r/Relationships My Husband Wants Us To Become a Throuple!

welcome to r relationship advice where op's fiance asks her to be in a throuple my brother is married to and cheating on my female best friend and i'm conflicted if i should say anything my best friend pam and my brother jim got married two years ago i recently discovered that jim is cheating on pam with a college friend of mine this friend posted a picture of my brother's back laying in bid with her on her snapchat i'm assuming most people thought it was just some random guy but jim has a tattoo of my name and my younger sister's name on his left shoulder i immediately confronted him and demanded an explanation and he admitted that he'd been having an affair for the last two months i was appalled but decided not to say anything due to jim's pleading i've been having a very hard time choosing to stay quiet or not i didn't have a great childhood my dad was out of the picture mom was there but she had some mental health issues that render her let's just say unable to be fully attentive jim stepped up he served as a parent for so much of my life he practically raised me and my sister if not for him being in my life honestly i probably would have starved to death or ended up on the streets i don't think i could just betray him like that on the other hand pam is my best friend we've been best friends since we were 17. if my girlfriend had been cheating on me and pam knew she'd tell me she deserved to know what jim is doing but i'm just unsure if i can out gym like this what should i do and then opie posted an update thanks for all the help i got in my last post as much as it pained me to do so i decided to do the right thing pam should know that my brother is cheating on her i decided to give jim a chance i called him and told him that i can't keep a secret it was tearing me up inside to do so i couldn't think about anything else i told him i loved him so much but i couldn't let him do this to someone that i love like family he begged me to reconsider he didn't try to guilt me or anything but he did say that he needs his younger brother to just be there for him i told him i couldn't i asked him what he would want if it was me getting cheated on or our little sister getting cheated on he said that he understood that it's wrong but he was just exploring himself i told him that's no excuse i told him that he had until that evening to tell pam and if he didn't then i would have to i then hung up and just waited at 11 pm i called pam and struck up a normal conversation i asked her how things were with my brother she said it was all fine and that they were even thinking about having kids i really couldn't believe my brother made me do this but i had to tell her i told her what i saw she was livid and she refused to believe me luckily i was able to show her the screenshot of my brother being in someone else's bed she then told me that she needed to hang up i haven't heard anything from my brother but as of today pam is leaving him so i guess that's good she won't have to be hurt by him like that and i can be there for her my brother hasn't answered any of my calls or texts so i don't know when we'll talk again at least i still have pain with my sister i guess opie i know it was tough but i think you did the right thing not saying anything is the exact same thing as condoning the behavior and that's not the type of behavior anyone should condone my girlfriend has been sleeping with my roommate apparently this has been going on for a while i've been dating her for over a year and i'll confess i'm not very good in bed but i try i love her and i thought her relationship was great then last night i saw her screwing my roommate my best friend who i thought i could count on i'm socially awkward so i don't have that many other friends but i thought that i didn't need anymore as long as i had him i saw them openly going at it in the living room and i couldn't help but stare in disbelief then i heard my roommate tell my girlfriend to keep it down so as to not wake me up she responded by saying that i'd never hurt them before so this has clearly been going on for a while now as i said before i'm not very good in the bedroom mainly because of my small size i've always been insecure about this seeing my girlfriend cheat on me has amplified this considerably i don't know what to do it won't be easy to find a new place to stay and get out of my lease my family's abusive so they're not an option my few other friends are closer to my roommate than me and i wouldn't call them confidence of mine and i've emotionally invested a lot into my girlfriend she was my first one i can't pretend that i didn't see what i saw but i don't know how to get out of my apartment and if i do i'm going to be all alone i'm already dealing with the pain from being betrayed by the two people i thought i could trust and from my personal insecurities i'm terrified of the prospect of being completely alone as well and then opie posted an update first of all thanks to everyone while there were some rather unpleasant responses like the guy who called me a wussy for being upset or the woman who messaged me to say that if i couldn't satisfy my girlfriend i should let betterment do it because she deserved it the overwhelming majority were kind and sympathetic i couldn't respond to most because there were so many but i assure you you're appreciated i talked to my landlord who was sympathetic and offered me another apartment if i continued paying my lease it's an informal arrangement where i'm still legally residing and paying for my old apartment but staying in another as expected my now former friends took my old roommate's side and i've cut them out of my life i'm not doing the best i could be mentally i'm all alone and dealing with personal insecurities loneliness and heartbreak still at least i'm out of my earlier situation i've taken a week off of work and arranged to see a therapist all in all my situation isn't great but it's unlikely to get worse and i'm working on improving it i'm a 30 year old woman and my 33 year old husband has been cheating on me with my best friend and ask me tonight if i want to be in a throuple okay let me start out by saying f2020 my husband lost his job in april and has been home while i've been working extra shifts making 12 an hour to keep us from going broke yes i've been out of the house more than at home yes i haven't been super active in bed because i'm really exhausted all the time from working 70 hours a week standing on my feet all 70 hours i thought he'd appreciate that i'm working so we have things like food and a place to live instead he and my best friend have been passionately hugging while i've been at work she lost her job too they've always gotten along with each other and i've never felt jealous or threatened that they've hung out together just the two of them over the years one very drunk night in 2009 she and i did make out but it was just a one-time thing and i didn't enjoy it i thought i could trust them and that they were just friends obviously i'm an idiot enough backstory i came home tonight and found them snuggling on the couch watching tv like in a spooning position but it was very obvious it was intimate they didn't panic but she sat up then he sat up at this point i felt my stomach turned into a rock and i felt dizzy no lie my body went into some kind of shock i just walked to the bathroom and closed the door and sat on the toilet i just started crying after i have no idea how long i threw up i heard them whisper talking but couldn't make out what they were saying but then they knocked on the bathroom door and asked if i was okay and i told them obviously effing not they didn't backpedal or deny anything they didn't admit to passionately hugging then but my best friend said we should all probably talk about what's going on i stayed in the bathroom and we talked through the door that's when my husband said okay yes we didn't want you to find out like this but we've been in a relationship since july he said some more things but i honestly can't remember them because my ears were kind of ringing and i kept thinking about him saying the word relationship this wasn't a fling or a one-night stand i could maybe forgive that but a real relationship isn't marriage supposed to mean that just you and i are in a relationship so he says whatever and then my best friend says so what do you think i missed everything he said obviously so i told her and she said so you missed the part about all three of us living together after me asking what my husband clarified that she would stay on the couch but they keep each other company during the day and i could be with her too if i wanted she knows i don't want this because we would have made out more than that one time in 2009 right i know she needs to move out of her place because she has no job and therefore no rent money i told her in the past that she could always crash at my place but i never meant like this how could she not know that is my best friend and idiots am i an idiot i need advice yes tell me that i'm an idiot for trusting them and having bad judgment and not doing my wifely duties i own all of those things i just need help figuring out the next steps i do not want to be in a throuple and i don't even want to look at either of them it's 3 30 am and i can't sleep and i don't know what to do i feel like i've been used i don't know whether or not that if i leave i'd have to pay my husband's expenses because he's not working which would mean that i'm paying for them to have a relationship which idiot me has been doing since july and i really hate my life right now first of all op the thing you need to do is stop beating yourself up it's not your fault your husband cheated on you with your best friend it's their fault so my advice to you is pretty simple leave your broke cheating husband with your broke traitorous friends if you ask me i don't think that they really want you to be in their thrupple i think they just want you to keep funding their deadbeat lifestyles my 25 year old male fiancee spent our entire savings to buy a gaming pc we'd been saving for our wedding and honeymoon what's worse is that ever since he got the pc he's totally ignored me and has absolutely forgotten that i even exist in his life my fiance and i got engaged in december last year in january of this year we both decided to save money every month for our wedding and honeymoon in six months we saved around eight thousand dollars last month my fiancee's best friend bought a new gaming pc so my fiance wanted to buy one so he asked me but i denied it because we both already had laptops i told him that he can play games on the laptop that he already has he repeatedly kept asking me if he could buy a pc and i finally agreed to it now i regret it so badly after a week the pc finally came and with the pc a new table and chair were also delivered apparently he had ordered a gaming chair and a table as well that night i asked him how much it all cost and he was a little hesitant to tell me after a while he told me and i was distraught when i heard that he had spent our entire savings of eight thousand dollars to buy the pc we had a very big argument that night and i scolded him for spending all of our savings because those savings contained not only his money but my money as well and we were saving it for our wedding after everything i told him his final reply was i'll earn it all back soon i don't trust those words at all i thought nothing worse than this could happen but it has it's been about two weeks since he got the pc and since then my fiance hasn't gotten up from his new chair ever since he got the pc he hasn't even seen my face the only time that he talks to me is when he's hungry he calls to me and tells me to get him something to eat or drink i call him to watch tv and he denies me saying that he's busy i call him to sleep together and he denies it and says it'll sleep later his sleep schedule's been completely screwed up he plays games the whole night and sleeps at 5am and wakes up at 2pm he's asleep when i'm awake and he's awake when i'm asleep for the past two weeks i've been so lonely that it feels like i'm alone at home without even anybody to talk to he's ignoring me so much that i think he's absolutely forgotten that i even exist in his life i honestly feel like his waitress nowadays because for the past two weeks the only interaction we both have is him asking for food and water and me giving it to him he's also 100 stopped doing all the house chores for the past two weeks i've been the one doing all the house chores and it's getting very hard for me to do it all alone we used to share our responsibilities and do all the house chores together but from the past two weeks he isn't even taking care of himself he's barely even brushing his teeth and taking a bath let alone do the house chores also he's actually supposed to be working from home but ever since the pc arrived he hasn't even touched his laptop to work and he isn't even checking his phone to see if someone called or texted him about work i'm now genuinely afraid that he might lose his job everything that's happening right now is so bad i called my parents and told them about it last night and they had almost nothing to say i'm thinking i'm calling his parents tonight and telling it to them and maybe they can knock some sense into him i honestly don't know what else to do now i want to burn that pc it would be very nice if someone suggested me doing something about this thank you very much for reading this and thank you very much in advance of your comments and suggestions alright op let me offer you a little bit of perspective so as a professional youtuber i build myself a pretty powerful pc i've got two state-of-the-art video cards like five hard drives an extremely powerful cpu three monitors an absolute ton of video and audio equipments to the left of me is a camera that i got because i might want to do on-screen content at some point and it alone cost like fifteen hundred dollars but all of this stuff the computer the three monitors the camera the audio equipment my desk all of that still doesn't add up to eight thousand dollars i mean for an eight thousand dollar computer you would have to buy the absolute top end piece of equipment for every single computer parts what your boyfriend did was insanely unreasonable for someone who only had eight thousand dollars in savings i guarantee you that he could have built a top-end computer for one to two thousand dollars and i know this because i just did it i'm personally not a big fan of reciting famous quotes but one that i always find myself going back to is from maya angelou when someone shows you who they are believe them the first time op you said you want to burn the computer but the computer isn't the problem your fiance has given you a gift by showing you who he really is deep down all i can say to that is please listen to what he's telling you and realize that he's not the guy for you i'm a 31 year old male in a submissive relationship with my girlfriend and i just realized she doesn't actually love me my girlfriend of one and a half years and i follow a female-led relationship it's basically a lifestyle fetish thing without being too specific i've basically dedicated my life to making her happy in a seemingly selfless way it's not really selfless i guess because i enjoy it myself but that's all i get from it she controls all the finances we only do stuff if she wants to do it we never do what i want passionate hugging is only for her i do all the chores etc the whole relationship is basically about double standards that benefit her and that don't benefit me to put it simply but that's just how our relationship is i've struggled with it at times but i enjoy it overall i have a sciatica issue with my back it's normally not a big deal but over the weekend i seriously screwed it up it was totally agonizing and i had to go to the hospital my girlfriend was completely unsupportive and didn't care about me at all she told me to power through the pain but i was like rolling around in pain almost it was clearly impossible i called her by her first name by accident and she yelled at me for being disrespectful i had to drive myself to the hospital because she wouldn't let me use the phone she was just completely annoyed about the whole thing i think she told me that she hopes i catch the virus but i wasn't sure i was out of it as i was leaving the house they gave me some muscle relaxers in the hospital and i'm doing better now but i'm trying not to exert myself too much until the disc completely goes back into place also while she does sometimes treat me badly as part of our role she didn't seem to be doing that here i mean she knew it was serious and i think she just revealed exactly how she felt i always thought that even though we had this relationship she did actually care about me but because of the way our relationship was it didn't come out much she loved me in her own way i thought but these last days i realized that she actually just views me as a literal servant she doesn't care about me as a person only as a submissive partner even calling in a partnership doesn't make sense maybe this is the wrong place to post this but i wanted to get a vanilla perspective with people that have normal healthy relationships am i overthinking this do you think i might be able to make the relationship work long term and if you dabbled in this lifestyle i'd be curious to hear if you've had any similar experiences thanks op i think you're confusing dominance with abuse your girlfriend isn't respecting your limits or concerned about your health and well-being don't let the female-led relationship stuff confuse you your girlfriend is super toxic that was our slash relationship advice and if you like this content 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Channel: rSlash

Views: 440,806

Rating: 4.9424987 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: -07njidC_Bs

Length: 17min 48sec (1068 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 29 2020