r/AmiTheA**Hole For Telling My Wife To Wear Something Less Embarrassing?

g'day there guys it's your main man marky back at it again with another episode of r slash am i the a-hole now if you love this video like i love you i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy the bloody good contents posted by user am i the a-hole throwaway roman titled am i the a-hole for telling my wife i wanted her to wear something less embarrassing sounds sad but let me explain long story short my wife is an ancient history buff she speaks classical latin and can at least read some kinds of greek she really knows this stuff she is obsessed sometimes it's kind of awkward because she will use weird latin that no one knows and then explain it but it's whatever obviously watching movies like 300 with her sucks but she has a big interest and it's pretty cool overall but she's taken it a little too far she had me help her build this huge loom and she melted down lead shots to make weights for it it's gigantic and she wove huge sheets on it that she wears as togas i don't know what she actually calls them and they're like dresses and she says they aren't togas but i don't know stereotypical greek statue look she wears them a lot at first it was just around the house but then she made a fancier one out of like silky stuff that she died and she weighs it out at least once a week yesterday we ran into some friends we haven't seen since lockdown at a park she was wearing the dress they invited us to go to a beer garden later in the car i told her we were going home before going out so she could change she got really upset and told me she was really excited to talk to them about how we built a loom in quarantine and how she made it on her loom and dyed it accurately i just don't think it's appropriate for her to wear what is basically a costume out with friends and i don't want her talking about it all night she argued that lots of modern dresses have the same look and that with gold sandals and jewelry on she just looked dressing i got pretty mad and just told her i was embarrassed to be seen with her in a weird toga costume she decided to stay home so not changing clothes was more important to her than seeing our friends she hasn't talked to me since then last night am i the a-hole yes what are you doing making fun of your wife how have you progressed to this point of marrying her and being with her if you were this embarrassed to be around her and her hobby i don't get why atoga offends you so much you helped her out in the entire process and now you're like you know what's kind of embarrassing it's kind of cringe you're an a-hole you suck for doing that why is she still with you you're the a-hole your wife sounds super cool and you sound like a jerk who doesn't appreciate her she's absolutely correct that many dresses have the same design and it will not look that weird at all your wife has some cool interests that she's very dedicated to your friends won't be nearly as weird and judgmental about it as you are i know right i want to see a pic of the dress your wife sounds so cool could be because i'm a bit of a nerd but if i met someone who made a dress out of fabric they made on their own homemade loom i would be madly impressed your wife deserves a more supportive and fun husband you sound like a lame-o who is too worried about image i hope opie shows her this thread first so she can see how many people are impressed and think her work is awesome and cool and really want to see it second so she can see how many people think her husband is being an a-hole about it girl let your roman weaving flag fly who cares about embarrassing especially in casual situations it'd be one thing to break a dress code at a wedding or wear something that insults people but this isn't those things why not wear a bowl gown to shop for groceries if it makes you happy who gives a crap you're the a-hole i'm a latin teacher and i sort of really want to be friends with your wife right now my husband forbid me from speaking to the cats in latin anymore and after the accidental fire that may or may not have occurred during my recreation of escaping pompeii after the eruption of mount vesuvius i don't get to engage in much of my passion i do still have my sword though which comes in handy for mock gladiatorial combats let her do what makes her happy first off it's called a staller and most are either worn with two shoulders or tied around the neck unless there is something absolutely wild about the design i have a feeling it probably looks like a modern maxi dress especially if she isn't wearing a tunic undershirt would you really even notice the outfit if she was a stranger walking past in the streets probably not she's not wearing cosplay armor or anything out of place you're the a-holo-p although i want to see it because it sounds wicked cool posted by user musical carrots titled am i the a-hole for calling my aunt a freaking idiot and searching her room my aunt and cousin are staying with my family for a little while i have asthma and i take pills for it every night yesterday morning my cousin came up to me and asked if i could stop taking my pills because it triggers her anyone else in the world i would have said no but my cousin is a recovering drug addict so i said i can take it in another room but i still have to take it she got mad but left me alone night came when i was supposed to take my meds i leave my meds on my desk so i know where it is i went to my desk to grab it and it was gone i asked everyone in my house if they had taken it and they said no i had this feeling in my guts like i already knew what happened i went into the room my aunt and cousin were staying in and started searching i looked in the bedside table and there they were my meds my aunt walked in right as i was going to take them and started screaming at me about going into her room last i checked this was still my parents house she grabbed the meds out of my hand and said it's really difficult for my cousin not to relapse when she knows i'm taking pills dude they're pink and bubblegum flavoured they're barely even pills she said that i'm going to have to do without my meds while they were there now let me just say my aunt is one of those crazy anti-vaxx essential oil type tramps she doesn't believe in asthma so i snatched my meds out of her hand and called her a fudging idiot because i can't breathe if i don't take those meds she got angry and told my mum that i called her a fudging idiot and searched the room my mum took away my phone am i the a-hole by the way i take five milligrams of monte lucas for anyone wondering mum and dad are in their 40s i'm 14 my cousin is 17. please don't bash my mom she's punished me for the cursing and i don't think she got the whole story also for the people asking my mum and dad were on a date when i noticed my meds were gone update so i told my mom the whole story and she gave me back my phone then sent me to my room while her and my dad talked to my aunt and cousin update 2 my mom told my aunt to apologize or she's getting kicked out no i don't think you're an a-hole for reacting like you did because they were stealing your life-saving medication away from you like how brainless can you be that you think god you know if you take your medication that's gonna save you in front of me i'm gonna relapse back into my addiction it is not your place to tell a 14 year old not to take their asthma medication you're the one that made those choices to put yourself in such a situation at 17 years old you cannot control the 14 year old especially not over something like this opie you were not the a-hole and you did everything right in my point of view mr brinks says your aunt potentially risked your life you already reached a compromise with your cousin about taking the pills out of sight if she is so new in her recovery that the idea of someone taking medicine regularly out of sight is enough to trigger her she should be in an inpatient facility getting additional treatments your mom is a piece of work i can't understand her reaction and i'm sorry opie not the a-hole glad this is up pretty high because the cousin really should be seeking treatment if a it's that easy for her to relapse and b her mother believes she has the means to relapse or access to her addictive substances or behavior i'm surprised the mother even believes in addiction since she doesn't seem to believe in anything else her views of treatment might be out of whack and it's possible she wouldn't sign her daughter up her cousin sounds like a dry drunk if you stop taking drugs and don't get counseling to deal with whatever made you want to take the drugs in the first place you aren't recovered you were one bad day away from being worse off than you were the first time that you quit drug addiction is a compound mental disorder that uses drugs as a means of easy dopamine serotonin release and is almost always a coping mechanism for depression anxiety and a myriad of other disorders that need separate treatments long story short if a crackpot mother doesn't get the child some counselling then they're still a drug addict they just haven't taken drugs in a while all it takes is one scene in a movie where someone takes a pill anything of that sort and instantly the mental trigger is there and they want to get back on the horse as a quite young person especially counselling for the cousin is absolutely critical here and i hope to god the mother wakes up to that and doesn't try and push pseudo-intellectual nonsense like essential oils as treatment not the a-hole someone's addiction is their responsibility to handle even if we were talking about an alcoholic telling someone not to drink alcohol it still wouldn't be reasonable let alone someone telling you you can't take pills you need to survive i'm not so sure i agree with that and i think there are circumstances where it's okay to expect someone to try to help avoiding triggering an addict but this isn't one of them i am against the concept of pills the main difference is that you don't need alcohol but you do need medication you can avoid drinking or having alcohol in the house if a recovering addict is there since it is not necessary to your health but you can't avoid your medicine the addict just has to deal with a compromise my husband's uncle is a recovering alcoholic and i did not know that uncle and dance came over for a visit i ordered him a beer he said no thanks i went upstairs to my bedroom to grab something and my husband followed me told me his uncle used to be an alcoholic and to be careful in the future later on i apologized to his wife and said i didn't know she said it's good when someone asks him because then he gets to say no and everyone always babies him because of it anyway the point i'm making is that the chance to see no in social situations or be able to exhibit self-control is huge for a lot of recovering people and they have worked hard for that posted by user mortgage georent titled am i the a-hole for not wanting to split my boyfriend's mortgage payments i 26 female have been with my boyfriend 29 male for a year and a half and we've brought up the idea of moving in together a few times the problem is he owns a house and has owned it since before we ever met so this brings up the issue of mortgage payments i have no problem splitting utility bills groceries recreational stuff like netflix internet etc however he wants whether it's straight down the middle by usage or through a kind of give and take that stuff is totally fair to me he also brought up that he'd like me to split the mortgage payments down the middle but i don't feel like that's fair the biggest issue is that i don't feel comfortable paying half the mortgage payments for a house that isn't mine if we broke up he would keep the money i put into the house and i would have nothing to show for it he bought the house himself so i feel like he already committed to making those payments himself off his own income plus me splitting bills should make his monthly expenses a little less too he's uncomfortable with this and has tried to frame it like paying rent but it's not rent it's a house that's in his name and he will own one day and it feels like a power dynamic where i move in sleep with him and help pay off his house so if we break up it's all a win-win for him and i'm left with nothing besides it's not a place i would choose to live because it's double the commutes to work every morning compared to where i live now plus i just moved into my apartment two years ago so all my furniture is relatively new and all my own but he's already furnished his place and is happy with it as is so i'd have to give away or sell all of my furniture for a fraction of what i just paid for it it feels like i'm at the losing end of everything here and even if he tries to frame it as paying rent it's still a crappy deal i pointed out that if we think of it like rent then it's his job to shovel the driveway and take care of the yard and that he'll take care of and pay for all repairs and maintenance etc he got upset and felt like i was just being spiteful and petty but i feel like he's missing the point ultimately i feel like he committed to buying the house and for me to pay half of that is not fair on me when we aren't getting a 50 50 split of the house in the big picture am i the a-hole eta i'm not against paying a fraction of the mortgage's rent which is 10 to 30 percent i just don't feel it's fair to pay half of it like he wants me to added two didn't expect this to blow up and i wasn't going to come back because i've been getting some pretty nasty dms but i wanted to say that i didn't originally post the difference in rent versus mortgage a month because i was asking more about the principal in general here for those wondering half the mortgage he's asking me pay combined with splitting his utilities my current places all inclusive i would only be saving between 100 to 150 a month from what i'm already paying at my current apartments and a lot of that would be spent on gas for the increased commutes final updates i have asked my boyfriend to start bringing up talks of moving in together for the time being he's a bit hurt but we'll work through it hopefully i just want to make it clear that i never wanted to be added on to the deed nor did i ever expect to live rent free it didn't and still doesn't feel like a healthy dynamic for my boyfriend and i to be paying the exact same amount every month yet he has full authority over everything in the house furniture renovations etc and if we were to break up i would be the one without a place to stay especially since i'd be paying the same per month as i pay now so he would be saving money while i spent about the same paying around 30 would allow me to save up my money in case something went horribly wrong between us and i was left without furniture without a room to sleep in and without a proper landlord who would be required to let me stay there for 60 days until i found another place that was what i meant by having nothing to show for it if we break up thanks for reading god can you please cut your sentences down op you're writing a paragraph a sentence but i think everyone sucks here in this situation i think they're both being rocks that are unmoving and i do think that i don't know if there's an easy solution in this one she doesn't want to be on the deed of the house she doesn't want to live rent free she wants to pay around 30 percent which isn't a fair split but he's unmoving in his decisions too this is just a big gigantic mess and she keeps talking about if we break up if we break up it sounds like a breakup is on the horizon i think both of them suck for the actions they have taken in this one and i wish them all the best in their future it doesn't really look like there's a clear winner in this dispute everyone sucks here pay rent decide on a fair market value for rent maintenance bills are on him he needs to let you furnish a part of the home i wish this comment was higher because this is exactly the right answer op pays market value rent they split the monthly bills and home maintenance and exterior crap like snow removal roof paint plumbing etc are on the boyfriends i agree that paying market value rent and splitting the utilities is a good idea but maybe they should take into consideration that she wouldn't necessarily pick the area because of the commutes not sure how that would be reflected though maybe as a consideration of time lost and fuel cost oh she should definitely get a discount if he wants market rate to rent he will have to put up with a roommate who won't have sex with him or help him with any of the chores or share any groceries then he will also have to deal with the roommates policing when he can have his girlfriend over everything from her post tells me she doesn't want to move in to begin with good for that dude though buying a house she's gonna have to pay rent somewhere at least he's not throwing it in a hole posted by user height short 7332 titled am i the a-hole for not forgiving my husband for a mistake he made a decade ago when i had our oldest child i planned for just my husband and died to be there i wanted support but not to be overwhelmed and he was happy it would be just us he said if i had let my sister in the room like she wanted he would have expressed his issues with it the labor seemed fine enough a buddy wanted to see him before buddy went on vacation buddy even had the audacity to say i should have had the baby sooner my husband went to see him off he never asked he just told me and i was having a contraction so i literally couldn't even tell him i wanted him to stay while he was gone things took a turn and they told me i was becoming high risk i opted for an epidural in the event i needed an emergency c-section because they said i was on my way to the or if our heart rates got worse i wanted to wait but i couldn't take the pain stress and lack of support all at once the nurse did her best to assure me i was amazing and making a good choice my husband strolls back in big smile on his face and starts talking about the fun he just had i cut him off to tell him i was livid hurt and that he could go sit in the corner until pushing time he was only there because i wanted to tell our child he was present for the birth that i was the better person and he should be grateful he sulked away and the nurse treated him accordingly i stayed high risk and the room flooded with nurses at pushing time fortunately both baby and i surprised them though we were both monitored for a few days i agreed to go back to our home under the condition every single demand i had was met he agreed though we continued to have some rough moments without seconds i had my sister presents i told him it's because i knew she wouldn't let me down he didn't argue but i know he was hurt by this the birth went really well and he was a good support we have had many ups and downs since including a separation and now we are trying to reconcile anderin therapy he brought up recently this and asked if i forgave him i told him no i'm never going to i don't bring it up anymore but the anger and disappointment i felt then is still as strong as it is now he looked defeated and said he can't apologize anymore for it and as long as i hold on to that anger we are going to have trouble moving on and building trust i don't disagree with him but i don't think i can forgive him for that i know he's made improvements but that moment changed how i felt about him and saw him as a person i honestly feel like allowing him in the room at all was all the kindness he could have asked of me but admittedly i did that for our child i don't bring it up and our therapist said i'm good at giving opportunities but i don't think i'll ever be able to say i forgive you for that edits the second child was not planned but a birth control fail while we were both working on our marriage i did not plan on having another child with him until our marriage was in a better place but i accept it and i do not regret having the second child he was present when our second child was born and even cut the cord like he did with the first edits i'm done commenting for now but i would like to clear things up i did end the marriage for other reasons my husband wants to work things out and i am trying giving all of his efforts he has also read the comments despite many of you judging me and taking his side he can't feel supported by this he also doesn't understand how all of you blame me for stringing him along he is the one who wanted another chance that i didn't have to give to him he absolutely does not want me to end our relationship over this and is worried about the encouragement i have been given with some of the other comments he's realizing how unfair he has been to me he absolutely brings it up to soothe his own guilt not because i do anything to him about that we both will discuss this with our own therapists and well as the marriage counselor when we can finally get back to her thank you for your judgments this really did help i would like to be optimistic in this situation and think that they can repair this relationship between them i feel like we've gotten a pretty good spread of both sides and that not too much has been held back from us i guess i think obviously the husband did a lot of wrong in the situation by leaving i think he was ignorant and was strung along by a stupid friend and was easily you know i wouldn't say manipulated but i think he put the priorities of his body in saying goodbye to him too high over being there for his own child and i don't blame the wife for being pissed off at him for that i can't obviously empathize because i can't have kids but you know she could have been scared for her life in that moment she was high risk she had a lot of other people in the room there scared for her life as well as the babies that really isn't something you can easily forgive someone for just walking out on you like that even if they did come back and i don't really know a good compromise in this situation i do hope that the marriage counselor can help them through it and yeah it's not looking good that's for sure everyone sucks here in the moments yes you should have been livid it's understandable even if it's something you cannot get past this could be a deal breaker for many people but you stayed in the relationship and brought another child into it knowing you would not forgive this he sucks for leaving you suck for holding onto it while acting like you were moving forward with a life with him agreed he done screwed up royally and i don't think rb has to forgive it but what kind of relationship can you have when a mistake is always looming like that and op replies i've been thinking about how to respond to this comment a lot up until now i feel like an a-hole for not forgiving him a lot of my friends his friends and a ton of our family have taken my side and said he doesn't deserve forgiveness but i also feel like an a-hole for ending the relationship over this but i had to face the possibility of our child dying alone and while he has been great in so many other ways he expects me to let go of that so he feels better i'm really torn about how to handle this he expects me to let go of that so he feels better i would argue that it's not just so that he feels better what kind of partnership can you have if one person will never deeply trust the other person how can your relationship ever be equal if there will always be a power imbalance because you will always hold this over his head not a value judgment on your feelings just a statement of the relationship dynamic that you've described i'm not saying you have to forgive him but i am saying that neither of you will ever have the relationship you deserve if you try to stay married while this issue remains unresolved this is also why i don't think most people can make it work after cheating there are some things that we are unable to forgive and move past and once that trust is broken there's never going to be an equal and trusting partnership if you truly can't ever forgive him it's time to stop the insanity i think there are two things here one your husband needs to learn to accept that he offered an apology and was not forgiven he needs to find a way to move from that and not live in fear it will be held against him a genuine apology is not about being forgiven or about resolving guilty feelings it is about acknowledging the wrong you have done and seeking to do better regardless of the other person's response two you both need to hear that forgiveness is a process for the person doing the forgiving not the person apologizing forgiveness reaching a point where you were no longer experiencing anger or pain from the wrong you've suffered if you are not ready to forgive that does not make you a terrible person it just means it still hurts you deeply ultimately forgiveness is not the cure to your husband's guilty feelings and a disingenuous forgiveness from you will only breed resentment the thing is a lot of people here seem to be under the impression of it that i'm holding it over him i'm not i gave him chances and good faith and he let me down our marriage ended for other reasons this is just one thing i'm struggling to deal with for the rest i am working with and my therapist is very pleased with both of us i think the problem is that people don't often grasp that trust closure and forgiveness can be independent of each other i think you've reached a place of closure and you've rebuilt trust with him but you haven't forgiven him and that's okay i really don't think your husband has grasped that and he hasn't offered himself closure so he doesn't see that you have reached a place of closure even though you still carry the hurt and our boy ghost in your pants offers some good words of advice here's the thing my grandma taught me that in every single long-term relationship that you have whether family friend or lover eventually the other person will do something that disappoints you deeply and makes you question everything good about them it's human nature people make terrible mistakes every day for me i feel like how you react to that mistake is the turning point for understanding your choice to love someone through it if you can look at the big horrible thing and say to yourself i hate this thing about you but i will choose to love you anyways because having you in my life is worth that pain then that's real man and sometimes you have to make that choice more than once and sometimes you have to understand when that thing is a deal breaker but to go on and on and on and keep these horrible things between the two of you is just not healthy another thing my grandma used to tell me was you gotta crap or get off the pots thank you grandma lovely words of advice posted by user deleted titled am i the a-hole for holding the health and safety of my dogs over the comfort of my cousin and her family earlier today my distant cousin told me that she slash husband three kids were coming to visit she asks if they can all stay in our house since we have the space and since they want to avoid paying for a hotel for two weeks i reminded her that we have two dogs golden retrievers who shed a lot and she and her kids are very allergic i'll point out that i did not at any time say that she and her family could stay to begin with i simply avoided by bringing up our dogs then she tells me that i need to leave them outside or board them i told her that we are neither putting them outside where it's far too hot to leave the dogs right now nor boarding them up in doggy daycare for two weeks especially since my 13 year old is diabetic needs regular blood glucose testing and insulin and has a set routine to manage her diabetes plus aside from the dogs her husband is a bit okay a lot of a homophobe and i'm not going to have him spewing bile to me and my fiance into our own home for two weeks but i didn't tell her any of this she responds by telling me that i should put my older dog to sleep because she's already old and because she has diabetes she then says i would only need to put one dog in doggy daycare if i did that she then asks me if my dogs are more important to me than her and her family i flatly told her that they were i also told her that after her comments and her husband's pre-existing behavior there isn't any possible manner in which i hold her and her family in higher regard than my fiance and what are basically my furry babies i advised her that she is not welcome to call on us at our home that i decline any invitation to get together at any time and sarcastically encouraged her to have a wonderful vacation am i the a-hole update i don't appreciate the private hate mail i've gotten about this stay safe everyone even from the start i didn't think you're an a-hole given what the husband is like and the fact that she just wants to have two weeks free doesn't even offer to pay for the doggie daycare if you were ever going to be you know in that position to put them somewhere else just straight up entitled parents demands left right center middle screw them how about we put one of her kids down while we're at it so that they only have to deal with the one that seems normal to me and why don't we make demeaning comments about their relationship the entire time they're staying with you because hey that's normal and healthy too let's do that there is no universe in which i would ever consider you the a-hole in the situation op you keep doing you hey would it be cool if we crashed for two weeks i'll need you to kill your dog by the way not the a-hole and what the hell right having the goal to suggest boarding a dog for the comfort of her stay is wild to bring up euthanizing it is so far beyond the pale that i'm at a loss not only would i dismiss this psychopath out of hand i'd seriously consider our relationship going forward not the a-hole i have a cat and my paternal grandmother doesn't exactly like any sorts of pets but other than the time we were getting him she doesn't say a word about the cats because she understands that he is part of our family she will not pet him a lot but she shows that she has started to like him i am quite allergic to cats growing up my aunt had two very fuzzy ones and soft furniture that easily absorbed the cat dander my parents insisted on visiting my aunt and uncle for christmas each year even though i would constantly sneeze and wheeze as a result even still i never told my aunts to put her cats outside or board them even for one evening those are part of her family not the a-hole telling you to put your dog down that's messed up also boarding your dog for two weeks would have been expensive instead of her having to pay to stay somewhere you would be paying for them to stay with you i'd have them pay for the boarding as there's no way i would ever pay for someone else to use my home even then boarding dogs is extremely stressful to them they're shut in a crate for a good chunk of time surrounded by other dogs and crates and away from their family when i go on trips i always check if a family member or a friend would take care of my dog before i would ever consider staying at a boarding facility especially if it's for two weeks night's old boarding is like that my boarding place in florida had large room-sized kennels a huge yard and a boat and private island where they took groups of dogs to let them run and swim and play in the gulf of mexico all very highly supervised and with all the doggies wearing life jackets my dog bear never wanted to come home after staying there to be clear though in no way was this crazy relative okay for insisting anyone do anything with their pets for their comfort and convenience that's insanity posted by user am i the ahole adopted brother one titled am i the a-hole for telling my sister that our parents chose to adopt me while she was an accident my sister emily didn't like me from the moment i got there i remember that when i wanted to play with her she wouldn't share her toys or talk to me until i asked our parents to help and they'd force her to share when we were in high school things were a bit better since our interests began to overlap and we did have some conversations but she was always distant she spoke to me like i'm a stranger our parents hated that we weren't getting along and forced us to hang out they locked us into a room many times to force us to interact but she would act friendly and fake laughs and conversations until they'd opened the door thinking we were getting along then she'd run out and go back to not talking to me again they sent us to therapy together but emily would just sit there staring at the floor and never talk they even paid for us to go on a short trip together a few years back but she got her friends to join us without telling me about it and the whole trip i was alienated and isolated our parents were furious when they found out and they didn't speak to her for a month i also found out that she was conceived on valentine's day and she was unplanned our father told us this when he was drunk at a party and he thought it was hilarious but i saw she was hurt when i tried to approach her she slammed her door in my face and refused to speak to me for weeks once emily hit 18 she moved across the country and rarely visited she moved back home now because of current events this morning our parents were not home and this happens i asked her to bring me something from the kitchen when i saw her going towards it and she said no i snapped and asked her why are you still being so cold to me i've been so nice and have tried to have a relationship with you but you refused to budge she yelled at me and said you aren't my brother i never considered you to be my brother so stop trying and she proceeded to say i wouldn't even care about your existence if it weren't for the fact that my parents adopted you it made me so angry and i told her that our parents chose to adopt me you were an accident so watch what you say she screamed at me and left the room after that and began packing up her stuff i tried to stop her but she told me to freak off and left the house before our parents got home she was crying and i was still angry so i let her go i have no idea where she went and she isn't answering her phone our parents got back and were upset when i told them what happened and tried calling her but she didn't answer they comforted me when i told them what she said and it made me feel a little better i called one of her friends who picked up and told me i'm a huge a-hole and that she wants me to stay away from emily she told me not to contact emily ever again and that she isn't going to come back she said she is going no contact with me and our parents indefinitely and that she despises me as a person am i the a-hole here this is one of those ones again it's uh everyone sucks here in this situation but i think emily sucks more so she can dish out an entire childhood of bullying abuse and just ignoring them and making them feel unwanted but the one time they clap back it's like you know what i'm done i don't need to take this abuse from someone i've been abusing my whole life i don't think op should have said that but at the same time i don't blame you for saying that after being abused for so long by them it really sucks that you said something so hurtful and i feel like it was unnecessary to say it's so you shouldn't have said that dude boing says everyone sucks here your sister obviously has issues with you being family and she's always alienated you but saying something like that to hurt her is not a good thing to do you're both obviously hurting and you're directing it at each other which is only making things worse and solo style replies you're the a-hole dude you guys don't get along she doesn't like you there is a lot going into that and at least from your side it doesn't look like it's your fault and more your guys parents but she doesn't have to like you and you can be upset by that fact where you absolutely crossed the line is telling her she was an accident knowing that she was hurt by that before everything she had just said while hurtful in the moment was how she felt about you it might not be what you wanted to hear but it was what she felt and had every right to feel and she kept it between your guys's relationship saying she wouldn't care about your existence she wouldn't have known you if you weren't adopted that's a fact that's not even her saying you were lucky to be adopted or anything like that which would put her in the a-hole territory you went for the jugular because you could because you're the favorites acknowledge it and leave her alone if you want to try and do some good here call out your crappy parents who made her feel that way apparently her entire childhood update after reading your comments you're an even bigger a-hole one don't contact her that's the least you can do it would literally only be to make you feel like a better person two siblings have strange relationships all the time you were not entitled to be coddled by her you clearly had your parents for that and three she deserved to be punished for hurting your feelings on a vacation grow up no she didn't and certainly not by being ignored by your parents for a month she invited friends to be a buffer with someone she didn't like honestly i don't blame her because she clearly didn't have any support at home i'll try and find the comments info how old were you slash her when you were adopted how old are you now there is a lot of info we're not getting and it's weird that you were sent to therapy together you should have had separated sessions it's actually weird that you were forced to do anything together at all i was eight and she was six they wanted the therapist to make us get along and be friendly with each other so they sent us to therapy and that was usually for two hours five days a week this went on for almost a year and she just didn't talk during the therapy and the therapist asked us to let her be but our parents were adamant about it and sort out another therapist but emily refused to go and would lock herself in the bedroom if they tried to make her go for it now i am 22 and she is 20. what other questions do you have rp didn't answer any more questions there here is a comment though but there's like four paragraphs before it that are way too long but their reply is i was eight when i was adopted i'm two years older to her our parents were certainly more hard on her i would ask them not to be but it wasn't that bad i would get whatever i wanted but they would make her work for it by completing a few chores they said she'd lived comfortably for more years than i did and to make it equal she had to do more chores than i did i don't think it makes a lot of sense and i tried to stop it but she only objected a few times and then would do it without seeing anything hope that gives you guys in the comments a bit more to work with posted by user apartment trouble titled am i the a-hole for telling this college guy's mom that her coming into his interview cost him the job i am a hiring manager at a tech company and i was hiring for a summer internships a little while ago we had a guy about 19 years old applying for a summer internship between his freshman and sophomore years of college it was a virtual interview over zoom because of kovid a minute or two in when i was introducing myself his mom came in and introduced herself and started talking about her son's work ethic i thought it was a little strange i said something polite about wanting to hear from him she just didn't get the hint and kept coming into camera frame during the interview and interrupting her son to answer questions for him i asked a few technical questions which he seemed to answer well and then cut the interview fairly short i thought that was all over and done with until i'd gotten an email from a woman a month later asking about her son's application she seemed offended he hadn't gotten an acceptance or rejection it bothered me i felt bad for the kid honestly way back when i was a teenager my mum used to pull the same crap but luckily she only did that when i was 15 and working for a day camp not when i was an adult applying for engineering jobs but i felt like this poor kid was getting his chances ruined because his mum wasn't giving him the chance to apply on his own i sent an email back saying i was not at liberty to send information about an application to anybody but the applicant i also asked hr to send an email to the kid saying sorry but we were not making him an offer it's something we usually do but his rejection email must have slipped through the cracks with all the covered craziness anyway after we sent that i got a phone call from his mom she had forwarded a copy of the email and she was demanding answers i said that i could not comment on the guy's performance in the interview to her as she was not the applicant if he wanted to reach out to me i was happy to give him some feedback however i could say that regardless of his performance her presence in the interview took him out of consideration for the position we were looking for an independent and self-driven person for the position and for that reason it is important to see an applicant speak for themselves follow up themselves etc i also said that as a piece of advice every hiring manager i've met in my career who sees someone other than the applicant answering questions during an interview following up on the applicant's behalf etc would also put their resume in the do not hire pile since while the applicant may be skilled and motivated they need the ability to demonstrate those traits themselves she fudging blew up at me over that kinda cursing me out to the point where i hung up am i the a-hole for how i handled this maybe i should have kept my mouth shut way earlier no she kept coming at you and she won't take no for an answer i think that you did what was right and what's required of you think you handled it well and not like an a-hole would handle the situation so more power to you not the a-hole it's probably better for the kid that you told her directly seeing as she clearly does not respect him enough to believe him if he disclosed that she cost him the job she snapped at you because you gave her feedback that painted her in a poor light and she thought she did her son a wonderful favor you're probably the first person in a while to stand up to her you're right she needed someone to burst her freaking bubble though i kind of feel bad for that guy because he probably doesn't want his mother to baby him like that but he's in a pickle because he seemingly still lives with her not the a-hole but take that with a grain of salt as in the end that dude was treated unfairly for things out of his control maybe he should have been given some sort of chance i mean even his interview was cut short so he had no way to make up for that yeah the poor guy lives with his mother can't move out until he has money for rent can't get money for rent without a job and can't get a job while he lives with his mother edits hopefully when covert calms down he can get in-person interviews where his mother can't ruin his chances unless his mother shows up for in-person interviews also not the a-hole i feel so bad for this poor man not the a-hole helicopter mom needed to be put in her place hopefully she learns sadly while i think it's crappy someone gets put in the dnh pile for something like that i can completely understand why hopefully the young man can solve that issue and get hired somewhere else posted by user dr emile schofhausen titled am i the a-hole for hiding the good tortilla chips i and my husband have a favorite brand of tortilla chips however my husband never and i mean never clips the bag after helping himself to chips and thus the rest of the chips in the bag go stale i asked so many times to reclose the bag but honestly got tired of being a nag and tired of stale chips so i started to stash a second bag of chips for me when my husband rarely looks my thinking was i obviously care about freshness more than he does so i'll make sure to have a fresh stash and he can dip from the open bag well after a couple of months of this he found my stash then he accused me of making him eat stale chips for the record i never made him eat anything he says i should just close the community bag because it's not a big deal and when i say well if it's not a big deal why don't you do it he just says he's forgetful i seriously will probably just find a new hiding place but am i the a-hole is there a better option edits this is a major transgression for him he is otherwise awesome it's just this specific issue i'm asking about divorce is not on the table unless he starts to leave the guac without the lid second edit thank you to everyone who has given suggestions to make it easier for him clips rubber bands large zip locks airtight containers i tried them all clips slide discarded on the counter rubber bands the same the ziploc bags will remain open and lids on anything else will remain off or open is he lazy thoughtless in this instance did he intend on getting more chips before leaving the kitchen and forgetting it's all of them and i got tired of it so i thought there was a chance i would be the a-hole because i gave up and decided to just take care of myself here that being said it's been super fun reading about how so many people have secret stashes i think it's clear that opie is not the a-hole in this situation and the husband refused to change his dance on the chips he deserves to eat the stale chips end of story don't be mad that your wife can't work with you not compromising what's wrong with you silly silly husband i don't think that i would call you the a-hole here because if he can't close a bag of shared food items then complains about it that automatically makes him the a-hole in my book however i think you guys should just establish that there is no community chip bag anymore when you go to the store literally purchase two have two different clips of different colors red for you blue for him and clip them to your respective bags and eat out of your respective bags since covered i buy like six bags at a time to avoid shopping more often not the a-hole and love how you had to preemptively mention that you aren't going to divorce him over this so many posts get crazy with red flags and gas lighting and some rightly so i wanted to make it clear that this is not a deal breaker what about a large container or ziplock bag to put chips in you're obviously not the a-hole here i do the same thing with my partner my bag and his bag posted by user throwaway because bdh titled am i the a-hole for telling my family to stop celebrating six years ago i met the best person in the world she was a sweet old lady that moved in next door named maggie maggie taught me how to knit we watched mama's family together i helped her give her cat her medicine i helped her water her plants when she got too frail to do it herself she needed me a hat for every holiday i helped her install wi-fi and maggie was a nurse in world war ii maggie passed away three months ago at the age of 94. she went peacefully in her sleep and it is the heartbreak of my life about two weeks after she died i noticed a man walking into maggie's house maggie didn't have any family except for a nephew who lived across the country i went up to him and asked who he was and he said he was going to clean out his aunt's things that was the end of that until yesterday maggie's nephew had rung my doorbell and had told me that maggie left me most everything she had in her will maggie left me one million dollars in an account that i can open when i turn 18. most of her personal effects and her cats blue who i rescued two days after she died and kept she wrote me and her nephew letters she said some stuff i would rather not share it tore me up about maggie even more she was such a gentle soul and she deserved better i started crying and i told my parents they started celebrating about it immediately and i asked them to stop and they did until today where they presented me with a cake that said hey you get to go to college to say that it made me upset is an understatement i get that maggie's money is a life-changing thing but i would much rather have maggie i told them to stop celebrating then i went to my room to hold blue and cry my brother knocked on my door and told me i was being an a-hole because our parents are just happy for me am i the a-hole no no you're not an a-hole and it's obvious that they just don't understand where you're coming from neither of them all can relate to the grief that you're feeling right now for maggie but unfortunately that is the way that life is and everyone has a time that they've gotta go and maggie was lucky to have you opie and very lucky to make it to the ripe old age of 94. a lot of people i know didn't even make it past 20 so you know i would rather be in maggie's shoes than that but judging by all the actions and everything described in this post i wouldn't say that you're the a-hole your parents are being insensitive they probably are just happy for you but never learned proper empathy for situations like this they may be trying in the worst way possible to cheer you up but regardless they're going about this wrong and not letting you have your grief might be worth trying to talk to a therapist or someone about this since none of your family are giving you proper supports they obviously care more about the money than the close friend you lost not the a-hole yes they care about the money but i think it's because it's such a weight lifted for them they are obviously thankful for the deceased neighbor's generous gift to their daughter but i think it also might be them hoping it helps her get through her sadness they probably hate seeing opie having such a hard time and might think they are helping cheer her up it's totally the wrong way to go about it as she needs time to grieve the brother is the actual a-hole here as he is mediating terribly opie is not the a-hole edits i referred to opie as a female and nowhere in the post does it say that my bad but it isn't their money so them having a cake that says you get to go to college as if the parents have enough money to send op now they don't it's not their money i've never had someone celebrate for someone else's large windfall of money they think it's their money that's why they're celebrating or they think oh thank goodness there's no way we could have paid for her college it doesn't mean they're out to fleece her seriously you wouldn't know it from reading am i the a-hole but in the real world not every family is toxic i know many families who would legit just be happy for their child getting the kinds of opportunities this kind of inheritance would afford them their celebration is turn deaf and inappropriate but i can easily imagine normally caring parents who weren't close to the deceased feeling such a burden lifted from them because of this inheritance that they go a little too far still not the a-hole to the op but let's not jump to assuming they're horrible monsters posted by user pinching berries titled am i the a-hole for having a bowel movement when we had company over hi everybody i hope someone can give me perspective here i am a 24 year old woman and my boyfriend is a 25 year old man for the purposes of this post i'll call my boyfriend jake jake had a guest over yesterday in the afternoon max and they were playing video games and having snacks in the living room when max started setting up his switch jake took a quick trip to the corner shop to get drinks and snacks i went out to greet him and ask him how things were we talked a bit because we know each other pretty well now around the time that max was done putting the chords in the right places jake was back and ready to hang out not wanting to be a bother i just relaxed on the armchair playing with my phone during their play session i started to feel a bowel movement coming as i typically do in such a situation i headed to the bathroom i did my business washed my hands and when i left they were both looking at me weirdly i thought nothing of it so i messed around with my phone on our armchair while they kept playing max abruptly said he had something to do gathered his things and left when he left he and jake were talking in front of our apartment for a few minutes this was strange to me as max implied he was in a hurry when he left after my boyfriend sat back down he asked if i was feeling unwell or if i'd eaten something that didn't agree with me i said i felt fine and he sort of sighed and asked why i had to go number two in the bathroom attached to the living room this stunned me for a second because i never expected such a question about my bathroom habits in my own apartments but jake kept pressing the issue and asked why i wouldn't go use the bathroom in the master bedroom i told him the living room bathroom was closest he finally got visibly irritated and told me that he and max had heard everything i did in there which made them kind of uncomfortable this was when i finally got it he wanted me to be discreet and go poo in a place where i wouldn't inconvenience him i scoffed at this and told him that in my apartment where i live i was going to go to the bathroom wherever i wanted well not wherever but you get the idea then i asked if this was the first time he realized i defecated or if i hurt his sensibilities by excreting as a woman he said no but that at least when company was over he thought i should have some degree of modesty then he told me not only did they hear it but they smelled it faintly after i left the bathroom i'm completely hurt but jake insists that at least when guests are over i should try to be a bit more modest i don't think i'm the a-hole here but i can't be sure did i really do something wrong i'm gonna be real i'm on jake's side on this one i'm sorry op i think they both do suck here i think it's an everyone sucks your evaluation but it is not appropriate to be pulling right next to company when you have friends over even in your own apartment i'd get as far away as possible because i don't want to hear plonk plunk plunk and oh no it's just not good is it it's rude to tell someone what they should and shouldn't do in their own house i understand that but i feel like this was more opie didn't realize what they were doing and maybe it's just a kind thing to tell them hey in the future look out for this that's just me though some people are different i understand that i believe that everyone sucks here leaning on opie sucks more pooping in public oh wait says everyone sucks here i'm a strong supporter of pooping wherever see username for reference but i think if you have the option of going in a second private bathroom as opposed to the one the guests might use then you should definitely do that in the future however max is also childish for just leaving because he could hear someone doing their business agreed i have no shame about the fact i have to poop but if i have people sitting on the couch then i'd prefer to head up to the bathroom of my master rather than the one where they're sitting waiting for my exits and then we'll use next i'd also prefer my guests do the same frankly leaving because someone pooped is ridiculously childish though and i agree to that also i'm not saying you should do this but i've been dating my girlfriend for one and a half years and occasionally her dad will come out of the bathroom and warn us that he blew it up oh lovely i'd say that if you had the option to go elsewhere that offered discretion you're the a-hole your apartment yes but not everyone is comfortable hearing and smelling another bowels exploding so it was probably a bit awkward for them both having to act like they didn't hear it etc no one is saying that you have to hold it in but if you had the option to dispel it in a more discreet locale you should do so when with guests as a general courtesy posted by user dramaticsherbert612 titled am i the a-hole for not helping my husband babysit i never wanted kids the idea of family is very suffocating to me and i was never willing to date a man with children when i met my husband he said that he didn't have any and didn't want any a year later when he was drinking he admitted that he had gotten his high school girlfriend pregnant when they were both 18 and begged her to abort but she hadn't wanted to so he had a son who he had never met and he had signed away his parental rights i was annoyed that he had lied but i 100 believe that men have the right to walk away when my stepson was 16 his mother passed away and he found my husband's contact information from an old friend i completely supported my husband taking him and stepping up and i actually really liked him we have a good friendship but obviously he doesn't view me as a parent he married the most annoying woman ever and they have three children he recently asked if we would be able to babysit overnight so they could go to a wedding my husband agreed and i reminded everyone i don't babysits my husband said it would be fine and i didn't need to help well that lasted about 10 minutes because my husband does not know what to do with children and he was begging me for help his daughter-in-law gave him a list of rules and things they aren't allowed to eat so he was in a pissy mood over that and once the kids actually started running around and making noise he couldn't handle it and expected me to step in well i didn't i'm actually a terrible person and let them have water guns so my husband ended up throwing a tantrum and locking himself in the bedroom i did make sure the children didn't die but like i stated to everyone involved i do not babysit they got into food they weren't supposed to have no allergies and didn't sleep at all but they are alive daughter-in-law is furious with me because i'm the woman and i am apparently responsible and my husband is off sulking well it sounds like they shouldn't have asked you guys to babysit then that's on your husband's not you if he can't handle kids he shouldn't have accepted doing it they should have got someone that can babysit the children ropi continually says i do not babysit i don't want to i'm not going to babysit these kids don't be surprised when she doesn't do a good job of babysitting when she's put into a situation like this the the kids are fine nothing happened to them and at the end of the day that's the best thing you can ask of this situation opie not the a-hole they agreed to your terms of service they should have actually paid attention to your terms before agreeing right i love her daughter-in-law coming from a place of no bargaining power has the audacity to be upset things didn't go according to her rules daughter-in-law is wrong to be upset with op because opie never agreed to babysit though i wonder if the situation was made clear to daughter-in-law but she's not wrong to be upset at all irpi's husband completely dropped the ball if he was unable or unwilling to uphold daughter-in-law's rules he should have said sir up front and declines to babysit if necessary is it possible he genuinely or naively believed he could pull it off alone it's one thing to find himself overwhelmed with the job he thought he could handle on his own and quite another to straight up rage quit and basically remove himself from the situation he committed to completely especially when that commitment is keeping three many humans who can't actually take care of themselves alive what would he have done if opi hadn't been around his little tantrum was specifically for her benefits in order to force her to do what he didn't want to do if she'd been elsewhere for the evening he would have had to figure out how to make do all on his own kids can be exhausting and tough to wrangle but when they're under your care you figure out how to get them through to see tomorrow no matter how hard it is i was thinking the same thing what would husband have done if op wasn't even there he would have had to figure it out period posted by user deleted titled am i the a-hole for calling the police when my stepson came over with his baby my wife has a 24 year old son from a previous relationship and i'm so glad he was 18 when i met her because i really don't think i would have been able to marry her i can't stand him he is engaged to a woman who has a volatile temper and picks fights over everything she does not like my wife and he is too much of a coward to stand up for his mother my wife had a very traumatic childhood i mean i can't even put into words how screwed up it was and she has a half-sister who was in and out of her life she loved her sister and every time her dad and stepmom broke up again she lost her sister sometimes for years at a time as a result she has issues about allowing herself to love someone who could be taken away i don't mean like a man who could leave her but she's unwilling to date someone with minor children in case she got attached her son's fiance has lots of restrictions about the baby and before he was born she constantly threatened to go no contact whenever she fought with my wife my wife decided that she does not want a relationship with her grandchild at first i thought she was being dramatic but she explained how she always used to lay awake at night and feel physically sick wondering when her sister was going to be taken again and that she is not signing up for 18 years of pain my stepson came very today with the baby and banged on the door and demanded that she come out and meet the baby my wife went upstairs and had tried to calmly tell him why she won't meet the baby then i called him a softy forever letting this happen at that point emotions were high and he was determined that he was going to get in the house i warned him that i was going to call the police and when he didn't leave i called he didn't get arrested or anything but he was in tears by the times the cops got him to leave this is a hard one i don't know i feel like everyone kind of sucks in this situation uh i don't know why he's so adamant on getting them to meet the baby can't you just leave this mentally ill woman alone she's made it clear she doesn't want to right now give her time to do it what's your problem not the a-hole your wife made a very tough choice for her info what kind of restrictions the rules themselves aren't that abnormal but she is saying if you feed the kids something i told you not to you'll never see them again before the child is ever born i mean i'd divorce my wife if she cheated on me but i don't harass her about her hypothetical cheating all the time if they want her to babysit she has to do it in their apartment because they don't want the baby near me no real reason and if we have family parties she can't invite her sister because her son hates her sister but if she chooses to invite her sister again then she will be on time out regarding the child she said if my wife disrespects her she can't see the child but they get into vicious fights and i'd say at least 70 of the time she provokes them i don't know it seems like there is a lot more to this story and it seems quite complicated like why do you hate the sun why does the daughter-in-law hate you and her sister seems like this is a bunch of family drama though if your wife doesn't want a relationship with the baby then that's her decision i don't like her son because he is so spoiled and entitled i know that is partially her fault but i also had a single mom who babied me and i would never treat my mum like this she paid for his college and gave him an allowance and he was always begging her for more money he can't deal with her being in a relationship i can kind of understand because i was 17 when my mum started dating my step-dad and it was weird seeing her with a man but i would never try to ruin the rest of her life just because i had some unpleasant feelings neither of them like the sister because she is very very child free and resents that her sister had a child she just fundamentally could not understand that my wife actually had to take care of her son and couldn't be at her back and coal she also makes fun of him for mooching off his mother and talks about how she would never be with a man who has to run to mummy all the time but honestly she isn't wrong the fiance doesn't like me because my wife has a much higher tolerance for dysfunction than i do and lets them get away with more but i will throw them both out of the house every time she calls my wife a [ __ ] or a [ __ ] it's two different words there sorry and i'm the only one who can talk sense into my wife about not rewarding them with money so basically your wife is also responsible for the dysfunction she tried to buy her son's love to some extent no one should be shocked that he wants to keep getting money you weren't there when he was growing up for all you know she was kind of a crap mum and money was the only way she showed love or support she kept bringing her sister around her child despite said sister being a complete ass to her child that's not okay and contributes to the evidence for maybe she wasn't a great mum the daughter-in-law sounds pretty bad but at this point this son doesn't know what a functional relationship or family looks like to him this drama is normal probably to the daughter-in-law too also i'd be interested in their side of it does your wife make a habit of ignoring their boundaries because that would explain why they felt the need to get out in front of things early your wife needed therapy a long time ago info what kinds of things does she and your wife fight about literally everything she will sit there and touch my wife's hair and my wife does freak out if she's touched and cholera's stupid [ __ ] and then they will scream at each other over who started it she asks what things cost and complains that my wife spends too much money on clothes or vacations instead of giving it to them she says i must be cheating because i look like a cheetah she licked my wife's straw once so my wife poured the drink on her head she fights with my stepson and then accuses my wife of getting involved when really she is telling her to take their trashy relationship somewhere else and not fight in our house truly they will fight over anything i watched them fight over a hair elastic once and it ended in her running out of the house crying oh my god this is so dysfunctional i have to ask is there any drug use going on because none of this is normal behavior i would expect from healthy adults not that i know of no one in the family is even a big drinker and awkward cherry says not the a-hole your wife made a very tough choice for her prolonged emotional health and if he wouldn't leave you wouldn't want to get violent with a baby nearby edits red op replies jesus everyone sucks hero p and someone says to the not the a-hole judgment i don't think this is a fair judgment it's like saying all the times op's wife's parents were in and out of her life was fine because it was for her emotional health it's really clear from opie's comments that not only did opie's wife have a dysfunctional relationship with her family but she also perpetuated a cycle of tumultuous relationships with her son she continued to bring her sister around her son even though her sister openly resents her son's existence she married a man with a lot of disdain for her child it's sad but not surprising that her son has gone on to start another cycle of toxic relationships with a woman who is an equal participant in these fights with his mother not the worst person or consistently instigator and it is unbearably sad to realize that this newborn's life is starting with all this baggage and a grandmother who refuses to see him now but might eventually decide to see them but then might need to leave again for her mental health but then might come back but then might leave i don't know if the judgment should be everyone sexier or no a-holes here but i'm definitely not picking one to two people out of this pile of people who were trapped in a cycle of hurting each other and holding them up as the a-holes posted by user illegal beagle ccfgh titled am i the a-hole for telling my niece she was a product of infidelity my niece is 17 and she's kind of a [ __ ] to her parents especially her mum my sister-in-law about 17 years ago my man [ __ ] of a baby brother had an affair with some random woman that he worked with his wife of five years forgave him even after finding out that the woman he was with was pregnant with my brother's baby nine months later out pops my niece unfortunately my niece's mother passed away very soon after she was born so my brother had full custody of her unbeknownst to me they have been telling my niece that she is the biological daughter of my sister-in-law a few weeks ago i had a baby boy of my own and have been facetiming my brother and sister-in-law regularly to show him off this is when i facetimed my sister-in-law and about 10 minutes in i heard the voice of my niece she was yelling about some teenage nonsense at an incredible volume my sister-in-law called her down and asked her to quiet down my niece came down and started screaming expletives in my sister-in-law's face my sister-in-law not wanting me to see this told me that she would call me back after she finished dealing with her daughter and hung up about half an hour later she called me back in tears and confessed to me she didn't know how to handle her daughter anymore i consult her until the end of the facetime and immediately was furious with my niece i messaged her over facebook and told her off one of my messages was you don't understand how blessed you are to have your mom she doesn't have to be there for you she could have left your dad when she found out about you i didn't receive a message back that night i get a call from my brother asking what i told his child i told him exactly what i said and i really don't regret it long story short her parents ended up needing to tell her that she was the product of her father's affair and was not related to her mother for this my brother called me a massive expletive and said that i fractured his family i argued back saying i realized she didn't know her mum wasn't her biological mother for a little before he hung up on me am i the a-hole look i phrased this incorrectly when he asked i told him i don't regret what i told her then he told me that they had to explain that their daughter was a product of infidelity i do very much regret being the first person to tell the niece the circumstances of her birth yes op it is not your place to be telling the niece that that's on the parents when they're ready and you said it in the middle of an argument where the mom clearly can't handle the teen you honestly chose a star-aligning moment to destroy these people's lives i can't imagine how that daughter is feeling now and it's all because of you she didn't have to find out in this way she could have found out later in life when she could have been more accepting of it who knows either way it's not your place to tell them and the way you did it was the biggest dick way that i can even think of not big dick in a good context this this is small dick energy big small dick energy op stop it you're the a-hole she is only the product of her father's infidelity not the cause of it how dare you make it seem like she is the problem in all of this she's only a teenager and not even yours you're the a-hole i was actually so torn about this because from an outsider's point of view what opie said is technically correct and if i were the niece i would definitely feel a lot more grateful towards my mum if someone said it to me but and not even yours gave me some clarity because it really isn't opi's place to talk to a niece teenager no less about her dad's infidelity and she's kind of a [ __ ] to her parents man [ __ ] of the baby brother makes it sound like opie just loves judging people and sticking her nose in other people's business you're the a-hole edits a lot of replies have raised good points about the niece's aholish behavior towards her mom and i was almost convinced to change my judgment to everyone sexier but then i remembered that most happy well-raised 17 year olds don't exhibit that kind of behavior i understand that there are genuinely mean 17 year olds but in this case i don't feel like there is enough information about the niece to call her an a-hole as well at its edits a lot more replies have raised individual anecdotes objecting to my edits i'm not saying all happy teenagers don't blow up or that all unhappy teenagers do i'm just trying to say there can be other reasons for her behavior other than being an a-hole including mental health as other people have raised we don't know enough about her to say we don't even know what teenage nonsense she was yelling sounds like opie could learn a thing or two about forgiveness from her sister-in-law cheating is a deal-breaker for a lot of people but not for everyone some people are understanding or just accepting of flaws and are able to find forgiveness in their hearts if sifsa in law forgave opie's brother then it might just be because she truly loves him and would rather forgive him than living bitterly without him and that's their fudging business if op wants to be bitter about her brother's infidelity that's her problem she needs to get off her high horse and stay out of her brother's business well not only that she needs to leave the parenting of their child to them i cannot even fathom why she thought it was appropriate to send any facebook message in the first place regardless of if she mentioned the sister-in-law not being the bio-mum or not you're the a-hole even if your niece had known she was adopted your message was unreasonable inappropriate and downright cruel the fact that you revealed the secret was icing on the cake i cannot imagine how you as a parent can possibly think it would be appropriate to mind an adopted child that they are lucky their adoptive mother didn't leave it is totally normal for 17 year olds to argue with their parents it is not normal for adults in their life to weaponize the fact that they are adopted as a behavior management tool i cannot possibly overstate how much you overstepped here edited to add also yeah the niece sucks for cursing at her mom or whatever but opie's reaction was just so wildly inappropriate and over the top and emotionally abusive that i'm going with the full you're the a-hole over everyone sucks here posted by user mechanical pencil southern titled am i the a-hole for telling my mother that it's her own fault she'll never get biological children edits just noticed the error in the title meant grandchildren i'm in my early thirties and i got my first period when i was nine years old and they've always been gruesome more blood than anyone could ever imagine cramping so bad that i had to miss school and couldn't eat or drink or do anything because the pain was so bad in my mother's eyes i was a faker making things up for attention to get out of tests she refused to take me to the doctors or anything and i wasn't even allowed pain meds well when i moved in with my then boyfriend at 27 he convinced me to go see a doctor because that wasn't healthy and i did i later got diagnosed with a rare reproductive issue vague for privacy that essentially could have been fixed if caught earlier but it wasn't the issue had gone on for long enough that the damage was pretty much irreparable in the end i was basically given the choice of surgery a which would leave me infertile with less complications and a lower fatality rate or surgery b which would leave me fertile but with a higher risk of complications and death due to the severity of my issue i chose surgery a i can no longer have biological children my then boyfriend and i are now married and we're looking into other options to have a child we are heavily leaning towards adoption and i confided in my mother about this big mistake she started scolding me and basically told me that i had to have biological children she told me if i didn't have bio kids then i was a failure of a woman and how dare you let the bloodline die or something like that she told me that if we adopted then she would do everything in her power to make me and my husband look like terrible people so that it fails and the icing on the cake she told me that i should just reverse the surgery i can't do that it's physically impossible it's not like getting my tubes tied i literally no longer have a uterus or ovaries or any of it there is no way to reverse this surgery i went off on her i explained that and i explained that if she were a competent parent who actually did her job then i wouldn't be infertile i explained to her that if she had taken me to see doctors sooner i wouldn't have to consider adoption i called her a terrible mom and a terrible person and i told her that if i ever do adopt a child she would never get to meet them she went silent and then hung up hasn't said a word to me since but now every woman in the family is calling me a useless [ __ ] and a horrible daughter even family i haven't seen since i was a baby now i'm wondering if i went too far or something reddits am i the a-hole edits something several people have brought up now is how come i didn't go to the doctor before i was 27 for nine years my mum told me that i was overreacting and that i was a faker and that what i was going through was normal i was just overreacting that kind of conditioning is really hard to get over and for a long long time my mum was the only woman in my life who was actually aware of periods and things sure if i'd gone earlier my condition likely wouldn't have been as bad but i still would have suffered honest to god i had no one in my life to tell me that my symptoms were absolutely not normal until i moved in with my husband he witnessed first hand what one of my periods looked like and told me that if i didn't go see a doctor he would drag me to one by one of my belt loops my point is i never went to see a doctor before i was 27 because i was brainwashed into thinking i was over dramatic no and i'm really sorry to hear about your troubled past op your mum sounds like a piece of work and you did not deserve to go through any of that that's disgusting i think we can all agree here that your mom is the a-hole in this situation she's not accepting any blame in this and conditioning you to accept the tragic circumstances she put you in and now she goes and bad mouths you to the rest of your family even people you've never met for something she caused i'm sure that'll go down well when you tell them what really happened here if you ever do my point being opie you are not the a-hole nathalia says woman with a similar condition here not the a-hole at all cannot even imagine how traumatic your childhood and early adult life must have been for you i hope you're doing a little bit better now you feel so helpless when you don't even have access to basic needs like healthcare i wasn't able to get my vaccinations in birth control until i was an adult so sorry this happened to both of you true i was also thinking about how diseases like this take on average 8 to 12 years to be diagnosed and women's pain is ignored by medical professionals for way longer than men's pain that's not even taking into account a gaslighting parent who denies you pain meds are you thinking of endometriosis the 8 to 12 year statistic is specific to endo yep the studies on how doctors treat women's pain and not specific to endo it took me a good four years to get diagnosed with fibroids because every doctor i saw tried to diagnose me with anxiety and i had to start over again with a new doctor finally finally i went to see a new doctor and just said you will do these tests on me and they tried to argue that i needed a referral to a psych and i said i'd do that if they did my tests first they found the fibroids but by that point they were so large i had to have a hysterectomy that doctor at least apologized to me for not listening when i came in but yeah doctors are terrible with women's pain posted by user gin fort titled am i the a-hole for telling off my daughter for a horrible comment towards her sister even though she feels like she's correct and justified my older daughter is now 31 and my younger daughter is 27. four years ago my oldest daughter's fiancee left her for my younger daughter a month before their wedding yes it is as terrible as it sounds made even worse by the fact that my younger daughter was two months along in her pregnancy i was extremely disappointed in my younger daughter they both claimed they were in love and are still married till now it literally destroyed our family my older daughter has banned her sister from coming around her which everyone has been accommodating all these years it makes holidays very stressful but it is what it is i've tried my best to have a good relationship with my grandchild while navigating the family issues my older daughter has made very cruel comments about my grandchild which i've ignored that's a mistake on my part for not shutting it down in february my older daughter dropped by our house unexpectedly and encountered my younger daughter son-in-law and grandchild it was very tense and my younger daughter broke down in tears and tried apologizing again and revealed to us that my grandchild was likely on the autism spectrum and my older daughter immediately replied by saying that it's sad that the karma of cheating parents is inflicted on the child and that maybe this will be a lesson for my younger daughter my son-in-law and my oldest daughter got into a huge fight and everyone left in tears i've always been sympathetic to my older daughter and have usually taken her side but i think what she said is extremely out of line and mean i told her what she said was unacceptable and that she needs to apologize or i will not be having her over anymore she then told me that my parenting is atrocious and it's no wonder my younger daughter turned out to be a bad word i've clearly messed up somewhere to have raised two daughters who made such cruel judgments but am i wrong for taking a stand on this issue both my daughters were lovely people with a lot of success but our whole family is so angry and sad now my oldest daughter is the complete opposite of who she used to be but she refuses to go to therapy even when i offer to pay for it and come with her if she wants i'm just heartbroken you're the a-hole i'm giving the older daughter a pass because her comment was justified let's break down exactly why finding out your fiance was cheating a month before the wedding is a huge blow i can't imagine how horrible it would be to find out that it was with your own sister and that she was pregnant that is grounds for permanently removing those two from your life now we have the mother what was her reaction i'm extremely disappointed in sister but she gave us the first grandchild so i'm not gonna rock that boat too hard you make the holidays work so it's obvious she has seen very little to no actual repercussions for what they did now all the daughter simply suggests the sister is getting her comeuppance and that she feels sorry for the child and this is where you make your stand this is the breaking point a step too far jesus opie could you make it any more obvious how much you favor your younger daughter your older daughter is right your parenting is atrocious my oldest daughter is the complete opposite of who she used to be no [ __ ] sherlock her fiance cheated on her with her younger sister and her family decided that was perfectly fine while therapy probably would be helpful for her therapy needs to be with someone you trust why would she want you there you've more than shown her where your loyalties lie editing to add for a lot of comments i never said the oldest daughter's comment wasn't in ahol comments but if you think the actions are justified then you don't give them and everyone sucks here the majority of my original comment addresses the justification but there are other things as well oldest daughter wasn't the first to bring up autism her sister threw it in her face to garner sympathy older daughter isn't blaming any of this on the innocent child and in fact feels sorry that the child might be a vessel for karmic retribution this is putting everything on the parents if she wants to believe autism is a punishment i agree that is an a-hole move but i still feel her comments to her sister was justified and the older sisters view on disabilities does not in any way reflect my own you're the a-hole got to agree with this person you totally made it okay for the younger to cheat and get everything she wants then she tries to get sympathy and manipulate the older with a possible diagnosis that hasn't happened yet what a horrible person you raised personally i would cut off younger for being a trash person who is obviously a narcissistic piece of work not only this but they didn't seem to intervene when the person who's half responsible for all this yelled at their daughter who's really the only wronged party here just doesn't seem like the mother has ever stood up for the older daughter in this whole debacle the son-in-law yelling at the older daughter should have instantly promoted the mother to jump in and defend her decent daughter she has sold her morals for a grandkid meanwhile if the older daughter ever has grandkids don't be surprised if grandma is cut out can you imagine not just the parents but the entire family grandparents aunts uncles cousins etc showing up to this travesty of a wedding and how that would have made the older daughter feel we haven't been given information one way or another where the younger daughter and son-in-law had a big wedding or eloped or whatever but my heart is sinking at the very thought and stress relief comes in and says what is wrong with you how is it acceptable to say that autism is some kind of punishment for the parents transgressions when the autistic child is around innocent children shouldn't be dragged into the middle of this kind of drama autism is not a punishment karmic or otherwise thank you good lord i know reddit treats cheating like a cardinal sin that should be punishable by death but the kid is completely innocent the kid is the one who has autism and saying that his autumn is punishment for cheating is unacceptable and cruel yes the older daughter went through something horrible and incredibly traumatic she is still a 31 year old adult who knows better than to say that a child's autism is punishment for its parents behavior especially in front of the kid everyone sucks here except the grandchild's posted by user vegetable ad 8545 titled would i be the a-hole if i forced my daughter to split her trust fund with her brother my mother died back in march her estate ended up being a little over a million dollars she had the belief that only women should be inheriting as they need and deserve a leg up she grew up in a very misogynistic home that favored sons to an extreme then ended up in an abusive marriage to my much older than her father where she had no agency until he died she had two sons me and my brother there are only three grandchildren my son and daughter two-year-old twins and my brother and his wife's eight-year-old daughter my mother decided to set the inheritance to only go to the two girls who now have 500k each while my son has zero these trust funds are controlled by the respective parents while the most fair situation would be to pull it and split it in three i can't control that but in our household we're in a situation where one of my children is getting half a million and the other is getting absolutely nothing on gender alone this feels horrible as a parent and technically i can stop it i want to forcibly split my daughter's trust in two which would give both a quarter million this would be more fair we have friends and family that are on both sides of the issue and i honestly don't know what to do i know it's considered a cardinal sin here for changing your opinion after the comments i'm just gonna say opie sucks my original uh theory of splitting the money three ways is wrong i'm gonna say either talk to everyone and come to a fair deal or don't touch the money op it's that simple it's unfortunate but it's not your decision to make you're the a-hole it was your mother's money and this is what she wanted to do with it leave it alone your daughter can make your own decisions on what is now her money later in life this is what everyone here would say if it wasn't for gender-related favoring i think everyone should leave their fortunes to whoever they like doesn't really matter if a brother or sister goes without a penny then again i understand opie would be in a pretty hard situation if the money only goes to the girls i would try to talk with the girls and ask them to give their blessing for sharing the money with the brother regardless of gender opie has no right to mess with a child's inheritance it's the principle of a dying or dead woman's wish not being honored that hits hard would you say the same if all the money went to the sun that's grandma's point though until fairly recently the norm was for the entire estate to go to the male heirs even if there were closer and more senior female heirs it sounds like she was old enough to have experienced that injustice herself and it affected her deeply enough to make sure that didn't happen to her granddaughters if you suffered in life and want other people to suffer as you did because you turned out fine you did not in fact turn out fine seriously it blows my mind that so many people in this thread think it was wonderful for granny to leave her grandson out of the will because she was abused by men in her life that poor kid now has to grow up knowing that his family just assumed he's going to become a misogynist and that my dear friends is the sort of thing that could make him turn out to be misogynistic alternatively op might favor him financially or save up for his college but not the daughters because he needs it and she doesn't knowing kids and people that might not stop the daughter from resenting the son i hadn't thought about this but i completely agree the grandma discriminating against him for his gender could make him resent other people like his grandma same way the grandma became discriminatory against men i don't think you could legally do this your daughter could sue you for the money you gave away it's not your money yup i came here to say that you are opening yourself up to liability when your daughter comes of age or if someone else intervenes now in her interest look of course it's not fair but that's the thing about inheritance wills trusts estates legacies etc it has nothing to do with fairness it wouldn't be fair if your daughter inherited nothing because she was a girl or adopted or gay or biracial etc under such circumstances as here your late mother would be the a-hole sorry for your loss i don't mean to make light of her passing but the money would still belong to the sun only and taking half would be stealing however robin hood you may feel it is technically neither of your kids are entitled to inherit from grandma but one has it's called a windfall if you want to be fair to your son start saving for him specifically since you know your daughter has 500k in the bank and be happy you don't have to worry about funding both kids only one posted by user am i the ahole stepson prob titled am i the a-hole for canceling my step-son's birthday because he face-palmed me i married my husband two years ago and my relationship with my stepson 12 has never been well we tried everything but nothing seemed to work his behavior towards me is so terrible he shouts at me swears at me and calls me the worst mother ever his 13th birthday is tomorrow and since my daughter's birthday 7 female is only 10 days apart we usually celebrate them both in the same day and they are fine with it i asked my stepson who he's invited and that's when he face palms like the gesture and tells me that he has already answered this question before in the worst tone ever this is where i lost it and told him that because of his attitude i'm gonna cancel his birthday tomorrow at first he didn't believe me since it's not the first time i intend to punish him without actually doing it in the end but this time i was serious and to prove it to him i called his grandparents and told them his birthday got cancelled he started crying begging me not to cancel but i told him it's too late i got berated by his grandparents because of this and they told me that i don't have the rights to cancel his birthday as his mother i'm pretty sure i can do what i want though but they weren't listening to me they even told me that tomorrow they are coming to his birthday with the gifts even after i told them not to bother because i won't open the door am i the a-hole here yeah you lost it at a 12-year-old doing what 12 year olds do how do you not see that you're the toxic one hero p sure he gave you a bit of attitude but everyone gets attitude when you ask them the same question over and over you can't just cancel his birthday at the drop of a hat because he gave you a little bit of attitude that's disgusting and you're definitely the a-hole in this situation i don't blame his grandparents for coming through anyway they sound better than you i'm being a jerk to a child am i the a-hole yeah you are the a-hole we tried everything all the punishments why doesn't he love and respect me well they actually threatened punishments but didn't actually do it that kind of thing gets real old real fast when you're a kid dealing with a step parent as his mother you're not his mother further this is not a fitting punishment for a soon to be 13 year old's reaction he is becoming a teenager can you put yourself in his shoes instead of over his head consider how it must feel to have to celebrate his 13th birthday a milestone on the same day as his little sister if he indeed had already told you who he invited why doesn't he have a right to be frustrated that you forgot i'm detecting some red flags here to be honest because there are a lot of signs that you're overlooking and invalidating him you owe him an apology big time the mother part is what gets me my stepmom and dad have been married for 20 years she's the best and while she tells people we are her kids she would never refer to herself as our mother it is kind of a weird balance but she does all the mother stuff but doesn't claim the title because my bio mom was super active in our life my stepmom never crossed any boundaries and just treated us like we were her own without forcing us to do anything other than treat her with basic respect you're the a-hole lady what the actual hell birthdays are never something you should cancel unless the kid majorly screwed up it's such a crappy thing to do you only get so many birthdays as kids and those memories and experiences are so so so priceless that the fact that you're punishing him like this for something so damn petty is making me see red i also noticed how you never actually said why your relationship is strained and only talked about how he was rude you're obviously leaving a whole lot of justification on his end out of this you need to pray to god to give you some empathy and some sense and then you need to uncancel his birthday and make it up to him tenfold over a fudging face palm absolutely ridiculous i wish your steps aren't the best posted by user am i the a-hole post throwaway titled am i the a-hole for shouting at my ex in front of my daughters i 37 male have three girls eight ten and twelve their mother walked out on us for another man when our youngest was around four my ex still stays in contact though and pays child support a few weeks ago while doing laundry i saw red spots on my oldest's underwear i asked her if she knew about it and she cried and told me she tried to call her mom but my ex didn't call back she'd been stuffing toilet paper in her underwear i explained to her that periods are nothing to be ashamed of and found some great resources online for us to review together i took her to the store to pick out brands of feminine products that she wanted to use she picked playtex sport because she's a gymnast after we were done i decided i should do the same thing with my other two my 12 year old volunteered to be part of preparing them and we made a whole night of it it was wonderful and i learned a lot i even learned what a menstrual cup is and how they benefit the environments the other day my ex called back i'll usually arrange a video chat and leave the room so they can have some alone time and when they're done chatting i'll come back in to talk boring co-parenting stuff like school bills etc this last time my ex was furious with me for talking about periods with the girls she shouted at me that i was sick and perverted why didn't i call her myself if i knew it was so urgent i could have called one of their grandmas or aunts but my mom has dementia while her mum and sisters call me a loser because i teach kindergarten so i'm not fond of them my ex told me i was being immature and should have just toughed it out for the girls this really ticked me off so i shouted back that maybe if she wasn't such a deadbeat and answered her goddamn phone once in a while she could have handled this i brought up everything she does that hurts them she hasn't been to a single soccer game piano recital or gymnastics meet in two years every other weekend when they come home from her house they go straight to their rooms only to emerge hours later asking me why she loves her new husband more than them and what did they do to make her leave my ex responded by saying i should tell them it's not their fault that i couldn't satisfy her and i screamed [ __ ] you and she just smacked and pointed behind me saying look what you did when i turned around my eight-year-old and ten-year-old were standing in the doorway crying it broke my heart i never shout so i know i scared them my 12 year old stormed in and started screaming at her mom and while i appreciate her sticking up for me this is not a battle i want her fighting my ex hung up before i could fully de-escalate the situation and let's just say the girls have been given free reign of the ice cream and limitless hours of video games because i feel so bad i even watched all of the twilight movies with them so don't say i don't love them but in this instance am i the a-hole for shouting while it's you know not okay to yell in front of your kids like that and drag them into family situations i don't blame you for shouting and i don't think you're an a-hole for shouting at her it doesn't seem like she actually wants to help you or the girls in any way in this situation and she's just finding more excuses to be toxic and nasty to you so really just letting it out and letting your feelings be known doesn't make you an a-hole in this situation i'd say you were justified for yelling although you know it did hurt the girls but it looks like they understand where all of the negativity is coming from and the fact that you're treating them so much better than her not ignoring them and actually being a decent parent makes you the best person in this situation she's disgusting trash and you know i would do my best to limit all custody that she has in this situation for that but that's not always how these things work the only pie maker says not the a-hole have you considered they were crying because of how you were treated rather than the fact that you lost your temper it's easy to assume the worst children are more observant than we give them credit for that your daughter defended you right away pretty much makes it impossible to consider you an a-hole looking at it from a pure logic standpoint isn't it better they learn to not expect anything from their mum early in life certainly you shouldn't have lost your temper in front of your children but no one is perfect especially when someone is calling you perverted for being a great single dad you also had no idea they were there listening so closely honestly you are way too hard on yourself to even think that you needed to post here keep on being a great dad and to answer the question have you considered they were crying because of how you were treated rather than the fact you lost your temper opie replies this has given me a lot to think about and it pretty much sums up what my 12 year old has been saying the younger two just say they wish their mom would come back and we could all be a family again it's killing me here's the thing though you're having to be a super dad because mum left of course they wish things could be normal again i'm sure you wish the same thing an honest conversation might need to happen again to let them voice how they feel together and see that you understand and wish things were different too you're being an awesome parent trying to be there and make sure they feel loved please don't stop being an amazing parent opie was already there being super dead before all of this from what it sounds like i wasn't comfortable talking with my dad or my mum when i got my period the fact that he not only recognized the situation but then went on to comfort and then support her to the best of his capabilities that's what kids like her need nothing is ever perfect and the family dynamic may be disrupted but the kind of support op is delivering deserves so much respect he came through for his kiddo and if his ex wants to be mad about it that's her problem well sounds like he is going above super dad and has become ultra dad also the reason i think she is so upset is because she knows that she dropped the ball and that you did the job she should have been there to do not the a-hole i'm disturbed that your ex-wife thinks it's not your place to talk about menstruation with your own kids so i'm glad you broke that toxic thought process with your own kids good luck your ex-wife sounds like the devil that wanted to push your buttons to let your kids see that you get heated sometimes she's toxic and i'm glad your kids have a chance at life with a good parent the fact that she grinned when the kids were crying and claimed that it was his fault when she chose to walk out and can't even show up to events god that woman is awful and my heart breaks for those kids posted by user departure hall titled am i the a-hole for threatening to financially cut off my son over a baby name i had my son fairly young and i recently had a change of life baby when i was four months pregnant my son who was in college at the time told me that he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant i wasn't very happy but i've been supportive and have given them a lot of financial assistance i had my daughter two months ago and named her clara my son's girlfriend went ballistic she said they were going to name their daughter clara and that i should have consulted with them um i got pregnant first but whatever i told her she needs to grow up and that she doesn't earn the name my son asked me if i would consider changing clara's name i said no and he stormed out of the house well they told me the other day that they're going to name their daughter paxton i guess i made a face and she started yelling at me that it's my fault because i stole the only name that she likes i even asked her if she likes the name paxton and she said she's going to like it when i have to tell my friends that i have a granddaughter named paxton so she pretty much said she hates me more than she loves her daughter my son said i have two months to fix this change clara's name and i told them they're both idiots and i feel bad for their future child i also said that if they named their daughter paxton just to be spiteful i will not give them any further assistance my son called me up and said i was being controlling but when i asked him if he actually liked the name he hung up edits they never mentioned the name clara to me second edits all right i took some of your advice and texted her that i've been thinking about it and i kind of like the name paxton and she wrote back screw you you evil [ __ ] so i think that's the end of their money yeah i don't think you're an a-hole for cutting financial ties with them they're not entitled to that money and they're treating you like dirt over a name that you chose for your own daughter no one lays claims to any names and to bully you and then spite you with their kids name because they hate you more than they love their own kid that's just backwards behavior i have no words for it and you know they can go to hell if they're going to treat their daughter like that that kid's screwed from the get-go and i feel bad for them if i were you i'd do my best to look out for their kid whenever it's in your presence or whenever you look after it if you ever choose to do that but in this situation you know they have to be punished for spiting you so much so you're not the a-hole for cutting them off financially not the a-hole they have no claim to the name you can name your child whatever you choose are they planning on making everyone with that name change it and if they're responsible enough to have a child they should be perfectly capable of supporting themselves without your help financially that was what i was thinking yep it's like they don't make more than one of each t-shirt so if you see someone else wearing it they copied you childish way of thinking and considering they're having a kid while not being financially independent it all makes sense also who the hell tolerates being talked to like that by their kid's partner i'd give clara's middle name as paxton just to piss them off further honestly there are a ton of these same baby name posts and it seems as though while you can't own a baby name intentionally bigfooting someone else's is a big no-no so in general saying you can't own a baby name doesn't fly that's especially true in the case where someone announces the name first or it's the same name as someone who died shortly before or after birth but in this case the girlfriend didn't tell people the name she was using and just assumed everyone else would ask her first which is insanely unreasonable given that op got pregnant first the girlfriend's expectation is contrary to all logic and reasonableness assuming the girlfriend never asked op what the name was to avoid conflict the very thing she expected of op the girlfriend is the one who's controlling and narcissistic a word that gets overused here but this scenario makes it clear that that's what she is she thinks everything should revolve around her eg that other people should defer to her but she shouldn't defer to them similarly it all makes me a bit suspicious about whether she was honest with her son about how she got pregnant in the first place le motte juiced says you shouldn't be financially supporting your son and his family anyway pay for his college sure but this knucklehead knocked up his girlfriend all by himself so let him be a real daddy and not a pretend daddy and take care of his family let him work 20 hours every weekend supporting them while he's in school let him learn how to budget let him learn what it means to be a parent that was your mistake right there blaming a name retroactively is passive aggressive and immature you could say great i'll call her paxy turtles without threatening to withhold money you shouldn't be giving in the first place you are playing their game rather than being a parent you have every right to refuse to assist them but you are taking an adolescent stance as to why better to be clear with them before the baby is born as to why you are cutting off assistance they need to grow up as do you and quit this bullcrap i like this comment a lot remove the talk of finances from the name it just makes the whole thing sound petty and plays into their game just give a general comment on the name like oh so happy to hear you decided on a name i can tell you put a lot of care and thought into it and paxton is lucky to have such loving parents and then have a separate conversation that you see they are adults starting a family and you're going to redirect your finances slash limit funding anything but college and medicine focus on setting up for being a mother there to clara and spoiling paxton as a grandma posted by user fab fagic titled am i the a-hole for climbing in the window of my dad's house he changed the locks to keep my mom divorced out but i was supposed to be at his house for the weekends so my parents are divorced and because of the custody agreements i'm supposed to be at my dad's for every other week my mom dropped me off outside his house and i went to the door and the key didn't work i banged on the door and rang the doorbell and nobody came to the door the house seemed empty my phone had died and my mom had left because she was dropping me off in her rush to work the locks on the doors were new but it was hot as hell out and my dad was supposed to have custody so i thought it would be fine to come in the window like i was supposed to be there i climbed in the bathroom window that he always leaves open i slid the screen up carefully and came in without breaking anything this is my childhood home i've climbed in that window plenty of times hell when i was little and playing outside i'd come through the window as a fun shortcut to use the bathroom i went towards my bedroom and there was some random lady in the hallway who freaked out she was scared by me being there and i was like i live here i'm mitch's daughter who the hell are you and she left the house without saying i went around the house and my dad was not there edit a few people asked why i was so rude to say who the hell are you it's because my dad has remarried he has a wife who was away this month caring for her elderly parents and i come home to see a random lady looking like she'd slept over at the house coming out of my dad's room wearing my dad's pajamas it didn't look good and that's why i was so angrily asking questions so he got home and he was mad at hell for me breaking in and scaring a lady that he was friends with apparently my mum and him had miscommunicated about the drop-off time he was supposed to meet us in the afternoon and give me a copy of the new keys it was supposed to be after his lady friend had left and i was like okay so it was your mistake and my mum's mistake why are you mad at me for coming in rather than sitting out in 95 degree heat for who knows how long and he was just so mad that i acted threatening to his friend that she was scared by me banging on the door and screaming and then suddenly showing up inside the house when she had no idea who i was i said that if he's having ladies over and they're over at a father's house they better damn well expect a kid around it they are pretty dumb so am i the a-hole for climbing in the window of my dad's house i uh i think we got a little bit more going on here than just you climbing in the window chief but i'll keep it at face value no you're not the a-hole for breaking into the house that you were locked out of they are a-holes for ignoring you not communicating with the mother and not apologizing like oh hey it's really hot outside we locked you out there ha ha sorry about that i can understand why you were frustrated and you're like who the hell is this random crazy lady that's not my husband's wife what's she doing in my dad's pajamas they playing musical jenga or something in there i can honestly relate to the guy i missed out of my opportunity to play strip jenga when i was at schoolies um that's a whole situation in and of itself so you know from one man to another sorry op you didn't get included in the game and that for sure doesn't make you an a-hole they suck for not including you not the a-hole like you said what the frick were you supposed to do sit outside for god knows how long she's kind of the a-hole for not answering the door slash investigating but i do understand not her house especially because of the weatherman 95 degrees dad's just mad because he got busted yup his daughter found his girlfriend when he has a wife damn the dad really got busted after he bust one out didn't he rest in peace buddy not the a-hole i wonder if the lady friends knew that you even existed i don't think so she seemed like she didn't believe me at all when i said that i lived there she ran out of the house like she was still convinced i was a robber or something not the a-hole why exactly was she scared of some kid and if she was so scared why didn't she call 9-1-1 me thinks the real reason he's mad isn't because his lady friend was scared to be fair i've heard that i look older than i am i'm five foot nine and athletically built and when i came in i was kind of in a sour mood my dad changed the locks on the house where i live without telling me or giving me a key or even being home when i was getting dropped off so i guessed i must have come across as short-tempered from my body language and the way i spoke plus i was kind of angrily demanding to know who she was and what she was doing in the house endope is 17 years old in this story i've just seen that in the comments they say here a bit more explanation here my dad has remarried and i have a stepmom who lives in the house too but was away this month caring for her elderly parents so to see another lady in the house at 8 00 am in my dad's pj pants looking like she'd slept over it was a who the hell are you moments this is why your dad's ticked you caught him cheating on your stepmom sort of he's directing his anger and guilt over the situation on you tell your mom asap talk to her about whether you two should tell your stepmom posted by user ro affectionate titled am i the a-hole for leaving my one-month-old baby with my husband and not returning for hours i know this sounds bad but hear me out last month on june 22nd my husband's 28 male and i 28 female were blessed with a baby boy it was the happiest day of our lives it looked like the beginning of a fairy tale that day right wrong the baby has been a nightmare ever since we brought him back to our house at first husband and dad were scared we thought we were doing something wrong because the baby wouldn't stop crying even after being fed and taken care of but the doctor said it's normal for some babies this little devil doesn't sleep or even let us sleep he'll wake up at the slightest noise and then it'll take hours to get him back to sleep my husband has been working from home due to covered and i'm on maternity leave we take turns with the baby so that the other can get some rest like husband works from 11am to 7pm so i have the baby and then he has the baby from 7pm onwards we're practically sleep-deprived zombies functioning on caffeine the day before yesterday he took a day off from work because he wanted to sleep the baby was with me and surprisingly he also decided to sleep then i thought it was a great time to go for a small walk because i really really wanted to get out of the house and get some fresh air so i did i went to a small park nearby and sat under a tree to rest after walking for a bit then i fell asleep because i was really exhausted and my brain wasn't functioning properly it looked like a really good idea back there this was around 12 noon i woke up when it was the evening when i came back to our apartment my husband was furious he said that it was really selfish of me to leave him alone with the baby without telling him where i was going and not taking my cell phone with me when i knew that he had taken the day off for sleeping the babies crying woke him up and he couldn't find me the front door was open and he panicked it took him hours to calm down the baby and then calm himself he was about to call the police had i not returned i've tried telling him that i did not plan on falling asleep and that i thought i would be back in minutes i've apologized and promised that it won't happen again he's still upset and isn't talking to me he thinks i intentionally bailed on my turn to take care of the baby am i the a-hole edits i'm not defending myself i agree with people calling me the a-hole because i do feel like crap just want to clarify some things one since some of you have asked i'm in charge of the baby when my husband is working from 11 in the morning till 7 evening from 7 my husband has the baby till 12 after 12 we take turns of one or two hours with the baby depending on how the other person is feeling 2. i use my off time for resting or use social media slash listen to music etc we do have my milk stored for use for times when i'm not available or sleeping but baby hasn't taken well to bottle feeding husband tries to bottle feed him but he'll get fussy and i usually have to feed him even in my off hours 3. i did not intentionally leave the phone at home it didn't cross my mind to take things like phone or my wallets i know i was being stupid but my brain thought it was a genius idea to go for a walk and be back in 15 minutes the only thing i took with me was a mask 4. some of y'all mentioned that i hate and resent my baby because i keep calling him the baby instead of my baby or that i called him a little devil i'm used to calling him by his name referring to him as baby is new to me as for the little devil thing my husband called him that during my pregnancy when the baby kicked me so hard i was sure that i broke a rib it has no malicious intent i don't hate or resent my baby he's the love of my life and i know this is all gonna be worth it and five we're definitely going to get our son checked for allergies and other possible stuff when our pediatrician said that it's normal for babies to cry this much we took his word for it because well he's a doctor i asked my husband if we could get a second opinion on this and he agreed still won't talk to me for non-baby related stuff though you're the a-hole doing it accidentally i get it but he's right you should have taken your phone should have taken it of course but they're so sleep-deprived at this point i'm even willing to give her a pass on that i am horrified at the not the a-hole and no a-holes hear comments how on earth people can excuse op for this is beyond me leaving is bad enough in the first place her husband is literally getting zero downtime working 13 hours straight every day between his job and child care and expected to do this on 4 hours of sleep at night rop gets 5 hours down time every evening i'm not surprised he needed a day off to sleep it was her turn with the baby and just to leave him without asking the husband is awful enough to leave the door open is beyond me literally putting her newborn in danger being uncontactable and awol for hours is just the nail in the coffin opie has to breastfeed the baby during those five hours furthermore you're not accounting for the 11 hours from midnight to 11am where she is the baby's only source of food as well she's had the least amount of sleep out of the two of them and she's still bleeding from birth yes it sucks for both of them but acting like her husband is a victim for having to do 13 hour days is ridiculous he's a dad parents work more than eight hour days unless they get nannies that's life you're the a-hole what the hell were you even thinking just walking out the door while your husband and infant were asleep with no notes no explanation and no way to contact you even if you were only planning to be gone five minutes that would still be unacceptable imagine if your husband was watching the baby while you napped and you woke up to a crying baby the door wide open and your husband nowhere to be found and when you try to call him the phone sitting on the coffee table rings he's vanished and you don't know why and you can't contact him and the baby's crying and it's been an hour now and he's still not back and oh my god what's going on is he alright was he kidnapped is he dead did he crack under the pressure and just walk out on us please be all right don't leave me all by myself what you did was thoughtless and irresponsible and your husband is right to be ticked off at you i would be saying this too if i hadn't experienced what opie is talking about have you ever been around a baby that almost never stops crying now add extreme sleep deprivation and the mental distress of baby crying all the time what you did was thoughtless and irresponsible yeah the extremely sleep deprived tend to function worse than drunk people husband has every right to be frustrated and mad doesn't make this an intentional decision this isn't everyone's sexier or no a-holes here situation these parents have zero help their pediatrician is crap they are both being literally tortured by sleep deprivation and constant screaming this should be their wake-up call it's so much better for this to happen instead of something worse like one of them falling asleep while baby isn't in a crib they need to fly in a family helper or pay a babysitter the person who really sucks is their doctor this sounds like more has opie explored allergies reflux can they soundproof the nursery more and use a different swaddle furthermore the husband is an a-hole for taking a day off just for him to sleep if he didn't plan to also help facilitate an eight-hour stretch for his wife as well i agree with this 100 i dealt with the same thing and it was reflux the daughter prescribed medication and we got to sleep being sleep deprived is awful and i really don't think opie is thinking clearly no a-holes here in this situation but please get a second opinion or someone to come help you would be the a-hole if you don't and something really bad happens to your baby posted by user undo titled am i the a-hole for not giving my cat for adoption because my girlfriend has a phobia my girlfriend of two years is scared of cats and i mean really scared of cats i have had this cat for seven years at first when she came to my place i had to take the cat outside close all windows or doors and make sure that my cat didn't sneak up to play with me or something like that long story short she couldn't take it anymore and told me that she feels really uncomfortable knowing that there is a cat lurking around and that she wouldn't come to my place again if i didn't get rid of my cats we tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pets i don't want to give my cat away so last saturday we talked about this and broke up now i feel like crap for ruining my relationship am i the a-hole kitty not knowing what is going on edit one holy crap i didn't expect this amount of response thank you everyone for taking the time and leaving your comments it is hard to understand that things and plans sometimes doesn't work or go the way we want and that is fine that is life it is harder when feelings are involved i don't think you're an a-hole for not abandoning your cat i think that's the right thing to do the cat is a part of your life and the cat is family if she can't compromise with you on some level and the phobia isn't manageable i don't think you two are compatible to live with each other or be seeing each other like that but you could always go to her place and she doesn't have to come around yours knowing there's a cat lurking there there are compromises you two could make as a couple if you so want to but i understand if you don't and it makes sense that you did break up not the a-hole but personally if i had to choose between a pet of 7 years or a girl i'm choosing the pet 10 out of 10 times why was the girlfriend an a-hole to me this is clearly a no a whole seer situation two people were just not compatible and it happens because of this part we tried therapy but it looks like the therapy is for me to cope with the loss of my pets she's not the a-hole for being scared of cats or not wanting to be around them but if cats are not something she can handle she shouldn't be dating people with cats and she certainly shouldn't be using therapy to try to force things to go her way if she got into the relationship with a plan to force opie to give up his cat from the beginning then she would be an a-hole but nothing opie said in his post suggests that it sounds like she gave the relationship a shot and ultimately realized it wasn't working for her this way something that happens all the time in relationships the therapy thing might be a different story i think we need more info from op for me to make a judgment on that part she got into a relationship with someone who has a cat and she has a crippling phobia of them why would she ever do that if she has no intention of ousting the cat just read between the lines and to address another one of your comments yes she tried to manipulate him via therapy the therapy was for the loss of a pet not to address the phobia yes i'd never start dating someone who has spiders or snakes as pets i don't date people with young children i have no interest in them and i think it's equally ridiculous to expect someone to give up their children for a relationship as it is to expect someone to give up their pets both are family both are part of the package every single post i read that has anything to do with pets i automatically change seven-year-old cat to seven-year-old daughter son it makes the judgment really easy not the a-hole kitty was there first and girlfriend sounds like she needs therapy if she's going to freak out about being anywhere near a cat your cat is freaking adorable by the way posted by user throwaway 717-3552 titled am i the a-hole for giving money to one daughter and not the other i have three children mary 23 female fiona 19 female and jacob seven male my daughters are from my first marriage jacob is my husband's son mary was always the responsible one she had good grades and was very responsible with money she worked from age 16 onwards every summer and after she graduated she picked up a job that she held throughout university i know for a fact that she saved most of the money using it only for major purposes i was always very proud of her for the fact that she could pay for everything herself and never asking for a single cent fiona on the other hand was never good with money she had several low-paying jobs over the last few summers but spent everything she had on clothes or other accessories she really didn't need when she turned 18 i paid for her driver's license i also gave her an allowance of 20 a week since she got a boyfriend so she could occasionally pay for dates etc fiona moved in with her boyfriend this january after we got into a pretty nasty fight we have since made amends and she receives 300 a month from her father note that i occasionally pay for her expenses for example for gas or for some spare change so she can take her boyfriend out on dates the works also fiona is still in school mary is graduating university with a bachelor's degree she told me that she could no longer work her job because the restrictions don't allow her workplace to employ her anymore she approached me asking if i could help her out with some money to pay for the extra driving lessons she had to take i asked her how many extra lessons she had to pay for and she sheepishly admitted that she had to take six extra lessons i was honestly shocked one lesson costs 50 bucks and now she had to pay 300 plus she doesn't even have a driver's license yet i flat out refused to give her any money towards that because her sister didn't need any extra lessons and drives just fine mary teared up at that point she said that she knew she shouldn't have asked me that i always favored her sister that i never considered giving her some money towards major purchases which made her save up and never buy anything just for fun she also said that she would give me the money back as soon as possible i must admit i laughed at that that made mary mad and she started screaming at me which she never did she further accused me of spending so much money on her sister even though she always blows it on useless stuff i tried explaining to her that most of the money i've given to fiona was so that she could invite her boyfriend on dates so he didn't have to pay for everything and that she didn't have a boyfriend until recently so she didn't need the money mary left crying calling me a nasty a-hole i also talked to my husband about it and now he is mad at me too he told me to think about it and apologize to my daughter but i don't think i should i don't know if i've seen favoritism for one child this strong in a post before how can you type all of this out and not realize that you're doing so much damage to your daughter that's lived frugally because they're scared of asking you for money yet you hand your younger daughter who's terrible with money hundreds of dollars especially after she's moved out while still in school where are your priorities at op what's wrong with you driving lessons are absolutely priceless and i think it's absolutely necessary that mary get them you're an a-hole and i think you need a good reality check you're the a-hole i'm really confused about why you keep giving fiona money when she was never good with money but when the hard-working daughter you're supposedly very proud of lost her job due to the pandemic you were honestly shocked that she asked for what is ultimately a fairly small amount of money for an important purpose it actually does sound like you favor fiona if you're happy to pay for dates for her and her boyfriends but not to help marry when she's experiencing genuine financial difficulty also confused as to why mary asking for help is deserving of opium laughing at her you're the a-hole op you truly are a massive a-hole not even asking for help but promising to pay op back like op knows this girl is very financially responsible so why wouldn't she pay you back i think there's some stuff about the general family dynamic missing here once a favorite always a favorite it always shocks me how some parents favor a child over the other sometimes for no obvious reason and pretend like it's not true and still keep making the mistake of supporting an offspring over another what kind of a heart does a parent carry if they see nothing wrong with that you're the a-hole op you're the a-hole your blatant favoritism will lead to nothing but resentment from your daughter she is angry and rightfully so just because she was independent does not mean that she doesn't need support every once in a while she might cut you off forever for not helping her in need and that would be justified and the fact that you acknowledge this and yet decide not to help her shows how much you favor your other daughter more and the kind of parent you are so yes you are the a-hole i do hope that you mend your relationship before it gets too late you apologizing posted by user whistling coyote titled am i the a-hole for sharing pictures of my bathroom after my new neighbor urinated all over my bathroom my drywall toilet and trash can they say they now don't feel welcome in the neighborhood my wife and i wanted to welcome in our two new neighbors that moved in for privacy we will call them blake and jeff we had an outdoor barbecue and had some drinks things were going well we were all having a good time jeff and i are both into bmws so we had a lot in common blake asks us if he can use the bathroom and i'm like sure he goes comes back everything's normal and then 10 minutes later they say they have to leave i think about an hour later i hear my wife scream i go to check the bathroom and someone urinated everywhere the seat was dirty the drywall was dirty our carpets were wet i get people miss but this was deliberate and there was no attempt at all to clean the mess the only person that went into that bathroom was blake honestly i don't know what happened but the only time i could imagine that would upset them was when my wife said her brother was a cop and that he was scared of doing this job but that's it like our conversation was 100 pc nothing controversial at all my wife talked to sally and told them what happened with our neighbor sally didn't believe it so my wife sent sally the picture and then it got shared by everyone in the neighborhood blake and jeff didn't even deny it jeff messaged me that just because we had a conflict doesn't mean i need to go and tell the entire neighborhood they said that as lgbt they face enough discrimination and now don't feel welcome in this neighborhood because we needed to snitch like what the hell we had no problem with them we wanted them to feel welcome so we invited them over in the first place and then they pee all over our bathroom i don't even get it like why we never even had any beef or problem with them and they do this i am just so confused when we tried to respond to their text it shows never delivered so it looks like they might have blocked us i don't know i don't see myself as an a-hole for sharing this with the neighbors because how in any world is that okay behavior pro tip op it's not what they did is disgusting deliberate and i would drag them through the neighborhood i would absolutely drag their names through the mud oh you think this is snitching let me just message all of your family with pictures of you pissing all over my bathroom we'll see how you feel after that one like who genuinely thinks that's okay behavior and that it's all right to do this you are some messed up simpleton if you think pissing all over a friend's bathroom is cool the man wasn't even drunk didn't give an explanation for why he did it just blocked them that's ridiculous i am so confused and opie is not the a-hole not the a-hole the hell does peeing on your walls have to do with being lgbtq other than the fact that blake can't even pee straight not the a-hole if you pee all over someone's bathroom you reap what you sow it wasn't because they were lgbt plus it was because they were animals who micturated all over the bathroom instead of having a discussion like a normal human being pee on the floor like a dog and people are gonna treat you like one classic play stupid games win stupid prizes if you acquire a reputation as a mad dog you'll be treated as a mad dog taken out back and slaughtered for pig feed thanks ruse bolton very cool what lgbt isn't a free pass on literally peeing on other people's stuff not the a-hole yeah we get a fair number of person x did something astoundingly inappropriate but made me feel bad about pushing back due to their being a member of some discriminated against group am i the a-hole i'm a firm believer in treating people how they deserve based on their actions towards me and those whom i love i do not give a crap what color your skin is or who you screw you be good to me i be good to you and if you were not good to me i will not like you and i promise it is not at all related to anything other than your own crappy personality same i feel that posted by user kakakia titled am i the a-hole for not cutting my business trip short i 43 male get a call yesterday from my wife 44 female that my daughter 14 has been hospitalized for anorexia she fainted while hiking with her boyfriend my wife says that our daughter wanted to talk to me so she hands over the phone to our daughter and we talk for a bit my daughter asks that i come to the hospital but i happened to be on a business trip and was scheduled to be in that city until august the associate 23 female that accompanied me from my office is relatively new to the firm and i feel like i need to be there should questions come up on her end so i tell my daughter that i had work stuff that i couldn't miss and that she needed to focus solely on herself she starts bawling and that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention my wife accuses me of wanting to spend time with the new office hires and for being a part of our daughter's problem yet from where i'm sitting my wife is the one who has been losing significant amounts of weight in the last couple of years to the point that she is pale yet i keep my mouth shut about that while she continues yelling at me i finally have enough and hang up before i say something i'll regret am i the a-hole for not cutting my work trip short i feel like if i did i wouldn't be much help in my daughter's problem and if she's doing this for attention it will only encourage her in the future opie um why are you doing this to your family it sounds like you're the one with the heavy issues here causing a lot of this to impact them i dunno am i reading this right because jesus it sounds just like you're attacking them this entire post it also doesn't sound like you make much time for your family your life is all about work work work and i'm not gonna you know spend a weekend here and there not gonna take a trip off that i can take time off by the sounds of it to spend with your family especially after your daughter has been hospitalized for anorexia and your wife is going down the same road i don't understand why you can't help them and why you're so angry with them i feel like you need help and you are definitely the a-hole in this situation you're the a-hole three thousands your daughter needs you she has a life-threatening illness and do you consider it a ploy to get attention oh my god edits rereading the op this grabbed my attention that sneaking feeling comes up once again that a lot of the destructive things she does is a ploy to get attention i can't help but wonder what other trauma this girl has already survived that was dismissed by dear old dad as a grab for attention and spoiler alert if she ends up in hospital for wanting intention she probably needs attention you think i started cataloging all the bad things in the op and that line might have been the worst by the way most awesome user name ever picnic at the disco lovely you're the a-hole anorexia kills people and your daughter is starving herself your insinuation that you need to deprive your daughter of attention in a critical moment in her life to teach her some sort of lesson is awful and wrong and the idea that some 23 year old associate at your firm needs you more than your 14 year old daughter is horrible your daughter needs serious help by the sounds of it you and your wife do too jeez i feel for you man i hate it when teenagers pull shady tricks like literally starving themselves just to get attention of course you should stay where you are your new work colleague probably hasn't been with the firm long enough to you know call or email you if she has any problems posted by user throwra 128-32237 titled am i the a-hole for changing parking spots because my brother was looking really wrong at a group of girls was i in the wrong doing this i mail 18 was taking my brother mail 16 to target to get some things he needed slash wanted we get into the parking lot and as we are getting in this car comes in next to us and by the time i finish parking a group of five to six girls our age comes out as i was getting ready to get out of the car i look at my brother next to me to tell him to put his mask on and i see he's looking at the girls wide eyed and mouth open i tell him dude what are you doing stop that it's disrespectful he says disrespectful to who i tell him to your girlfriend and to those girls he says no it's not and he continues doing the same thing at this point i turn the car back on and pull back out of the parking spots to go park on the other side of the parking lots as i'm on the way to the other side he says what are you doing i didn't reply and when i parked he says what did you do that for i just tell him i told you what you were doing is disrespectful he said it's none of your business and now we have to walk way more we went into the store and everything was normal until we get back home he told my mum for some reason and she took his side she said a bunch of stuff but in summary it was what your brother is doing is normal if he wants to look at a lot of girls to figure out what he likes and he can if you're gay stop trying to make him gay too and if you're hurt you've never had a girlfriend then get one she then took my phone for three days she just now gave it back to me she took it for so long because i wouldn't admit what i did was wrong i finally admit it just to get it back but i'm still not so sure i am starting to be convinced what i did was wrong but i need more opinions lol i'm convinced your family is insane in the membrane what is what is wrong with them how is there any justification to what they did and saying if you're gay don't try to make others gay jesus christ how rude can you be these comments came out of nowhere and i don't see how she is a woman can be like you know what a creepy 16 year old staring at me with his mouth open in the car is completely socially acceptable behavior and we really need to keep continue doing that in fact we need to promote it we need every parking lot to be filled with people watching me from their car mouth opened 16 years old that doesn't attract to me and i don't see why they did that to you opie you're not the a-hole both your brother and mother sound like pieces of work when i was his age i definitely checked out girls my age but come on staring with his mouth open that's not only disrespectful it's creepy as anything and you should point out what his girlfriend would think if she were there okay thanks yes i did it at that age too and still do but not staring i don't think checking out is wrong but staring is especially because he has a girlfriend he shouldn't even be checking out other girls much less staring that's beyond staring that's leering that's the word they're looking for alright your mother has that dangerous attitude of boys will be boys you are correct having a quick look is no problem everyone does it googling is definitely no no territory and it's worrying that your mother not only condones this behavior but seems to be encouraging it if your brother doesn't learn proper boundaries the first time he starts this crap in a job he will find himself in front of hr with a sexual harassment claim against him and mommy won't be able to make that go away i am so appalled at the comments by opie's mother what in the literal hell even if she thought her younger son was doing nothing wrong it didn't warrant saying those comments as a mother of three boys i could never put down my own child in such a manner i would be proud that he is setting a good example not the a-hole your mother is enabling his behavior that honestly would make me super uncomfortable as a woman if i'm going to target with my friends we're going shopping not to get creeped on honestly i think it was a kind and considerate thing for you to do i hate when i pull up somewhere and have some creep staring at me i think she is enabling ever since we were little she has instilled my brother and died to check out girls and my sister to check out boys i used to be very shy so i never did it and around two or three years ago i realized it wasn't right my brother isn't shy so yeah he started doing it i also find it really weird that my mom took his side because around two months ago some creepy guy in a car was following her so she got on the highway and she ended up having to do the rather dangerous maneuver of exiting the highway from the middle lane without signaling to mislead him and get away from him posted by user got milk titled am i the a-hole for switching to regular milk to prove my lactose intolerant roommate keeps stealing from me me and two other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills the only thing we don't split costs on is groceries everyone's in charge of buying their own food and we don't touch whatever doesn't belong to us in the fridge we put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up the issue has been going on for almost a year and i'm sick of it one of my roommates ah keeps stealing my food i get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing they have my name written on it or my stuff finishes too quick my gallon of milk for example i buy almond milk because i like the taste but it seems to finish after a week even though i've only drank once or twice i confronted roommate about this lots of times and that's caused a lot of arguments he outright denies it and tells me i'm crazy even though it's so obvious my other roommates and i carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so i know it's not him it's always after we get back home and r is already left for work that i notice my food's gone my roommate also had a similar problem but not as often as i do i'm guessing because r doesn't like what he buys the funny thing is r buys a lot from himself and is even more stingy about his food he will literally point out what's his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it last week my milk was nearly empty again and i got fed up i went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk i drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one i bought this was to catch and prove r is the one stealing since he's lactose intolerant the next day saturday we get back from work and ah is ticked he yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 minutes with diarrhea because of my milk he was using it to make a shake i only responded with so then you're the one who's been stealing he freaking exploded yeah he admitted he was sometimes drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that i switched milks than the fact that he was caught i told him i wouldn't have done that if he just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of trying to make it seem like i was making it up my roommate backed me up and thought it was kind of funny that he got payback for stealing from us it's a little tense right now and my roommate told me r is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out little does he know we're both looking to move somewhere else together because we are sick of his crap i told some buddies what happened and if you think i was an a-hole for that i feel like i'm not in the wrong here he was taking my food and not even owning up to it and i wanted to prove it does that make me the a-hole look we all get a little bit of diarrhea sometime or another do we all need to learn our lessons he chose to learn it the hard way and he continued to stonewall you and just deny every time that you asked him about it think he kind of deserved what was coming to him there you did it in a bit of a devilish way but i don't think that you're an a-hole for doing that and you know this is one way to get him to stop stealing so i support you op and i don't think you're the a-hole not the a-hole as you said if r wasn't stealing your food he wouldn't have had a problem also it's not like this is a life-threatening allergy it causes a minor if smelly inconvenience as someone who has lactose intolerance i can agree you may get explosive diarrhea or be really really gassy but it ain't life-threatening it can also become hella painful although still not life-threatening and still well-deserved yup i basically don't trust dairy products i don't purchase myself so it's his own damn fault just like it's my own damn fault when i forget to ask for a substitute and get regular dairy not to mention the two have a vastly different smell to me i always smell the milk to make sure it didn't go bad since the last time i use it how does one drink most of the almond milk and the next day you honestly believe the same carton somehow replenished itself not only is r an a-hole but he's a dumb a-hole he literally only has himself to blame not the a-hole it's your food you could have put your medicine in it or even your pet's medication in it you could have put a laxative in it or even syrup of ipacc which i just learnt is a thing and i would still say not the a-hole when people steal food lie about it and don't replace it they reap what they sow food is expensive especially milk substitutes without replacing the food he was essentially stealing money from your wallet oh yeah it really is i try to buy from grocery stores that sell all organic so it does get pretty expensive not the a-hole you can tell him how you could have done much worse like peeing in the milk or putting vinegar in it instead you went a somewhat mature way by buying a real dairy milk i was gonna drink that milk too so better it wasn't pee or vinegar lol posted by user shut up mate am i the a-hole titled am i the a-hole for telling a guy with autism off because he wouldn't stop talking about something he knows nothing about i 29 female and three years into my phd i have published many papers and have been co-author of even more i've done field studies and teach at a uni basically i know my field i speak a few languages and teach a group of people outside of work we meet up once a week and talk in that language we're all friends and it's very casual last week one person in the group asked if they could bring a mate k from work who's interested in the language too she said that her mate is on the spectrum and that he might not know when to stop talking i said bring him along and we'll see how he fits in the actual lesson went well and i think we were all happy usually some people stick around for a bit and we just have a few drinks this is when it all started as it turns out kaye is interested in my field of study he asked me some questions and i was happy to answer but then it started getting weird he kept arguing with me and correcting me telling me what i apparently misunderstood and so on it was quite awkward and my other friends tried to gently let him know that he was probably out of line he kept asking me about my opinion on studies and papers but in an aggressive almost questioning way the last straw was when he told me that i misinterpreted the findings of a study that i was a co-author of i was sick of it and said listen buddy i know you think that you know everything about this field but if you had actually bothered to read who et al is then you'd know that i wrote this fudging paper so please shut up not my proudest moment i admit but at this point he'd been trying to beat me for over 30 minutes he left after that but later messaged me that he informed my uni of my discriminatory behaviors towards people with autism now i'm wondering if i went too far no he's trying to pull the autism card after arguing with you for 30 minutes is he wanting to be treated equally or be treated differently because of the autism i'm confused here the autism wasn't brought up at all during their conversation it would look like he's just using it as blackmail after the fact and that's not okay no one was arguing about his autism opie wasn't attacking him for his autism that's not an okay thing to report him to the university for that's just stupid opie you're not the a-hole not the a-hole definitely not the a-hole how can he have read the papers and said you misinterpreted the findings when you helped make the conclusions some people need a reality check also out of curiosity what subject was it i'm assuming he meant that opi reached the wrong conclusion about the findings from what op said he meant that opie misunderstood the conclusions from the study it seems like that he thought opie read the paper and didn't understand what it meant at al is writing used in the author section of research done by a lot of people the lead researchers will be listed then it will say et al for brevity if you look up the et al further down it lists everyone involved right she said if you'd actually read the aunt l you would realize that i helped write the paper thus implying that he did not know she wrote it lol not the a-hole he's using autism as a shield against his bad behavior this exactly this the dude's gonna be in for a vile awakening if he doesn't curb his behavior autism ain't an excuse to act like an ass and get away with it so this is something i don't understand but i would like to because i've seen people on the spectrum use it in my life but isn't that kind of complicated social behavior why can't they use their condition as a social weapon but then not read a room and know he was out of line this is actually a fantastic question my guess would be that he's not intentionally using it maybe he's thinking that he was the only one in the room that rp was mean to and he can't see the issue in his behavior so it must be about him being on the spectrum reading and interpreting social cues is more difficult for people with autism emotional regulation is also out of whack not justifying his behavior at all because he's clearly high functioning but his mansplaining combined with irreflective i'm gonna get you in trouble for embarrassing me is almost textbook he's got a long way to go if he's still having social issues like that i almost feel bad for him but this very well could backfire on him and be the reality check that he needs i am definitely interested in an update once k goes to uni higher ups and i'm willing to bet that opie will be reprimanded because k is autistic let's see how this plays out honestly when you get to the phd level of a field the circles tend to be quite a bit smaller if he's interested in actually studying in the field telling on this woman is a great way to not get accepted into a program like this especially if he applies to the same program so in my experience with people with autism it's not necessarily that they intentionally use their autism as a shield it's that when anyone says hey that's rude they say well i'm autistic like it's a free pass like it's a permanent excuse to never try to change their behavior it's seen as a reason or an excuse not a weapon that they're welding sometimes probably often that's because they've always been handled with kid gloves before and truly think it's an excuse sometimes it's because they're an a-hole and think they shouldn't have to try people without autism do this all the time that's just how i am i'm just always honest i hate fake people those are just excuses people use to act like an ass without feeling bad about it obviously people with autism have a harder time reading social cues but non-a-holes with autism take direct communication better than this dude and use it to try to do better in the future telling a non-a-hole with autism that was rude or this specific thing you do makes me uncomfortable can you do this instead does not usually result in a you're discriminating against me because of my autism retorts or even i'm autistic so i don't have to change my behavior someone might reveal their autism in a particular situation as a way to explain that hey i'm not trying to be an ass i didn't pick on your discomfits please in the future be very direct so i know what i'm making uncomfortable or being rude but even if it truly is that this guy has always believed or been told that his autism means anyone pushing back on rude behavior just doesn't understand his condition and therefore is mean or discriminating it doesn't make it true or okay autism being used as an excuse shield pass is when they say well i can't help it i'm autistic after being called out for their behavior this guy threatening to go to her employer to falsely accuse her of discrimination when he has called out for bad behavior that is weaponizing his autism he is literally using it as a weapon to hurt opie's career posted by user nail lucky titled am i the a-hole for buying my son a car but not my daughter so i have two kids a 20 male and an 18 female my son is a football player at a division 1 public school my daughter just graduated she will be going to the same school it is in state i'm pretty well off and could have paid for my son's education but everything is covered from football i give him some extra spending money and i also bought him a brand new car a hyundai and paid to insure it well technically the car is mine because it's easier and cheaper that way but i consider it his my daughter won't be getting financial aid she didn't play sports and for anyone thinking otherwise by law there are as many athletic scholarships for men as women so she had an equal opportunity as him she didn't do well enough in school to get merit-based aid and i make too much for her to get need-based aid so i will be paying for her education i will cover as much as my son's football scholarship does everything education related room and board and a small stipend for personal expenses but i won't give her the extra money nor will i buy her a car my reasoning is because my son worked extremely hard in high school playing football with all the practices lifting weights etc is a lot of work and he worked harder than most of his peers he also got good grades and college football is basically an extremely physically exhausting full-time job maybe more there is barely enough time for actual school but my son still manages to get good grades no way does he have time to get a job and buy himself a car my daughter on the other hand basically just coasted through high school didn't spend much time on extracurriculars she put just enough effort almost none as she is very smart required to automatically get into state public universities so i think that if my daughter wants a car and extra spending money she can get a job she could easily get a part-time job that would cover a car and still have much more free time than my son does if she saves enough for her down payments i would even buy the car on the condition that she pays me for it and the insurance monthly my daughter thinks i'm being incredibly unfair that i favor my son because he's a man and an athlete i think that she's a spoiled brat and it would actually be unfair to my son to buy her a car on top of everything else i'm doing for her eta i've decided to give my daughter an opportunity to earn the car by getting good grades freshman year if she gets a 3.5 i will give her the car of her choice of similar price to her brothers pay to insure it and give her extra spending money eta i've been banned so i can't reply anymore i like that you changed your opportunity after being blasted by reddit for being the a-hole in this one and it's good you know that's a good compromise a 3.5 if she can maintain it at least you're giving her the chance to get something but a lot of people won't view that as being as equal as the sun and i can understand that too i agree with those people but at the end of the day it's your choice as the father all we can do is judge you for your terrible parenting from a distance i do think that regardless of the son's achievements getting into such a good status with the school i think that you're showing blatant favoritism regardless and that it's unacceptable what you're doing so therefore you're the a-hole but it's good that you're making steps to give your daughter the same opportunity you're the a-hole if this was only because she slacked off and didn't try in school that would be one thing but you're the a-hole for expecting your daughter to be the same as your son maybe she isn't into or good at any sports maybe she's just not as scholastically capable most kids don't get picked up on athletic or scholastic grants i don't think you should have to buy either kid a car but your rationale is certainly unfair plus one this the daughter shouldn't be punished for not being as good as the son if the reasoning is solely based on the fact that opie is paying for their daughter's tuition and thus doesn't want to pay for the car that's fine but i feel like opie is doing this because the daughter is underachieving compared to the over-achieving son i don't see how she's being punished the son got a scholarship and school paid for so opie is paying for the car opie is also paying for their daughter's schooling in full plus room and board and even spending money it evens out pretty much if op also bought a car for the daughter they would be favoring the daughter they're just evening the board for both of them financially that's just my opinion though not the a-hole you might be a bit late to the discussion you should read the opie's comments on here he's only paying for the car because this son got a scholarship for football and that's the only thing that matters to him but he's also paying for her schooling it's not like he just said f that pay for yourself like your brother yeah it's kind of a dick move to only care about the football scholarship but he's still being fair and paying ah he's not being fair in the sense that he's holding his daughter to the same standards as his male son who got a scholarship to play football in college the op basically says he's not paying for the car because she's not as accomplished as the sun how he does things is no one's business but his logic of football or bust represents his a-wholeness don't be stupid he's paying for her to go to college she is getting the same amount her brother got she isn't being punished at all if he was punishing her he wouldn't give her anything at all get your head out of your bottoms and read what this guy is saying about his daughter let me put you straight parenting isn't just about paying equal money across your children it usually never works that way unless this guy wants to function as an atm and not a parent i don't get why you think she's getting the same treatment i'm not saying same money i'm saying same treatment i can see why he tries to balance the money-wise situation make it a tad fair for some reason but this post just screams my son is better my daughter will never be good enough my daughter won't be getting financial aid she didn't play sports so what everything is covered from football i give him some extra spending money but won't give her the extra money does he get extra pocket money but she needs to work for it which is mentioned later son doesn't have time for a job daughter needs to work because she might have time huh these things bothered me and just made me feel like he favored the sun just because he did sports based on the tone of his post i have to say you're the a-hole posted by user philosopher great titled am i the a-hole for putting my toddler sister to bed without dinner after she refused to eat so i just turned 16 and i have a two nearly three-year-old sister her dad isn't in our lives anymore and this means that my mom expects me to babysit whenever she has to work which i always do even though i'm also doing online summer school classes yesterday morning at around 11am my mom messaged me and told me that she's going to work a double shift and wouldn't be home until well after midnight i was frustrated because this is happening more and more frequently and i have homework to do but it can't be helped and they understand we need the extra money so i just said okay a couple hours later i saw in my facebook feed that my mom was tagged in a photo by a friend from the night before it was some sort of girl social distance movie night or some crap like that i clicked on it and started going through the photos and saw this wasn't the first time every time she claimed to be working and said that i had to babysit she was getting together at a friend's house knowing full well i needed to focus on homework i was so mad and tried to text my mum but she never responded so last night i made macaroni and cheese for dinner my sister was not having it and kept demanding other things and when i told her no she started screeching and crying and threw her macaroni everywhere i was frustrated and told her she could either eat what i give her or not eat at all she chose not to eat later on when i put her to bed she started asking for pizza i told her she could have some of the leftover mac before bed but that was it she started having a tantrum again and i was just done with it all so i just picked her up and put her in her room and left but then she came right back out demanding food so i put her back in her room this repeated several times until i snapped and just locked the door so she couldn't get out she kept screaming and crying so i put my earphones in to drown her out to focus on my homework well when my mom came home apparently my sister was still throwing a tantrum and my mum barged into my room and ripped my headphones off and started yelling at me about ignoring her i told her that i have my own stuff to do and now that she lied to me i don't really care to help her out so much she called me selfish and stormed out and hasn't talked to me since man reading this actually kind of makes me want to cry a little bit i i don't know that's so much angst and anger all in one post straight up i blame the mum for all of this this is all caused by her it's not to say that opie wasn't neglecting his like sibling for that i cannot absolutely understand op's position they're 16 years old it shouldn't be their place to care for the kid and the mom shouldn't be lying to them like that multiple days a week i think it's absolutely disgusting they didn't feed the kid you need to feed a kid a nearly three-year-old child needs food you don't just not feed it that's disgusting and yes school is important but you know what else is important having a mum who's there looking after the both of you and making sure both of you are fed and looked after and not being lied to i'd say everyone sucks here in this situation and i feel really bad for the younger sister she can't be blamed for her actions she's only two years old she genuinely doesn't know any better and she's being betrayed by the two people that she looks up to and relies on to look after her everyone sucks here firstly this is your mom's responsibility not yours so i have a lot of compassion for you but i think you crossed into the a-hole territory here i snapped and just locked the door so she couldn't get out she kept screaming and crying so i just put my earphones on to drown her out that's not discipline it's really traumatizing don't forget that if it's hard for you to be left at home without your mother it's hard for her too especially when she's little more than a baby and can't understand why her family members have either left her neglected her or locked her up yeah add in the fact that a while later opie wasn't even aware that the sister was still throwing a tantrum when the mum came home opie wasn't just drowning her out but completely unable to hear her after locking her in another room that's too dangerous to say that opie was not an a-hole too the mother is obviously an a-hole wow yeah i'm guessing they put her in there at eight to nine and the mom didn't get home until 12 am that's a very long time for a two-year-old or any child to be trapped having a tantrum if she still wouldn't eat the mac and cheese before bed i would have at least given her some crackers or something nah it's fine if kids are hungry kids will eat crackers would just be rewarding her pickiness but oh god that little kid just needed a bloody hug poor thing yeah putting her to bed without food that's seriously how they learn i've had to do that a few times with my two-year-old son one meal won't make them starve i only do this with food that i know he likes and eats by the way i won't try to make him eat something new or that he doesn't like i will give him an alternative snack before bed then everyone sucks here but i think some grace needs to be given to the op she's a kid herself and toddlers are exhausting locking her in for a long-term tantrum is a major problem a few minutes while you compose yourself are fine but not all night if she's mad at her mom she needs to deal with her mom not take it out on her sister i think as parents we've all put our kids in their rooms for a few minutes to scream the difference is that opia's 16 and stuck babysitting her toddler sister for 18 hours managing an online course load all by herself while their mom is out living their best life i don't think she sucks i think she's a teenager who's overwhelmed with responsibility that she didn't sign up for yes this exactly not to mention that in the moment she was furious about finding out she'd been lied to and taken advantage of without any regard for her needs or the babies i'd be ticked too the headphones was not a safe thing to do but i feel like people should remember that the toddler is not the only child being neglected here and i guess i don't know i feel like opie's going towards not the a-hole you can't really judge a 16-year-old the same way that you judge an adult she didn't sign up to be a parent the mom decided to neglect them both in this situation and knew that the workload was so much for op i feel really bad for the both of the kids now these comments have started to change my mind i won't lie posted by user away following 4993 titled am i the a-hole for not allowing my wife to go no contact with my family over a prank this actual incident happened about a year ago but it is still brought up and my wife and i still disagree my mother's best friend is a socialite like the socialite of where we live she was some crazy heiress and her dad died when she was in college we live in a very vapid circle and she is the it girl we'll call her evie evie and my mom have been best friends for almost 30 years my wife and my mom don't get along too well but it's not major and my wife cannot stand evie my wife's family was sort of on the edge of this social circle and my mother-in-law wanted more than anything to be friends with evie but evie hates social climbers well my wife put a lot of pressure on my mom to get her mom into their circle and my mom resented it i think that is pretty valid my wife convinced my mum to invite her mom to evie's birthday which she was doing at our house my mum and devi told mother-in-law that it was a big cocktail party and going to be very full well it was actually a casual spa thing where everyone was wearing exercise clothes or even pajamas mother-in-law was obviously humiliated because she already had a reputation for being kind of thirsty my wife went nuclear on my mum which i get but she thinks one stupid prank means that my mom should never be alone without children we got into another fight today and i said i'm done discussing it i'm not allowing her to cut my mother out of my life and i know allow is a loaded word but i'm tired of fighting about it edits just to add context my mom grew up poor and used to be a waitress mother-in-law has treated her like crap over this mother-in-law thinks she has some right to be friends with evie because she comes from old money though there isn't much money left she has physically tried to place herself between evie and my mum and made condescending jokes about how my mom can go make them a drink because she used to work at a bar just seems like everyone sucks here in this situation like get a life you're the a-hole your mother and evie humiliated someone your wife loves and you don't seem to care from what you've posted it seems like neither your mom or evie apologized for this and the relationship between your mother and wife was already strained why would your mother do something that she knew was going to hurt someone you supposedly love and ruin that relationship further and how could you support her doing so yes maybe your wife's mother was trying too hard but i can't understand the logic behind purposefully embarrassing someone like that edits can't take away the you're the a-hole and i do believe that rest still stands but updated to everyone sexier after reading some of the comments sounds like there's a lot of resentment and anger everywhere you all need to sit down and have a talk like adults instead of continuing to act like children if not for your own peace of mind then at least for your children it's not a good example to set for them and sounds like a super toxic environment agreed this was not a prank it was blatant disrespect bullying three women in their 50s 60s acting like horrible teenagers yeah everyone sucks here from what your post says your wife isn't asking to go no contact with your mum but rather for the kids to not be left alone with her on the bright side opie you just drew the short straw on babysitting duties because i bet your wife doesn't want to deal with your mum anymore seems to me like the kids aren't the only ones who need parental supervision to be on their best behavior to be fair i would never leave my children alone in the care of someone who would be so deliberately cruel to another person ever she might treat the children with that sort of casual cruelty or she might teach them that it's okay to humiliate a person for the heinous crime of trying to be friends either way big nope from me posted by user sister squabbles titled am i the a-hole for calling out my sister after she shamed me and my proposal online i'm 28 my sister is 26. she got married three years ago and has one kid already i live out of state and she's in our hometown and lives close to our parents last week my sister had a second pregnancy announcement at a birthday dinner for our dad i couldn't attend everyone was of course excited and sent congrats this past friday my long-term boyfriend and i went hiking on our favorite trail and had a picnic we walked back to his car and he asked me to get something from the trunk when i opened it there was a sign that said turn around and pictures of us from when we started dating when i turned around he was kneeling with a ring this proposal is cheesy and romantic and i melted this was also the anniversary of our first date apparently which i didn't even remember i posted pictures of the ring and the proposal story and called my parents and friends the ring was a refurb of his grandmother's ring with the same stones and shape but a more modern design i found out yesterday and by that i mean i was sent screenshots by an old friend in my hometown that my sis has been shaming my proposal and me online she was saying i'd purposefully had my engagement right after her pregnancy announcement and that i was also clearly jealous my little sister had gotten married first she also made fun of my rustic proposal saying money can't buy class my fiance and i both have good jobs so she thinks we're rich snobs and made fun of my gaudy ring i ended up confronting my sister and said she was being petty and i didn't like her mocking me online she got uppity and defensive of course and tried denying it i told her i felt bad for her children since their mother was such an immature bully she's been accusing me of saying she's a bad mom and my mum thinks i shouldn't have stooped to her level am i the a-hole i don't know what your mom's on about you're not stooping to her level by being like why are you talking so much [ __ ] about me online what's your problem you're supposed to be supporting me why are you so jealous of all this i think it's the mom's job to kind of step in here and be the voice of reason and she's failing to be the mediator op is just trying to you know smooth things over and i don't blame her for that i would be very offended if my sibling came and attacked me like that that's not okay opie you did the right thing not the a-hole edits wow this response is overwhelming i appreciate all the well wishes firstly i want to say there's nothing wrong with staying in your hometown or being a wife and mother please don't act like this is some sort of awful fate don't shame her for having children young everyone has different definitions of a happy life secondly i appreciate the interest in my proposal and ring photos but i made a new account to stay anonymous and i'm generally a private person it would be very hypocritical of me to have identifying info in a post ranting about my family drama too third yes my boyfriend fiance is wonderful we've been together seven years now and he never ceases to impress me not the a-hole stooping to her level would be talking crap about her behind her back you confronted her like a grown adult hell yeah she said that crap to her face like an adult should you didn't stoop to her level you were above her way above her you handled it really well not the a-hole also if the mum has nothing to say about her younger daughter's level she doesn't get to say anything about the older ones stooping down either honestly why doesn't the mum have opi's back she clearly feels opie was justified she should be calling up her other daughter to tell her not to be so rude to her sister and to knock off the attitude be part of the solution mum it's easier to tisk someone for rocking the boat than to stop the idiot currently engaged in sawing a hole in said boats all right i think that's where we're going to leave today's episode guys i really do hope you enjoyed the content today if you guys loved watching it as much as i loved making it i would love for you to subscribe to the channel already if you haven't tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below maybe like the video who knows i'd also like to take this time to thank my awesome patreon and channel members without you guys you know i don't know what i'd do i'd probably be homeless on the streets of ireland irish dancing all over town it would just be a mess but no for real you guys are up on the screen now thank each and every one of you guys and if you personally want to join the club yourself there are links down in the description below there's also the join button next to the subscribe button small monthly fee but hey it goes a long way to help me create more awesome content but with that said guys i hope you do have a lovely day night sleep evening day at work day at school whatever you're up to i hope you keep awesome today you're looking amazing and i will see you in the next video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 30,185

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: ErEC4dPCzyc

Length: 194min 17sec (11657 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 23 2020