r/Pettyrevenge Revenge is a Dish Best Served Rotten

welcome to our slash petty revenge where no revenge is too small my fiance and I had been dating for four and a half years in that time we bought a house together adopted doggies together I put him through pharmacy school and we felt even more in love he's an amazing man and I'm crazy about him imagine my excitement that after braving all the ups and downs and watching life unfold as a team that he proposed I was overjoyed and through tears of happiness I said yes and of course our doggies were involved it's a larger slightly bluish pink amethyst stone with the halo of topaz around it set in rose gold I loved it it was perfect the next day I was attending a baby shower for my best friend in my hometown I trekked my way there and even though I tried to downplay the engagement because I wanted it to be about her she made a mini announcement because I knew people who were there most people did a little congrats type thing which was nice except for her cousin this girl let's call her Amy is super religious actually everyone from my hometown is super religious and I appreciate their faith but I didn't like her judgment she's voiced her opinions about how people shouldn't live together unless they're married and all that jazz so when she saw her over she took my hand in hers and scrutinized the ring she more or less said that at least he was making an honest woman out of me and then he had taken too long to propose then she kind of scrunched her nose at my ring and asked what kind of stone it was with a little snobby half smile on her face she also said that it was generic that he would ask me now that he's graduating because that's what everyone does I don't know what came over me I love my ring and I've never been mean to this girl but I've known Amy for a while and she's always been like this she likes to say what terrible decisions other people have made and how she always puts Jesus first so that's why her life has turned out so well she says it's because she followed his plan which ultimately led to her getting married ridiculously young to a guy who really isn't good for her at all and just leeches off of her she had to put herself through school and work while he would go on long stints out of the country to find himself and follow God's path which I really think meant bang other women she married him in the middle of a college year before one of the times he left I suspect to entice him to come back and have commitments here well I went for it I said oh he waited until he knew he could provide for me it's a pink diamond her whole face change from smug to envious she practically threw my hand down and mumbled how happy she was for me I looked up how big my petty lie had been later only to find out that yes pink diamonds are actually a thing and the teeny ones are like ten thousand dollars but hey she doesn't have to know how poor we are we're rich with unconditional love and loyalty and that's why I'm happy to call him my future husband our next reddit post is from jaha I used to work at a large car dealer and everyone was given assigned parking the women usually got the first few rows as the lot could be a little dark and scary during the winter so consequently the guys got the rose up against the fence further away no big deal anyway my spot ended up being way down in the back corner of the lot and that was fine with me every now and then I would show up and there was a car in my spot leaving me to scramble for another before work started the problem being that they used car salesmen were trying to hide a car they had prospects on over the weekend and didn't want it sold out from under them until they could show up on their next shift and if they work Sunday they usually had Monday off salesmen being salesmen they would steal a sale from their brother to make a buck but that's another issue so they would hide cars and employee parking and then the person whose spot they stole would have to find another spot usually at the last minute and sometimes they would be a dick and just take someone else's assigned spot causing a cascade effect for some reason they seem to take my spot a lot the first couple of times I went to HR and told them and they said that they would pass it on but it still happened four to five times a month and I was getting tired of it on a bright and early Monday I came in and sure enough there was a used car in my spot I was in a particular mood so I grabbed the case of the tow truck and moved the car way out into the service lot and dumped it into the area our body shop used to store cars waiting for parts I put the truck away and then parked my truck and then went to work a few hours later as salesman came looking for the car and after only finding my scalp he went around asking who owned said scout and finally found me he wanted to know where his car was and I played stupid I asked him where was it parked and made him take me to where he last saw it he said right here and pointed to my space with my Scout in it I said I don't know this is employee parking and it shouldn't be here anyway someone must have moved it you should go see HR or your manager and complain to them and I walked off I assumed he found it because I didn't see him again the next Monday the same thing happened but this time I towed the car in park to to cross the street on another dealers live I knew the manager and he said it was fine I returned the tow truck and went to work a few hours later another salesman was back in my face looking for his car I told him the same thing I had no idea what you're talking about and I went back to work a few hours later HR the used-car manager and the salesman show up in my bay looking for the same car from earlier so the manager and HR started asking me where the car was and I asked him to show me where it was parked we went down to the lower lot and he pointed to my spot with my Scout sitting in it and said it was right here I asked him so it was parked right here in my assigned parking place and now it's gone he said yes it was parked right here and I made sure to clarify that it was in my spot yes in your spot the used-car manager was getting annoyed with all of this I asked why are you getting pissed at me your employees and I pointed at the sales guy keep parking them here it's my assigned spot and I've been dealing with this for months he responds I'll deal with that where's the effing car I said it was parked across the street of friendly dealers WTF how did he get there I towed it hilarity and anger ensued and I went back to work HR said to please don't do that anymore and to come see them first all was fine for about a week until the following Monday and sure enough there was another car parked in my spot pissed I went to see HR and she said she would talk to the manager as soon as he shows Tuesday rolls around and the same car is still there I thought F this and drove my Scout up front and since it had been raining and the roads were all dirty and muddy my Scout looked pretty bad so I parked it in the used car manager spot right outside his office and made a point of parking badly and on the curb with mud clumping on the ground I went to work about two hours later when that manager showed up to work I get paged over the intercom Oh P please see the used car manager in his office I thought this was gonna be good I walked to his office and he points to my scout is that yours yes why is it parked there because even after last week's incident with a towed car your employees have parked in my spot again so every time they park a car there I'll park here well you need to move your car I can't my spots occupied it can't stay there well it's going to until your employees move that car and every day from now on if there's a car in my spot I'm parking there who the F do you think you're talking to move the car or I'll get it towed what the f is your problem this is all your fault for not dealing with it like a manager if you want to play that way I'll move my scout but before I do look at the rear number on that thing so what it's a nice big steel bumper and what I'll do is just back into my spot and if there's anything in my way I'll just push it backwards how does that sound you can do that well get off your lazy butt and tell your people to stop hiding cars in my effing spot I'm tired of doing this my car stays until your car moves and I walked out I got back to my bay and about ten minutes later I hear over the loudspeaker Oh p-please see general manager in his office immediately I walk into the GM's office and the used car manager and HR are both there the used car manager looks pissed and HR looks amused the general manager asked what's going on I told him I spoke to the salesman and asked nicely I spoke to HR and told her what's going on and I've spoken to commander douchebag a few times and about his people parking car in my assigned parking they continued so I started parking in his spot when his people park in mine the general manager shakes his head and asked the used car manager this is the case and he starts to Yammer the general manager just holds his hand up and says stop he looks to HR an acid this is true and she said that this has happened the general manager asks can you please move your car and I'll settle this I closed the door and I could hear the general manager reaming the used-car manager through a closed door 30 feet away and down the comments we have this story from deleted I used to work in a dealership as a mechanic and there was a self-entitled salesman who would park his car in front of the bay doors no matter how much we complained he would keep parking in our way finally one of my co-workers got tired of it and Jimmy the door removed the motor from the car and put it on the dudes desk and towed the car back to the bullpen the guy got the hint our next reddit post is from minimum wage yeah this happened 10 years ago or so I was camping with friends outside Fruita Colorado the day after a long night of drinking and bad sleep I was trying to grab a nap in my tents a friend of mine thought it would be funny to throw a leftover burrito from the previous night's dinner at my tent repeatedly giggling every time I cursed him for doing it finally I had to give up on the nap and go the hair of the dog route instead the next day the trip was over and we were headed home cue petty revenge while my friend wasn't looking I placed the burrito quietly in his glove box now this was the middle of summer my friend lives in Denver where daytime highs are in the 90s two weeks later I get a call from the friend who after cleaning his entire car and looking for dead animals in his engine finally open his glove box to Fallon as I can't imagine and the best part is the second he saw it he knew who put it there and that he deserved the hell out of it sometimes revenge is best served hot and fetid and down in the comments we have this story from a coal Bunnykins I accidently dropped a pint of milk in my boss's new car sent me on an errand which included getting milk for the office but also a present for his mistress the milk had a small hole in the bottom and dribbled all over the cloth passenger footwell it was hot for once in the UK and he could never get the smell properly out and he wasn't due for a new company car for another two years our next reddit post is from sergeant slaughter X I had two jobs one was at this country ice house in the middle of nowhere outside of my city this place was pretty small but was one of the few bars in a certain area so we would get busy a lot of good old boys and oilfield guys I worked the door checked IDs and such and usually broke up fights or kicked people out the owner of this place was very hands-on he liked to micromanage everything he didn't want me to kick people out unless they were throwing punches and even then he wanted me to try to talk to them he never cut anyone off he had that always be selling attitude one night some trouble happens between some regulars and one guy tries to hit another guy with a pool stick I happened to get hit in the arm but got behind the guy and put him to sleep next day the manager calls me to tell me I'm being let go apparently pool stick guy spends a lot of money and me putting him to sleep left and bitter so he called the owner that's fine anyway the bar has a nice fancy jukebox if you have the app you can just pick songs on your credit card and they'll play if you hit play next on a song even if they turn the jukebox off it'll play when it starts back up it's also unskipable with the master remote you could skip a song but they lost that remote so they really can't do much of someone plays a song they don't like and even if they unplug it it'll play no matter what when they turn it on here's my petty revenge the owner does inventory every Tuesday night it also happens to be a busy night because they do pool tournaments and it usually gets packed so here I thought I could probably just play this same song over and over and there's nothing they can really do I got 20 bucks and credits and that usually gives you about eighteen unskipable songs plus more depending if the app gives you credits I picked a remix of cotton-eye Joe that comes in at around 7 minutes of pop usually when the pool tournament started two hours of hearing this same song has killed their business on Tuesdays even if they unplug it it'll still play when they plugged it back up I've been doing it for two months so far last I heard they had to buy a new jukebox at a cost of $5,000 I'll probably stop for a month then start again I'm just a butthole I guess and down in the comments the appropriately named pranker joker has this contribution I'm wondering if there's some way to upload some Kidz Bop songs to it our next reddit post is from a certain technician this was a while back when I was in my early 20s I wasn't a heavy drinker but when I did I wanted something nice my liquor of choice was and still is rum nothing crazy mind you like 40 bucks a bottle but expensive for me at the time my housemates on the other hand were the party guys they would line up shots shotgun beers etc you usually didn't bother me since my bedroom was in the finished basement and well insulated but then I started noticing my rum didn't taste right at first I thought it was just me but it definitely wasn't they were pouring shots and then filling it back up with water knowing how they would pour several shots then I'll pound them together I planned my revenge I bought a new bottle emptied it into a different container and then filled it back up with Thai fish sauce I never did find out which of them it was but nothing of mine ever went missing again that was our slash petty revenge and today we've got a shout out I'm doing a shout out about once or twice a week to fans as a way to say thank you for supporting my podcast so thanks Shannon for supporting my podcast I really appreciate it hey are / my name is Shannon and my husband Michael and I love your channel on YouTube and now that it's on a podcast I can listen to it at work and not get in trouble also our dog tret absolutely loves all the puppy bloopers I'm so glad I get to hear this on my phone whenever I'm driving or work like I said you're so funny and we really love the channel keep up the great work

Channel: rSlash

Views: 432,570

Rating: 4.9509931 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, pettyrevenge, petty revenge, r/pettyrevenge

Id: Badggl_U4fw

Length: 15min 34sec (934 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 07 2020