r/Maliciouscompliance "I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!" "LOL OK!"

welcome to our slashing malicious compliance where you always have to be careful what you wish for this was a long time ago but I remember it clearly we moved into a community with tight space in between our house and our neighbors and we didn't like them being able to see into our kitchen we put up a bunch of plants costing thousands but my parents thought it would be worth it a week later my parents awoke to the plants completely chopped down my father was furious and marched down to our neighbor's house he told my father the plants were on his property line therefore he had total rights to take them down he warned that if anything were to go onto his property again he would report us to the authorities immediately later that day my father called the company that put in the plans and with the warranty we could have them were planted next week for no charge we made sure there was no way it was on our neighbors property however a few days later we caught him chopping them down at 2:00 a.m. we called the police on destruction of property and after a chat with my neighbor he decided to call a professional and mark his property line my father agreed a few days later I got home to find orange tape in my neighbor's yard apparently his fence was 11 feet over our property line we watched as he took down his fence completely furious within the next month we were enjoying our new space and privacy in our backyard and my neighbor ended up losing one fourth of his backyard my neighbor ended up having to pay almost $10,000 for the destruction of our property and we got to plant our plants again so this reminds me I don't know how many of you are aware of this but tree law is this incredibly obscure but incredibly satisfying thing in America actually I really really need to make a video about tree law it sounds like the most boring freakin thing on planet earth but trust me oh my god some of the best revenge stories involve tree law trust me on this guys this is both malicious compliance and petty revenge so let me know if it fits better over there a bit of a backstory Before we jump in I but in India for the last two weeks on a course of my university just a day before I flew out I must have eaten something dodgy because I got the infamous Delhi Belly diarrhea as someone who likes to think ahead I decided to book aisle seats for all my flights knowing I'd probably be taking multiple trips to the bathroom the compliance begins on a four hour connecting flight as I made my way to my seat I realized an older woman had taken it for herself I pointed at the number above but instead of moving to her middle seat she got up in motion for me to sit in it at this point I thought about telling her what the deal was with my colonic calamity but decided to just let my actions speak for me as soon as the seat belt sign went off after takeoff I got up to take the first of many dumps she had actually fallen asleep at this point so I had to wake her up so she could get up grumpily 20 minutes later I had to go again a total of four trips later and we're still one and a half hours from landing she's getting irate finally after my fifth and final defecation she offers to swap seats cherry on the top I didn't even get up again until we landed prior to being a bartender I worked at a retail chain called Big W I'm a nerd I tend to switch to autopilot when tired almost always at the end of shifts and can be a dick when annoyed me in a nutshell it's a slow Wednesday afternoon the AC is broken again and it's about five degrees Celsius hotter inside than it is outside twenty-nine degrees Celsius I'm in autopilot rigor mortis smile on my face and retail greetings are droning out of my throat a guy walks into my register demanding a refund for something trivial probably his panties were the wrong color I don't remember I inform him in a monotone voice that refunds are issued by my supervisor not me there's a surprisingly substantial line at the supervisors desk people wanting cigarettes refunds or information he informs me that he's not waiting that long for something to reveal he demands I do it because even someone as dumb as you can do this well that snapped me out of autopilot and the smile fades I repeat in a more direct tone that only the supervisor can do refunds the customer is having none of it refund my item he demands again saying it very slowly as if I was the dumbest potato in the strawberry patch I am unable to he cuts me off I want to speak to your manager I don't want to talk to you now this is where people need to be careful with their words as a cashier I report directly to my supervisor one of the two at the desk they're in charge of me my manager sits out back managing the store and usually never has to interact with customers unless the supervisor calls him so I nod calling through the headset for my manager let's call him Fred Fred's a great guy he tells good jokes he's always ready to help his friend and he's a caring soul he's also a mute and after wrapping his ute around a tree as a teen he's also deaf as such he knows Auslan which is Australian sign language but can't read lifts to save his life I also can't speak Auslan at all this probably took about five minutes for someone to alert Fred that he was needed and for him to come down all this time I'm smiling but not saying a word to the gentleman as he told me to he comes up to the register seasons me waving him down and pulls out his PDA to communicate with me what's up Fred types I take the PDA and type customer has a complaint wants to speak to my manager not me Fred raises an eyebrow at me and I just shrug the guy is turning red with anger probably thinking we're ignoring him Fred turns to the guy who launches into a full-on verbal assault that would curdle milk chocolate something about incompetent employees and terrible service fred just stands there eventually the guy runs out of breath and fred has a chance to show him the PDA with the words sir I am a deaf mute please use this to communicate with me the guy practically screams and storms out of the store plot twist Fred can talk in here just fine but since he works in retail he's been faking it for years so that he doesn't have to listen to angry customers I am a small-time landlord with just 4/10 earlier this year I had two sisters that didn't respond to my request to add one of the gals husband to the lease though he was living with them not a big deal but did I mention the pitbull they also brought home without permission I do allow pets and had previously approved their other dog I asked nicely in person and by email in the months leading up to the malicious compliance they also did not respond when I asked if they were happy there and wanted to renew their lease for the following year I asked again then I emailed them notice that I would start showing the unit two days later I try to be a nice landlord I do they had a newborn as well so I scheduled all of the showings within a two-hour window on the same night so I could be in their space as little as possible also because they had not responded and it was now serious crunch time for getting another tenant and my spouse worked all the following two weeks during evening showing hours I had the delightful inconvenience of breaking my two and six-year-old children with me to the showings because I'm not a corporation I'm a small-time family landlord with kids try to imagine how difficult it is to conduct business meetings with two kids right then imagine staggering showings every 15 minutes with prospective tenants who are also bringing their own kids just a further clutter your imagination this is an 800 square foot two bedroom apartment with a cozy entryway so I arrive with my two kids to find that my tenants are still at home along with the husband the newborn and the other sister's boyfriend so that's seven people in a small kitchen already then the first prospective tenant start arriving husbands wives with kids and some showing up early so there's two sets of them that's 14 people in a small kitchen and I'm a mom I have magical powers so I'm holding my toddler my daughter is safely under the dining table coloring and I'm chatting with the prospective tenants and directing traffic while my actual tenants prepare to depart if you didn't know this already it's common practice in the u.s. to leave the premises during real estate or apartment showings this was their first apartment I actually emailed them ahead of time to let them know what is generally expected at showings that is a relatively tidy apartment and that they can leave for their own convenience they do eventually leave after the boyfriend tells a prospective tenant that he in fact also lives here and I carry on with an exhausting scheduling of showings and have my tenants all picked out and least signed by the next day awesome right the next night I get a voicemail from the husband who is not my tenants I saved it and just listened to it again because it still gives me that same delightful shiver of malicious compliance in his voicemail he told me how awful it was that my children touch his infant's things they didn't because I keep my kids entertained with magical mommy toys but prospective tenants also brought children and how they had to sterilize everything to keep their infant from being sick and how inconvenient it was to have showings with only two days notice and how very unprofessional I was to bring my children and asked if I could just be more professional in the future you can hear it can't you the deep shiver of malicious compliance vibrating through my offended being the next morning I started issuing professional least notice violations one for the extra residents of the unit hubby and boyfriend one for the extra dog and a few additional one for building concerns I noted during the showings they ignored the violation notice which I sent by certified mail and thoughtfully also by email I decided to be even more professional thirty days later and issue a five day notice to vacate and I called their mom who is their emergency contact as an eviction notice is an emergency did I mention that their lease was due to in just a few weeks later but it would be unprofessional of me to let those violations slide until then three days later they'd magically sent me all the information I'd requested removed the other dog license the first dog gotten the required pet insurance they moved out on their lease termination date and it's skipped out on their last electric bill and left the unit in damage condition despite my professional security deposit disposition statement and request for payment they ignored those notices until I stated I would proceed to small claims court by x84 the total due beyond their security deposit on X date they replied stating they didn't think it was fair that they should have to cover damages to the unit or pay any more money toward their utility bill yep two months later there we were in the lobby of the courthouse sitting across from each other on uncomfortable waiting room [ __ ] they're laughing among themselves about how they're going to get their full security deposit back and I'm quietly reviewing my presentation notes to the judge and my sizeable stack of evidence photographs and videos this was my first time in court but I wasn't laughing I was preparing one hour later we're back in the lobby and their mom is trying to write me a check for the full amount of the judgment she doesn't have a pen her kids don't have a pen I however have a pen I cheer fully offer my pen she writes the check and hands it to me and waits I hold out my hand again got my pen back - I was so proud of myself for not saying any of the sassy things in my head in that moment you know why because I was being professional as I'd been from the moment he'd left that voicemail as a last note I do acknowledge that it would have been better if I hadn't brought my children however if you have kids you'll understand that sometimes they simply have to go where you go so a bit ago I used to work in health care we were allowed to work up to 55 hours a week and so I would usually pick up around 3 to 4 extra shifts a month just to pay for treats and extras I always made sure I never did too many hours and that I felt well in myself until a new senior nurse started from elsewhere in the hospital she was quite brittle with all the staff bringing in arbitrary new rules and just generally being rude until she wanted something then her tone change and she was sweetness and light she started telling staff that picked up more than one shipped a month that they were doing too many hours and that we had to pick up fewer hours as it didn't reflect well in the department to have permanent staff working so much she said this in the most condescending tone possible I tried explaining the policy at the hospital but she didn't listen just said well I'm the senior nurse on this ward and this is how it is now and to be honest it wasn't worth my while just working what extra shift so I stopped I also stopped staying behind to help as long as I wasn't impacting patient safety or others apart from her got loads of notes to write too bad I'm finished now see you later got some samples for pharmacy think you'll be running those yourself it all came to a head one day as I was getting ready to leave she asked me to work a shift the next day she said that she'd asked a staffing agency but they couldn't send anyone and no one else wanted to pick up shifts then came the sweetness please Oh p-please otherwise I will have to do it and I'm meant to be going to a certain thing tomorrow I stopped I smiled I just said well I can't do too many hours and you are the senior nurse and left funnily enough she never questioned me picking up shifts again stories like these when Opie gets revenge by using the jerks own words against them I swear reading them is more satisfying than porn my department is about 10 guys all older and much more conservative than me their talks are mostly sexist racist homophobic and elitist to keep the peace I keep the conversations light and work-related the few times our paths cross also my desk is down the hall from the department and overflow along with other miscellaneous workers so overlap is minimal between us my co-workers apparently complained to my boss that I was too quiet despite good work I got a bad review for not talking no raise for me fine next day I was at my desk for at most two hours out of 8 want to talk to me about how women are only good for sucking male genitals let me tell you how as a bi guy it feels to have a marine sucking my genitals let's unpack all of those ignorant comments of yours we are done arguing up next random facts no let me complain to you guys about my classes next show me what you are doing and how I already know but I've missed out on a race because I wasn't engaging enough with everyone so now everyone has to teach me something you don't want to engage with me it's okay I can talk to the back of your head too I like to monologue when I got called into my boss's office at the end of the next day I explained why I got no work done in eight hours I get you are angry but let's be honest here if HR finds out about the things we all did today we would have an empty department I got my raise a request to stop harassing my co-workers and motivation to look for another job no no Opie you misunderstood me when I said you need to spend more time talking to your co-workers what I really meant was you need to spend more time agreeing with everything we say that was our slash malicious compliance and this is our slash puppy bloopers then her tone changed and she was excuse me excuse me Todd do you want something then her tone changed and she was all sweetness then her toe chain then then her tone changed and she was then her tone [ __ ] please then her tone then her tone changed then then her dog can I get through the sentence then her tone changed [Music] um then her tone changed and she would then her tone seems and you go what what do you once I just fed you I just walked you you want some belly rubs you want some value around exactly you once you puppy dog yeah that's what you'll need a soft belly because you want some belly rubs and some head scriptures yeah

Channel: rSlash

Views: 1,580,589

Rating: 4.9048572 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: E0fOk954WsA

Length: 18min 6sec (1086 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 20 2019