r/AmITheA**hole For Not Telling My Boyfriend I'm a Prostitute?

welcome to our /m hi the butthole where Opie has a secret life as a prostitute am I the butthole for not inviting the neighborhood snitch or the HOA board to our neighborhood barbecue there's around ten houses in my neighborhood of 120 that aren't in the HOA mine included we are the previous owners we're smart enough to not join the HOA as a result I'm able to make extensions and I have a pool so I host neighborhood parties occasionally my HOA is one of the worst HOAs constantly finding people hundreds of dollars for parking violations painting their fences the wrong shades of brown wrong color curtains having two flags etc they're not the worst HOA but they're bad we've also got a sucky neighbor Jessica who likes to go around and snap photos of people's violations and then post it on the next door app to shame them she prides herself in this thinking it makes the neighborhood better when she shames us miss for having a fence that's two inches too high or the johnstons for having a light brown door instead of a dark brown door jessica is an effing grunt she's probably cost neighbors thousands of dollars in fees or forcing them to renovate I absolutely lost my cool when Jessica posted in the next door app about how mrs. Jensen an 85 year old woman currently having serious medical issues has a long that's a couple of inches too high she obviously can't mow the lawn and was too busy to notice the HOA then find her $500 I made a post in the next door app saying that the suburban fascists on the HOA Noire Jessica were invited to my barbecue at my house Jessica went on a rant saying how much of an angel she is and how she protects the neighborhood doing her duty and I told her she's a low-life scumbag busybody and as a pathetic loser with nothing better to do a couple people said I was bullying and excluding her and like four of her friends are boycotting my party and hosting their own party the party happened and nobody else showed up to theirs and ours was a blast she apparently cried over it now Opie I'm gonna give you zero out of five buttholes you can't just stand behind the I was just doing when I was supposed do defense because if what you're supposed to do is be a butthole then it's not much of a defense and down in the comments a bunch of people are criticizing Opie for calling her out publicly and sort of singling her out by not inviting her to the party but you guys I thoroughly disagree with that Jessica's the one who set the precedent she's the one who thinks it's okay to publicly shame other people and stick her nose in other people's business so oh he's just giving her a dose of her own medicine though some people are questioning the timing of this if Opie is hosting a barbecue party during the corona virus outbreak then yeah Opie you definitely get some butthole points for that one am i the butthole for keeping an emergency family iphone secretly hidden in the car of my daughter drive so I can always track the location of the car well the cats out of the bag on this one but it doesn't matter because now I have justification to reinstate previous more stringent cellphone rules my daughter is 16 and as most 16 year old she has her own phone with less parental control but I still have sensible rules like no turning off iphone tracking always answer my texts or calls immediately or within a reasonable timeframe when not in school or practice no dead battery excuses but I know teenagers can be sneaky so I have a backup tracking plan that I keep secret from her I have an extra older version iPhone on my family plan that I use as an emergency phone I hid this phone somewhere in the car that I let my daughter Drive kept on silent it's always charged so I can track it when my daughter is out this past weekend my daughter told me she was going to her friend Brett's house to prepare for an academic competition and an oratory event when I checked on our iPhone in the secret iPhone the locations matched up she was at her friend's house after dinner I checked again curiously her iPhones location was at her friend's house but my secret iPhone was clearly in downtown near all the bars and nightlife I called my daughter and she told me everything was fine including the car I drove to my car's find iPhone location to see if maybe I was wrong and eventually found my car parked along the street near the lgbtq nightlife area I called Brett's father Brett's parents are divorced and the dad does not live with and Brett's mom had the night shift so I called the dad before Brett's dad got there I walked around asking the bouncers at the bar if they'd seen my daughter or a friend I showed them photos I finally talked to one who remembered turning away my daughter and Brett earlier in the night for trying to use fake IDs I was livid I wandered the area and eventually found my daughter and Brett hanging out at a coffeehouse I waited for Brett's dad to park before going in I asked him what his understanding of the situation was and he told me as far as his ex told him the kids were supposed to be at home doing prep work for an oratory competition I told Brett's dad where I was and he and I walked into the cafe together to retrieve our kids after we returned home my daughter confessed to trying to sneak into a gay club with Brett who apparently is closeted to his parents and school she was most upset that I outed Brett to his parents this way but she's not giving me any reason to trust her or her friend bread given their behavior this weekend stricter rules are on the way she continues to think I'm the biggest villain in her entire world but really if I hadn't installed an emergency phone in the car I wouldn't have known the shenanigans these two were up to under the guise of studying sure I violated her in Brett's privacy but I feel it's justified oh man okay so here's the big red flag about your post you said in the title that you have an emergency iPhone that you only use for emergencies but clearly you don't use it for that purpose you use the phone to spy on your daughter regularly which is not an emergency at all so that alone makes me think that this post is probably skewed pretty heavily in your favor making you seem better and making your daughter seem worse so I'm gonna give you one out of five buttholes for controlling your daughter another butthole for lying to your daughter and two buttholes for outing her friend to her dad that brings us to four out of five buttholes but I have a sneaking suspicion that it might actually be higher than that because your post is super misleading to be honest I can't blame your daughter for acting out if this post is an indication of what you're normally like then if I were 16 and your kid then I'd want to act out too am i the butthole for putting bacon on my lunch to keep my Muslim friend from stealing it I'm not a super healthy person at school for lunch I usually get cheese fries I know very unhealthy but one of my friends sure likes to steal my fries as well as food from our other friends at the table he'll grab a bit from our trays and eat it when we're not looking sometimes it's not usually a lot it's more so just a nuisance so I had an idea my friend who likes to snatch our food sometimes is Muslim and he keeps all all our school cafeteria gives us the option to get bacon on our fries too I love America I wouldn't get bacon on my fries otherwise but I would rather do that than set a precedent of my friends stealing my food when I first sat down at a table he said what the f man why'd you do that my friend sided with him they said I went too far by not respecting his dietary restrictions to which I replied his dietary restriction shouldn't matter if he doesn't eat my food I think I was totally in the right to do that but my friends just thought it was petty because I didn't get bacon before and I only started getting it to give him the finger thoughts op0 out of five buttholes this is like someone knocking on your front door and being like hey I was gonna rob your house but you started locking your door what the hell man rude am I the butthole for proving to my roommate that her boyfriend keeps hitting on me I'm Sam my roommates name is Lauren and her boyfriend's name is Mark Lauren and Mark have been dating for maybe four months mark always hits on me like always as soon as Lauren walks away mark is laying it on thick with compliments and asking when our lease is up I wear a lot of body con and sometimes low-cut clothing so I expect to get glances may be mild staring but this guy is very obviously hitting on me and oftentimes in ways that makes me uncomfortable especially since he's always at our apartment I've told Lauren several times that Mark hits on me and she just rolls her eyes she doesn't believe me which is confusing to me Lauren and I have been roommates for five years in that time she's dated three other guys and I've never complained about this before so yesterday she tells me that Marcus coming over I was like great I told her if she would just walk upstairs in our apartment building and tell mark that she was going around the block she would actually walk in and see him hitting on me she actually agreed to do it to humor me mark gets to the apartment and I'm just doing the dishes I tell him that Lauren went to the store up the block but she's really right outside the door he sits at the counter and starts chatting with me normally then the conversation turns to him hitting on me normally I just walk away from mark but I endured it so Lauren would see in here she came in and told mark to go to her room then she starts yelling ahead me saying that I was trying to seduce him and that I dress like a [ __ ] and I'm like I always dress like a [ __ ] Lauren who cares your boyfriend is hitting on me we argued and both said some sucky stuff to each other she and Mark are staying in her bedroom and we haven't spoken to each other since as I'm thinking about it I'm wondering if I'm a butthole for even trying to do this but at the same time I think she sucks for not believing me in the first place I live in New York I love my neighborhood I don't want have to find a new roommate because of this idiots if I did a butthole thing please tell me in my eye the butthole nah Opie not the butthole I'm giving you zero out of five bottles in the situation it sounds like your roommate is in denial and frankly she's not willing to accept the hard truths that are right in front of her face so she's blaming you for it sometimes people in love do weird things am I the butthole for not telling my fiance I used to work as an escort I yield female just got engaged I've been with him for two years and he's amazing and I think he'd be a great father to my children there is however a secret I haven't revealed about three years ago before I met him I briefly worked as an escort it wasn't long about four months and I don't have some sob story about how I felt abused and exploited because frankly I didn't like any job it had it's good in it's bad parts I didn't have some dramatics to worry about escaping it I stopped simply because I didn't want to do it anymore I didn't require therapy or rehab I just moved on and got a norm job I've been regularly tested and have no STDs nor do I have any emotional scars from it so I told myself it's now no one else's business because it won't impact any other relationships however it feels wrong I can't share this he once asked how many partners I had and I simply said a lot and told him technically the truth that I was prolific at one point in my life but no longer am and don't intend to do so I'm still scared to potentially ruin a great thing if I reveal it but I am also not looking forward to keeping this a secret for a life am I at the butthole for keeping it secret so down in the comments people are generally an agreement that Opie is a butthole for withholding potentially deal-breaker information but then Opie posted an update so I thought of what everyone said and considered both sides I decided that I didn't want this hanging over my head in our marriage so it was tough but shortly afterwards one night I had a few glasses of wine and told him I had something I needed to talk about I considered seducing him passionately hugging and then telling him so I could at least do it one last time but decided that would be manipulative and dishonest so I sat down and told him when I said I had a lot of partners it was over a stint of about four months as an escort he was taken aback a bit and said that's not something I'd expect I figured no one would I dress modestly I'm pretty conservative with drinking and I volunteered with the Kids program at my church I had tears in my eyes and asked him if his opinion of me had changed he said well what you did didn't stop you from being the woman I fell in love with so why should it I started crying more tears of joy I begged him to let me know if he had any apprehensions or questions or if it'd come between us in any way he said he might have questions about any cool or sexy stories sometime but for now no he even made a quip about no wonder you blow my mind while passionately hugging you're a professional not really the type of joke I normally appreciate but in that time it was perfect and we ended up going to the bedroom not too much later so now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted and I just how much my fiance loves me and what he's willing to tolerate in me it's wonderful we're both basically in lockdown now both working from home and I'm so thankful to be with a wonderful and amazing man who I love so much and who loves me so much thanks to everyone am i the butthole for walking out of my son's therapy appointment after him and his therapist blamed me for his homophobia I came out as gay three years ago at 38 years old it was the hardest thing I ever had to do and I still can't believe I had the strength to do so I faced backlash from my community my friends and my family but I've learned to love myself and not blame myself anymore before I was out I was married to a man we had two kids together but obviously divorced when I came out two weeks ago my son got expelled from his private school because him and his friends left disgusting notes in a gay kids locker the note said bundle of sticks [ __ ] twink aids and other disgusting things obviously I was beyond hurt and disappointed at Brian's behavior when I tried to talk to him he said he wouldn't act this way if I wasn't an actor at this point I realized his behavior was out of control and decided to get him into a therapy appointment we went to therapy yesterday and Brian said that the reason he lashed out was because I gave him negative associations with being gay because I heard his father I expected the therapist to shut that down instead of using the divorce as an excuse for homophobia which is why I booked the appointment in the first place but he never did that he just made Brian talk more about how my game has hurt his life I left the appointment reddit I'm tired of being told that Who I am justifies hate and homophobia and my loved ones I already dealt with depression and alienation during that first year and I will not blame myself again I love my son more than anything but there's no good reason for a homophobia and bullying and I refuse to entertain a conversation that makes it seem like having a gay mom is a reasonable reason to be a homophobe my ex texted me colorful words and told me that I'm not doing our son any favors but I don't think it's fair for me to have to sit there while his homophobia was being justified am I the bottle here down in the comments hot salt eloquently explains why you're the bottle o P part of therapy is first getting the subject to communicate what the underlying issues as they see them are the therapist wasn't condoning what your son said or did they were allowing them a safe space in which to open up and explore their underlying issues by walking out you set the therapy back by making it clear that the space was not a safe one for your son to talk openly and then the user very very Texan adds to that I agree with the above poster many if not most parents who agree to therapy with their kids are often shocked by those first meetings where their kid is gasp allowed to speak freely about their feelings without being told to shut up go to the room or that their feelings are pointless stupid and wrong they equate allowing these feelings and words to be shared with approving of them that's not the case these parents seem to think that a therapist will punish children for their behavior but that's not the therapists job the son is doing horrible things yes and the therapist will deal with those things but you've got to weed out the garden before you can get to the good soil you've got to find out what the boy is trying to express so they can teach them better ways to process and deal with that for Opie coming out was a freeing revelation for her son it was the point his family ended and his world became a lie if mom's a lesbian then did she ever love dad how could she if she hurt him like this how did she ever love me does she love me if she did wouldn't she have stuck it out etc and then because Opie didn't get what she thought she had paid for she walks out like a child in front of her child here at the butthole Opie go back to therapy with your son if he's willing to try again or without him if not because you've got some things to work through too so yo P I'd agree I give you about three out of five buttholes this isn't about you and your right to be gay it's about your son and his inability to express his frustration in a healthy way and walking out on him really isn't helping with that that was our slash amide the bar and I want to take a moment to address my fans I kind of want to just take this moment to thank you the fans for honestly changing my life because of the coronavirus a lot of people have lost their jobs and fallen on hard times and my heart really goes out to those people because I mean I've got friends who are suffering as well but I just want to say that because of you my fans I'm able to keep working from home making YouTube videos my channel is a little over a year old and I'm at like 1.5 million subscribers so I just want to say thanks everyone all of you really mean a lot to me and my life would be totally different if you guys didn't watch my videos so I just wanted to say thanks

Channel: rSlash

Views: 833,482

Rating: 4.8899732 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: yFsRgjoGhJQ

Length: 18min 23sec (1103 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020