment then mumbled something about how I should have known what he meant and I was never to pull a stunt like that again and shuffled back to his not much of a victory in the grand scheme of things but seeing the momentary flash of panic in his eyes as he realized his do as I say no excuses policy had backfired had me giddy for the rest of the day then we have this contribution from 93 thousand down in the comments and anyone who's worked retail will definitely sympathize I used to work at a restaurant in the mall when I was cashier the manager was always telling me to stock up but don't leave the counter the stockroom is in the back you need to stock get things stocked up okay will do don't leave the counter okay then how make a list and ask the kitchen person to get it for you I then make the list and ask the kitchen person the kitchen person has your own work to do you need to do your own or okay and I go to get the items from the back how many times do I have to tell you don't leave the counter I decided f it I just won't get the stock then ten minutes later the manager walks over I thought I told you to stock up our next reddit post is from pinky fits back during the first Gulf War my wife and I were engaged and had a wedding honeymoon cruise to the Caribbean set up all expenses paid food transportation etc on those things they have all-you-can-eat buffets in a nice dining room both of us were active military well the military announces they're sending her over to the Gulf I stayed stateside but had leave canceled they ship out three days before the wedding cruise we were able to reschedule the wedding caterer flowers reception DJ they were all cool so I called the cruise line and asked to reschedule they said no and the tickets were not refundable I tried to explain we were active military going to war nope No Deal I speak to his supervisor nope ask the military to help out No Deal we knew nobody in the area and none of our family could take the cruise we were screwed so we went to nearby San Francisco went to the worst area and found the dirtiest most malnourished homeless to people we could find lice bad smell shopping cart of the whole thing I gave them that it's and told them to eat well the only caveat is I wanted them to send me a postcard so I knew they went I gave them a stamped addressed envelope I got a nice card from Martinique I'll bet the cruise people were bummed that was our sloshed malicious compliance and if you liked this video then let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,039,183

Rating: 4.9431243 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: GT6pCENj3K0

Length: 15min 51sec (951 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 24 2020