r/Maliciouscompliance IT'S THE LAW!

welcome to our slash malicious compliance where your wish is my command last week I was working from home one day and got up to use the bathroom and made a cup of coffee took ten minutes tops I get back to my computer to a bunch of messages from my boss getting increasingly nasty about something and why I wasn't answering quick enough for her I send a message back with whatever it was she needed to know and apologizing for not getting back to her soon enough when she finally answered me about half an hour later she said if I'm not going to be at my computer for any amount of time I need this in an email to everyone in my office including high-level executives that I'll be unavailable for X amount of time and why so that's what I've been doing my normal phrasing for this message is hi I'll be unavailable from this time to this time as I'm going to use the bathroom slash make some coffee etc every single person in my office has told me it's fine and I don't need to tell them when I'm going to be gone for a few minutes where I then forward them the original exchange between me and my boss and apologize but say this is what my direct report has told me to do and this is the result if I don't they all hate her as much as I do now Opie clearly the solution here is to convince everyone else in the office that they need to start doing that as well because then when you get emails about potty breaks for every single person in the office then pretty soon everyone's gonna start to despise your boss our next reddit post is from much beef so this just happened today at school so it's still fresh in my mind we were in algebra and we're taking a test the teacher was out of the classroom for a bid and someone asked me for the answers now I had secretly hated this kid for almost a year because he had destroyed my 210 dollar phone and only paid me back twenty dollars and said hopefully this will be enough for a screen protector so anyways it turned out he had skipped a question so he accidentally had about 75% of the questions answered in the wrong box making them all wrong he asked me to erase them for him so he could copy my answers because his arm hurt I was just about done with my so I finished it in a race his but instead of giving him my answers I turned my paper in he now he now had five to ten minutes to answer about 30 questions the teacher then walked back in while he was pleading with me and asked what was going on I told him that David was trying to copy my answers no regrets then we had this contribution from Texas Aggie down in the comments - funny cheating stories one when in high school there was an annoying kid who would try to cheat off of me I would purposefully answer every question incorrectly allow him to copy the incorrect answers wait for him to turn his examine and then erase all of my incorrect answers and put in the correct answers before I turned my examine he got multiple zeroes and would still try to copy off of me - when I was in college I was on the football team at Texas A&M one day at lunch in Kane Hall athletic dining hall one of our tight ends was complaining because he had been caught cheating on an essay he had copied another essay word-for-word including the other student's name the day before the NFL Draft in which he was projected as a third-round pick he was arrested in the parking lot of the Kyle Field stealing hubcaps when his car was searched the University police found over five thousand ecstasy tablets and some cocaine he wasn't drafted imagine losing out on a multi-million dollar athletics contract because you can't keep yourself together for one semester our next reddit post is from evil hound I'm not sure if this belongs in petty revenge or malicious compliance for there's a little of both so sorry this has been put in the wrong place either way I've enjoyed my malicious revenge slash compliance so I hope you do too for the past few years our business has been receiving telemarketing calls from an offshore call center trying to make appointments for Optus Business Center every time they call we politely tell them we're not interested and to remove us from their list and they promise not to call again you can probably tell by my use of the words every time that having ourselves removed from the list didn't work it didn't work the first time and it didn't work the 50th time offshore are cheap and get paid per appointment so they would get quite aggressive it was clear that a new strategy needed to be found as it was taking too long to get them to bugger off so I began my campaign of malicious compliance slash petty revenge hi we're calling from Optus business centre and we can save you 40% on your mobile phone bill can we come and see you tomorrow at 11 a.m. you can save me 40% of my phone bill that's like 60 grand a month what how many phones do you have 150 or so that I'm responsible for directly plus a few others the appointment is quickly confirmed the next day as salesman calls me up and he's running early can we meet earlier I refused our appointment is for 11:00 a.m. after all 11 a.m. rolls around and in he walks we sit down a reception and go through the greetings I then ask him if it's possible to make the telemarketing calls stop now he assures me that it is and so I stand up shake his hand and thank him for coming in what's that's it you could have said that over the phone I point out that we did many times and it didn't work and I hope that this waste of time 45 minutes trips from Homebush to Sydney would perhaps teach him to mend his ways over the past two years they've sent out five different reps to see us they call for meetings we accept them shine them on about the value of the account and they roll in to be greeted by me dressed in a chicken suit made to wait in our meeting room for 20 minutes before being asked to be removed from the list and being turned away at the door they sent two reps that time I'm posting this today because it was visit number six and it was the best yet we got a repeat customer I sat him down in the meeting room and played the video recording of our last meeting I say is that you yes it is me didn't I follow up did we have a good meeting I pointed out that I certainly enjoyed our last meeting and zoomed forward in the video to the part where I explained that we didn't have 500 mobile accounts and he needed to please remove us from their list and you could see his heart break which it did again once he realized that whatever account he thought was being discussed today was not going to be discussed which we also have on video so we can all go inception if and when he shows his face again and he wasn't kidding about the chicken suit here's a picture of Opie in an honest-to-god chicken suit that he wears to these meetings and Opie if you're out there please share this video with me I would love to showcase that video on my channel our next reddit post is from cricket rocks so I'm a business consultant and usually during the week we're at a client site and get paid for travel meals etc the meal reimbursement policy is quite flexible and doesn't limit what we can claim like some of the other consulting companies so we can claim lunch alcohol whatever the policy however does lay down a guidance for a daily limit her food expenses based on the country where you're traveling I capitalize the word guidance since that is exactly how it's written in the policy it's a guidance not a hard limit for the UK where my current project is the limit is 40 pounds per day which is mostly okay but can be a bit low if you're in the centre of London for example now I do intermittent fasting so most of the days I don't have breakfast and lunch and just have one big meal a day and have no problems keeping to the 40 pounds usually around 20 on some days I might go to a fancy restaurant have a couple of scotches with a steak and run up a 60 dollar bill but during the course of a five-day week my average meals would run about 30 pounds a day if not less I've never had a problem claiming these expenses in my nine years with the firm but recently a new project manager Reed bean-counter came on board and he sent back a couple of my expense reports for having meal expenses in excess of the 40 pounds for a couple of days even though the average meal expense over the week was much less than 40 pounds I tried to reason with him told him that any it was a guidance and not a hard limit and I was keeping the cost down on other days he refused to budge and said I could only claim 40 pounds a day for food so guess what I started doing exactly that every day I made sure I was claiming 40 pounds or there abouts of food I started buying meals for the homeless people around the train station to make sure I could make up the forty pounds so now where I was claiming less than a hundred and fifty pounds a week for meals I now claim 200 pounds and get some good karma for it then we have a similar story from detection down in the comments I went through the same thing a couple of years ago but our sis limits on one meal per day for example 15 bucks for breakfast 20 for lunch and 30 for dinner most of the team would usually skip breakfast and have cheap lunch on the go and have a nice dinner so depending where you are it wouldn't be shocking to see something like this zero dollar breakfast seven dollar lunch $45 dinner we all got slapped on the wrist pretty hard a couple of months in a row so we all started Mack seeing every meal even if it meant spending a little over and paying out of pocket and even maxing breakfast at gas stations on Road snacks after a little while the rules were updated to give us a soft day limit for meals they say there's no such thing as a free meal but in this case I think this is an exception to the rule our next reddit post is from ad resonator this might be a rarity for this of as I'm the one who had the malicious compliance done to by someone else but I had to respect it and thought it was worthy for this subreddit I owned an escape room company in a town which borders a pretty touristy area and it's very close to an airport as such we tend to get a lot of bookings from people all over the UK who are visiting the area for the weekend or international people coming to do an escape room on the way to the airport we only take online bookings and don't take walk-ins therefore the site is only really manned whenever we have bookings as such our cancellation policy is that we only allow refunds if the cancellation is more than 24 hours before the scheduled start time if it's two to 24 hours before the start time we can only reschedule the booking now it's worth mentioning that for the majority of cases weekdays we are pretty relaxed with our policy as long as it doesn't cause any big issues and try our best to accommodate a group as usually I'm the one hosting them so there's not any additional expenses on our part ie staff wages or loss of income from other potential customers however the only day where this policy is really relevant is on Saturday where we are almost always entirely booked from morning tonight and have staff members working for us so any cancel slots would most likely have been filled by other customers and we are of course still paying our staff for that time although I must say we've only ever had to enforce this policy a couple of times as we can usually accommodate a group in some shape or form now on to the malicious compliance so I get a call earlier today from a gentleman with a thick Scottish accent that was scheduled to come in with his group around two and a half hours from the time of the call the group said that they would be unable to make their booking as they were running late with some other activities or something like that and asked her we're scheduled a booking for a later slot I checked her schedule but didn't have any slots left for today in any of our rooms he then asked for a refund as they would be returning back to Glasgow tonight and didn't know when they would be down here again I told him our policy and that our system only allows reschedule instead of refunds due to the time frame and explained that given that it's a Saturday we can't refund so close to the time as staff has been arranged slot would have been booked etc etc rescheduling wouldn't have worked for them as they wouldn't be in the area anytime soon after a short pause he asked if we had any free slots to schedule for next month I checked the system and offered to move the booking to the same time on the 16th of November to which he said yeah I think that works I changed the time in the system and informed him he would get an email confirming the new time slot he replied great so the booking is more than 24 hours away now right I said yes it's booked four weeks from today he said right so the booking is more than 24 hours away I won't be able to make it can I have a refund I pause for a second trying to process what had just happened in my head and realised that he had found a loophole in the system technically his booking was more than 24-hours of ways so he's technically entitled to a refund I started laughing and congratulated him on beating the system as I process his refund so basically this guy found the hidden exit to your escape room that was our slash malicious compliance and if you want to maliciously comply hit that like button because that gives the YouTube algorithm the warm and fuzzies and helps share my video to other YouTube viewers

Channel: rSlash

Views: 671,114

Rating: 4.9476013 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, maliciouscompliance, malicious, compliance, r/maliciouscompliance

Id: Uha5EqT8x7g

Length: 13min 41sec (821 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 27 2019