r/Choosingbeggars Do You Have Any More Drugs I Can Steal?

welcome to our slash choosing beggars where a woman tries to hire a lawyer with cookies i did a free drawing for this girl in exchange for a shout out and she just emailed me back it looks nothing like me then proceeded to post my art on her insta talking trash about me in the email the choosing beggar wrote i'm sorry hun but that looks nothing like me and on the instagram post where she posted the picture she wrote please don't draw me emoji laughing while crying emoji like ever especially if it looks like this and what makes this post so good is that her instagram account is a positivity instagram you can do it a push through life health and beauty free space open space let's talk p.o.p positive on purpose look and some of these posts man look at you you're tired but you ain't giving up be stronger than yesterday a great life requires a great commitment a commitment called everyday daily work on yourself so i think that when the choosing beggar is feeling really down from a long day of just trashing on innocent people non-stop she looks at all of her motivational posts and thinks to herself no choosing becca you're better than this i know that you're tired but get out there and keep harassing people for no reason you can do it on this next post op is unemployed and married to an attorney and she wants to get a divorce so to find a divorce lawyer she turns to her church and when it doesn't go her way she posted this online the following examples i think may be more of a difference in our culture in my church community this kind of bartering is commonplace and accepted this lawyer is not religious so i think she isn't familiar or comfortable with this idea i asked her if she could do my divorce for free since she's a lawyer she said she doesn't do family law but gave me the name of a friend of hers who does do family law for me to call i didn't want to pay for a lawyer because they're super expensive so i called his assistant and asked if he could do my divorce and in exchange i would bake him some freshly baked cookies my baking is out of this world seriously i left several messages and he never got back to me so i asked my lawyer friend if she could call him and find out why he hadn't replied she sort of put me off and never really responded so i kept asking her but gave up after she wouldn't commit to calling him i guess she told our friend that she thought it was entitled to expect this lawyer who didn't know me to do my divorce for free even though it wouldn't have been free i was offering him baked goods again this kind of bartering i'll paint your deck and you give me a casserole or i'll look after your cat while you're on vacation and you bring me back some spices from mexico is very common in my community so i didn't see anything wrong with it i would love to see how this lady responded if someone tried this exact same logic on her lady you give me your car and in exchange i'll mow your lawn deal on this next post op is a sex worker are you blank from seattle yes this is her are you available for this friday for 30 minutes i charge by the hour at 190 and i always round up the time so you'd be paying 190 if that's okay let me know can you pay me for travel i'm a very important banker excuse me no you have to pay out of pocket for your own travel that's what i expect my clients to do listen here you black [ __ ] i know how you work then this guy sends a dick pic and says worship my wife and pay for my travel be a little good cotton-picking girl oh my god what did i just read [Laughter] goodbye if you ever message me again i'll be going to the police down in the comments i'm going to read this post from sadman can open checking account your account is very important to us here at bank of america ah yes i'm a very important banker giving away a free futon can you please deliver no sorry okay the reason i was asking is because i don't drive the reason i'm giving it away for free is because i don't have a vehicle big enough to move it oh you said it comes apart right the frame comes apart not the mattress okay i wish i could get there but i don't have a car what about taking it apart and strapping it to the top of your car here's an idea buddy what about you just walk here we strap it to your back and you walk home with it selling 34-inch curve monitor for 350 it's just a small tv i can do like 50 dollars but that's generous lol really first off it's not a tv it's a monitor second the model only slightly newer than this goes for 700 bucks this is in perfect condition and 350 dollars is a fair price i would suggest doing a little research or even reading the description before making such a laughably low offer listen you're a good kid handsome too i know you've got a lot of growing up to do would it make you feel better if i offer say 75 dollars half off does your mother know that's how you speak i'm disappointed in you and you f-bop don't ever speak to me like that again oh exactly keep your mouth shut and move on good luck shut your mouth golly gee willikers lady you think that i'm a good kid and handsome too in that case please take this 300 discount costco return policy sucks now costco wouldn't accept my return i bought a voip router that allows free calls to the us and canada about seven years ago there was a rumor about the voip company going bankrupt at the time of my purchase so i bought it from costco in case i needed to return in because i've heard people raving about costco's return policy i bought it from costco even though it was more expensive to buy from costco than online stores because of costco's return policy well the router broke after seven years and i went to my local costco to return it the employee at the return counter called the store manager to process my return and the manager said that she couldn't accept my return because it was too old i went to another store and the manager at the other location told me the same thing so how long is considered to be too old to return a product i've bought many electronics that aren't bound by the six-month return policy such as computers from costco even though they were more expensive because i thought costco would cover returns like this now i don't see myself buying anything other than groceries at costco unless there's some crazy sale going on how long before this idiot starts trying to return his groceries too hello i bought groceries from you and i ate them all and now two days later they're all brown and stinky i'd like a full refund please on this next post bbc news covers a cake maker with the headline i'm sick of influencers asking for free cake and then someone down in the comments replies so it's all about money for this woman whatever happened to passion and pride she just sits there counting her pennies demanding more and more money for her unhealthy creations yeah the audacity of this woman to expect money for her time and materials and this guy's profile lists him as a senior information technology business something i would guess consultant do you think this guy consults on it for the sheer joy of i.t and does it completely free of charge or does this entitled douchebag bring in a six-figure salary because yeah that's how jobs work how much will you charge me a full price what do you mean i was hoping that since we're cool you would hook me up with a discount lull why is it that in order for us to be cool i gotta be the one hooking you up why don't you hook me up with my full price plus a tip since we're so cool do you have any old cell phones why for your uncle until his new phone arrives oh hmm i'm not sure i have a working phone mom i have some very old phones at work but he'll need a sim card adapter he doesn't need a very old phone has to be iphone 6 or above um hello excuse me when did i become a phone store hey is your sofa set still available hi yes it's available how's the condition how firm are the seats it's in excellent condition and the seats are more on the soft side but very comfortable okay how negotiable is the price and can you deliver i'm willing to negotiate but will only accept a reasonable offer also it's only for pickup as i mentioned in the ad how much were you asking 450 dollars will you take 180 i can do 190 if you deliver are you serious i said i'll accept a reasonable offer and you're offering 180 and only 10 dollars for delivery when renting a u-haul truck will be at least 60-70 the lowest i'll go is 400. i can do 200 but only if you deliver i have a bad bag and can't lift anything heavy let's say i agree to deliver it who will unload it and take it inside if you have a bad back you can bring someone to help you to bring it inside my apartment you've got to be kidding me four hundred dollars and you pick it up plus bring someone to help you did anyone else notice that she asked if the price was negotiable before op even told her the price meaning it doesn't matter what op was selling the sofa for she was still gonna try to hackle him down hey are you still selling the ipad yeah will you sell for a hundred dollars sell a brand new never open four hundred dollar ipad for a hundred dollars no come on if you're selling it it must be broke so it can't be worth more than a hundred i already told my kid he could have it well go ahead and untell your kid because he ain't getting it you missed a video call chat with choosing beggar why are you video calling me i want you to tell my kid to his face that he won't be getting any presents this year because of you op you should have accepted that call and been like sorry kid you've got a choosing beggar for a parent who's too cheap to get you real presents tough luck kid our next reddit post is from cupcake commercial my sister smokes on top of this she smokes very expensive cigarettes where we live each pack is almost ten dollars that's pricey here cheap packs are like four dollars which i didn't really care about before she had a job because how she spends her paycheck the parts not being used to care for her kids anyway isn't really my business but she quit her job lmao yeah during the pandemic a month or so ago because she and i quote don't want to deal with that b-word boss of mine anymore and was coasting on the money she'd saved well now she's run out of money shock her and instead of looking for another job she's instead going to try selling her a car but in the meantime she's broke with no way to buy cigarettes i don't smoke so she can't bump anything off of me but our mom smokes so my sister could technically bum a couple off for her but she doesn't because mom smokes those sucky cheap cigarettes no she wants her brand of cigarettes she's never heard the term beggars can't be choosers it seems so she's been in a pissy mood for a full week because she can't afford her expensive cigarettes won't accept the cheap ones and none of us are coughing up ten dollars to buy her a pack that she'll blow through in maybe a week but today i had had enough of her sucky attitude and decided to do her favor i said that if she would drive me to a fast food restaurant so i could get us all some food her kids included then i'd help her get some gas and a pack of cigarettes she eagerly agreed but rejected my offer to get her any food and the place i wanted to eat wasn't open yet so she'd have to wait until they opened then she sort of paused and asked if i really wanted food from the place that i wanted and not the place that she wanted which is closer i say no i've been craving something specific from the place that i want to go to so she relents and says okay and that she's going to be sitting outside drinking coffee until then so maybe 20 minutes go by and i go outside to give my sister a written list of what to get and as i get close to the side porch door which is open i hear her complaining about having to go through the drive-through for me to our mom just how i'm so rude for asking her to drive so far and how the food from the place where i want to go to is just so effing gross and how she didn't even want to do this anyways well i heard our mom tell her to be grateful because nobody else was offering to buy her food gas and her fancy cigarettes well my sister scoffed and started saying something else but i walked outside and she shut up mom and her had wide-eyed looks but i reached out and plucked my credit card which she was going to use to get everything from her hand and just said never mind i don't want to burden you i'll just order through doordash instead then walked back inside she tried to call me back and say that she was just messing around but i ignored her and when i made it clear that i wasn't buying her stuff or coming back i heard her pitching a huge baby fit and our mom laughing and telling her she did this to herself by being ungrateful so yeah my sister threw a fit and wore herself out before going and sitting in her car for a few hours to pout i really had no issue helping her if she did a little favor for me in return but i'm not going to help anyone who complains about my help behind my back op your sister has a kid and she quit her job and is about to sell her car and she got more excited about her cigarettes than food for her child her being a choosing beggar is pretty bad but her being a reckless mother is way worse our next rate of post is from ka3098 so i was a bridesmaid in a wedding and the venue was two stories the bride and bridesmaid got dressed in a private suite upstairs and we were able to leave our belongings in there once we went downstairs for the ceremony about 20 minutes into the reception this obnoxious douchebag that had been insufferable all through the wedding by doing backflips and stuff for attention and yelling out during the ceremony to participate comes confidently strolling up to me and shows me my own bottle of adderall and says so you have these so i'm guessing you have something better right excuse me i snatched the bottle out of his hand where did you get these from your purse obviously but where do you keep the better stuff xanax oxy why didn't you have those in there well i'm just so sorry that when you snuck upstairs and went through my purse my prescription medications didn't satisfy you get the f away from me immediately wow what a b word he then proceeded to jog off to tell the other guests what a jerk i was the guy then asked me to give him a ride home that night a four hour drive opie i know that it seems ridiculous that he would ask you to give him a ride but if you think about it it actually makes perfect sense after all you could have just popped a couple of adderall and made that 8 hour round trip drive no problem i'm finding lately with age my feet are getting sore after a day's work and i was wondering if anyone would like to visit me in my home to massage my feet for free i can offer tea biscuits and witty banter but unfortunately no money you know at first glance this seems like a choosing beggar but i bet if they post it on some sort of foot fetish website they might actually get a few hits that was our slash choosing beggars and if you like this content then check out my patreon where i publish episodes that were too spicy for youtube also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 512,589

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, choosingbeggars, beggar, r/choosingbeggars, choosing beggar, choosing

Id: vYXaPwq5zC8

Length: 16min 1sec (961 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 03 2020