r/Maliciouscompliance My Uber Passenger Wouldn't Leave, So I Kidnapped Her!

welcome to our sloshed malicious compliance where Opie kidnaps a woman back when I was in college I lived in a two-bedroom apartment with a nice German student he was a nice guy and he would often have his friends over I didn't mind it at all because I just moved to the area I needed new friends anyways our landlady though she was a nightmare she was this small grumpy lady who would complain over the smallest things she doesn't live with us but tries to control everything the color of our sheets the sin of candles that we light where we put our stuff etc needless to say we hated her we pay for our electricity in water so it doesn't matter if we have our friends and family stay over once in a while because whatever they consume more of will foot the bill ourselves anyways my sister visits me once a month for one night just whenever she's in town one day my landlord found out and got so mad she wanted to call the cops on us for not respecting the rule of guests cannot spend the night at her property the only reason she does this is because she feels if a guest would stay at night they should have to pay the full rent for the month the month but queue malicious compliance when one of my German roommates friends was laid off from his main job he was left homeless with only a grave shift part-time job he asked if he could stay with us for about a week or two I told him I didn't mind but my landlady might mind they told me not to worry and she was fuming when she found out which happened the day after he decided to stay with us because she checks on us unannounced every other day it has security cameras outside our door she threatened to call the cops on us again and all my roommates said was but you told us explicitly no one can spend the night at our property he's never here at night because he's working so there's no rule broken here she she had nothing to say and left we could hear her screaming from inside her car that was parked right outside then down in the comments we had this bizarre contribution from Bailey the nerd man I know what you mean about crazy landlady's my first landlady was a reverend she wasn't who asked me if I was into Satan before I moved in that should have been a red flag but rent wasn't normally that cheap where I was moving here are some tidbits about my time with her one she was extremely racist didn't like Asians Mexicans or blacks she was herself black too she accused me of trying to make her son's plane crash with voodoo because I was stupid enough to ask her who was the person in the picture nailed up outside my bedroom three she did a two-hour sermon in her living room every day this was the only time it was safe to leave your room as she wouldn't stop for anything but would glare at you the entire time you walked by for she accused me of Satanist Fung Shui Buddha stuff on night one because of how I arranged my groceries in the pantry haha fun times I hope never to see mad Margaret ever again this lady thinks that Opie is a satanist because of how he arranged his groceries like what does she thinks gonna happen someone's gonna accidentally put their box of cereal in the perfect spot which opens a gate to hell and someone's a demon into our mortal realm our next reddit post is from smack ace in 2018 I lived in Southern California while I was finishing up graduate school uber was more popular than ever and given how spread out California is in general it was an easy side hustle to shuttle people back and forth however I only did it for a little while because I'm not really the most patient person and eventually got tired of people's BS and attitudes one of the common tactics for customers looking to screw a driver was to cancel the rides in the middle of the trip to avoid paying the fare they would often say how they did it accidentally and then asked me if I could just finish the trip since we're basically there anyway this happened to me three times the first two times I pulled over and told him to get out of my car which they complied albeit they called me several names and threatened to kill me the third time is the subject of this post it was about 4:30 in the afternoon on a Tuesday when I decided to log on and catch some fares most people go into the office on Tuesdays and Thursdays and are looking to your rights home between 4 to 5 p.m. to beat the traffic at this point I should mention that I was living in San Diego if you know the area you know that many people work in the city and live in the outer areas Chula Vista Imperial Beach Escondido Pacific Beach because it's cheaper the day of the event oh yes it was an event loll I picked up a middle-aged woman who was a student at the local Community College downtown although she was in Community College I could tell she had money by the way she dress and where she was going La Jolla she gets in my car and starts to make a conversation with me I'm driving through town and as I'm about to get on the highway I hear the cancellation ding I pull over to a parking lot and let her know that she cancelled the ride and I couldn't drive her until she read book tit she gave me the it was an accident excuse I told her not a problem and to just rebook the route well at this point all those people I told you about earlier had just gotten off work and we were in what we called the Power Hour of maximum surge pricing la jolla is like 25 to 40 minutes from downtown San Diego depending on traffic I looked and the trip would have cost her 70 bucks she told me she wasn't going to pay that I said fine and asked that she exit my vehicle she refused and told me to take her home like I was her chauffeur at this point I was pissed and wouldn't have done it even if she gave me $100 cash I didn't really need the money I asked her politely again she refused I had never really gotten to this point before the other two people were guys and I would have no qualms about yanking their butts out by force and beating them in the middle of the highway however that wouldn't have been a good look in this situation I thought about going to the police given that we were three blocks from the headquarters but I wanted her to feel the burn cue malicious compliance I asked if she wanted a free ride she suddenly perked up and said I knew you'd come around you're such a nice guy I said buckle up and we got on Interstate five here's the part where I tell you that San Diego is 16 miles from the Mexican border I also keep my passport my glove compartment because I did volunteer work in Rosarito every so often we were about four minutes into the ride when she asked where we were going I turned around until I'm going to Tijuana and I'm glad you could join me I hope you brought your passport at first she didn't think I was serious but by exit four she started to panic I told her she was welcome to get out anytime but she needed to make a decision soon because after we passed exit 1 there was no turning back I also told her that I wasn't taking her back well she got the message and pleaded for me to pull over I pulled over and dropped her off at the outlet mall insane you see drew at the border just for giggles I checked the uber rate from the mall to La Joya and the cheapest rate was 87 dollars for a pool ride I didn't make any money that night but that was the richest experience I had while being a rideshare driver I stopped about one month later and sold my car opie this lady didn't want to pay you so you escalated to international kidnapping hats off Opie that takes guts our next reddit post is from Basco in 2017 I signed a contract for my web shop with our national mail carrier to deliver my parcels the more parcels the better rates you get in my league they had a one thousand two thousand or five thousand parcel target contract I went with the 2k one at the end of year one there would be an evaluation and they said they would be very flexible and reasonable because their priority is to help grow my business I actually had that in writing for any parcel I sent through them beyond the 2k target I'd get a 50% refund of the difference between the 2k and 5k rate that is at the 2k rate it was three and a half years per parcel and for the 5k rate it was three euros per parcel so they would refund me 25 euro since back for each parcel above my 2k goal on the other hand for each parcel I was short at the end of the year the 2k target they would charge me double the difference between the 2k in the 5k rate on top of a flat rate penalty fee so basically one euro per parcel I was short in the above example plus the penalty the end of year one of my contracts is two weeks away and I'm sitting at eighteen hundred and fifty parcels thinking that ninety two point five percent of my target is pretty good for year one I gave them a call to talk about the extra charges in the penalty and see if I could get the 5k rate for the next year as I was seeing an expecting strong growth in the end it was their priority to help grow my business and they were very flexible and reasonable no sir they were dead set on me paying the penalty charge me extra for the hundred and fifty parcels and on top of that they would set me back to the more expensive 1k target rate for the next year I tried to escalate it but to no avail so much for helping growing my business and being very flexible and reasonable in comes the malicious compliance I did the math and paying the penalty plus extra charges was nearly double of what it would cost me to reach my target if I would just pay for a hundred and fifty extra parcels out of my own pocket I bought a hundred and fifty bubble wrap envelopes dirt cheap printed one hundred and fifty stickers with my own address put those on each envelope drove to the mail office and dropped off a hundred and fifty empty envelopes next morning the mailman arrives at my door with a grin on his face he's a cool guy and a stash of envelopes wondering WTF I'm up to later that day I called to let them know that I reached my target and that I would not renew my contract I signed with a competitor for about the same price per parcel no strings attached and did 17,000 parcels in year two which amounts to 50,000 euros in business they missed out on Opie instead of sending yourself 150 letters what you should have done was send a hundred and fifty letters to the mail office saying you would like to end your contract I think that would have gotten the message across much more clearly our next writer posted from redonkulous so about two months ago my neighbor moved out now we weren't hangout level friends but we were cordial with each other we had an agreement that if the other wasn't home when a package came we'd go grab it and just give it to the other when they got home as my neighborhood is littered with porch pirates so I month ago a new neighbor moves in he has a package arrived he's not home I grabbed the package figuring I'd tried to make the same arrangement with him an hour later or so he pulls in his driveway I come out to meet him with his package I hand him the package and I give him a rundown about package thieves in the area he loses his cool and tells me that I don't need your effing help mind your own business leave me the F alone and storms been to his house okay cool fast-forward to yesterday I'm outside doing honeydew's flowers yard blah blah blah neighbor isn't home Amazon guy comes and drops off a package on dude's doorstep cue malicious compliance not five minutes after the Amazon guy leaves here comes a porch pirate grabs the package and just starts casually walking back to the sidewalk just as the thief makes the sidewalk the douche pulls into his driveway the thief takes off running he gets out of his car and starts screaming at me I told him nah I just what I did the guy gets all pissed and runs into his house you could hear him breaking stuff hilarious our next reddit post is from it's a Phoebe so this is happening at this moment in time so the full fallout isn't here yet my soon-to-be ex-husband filed for divorce after I finally got the balls to move out after he started physically abusing me no big deal I was planning on filing anyways the cast of this story is Matt who's Opie's husband Jen Opie's attorney and Steve Opie's husband's attorney I've had a great attorney Jin who took my case pro bono since we were living together all of 2019 and I moved out in 2020 Jen told Steve she felt that Matt and I should split tax returns 50/50 she also mentioned that since he made significantly more than I did he should pay $500 to Jin as my attorney fees well my ex did not like this he called me hey so since I have to pay $500 of your lawyer fees I'm taking that from your tax return check that's not how this works I had nothing to do with her requesting lawyer fees and even if I did you'd be forced to pay that five hundred back to me when we go to court well we had a deal no we didn't that you talked to your lawyer about the fees and you didn't I didn't agree with that I only agreed to half the tax return and all my stuff before the marriage coming with me Matt sighs loudly I can tell that he's getting angry look can I come get my check I have bills I gotta pay and my work is shut down will you leave it under the doormats no I will hand it to you when you get here no thanks I'd rather not have to see you please leave a check for half of the tax return under the doormats why do you have to make things so difficult just leave me the F alone and with that he hung up leaving the F alone got it I emailed Jen to make sure it was okay to block his number on my phone she said as long as he has an email he can use to communicate with me I could so I sent if you need to contact me please do so with this email and include both attorneys and then I blocked his number the thing is Matt's lawyer Steve did not take his case pro bono so every single time my attorney in his attorney email half an hour of time gets added to his bill since the minimum pay is 30 minutes all because he decided to act like a child our next reddit post is from angel my family owned a couple of beach doors on a beach that sold t-shirts towels and bikinis the bikinis were a big seller and we decided to mark them down for the week from 40 bucks to 25 bucks I put a sign up that showed the sale price and roughly an hour later a little kid knocked the sign down before I could replace it a big sweaty intimidating gentleman comes up to me and slams his hands on the counter yo my girl wants these two bikinis and you're going to give me a deal or I take my business elsewhere I was gonna tell him about the sale but once he demanded a deal and he tried to intimidate me with his size and slamming on the counter I decided against it I'll give you two for 60 bucks done completed the sale and as the man was leaving I put the sale sign back up down in the comments we have this story from night ray I actually went on vacation to Mexico with a couple of friends from college first adult vacation for us at the market we check out tourist t-shirts now at this outdoor market there were no signs to indicate how much the t-shirts cost when what am i when one of my friends asked how much he was quoted something like two hundred and forty pesos a shirt my friend thought for a second and said I'll give you 600 pesos for two the vendor said sold and the transaction was completed that vendor made a point to enthusiastically greet us whenever we visited that market for the rest of the week that was our sloshed militias complying and if you like this video then hit that subscribe button because I put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 774,552

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: BcaXGloEyyQ

Length: 15min 34sec (934 seconds)

Published: Thu May 21 2020