r/Facepalm | no shortcuts huh?

can breathe fine can breathe fine can breathe fine can breathe fine my lungs are being damaged i'm suffocating my oxygen is being depleted i'm being poisoned by co2 i'm reinfecting myself oppression hey there guys welcome to mk my name's jack the voice that claps back and today we're looking at a bit of face palm so yeah get those foreheads ready let's go the president and his allies are now accusing doctors and nurses who are treating kovid and watching their patients suffer and die of lying about its severity to hurt the president in the election this is the dumbest freaking thing i've ever heard well no this makes total sense as we all know all doctors have severe political affiliations also to try and flip the story on its head like this i mean i guess it's the only thing you can resort to when extremely intelligent people are saying that you are an idiot oh it's just because they're against me says a lot about someone's character when their immediate reaction to criticism is accusation oh ooh this is america like you don't even need to see anything it's also what's not there that helps you realize this is america i'll give you a hint it's the lack of face protection i mean just wow this photo is like some sort of renaissance painting honestly this belongs in a renaissance museum when covert hit new zealand the government said everybody no going to work for two weeks there's 7k in your bank account we added that's how they started day one now they don't have kovit we can't imagine doing that so here we are and you're the better for it ah new zealand they're just a small country we bigger countries have such a huge economy that needs to keep going we couldn't possibly stop for two whole weeks just to stop a silly virus even though it's a fact that's actually been costing owners a lot more money to keep everything open than to actually shut it down for two weeks but that's just that's just a political opinion cousin tested positive for covert and she came to our house just to say that surprise this is what you get for not paying me back earlier i just realized atlanta is spelled the same forward and backwards maybe they do need to reopen the schools if you're wearing a mask why would you care if i'm not your mask works right if you're sober why would you care if i was driving drunk your seat belt nare bags work right i challenge any game maker to come up with a game that rewards kids to be empathetic to situations involving other players and game characters and rewards them for kind gestures and behaviors and also positively reinforces kindness politeness and constructively can problem-solve i don't think they'll ever achieve that they're just too far journey undertale stardew valley the entire fallout series minecraft animal crossing harvest moon the vast majority of role-playing games made by bioware would you like recommendations i can keep going penny we can find one to suit your taste i'm sure we have heard your complaints about the mandated face mask requirements in businesses around the city we wouldn't want you to think we aren't listening so we would like to formally make an official statement regarding the city's stance on the issue we literally do not care what you think thanks pretty tacky city of tuscaloosa i'll remember that when i choose where to spend my money you won't be spending your money here anyways if you don't wear a mask karen bakery we refuse to serve gay people conservatives that is their right bakery we refuse to serve anyone not wearing a mask conservatives you're violating our rights should gamers be put on a watch list similar to that of terrorists and criminals uh this looks like a lose-lose situation the vote in something tells me this poll has a tiny bit of agenda behind it we saw pokemon go as a teachable moment for how people should treat real animals uh kidnapping them and forcing them to fight yeah wait what the hell peter you literally met a campaign like years ago advocating against pokemon in general saying it was all about poaching and forcing animals to fight against their will the heck is with this backflip of a stance you can't just change your law like that what are you some strict religion trying to appease more to the modern generation uh i mean honestly i i guess you kind of are i'm cancer-free uh how the frick do you change a zodiac sign i am literally so freaking stupid my freaking god never mind forgive me you know what i will because you noticed your mistake a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and that she'll never find a boyfriend no way no way is this true seriously are there seriously guys like this out there and we wonder why men are hated the daily caller millennials are so helpless they're taking adulting classes to learn how to do things like sue a button i mean sorry oh my god i can't english you had a few typos i fixed it millennials are so motivated they're taking classes to learn the skills older generations fail to teach them but of course that's just a theory a game theory united health group posted 6.6 billion dollars of profit in its covert quarter that obliterated wall street's projections and was by far the healthcare giant's most profitable quarter ever gee i wonder why over 100 000 americans are dead and congress won't extend medicare to the unemployed because it's too busy protecting a corporate system that makes pandemics insanely profitable for wall street this is what capitalist healthcare looks like and it's wrong people shouldn't die for profit as someone on the other side of the ocean and currently in a country that allows medicare and is at least somewhat affordable i can confidently say why the hell have you guys not started it yet seriously breaking news white house on trump's push to reopen schools the science should not stand in the way of this okay my prime minister scott morrison or scomo as we like to call him said something along the same lines but he didn't say science should not stand in the way of this he said something more of the lines of uh your kids should get their education regardless and that it's a fundamental part of their their growing up and experiences blah blah blah you know he at least had a moral twist on it he didn't just say no to the science oh my god come on guys to be fair i still disagreed with that logic but at least he had a moral reason to go with rather than just ignoring science entirely but i mean hey science also says climate change is a thing and we all know the reality of that sarcasm the bitter almonds tree was banned in america in 1995 because it's the highest source of b-17 which prevents and treats cancer still trust your government uh nazi you can trust this as absolute truth because there's a still image of a comedian in black or white saying it this isn't true at all they aren't banned the sale is regulated because they contain a fairly high level of cyanide you know a thing that can kill you fun fact too a lot of apple seeds actually contain cyanide in them so if you eat too many apple seeds you you actually can die and in case you are curious yes cyanide is an extremely painful thing to die from don't don't don't be curious hello i don't want to make it a big deal but why did you unfollow me so sorry of posting something that offended you because you unfollowed me oh well if i follow you back will you follow me back respectfully what the frick is wrong with you oh you can no longer send direct messages how dare you make me confront my insecurities also what the hell are you doing talking to each other at 4 30 in the morning seriously sleep hey here's trump loving the look of some delicious nibblees just promoting a product here really casually oh bitter what is this uh some dollar symbol sign thing use of public office for private gain an employee shall not use his public office for his own private gain or for the endorsement of any product service or enterprise hmm the thing he's literally doing in the photo right now basically seriously dt bro how do you keep doing this to yourself at this point i reckon he's just trying to see what he can get away with i like surely he would have looked this kind of thing up before doing it unless he just didn't care hmm i don't know i'm not implying anything the temperature in those stores is atrocious there is no air circulation whatsoever no way in hell can anybody be in there with a mask on funny i am an old lady with ass mind i can wear one in stores with no problem yeah it gets a little hot sometimes but i would rather be a little uncomfortable than end up with a tube shoved down my throat or make another one sick funny how a short old woman can wear a mask and leave her home without a gun but big strong man cry about having to wear one and need a gun to go to subway damn grandma for someone who doesn't carry around a gun you sure know how to fire some shots alert the obama administration secretly installed cameras in all public places they're tracking people with facial recognition software wear a mask that covers your mouth and nose so the software can't identify you oh yes uh it's coming to that point in society where we literally need to make conspiracy theories to educate and encourage people to do the right thing what the hell is wrong with the world in case you haven't noticed you've fallen right into my trap my son hangs out with an autistic kid sometimes and i don't want him to start taking after him and becoming autistic how can i nip this problem in the bud as someone whose mother works with children with autism and other mental difficulties i i hate you so much for your ignorance i suggest you have a strong discussion with your child's other parent and suggest that they do the parenting from now on as you sound like a [ __ ] autism is not contagious but i'm afraid stupidity is so please stop spreading yours i've always hated the idea of people going on about you know and everyone clapped and that kind of stuff but uh friends i am desperate here i am a newly non-vaccinator and i want to write about vaccination dangers for my final thesis in college however i have to use scholarly little journals as my sources when i search deep into gsu's library every article seems to be provax and nothing supporting my argument does anyone have some scholarly docs that i can use to prove my point effectively thank you all the fact that you cannot find any journals to back up your viewpoint may suggest you need to reassess your viewpoint yes stop thinking that your information is being censored from the world it's not it's just been proven wrong that's why no one's written about it oh but this person wrote about it and i can guarantee they're immediately refuted with other better science so shut up on wednesday i took a covert test results came back negative but i just sneezed and this came out of my nose next time make it look like it's on the finger not floating oh you've been hip past you've been struck by a photoshop professional when asked yesterday what will be done of covered outbreaks in schools betsy devos answered you can't plan for something that hasn't happened yet oh oh my god did you not know what the word plan means like oh wow remember when republicans lost their minds over this this guy's selling beans on the resolute desk didn't know a bunch of republicans were getting up and antsy about them having his feet on the desk there but also not surprised and look i know we seem to bag on donald trump a lot with all these face palms but i mean there's just so much content to face palm about him okay it's it's not me he's just walking around with a sign saying kick me on his back and i i i have to okay i have to upon arriving to help get my keys out of my car the aaa guy locked his keys in his car [Laughter] now see what you do is gather all the unlucky charms you can assemble and find then get your keys locked in your car and just leave all those unlucky charms around the house and nearby along the street and such so every aaa guy who comes by accidentally keeps locking their keys in the car and then before you know it you've got a conga line a triple a you just walk down the street and it's all just if we'll just switch to cursive and stick shift cars we could [ __ ] an entire generation like 80 of people in my generation know how to drive stick but okay i love how you talk smack about a generation you raised like it's their fault and not yours one time this dude was being stupid so i said well you can't smell stupid without you and he got really angry and shouted well there's an iron stupor too [Laughter] oh man i wish i could have been there to experience his reaction of realizing that congratulations you played yourself exactly colored exactly create a problem sell a solution see this is exactly why i hate apple i'm sorry i'm that person i will i will not agree with apple yeah successful company all that stuff they actually got a good phone blah blah but just the way they do this this kind of stuff here and the worst part is they only get away with it because they know they can they're like a little sibling who always cries and blames you for stuff that you didn't actually do but your parents take their side because they just they don't believe you yes for some reason i relate to apple as a younger sibling after repeating six times that i want to cancel my comcast xfinity i finally figured out how to get them to stop arguing and actually do what i asked repeatedly for them to do happy about the service so we can resolve this for you i am going to prison sorry to hear about that let me go ahead and process the cancellation for you success well there you have it folks if you ever need to cancel something just let them know you're going to jail then do not follow where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail from amtrak california a train company place okay with all due respect this is terrible advice for trains this might be the dumbest freaking thing i've ever heard governor mike parson these kids have got to get back to school and if they do get cover 19 which they will and they will when they go to school they're not going to the hospitals they're going to go home and they're going to get over it oh wow wow are you ok he's a governor and look at that face he's just like yeah yeah that was that was logical ugh no wonder america's hit the pits scotland is better than wales scotland doesn't have its own language scotland has its own language scottish gaelic aka scottish i swear your brain's so hollow i could turn it into a bagpipe hello internet what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you three years ago a cute guy i worked with wanted to give me a fist bump i thought he was pretending to hold an invisible microphone so i leaned forward and said hello okay no hold up i would absolutely love it if someone who responded to my fist bump like this that is it's so weird and just just a different take on what i was offering i would have oh my god you would have made my heart melt ivanka has some advice for unemployed workers just find a new job oh of course it's so simple ah rest easy now everyone it is time for a classic more relaxing and joyful face palm the classic kid falling over face first sniffing flowers beautiful a nice break from all the stupidity of adults you go little girl you stuff your face in those flowers okay but what if she wasn't actually falling over what if she just genuinely loved the smell so much she just dived straight head first and today's fan arts showcase is mr p mk as bill cipher yes oh my god i love gravity falls it's not the best but it's decent in my opinion i think so too i think it's really good man i haven't watched that show in ages i need to go for a rerun well everybody that does us for another bit of mk today i apologize completely for ruining your day with any of this content that was too just frustrating to deal with don't worry we're in the same boat but if in a weird way you found all the terrible things in today's video quite entertaining please give the video a like to show your support and as always subscribe if you have not yet and click the notification bell so you're always updated on the latest videos while you're at it why not check out some other videos on the channel but with all that said it is my time to scoot off now so i will say farewell to you you are an amazing person as always thank you so much for watching my name's been jack bye bye

Channel: undefined

Views: 338,548

Rating: 4.86204 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/facepalm, facepalm, face palm, reddit facepalm

Id: Fo1ncCu9qQ0

Length: 17min 7sec (1027 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 22 2020