r/AmiTheA**Hole For Taking My Mum's Side AGAINST My Wife?

hello hello there it's your main man marky and welcome back to another episode of r slash am i the a-hole if you love today's bloody good content i want you to smash that like button sit back relax and enjoy today's bloody good episode of our slash am i the a-hole thank you our first post today is by user equal ad 4766 titled am i the a-hole for taking my mom's side and telling my wife that my mom did not verbally abuse her [Music] so my mum and my wife have never been close but i don't think either of them have been in the wrong until this situation they just don't click my wife is really into making soap she sells it on social media and recently quit her job to sell soap full time my mom has literally never said anything negative about the soap but when she was asked to buy it she declined my wife is like a dog with a bone trying to get my mum to buy this soap she asks her every time we see her and when my mom declines my wife starts listing the virtues of the soap and trying to force my mum to smell it she has also brought my mom's finances into it and argued that my mum and stepdad both make good money and speculated about how much my mom spends on her wardrobe which really isn't our business well my mom stopped by the other day to see the kids before she left she used our bathroom and my wife stood outside the door yelling the whole time about how's the soap in there and don't you like it my mom came out looking pissed and my wife immediately offered her a friends and family discount my mom screamed i don't want your effing soap if you aren't making enough money from the soap that isn't my problem and i don't want to hear about the effing soap again and then my mum left my wife immediately asked what i was going to do and i said that i would talk to my mum but my wife should have dropped it with the soap my wife said that wasn't good enough and that my mum had committed verbal abuse i replied that i don't consider that verbal abuse and now my wife is very upset and feels like i'm taking my mom's side and that i should set boundaries with my mom but i feel like my mom kind of set a boundary when she said she didn't want to buy the soap and my wife didn't give an f about that endop is offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i do believe that your nuclear family comes first and ultimately my wife is way more important than my mom and i would not want to devalue her experience i mean that's genuinely a fair point there and in a lot of situations that is the go-to rule it's kind of like you know she's in your court and your mom is in another court your wife is more important and you don't want to devalue your wife's experience but this one to me this is a situation where you can make an exception to that rule i feel like it's not an entire make or break situation it's akin to the stupid mlm crap that goes on your wife is acting like an mlm snake oil peddler and being like how's the soap oh you don't like the soap just try the soap it's so good for you oh my god the soap i'll give you a friends and family discount your mom is right to be pissed off your mum tried to set boundaries your wife didn't respect those boundaries and continue to push those boundaries this to me is not a situation where your wife is justified in her actions she's continuously being pushy she's trying to peddle something that your mom doesn't want and your wife is being a dick your wife is turning this into a situation it doesn't need to be that was not verbal abuse that was her being shut down after she continues to harass your mom f your wife she needs to be put into the naughty corner with a bloody dunce hat on because she's acting like the village idiot i have no remorse for that woman i would have done the exact same that your mom did because that's effing annoying so good on you op not the a-hole lipstick on says right well your wife was verbally harassing her so she got what she deserved not the a-hole your wife needed to hear that she's probably all up her friend's asses about her soap and driving them away too your wife needs to learn that no means no it could be the best soap in the whole world but nobody's gonna buy it from an annoying nag especially if that person is standing outside the bathroom when i'm peeing yelling at me to smell the soap that's crossing a boundary i like to pee in peace i'm guessing opie's mom wanted the same not the a-hole you stand outside the bathroom yelling at me while i'm peeing i'm coming out and [ __ ] in your hands hello how's that smell carol lionel messi peters says you're the a-hole for not stopping your wife from harassing your mother over the soap earlier not the a-hole for taking your mom's side though exactly he should have gotten involved way before it got to this point yeah my partner's happiness would be a priority for me but not at the cost of my mother's patience or rather anyone's patience more than that it's the fact that it's pretty clearly not really about the soap as much as the sails if opi's wife was just really proud of the soap eager for op's mum to try it and offered opi's mom a gratuitous bar that opie's mum rejected that would be one thing but they talk about the mum's finances and offer of a friends and family discount evidently after trying to sell it to her full price up until that point makes this really ugly on op's wife's parts if you're demanding compensation you have no right to be offended when someone declines the transaction no matter who they are flexible corn says i'll talk to mum about it was a weak response that lets your wife think she's in the right you should have stood up to your wife about her constant pestering especially after your wife asked you what you are going to do about it millennial bull crepe says not the a-hole so your wife can make soap she should learn how to sell it spoiler alert it's not by irritating people into submission if she sells it at a farmer's market does she chase people screaming at them to buy soap that mental image i got was priceless i can imagine a lady at a farmer's market chasing people around and shouting doesn't it smell nice it's the lavender and our last comment by lucy 2171 says it's weird that your wife keeps pressuring your mom to buy the soap the way she is acting is almost like she's part of an mlm company also it is totally overstepping the line bringing your parents finances into it but i also find it bizarre your mother wouldn't buy any soap and support her business i know she doesn't have to but you'd think she would want to support her daughter-in-law i was thinking the wife had mlm vibes too she sounds like the essential oil people now i had the same thought too about it was odd that mum didn't try to support the wife's business to begin with but maybe she just truly didn't like the smell or texture of the soaps it's not a big deal to buy one bar then never use it but if she bought one the wife would expect her to buy more most people don't buy stuff knowing they aren't going to use it unless it's from a kid's fundraiser or something similar after the first refusal mum probably just buckled down on principle it's pretty much that since soap is a constant buy plus the daughter might feel insulted if the mum just never used the soap too the mom is screwed either way lol our next post is by user new job a-hole titled am i the a-hole for telling my old boss that it's just business so i got my first job out of college at a relatively small privately owned business in my fields i had interviewed at larger companies but i liked the smaller company feel and i thought it would be a great opportunity to get experience in a lot of different areas so that i could advance my career or even step into a larger role at the company sooner than i could at a large one the current owner of the company had purchased it from the founder a couple years before i arrived so he inherited a lot of the clients and contracts that the original owner had acquired the owner didn't believe in annual employee reviews and always said that if anyone had an issue to just talk with him whenever so after i had been there for about 18 months i called a meeting with him and asked for a raise he told me he would think about it and get back to me he called me into his office a couple days later and said he ran some numbers and that he could only afford to offer me a token raise and some extra vacation time with the promise that he would re-evaluate things in a year he told me it was just business no hard feelings this was frustrating to me because i had already been heading many of our more lucrative contracts and projects and i knew we were bringing in a lot of revenue that was directly related to my work about six months later one of our clients that had been with the company since the previous owner and that i had been working closely with since i started approached me about taking a position with them that would be a huge jump up for me professionally i thought about it for maybe a week and decided to take it i put in my two-week notice and my boss was pissed he called me ungrateful and that i was leaving them high and dry with one week left he told me not to bother coming back into the office for the final week even though i was in the middle of helping people transition into my projects at my new job one of the first tasks was evaluating the contract that my previous job had i asked my new boss if there was any kind of conflict of interest but he said i wasn't the only one working on it and he wanted my opinion so i tried to be as diligent as i could and found that there were better and more affordable options for us than my previous job the other people evaluating the contract found the same thing so the higher-ups decided to not renew the contract with my previous spouse when he found out about it my old boss reached out to me and called me a trader and accused me of purposefully telling my new boss to end the contract out of spite against him i told him i don't appreciate being accused of such things and that it was just business no hard feelings a former co-worker reached out to me shortly after and said that with the lost revenue from the contract it's possible the company may need to lay people off or close altogether he said my old boss fully blames me for it i feel like i was just doing my job and did nothing wrong endop has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i think i might be the a-hole for telling my new job that the contract they had with my old boss is a bad one i'll be real i wasn't expecting you to think that you're the a-hole for that i thought you'd think you're the a-hole for saying um nothing personal it's just business and yeah i know it sucks that the run-on effect from that is that a bunch of people get laid off and the boss blames it on you you kind of did set yourself up to be a target there by saying that to him but you know sometimes spite like that feels good if this is the environment where it's okay to burn that bridge and it won't screw you in the future then thumbs up for that but there's situations where doing something like this will come back to bite you with the way that businesses are you do kind of want to be saving as much money as possible and getting the best you know bang for your buck through a contract it's not particularly your fault that this contract fell through with the old business you genuinely were just doing your job and if anything uh that old boss should be blaming the company for finding someone better and then he should be doing business better and matching that contract ultimately this all comes down to your old boss i would say i'd say you're a bit of a dick for saying it back to him but it was well deserved so i'm gonna go with not the a-hole for this one secret outlet 736 says not the a-hole your ex-boss didn't appreciate the work you did so you left you and a few other people found better options you didn't do this out of spite i'd say you did your job and he's just butthurt about it professionally opie needs to look after his own career and interest consequently that means doing a good job and looking after the interest of his current employer xboss made everything personal which is bad business conduct his entire conduct is very unprofessional stemming from how he handled the raise request to accusing op of sabotaging his business the success of the business is sometimes a reflection of ownership completely apart from moral that's what you get kind of judgments a company that will die if one of their clients finds a better option is already dead carib 92 says not the a-hole please don't be guilted by this i've worked for a small private company as well led a massive project which was also one of the most profitable and didn't see a diamond bonus left the company right after small companies always have the same excuses not making enough money limited contracts etc but then they pull up in the most expensive cars take the most expensive trips etc they forget that it's the team that holds the company it floats you did the right thing i'm a no-nonsense type of employee so i would have done the same my last boss owner was practically wiping his crocodile tears with hundred dollar bills when he told me he feels bad that he can afford a new bmw while others me second in command and our company can't ridiculous bosses forget that a company can be without its employees and employees that are treated well usually go above and beyond for those that value them this is why i've stayed with my side job for 11 years my boss makes sure the team is taken care of treating us to lunch and encouraging us to strengthen our skill sets she has our backs and we've fought for her and work our tails off to make sure the business succeeds hell she even came to my dissertation defense and took notes it wasn't anything close to her field but she came and participated that generates serious loyalty and to buck bill says not the a-hole your old boss had to do the best thing that he could for his company and your loyalty to the company ended with your last paycheck now your loyalty is to your new company and you have to do the best that you can for your new employer since what you found was a common finding amongst a capable group it sounds like your previous employer was simply not offering the product or service that he could or should have his old boss did not do the best thing for the company the best thing would have been giving op a good enough raise and making sure he kept him and the contract he did the best thing to line his own pockets posted by user 617-09713 titled am i the a-hole for uninviting my sister to my wedding for what she told my fiance now my male 27 fiance female 25 has an obvious permanent burn scar from an accident that caused her mother her only parents to pass away from injury my fiance had a long recovery and it's been seven years the scar is on her collarbone it goes down her chest but isn't showing unless she's wearing scoop slash square tops she often wears hoodies and jackets to cover up she puts this cream i don't know what ladies call it but it's supposed to turn skin color or something i'm not sure but my fiance calls it foundation that's one degree brighter than her skin color i absolutely adore her she's pretty smart ambitious and the list goes on what happened was unfortunate and i'm glad she's at peace with herself and more confident my family love her how can they not she's a member of the family my mom makes sure she takes part in every family function and things like shopping and decorating other things however my sister made comments about my fiance's scar several times i've called her out in her behavior several times to get her to stop because she was hurting me before my fiance with her backhanded and insensitive comments i told my fiance she had every right to cut my sister out and not deal with her bull crap but she has been forgiving and respectful of my entire family our wedding is in february my fiance went shopping for the wedding dress this is where the issue started my fiance showed the wedding dress to my sister i didn't see it but i was told it was a spaghetti strap dress my fiance likes this stuff anyways my sister saw it and went nuts and she started criticizing her choice and said that she should have gotten a high neck or a dual wedding dress to cover up the scar she argued with my fiance about it i went to my family's house and i confronted her i yelled at her after she told me my fiance needed to return the dress and get a proper one so that guests won't focus on her burn scar and use it as the topic of conversation and gossip i told her that she's not invited to our wedding she isn't welcome to my wedding with this entitled attitude of hers and her insensitivity and disrespect we argued for half an hour and then i left in exactly an hour my mum and dad called and berated me saying my sister was crying after i uninvited her and that i had no right to uninvite her she's my sister and was just trying to help out and given advice and avoid any unnecessary drama at the wedding my mom said my fiance can keep the dress but suggested to wear a pride shawl as a neutral solution i stopped responding to my mom's calls and texts after that family members were upset that my sister was uninvited and wanted me to invite her again because this will make family look bad in front of outsiders and guests endo p has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole my family says what i did was disrespectful for the whole family and its reputation and i needed to fix it i personally feel that this is a situation where op should definitely not try and cover up for this family if there were a time this would be it to humiliate the family in front of outsiders and guests opie you can't let your sister get away with this unnecessary drama before the wedding just to avoid it at the wedding and then opie's parents and the extended family members enabling that behavior and defending the sister especially your mum saying wear a pride shoal as a neutral solution how about no how about the mom goes and finds a neutral solution that shuts the sister up if opi's wife intentionally didn't want to cover up and the argument was about covering up why is a neutral solution covering it up that doesn't make any sense that's giving the sister what she wants it's good that you stopped responding to the calls and texts after that if the family members want to go and make drama about this uninvite them from the wedding too they don't need to be there if they're going to drag your day down not the a-hole and in the comments broken ale says not the a-hole and uninvite anyone who insults your fiance in my opinion and opie replies i'm definitely standing my grounds this is mine and my fiancee's big day not the a-hole also foundation is exactly what it sounds like a foundation for the rest of your makeup etc usually used to even out skin tones to make blemishes less obvious and judy valuable replies not the a-hole and thank you for sticking up for your fiance tell your family members that your sister thinks your fiance should be ashamed of a scar from a tragic accident and should hide it so you disinvited her until she apologizes and if they don't see anything wrong with what your sister said take this as an opportunity to trim the guest list and save more money by the way princess eugenie of england had surgery done in her spine as a child and has scars because of it when she got married a few years ago she deliberately wore a backless dress because her scars are a part of who she is and she's not ashamed of them as a princess her dress had to be approved by the queen of england because of her station and because the entire world would be watching her wedding the queen did not think there was anything inappropriate about her wearing a dress that showcased several scars down her back if a dress like that is proper and appropriate enough for the queen i think your mother and sister could keep their mouths shut and accept whatever your lovely bride wants to wear i hope you both have a long and wonderful life together obita dicta says not the a-hole your mom is ridiculous to suggest your fiance needs to compromise with anyone on her wedding dress european is not the a-hole his sister and mother now those two surely are that rotten apple didn't fall far from the tree and serge rn for the win says what a small person your sister is your fiance's burn scar is a badge of courage i work in surgery and i've done many many burn reconstructions that's not an easy road to go down and your fiance should be praised for going through all that and coming out the other side with her gracious nature intact your sister owes you and your fiance a huge apology your mother can offer one as well this ill factor is childish and reprehensible not the a-hole at all and mimosa usagi replies she sounds jealous of the fiance opie does your sister have a history of criticizing or being rude to your girlfriends i know a few girls that seem to hate any girls their brothers brought home and i was always put off by them because it seemed like they resented anyone that took attention away from them for even a split second also depending on opie's sister's ages she might just be parroting what she hears at home that also goes hand in hand with opie's mom asking for a shawl and the worry they will not look good in front of the others so while they may be acting friendly and comfortable in front of op behind his back they may be doing complete opposite not the a-hole i'm a burn survivor and my scars are on my chest and upper arm i can't begin to explain the mental toll that these so-called helpful comments have on a person i've had many people pull my blouse closed over my scars because they were showing or suggest what i should and shouldn't wear because of them i've had comments about how at least it didn't damage my face and i can hide my scars it took years to be okay with my scars what your family is doing is abusive and psychologically damaging your sister is not being helpful she's being cruel and your parents need a huge wake-up call if they think this cruelty is acceptable you're right to put your foot down and not allow your sister or anyone else to abuse your fiance under the guise of being helpful and our last post is by user terriblemother238474 titled am i the a-hole for making my mother homeless after she mocked the death of my fiance so this happened today so it's all still too fresh i apologize in advance since my english is not my native language back when the pandemic started my mom was evicted and i offered her to stay at my place until she sorted things out during this time august last year my fiance of six years passed unexpectedly after contracting the plague and i've been totally depressed since then basically focusing on work so that i don't have to think about it it still really hurts it doesn't help that my mom has been talking a lot of things about vaccines and how the corona is a hoax how it's a chinese plan to dominate the world etc it's exhausting it didn't stop when my fiance died which i thought it would back when it happened she said something along the lines of she died because she was scared she probably died of something else according to her only people that are afraid of the virus dies i've put up with this because otherwise she would be homeless and i thought i could ignore the drama cue to today i got home and there was a big fancy cake at the dinner table i was confused and thought maybe i forgot her birthday since i'm not thinking straight in the past few months mom was in the other room when i asked what the cake was about and she came to the living room doing a funny dance all excited and said that it was to celebrate the 200 000 deaths in my country reached today i live in brazil i stood still for some time thinking i heard wrong i asked her again what it was and she asked me if i haven't seen the news we've reached this milestone today and she wanted to celebrate all the idiots that died to this hoax i was taken aback i grabbed the cake and threw it straight at the wall she started screaming i tried to remain as calm as i could and asked if she was mentally ill or if she needed help how could she think it would be funny to celebrate something like this especially since i'm still mourning she told me i should get over it and if she died it was just because she was a weak person so i was better off and she would probably have better grandkids i decided to escort her out of my house gave her some money and told her to stay the night at a hotel and only come back in the morning to grab her stuff i also told her to never contact me again i spent the last few hours grabbing all of her stuff and putting it on the outside of the apartment so that she can collect it tomorrow as of right now at least three family members have reached out to me telling me i'm a terrible person for throwing out the person that raised me they said that the cake is just her dark sense of humor and that i'm a fool for not entertaining it i told them all some terrible things and to take care of her if they're so fond of her sense of humor of course now i'm questioning what kind of person leaves their mom homeless but i really don't want to see her ever again am i the a-hole and dopey has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i was called an a-hole by family members who think it's absurd to make my mother homeless but i think i was in the right unfortunately no one so far seems to agree with me so i thought about asking in this subreddit i mean genuinely in a time like this it can be seen as a very heartless thing to be kicking your mother out and there never really does seem to be a good reason for it but i would say that this is a good reason to be kicking your mother out especially when she has other people to go to there are other family members who are dog piling on you so of course she can and probably will go to them they're just as much in the wrong here if they deny her that but celebrating hitting a 200 000 death milestone and on top of that rubbing your life partner's death in your face and saying she deserved it and saying that she was weakened you can go find someone else and have better grandkids with them that is that is rock bottom that is stone cold harsh i would hope that if you told the family that that they would be on your side and be like you know what that was warranted but then again that might lead them to attack you more not take her in leave her homeless further who knows this kind of seems like a lose-lose situation it's incredibly depressing and i hope you can get through it but as it stands i don't think you're the a-hole for this one ronit-sarangi in the comments says now i'm questioning what kind of person leaves their mom homeless the kind of person whose mom mocks the death of 200 000 people which includes a dear loved one your mom can take her dark sense of humor to a hotel and to those who entertain it what is wrong with those people you're not the aholop do not take her back this mother is clearly a bolsonaro supporter because this is the kind of evil bull crap that he's been pushing to his people as soon as i read the title of the post i knew opie would turn out to be not the a-hole kicking the mother out was totally the right thing to do and opie should cut her and any family members siding with her from her life ryan 503 says not the a-hole absolutely not this is disgusting behavior and you do not want it in your life at all i doubt you'll change but maybe it'll be a wake-up call to your mom i'm sorry about your fiance disgusting is an awesome word to use as i read it i kept thinking this is absolutely effed what kind of monster of a mother would do any of those things never mind all of them opie not the a-hole and go no contact without ever looking back and amb lily says oh my god not the a-hole i was expecting you to be exaggerating when i read the title but the more i read the more horrible it got you should have thrown the cake at her i'm so sorry for your loss our first post is by user akl 7760913 titled am i the a-hole for spending 600 weekly on my son and not his brothers so i'm a single dad with three sons in order jack 23 austin 19 kevin 16. kevin has a severe learning disability low functioning autism i look after him at home after he was failed by three care homes because there was neglect the last care home hadn't managed to wash his hair in four weeks or give him a shower in three weeks and other problems that were never addressed and a complicit argument with sc who were awful and nasty i couldn't let him live like that jack and dustin both live at home they didn't want him to return home and were being negative towards him they said since he's back home they won't be involved in his care i'm not sure why they want this for their brother to be treated as less than just because of his special needs i know it's not easy for them for kevin and me but he's their brother i started looking after him myself routine has changed but i managed it first i started working from home so i could spend more time with him but it didn't work also because i'm solely taking care of him and everyone else in the house doesn't help with simple tasks it's just exhausting to be doing everything alone i decided to hire a paid carer that takes about 600 weekly austin and jack knew about it and they were upset with me asking me why i was spending that much money on kevin alone and demanded equality and to be given the same amount of money weekly too i was stunned when they both lashed out at me for playing favorites and treating kevin differently saying he was my spoiled favorite they started complaining about needing money to fix their phones new tv a new dishwasher etc i told them that i had no choice since no one wanted to participate in his care and that they're capable adults who can start earning their own money if they wanted they said they weren't obligated to take part in his care so i should stop holding that over their heads and demanded that i give them the same amount of money weekly we argued back and forth and they both took turns to try to guilt me for what i did they refused to drop it and other family members got involved my sister berated me saying i was being unfair and that their reaction is understandable they are both 23-19 they can move out if they want they don't pay rent or groceries the arguments seem to be going nowhere they've been giving me this silent treatment since then and say that i'm playing favorites i need to mention that i in no way asked or expected jack and austin to be responsible for their brother i never asked them so i have no idea why they keep saying i'm trying to get back at them for refusing to help it's not like that at all op has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i tried to reason with them and i might be an a-hole for not understanding their feelings and arguing further [Music] i'm gonna go purely off of what we've read here and say opie is not the a-hole for this situation those two are acting like entitled brats and we don't have any information further that would indicate why they don't want to look after this sibling i feel like it's a tricky and intense situation to be stuck in and i really hope that kevin gets the help that he needs it's not right for those two to be demanding six hundred dollars each when that six hundred dollars is going to look after kevin who obviously needs the help and they don't want to provide it and opie still has a job and can't always provide that care it's a rock and a hard place situation and i don't think there really is any winning in this one so for that i have to say not the a-hole purple mp12 says they're adults adults living in a home should be helping with cooking cleaning etc regardless of the situation even kids should but adults really should no they don't need to help with his care but they do need to do other household tasks kevin is a minor child with special needs of course you should spend more money on him do they have jobs how do they come to expect you to support them into adulthood rent free i understand the 19 year old not paying rent but not the 23 year olds no neither of them have jobs i've been understanding and didn't want to make them feel as if i'm being controlling and treating them differently from kevin but it obviously got out of control i'm dealing with so much and i really can't take this anymore dude they can get jobs that's not being controlling it's making sure they're responsible adults which they're not right now it's not like kevin can even get a job so they should be thankful they have that ability i've already talked to them about this jack wants to get a job but it's austin who keeps demanding things from me and being in jack's ear about the difference in treatment it's clear to me that jack has been affected by what his brother tells him gone baby thoughts says not the a-hole you're under a lot of pressure here for many reasons most of which are outside of your control it's clear that your other sons see kevin as a burden wanting nothing to do with him but also as a threat from the perspective of your time money and attention i suspect this goes back to their childhood where they always felt like his special needs meant they got less than i think family therapy is highly in order here your sons do not appear to have the emotional maturity to manage themselves properly in this situation and the last thing you need is more stress hoping you're able to sit them down have an open and productive chat with them and get the ball moving on seeing someone that can help you navigate this and op says i've mentioned therapy for them and austin laughed saying there was nothing wrong with them to seek counselling and that i'm the one being neglectful and playing favorites playing favorites with your minor disabled son austin sounds like an entitled narcissist what the hell how many posts have we seen here where the neurotypical child posts about their parents neglecting them in favor of a special needs child and are reassured that being neglected just because you were neurotypical is not okay but here we have the parents perspective and suddenly it's fine to focus all the attention on the special needs childs there is a ton that is missing in this post what is kevin's behavior like does he have constant meltdowns that have disrupted the neurotypical children's lives and education when they were younger were they told when they were in school that they couldn't have extracurriculars because kevin couldn't be brought along or left alone and disrupting his routine would make him melt down what is the origin of all this resentment it didn't come from nowhere and it doesn't make the neurotypical children entitled narcissists to wish that they'd had the same opportunities their peers had and resent the source of the neglect the parents who couldn't and wouldn't give the neurotypical children equal time if austin had posted here instead of talking about how kevin has always been their father's 100 focus and he was put on the back burner and expected to just be okay without any parental attention and now he resents his father for this would your judgment be the same and lilu lay replies if he was a minor child i might give this perspective a lot more credence as it is he's a goddamn adult whose father is still financially supporting him he pays no rent and doesn't kick in for groceries and he needs to act like it demanding his father give him 600 a week because his special needs minor child actually requires paid care for that amount is ridiculous and i honestly wouldn't accept that bullcrap from a minor child either jesus effing christ a lot of food for thought on that one hey that gives a very good perspective of the situation and i i honestly you know kind of thought of it like that and i didn't think of it like that at the same time what are your thoughts on this one would you put up with it or what would you do in this situation our next post is by user select description 35 titled am i the a-hole for excluding my sister slash making her feel bad for not donating blood so a couple days ago i got an email about some blood drive going on and they were asking me to donate i'm a frequent blood donor but this time i thought i should ask my family to donate as well my younger brother and three cousins agreed but my youngest sister 19 female said she was scared of needles and didn't want to i am scared of needles even those smaller ones for your finger but that fear has nothing to do with the fear of dying in my opinion but cool donating has to be something someone wants to do so i respect her decision and didn't even push it went to the drive donated then got back one of my cousins couldn't because of some pills he'd recently taken for a headache but everyone else did when we got back i was hungry and too lazy to make food so i opted to go to town and grab some burgers or something in town as takeaway and maybe some other stuff for myself and my brother and cousins as a treat for donating my sister asked where her invitation was and i said she could come but i'm not paying for her she then got pissy saying that i was being unfair because i know she couldn't because she's scared i told her that i have no problem with that but this was my treat to thank them for donating with me she brought up my cousin who didn't donate but he was really enthusiastic and wanted to only stopped by the medication elsie would have donated as well so he's included for trying she's still giving me the silent treatment and my mom thinks that i was an a-hole for excluding her and making her feel bad am i the a-hole [Music] so we've got two people that can or cannot or will or will not donate for two separate reasons i would say that both are legitimate reasons for not donating blood although the cousin had absolutely no choice to donate blood there i think she absolutely knows that there is a difference between the medical problems and her being scared of needles here and i understand at the same time that both opie and her are both wrong for their decisions on this she shouldn't be expecting free food from op for this flaw in logic that she's found and op shouldn't be giving free food because of that floor and logic also op is choosing a side and he's going to die on that hill and she's trying to push her own agenda in this one as well i'm just going to go with everyone sucks here at the end of the day it doesn't really matter but pointing it out like this everyone sucks here and dopey has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole they say i'm conflicted since i paid for my cousin even though he technically just accompanied us in the end so by technicality however he would literally have filled the form out and was ready to go so yeah aslan lives on says everyone sucks here she was acting a little entitled but you are treating everyone and purposely excluding her almost as punishment for being scared about donating you're the a-hole for making her feel bad about not donating i'm absolutely terrified of needles to the point of nearly passing out from the fear and i've still given blood and ob can decide who they spend their money on if they want to thank their brother and cousins for donating with them then that's their choice sister didn't donate so she doesn't get the thanks username 52 says you're the a-hole i'm scared too you're able to be a frequent donor i have a friend who would want to give blood but faints at the side of a needle that would mean both not donating blood and causing a way bigger problem for everyone who works there i went the other day and finally talked mai way older than 19 years old husband into trying even though i've been going regularly for years his temperature was like 0.2 high and he couldn't give but i was happy he finally tried it wasn't like you stopped for burgers on the way home it was like you were punishing your sister for not giving blood instead of encouraging her to think about it in the future also you should have people look into the questions before they go no reason for your cousin to have gone if he took aspirin the day before the first question is do you feel healthy today your sister can honestly answer no if she's terrified heart racing etc and not be eligible you're the a-hole i worked at a blood bank as one of the people who actually take your blood school drives are the worst due to the peer pressure i had a person have the worst reaction i've ever seen while i was doing the intake evaluation straight up passed out when i did the finger stick it took hours to get them well enough to move to the facilities on-site nurse it's a miracle they didn't hit their head on the way down oh and while they were not stable we couldn't process the usual amount of the potential donors as a bed and a blood bank nurse had to evaluate them frequently if your sis was scared bullying her into donating is a disservice she can be helpful in other ways organizing another drive bringing snacks or just being the person to take you and pick you up well reading further down the comments it looks like the consensus here is you're the a-hole and i can definitely see myself swapping to when you're the a-hold agreement for this one he was being the a-hole in this situation it does look like and it just makes sense that it would be counterproductive to get her to even be there to donate blood it would just waste a lot of people's time and it wouldn't be fun for anyone so yeah i can swap mine to your the a-hole seems like a good idea posted by user triple troubled mom titled am i the a-hole for not wanting to name my children after someone else's stillborn babies throw away because my family uses reddit and while they might recognize this i didn't want it attached to my main account also on mobile my fiance and i are expecting triplets and found out they're all boys a month or so ago his aunt had been pregnant with triplets five years ago two boys and a girl the boys did not survive the entire pregnancy and she went into early labor we all felt terrible for her and most of the family grieved with her ever since discovering that i was having triplets his aunt has been doting on me and telling me all about her triplet pregnancy it's been overbearing but i try not to say much because i know it's a sore spot and she's probably grieving all over again because of my pregnancy and i do feel a little guilty even though i haven't done anything if that makes sense she's always asking me if i feel movement and seems worried that i will lose one or two of them i have had three single pregnancies previously different father and my doctor isn't incredibly concerned for my three boys but does caution that multiples comes with risks anyway me and my fiance have discussed names several times and still haven't firmly decided on any his aunt offered us the names of her two boys first and middle they are from the lord of the rings and other books that she's read that i've never heard of and while i'm a lord of the rings fan i just don't like the names i just kind of shrugged when she offered and said that i'd think about it and was hoping she'd drop it but there has been three occasions that she had said something like how's little samwise and dritz doing does their brother have a name yet and at one point we were discussing other names when she walked in we were at his grandmother's her mother and she asked if we weren't using her names as if we had actually agreed to before i finally spoke up and told her that i felt she was getting too attached to my unborn babies really i said no we don't like those names and i feel you're attaching yourself to my unborn children way too much they aren't your lost twins reborn and you need to stop acting like it and while i know that was harsh to say to a grieving mother regardless of how long it's been i'm going to excuse myself as a grumpy pregnant woman who is generally non-confrontational we went home shortly after and while most of the family is indifferent some have said that i should have spoken to her nicely and not told her i didn't like her son's names i've also been told that i should apologize and one person even suggested using just the middle names i honestly don't even know how to spell them or walk book series they're from but they're ridiculous so am i the a-hole and opie has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i believe i am the a-hole because i yelled spoke strongly at a grieving mother and told her i didn't like her son's names look i can agree with you on that point there a lot of the times in these decisions you know just yelling at someone and hurting their feelings doesn't particularly make you an [ __ ] for doing that yes if you want someone off your back you can be nice about it but some people don't take positive reinforcement as a sign to stop doing it sometimes people only stop when you negatively reinforce something and yes it's an a-whole thing from the outsides to negatively and reinforce a point but sometimes that's what you have to do to get someone just to stop because they won't take a positively reinforcing no as an answer i can understand people giving this one in everyone's sexier judgment but i'm gonna give this one a not the a-hole judgment because yeah he hurt her feelings and yes she's grieving there were good ways and bad ways to go about this one and i wasn't in the room but i'm assuming that this situation warranted opie giving this harsh response saying i'm sorry but i don't like the names i understand that you're grieving it's all good but please stop i would sympathize with op here saying that it's a spur-of-the-moment thing and they've got their own demons to handle but i also see arguments for everyone sexier therefore i agree with people that say that as well and disagree with my judgment but i'm going with not the a-hole do the pingu says everyone sucks here she was intrusive and you were quite harsh i would have stopped at please don't name our babies we are going to name them ourselves yeah definitely everyone sucks here just because she's played nice for all these months doesn't give her the right to finally snap the aunt wasn't receiving any feedback on her actions so she assumed what she was doing was okay she had multiple opportunities to correct the behavior appropriately but didn't act on them the aunt shouldn't have pushed it so much obviously because she was stepping over the line but opie needed to correct it sooner this avoiding dealing with a problem doesn't give you the green light to say hurtful things when you finally snap letting something slide the first time it comes up is fine but you have to deal with it once it becomes an issue and the more you ignore it the worse it will be a simple those are lovely names but we want to use something that has meaning for us with a follow-up of we haven't changed our minds we will be using our own names if needed would have been far better leaving it to the point where aunt has deluded herself into believing you'll use the names and you've lost the plot while having to talk her down from a far worse place is always going to end badly everyone sucks here amara undone says everyone sucks here i was going to go with no one being an a-hole until i saw what you said to her pregnancy hormones aren't an excuse for saying things that are frankly cruel you've carried three healthy pregnancies to term you have no idea how she feels or what she's going through instead of politely yet firmly telling her you don't want to use the names because they aren't your taste and or it would make you uncomfortable to do so you took a bit of a cruel shot at her however it sounds like she could use the help of a professional therapist which would be infinitely more helpful than someone telling her these aren't your dead sons reborn dready fair says not the a-hole you're right she was projecting on your unborn children and that can move quickly into unhealthy sometimes you just have to put and say things to get people to stand down otherwise they will just keep doing it alyssa hargreaves says not the a-hole i get she's grieving again because triplets and all but that doesn't give her the right to try to treat them as do-overs suggesting names is fine offering the names are fine but when you're basically demanding that the parents use them it's over the line she's implied heavily that you agreed and you haven't yes you were a little harsh but honestly i don't see her getting the point any other way until they're born and she sees the announcement and then it blows up even larger because she convinced herself that you were using the names and if you can't even tell people the origin of names then you shouldn't be forced to use them and those names though samwise is at least like passable still in shock over here that this woman expected another person to name her kid after drizzit's durden good fantasy name horrible name for a real person posted by user t.a salary titled am i the a-hole for telling my boss i don't believe in loyalty and it's unreasonable to expect me to not quit for a better paid job so i worked at my first job for six years they changed me from ground zero on everything i had a great boss who fought for my promotions and in those six years my salary doubled got an offer from a more prestigious company with better growth opportunities and double the salary edited maths are hard we're talking substantial money 120k versus 250k i quit without thinking twice and thought it was more respectful not to ask my boss to use any of his political capital to get me a match he couldn't part of my new comp is stock in the new company and the salary is likely more than his pay so i simply gave him my notice and explained my transition plan boss was truly devastated and very very angry we both stayed professional throughout the discussion but it got heated and he questioned my loyalty as if it's a character flaw i said my view is i paid him and the company back with my hard work so we're at the very least even arguably they got a bargain deal because i could have jumped ship for more money two years ago should i have handled any of this differently my wife and some friends say that i'm being rather cold and calculating i should have shown more loyalty since the company gave me so much i think it's disrespectful to assume i didn't give them anything less than enough in return i know my worth and my contribution to the company's bottom line i've seen people walked out of the door after two decades with a pink slip and no one shed a tear the morning after i respect my old boss but what the hell is loyalty to your job supposed to even mean you've made a good argument and i'm convinced that this is not the a-hole judgment it seems that yes he is offended but if he's not going to be offended and upset at the pink slip treatments it seems like his loyalties lie to the bottom line of the company and how much money he's making if it means he can potentially get you back on board obviously he's going to do every manipulation tactic in the book that he can so he doesn't lose the company money and in turn his own salary i'm not on board with that boss's manipulation and what he's doing to you you absolutely are more than welcome to leave the company he's giving you even more reason to do so so i can't fault you for that not the a-hole and in the comments cadillac blood says not the a-hole i was ready to say you're an [ __ ] and give you the whole fine line between honesty and rudeness talk but to be honest i see absolutely nothing wrong with your course of action you worked there you did your thing and got a better offer let the boss know when the boss asked why you explained it to him there isn't much reason for him to be mad except he got frustrated that you have more than two brain cells loyalty to the company doesn't mean you should turn down good career opportunities it means not spreading i don't know company secrets or talking crap about your workplace and stuff between skill replies company loyalty is a one-way street your employer only cares about it as long as it benefits them in 99 of professional jobs no company would hold your hand and sacrifice for the employee if they were struggling and hurting the team it's basically just yet another way capital owners try to keep workers from making things difficult for them loyalty to your employer in our modern economy sounds like such a futile idea growing up my dad worked for a pretty big company for about 20 years but he got sick when i was in high school and was put on permanent disability he passed about 15 years later and when going through his affairs i couldn't find his life insurance policy i called hr at the previous company to see if it was possibly the same policy he had when he worked there turns out it was because the company continued to pay for all of his insurance benefits and a few other things even though he hadn't worked there in almost 15 years a couple hours later i got a call back from the ceo expressing his condolences apparently he called my dad a few times a year to check on him not only that he knew where i went to college that i was a teacher my husband's name and that i was living out of state this man had thousands of employees and yet he was so good to my dad a man who hadn't worked for his company in 15 years he and his company are definitely part of that one percent yeah that is great to hear just sad that it's always the exception and not the rule louden's two says not the a-hole i've seen people walked out of the door after two decades with a pink slip yep and your boss would have happily done this with you as well you're talking about more than doubling your salary and you usually only get that type of bump when you switch employers my take is if they wanted to keep you they should have kept your salary competitive the whole time i hope you did your due diligence though more money doesn't make it a better place to work and op replies thanks in all fairness i know for a fact my old boss would have fought for me but agreed that if it was between him and me for example i'm the one walking out of the door so i take the same approach i'll put my family and our financial stability over him every day the opportunity was too good to pass on either way i'm fortunate to like my new team but i was offered a job with a fang of my profession so even if i need to be absolutely miserable here for two years and then jump it's worth it to pad the resume don't think i'll need to do the jump though and feypiper says not the a-hole i do think that you could have handled it better just because this could bite you if you need to get a reference or something happens with your new job this was one of those you're right but you shouldn't say it situations at the same time that's only a pragmatic consideration and from a mana standpoint you were fine this is just old boomer mentality on your old boss's parts and dope replies thank you can i ask you a blunt question this being the internet at all do you see a way to handle it better without being disingenuous i come from a very blunt culture russia and had pretty honest communication with my boss when i am asked aren't you being disloyal my first instinct is to directly answer the question as asked i'm fine if it's viewed as rude or cold in the eyes of an american just curious if there's a middle ground that i'm not thinking of that would allow me to stay true to my character without hurting feelings i think this may be an american thing possibly just a year old boss thing because you would absolutely not be asked this question by anyone i've worked for in the uk employers should expect you to look out for yourself loyalty to the company is ridiculous they certainly wouldn't be loyal to you if it stopped suiting them people have suggested making him aware you were looking would have been a good plan but that could have put you at risk of being fired for a petty reason just because of his strange attitude you need to look out for yourself when it comes to your employment obviously be a good employee but turning down double your salary would be ludicrous not the a-hole i saw you mention the uk and thought this was going to be a totally different direction i sometimes wanted to pull my hair out when reading project requests from our uk colleagues email the length of a 10 page memo and they never get to directly telling you what they want from you culture clash at its best i can't imagine them asking a direct question such as where's your loyalty in the first place to be honest thanks for your contribution and now update probably a bit mundane but some folks wanted an update took my old boss out for a beer to not burn that bridge as some of you have suggested we sat in an outside pub garden for all the health conscious redditors both had a great time a couple months helped us cool off and getting together turned into a lot of reminiscing about the good old times together it also got us talking even more frankly about the things that would be viewed too political if we were still employed by the same company i think i may have kept my mentor in my life after all i apologized for perhaps ending things with my old job too abruptly and he said i couldn't have left at a worse time but then again there was no better or worse time to lose me and to not sweat it he says he understands why i took the job respects my reasoning for trying to protect him from using up the good will that he built to save me as an employee and get me a match and that giving him an earlier heads up might have given him more time to find a replacement but that didn't make a huge difference at the end of the day it's all water under the bridge now the company already hired my replacement for about 25 percent more than i was paid he didn't disclose the exact amount but that was the implication he was blunt i wouldn't have gotten that much even with the offer i had he also said his priorities in life are very different and he's happy where he is due to personal reasons and work-life perks but that i need to seek what is the right answer for me said he's happy to work with me again if an opportunity presents itself and i echoed that sentiment who knows we may end up on the same team one way or another a few things i took away from the reddit discussion and our talk with the old boss look out for yourself your company is not the same thing as your boss there are structural obstacles to fight against and because you're loyal to one person doesn't mean the company as a whole feels that way about you i don't regret my choice be good to people who are good to you and do right by them if that doesn't go against number one i wasn't a dick in my final interview and thanked my old boss profusely it made a difference but obviously he was still upset in the moment which leads me to number three people are people they are imperfect and have lapses of judgment if you see them as such you will find it easier to move on and move up in your professional life good luck you all and thanks again for your input sometimes consulting reddit does put a good spin on a trivial story and in the comments mark meister says why do employers hire replacements and pay them way more than the original employee that just makes no sense bluntly puts two different policies retention raises and talent acquisition budgets for the retention pool of cash hr will fight harder to not give people already hired a higher raise there's an understanding justified one by the way that people will be happier with less and won't leave if they're already employed for talent acquisition the market dictates the salary people ask for a premium to take on the risk of changing jobs thus the company has no choice but to pay it or go without an employee which is why i often mentor young people you must be willing to leave to get what you are worth you may be able to come back in the future at a higher pay grade but all too often it's nearly impossible to actually get what you're worth while staying this is especially true when you were brought in at a super low rate haggis hunter 91 says my boss actively encourages everyone under him to at least go to one job interview every year we'll even give time off to attend them even if it's not a position in the same company his reasoning is that it encourages people to think about whether they really want to be there seems counter-intuitive but his staff retention rate is the best in the company must be a confident guy in that this company must be a confident guy in that his company provides competitive salaries and good work environments i'm sure this only works if you're a top-notch employer in both of those areas people may not want to leave google corporate but won't feel the same way about an amazon warehouse job posted by user am i the a-hole throwaway cat door titled am i the a-hole for opening my roommate's door while she slept throw away because my reddit username is linked to me all over the internet i promise the story isn't anywhere near as creepy as the title so i 22 female have lived with my housemate jane 24 female for about five months now we get on pretty well we cook together sometimes only have minor house disagreements that usually get sorted really quickly which makes me think that i've made a huge mistake here we both own a cat each they co-exist happily and the cats will sleep with either of us depending on their mood but lately her cat let's call her fluffy has only been sleeping in jane's room which is usually fine the issue is that when jane closes her bedroom door and fluffy can't get in fluffy will meow and scratch at the door until she gets let in she does this for hours no i am not exaggerating she may take a small break for five minutes but will go straight back to meowing and scratching when i first brought this up to jane as our rooms are quite close she just laughed it off and said that she's so used to it she just sleeps through it and she only closes her door to keep fluffy out when she's being annoying and disrupting her sleep she told me it doesn't happen that often and i'll also get used to it it's been happening every night for the past two weeks i cannot sleep through it and i'm woken up and kept up multiple times a night because of the constant meowing and scratching i brought it up with jane again who just shrugged and said to ignore it last night was the last draw for me i had to get up super early for an important work meeting and was already feeling unwell so when fluffy started meowing at 3 30 in the morning i was at my last nerve and just opened jen's door to let her into the bedroom this morning jane stoned into my room and demanded to know why i breached her privacy by opening the door while she was sleeping and that it was weird and creepy i tried to explain that fluffy was keeping me awake but she said it was no excuse and i had to get some earplugs or something but that i violated her privacy and it was not okay at all and that i was an a-hole i think she's being a tiny bit ridiculous i didn't peep in or anything i literally just pushed the door open and also fluffy as her cat i just feel like it's inconsiderate that i have to lose sleep so hers isn't disrupted but also a couple of my friends did say that it was weird that i opened her bedroom door so reddit am i the a-hole i feel like she knows she's in the wrong for doing this to you but she's trying to strong-arm you into a decision which is ultimately screwing you over and losing sleep over something like this or just losing sleep in general is in my opinion one of the worst inconveniences you can have when cohabiting a place with someone a solution to this could have been she just leaves her door open and the cat comes in and out i can understand the privacy aspect you could always get a cat door in the door replace the door with a cat door so many different things that she could have done but she chooses not to because she's trying to be an [ __ ] opie was kind of forced into this one and i'd say that the lack of sleep is a good excuse for doing that so i'm gonna give opie a pass and say not the a-hole stress relief 375 says not the a-hole what kind of wacko is okay with their cat crying at their door all night long and opie replies she's a heavy sleeper when it comes to sounds i do understand why she keeps fluffy out sometimes because she loves to climb around your head and knock things over my cat does the same but i just deal with it when he does it you shouldn't have to pick up fluffy's owner's slack just because you're more willing to tolerate it than jane is you deserve peaceful sleep too she's acting like she's the only one who needs it for a lock 90 says not the a-hole and she's being a bad roommate by laughing off the noise the cat is making at night instead of you getting earplugs maybe she should put a cat entrance flap in her door and replace it when she moves out you weren't being creepy at all and if she doesn't get that there's something wrong with her and a bunch of bunches says not the a-hole your roomie is gaslighting you she is dismissive when it comes to your sleep a fundamental pillar of physical and mental health that goes under the shamelessly disrespectful category in my book she's shown her true colors here i'm afraid that's what i was thinking first five months sounded okay but this is probably not a spontaneous slip up roomie is likely going to behave like this a hundred times more in the next two to three months and op replies honestly it's so weird i've never gotten enough vibe from her in any way for the past five months and that's why i'm wondering if i'm an a-hole to me it seems like such a tiny thing but to her it's like the world's ending and i've never seen her this upset and merrypies78 says no a-holes here your roommate's kind of right you shouldn't have opened the door you would probably be upset too if the roles were reversed i would apologize and tell her it won't happen again next time don't open her door just respect her privacy and pound on her door until she comes and lets the cat in herself she'll appreciate you not opening her door again right when she complains ask her how else should the problem be resolved and dope he replies i personally would not care if she did that to me but i know everyone has different boundaries but pounding on the door is a great way to respect her boundaries you aren't opening the door you're simply doing what her cat is doing to you interrupting sleep at all hours of the night the problem should be fixed shortly thereafter and now on to the update so my original post didn't get that much attention but things took quite a bit of a weird turn so i just wanted to update the only reason i thought i may have been the a-hole was because a few mutual friends of ours said that i was and when i spoke to my closest friend about it also friends with jane she said i was an a-hole but it wasn't my fault and i should just talk to jane i felt like i was in crazy town but texted jane so that we could talk the day after that i had made the post and it turns out the issue wasn't the catch at all i sat her down and told her that i was sorry for opening her door and i'd never want to make her uncomfortable but that fluffy was her cat not mine and there was no way i was going to continue to be kept awake and my sleep was important too and frankly she was being selfish and to my surprise she just burst into tears i immediately reached out my hand to comfort her and she snatched it away she eventually calmed down and managed to tell me what was happening basically she has feelings for me and thanks to all the fun reddit relationship stories about housemates and roommates suddenly falling in love over quarantine she was awake when she had a door open and she thought it was me coming in to confess feelings towards her or for a cuddle or something i honestly didn't know how to react it was so bizarre and i felt so blindsided the reason why my friends were telling me that i was the a-hole was because they all knew how jane was feeling i had to gently tell her that i was very straight and i didn't reciprocate the feelings but i appreciated her honesty and her friendship and i hoped that we could move forward this didn't go well jane ran into her room and immediately locked the door i had no idea what was happening for the next week or so until i came home one day from work and everything of jane's was cleared out she left me a note saying she'd paid me out for the rest of the year but she couldn't handle being in a house with me and thanked me for being a good stepmom to fluffy i'm pretty devastated honestly i think barry my cat notices that things are weird and hasn't left my side i'm upset it had to end this way as i did appreciate her friendship and i feel bad that i hurt her so i guess i'll be trying to make the best of having my own space until my lease has ended thanks for all the advice in the first post everyone just wish it had a better ending posted by user e11451913 titled am i the a-hole for firing my son throw away because i don't want this scene on my main account i'll get straight to the issue my male 43 17 year old son adam has been trying to become independent and preparing to move to college but was struggling to find a job i own a private warehouse as a side job to earn a living my wife suggested i hire my son to work at the warehouse moving boxes bringing work his lunch helping with cleaning and that kind of stuff she said it's for both of our benefits since he couldn't find a job and we needed to hire someone new i agreed and adam was so happy and excited to start working we agreed on the salary and work hours so he still has time to study in practice the first couple of weeks were going fine that is until one day the workers were moving boxes computers into the warehouse the client wanted them to be stored for a few days and we already arranged before they arrived it was all written down including the number of computers we stored in the evening while i was checking i noticed there was one computer missing i gathered all the workers except for adam and they had no idea and thought there was a mistake i brought it up at home and adam told me that he saw one of the workers putting a box in the garage to take home with him i was confused since he couldn't specify which worker it was he eventually gave me a name and i went to talk to the worker he denied it and i ended up giving him x time to bring back the box and then i discuss why he did what he did the worker is a single dad with three kids i've known him for a while and i want to give him a chance so the next day i was busy and my daughter was in the hospital and i got back to the warehouse at 8 pm and it occurred to me to check the cameras what i saw was adam putting a box in the back of his friend's car and then the car left i knew his friend into new adam stole the computer i went home and i confronted him my wife sided with him when he denied it and after arguing for hours i fired him and told him he was lucky i didn't call the police this was my responsibility the client entrusted me with his computers and adam stole on the job adam started crying my wife said i was wrong for firing him that it was extreme and i should have just took from his salary she refused to drop it and tried to convince me to hire him again but i refused i apologized to my worker and i told him if there's anyone he knows who needs this job i'll be more than happy to hire them he brought his brother and he started working with us right away now my family is calling me an a-hole for hiring an outsider and not my son edit to add the box was being kept at his friend's place his friend is such a disrespectful a-hole i wouldn't be surprised if he was the one who came up with the idea however it was adam who took it and so he needed to be fired this is not okay nor is it acceptable and deropy has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole the minute i started thinking that i'm an a-hole was when my family said that i shouldn't have hired an outsider and left my son jobless i feel like your son is lying to your family there and that there's nothing wrong with hiring an outsider and your son being jobless is his own fault i can see why when you have family pressure and people in your face yelling at you why you would think that you're an a-hole in this instance because if they're all angry at me and they know the full situation then obviously there's something i'm not seeing and i've got to be the problem here but rest assured these are armchair redditors have got you and in my opinion you're not the a-hole for this one don't know what's tickling the brain of these people to think that the sun is in the right in this situation but everything you've presented me so far has proven to me that you're pretty in the clear body there was a good decision to fire him make an example of him call the cops if you want to he deserves it and you're not the a-hole check 3-4 says wow not the a-hole in this instance but your family is terrible adam happily threw someone he viewed as a worker and not a single father of three under the bus for his crime turn your son into the cops he's going to hurt more people if you don't i would have voted everyone sucks here but we're talking about the one instance and not your parenting in general it's unlikely however that you're completely blameless for your son's behavior your family sounds awful and you had a hand in creating that edits based on opi's new information stop this is not about your son's friend being such a disrespectful a-hole who you think probably came up with the idea even though you acknowledge that your son deserves to be fired for his actions that overall thought process is enabling your son and edit too a lot of people have mentioned that bringing in law enforcement should not be taken lightly thank you for your insights you've given me a lot to think about i've left the comment as is and look forward to further discussion i do firmly believe that opie's son needs stronger consequences but agree that an arrest could do a great deal of harm tall potato 17 replies 100 agree with you in my opinion it doesn't matter if he's his son he's his employee and committed theft that's a crime and should be reported to the authorities and i'm so hungry dude replies i also agree but i would say everyone sucks here opie seems to be on the right track with punishing his son by firing him but what kind of business doesn't check his cameras first before going after an honest worker who happens to be a single father to three children if it weren't for those cameras there might have been an innocent family on the streets because your son stole a computer the reason op is crappy is although he fired his son he seems to not want to place the blame on him and is putting the majority if not all the blame on the son's friend the son's friend is not a mind reader and didn't telepathically find out you had computers in the warehouse your son had to tell him that and get everything set up first my bet is the son is asking his friend to hold on to the computer until you forget about it and then pretend he bought one in the future he was literally going for the perfect crime and if it wasn't for that meddling camera he would have gotten away with it too zoinks scoobs and even with video evidence opie is still blaming the son's friend you're setting up your son to be a failure in life if you don't hold him accountable for his actions if you're going to hire him as an employee have him face consequences as an employee he doesn't get to switch to being your employee and then being your son when it's convenient that's a slap in the face to your loyal employees everyone sucks here told potato 17 replies i think the most important thing was that he realized that he made a mistake and apologized to the other worker after reading this he should have pressed charges since he's a minor at most i think he'll get community service if he hasn't had any trouble with the law but that should scare any attempts of crime in the future the devil's advocate replies i do think that's important and a good sign but not most important most important is he's not holding his son fully responsible and even now is telling himself it was the other boy's fault his wife is a problem too she's not helping her son she's helping him evade responsibility and kl says big not the a-hole this is a serious offence and if this happened with another boss he might be sitting in a police office right now you're a good boss i suggest showing your wife the video if she's taking his side and opie replies i can't imagine but the police would have absolutely gotten involved if this was someone else and not me i'm not tolerating his behavior i know what he did was wrong but i wanted to give him a warning to realize his mistake and learn from it nirvana chaser replies obviously you are not the a-hole but with respect the willingness to let someone else lose their job and go to prison in extremis with all the family disruption that it entails so casually is a way bigger thing to deal with not to suggest that the theft is not also extremely serious i'd show your wife the tape to shut down that ridiculousness about not believing you and then deal with both edits you could use the effect that this could have had on your employee to press home how big a deal this is and edit two it doesn't matter if his friend is a disrespectful a-hole don't let that deflect you here it's natural to want to blame anyone but your kid but it won't help him in the long term and he's still responsible for his actions posted by user throwawaywife72 titled am i the a-hole for walking out on husband and babies throw away and title sounds awful and i'm 35 female probably the a-hole but my god i am exhausted so i'm a stay-at-home mom to my daughter two and son for months i'm a preschool teacher and it didn't make sense to go back to work with the cost of child care and the pandemic risk my husband works and makes enough to support us and all my salary would end up going to child care we have separate accounts his idea and a joint household account that he puts money into i contributed to this account when i was working he works from home a nine-to-five desk job that isn't stressful he admits it's a cupcake job he has weekends and nights off and takes vacation days he likes his co-workers and often i hear him joking around on calls to them i love that he loves his job the problem is that once he's done working he's done with everything he'll occasionally play with the kids or fix himself a sandwich but otherwise he's playing games or reading or watching something he works out as well in the home gym but there's nothing pressing on his time meanwhile i cook clean make toddlers special diet no dairy or gluten due to his allergies i breastfeed on demand walk and train the dog love them but he's a burmese mountain dog and poops like a grown man as well as do all the upkeep and shopping that comes with running a house i'm just tired i'm so tired and when i ask for help he just stares at me blankly until i go away yesterday i snapped the kids were crying the dog crapped on the rug he's a puppy and he's reading his tablet and tells me babe it smells in here i made sure there was pumped breast milk and clean bottles that dog food was out and the toddler had enough food for a few days and i just left i haven't picked up the phone just to text him when they need to eat and the bedtime schedule and i just realized he has no idea how to keep the kids alive i want to send my mum over but i feel like that's rewarding him i dunno i got a hotel room for two days i took a bath i read a book and watched netflix and honestly i don't want to go back i miss the kiddos a ton and the dog but i don't miss him his family is calling me non-stop telling me i'm a bad wife and mom and his mother is flying in from florida since i'm having some sort of breakdown i don't want her here but i don't know what to do i'm just so tired rop has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole saying i might be the a-hole because i left my two young children with my husband who has no idea what to do with them and that this is probably scary for them some people might call this an everyone's sexier one but i see this as someone that's at the end of their tether that's also having to deal with all the drama and pandemonium of the world that we're in right now and all of that plus running the household and having no help from him having no communication from him and just having a blank stare until she goes away that's not healthy and that's not conducive to a good relationship this seems like it's something that's been a long time coming he should have seen this coming he should have prepared and done something to change his ways and yet he hasn't life doesn't work like that you don't become a caterer for every one person when you're a stay-at-home mom there's still a marriage there's still a relationship there's still kids to feed and look after there's still a dog that needs to be looked after and if you sign off on everything after work and you never take responsibility you deserve to be walked out on yes the way she's done it is sloppy here but sometimes this is the only way for someone to have a wake-up call i can definitely understand if there's a small percentage of people that think it's an everyone sucks here for her doing that but i would disagree so my judgment for this one is and not the a-hole judgment in the comments thea m says not the a-hole honey and i say this with love you do sound like you're in the middle of a breakdown there is no shame in that take care of you take that bath make sure someone knows you are okay take the time you need when you do go home you've got to have an honest conversation with your husband that he needs to step up maybe go to couples counselling so someone outside of this can help him hear you but you take care of you right now i know i'm a random stranger but i'm sending you so many hugs and opie replies thank you so much i'm calling a therapist on monday to schedule something i'm normally a really go with the flow person but it's just been endless you sound overwhelmed and exhausted i know this may be inappropriate but i lit a candle for you and i'm so on your side you take care of yourself i don't think that's inappropriate at all i think that's rather sweet i've been close to opie's situation and having someone to just listen to me would have been so nice and validating op you were definitely not the a-hole but like this one said above you absolutely are going to have to have an honest conversation i do hope you are able to get in to see someone and i'm also sending love hugs and every good vibe i can your way diavolo's thought says not the a-hole but i do feel the need to say something you need to sit down with your husband and have a serious conversation about working as a team those are his kids too and he needs to take care of them shake my head parenting classes and couples counselling should also be an option honestly he sounds like a deadbeat though as a father at least and you should probably leave for good he is a deadbeat dad you both have full-time jobs being a full-time mom is a full-time job and when you both are home he needs to be able to contribute somehow i feel extremely sorry for op and i have no idea why she would want to continue this marriage our next post is by user beginning ad 3472 titled am i the a-hole for lying to my cat oh god this is stupid but i was told to ask others for their opinion so here i am my 23 female girlfriend 19 female claims i suck for lying to my cat too male i don't like my cat roaming around the kitchen when i'm not there just because he might get his less than average intelligence pause on something that he shouldn't so i gotta get him out of there when i leave on a small shelf next to the door i keep a tiny bag of kitty treats and sometimes when he refuses to come when i call his name i shake the little bag to get him out and close the door behind him enter the problem i don't actually give him a treat every time i do this sometimes i just pick him up and give him a big old smooch sometimes he gets a treat my girlfriend thinks this counts as being mean to my cats because he might be expecting a sweet little treats and that disappointing him is cruel this isn't a serious fight just something that sometimes comes up when i don't give him treats it isn't creating problems between us but this time she said ask literally anyone else and see if they think you're being fair so we'll be reading the responses together and dopey has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i could be an ass because i'm not taking my girlfriend's claim seriously i think she's silly but i should probably at least hear her out i think it's fair enough that you would feel like an a-hole for not taking their claims concerns and worries seriously that's absolutely understandable but in this case i don't think it's as bad as they claim it to be i think she's overthinking this situation and it's not as deep as she claims to be i don't think the cat has particularly human-like feelings about this thing i think it's responding to a reward offer and it's getting that reward and even if that reward is cuddles kisses and attention i think the cat doesn't mind as much i'm sure this one goes by a cat by cat basis but i don't think the cat thinks you're an [ __ ] for not giving it a treat every time so for that one i'm just gonna go with not the a-hole in the comments floppy ear dog says you're the a-hole yours sincerely your cat we love to see it psalm 1267 says it's called operant conditioning using intermittent reinforcement and it's the most effective way to change behavior and make it persistent i personally think it sucks especially since that's what social media is doing to us to keep us addicted to it i always valued a trusting relationship with my cats and even let them know ahead of time whenever they had to go to the vets wow wasn't actually expecting anything this insightful thank you for taking the time to defend into my cat so scientifically i think there might be another downside to this thing because your cat could come to the conclusion that he gets a treat when he goes into the kitchen so maybe he should do it more often but no a-holes here this whole thing is just so funny and i love seeing just wholesome posts in this sub for a change so thanks for sharing this was my mistake i have a screened in porch so i let the cats out there when the weather is nice i started giving them treats to lure them inside and now whether i have treats or nots they run out onto the porch whenever they think i might close the door and then they wait on the doorstep and watch me the older one actually looked from me to the cabinet where i keep the treats and back so now i only give them treats rarely but i make sure to praise them every time they come in when cold and i make more of a point to praise the oldest cat who was too old to engage in such manipulative behavior and chew my fudge says not the a-hole what you're doing is fine as long as he's healthy eats and drinks enough there's no harm in fooling him a little suggestion get a red laser pointer and use that instead to lure him out if it helps your moral compass my cat at least couldn't ignore it trying to catch that damn thing like her life depended on it edits apparently lasers are bad for fooling an animal with what they can't catch oh well nop replies unfortunately the cat is half blind and doesn't exactly vibe with visual toys but i could try to lure him out with one of his squeakies that's really good advice posted by user wrongweido 8879 titled am i the a-hole for not caring about my ex or her kid so i was with my ex for 12 years married for eight of those i thought we had a great relationship however that was proven to be a lie when i found out our child wasn't actually mine the child was a little under one year old when i found out the little girl was diagnosed with an inherited genetic disease that my wife nor i had so after a genetic test i was told i wasn't the father i left her almost immediately and wished her the best with her life and hoped her daughter would do well during the beginning of the divorce i was served with a summons for a child support case my lawyer told me since i acted as the father for a fair amount of time i shouldn't be shocked if i'm ordered to pay i wanted to fight but i wasn't worried i had a good backup plan long story short the real father wasn't found and i was ordered to pay she smiled pretty big after the hearing and i was upset admittedly so i told her that i'd send her a check before garnishment kicked in i liquidated all of my assets pretty quickly took a loss on some things but hey i'm still young called my parents and they got my room ready and i moved back home in my home country i sent my ex a picture of me smiling back home and told her best of luck i've gotten a few calls and letters regarding the support but they get blocked or tossed in the trash i don't think i'm the a-hole here i didn't cheat and she's not my child's some people argue about the bonds but i can't say i had a strong one considering i was ready to walk the second i heard about what was up so sir reddit am i the a-hole endope has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i guess some people think i'm the a-hole because i walked away so easily oh my god that's some king [ __ ] right there what the hell congratulations for doing what a lot of people don't manage to do that's what i've got to say you didn't walk out on your wife and child she cheated on you and she managed to weasel her way into getting child support off you too i really can't fault you for this one i think that's some huge cajones you got on you and i really respect you liquidating all your assets immediately moving on and jumping [ __ ] back to your home country that may be morally questionable to some people but that's not your kid not your circus not your monkeys why should you have to deal with that she's the one who cheated there shouldn't be repercussions for you so no not the a-hole sid the horror kid says not the a-hole i'm honestly amazed by all the you're the a-hole ratings that you're getting she knew damn well the kid wasn't yours and still had the audacity to go to court for child supports good on you for leaving behind all that bs completely cut him out and move on with your life she made her bed with her actions and lies she can now lie in it you are in no way obligated to pay up for a kid that's not yours i doubt anyone in your position would have still stuck around i wish you luck on a new happy life op i'm not surprised honestly i understand where some of them are coming from with the arguments that the child is being financially screwed over but i've never agreed that anyone should be required to pay for a child that is not theirs i honestly believe that if the situation comes to pass that the mother knew about that and willingly deceived the father into thinking a child was theirs for financial gain then there should be criminal penalty trophy horse says considering how young the child was when you found out i'm going to say not the a-hole she won't even remember you lucky for you you found out so soon on what the hell is up with the system that will order you to pay child support on a kid that isn't yours that you've only been raising for about a year though they don't want the mum getting snap i guess i'm not sure what snap is but f that system honestly it's food stamps and medical cards no doubt and love giving advice says not the a-hole because i don't agree with a system that allows someone to be liable after being lied to i would commend you if you were still there for an innocent child but i think this system is unfair women who do this should be charged with fraud not so sure about fraud but okay posted by user car12269 titled am i the a-hole for ordering pizza to my boyfriend's parents house when they threw me a birthday dinner party with no food that i could eat i am stuck in a different state than my family and friends right now due to the virus so on my birthday my boyfriend and parents were going to throw me a small party just me my boyfriend and his little siblings and his parents a super low-key dinner i'm vegetarian i have been for 13 years it's not anything new or anything that people don't know so when i went to their house and saw them cooking pasta with bacon pieces and cooking up veggies in the bacon grease pan i realized there was nothing i could have except beer and i was hungry i reminded them i don't eat meat and they were like you can pick the bacon bits out they just sprinkled on top and give them to your boyfriend he'll eat anything and we made vegetables that you can eat too i didn't want to pick meat out of the pasta or eat vegetables that were cooked in bacon fats so i said i wasn't sure i didn't like meat flavor at all i might have something else they said there was hardly any bacon grease in the pan while they'd used it for bacon they just didn't wash in between but i wouldn't even taste it then i ordered a pizza to their house and when it arrived his parents were mad and upset that i had i said that i mentioned that i wasn't into eating meat so i might get my own food my boyfriend and i left early and went out ice skating so the day turned out fine lol am i the a-hole for ordering pizza i feel like the family is probably just ignorant of the fact that cooking stuff in bacon grease makes it not a vegetarian option so you know i can fault them on that one for their ignorance but at the same time it's understandable that they didn't understand if you understand what i'm trying to put down sure it could come across as a bit rude from you just ordering pizza while there's perfectly good food available for you and offered to you but the fact is you made it clear that you couldn't eat it and that you wouldn't eat it and they didn't give you a reasonable alternative that fits in your dietary guidelines perfectly permissible for you to order your own food get your own pizza too bad so sad that they're going to get upset at that it doesn't make you an a-hole for doing it it makes them kind of dickish in my mind for not giving you a reasonable alternative so in this situation in this universe you are not the a-hole maybe in a parallel universe something different happens and opie has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i ordered pizza to my birthday dinner party because they didn't cook vegetarian dinner i completely glossed over the fact it was a birthday dinner party that makes it even more egregious on their side they suck they they so there's no explanation for it the parallel universe they dive even deeper into this sucky hole these people are basically vacuum cleaners at this point whole p 1870 says not the a-hole in my opinion what else were you supposed to do starve i guess they thought i'd be fine to serve myself pasta and just pick around the bacon pieces when serving and i think they thought i wouldn't care about eating vegetable that had been cooked in the same pan as the bacon without washing apparently since it's a treated cast iron pen they never wash it with soap lol why is that a lull cleaning a cast iron pan involves scrubbing it with salt then rinsing it with hot water then treating it with a little bit of oil so it doesn't rust they could just cook it in a pan that isn't cast iron for that purpose i know plenty of people with cast iron but i don't know a single person who only has cast iron cookware not the a-hole if this party was supposed to be for you i don't know why asking you what you wanted wasn't the first order of business but even if they couldn't be bothered to do that who makes the guest of honor a dish that's focused on the flavor of an ingredient they can't eat that's exactly my thoughts they invited her over for her birthday and didn't even ask what she wanted i remember the first time my parents cooked for my now wife my mom asked if what she was making was okay she's not even a vegetarian but my mum still made sure everything would be okay also my sister-in-law doesn't eat pork and we easily plan around that it's not that hard to plan around someone's dietary needs they can always just make meat on the side for everyone else not the a-hole as someone who has gone back and forth between strict vegetarianism for a few years and back to eating meat again i can tell you that there's a good chance that bacon grease would have done a number on your stomach i still don't eat a lot of meat but i try to have it every now and then just so i don't have to go through that terrible reintroduction process again after 13 years i'm guessing the bacon grease would have been really foreign to your digestive system even if it wouldn't so what this would have been rude in any circumstance doubly so when the celebration is nominally for her my sister hates mushrooms it's a preference sure but she hates them for her last birthday we celebrated i made a butternut squash risotto as a side dish i would have been a real [ __ ] if i made a mushroom risotto instead knowing how much the birthday girl hates mushrooms our next post is by user kittens on my lab titled am i the a-hole for blowing up at my boyfriend just because he was ignorant his words i'll try to keep this short i 19 female slept over at my boyfriend's 23 male place and i unexpectedly got my period during the night a regular cycle he freaked out i was embarrassed and offered to wash the sheets he wasn't having any of it and basically told me i must be irresponsible and disgusting yelling the whole time at that point i got annoyed too and told him he was acting like a real a-hole i went to take a quick shower and was about to go home when he stopped me to continue the argument i explained to him that i can't control when they happen that they can be irregular as hell and that they're not that gross he was talking about throwing away the sheets and the stain wasn't even that big and i put them in the washer before i showered he told me that he didn't know those things and that i'm unreasonable for being mad at him for just a misunderstanding and that he couldn't have known since they didn't teach him that in school obviously i'm not mad at him for not knowing i'm mad at him for assuming he knew better and reacting by yelling at me he's mad because i'm mad and he thinks that i can't be mad about ignorance since it's not his fault i apologized for calling him an a-hole but he doesn't want to apologize for yelling am i the a-hole i only want him to apologize for yelling opie has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole because i called him an [ __ ] and don't want to make up yet i think this is one of those small crossroads in a relationship where it's genuinely a questionable time to be like is this something i hold on to and make a point of or am i being a bit too overly dramatic or are they the problem it's sometimes good to bring these to third parties because having an unbiased outsider's perspective can give you or not give you the advice that you need i would say in this situation i'm kind of on your side for it yes he's ignorant of the processes that go on in the human body and that these things happen but i don't think that him not apologizing for it is the hill that he wants to die on that kind of sucks from him like do you really need to prove that point is it so necessary to hold that above your partner it just seems petty and stupid and i can't find a logical reason besides he's embarrassed about apologizing for something like that for making a big deal about it if rp can let it go surely rp's partner can let it go also it just seems like a stupid sticking point to me so i'm gonna go with not the a-hole on this one i wouldn't want to make up yet either but plenty of people have made up over worse situations than this and i can't fault you if you do make up because sometimes we just have to agree to disagree and move on anna schema says not the a-hole but those are some huge red flags apologizing will tell him he is right to go screaming about his assumption you need to sit with him and have a calm rational conversation about what you are mad about and how he could have acted differently and if he's unwilling or incapable of doing so then the relationship is probably doomed part of the process of unlearning toxic masculinity is unlearning the reactive disgust us guys are taught to express towards feminine hygiene things and honestly it's just blood not like it's poop or anything even if my significant other pooped the bed my first reaction would not be anger and disgust but worry same with urine i'd assume that he's ill i can't imagine waking up to my partner bleeding even if it's only a period and go straight to yelling at her for it what a dick seriously i woke up in the middle of the night once and realized that i had wet the bed i was mortified but i woke up my wife and we got up changed the sheets and both showered before going back to bed we had a bedliner due to having a newborn weird bonus for the win next morning i was expecting her to have an adverse reaction to it nope more like hey you've talked about seeing a therapist for ptsd symptoms before maybe we need to revisit this topic because exhibit p long story short that's what i did and i'm much better now probably wouldn't have done it without her support lightworthy 09 says not the a-hole he's a grown-ass man his lack of education is his own fault and no one else's as other people have already said a man who doesn't know how the reproductive system works has no business having sex with anyone i had an unexpected period start when i was staying the night with my husband when we first started dating i left early for work so he mentioned it to me later that day i was mortified and apologized over in dover and offered to replace the sheets and he laughed at me it's fine i already washed them and put them back on the bed it's not like you did that on purpose which is the only correct response this is a much better response yes he sounds sweet you're right being mature enough to have sex means being mature enough to deal with the embarrassing bodily things that happen and judge jed100 says not the a-hole one he shouted at you first two he's 23 years old using school as an excuse doesn't fly he's had plenty of time to educate himself three he treated it as if it was a serious buyer hazard that needed to be dealt with majorly and four he tried to turn it around and make you responsible for how he acted for real and numbers one and four are really the kicker yes it's bad that he doesn't know periods can be irregular and it's annoying that he thinks it's gross though if he hasn't experienced this before i can imagine it may be shocking like when i got my first period and stained my own sheets they were heavy periods and it was freaky the first time but his first reaction was to yell at op and then double down and make excuses for his behavior and that's a deliberate choice he could have easily been freaked out or even uneasy about the blood but said something like are you okay instead of ill you're disgusting posted by user good ad 6014 titles am i the a-hole for letting my kids live in filth so i'm currently a stay-at-home mom to four kids a 10 8 2 and 1 year olds as you can imagine the house gets messy if i don't keep on it constantly throughout this pandemic everyone has been home hubby is working from home my ten-year-old and eight-year-old are distance learning and the babies are well they're babies they're always home this normally isn't a problem for me i have to clean a bit more and help my older ones with school but all in all not too much has changed for myself my family on the other hand seem to think being home all day every day is grounds to be lazy 24 7. i do not put up with this but somehow my floor is a catch-all when i talk to everyone or discuss some chore charts everyone agrees with me then goes right back to normal the older kids have completely lost their allowance due to this on to the incident a little under a week ago i told everyone it's their responsibility to clean i would still wipe stuff down wash the dishes do laundry and mop slash vacuum but it was up to everyone else to put dishes in the sink clothes in the hamper and make sure surfaces and floors are picked up enough for me to do my parts my family has done none of this and to be honest i'm probably kind of a dick about it oh you don't have anything to eat off of guess you should have put the dishes in the sink i do still feed everyone oh you tripped over the crap in the floor maybe it would help if you picked it up my family is slowly getting the hints and to coming up with a plan to tackle the mess my mother-in-law thought it was a good idea to make a surprise visit and saw the state of my house she was disgusted and proceeded to [ __ ] me out for not doing my job i told her i'm not doing my job plus hers by teaching my husband slash her son and my kids how to pick up after themselves she threw a fit and threatened to call cps for letting my family live in filth i told her to get out of my house my husband has apologized but i'm starting to feel bad am i the a-hole rp has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i feel like they ask because it's my job to care for everyone while that may be true in some regards it's not entirely true it's not entirely your job to care for everyone your husband also has obligations to care for everyone in the family and that includes you as well and it seems like the way he's approaching the house by not picking up the slack by not disciplining the kids for not doing their fair share and expecting you to pick up most of the load it just shows that he doesn't care and he will continue not to care unless something changes your mother-in-law is going off the rails for this one she saw a problem one that really isn't too bad and then she jumped into a pool of just toxicity and was like i'm calling this child protective services how dare you have a filthy flaws what is this you're a woman like me we need to be cleaning everything that's our jobs this is your fault this can't be my husband's fault it's like textbook r slash just know mother-in-law crazy entitled woman paradox whatever those sort of freakouts don't fly in reality and i can not i cannot blame you for kicking her out that's unnecessary stress that's uncalled for she's crazy i hate her yes there's always more that we can do to help and there's more that people can do to be a better influence in the house i can't say that you've been the best and i can't say that you've been the worst influence you're a person you're a human we make mistakes and we don't always do the best because that's human all you can do from here on out is do your best every day come together with the family talk to them more tell them about the crazy mother-in-law and how she's not speaking logically she's just speaking stupidly and i can't fault you for how things have gone so far i'm gonna go with not the a-hole for this one 122 says not the a-hole you're a stay-at-home mom not a slave the children i'm including your husband in that should do the bare minimum of tidying up after themselves your mother-in-law is so unbelievably far out of line threatening to call child protective services on you and you had every right to kick her out calling cps would be reporting both parents anyway cps does not assign chores to one parent or another both would be held responsible and both would be investigated this shows how much mother-in-law sees her son as a little kid who should be babied by his wife gross swissy queen says not the a-hole it's good that your husband apologized and honestly your husband needs to step up because if he doesn't do his part the children just learn from him and that it's okay not respecting mum's work and time yeah you really need to sit down with him and crack down on this because it's pretty clear that the kids are taking his lead in this situation and it's a bad lead that's going to lead to a lot of fighting when they're older and having to deal with housemates or something with no intention or obligation to clean up after them and men thought says not the a-hole also i would consider never allowing mother-in-law in your home again if she thinks it's truly okay to threaten you with calling cps a decent mother-in-law might ask if everything is okay ding ding ding someone who wants to call cbs as a first action is not okay what was she gonna say my dear son is home all day but his wife doesn't clean enough she should be apologizing to opie if she wants to visit ever again not the a-hole posted by user cg3490764 titled am i the a-hole for not letting my son's former fiancee see him i have a deceased son named adam adam passed away two months ago he was only 21 years old and was suffering from a chronic heart condition he introduced me to his then girlfriend when he was 19 and told me they were expecting a baby and wanted to get engaged i supported them with all i could although i still helped with medical expenses he was working a job studying and paying bills he was exhausted but excited to be a dad and he loved his son more than himself three months after his son was born adam's condition got worse he spent time in and out of the hospital he was in a wheelchair and he was too weak to walk but was aware of what was happening his fiance moved back with her parents after my son requested to see his baby she declined and didn't allow it she didn't even visit just cold i talked to her and told her adam was at my home and she should come see him and bring their baby with her she came but only to give back the ring saying this was too much for her and will not live like that she said she wanted to move on and provide for her son my son was devastated next thing we knew she flew out of the country before we could even consult a lawyer we knew nothing about where she was and all means of communication were cut it was hard watching my son sad missing his son all he had of his baby were pictures he was devastated and he was melting like a candle in front of me and i stood there helpless i got him a medical device because he had trouble breathing on his own two months ago he was admitted to the hospital he had late stage heart failure and was on a vent machine the doctor was honest with me and said that adam was too weak for another surgery i was devastated i let the family know what was happening including adam's friends turns out one of his friends was in contact with adam's former fiance on social media and told her next thing i knew was she was standing in front of me wanting to see adam i was surprised to see her i politely told her to leave but she insisted she brought mutual friends to try to convince me but i refused and i got mad and had to get the security officer involved and she ended up being told to leave right then she started yelling at me and told me i had no right called me cruel and other names that i can't say here adam's friends sided with her and were yelling at me too i felt too much pressure adam passed away later that day at 6 pm i couldn't take it i found myself dealing with her and their friends yelling at me again my brother thought what i did was wrong the funeral wasn't quiet nor peaceful as i had to argue with everyone pointing out what i did was cruel i was carrying my grief along with this she again stopped me from seeing my grandbaby as a way to spite me for what i did i know there has to be something i can do this is my grandbaby i need to answer two questions she didn't show up with a baby i don't think she even brought him with her on her trip and adam was already unconscious that day he was unconscious for days and opie has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a-hole i realize what i did might be seen as cruel as everyone thinks i don't think this is a hard one to answer i feel like this is a clear not the a-hole this woman just up and walked out on this man jumped to another country with his son as soon as there was a sign of his condition getting worse in that case unless she came back and set things right with opie's son before he died then there is no coming back from that that's way more egregious than op not allowing her to see him before he passes if he wasn't unconscious before that i'm sure he would have told her to piss off too like that's a very heartless thing to do to someone there is very little coming back from that i feel like opie is justified in her actions and i completely support it so i'm going with not the a-hole yes it can be seen as cruel especially by the friends and family who could be told another story by this woman but once the truth comes out i'm pretty sure they would side with op and if they don't then those aren't people you need in your life random user 133 says not the a-hole she left him when he needed her the most she had no right to be there she wasn't his fiance anymore you don't leave someone who you love in hard times she was cruel for leaving him and not letting him see his son not you i'm sorry for your loss op stay strong sounds like the baby mama has a heart condition too it's called not having one not the a-hole she knowingly got into a relationship with someone suffering from a heart condition a condition which might i add you paid the medical bills for and then abandoned to the guy when it got too real even keeping him away from his son for all you knew you were being protective of him even if your actions were probably also rooted in some spite i'm very sorry for your loss i can forgive deciding that it's more than she can deal with even if she initially thought she could handle it running off with his child and going no contact is a complete a-hole move though info she abandoned him took their child and now wants to pretend she cares however i do have a question did you ask adam what he wanted do you think adam would want to see her or would find it too distressing at the time i do think that the person being cruel is the one sending flying monkeys to crap on you when you were the one taking care of him and her pee replies all he ever talked about was his son from what i understand she came without him so she had no intentions of letting us see the baby adam was already unconscious when she came and it was sudden and i didn't expect her to come back i'm going not the a-hole because the only person who would benefit is the woman who abandoned him not adam himself since he was unconscious she doesn't get to pretend she's his grieving widow when she stole his child from him i'm betting she's doing this because she knows she's a crap person and didn't get to do some performative nonsense to cleanse her own conscience i'd point out that she didn't show up with the child so adam could have theoretically say goodbye and that you've been doing all the work caring for him anybody who doesn't understand that should be blocked she probably wanted to see if her son was getting any inheritance life insurance etc if you wanted to cleanse your own conscience you wouldn't attack op or make a scene at the funeral definitely some food for thought on that one posted by user the spiciest bagel titled am i the a-hole for telling my brother i met his new girlfriend at an a.a meeting so my brother started dating this new girl and i realized i recognized her from alcoholics anonymous i'm not an addict but my lawyer recommended i attend some aaa meetings to help strengthen an ongoing case against me i know it's her because i remember her very unique name from the aaa meeting and she also talked for a very long time i thought it was important to mention it to my brother because i'm worried about her as a partner to him in aa she mentioned that not only did she use hard drugs but that also she feels like she can't control herself she also admitted to drugs making her verbally abusive and unstable emotionally and at the time she was not sober i know my brother and i know that he holds himself and his partners to a high standard and that he hates drama in his relationship i told him what she said and he broke up with her and she basically stalked me and also called me an untrustworthy [ __ ] who ruined her experience with aa honestly i think i was just trying to help my brother out but some of my friends think it was messed up for me to tell him but i think it's better for him to know what kind of person she is ahead of time am i the a-hole edits to clear some things up because people are assuming a lot i'm fighting my case because i believe the legal system is corrupt but i want to be accountable in other ways i don't regularly drink and drive i don't even drink at all the night was the worst night of my life and i would take it back in a heartbeat all i'm asking is opinions on how i should have handled the situation with this girl not to talk about whether i deserve to rot in jail because of my dui i do not condone drinking and driving and think it's a very serious crime and i understand the gravity of my actions i admit i read some comments just to get a little more insight on this one before i did and yeah this first comment talks about did you forget the second a stands for anonymous also no excuse for dui what the hell is that you continued to dig yourself deeper into a hole the further you went i applaud you for your honesty and i really love it when people are completely transparent on this one but in this regard it didn't help your case and it didn't help me sympathize with you any more than when you started this there's obviously some agenda going on here you look down on this woman who's going out for help she wants help that's why she's in this group and yet now you've completely undone all of that i can understand that you would do things like this to protect your family members because you don't want to see them be abused into everything but in this instance you've just shown us that's the part calling the kettle black you d wide you put other people in danger should we avoid you as well and you are going to alcoholics anonymous not to get help but to prove that the system is corrupt you're fighting some demons yourself here what are you doing you're the a-hole cerebral assassin says you're the a-hole did you forget to mention the second a stands for anonymous most go to these things to get help not to try and make a fake showing for chord because they can't get a dd i can't get over how this person just decided that there is nothing they can learn even if you are not an addict you think you can't learn something from people actively trying to overcome something difficult and make themselves better really op you don't find that admirable you'd rather ruin the sanctity of the meeting and put their anonymity and recovery at risk you're the a-hole yeah 56 says you're the a-hole you are a gigantic a-hole do you not know the definition of the word anonymous it is completely wrong to reveal anything people talked about in those meetings that is their safe space and you just violated it i just have to comment again you are a drunk who endangered others lives by drinking and driving hence your own dui but you have the nerve to judge her and tell your brother things she revealed in an anonymous meeting you have a lot of nerve the a-hole here for sure and karat solace says you're the a-hole you expect us to not hold a dui over your head and you went and did exactly that to somebody else nothing like holding somebody's past mistakes over their head when they're trying to get help and now on to the updates my reception last time was not very positive and i realized that my approach at the time wasn't the best so in this update i'm going to try and be emotionless as possible and just give you guys the facts i showed my brother the thread we talked about it he told me he thinks i have a drinking problem that was hard to hear he also reached out to his ex and i don't know the results of that i reread my replies the stories about drunk drivers killing loved ones hit me the hardest i felt a lot of guilt to realizing what i did and went into a depression spiral i think everything i bottled up came out and i quit my job i emailed to the aa group leader with a lengthy apology she was upset of course but was very kind i'm banned from aa but she matched me with someone to talk to i texted my brother's ex with an apology and an offer to meet up in person she didn't reply for a few days eventually she did and said that she acknowledges but also went in on me and went into detail about how much pain i caused her she said she cannot forgive me yet i talk to my lawyer and we're trying to figure out the logistics of a guilty plea without conviction because he thinks that what i did in aa may affect my case i'll likely get my license revoked and have to pay a fine i'm currently jobless and i'm probably going to move back in with my parents until i can be better there is also a tweet going around saying someone knows me and outed me to my brother this did not happen this person was trying to capitalize on a messed up situation for internet points my brother and i have never met nor interacted with this person at the moment i am still very depressed i'm trying to right my wrongs but i don't think i can ever do that however i think that this was going to come eventually and the thread didn't make me depressed it was the consequences of my own actions thank you for helping me see the pain i was causing before it was too late edit i'm not banned from aa in general just the aaa meeting that i went to and sinker 12 comments my mom's a recovering alcoholic she used to drive drunk all the time got her license revoked paid heavy fines none of it was getting through to her finally she took aa seriously and she's been sober for i think seven years you've done the hard part not saying it's going to be easy from now on but you seem to have hit your rock bottom now you just have to find a way to climb back up get some counselling for your feelings of depression that can often help with alcoholism too i'm glad you're moving back in with your parents have them hold you accountable to stopping drinking and getting help i mentioned my mum to say it gets better it truly does you did bad things but that doesn't make you a bad person we call people a-holes on this page all the time but in truth most of them are just humans who make jokes you've made a mistake you've done what you can to fix it now you work to prevent more great job doing this seriously opie i truly commend you for listening to everyone and taking the time in consideration to accept your mistakes and go on the process of learning from them that takes true strength and not everyone has that it will get better as long as you make the effort to do so i wish you the best of luck sam renee says i still don't think you understand the severity of your actions you deserve jail time whether or not you think the justice system is broken you deserve to lose your license literally anything the judge sentences you to you deserve people who don't ever drink are not drinking and driving i've worked with people in recovery my professional work has been all related to aod and the crap you pulled makes me so ragy and chocolate soy milk says i just got home from a 30 day stint in rehab on tuesday 35 days clean today and this post in the original break my heart your view of her and her alcoholism addiction versus yours mirrors so many of the stories i've heard my crap ain't as bad as yours so i don't really need to be here and it's denial at its finest being open vulnerable and accepting are so important in those meetings and in recovery in general her story was not one for you to tell it would kill me if any of my fellow rehab mates outed me i hope you understand and get the help you need you obviously have a problem so don't give up on aa and find another home group just work through it like they say one day at a time our next post is by user babe miller titled am i the a-hole for calling my mother-in-law by her last name instead of grandma so my relationship to my mother-in-law mrs smith is crap she's called to me because i kept my last name miller she says i'll treat her like family when she wants to be part of it she calls me jake's friend my husband jake loves me all the same he doesn't bother standing up to her because it's a way for her to start a fight we rarely talk to her she makes no effort so neither do we jake and i had discussed whose last name our kid would have prior to the birth he initiated the conversation i'd left the decision up to him after the birth the families visited at the hospital jake asked what our son's last name was going to be i told him it was still his choice he smiled and said little baby miller i like it he filled out the paperwork mother-in-law looked livid she started asking questions but my dad started crying both of my brothers have died dad has never mentioned it but i know passing the last name down makes him happy neither jake or i anticipated this nor did it for this reason but it was sweet all the same after she left mother-in-law let people know what i had done and how now she wouldn't feel like a grandmother a month later a sister-in-law announced her pregnancy mother-in-law said finally i'll feel like a grandmother again my husband didn't say anything and neither did i our son started talking during a video call where my mother-in-law did nothing but gush about sister-in-law's daughter who was adorable jake was trying to get the baby to talk son lost interest i took son and jake and let mother-in-law ramble some more before ending the call mother-in-law said she wanted to say bye to son jake turned to the phone mother-in-law said say bye to grandma make son say it i'm grandma now i snapped inside so i said bye mrs smith and my mother-in-law's face dropped jake turned the camera away and said bye quickly he laughed said i was awesome but we better put our phones on silent the only call and text i responded to was the other sister-in-law who said i didn't need to go out of my way to be nasty that mother-in-law went around saying how excited she was about sun which was a lie that her initial comments were understandable because i talked to jake out of tradition i did not and that i'd hurt mother-in-law mother-in-law needed time to adjust i said thank you for your input mother-in-law texted eventually saying i'd really upset her i said here i was trying to respect the importance you feel to last names you've said multiple times i'm not family because of my last name you made it more than clear that that's the reason my child doesn't make you feel like a grandma now you'll be known as mrs smith she said sorry she didn't mean it that way but that my dad's reaction was an example of how important last names are i now had to forgive her because family it made me angrier that she brought my dad into this and i can't tell if i'm being the a-hole or not yeah i'm gonna go with not the a-hole for this one she obviously slided you from the get-go can't accept that oh you know people don't always take their last name sometimes you can put it as a spouse's last name yes it's uncommon but it's not unheard of i don't know where this grandma gets off on creating this drama and that's definitely not a visual image i wanted to give myself there and i'm sorry for everyone that had to visualize that but seriously get off your high horse mother-in-law it's a name the kid is still your grandkid where where where he's not got my last name so he's not really my grandchild jesus christ i just have no words i'm gonna go with not the a-hole that's just too much whatever whatever eight says your husband is right that was awesome f that noise not the a-hole stick to your guns on this when you play stupid games you win stupid prizes and she is the showcase showdown champion now [Music] too tall to function says not the a-hole if she needs her son's biological son to have the same last name as her to feel a connection or commitment to him then she's not a good person she's superficial and vapid she doesn't get to shun you and treat you and your son like strangers for however long and then turn around and demand empathy or an apology from you tangled twisted says not the a-hole she kept pushing it and pushing it you had every right to react that way she is definitely the a-hole here i will say if you guys choose to have and want a relationship with her and the rest of his family then it may be a good idea not to push the mrs smith over grandma with your son in the future now that you've made your point with style i might add and she has gone out of her way to ensure that you felt uncomfortable and were not part of her family she even went so far as to give your son the same treatment she even said make him call me grandma i'm a grandma now as if she wasn't before you simply went along with what she's already been enforcing and that's on her not on you she's reaping what she's sown and she doesn't like it not the a-hole and thank god your husband's on your side sounds like he knows what she's like and not only respects you but considers you in all his decision making that's a rarity in this reddit you've got all the family you need and she shouldn't get the benefits of calling you and your son family until she makes the effort to include you in it along with a proper apology and opie replies he's a great guy i really did luck out i told him his relationship with his mother is his decision because i don't care if she likes me i do want to revisit it now though given our son is now involved we seriously never see her or hear from her i don't think jake is gonna miss her anyway he really only likes his dad honestly it sounds like jake knows her well enough to know he doesn't want to have a typical mother-son relationship with her she also doesn't seem to be making any effort on her end to maintain the relationship with him only getting upset when you kept your last name and when he made the decision to give your son your last name i'm an outsider here so i'm not privy to the details but it seems like her love is uh very conditional safe to say that i think it's why sister-in-law texted me she gets money out of mother-in-law for standing by her next time ask if she's paid by the text or by the word thank you this made me laugh out loud and opie put some edits in their post and the first one says edit thank you again to everyone who gave awards it was very kind of you and i do appreciate it jake is home and i had him read the post some of you really cracked him up some made good points which we have discussed apparently he also got a text from his sister and asked how much money she got from mother-in-law for telling me off he also made sure to tell sister-in-law who had the baby that we hold nothing against her should mother-in-law try to spin it that way she knows mother-in-law better thankfully jake would also like to tell those who were telling me i should take his name that he disagrees and he's not about the sexism you're spewing though he does now want to send mother-in-law a christmas card from the millers edit 2 you guys are being great i woke up to many more responses than i anticipated thank you just to clarify my son will not be calling mother-in-law mrs smith they barely have a relationship as he's still a baby and mother-in-law makes no effort after some discussion jake is going to take time to figure out what he wants from mother-in-law and if he thinks that's possible and now on to the update jake and i appreciated all the support though jake wants the dm is to know that he's okay with me taking his balls because he loses everything anyway this brought him a good chuckle before the serious talk we both also wanted to be very clear that taking his name was never on the table nor does he care i also do want to say that i know how great jake is though since the post he's been demanding i thank the world's best husband anytime he does something for me his humor is my favorite part of him now because it's his mum i let him decide how to handle it we both did agree that our son would obviously know mother-in-law as his grandma but he wouldn't have a relationship with her unless she addressed the blatant favoritism that conversation did not go well she denied having favorites lied about pretty much everything then told me the compromise she was willing to make was that if she had to accept me for who i am being that i kept the name i'd have to accept her for who she is i didn't respond before jake ripped into her about how she didn't get to make demands that she was critical of me assumed things that he already told her weren't true that this conversation wasn't happening because we didn't accept who she was he said if he ever heard her make another comment about the miller last name he'd take it she started crying about losing her family and he hung up one sister-in-law who was mother-in-law's favorite child sent me a nasty message including the line i wonder if your dead brother would be happy that you used him to break mother-in-law's hearts i sent the screenshot to mother-in-law and said call off your dog or i'll take her to the pounds i have sent a screenshot of that to anyone who has tried to question me if they tried to defend mother-in-law and sister-in-law i blocked them wide got around quickly about this and now sister-in-law is all but cut out of father-in-law's side of the family even father-in-law has come down on her sister-in-law heart desperately trying to apologize and fix this she even allowed jake to read everything mother-in-law sent to her about my last name i tried to read some of it but stopped i don't want to be angry i'm taking time to decide how to handle this i am happy to be done with mother-in-law she never really bothered me it does take a lot to get to me but i don't want her behavior and attitudes being normalized with my son i wasn't prepared for motherhood to have such a strong effect jake did admit he gave son my last name for my dad years ago my dad asked if jake was gonna propose to me jake said if my dad wanted to know he would give him a heads up but he wouldn't ask for his blessing or permission in many more words dad said he never had any expectations of that he didn't worry about gender roles though he was glad he would gain his son again jake didn't feel obligated he just wanted to do that for my dad sincerely thank you all edit hey everyone i didn't expect to wake up to the amount of messages i did i appreciate them all jake takes both the compliments and the insults as do i i also want to clear up some questions yes this is real but i'm not going to prove that mother-in-law took father-in-law's name they are divorced they have two daughters and two sons brother-in-law intends to have children and will pass on the smith name sister-in-law has a daughter who has sister-in-law's husband's name sister-in-law also took his name the younger sister-in-law is the one who sent the text i'm not going to apologize for how i spoke to mother-in-law after she encouraged her daughter to use my brother like that there is text proof that mother-in-law did this sister-in-law showed jake i have no intentions on seeking therapy or a relationship with either of them and that's the most that can be asked of me in this upset of a state if and when we have a second child i always intended for them to get jake's last name jake knows and is cool with it jake is willing to be called by my last name but i doubt he'll actually change it neither of us are willing to do paperwork out of spite either yes i still cry remembering my dad cry about this i always assumed jake did this for this reason he really is a great man and in the comments spargos says you've got yourself a great husband not a lot of people could stand their ground like he did good luck to both of you and your little son he's always been able to stand up for himself i won't say it didn't get to him especially what his sister did but he just runs it out he may also make himself a world's best husband t-shirt if he sees more compliments but he does deserve it and thank you would he consider changing his name to miller or would that just put more gasoline on the fire yes he would but he tries to not let anger make his decisions i also don't think he would because of the paperwork required and he does everything he can to avoid it including bribing me to do it that line call your dog off or i'll take her to the pound so bloody good i didn't mean it violently either just keep your yapping dog in your yard or i'll make it someone else's problem sister-in-law is still yapping just more whiny now i don't think she realized her family would draw a light in the sands the majority aren't necessarily taking outside but it's clear they're staying out of it because defending her isn't really an option she had it coming she should have known that you wouldn't just sit back and take her crap well i'm sure her mother compensated her well for it sister-in-law never really liked me much anyway this has been mentioned twice now so i got to ask what's the deal with the money angle does mother-in-law pay for support how monetary is her relationship with her daughter and others this is super concerning to be honest she just takes her son on shopping sprees when sister-in-law has pleased her sister-in-law gets much nicer gifts than everyone else and is randomly but not actually randomly treated to gifts like how she happened to get a really nice new car when she started refusing to see father-in-law during his time it's very concerning for someone else i'm sure but my sister-in-law is not and will not be my problem ever hold on your mother-in-law and father-in-law aren't even married anymore she's decided to nuke her own family over her ex-husband's last name she just kept saying it's the way it's done that's good enough for her i guess and titus vavonius says f your sister-in-law my brother died last year and if someone said some crap like that to me i'd never speak to them again she won't be hearing from me for a long time i am livid especially after some of the texts i saw jake says that i get to decide how to handle it even though she's his sister i don't think he ever thought that she'd do that but he's disappointed all the same i'm so sorry i lost my brother at the age of 16 and i've been begging my husband to let me name our hypothetical first-born son after him what sister-in-law did is cruel and i hope you put her in a very long time out mother-in-law is an arse too glad your husband has a shiny spine for you and bob i wanted my son to have his own first name but i demanded the middle name by one of my brothers when we have another the other name will be used and the last comment by grumble muffin happy for you both y'all sounded like you're both focused on protecting and nurturing what's important your son and each other our son will always come first we don't always agree what that means but in this case we both know it means no bull crap from family i wasn't ready to be as passionate about it as i was as jake initially didn't see the big deal but he listened to my anger and frankly isn't attached enough to his mother to care sister-in-law heard him more admittedly g'day there guys and that's the end of today's episode i do hope you enjoyed it and who are entertained by today's bloody good content as always i want to do a quick shout out and a thank you to all my channel members and patreon subscribers your beautiful faces and names will be up on screen right now haven't forgot about you guys sorry i was taking a little break there so yeah if you see yourself give yourself a pat on the back if you want to be on this screen there's links down to the description below where you can sign up and help support the channel and all future projects that i'm going to be doing on this one with all that said i hope you guys have an amazing day night sleep whatever you're up to i'll see you in the next episode and i do hope you enjoy it thank you

Channel: Markee

Views: 68,625

Rating: 4.8682122 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: 7V0TdHbJfj8

Length: 156min 53sec (9413 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 23 2021