r/Holup | noodles have stopped responding

i found this carrot in my roommate's shower who the hell eats carrots in the shower i don't know is that aqua glide [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash hold up without much further ado let's get right in there but before we get into today's fresh batch of memes we've got an announcement that's been in the making for quite some time now and one that i'm sure you have been looking forward to that's right my friends mk finally has merch and not just any merch we've got this gorgeous poster available only in limited quantities they're available now so make sure you head on over to mkshop.com or the link down in the description below to get yours pre-ordered today and without any further ado let's get to the meme shall we i'm pretending to be a hot girl on tinder so i can match with my roommate and tell him i'm coming over so he'll clean the apartment that's just the biggest brain energy i've ever seen in 2005 a south african man marius ells i hope i said that right adopted a baby hippo after rescuing it from a river six years later after years of bonding between the two the hippo dragged him into that same river and atem delicious serious question for believers of heaven when i was a child being told a loved one was watching over me was comforting as an adult i'm wondering if grandma's just sitting back watching me gobble balls or is there some kind of privacy setting i should know about no privacy settings here friend they can see all men hospitalized after inserting a battery up his butthole to boost his energy sir that is not how this works but i like where your head's at you're an outside of the box thinker why is billy eilish's brother dating someone that looks exactly like billy why am i supposed to give a [ __ ] fifty dollars whatever you want baby can you wish me a happy birthday no i can't do that my services are strictly well you know do you think christ was a boobs man or an ass man no this isn't a disrespectful question by the way if you're catholic you believe christ was fully human fully divine to deny that he had any sexual temptations implies that he wasn't fully human making you a blasphemer punishable by excommunication for most of history now answer boobs or ass well i think christ was a cultured man if you will so i'll say ass sheeran explained it was fun but i kind of felt like the hobbit in the elven kingdom can i tell you why i was laughing basically there are all these big inflatable bouncy black balls that are bouncing around in the crowd on the finale bin ariana grande comes up and stands next to me and just looks at me and goes i love big black balls [Laughter] man refuses to give up bus seat for pregnant woman he says pregnancy her choice it's not my fault she decided to have a baby when she couldn't afford a car the man said jesus calm down 4chan you can choose a superpower but the first person to reply can choose a side effect alright i can fly you have prostate cancer oh that one was unexpected for sure found cat was at my front door this evening with no collar he ate five cans of tuna so he must have been lost for a while he was covered in dirt and leaves so i gave him a bath i've been checking with neighbors but no one seems to be missing a cat huh well i guess it's yours now i will not breathe until mr beast comments on this video comments are turned off no no steven gaming no hey yo just got my first debit card okay congratulations on that if you recognize one of these couches then your childhood was great yep i recognize them all perfect his name is the last thing you ate and you can't say come god damn it what's the point of this game people are apparently trying to free a murderer because he's too cute we've seen this happen before it's not gonna work have fun in prison buddy which of these days is part of the weekend in germany if i know millionaire player calls wife for phone a friend and another man answers the phone uh oh that would actually be the worst thing ever though the way my neighbor makes the entire apartment building smell like boiled feet i'm about to sit outside their door with febreze on full blast till they get the hint so it turns out he died oh took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy oh yeah i know i did the same thing if you rotate the phone the number of donkey will increase um well i'm on a computer monitor i'm not gonna rotate that out here living my best life steve is drowning well this ain't about him is it forget you steve i'm living my downstairs neighbor has a daughter who lets her boyfriend sneak in through the window every day i'm known narc so i haven't told her dad well she just told me my skinny jeans are out i'll be asking her dad tomorrow why his son keeps forgetting his key respect your elders oh no there are feathers oh don't go back there i would not i don't care what it is don't go back hello from turkey james here's a photo of me which my friend photo bombed can you make him disappear it's a potential profile pic and he's ruining it what friend oh god not every lady gaga fan is gay i'm straight and i love her okay guys six years past and i eventually came out as gay well i'm not completely gay you know what this fits yeah yeah i don't know any straight people that really love lady gaga my favorite color is oh yeah we're gonna go with glitter we're gonna go with glitter everyone john wick's dog dies naturally his friend don't be sad god gives life and god takes it so you mean god killed my dog also god oh man you know what if that's not the plot to the last john wick movie i don't want to see it there are lesbians who like men there are lesbians who like men there are lesbians who are straight there are lesbians who are bisexual there are all this and more alright you do you i don't give a sh fun australian fact this kangaroo is waiting for pursuers to come into the water with him where he will try to drown them they are extremely good at it never ever go into the water with a kangaroo everything has lots of innovative ways to kill you here is that innovative sounds like something they've been doing for a long time i love what you guys are doing keep up the good work jew thank you but please refrain from using that acronym our organization's name is journalist excellence worldwide i understand my middle name is kevin waiter kids under 12 are free me thanks i'll have two kids that's cool you're tipping me really well right murderer released after being deemed too old to kill again kills again before judgment after judgment good lord about right there all animals want to live where do you draw the line yep right there right there i mean i guess in incredibly emergent situations i might consider horse but that would have to be pretty drastic man spikes his goodbye cake at work with laxatives chaos ensues as people everywhere man that guy does not look very healthy i know i'm one to talk but go to a doctor please asians math is easy europeans math is hard americans is math racist [Laughter] men are insufferable you got that right this may sound like i'm [ __ ] with you but i'm not i was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease called oh good lord google it if you want essentially i don't get enough blood flow to my ears and they are slowly freezing and they will soon fall off and it will spread to my inner ear and brain there is no cure but there is one treatment i need to warm my ears constantly to save my life and the only material soft enough is the inner thigh of a pretty girl so i need you to sit on my face for medical reasons this is the stupidest cringiest you ever could have said you know what i'm sure people just respect hey will you sit on my face please a lot better than this dip oh i can't even think straight anymore that's so lame bro can you give me the codes sure i mean the code slash password to our online class oh sorry wait by the way what are these codes oh it's nothing i'm sure it is friend why afghanistan is impossible to conquer well that aged great hey i'd like to make a maintenance request hey kyle what seems to be the issue there's no hot water to my unit hasn't been since five yesterday i assumed you guys were working on it would you mind sending me some pictures uh okay it looks like this but not hot not exactly what i meant oh some pictures i got you all right please fix my water daddy oh jesus i'll send someone over shortly hooray really though what the hell did he want pictures of straight up i want to know i work 12 hours a day and come home to this it sounds like everybody needs a lifestyle change everybody plan b if the protest doesn't work oh god whoo that's a dangerous one right there got a cat needs a name serious suggestions only you're not getting any he started slowly undoing his belt from under the table she bit her lip was this really happening here it she thought and started undoing her own belt he motioned to the waiter another round of wings please they smiled at each other knowing they both had room now i'm a christian so they may try to drive me to my knees but that's where i'm at my strongest i'm not a christian but girl same when is she gonna shut the [ __ ] up ready for school what school the four horsemen of real science jumping off buildings ain't [ __ ] why are my balls itch how much sawdust can you put in a rice krispie treat before people notice these are all things i've wanted answers to my whole life birthday sex is having sex to celebrate your parents having sex i mean not really i wasn't born on the same day i was conceived closed because someone should get on the floor yeah it sounds about right wait when they bury someone with implants is there a point in the decomposition process where there's just a skeleton with huge boobs oh i don't like that at all school is starting again soon so i'm asking all drivers to please please watch for us student pedestrians and hit us at full speed thank you japan's first lady made a surprise visit to pearl harbor the japanese are big on surprise visits there aren't they fighting the joker again master wayne mr j how is it you're never able to kill batman i think people are starting to get suspicious oh right they're gay i get it gay joke bae so sweet she sent me this pick from her job interview today good luck who took it who took the sweet photo he was trying to cool the planet and she was regrowing the forests and they wanted us to root for the trust fund billionaire but his parents died this mask is useless my dad didn't serve this country for me to wear a mask this entrepreneur makes anti-mask masks for anti-maskers i don't give a [ __ ] your mask says as long as you got one on your dumb arrogant face we're good you know what they call a cigarette in britain what you can't post or comment for 24 hours your gangster name is the color of your shirt and the last thing you ate who are you blue waffle oh i guess i'm what the hell am i green cornflakes i don't see a single man on this list women really won oh on the list of the highest paid female musicians that is pretty wild isn't it there's nothing you can't do april 2021 oh i see and on that blindingly brilliant note we've come to the end of another video folks but you know the drill let's take a look at that fan art though i'm not sure how the rules are around gore so let me know oh no i'm getting more into horror art and i thought i'd submit some mk fan art in that style oh hey what the hell this is cool i think we need more spooky stuff you know we're getting closer to the day of days you know halloween i want more spooky do you guys remember that super cool mk poster i was talking about way at the beginning of the video well let's say it a little bit louder one more time for those that have us in another tab now let me just gush for a minute here about this poster i absolutely adore the art style my personal favorite part about it if i may say so is our good boy kermit staring longingly out the window someone please give him a hug oh and i guess my second favorite part would have to be the fact that we here at mk actually commissioned nasa to add a new constellation to the night sky do you see that right there only we can get away with doing that now if you guys really love this one you can certainly expect more merch from us in the future but for now make sure to get yours pre-ordered today while you still can the clock is ticking hurry always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed the video today consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed it well make sure to get yourself subscribed and click that bell icon and if you want to hear or see more from yours truly make sure to check my links in the description down below and until next time we'll catch you later bye

Channel: EmKay

Views: 827,052

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: QymY2ULY4yc

Length: 12min 53sec (773 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 18 2021