r/AmiTheA**Hole For Cutting Out My WIfe's Friend After She Told My Kids How My Wife Died?

g'day there guys younger but quite ugly a version of Steve Irwin here back at it again with another episode of our /mi the a-hole now if you love this Moffat now if you love this video I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and enjoy this bloody good content crikey posted by user furious cine titled am I the a-hole for cutting out my wife's friend after she told my kids how my wife died my first wife had a group of best friends she was super close to they were like sisters one will call faith is the godmother to our oldest child sadly my first wife died due to complications with childbirth with our second child's the group of friends faith included with their for me this was five years ago three years later I met my current wife and we married this year through a lot of conversations we finally decided it was time to answer my kids questions about how their mum died in the past I told them that she got sick and passed away which is technically true but I never went into details there five and seven I didn't want my son blaming my daughter I didn't want my daughter to have any guilts so I finally decided to get them a therapist to talk about it but with the pandemic we have to wait a month the issue came up with faith she watches my kids I told her my plan and she told me that I should tell them not a therapist I said I'd rather have a professionals help faith was really against it but I didn't think much of it until I came home from work and found out she had told my kids a child-friendly version mommy got sick when having daughter but a version nonetheless I was ticked I've banned her from the house and seeing the kids while trying to help my kids emotionally process this my wife is looking at nannies the rest of the friend group says that I overreacted that faith was just trying to help I say it wasn't her place I told them if they keep it up I'll cut all of them off I'm so furious my wife has told me that I'm starting to go too far am I being an absolutely not that is vile it is not her place to be telling the kids what happened to their mother at such a young age that's something you save for much later when the kids are ready for it she took it upon herself to break the news to them what why why would you do that what do you have to gain from telling the kids that like it's honestly sick what kind of sick person thinks that that's okay to do Opie you're not the a-hole I want you to go harder than that it's disgusting that they did that not the a-hole it was not her place to tell your children that's faith might have had good intentions but that under no circumstances gives her the right to talk to someone else's children about how one of their biological parents passed away shake my damn head the road to hell is paved with good intentions good intentions only matter if the results weren't harmful definitely not the a-hole he straight-up told her he wanted the professionals help yet she went behind his back and did it herself anyway not the a-hole exactly this she not only overstepped in a massive way and put the kids at potential risk of emotional harm she has clearly demonstrated she doesn't respect your ability to parent even after you told her your plan and gave her a reason when she questioned you which is already more than should have been required she decided you were wrong and didn't know how to raise your kids as well as she did that's something that isn't going to go away she will continue to question you and overstep you it doesn't matter if she thoughts what she was doing was right she's severely overstepped after you specifically told her how you wanted to handle it she should never have been the one to tell them and it was a complete breach of trust further she owes him an apology even if faith was a sister she had zero place and telling the kids Jesus not the a-hole this is a sensitive topic that absolutely does need professional assistance because things like this will get stuck in the back of a child's mind and could lead to more emotional and mental hurt in the future faith had no place to say that she had no place to put your children's well-being at risk what the hell that's such a crappy thing to do and it will definitely be stuck in the children's minds my late husband passed away when my little boy was one-and-a-half he's six now and honestly my husband's death was so complicated all I've told him is he got too sick and they couldn't make him better obviously it's not going to be enough but he brings it up at the weirdest times and I would be livid if anyone tries to explain his death in more detail particularly if I've already asked them not to the mere fact it was childbirth would definitely cause some resentment between children and be positively crushing to the second child there is no excuse for telling like this particularly if they were planning on going to see a therapist waiting until Cove it is better under control could make for some awkward conversations if the kids have been asking more about it but I really don't think waiting would have caused more harm than having a family friends tell them really makes me wonder if the woman wasn't feeling a bit bitter about the mother's death and already blaming the child and felt the kid needed to feel some guilt about her mother's death too honestly I wouldn't put that past some people I really wouldn't posted by user Billy bland ass titles am I the a-hole for not providing my guests preferred hygiene products earlier this week I had a small party at my apartments we're all sitting in the living room drinking beer and having a chill time when one of my friends let's call him mark oh hi mark for namesake gets up to use the restroom after about 20 minutes we noticed that mark has been in the bathroom for a while now we knock on the door to ask him if he's alright and he doesn't reply about five minutes later we see him sort of waddle out of the bathroom with her I've still got doodoo on my butthole walk and he exits the apartment without another word the first thing I thought is that maybe he had some sort of uncontrolled butt explosion that he's embarrassed about and couldn't clean sir I checked the bathroom and everything is fine it stinks a bit but it's clean I text mark to ask him why he left and he didn't get back to me until today he's now blaming me for not providing toilet paper to wipe his arse and how now he has an itchy rash on his butthole because he had to go all the way home to wipe his ass I told him in no uncertain turns to freak off because there was plenty of toilet paper in the bathroom but he said he couldn't use it now keep in mind that none of us talk about politics and I don't know what their political views are nor do I care as far as I'm concerned my friendships are apolitical and I want them to stay that way that being said I was gifted a whole box of toilet paper with trumps face printed on it during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 and I'm out of my usual stuff so I'm making use of that until I get a chance to pick up more paper at the grocery markets when Mark said that he couldn't use the toilet paper I had he told me the reason was that he didn't want to disrespect the presidents I told him to lighten up and that it's just a gag product that doesn't mean anything to me he hasn't spoken to me since am i the a-hole edits too many people are recommending that socks towels and underwear should be used to wipe ass leavin craps me and clothing your friends bin is not acceptable don't even think about it um oh my god okay I don't think that you're the a-hole for having that's you know toilet paper in there and you've said you want to keep it a political I know some people love to be political and you know this is the kind of stuff that happens as a results it's some it's toilet paper though you surely can just use some toilet paper if you need to wipe that's kind of really weird buddy but I I hope he's feeling better and sorry that he got a rash but I don't think that Opie is the a-hole here they did provide you toilet paper not the a-hole your guests should never be welcomed again what the hell who walks around with a dirty ass because they don't like the toilet paper what a douche not the a-hole it's a gag product that is actually useful you had toilet paper available it was his choice not to use it regardless of how anyone feels about the president's toilet paper is toilet paper if it's all that's there just use its gag toilet paper is usually pretty horrible it's not really meant to be used but it's still better than walking around with crap on your ass posted by user happy things in small titled am I the a-hole for not supporting my sister's GPA celebration sir my 18 female younger sister 15 female ended her freshman year with a 4.0 GPA birth weighted and unweighted I was really happy for her when I heard the news and bought her a congratulatory card and her favorite chocolates when I heard I know how hard it can be to earn straight A's in high school and appreciated that it was no small feat I just recently graduated from high school myself with a 4.75 GPA a 4.0 unweighted GPA for the past few years I have earned straight A's as well at the end of each term when I told my parents the news they would congratulate me with a high five and would occasionally make my favorite desserts same thing when I graduated with perfect grades they were congratulatory but never made a big deal about it I was grateful for their support and never expected anything more after my sister ended freshman year with straight A's however it was a whole different story she got to choose well we ate for a week my parents bought her a Nintendo switch and my dad even crafted a homemade clock for her out of wood throughout the whole experience I was happy for her but I felt somewhat dejected knowing that her accomplishment was so much more valuable than mine especially since I graduated with perfect grades after taking several advanced classes while she has only completed one year arguably the easiest after taking all regular classes I ended up having a conversation with my parents about it the catalyst was them deciding to lease her car that she wouldn't even be able to use for six months when I had to pay mine off in full I expressed my concerns doing so privately because I didn't want her to think that I was downplaying her achievement they said they understood where I was coming from but they had always known that I was smarter and set for good grades well they never expected that from her my mom even admitted that she was prouder of my sister then she was of me because me getting straight A's was her expectation I decided to move out a week ago this isn't the only instance in which my parents have blatantly favored my sister over me it's been building for a long time and I decided that I didn't want to live in environment that didn't support me my family have all reached out to me saying that I was a jerk and disrespectful of my sister I don't know what to do am I the a-hole how is you moving out to get away from your disrespectful parents and neglectful parents and a whole move maybe the parents can be like oh you put up a hissy fit when we had highest standards for you what did you expect dude you're smart she's not smart I just can't come up with a logical way that they would think they're an a-hole because it's obviously not in this situation and I don't know what else to say how is moving out being disrespectful towards your sister did you make a huge poster that says I'm moving out because you are the favorite child did you tell her that your parents are making a big deal out of her GPA because they thought she wasn't smart enough you were definitely not the a hole here your sister isn't the a-hole though I feel bad for when she hits the real world but your parents complete and data a holes for fudging up your self-esteem and fudging up your sisters opinion of herself yeah this is how you end up with the Pauli adjusted and dependent child RP make sure you keep a relationship with your sister but honestly screw your parents that depends my brother literally only had to read his course materials once and show up for the exam in order to get high grades my sister needed to study her ass off to get his C so if she got a b-minus everyone was proud of her and said well done the achievement of a b-minus for her was a lot higher than for my brother the Europeans not the a-hole because her parents really effed up however B make a valid points a grades came easy to my oldest daughter my middle daughter was intellectually disabled and worked really hard for B's and C's I was still proud of both of them good grades may have been easy if my oldest but he worked hard in other areas of her life one thing I never did was reward high grades I was more concerned with what they were learning and their attitude herpes parents are showing blatant favoritism with their rewards it's okay to celebrate achievements you know that came with hard work but in Opie's case it was so blatant that she felt like the achievements don't actually matter moreover since for her perfect grades of the base expectation there is pretty much nothing that she can do to earn a similar level of recognition and/or privileges or at the very least she would have to go to pretty extreme lengths in order to achieve that that's an awful feeling no matter what she does her work and achievements will always be taken for granted posted by user writer number five two four seven titled am I the a-hole for asking my husband to check on me while playing video games my husband is an avid computer gamer mostly World of Warcraft type games and approximately five nights of the week he'll play games online from the time that our son goes to bed at 8 or 8:30 to about 12:30 so at least four continuous hours that in itself is not at all an issue for our relationship he spends plenty of time with me and our son and I have my own hobbies that he isn't interested in that I engage in when he's online a few nights ago I was doing laundry while he was playing online and I stepped on a toy that my son had left on the basement stairs I fell pretty hard and dropped the baskets but luckily because of the way my weight was shifted I fell backwards rather than forwards resulting in the bruise on my butt's but I was otherwise fine the laundry basket collided down the stairs ricocheted off some basement furniture shot laundry everywhere it was a huge racket its woke up my son my husband who had his head friends on heard literally nothing it dawned on me that if something really bad happened to me my husband wouldn't know about it for potentially four hours like what if I broke my leg falling down the stairs so I asked if he would be willing for my peace of mind to just pop out of his office at the midpoint of each night just to check in on me like literally just say hi and go back to gaming he thinks this is a huge overreaction and a waste of time I know for a fact that he isn't actively gaming the entire time and sometimes takes breaks to go to the bathroom or to get a snack or whatever so how is this difference am I the a-hole I'm gonna put my opinion out there whenever I'm at home doing anything unless I'm by myself I always have one ear out of my headset just in case someone needs me like I don't want to be walked in on in my room and I just you know feel safer like no one's gonna scare me I'm not gonna get a jump scare I would say that's a habit that the husband can take on just have one year with a headset in one year with the headset outs and that would make the checking in mainly unnecessary but still something that would be a nice gesture I can see where she's coming from and I understand her so I didn't think you're an a-hole I think he's an a-hole for thinking it's an overreaction not the a-hole my significant other is a gamer similar to yours and in between games he has always came to check on me kiss me etc he's always done this from when we were dating to now living together I think it's really important not only to check up on you but to let you know he's thinking of you I'd seen not the a-hole just because he thinks she's overreacting and from what I understood he won't do it's fine if he thinks it's silly but when you're in a relationship you sometimes have to do silly harmless things for the comfort of your partner since we had kids we're not allowed noise cancelling headphones in the house anymore it used to just be when I was showering as I have a weak left hip from an accident and can lose my balance sometimes but now with the kids we don't use them because if one of us is in the bathroom or changing the laundry out and the other is in gamer land we wouldn't have good response rates to a toddler or a parent emergency admittedly this was very reactive to me slipping on a magnet block with my bad leg while holding my oldest and I couldn't get up for a bit and it took about 10 minutes before husband got up for water or something for us to be helped scared us both enough that we put them in the closet for now and wouldn't that be the reaction you'd expect the Opie's partner to be having right now not to a whole I think that's a fair compromise for him playing Wow five nights a week for four hours they can even compromise further like every hour he texts and instant messages her and only if he doesn't respond does he come check on her he can probably automate it like sends the text if no response in X minutes alert him edits a lot of people are taking my comment a bit seriously it was mostly meant as a joke she seems very reasonable and practical such that she would probably be fine with the text it wasn't meant as a defense of the husband or to seriously imply that she needs to compromise more god damn the buffer men really is on the floor if we raised it any higher they may trip on it I just found that really funny oh [ __ ] [ __ ] is that posted by user guidance enough titled am I the a-hole for avoiding someone who was gay my social group has a guy who is flamboyantly gay and it's pretty much all their personality is about I've never been friends with this person nor do I wish to I'm a rather devout Muslim and in my eyes it's not up to me to tell sane person how to live their life but I can remove myself from situations where he is around I was happy to ignore him at first but he's very touchy-feely with people and has tried to kiss me on the cheek a few times every time I have pulled away or objected he said something snacking like ah relax honey you're not gonna catch the gay off me since then if he is at an events I just avoid him completely he has however taken it as a challenge to make me as uncomfortable as possible so that now I do not go to events at all this ranges from trying to touch me inappropriately marking my religion usually with comments like stoned any gays recently or just insulting me we were supposed to have a barbecue this weekend and I was supposed to bring the barbecue as I have a proper one and a car to transport it's I always divide up barbecue so that there's no contamination between my halal meets normal meats and vegan and vegetarian options he mentioned that he was coming with some of his friends so the day before I put a message in the grip check to say something came up and I wouldn't make it he decided to call me out and said I'll know the harm of Arabism coming I had enough and decided to leave the group I had a few messages from other people asking me why I left and such but I also had some messages from unrecognized numbers insulting me and calling me a homophobe I really want to say not the a-hole because he didn't directly do anything here from what it sounds he didn't directly attack this man he just avoided him because he didn't feel like hanging out with him wouldn't you avoid toxic people in your friend group regardless of their sexual orientation in this one it's easy to say that IP is an a-hole as well because they did it for the reason that they were a homosexual and they didn't agree with it obviously that can rub people the wrong way and I'm gonna call it like I see it I do agree with you guys I think that everyone sucks here in this situation but these are the people much more so for going and attacking him I think it's shameful what they're doing to this man everyone sucks here it sounds less like you stopped being around him because he was gay but because of how he was acting towards you that he was marking your religion and that he was insulting you but you are homophobic initially and that is not okay edits I'm guessing they changed it from not the a whole - everyone sucks here after you said the reason you avoided him initially was because he was gay that's homophobic and your religious beliefs are no excuse it could also be a self-fulfilling prophecy Here I am a lot more demonstrative with my girlfriend when I'm around someone who is obviously uncomfortable with the gays purely because I want to make them squirm I don't really have a problem with making a homophobe son uncomfortable and if they decide to avoid me because of it that's a win-win with that said I totally agree that hitting on people and making physical contact when they're clearly uncomfortable is over the acceptable line trying to make other people uncomfortable with PDA by flaunting your PDA directly in front of them to antagonize them is a whole behavior regardless of your sexuality you can generally make a homophobe uncomfortable by holding hands or with a chaste kiss on the neck you can remain totally within the bounds of what you would see in a g-rated movie and still deeply offend their sensibilities I totally agree that avoiding the guy originally was homophobic and dumb but he said his reasons for avoiding him altogether was because the guy kept touching and trying to kiss Opie on the cheek I don't like being touched and would totally avoid someone doing this too though I would use my words to explain that I don't like being touched everyone sucks he'll you definitely sound kind of homophobic but no one has the right to touch you and make you uncomfortable him calling you out repeatedly for your religion ulcery isn't fair if it's really not about his sexuality why not just talk to women saying look your sexuality doesn't bother me but it makes me uncomfortable when people touch me and try to kiss me this with the exception that it absolutely is about his orientation everyone sucks y'all are P is homophobic as hell and throwing his hands in the air basically saying it's my religion what do you want me to do the other guy is being aggressively gay a dopey probably because of our pees homophobic actions and on top of that touchy feely owner you don't touch someone who doesn't want you to touch them I agree this is homophobic behavior but for Muslims they just avoid people they don't agree with which is what Opie is doing he didn't deliberately antagonize the guy he just was uncomfortable with the touching and deliberately making him uncomfortable sir he dips he didn't go on a rant about how gays are going to hell or how sodomy is a sin or whatever he took himself away from the situation and when the gay guy took it upon himself to make this dude as uncomfortable as possible Irby is homophobic but he didn't do anything [ __ ] ish outright in my opinion he just took himself away from the situation and then when the gay guy essentially tormented him he left like one was he supposed to do the Quran says leave alone those who are deceived by the life of this world which is what Opie did many Muslims have non-muslim friends so long as the friends doesn't make every conversation about bashing Islam and usually Muslims just don't hang out with their friends when they go to clubs or some grab not the a whole posted by user international see 650 titles am I the a-hole for quote unquote lying to my girlfriend about our first date two years ago sir my girlfriend and I have been dating for two years now and our first date was just a simple walk in the park we got ice cream fed some birds talked with each other and it was fun my girlfriend thought it was insanely romantic and always looks back at it too very fondly however the truth was that I took her out for a walk in the park not because I'm so romantic but because I used to hate being taken advantage of on first dates it would not be uncommon for a woman to go with me a couple of times and basically treat the whole experience as a free meal so as I grew older and wise dup I decided that first dates would only be regular activities for me until I knew the other person was really into me my girlfriend and I went to small party of sorts last weekend's and Cara a woman who I dated very briefly four years ago happened to be there it was nothing serious we went on three dates never even had sex which is something my girlfriend already knew since they admit before my girlfriend got there first and I arrived a few hours later and during that time Cara apparently told her that our first dates was at a semi expensive restaurants obviously my girlfriend only told me that when we got back to my place and we had a fights she asked me why did I only take her to a park when I used to take my exes to restaurants and all kinds of insecurities started coming out the only way that I could seem to calm her down was to tell her the truth that I didn't know her that well back then and didn't want to risk what happened to me in the past that made her even more frustrated and she accused me of lying to her by omission because apparently I later believed I was a romantic when in fact I was just cheap I told her that this was unfair and pointed out that sheep is the last thing that she should be calling me when it comes to our relationship my girlfriend is a full-time student and doesn't have an income so I almost always end up paying for everything that we do she agreed that was unfair but she wasn't done lashing out so she said that if I'm not cheap then that can only mean I'm a misogynist because I assumed that she was just after a free dinner because she's a woman after that I had enough and told her to screw off with that nonsense and that I'm going to have a shower and that she's better calm down by then am I the a-hole for lying by omission I guess I could have told her the truth about why our first date was in a park but I never really saw the points really oh this is uh this is a yikes this is like watching your mom and dad fight isn't it I guess yeah he could be lying by a mission there but it's kind of just a response to all these terrible first dates that he's had before with people actually using him I don't I don't blame him for being defensive but I guess it's like one of those secrets that comes out when you're not intending it to actually hurt the person it's more like hey I took on this habit as a protection mechanism and as a result you've been hurt by it but it doesn't mean I see you any differently that's my logic but I guess that both people's Sakia her for blowing up and understandably being upset and him for lying by omission I think that both of those actions do suck everyone sucks yeah I was leaning towards no a-holes here until the last couple of paragraphs you had some bad experiences that made you a bit suspicious she was disappointed to learn that something she thought was motivated by romance was motivated by that suspicion so far that's fine however these two parts that you said none of this is how you communicate in a healthy relationship you both need to grow up and learn to discuss things adults for real RP I was on your side until you told your girlfriend to f off well do you often talk to her so disrespectfully yikes there are two people in your relationship you don't get to close the conversation and tell her to calm down if you need a break to calm down and then reappropriation someone who's disrespecting you like that's bowing out is perfectly normal the failure to communicate lies with her not Opie if she can't communicate her problems to a partner in a way that is not an attack then that is 100% on her I actually don't have a problem with him walking away for a bit sometimes space is a good thing sir if he'd said something like I'm going to have a shower if you want to discuss this calmly when I'm done let me know then I would agree with you but to me telling a partner to freak off and that they'd better calm down before you get back put someone in the a-hole territory even if the partner was the a-hole first I don't know I kind of feel like freak off and calm down is a hundred percent acceptable when in response to the fact that you adjusted your habits in response to bad experiences means you're a misogynist to a random stranger sure but to someone who's been your partner for two years who you're supposed to love and respects she could have reacted better but so could have Opie when people who were supposed to love and respect you starts screaming at you and calling you names over something they're completely wrong about they lose any expectation of being treated with respect in return the whole tantrum she threw is rooted in sexism and she has the gall to call him a misogynist you want dinner at an expensive restaurants nothing stopping you from paying for it princess women like her give the rest of us a bad name that's ironically a pretty misogynistic way to think about that there's nothing to indicate that she wouldn't have paid her own way except she clearly didn't take him to an expensive restaurants but did expect him to bring her to one except she obviously didn't expect that because he didn't and she was fine with it what she appears to not be okay with is being treated like a b-list date when Opie said it triggers insecurities I think he was right on the money this is what is known as intentionally taking words directly out of context he did not tell her to screw off he told her to screw off with that bullcrap there is a two entirely different phrases with entirely different meanings he didn't tell her to get the hell out he told her to take that nonsensical farce of an argument elsewhere the use of very selective editing means you already know this otherwise you would have quoted this word-for-word we're all adults here let's have a debate about what he said not about things we know he didn't say not the a-hole he was in the right to shut down a ridiculous argument about sexism frankly he should bail she has way too many red flags not the a-hole your girlfriend is being super entitled I understand why you do what you do on first dates you are not obligated to take her into an expensive restaurant for your first dates I can understand why your girlfriend might be disappointed but it sounds like you pay for everything you guys do so I don't know why she feels upset it would be different if you were showering axes with gifts while you were being super stingy with your girlfriends not the a-hole this is a red flag what other behaviors has she been exhibiting like this is she often angry or annoyed and why or is this the first time everything is a damn red flag to redditors I swear I would agree with you in general but do you not think that this is a really bad sign not just the fact that his girlfriend is upset about this but also they you're either cheap or a misogynist comments not the a hole in my female opinion it would be a better alternative to me regardless of your reasons cuz it means you didn't do the same on thing with me that you've done with all the other girls she's acting entitled as hell just because you took other girls out to dinner doesn't mean you have to take them all I also don't consider changing a first-date tactic to be lying unless you specifically told her that your plan is to go to the park because it's romantic then it's not lying if she drew that conclusion on her own that's not your faults but your reasoning doesn't make it any less romantic either when you've been burned so many times it's reasonable to assume the next one will do the same thing honestly I'm starting to be swayed towards not the a-hole on this one people have kind of deconstructed the part where I think he would have been the a-hole and I'm starting to side with the boyfriend now am I the a-hole for calling daughter fudging ugly this happens precoded but it caused a big divide in my family now I'm a tattoo artist not famous or anything but I only own shop and I'm pretty well-known within my cities tattoo scene I also have a very particular art style and very rarely divert from this style why fix what isn't broken this style does not include portraits and have not done a portrait tattoo in years upon years so my cousin had been throwing a not-so-subtle hints every single time I'd seen him since he became a father three years ago my cousin and I aren't particularly close after three years he just straight up asked if I could give him a tattoo of his daughter I not being a portrait artist and taking my art very seriously said no I did give him recommendations for the best artists in the city who do portraits and could probably give him a discount if they knew he was my cousin he did not give up in retrospect I know I should have stood my ground but he would switch between being super flattering and telling me how good my art is to passive-aggressively complaining about my refusal until I gave in he did agree to pay albeit much less than I would charge my regular customers anyways I gave him the portraits and it turned out just how I expected I mean it's not the worst tattoo anyone's ever seen but it's not great I did try my best but again not my style my cousin lost his crap telling me I'm the worst artist he's ever met refusing to pay and telling me that I made his daughter look ugly after being practically bullied into wasting my time tattooing someone with no respect for me or my art for a heavy discounts then being treated like crap for giving them what they wanted I was pretty done I said well maybe your daughter is fudging ugly and then slammed the door and locked him out of the shop most of my family now thinks I'm an a-hole for bringing an innocent child into this etc I don't think it matters because that's not really the point and it's not like I said it to her face my co-workers and friends are on mice I'd am I the a-hole edits just wanted to clarify some things some have asked me why I didn't sketch it out before tattooing him I did sketches on paper looks somewhat different than on skin and I told him this but he insisted that it was fine also tracing portraits on the skin before hand doesn't give a great idea of how the finished tattoo will look as another redditor has pointed out that picture is an example from the internet not my it's hats I gave my cousin many opportunities to back out um this just seems like a standard family you know disputes choosing burger kind of situation your comment was out of line although I don't blame you for doing that and just without that comment you made you wouldn't have been the a-hole but I can understand you want to let out your frustration after they've been pushing you so much so I kind of want to say you're not the a-hole but that pushes it into everyone sucks your territory you should have put your foot down about not doing the tattoo and it's really disgusting of you to use insults about his child's you are severely unprofessional and I don't care that it's your family a member of your family hired you in a professional capacity and you did not act like a professional and that includes sticking to outright refusing to do a piece of artwork you weren't comfortable doing for a discount you didn't want to give and of course your cousin sucks because they pulled the idiot card in tattooing and think that if they have a family in the business they can request whatever the hell they want for whatever price they want regardless of your art style okay but if they weren't family they wouldn't be able to have basically harassed them gotten a discount and then gone to family members to complain nothing about this situation is professional but I do agree it shouldn't have happened bald claimed that someone who isn't family wouldn't be able to harass them it's really common where I work for the staff to get harassed by customers outside of work everyone sucks here there my focus isn't even on the ugly comments I get he kept bothering you and he was a total a-hole but you absolutely know as a tattoo artist you never put ink on someone's body you know you be proud of immeasurably more so when it's portraiture of their loved one agreed no tattoo artist I ever met would do a tattoo that they knew was not their best quality though the cousin sucks for being a price about the tattoo everyone sucks he are posted by user massive money 8899 titled mi the a-hole for telling my daughter she is going to make a crap nurse now I have a 15 year old daughter who has wanted to be a nurse for about two years that's great I'm glad that she has a sense of direction she's also interested in politics and social justice and was in a club at a school that focused on women's issues the wife recently got her breasts redone so obviously she's in a lot of pain the only thing I asked of the children is to leave her alone and let her recover well the fifteen-year-old can't manage this she wrote a research paper last year for school about the plastic surgery industry and the negative effects it has on women she brought this up to her mother before the surgery but my wife just laughed it off well now she wants to debate the dangers of cosmetic surgery and the detriments to society while my wife is in a lot of pain and is asked to be left alone I left them alone for like 10 minutes so I can get my wife some food and I came upstairs to them fighting again my daughter will not drop it and all she is doing is making her mother even more miserable so I told her if that's how she treats someone recovering from surgery she is going to be a crap nurse now she's crying and saying I don't respect her dreams so am I the a-hole yeah unfortunately you are if you crap on your daughter like that she's 15 and they understand she's doing a lot wrong to the mother herself so she's an a-hole also you don't just pass to someone who's been post-surgery as an up-and-coming nurse in her own head she should know just how bad surgery is and how much it takes a toll on one's body so both her and the husband a-holes in this situation for causing so much conflict which is just completely unnecessary everyone sucks here your daughter should leave her a while she is recovering but you shouldn't attack your kids dreams because they're obnoxious teenagers don't listen to anything worth a damn sixty-five percent of the time that doesn't mean you tell them that they'll be crap at their chosen profession you could have simply asked her so you feel called to nursing would a nurse treat a patient this way telling her she'll be crap is too far and he should probably explain to her once everyone calms down that as a feminist she needs to respect other woman's bodily autonomy even if she doesn't agree with their choice you treat others how you want to be treated nurse or not she has to find that out the hard way also as a nurse she has an ethical and legal obligation to treat all patients to the best of her ability regardless of whether or not she agrees with their life choices provided those life choices illegal even if they aren't legal we take care of criminals prisoners addicts and abuses and must ethically do so to the best of our ability everyone sucks ER the problem is that she's 15 and to some degree we expect 15 year-olds to suck sometimes you snapped at her in anger instead of teaching her how not to suck hopefully you'll take the time to apologize and have a discussion about how being a true women's rights champion means accepting another woman's choice even if you don't agree with it and being a nurse means caring for and empathizing with someone you don't agree with and even may not like yeah teens and college students tend to see issues as black and whites but when you grow up you learn life is complicated and people are mostly doing the best they can posted by user lk RS nine five six titled am either a hole for having my exes university admission rescinded i eighteen female dated my ex eighteen male from sophomore to the end of junior year of high school we broke up amicably and both moved on he dated more girls during the summer while I remained single we were still around each other a lot because our circle of friends had blended and our younger sisters were best friends at the beginning of senior year I still texted him from time to time because we shared a government class and sometimes compared notes but overall we weren't that close towards December things with his girlfriend got rough and he began to lean on me like an emotional crutch often asking me if I could come over so he could vent to me in person once he asked me to go out to get dinner with him and I declined because I wanted to respect his girlfriend and because I was not his friends he then decided it was a good time to tell me that he still loved me and wanted to get back together because he could see himself marrying me and having kids one day I was extremely creeped out because I was and still am a teenager he wasn't even thinking about those things I told him that I didn't feel the same and he did a complete 180 he called me a prude that was full of herself and said that I should be careful because no one would want to go with brains and that he had was my best option for a future no I ended up blocking him so I could spend the holidays in peace I thought that everything would go back to normal but once I returned to school everything blew up I noticed everyone was giving me odd looks and was so confused until my friends pulled me aside and told me that my ex had decided to expose the truth behind our breakup basically he told anyone who would listen that I was cheating and sleeping with others and almost gave him an STD to make things worse he claimed that I had taken videos of its and shared it with him which is needless to say a federal crime I was ticked one I had never slept with anyone he was the one trying to pressure me into that too I come from a Catholic family who would disown me if they even heard a rumor that I was having premarital relations and 3 I was being accused of a federal crime I went straight to the Dean and told him everything we attended a private school that didn't take such things lightly and I was assured that swift action would be taken I left it at that's trusting that the school would do what they felt was right three months later and I come to find out his admission to a top university along with his full ride scholarship for football had been rescinded I was shocked when I was called to the dean's office and given a formal apology from my ex and his parents at the time it felt right but now I feel like the punishment may have been too harsh even if what he accused me of could have put me in jail am I the a-hole I don't think you're the a-hole for that no as the dead horse is beating into the ground here actions have consequences and he chose a really really stupid action so you know you were just defending yourself and I can't blame you for defending your reputation and yourself from your own family dear Lord I would say that's a very fair punishment for him he needs to start over and try again edits Wow hey y'all I wasn't expecting this to get so many comments it popped up on my instagram explorer page this morning and I was like whoa anyways I'd like to thank y'all for the feedback there seemed to be some common questions and concerns so I decided to answer the ones I've seen the most how did a football player lose his scholarship over hurt feelings I'm still really not sure how it reached the university but it wasn't just hurt feelings I don't think any good college would want someone who throws false accusations around also he's not even that good at football why was your school so serious about its I commented a few times but the school faced a lawsuit a few years ago before my time because they didn't believe a girl who had almost been assaulted on campus they got sued for emergent or duress and criminal negligence I think and I don't believe they wanted a possible repeat you ruined his life over a rumor his life is definitely not ruined my sister found out from his sister that he will be attending the top in-state school and he still has a girlfriend he'll be fine why did you continue to text him I never initiated the conversations we both took a government class that was mostly underclassmen so he would reach out to me if he needed help and I helped him because at that time he had not been aggressive towards me I this answered some of your questions y'all I'll still answer more if I come across them thank you for both the kind words and honest opinions not the a-hole I would even say that the punishment wasn't harsh enough he deserved it for being so nasty what he did was defamation and attack on your character if it happened to me I would have gathered evidence from people he told these baseless rumors to texts chats etc tell my parents and sir his damn ass for defamation it's okay to let them apologize but stand your ground do not to let them manipulate you he pretty much ruined himself by trying to ruin you over a rejection what an ass and all aside from the formal apology did he tell the people he vented out - that he lied to them and purposefully made things up about you and if the next thing he does is create another issue that you got his scholarship rescinded and paint she was the bad guy that formal apology is of no use he didn't mean it and it was just for formality you're not the a-hole and it wasn't your fault his scholarship got rescinded Opie says he had to recant to each person and was moved out of the class we shared and moved to a different lunch block I think he tried to contact my own college about the situation because I have a sports plus academic scholarship but he was shot down I made it clear that if he ever were to approach me again I would file a restraining order so twice he has shown you how vindictive he is you did not decide what the consequences of his actions were do not feel guilty not the a-hole you didn't plan for his scholarship to be rescinded he simply went to the proper authorities to make certain his lies didn't impact dear own life he's the one who chose to spread all those lies about you in the first place a hundred percent this his future university would have seen major red flags with his behavior and realized they may have potential lawsuits and bad press in the coming years he did all this himself you only reported what he did to you the school took it to what level of punishment they felt fits it's also worth considering that depending on timing some would simply have taken his spot at the school Opie's actions probably benefitted them immensely not the a-hole posted by user lamp Doge our titles would I be the a-hole for not sharing my garden with a lazy friend who wants to give the bounty to her church so a 38 female had covered in March on a ventilator in the hospital permanent lung damage the whole thing a friend sister 39 female begged to use some of my garden space to plant a garden I have a large farm I made it clear that I wouldn't be able to tend to her gardens as I'm still recovering and get winded and tired easily and the humidity is really hard on me all good she promised to take care of it and plant a few things for me for letting her use this space a good deal is I love gardening in fresh produce and didn't think I would be able to do it myself this year I paid someone to come till the space it is a very large space personally I plant things in rows far enough apart to be able to take my tiller between the rows to get most of the weeds early in the morning I would plant a few things at a time for myself she would drop stuff off at my house that she wanted planted but would never actually do it citing that she was too tired look she doesn't work and has two children with the elder who's 14 and male that lives with her the only days she helped she planted about four of the 45 pepper plants she had bought and then said she was too tired to even finish I finished the peppers for her and planted some onions her sister who's my friend had given me these I will give her if they live I don't need 40 different kinds of peppers and that many onions I've been trying to get her to help pull weeds water make fence and generally help me take care of this garden she always says she will but never has I told her that her peppers were going to be lost to weed soon she dropped off a super small tiller at my house while I was asleep and told me that shouldn't make me as tired as my larger one I was baffled by that she informed her sister my friend on how she plans on giving and selling my full garden harvest to people at a Mormon Church I am livid some days I seriously almost called 911 be able to breathe after only working a few minutes I planned to freeze and can the majority of my garden to keep my grocery bill down I told her I would give her the onions and peppers but everything else is mine she did no work and did not put any money into my garden her other sister 49 female is telling me I am being unreasonable and her church friends think I am as well they all think that because she plans on giving and selling this to her church that I should let her I'm not the religious type so that type of rationale does not work on me I do volunteer at a food pantry and planned on taking some there they also think I'm awful for taking away from a single mother I know her oldest sister knows the full picture and not just her side and she still thinks I'm being awful so am I the a-hole edits I am single with no children and you live alone so I do not have help apart from my Labrador and cat that chase off rabbits this is my friend's sister not my friend my friend is kind enough to invite me to our family gatherings at her house since I do not have any family living she did bring several more seeds and plants to plant herself she never did obviously and I did not plant most of them and stated I would not both before and after she purchased them so they died or didn't get used she spent a lot of money on these apparently for example she spent $50 on different kinds of pumpkin seeds I told her pumpkins take a lot of space and she would need to tile a bunch of space in one of my fields to grow them her sister and church friends now think I should reimburse her for the money she spent on top of giving her everything in the garden sorry I should have said I believe she wants to give and sell to members of her church not the church directly I think since all of the farmers markets have been cancelled Judah covered her church is putting a make sure one together for members I have nothing against single mothers or low-income people I only added that as she just seems to sit at home all day she does have depression as do I so I can get that can be a factor RP you're not the a-hole this woman is insane in the membrane something needs to be done about this woman's craziness and laziness and her taking her entire harvest is just insanity to me absolutely not the a hole I would just put whatever she's dumped on your property out on the road and say there you go you can have it back see you later not the a-hole and if it were me I'd make a public post talking about all the work I put in so people couldn't shame me for taking what I rightfully grew myself also why is she thinking of selling this to a church she has no moral high ground here at all this is literally the Little Red Hen kids story in real life everyone knows who the a halt was and this is no difference not the a hole not the a hole she should not be profiting from the work that you did literally you reap what you sow if she wanted a bountiful garden she should have planted and cultivated it's not the a-hole giving her the peppers and onions that she brought over is more than fair especially since you did the actual work of growing them Opie also might want to keep a close eye on the garden when everything begins to ripen because you just know that a hole will come right out and take it all this is the comment I was looking for glad I found it completely agree Opie really needs to keep an eye on it because I would bet the tax-free status on the churches that someone will pop round not only taking advantage of your current health but also just to steal what they mentally believe is theirs not Opie's if RB can put up with the loss I would honestly tarnish the whole crop to prevent any theft as well as it obviously is being conveniently done by local wildlife which Opie had no control over screw those a-holes not the a-hole no questions asked posted by user designer age 9 to 7 4 titled am I the a-hole for not including my trans sister in my wedding party so this happened last year I got engaged back in 2018 and chose my wedding party three of my closest friends and my fiance chose his brother and two of his friends growing up I was not close to my younger sister then brother there wasn't any bad blood or anything we just don't have a lot in common and barely speak about two months before my wedding my sister came out as a trans woman I was happy for her that she's finally living her true life shortly after she approached me and asked to be a one of the bridesmaids saying that it would basically be as sort of a milestone for her in her new life as a woman I told her no because we already had everything planned out and the wedding was just a few weeks away I told her I fully supported her if she wanted to wear a dress to the wedding but it would be too hard to include her at the last minute she said she understood and didn't bring it up again she ended up not attending the wedding despite RSVP'ing yes my parents and I tried to reach out several times over last year to see if she was okay but she kept telling us she was fine and that she needed to be alone we finally talked recently and she told me she boycotted my wedding because she knew the reason that I didn't want her as a bridesmaid was that she looked very masculine still that isn't true at all she insists that if I didn't find the way she looked objectionable I would have included her so am I the a-hole personally I don't think you're the a-hole here your sister is throwing wild accusations at you it was obvious that you'd already planned your bridal party beforehand and they've come and asked to be a part of it and you said no you gave the perfectly valid reason and they extrapolated from that that there were too masculine I don't understand that's so no you're not the a-hole for this one edits hope this is allowed the post got locked just wanted to address some of the comments so my sister was not asked to be a groomsman before she transitioned because she only met my husband once and declined when he asked her hangouts she and I and not closed due to an age difference and we have very different people if we were not related I doubt we'd be friends she is very outgoing and extroverted while I'm the opposites it never crossed my mind that she would even want to be a part of the wedding party I'm definitely going to ask her to do some girly things with me someone suggested a cute photo shoot I was thinking it would be a nice present for my mum thanks for the comments and advice not the a-hole since when do people ask to be in a bridal party seems a bit rude it seems to be a thing now like certain folks are entitled to be in a bridal party because of their position it's annoying and expensive the bridal party is about supporting the vows not wearing a dress it was a play for attention she wanted to repurpose Opie's wedding as her transitioning milestone and boycotted the wedding when Opie refused to step out of the spotlight for her I think it's an example of there not being enough prejudice to go around so some people manufacture it to suit their cause RP couldn't accommodate an extra bridesmaid at the last minutes so obviously she's a bigots discriminating against her sister for not being passing boycott honestly RP is better off without the drama that's coming if this is how they act with people that love and accept her there's going to be a wild ride ahead with other people that aren't quite so nice or even indifference I think that's a bit cynical for the information that we have I agree that RP has done nothing wrong of course but in regards to the sister I interpreted that as her being deeply insecure and that causing her to see our P's Joyce as a rejection rather than the entirely reasonable situation that we can see again not saying Opie is responsible for any of this I just think it wouldn't hurt to give the sister the benefit of the doubt that she's coming from a vulnerable and insecure place I mean you may be right but I think that's a big judgment call on limited information I mean if RP is to be believed the sibling literally said it would be a milestone for them in their new life as a woman sounds kinda like they wanted the memory to be about them and not the wedding not the a-hole people will always always make someone else's wedding about themselves she should have spoken more with you about it instead of boycotting your wedding altogether the thing is you don't ask to be a part of the bridal party you are asked by the bride and that close to the wedding it would be hard to add an extra person in and fop paid for the dresses that's another expense they didn't budget for plus the hair and makeup cost and the cost of the bachelorette party it's also so weird she boycotted it and took it as opie being transphobic when they weren't even close and therefore she wouldn't have been asked anyway I completely agree it would be one thing if the sister was upset because she had previously been included as a groomsman or something and was due factor removed from the wedding party when she transitions but if they weren't close enough for the sister to be included before why would she be entitled to his spot in the wedding party after especially at the last minute am I the a-hole for laughing at my son's girlfriend when she asked me to pay her compensation for the money I spent on my other grandchild I have two grandchildren one is seven and the other is five the seven year old is the child of my daughter and I do have more access to her but despite what my son's girlfriend accuses me of I do not have a favorites the seven year old does beauty pageants they are completely her choice but she saw pictures from her mother and died doing them and begged to be in them she also rides horses combines this is very expensive and I pay for it all I've offered and I'm happy to do so my son's girlfriend is morally opposed to pageants and afraid of horses her daughter is asked to do what a cousin does but isn't allowed to she does t-ball and music lessons which I also pay for but they are significantly cheaper than what the seven-year-old does the other day my son's girlfriend brought up this favoritism and I said this isn't favoritism because I pay for two activities for both of them she said it is going to give her daughter a complex so I need to even the money off and put the rest in a savings accounts my husband and I laughed because that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard and she stormed out of the house my son actually said I should post this because he's conflicted afraid of her so am I the a-hole I wouldn't say so no that's just stupid logic coming out from that woman and you know if she wants to put that money into a savings account to make up the difference herself she's more than welcome to I feel like this is just a quick cash grab and she needs to get over herself ROP is not the a-hole this woman is delusional your granddaughter needs a loving grandparents who were active in her life not your money and your son needs to put his foot down and tell his girlfriend to knock off her crap and she is going to be the one to give her daughter a quote unquote complex if she is constantly talking about the money difference between granddaughters your granddaughter is a child there's no way she'd either know or think about how differently expensive they're two sets of activities are unless her mom is putting that in her you can always remind her mum that you offered to pay for the same activities but as she refused you'd still happily provide for the alternatives but she needs to lay off about the financial difference as it was her restrictions agreed kid probably doesn't even understand the concept of money and you'll still happily provide for the alternatives correct to a certain points hobbies and similars should be what the kids like if you say this she'll understand that our people pay for any hobbies and the mother will likely pick a very expensive one that she wants the kid to do not what the kid would like to do the younger daughter wants to do pageants and horseback riding though Hopi was willing to pay for it but the mother said no for her own reasons very likely choosing daughters current activities herself not the a-hole it is very generous for you to pay for your grandchildren's activities paying for the same number of activities is fair it is not your decision which activities the kids are participating in and the child who is in less expensive activities will only get a complex if her parents tell her about the money discrepancy otherwise she'll never know that her cousin's thing costs more the children shouldn't even know who pays for their hobbies posted by user salt understanding 7 titles am I the a-hole for throwing out my mum after she threw out my weed so I'm a 30 year old man I'm single and live alone in a house that I own a few months ago you know what happened and my mom lost her job so I decided to let her stay with me I have a medical marijuana card and smoke everyday I knew my mom disliked weed so I warned her before she moved in that I would be smoking weed daily and would not stop for her she agreed and only asked that I smoke weed outside which I thought was a relatively reasonable request weed has a strong smell and many people don't like it at first this worked out fine at first but she started making remarks about how I should quit etc I mostly just ignored them and brushed them off then it evolved to her demand that I quit as if I was still a child she could issue orders too I refused and told her that she can move out if she doesn't like it she started crying and saying that I don't love her that I have a problem etc the next day I come home from work to find her waiting for me she explained that she had flushed my weed a little less than an ounce down the toilet for my own good and then demanded that I go to treatments well predictably I was furious and not even really about not having weed anymore it's pretty cheap like I usually buy ounces for 125 bucks and I can easily get more it was about her total lack of respect for me I'm an adult I own my own house have a good job and have approval from the states to legally purchase and possess marijuana so someone I'm doing a huge favor for demanding that I stop and throwing out my stuff when I refused is extremely outrageous to me no matter if she pushed me out of her vagina 30 years ago anyway we argued about this for a while and it became clear to me that she was not sorry at all and that she would probably do it again so I told her she can't live with me anymore I gave her a month but she's already packed all her crap and drove to my brother's house a couple hours away she obviously thinks I'm a huge a-hole and so does my brother but I think that's mostly because she is his problem now crazy how throwing out someone else's property can lead you to being kicked out like that man oh god I have free rein over my son just because I birthed him yeah I'm so smart it's pretty apparent here that Opie is not the a-hole I support your decision to kick her out if she's not gonna respect you it's you know not the best time to do it obviously you'll get a lot of people saying you're an a-hole for doing it during the current crisis but she has the brother to live with a few hours away and now she's his problem not the a-hole it wouldn't even matter if you smoked purely recreationally you're in adults you have your own home and your own life her approval isn't necessary it sounds like she might be trying to over parent you because moving in with you upset the power dynamic that you used to good job setting the boundary and enforcing it not the a halt I 28 female are in my own house have a decent paying job and have all my debt paid off smoking pot is still illegal in my states I however don't care I'm not 16 anymore and I don't have to revert to keeping it in my car anymore I can literally keep it wherever I want in my house my mom and dad don't like that I smoke pots they hate it alot and don't understand why I do it I usually tell my mom because she likes to drink that it's like my glass of wine at the end of the nights I don't really like to drink cuz a lot of people in my family are alcoholics and since I actually enjoy the occasional drink I don't want to ruin that freedom by becoming an alcoholic anyways my parents understands that I am an adult and just like when I lived in their house you live and come to my house you live under my rules you honestly need to talk to your mom about boundaries just because she's your mother or anyone in your family for that matter does not mean they get to ignore your boundaries family doesn't get immunity from boundaries that you set for yourself how would she like it if she threw her stuff away just because you didn't like it and thought she had a problem the double standard around weed in the US is bonkers people will judge those who smoke recreationally but drinking multiple nights a week or even daily gifting bottles of alcohol offers happy hours and the like a roll no problem despite overwhelming evidence that weed is a less harmful and dangerous substance than alcohol even in legal states you can still lose your job for using cannabis due to federal prohibition even in legal states there are laws prohibiting you from smoking on front porches or areas that are visible to the streets despite the fact that there are not similar laws limiting adults from visibly consuming alcohol on their own property we need legalization on the federal level and massive re-education around our drug policy it may be too late for the reefer madness generation but lumping marijuana into the same category as meth and heroin is incorrect for so many reasons and not how we should be educating future generations about responsible substance use not the a-hole your house your rules if she can't follow the rules she's got to go good for you for setting boundaries I'm constantly amazed by the number of people on mi the a-hole who give free housing to people who throw out their stuff if a houseguest is not working and is getting free housing they should be helping out around the house cleaning cooking doing chores etc not snooping through personal belongings making demands or throwing away staff posted by user what the hell mom one two three titled am I the a-hole for telling my mom to stay out of my sex life I twenty three female and gay I came out to my family when I was 18 and my family reacted pretty well sometimes my mom will say like low-key homophobic things but it's really whatever I've been dating a girl 23 female let's call her K for about three years now and I took her home to meet my parents last week my parents Lika and Dole which is good but this is the convair my mom Kay and I had last nights we were all sitting in the living room and she randomly says sir who's the man in the relationship um what who's the man you know during sex what the actual hell kind of question is that I'm your mother I have the right to know about you know you don't why would you want to know anything about your daughter's sex life what's wrong with you okay you'll tell me which one of you is the man in which one is the woman are you the man yep okay cert me and Kate ID we're gonna go to bed mom so Kay and I stand up and start walking up the stairs mum says it's just a simple question why does it matter so much I tell Kay to wait on the stairway and I go back down to my mum the fact that you want to know about my sex life is so weirdly disturbing that I don't even know what to say what is wrong with you Jesus fudging Christ I was so weirded out by my mum doing this that we left that morning to go back to our apartments my mum has texted me a few times asking me why I left and why I wouldn't answer her questions about my sex life but I've ignored her I do feel bad leaving because I haven't seen my parents or my siblings in a while but what the hell am I the a-hole edit / update she called again today so I picked up she asked me why I left and I told her that she was asking weird questions and it made us uncomfortable she then told me that she heard us having sex at night confusing because we didn't have sex and my sister is 14 and my brother is 13 when I told her that she definitely didn't hear anything she told me that it was rude of me to hide stuff like that from her and that she has a right to know I ended up explaining to her that it was homophobic of her to ask who the man is but she kept telling me well someone has to be the man then I kept trying to change the subject and she got mad and hung up when I wouldn't talk about my sex life this is pretty confusing because she's never been this interested before this is the first girlfriend she has actually met so I assumed that has something to do with it honestly I'd love to ask her weirdly inappropriate questions about her sex life back boots she would probably answer them and I don't want to know that um that just got really weird really fast I'm gonna go with you're not the a-hole for taking those actions I think any sane person would do it or start a fights think it's better that you didn't start a huge you know arguments in the house and you let things defuse there's a really oddly intrusive questions that she has no right asking or knowing as you've said and I agree with you so opie you were not the a-hole this was super cringy firstly she's not entitled to information about your personal life sex included I can't believe I'm typing this secondly this hetero normas ation of homosexual relationships is just wrong what the hell is that question even supposed to mean you're obviously both women in your relationship da so I would either go with that or ask her stupid question right back at her who's the man in a woman in her relationship also even if she were oblivious to all of that you sing you don't care to answer this question should have been the end of it digging her heels in like she did and even continuing to harass you makes her this super a-hole maybe Opie could give her a pair of chopsticks and Oscar which one's the fork seriously asking which one is the man is just massively insulting like the defining feature of a lesbian relationship is that it's women only no men allowed so who's the man neither that's literally the whole points that's that's what we're going for there huh that's what I usually say I have had people try to discuss with me who in a gay couple is the other gender I'm like oh wow and I always just look at them like they're shockingly stupid in complete silence for a while and the nice slowly in a I don't believe I have to explain this to anyone kind of tone and so neither they are both men / women and that's the whole point of homosexuality that they aren't attracted to the opposite sex but the same sex some people seem to think they can happily discuss this with me because I interact well with other people regardless of their orientation or gender and I'm an heteronormative relationship as if they think I have insight and won't judge because I'm obviously also strange and think like them spoiler just because I'm married to a man as someone presenting as a woman does not make me straight and I'm actually not straight at all I'm queer as hell you just don't immediately see it like that's even a thing really the sentiment in itself comes from the sexist belief that all men and women are supposed to adhere to gender specific kinks which is ridiculous since that stuff is decided by a good few thousand mental and genetic factors although others said it better I want to reiterate that in the same sex relationship you are still both the woman and there is no man role that needs to be playing in a relationship I remember being out with my lesbian friends and someone asked them this and I remember dying of shame that someone would ask this question of them literally they are both women so there is no man in the relationship they have sex like two women not like a woman and a man not the a-hole posted by user violet clouds 22 titled am I the a-hole for telling my parents that part of the reason I don't want more than one kid is because of them I female 26 have been with my partner male 25 for three years and recently we've been talking about having a child the topic came up at my parents house and they've commented how nice it'll be for us and them to have kids running around I gently told them that we're actually only planning to have one child and all hell broke loose apparently if we only have one child they'll grow up spoilt brats lonely etc we told them that we obviously want to raise he or she to help others and be grateful for what they have and that they will be able to play with our friends children my mum wouldn't let it go and kept telling me that because I'd grown up with siblings I should know how important it is for the kids to have them after hours of being told off for ruining my kid's life before they even exist I snapped and told my mum that part of the reason I don't want more than one kid is because once they had my brothers I was pretty much ignored growing up I got good grades worked and was pretty responsible while my brothers were challenging and got in trouble Alliance this match they took up a lot of my parents time and attention and I was just left to my own devices unless they needed an extra parents they never helped with homework took me to college visits came to any of my games or even really hung out with me because my brothers needed their time more when I went to college they asked if I'd mind using the money I earned from work and taking out a loan because they needed to use my college fund to pay off one of my brother's debts and to get the other one in apartments it was their money and they're not entitled to pay for me to go to college so I said sure but they then missed my graduation as my brother had a soccer game and only sent me a text Pattin has continued until the state to be honest with forgotten birthdays etc I know my parents love me and I don't blame them as I know my brothers were high maintenance but the reason I only want one child is because I want to give them enough attention and make sure they never felt the way I did I explained all this to my parents but my mom said I'm an a-hole and that the reason I didn't get attention was because I didn't need it and I should grow up and stop taking my resentment out on my future kids so am I the a-hole Wow wow that's actual serious gaslighting ends deflecting on the parents there dear Lord are they just completely unaware of how they made Opie feel that's so heartless to say that and their actions throughout the years are completely heartless as well in what universe could Opie be the a-hole here you've been emotionally neglected by your parents dear lord I think this is a good first step to getting the parents to understand where you're coming from Opie but I think a lot more work will be needed in the future if not possibly just going low contact with them for a while so that you get your own space because this is gonna bring up a lot of bad memories or events from the past so I don't blame you if you do anything really with this the ball is in your court and in my eyes you were not the a-hole the reason you didn't get attention was because you didn't need it she seriously said this no your parents were crappy parents there was no excuse for that blatant favoritism that went on during your childhood my parents said the same damn thing the squeaky wheel gets the oil I wasn't a wheel I was a child I don't talk to them anymore Opie says it's a horrible attitude to parenting and I'm really sorry that you had to hear this too you don't get to pick and choose which child gets your time and attention I'm glad you made the decision that was right for you and hope you're doing better the fact they missed your graduation from college for a lousy soccer game are they serious no they're crappy parents and the blatant favoritism is overwhelming here I completely understand - Opie with that one my parents made me miss high school finals to go to see my older sister college graduation several states away I had no choice I performed so poorly on my finals that my overall GPA dropped to a two point five I was made fun of and treated as if I was stupid at the practice graduation ceremony by one of my peers for such a low GPA so you missed your finals completely and got zeroes that wrecks your GPA and you weren't able to reschedule no I missed all the review days the review sheets for the exams studying with my peers didn't have time to study between going to the state my sister was in attending her graduation and going back I was able to do the tests when I returned to the States literally the day after we got back no time to study I just lacked all studying basically that's psychotic who does that to their kid hey where can I totally screw over your education to go celebrate your sister's education not the a-hole your choice but to be honest if you have more than one kid I have zero doubt your experience will ensure that you don't do the same to your kids I wish I could update this more opie it is absolutely a choice and if one kid is all you want and feel comfortable with that I think that one kid will be well loved and raised rights but you are also in a position where you know exactly what not to do with multiple kids so you would be able to do it right and not be crappy like your parents absolutely not the a-hole and your parents suck I'd never thought of it that way and it's such a good points I've never considered having more than one but it's nice to think that if I change my mind I will at least have some idea of what not to do thank you both I would highly recommend lowering your contact with your parents before kids come into the picture they clearly unapologetic and definitely the a-holes here posted by user Lonely Planet's girl titled ma the a-hole for telling my dad I'm not ready to meet the person he's seeing only two months after my mom passed away my parents have been together for 40 years my mum had a cancer diagnosis in February and she passed away in April I've always been close to my parents and they've always been like friends too my dad started seeing someone last month and while I honestly prefer that to him being on his own all of the time and I have no problem knowing he's spending a lot of time with that woman I find it very difficult to be around my dad and her I met her for the first time last week and I realized that I need more time before being around them together maybe that's irrelevance but that woman is the same age as me late 30s and it's a lot for me to process at the same time a few days ago I decided to be honest with my dad and I told him that I needed time I tried my best to make it clear that I'm not against him seeing someone and that I do accept that he can spend all of his time with her if that's what they want I just need time to be around them as a couple he got it all wrong and now he's upset with me I'm lost am I the a-hole I don't think we continue as an a-hole in this one like it is a lot to lose your mum like that that would obviously take a long time to heal from but even if this was just a case of divorce and you know one parent getting with the partner of another for a lot of people that's hard for them to see one of their parents with someone else and that does take a long time to adjust to so this situation is just facts amplified to the enth degree and everyone has their own time that they're ready to see things some people are never okay with it and they can never see the parents as a new couple new structure and that's completely okay I think Europe Aegis needs to have another sit-down with a dad in person and really just explain how they're feeling and why they're feeling this and what's going on there because yeah I can sense a lot of pain coming from this person and it's okay it's your feelings are valid but I definitely do not think you're the a-hole you are not the a-hole at all this is a very difficult time for you and it is okay for you to need time to process everything you don't mean anything meaningful with it so take your time that's exactly it I'm still trying to realize what happens because everything went too fast one day my mom was doing great No symptoms or anything the next she gets a scan results and we learned she's at the final stage it's so surreal and tied to process I don't think he's the a-hole either this is a clearer case of nere holes here unless there's more to the story that hasn't come out the timing is a bit quick for my taste but who can judge how someone grieves and it doesn't sound like he's been too pushy yet on this but if there's more going on to the story of them dating or he gets really pushy about you spending time with her he would become an a-hole because you definitely aren't it felt a bit weird to write this post considering this subs name because it's clearly not a question of who was an a-hole in the story no one is I'm really just questioning if my reaction is normal or not considering the situation like you said grieving is a different process for everyone and this is why I respect his choices I just can't be part of it right now it's too quick for me my dad died from cancer 13 years ago I was five and my mom remarried eight years ago and at first I didn't know what to do she told us he'd proposed I wasn't even sure if they were dating to be honest I was only 10 and asked my sister and I how we felt about it we both were happy for her because she was happy bits deep down I still wasn't sure but I never said anything but my stepdad is a great guy so it's all good and stuff I know my situation was different from yours but it's okay to need time and to take as much time as you need you're in no way in a hole and I'm sure your dad understands that you will need time not the a-hole and honestly super weird in my opinion for him to be dating so soon after his wife's death and dating someone his daughter's age yes all of it feels weird at the moment but whatever his grieving process is I will support it I just thought he would get that I'm not ready to pretend to be a family again with a stranger hey I just wanted to chime in here my mom died five years ago and my dad found a new partner about four or five months afterwards it was a strange time my parents had been together for nearly 30 and I couldn't understand how my dad could just move on but you don't choose when you meet someone and they've been together ever since and they've recently had a baby they're clearly very happy his new girlfriend is also younger than him by quite a bit so it's a very similar situation it took me a while to become accustomed to seeing my dad with another woman especially as my parents had such a wonderful relationship but in the end I'm a grown woman my dad's girlfriend isn't my stepmom we have a very different relationship than what I had with my mum and that makes it easier to understand we get on really well and I love having her around and my dad is happy posted by user to be deleted soon titles am I the a-hole for calling my stepfather an alcoholic every time he calls my brother a gay he isn't really my stepdad as I was 15 when he came into our lives and I've never seen him as a father to me especially as my dad is still in the picture it's just easier to call in my stepfather sir my stepdad and my mum had a baby when I was 17 my brother is now six years old and lives together with me my sister and our mother in apartments so he's the only male in the households his father lives a five minute walk away from us my brother loves wearing dresses and high heels every once in a while unicorns and butterflies loves glitter and pink and all stuff his father calls girly but brother also likes cars trucks and big machines play fighting and stuff like that my stepfather has a problem with his son liking girl stuff and that we're raising him to be a gay since living together with three adult women who let him play whatever he wants has a bad influence on him and he will turn out to be gay my mother and my sister ignore comments like this from his side but I usually fire back stuff like better gay than being an alcoholic and similar comments mentioning his drinking problem he lost his job and driver's license due to his addiction a year ago and doesn't see the problem with it he's putting our brother in danger when cycling with our brothers he'll just be reckless and do dangerous stuff and my brother will copy him of course and shows him how to load a gun which is also illegal in my country so he's barely allowed to see his son especially not alone my mother insists to think I'm being an a-hole to mention his addiction when he says idiotic stuff like this and I should just ignore it but I think he's an a-hole for calling his son as soon to be gay I don't have a problem with his stepdad and in general I don't hold a grudge against him when he's nice and normal I'm able to talk to him in a friendly tone I'm only like this when he talks crap about my brother and the LGBTQ community what do you think edits he never called my brother directly gay or a gay and my brother never heard those words out of his mouth he only says that when he's in an argument with our mother or me and my sister when my little one isn't there to hear my mom and sister ignore what he says because he's drunk and they don't want to waste time talking to him when he's like that I think it's a very clear case of you're not the a-hole and we really do want to keep that dad away from the Sun for a while while he's still forming in the brain area probably a really bad influence to be impacting him it's not just say that keep him away entirely it's to say don't let him affect the brothers choices and behaviors so negatively from the get-go because kids are very impressionable and teaching him how to load and gun while you know that's it's okay to do that it doesn't bring the best impression out it's in a father especially in a country where it's not legal to have guns I can understand America but if this were Australia and you would pack harm and they're saying yeah I was just teaching my kid how to load a gun you'd have so many heads in the room turn and be like um 22 called Child Protective Services on this man so because of that not the a-hole if he has no problem spitting slurs at a literal six-year-olds then he should be fine with getting called out for being an alcoholic piece of trash simple as that I'm more concerned with the fact that your sister and mother have zero problem with your grown adult stepdad howling insults at a child's being a worthless alcoholic and owning an illegal firearm then you potentially hurting the drunks baby feelings Oh No oh my god I missed that this poor boy is six years old it's not right to say that crap to a man of any age of course but he is a freaking baby there is no right situation in which you should be saying that to someone at that age honestly Opie you're not the a-hole Arpi edited and said that he hasn't used the slur directly Adam but I wouldn't be surprised if he's heard its kids are really perceptive and if this is sent to Opie and their family during arguments I doubt it was done quietly poor kid definitely not the a-hole giving him a dose of his own medicine if he can't be respectful to a child he can't be respected in my opinion keep looking out for your brother he needs you and we'll need you in the future if only to have someone who understands and supports him and allows him to be fabulous I will say be careful stepdad seems volatile and provocation could end very badly for you and for your fabulous brother exactly this he seems like he could get violent with his homophobic fears ever proven to be true or if he suspect that your brother is too close with a friend watch him and keep him away from your brother am I the a-hole for telling my that she should eat less I'm 17 quite slim although I don't think I'm underweight 110 pounds 5 foot 5 and I have a friend who's 19 who is quite obese now I never made any comments about her body as it can come off as offensive plus I hate it when people comment about mine however for the past couple of weeks she's been making small comments here and there about how lucky it is to be skinny complaining about not having the ideal body shape and how my cherries is so small it must be so easy for me one time she also bought a shirt I picked out because I didn't have enough cleavage to look good in that style well yesterday while we were eating lunch with a bunch of friends her friends I don't really know them but I don't mind their company she told me jokingly that I should eat more so that men can tell that I'm a woman and not a kid she laughed and some of her friends did too however the others looked a bit uneasy I felt really embarrassed and angry since I find it hard to gain weight and have taken years to actually like the way that I look so I told her that she should eat less and stop pushing your insecurities unto me just because you don't like that you're obese she then yelled about how rude and inconsiderate I wants to be body shaming her and that I can air fried off since men prefer curvy women anyways to which I said not with that crappy attitude they don't before paying for my dish and walking outs now I'm getting text messages all over the place saying that I shouldn't body shame other people and spread hate after she posted on her social media crying I don't think I'm the a-hole here but I could be serve a my edits I checked my weight after some concerning comments and found out I actually gained weight although it's still unhealthy it's something I did tell her to cut it out most of the time the other times I dress grew silence and left and I know what obesity is just because I'm underweight doesn't mean I see bigger people as obese I think everyone's done wrong by each other here and this is a situation where they've let this continue to fester for a long time and not addressed it maybe just been passive-aggressive with each other over time I think that both of their actions are wrong but I can understand where it comes from because if you build that up so long you just let emotions fly the obese friends was in the wrong for starting it and Opie was in the wrong for body shaming her when she was body shamed herself but everyone seemed to dog pile on Opie when she was body shamed first which doesn't make any sense to me and makes the friend the bigger a halt and Opie in this scenario so it's everyone sucks here leaning on I'm siding with Opie everyone sucks here you both body shamed each other and two just tearing each other down next time don't give her ammunition for her fire Opie even though everything you did say was spot-on she's definitely projecting her insecurities on you the high road will always get you closer to the top though I agree but I found that in some cases turning the other cheek is just giving them a new cheek to punch sometimes you can take the high road but in doing so you excuse their crappiness times like these I'd have thrown it right back in their face and said don't dish what you're not ready to take very rare occasions though well it also depends on the relationship you want to hold with people I have a co-worker who is unfortunately rather obese I don't get involved because it's not my life and everyone is on their own journey but the rather bitter comments I get about my own weights can be rather trying she tells me I need to relax or loosen up more when I have a salad or decline the office snacks and rolls her eyes am I going to the gym in the middle of the day on the other hand she also throws out remarks about how I'm so lucky with genetics and my weight and fitness just magically sawed themselves out unlike hers outside of relatively limited interactions regarding food and fitness though she's rather pleasant and a good worker I also know that everyone else thinks the whole thing is ridiculous on her parts and it all just makes me feel sad rather than offended in an office context when everything else is fine and not impacting me I'm not willing to invest the political capital or energy to fight this if she was a friend and I wanted her to be more considerate I would probably be reacting differently but she's just a less-than-ideal co-worker and there's a redeemer dozen i'll pick my battles so this kind of thinking I find very frustrating about this subreddits people think that your only two choices are remaining completely silenced or stooping to their level but the real answer is to stand up for yourself without doing exactly what you don't like them doing in this example she could have said something like this is my body and I don't appreciate you making comments about it it's not up for discussion or criticism your words hurt and if you continue making those comments I'll reconsider our friendship she literally doesn't have to say one word about the other girl's body sometimes you have to in my opinion because it shows them your perspective of their behavior I don't advocate for stooping to their level but I do advocate a good slap in the face with reality some people don't get it if you try to articulate how it makes you feel and clearly that was the case with RP so you show him how much it sucks to be on the receiving end that's all not the a-hole your response was perfect it was concise and you hit the nail on the head she's just reacting this way because you'll likely write about her intentions behind nitpicking your waits this exact scenario is why I hate the song all about that base because it puts one body type being skinny down to uplift another curvy and chunky which is not cool anyway your friend is seemingly quite insecure if you want to salvage this friendship I would advise waiting a bit before engaging her in conversation posted by user confused dad's 7 1 8 1 titled am I the a-hole for giving my daughter $100,000 for a house and not giving my son anything I know the title sounds bad but please hear me out I 55 male have two kids Anna 30 female and Alex 27 male their mom isn't in the picture I have a relatively high earning job so I was able to save up for the birth of them to go to college which amounted to $100,000 for each kid the thing is and a good a full scholarship for college where both her tuition fees and living expenses were paid for but I had to pay for my son's education and living expenses with the money I saved up both my children knew I had $100,000 for their college education but since my daughter got a full ride I told her I'd hold on to it until she either wants to use it for her wedding or in down payment for a house so last week and I asked for the money to buy a house and I gladly gave it to her but a few days later I got an angry call from Alex accusing me of favoritism and tell him being unfair I explained to him that I just gave her the college fund I was saving up for her which was the same amount as what I've given him for college he still thinks I should have split the money evenly so it would be more fair I have no idea how he knew about it but I think my wife their stepmom told him Ana has since told me that her brother has been calling her every now and then demanding his half of the money so both of my kids are fighting now my wife told me that I'm being a bit unfair and that the money is tearing the family apart I told her that it was always Anna's money and they already gave Alex his share to pay for his college expenses both kids are college educated with good jobs so it's not like Alex desperately needs the money so reddit's am either a whole I think that splitting the money would have been very unfair to Anna who worked hard to get her scholarship but what do you guys think edits I spent a bit over $100,000 on Alex's education because not only did I pay for his tuition fees but I also paid for his rent bills food and everything in between no Alex got way more than his own free ride through college Jesus Christ you paid for everything for that kid and now he's asking for 50 thousand on top of that talk about entitlement Alex can honestly go screw himself with a rusty nail it's honestly disgusting how much of his brain has been torn apart by money because it's obvious that the the bloody shopping center is open but no one's shopping slap Alex down to reality get him to see that it's not his money and move on to cut him out of the family if he needs to that what a bloody baby Alex no Opie you're not the a-hole Alex sucks not the a-hole in theory your son could have 100 thousand dollars to spend on his house too if he had gotten a scholarship he sounds like he's got an entitlement problem which is unfortunate because you did a lot to set him up nicely in life my mom didn't even get me a wedding presents because she couldn't afford it and I don't even care because she did a good job at raising me and providing for me it's a shame your son doesn't realize how good he has it to extend on that the son is $100,000 ahead on where he should be without having his college paid for he doesn't have that debt so any earnings now can go towards for example a house rather than student loans totally true I think it's so much easier for people to see the value and money that they can spend aka Anna receiving one hundred thousand for her house then money saved that they didn't have to spend Alex's one hundred thousand towards college because the former gives someone control and discretionary power over where the money goes so it's more than satisfying I think it's hard because some schools don't give full rights some kids just excel more in school even if they're equally as smart and obviously it's frustrating to see your sibling get a boatload of money and you feel like you didn't get the same I think I'd feel upset if I were Alex but in the end he got his money and came out debt-free and this guy is totally not the a-hole posted by user middle brother throw away 12 titles would I be the a-hole if I drove 400 miles to confront my older brother I am one of four siblings two boys and two girls we are all between thirty to forty two years old and three of us are married except for our one middle brother middle brother has always had problems in school and socially and when he got older it was being able to keep a job and pay his bills our mother would always Gill to the rest of us into taking care of our middle brother financially once we all moved away we all agreed to equally contribute so the wouldn't fall to our parents who wanted to retire our oldest brother always hated this idea and resented middle brother for being able to get away with being lazy his whole life and blames our mother for lowering the expectations for this one sibling and always calling him her sweet sensitive boy the rest of us were never able to get away with the same things the middle brother did especially older brother who had to do everything for him growing up about a year ago my sister and I stopped equally contributing to the middle brother due to financial difficulties but didn't tell our oldest brother he and his wife makes significantly more money than us and figured it wouldn't make any difference financially to them and didn't want a middle brother to get literally nothing anyway during a family zoom call our mother casually brings up that a sweet sensitive boy needs more help than he's been given from his family and it came out that the older brother is the only one paying and he blew a gasket he called us opportunists liars con artists and a lot of other things and finally said screw you people and got off the call and hasn't spoken to any of us since not even our parents he's missed two payments and to the middle brother is freaking me out my parents and I tried reaching out to his wife because middle brother will be kicked out of his apartment soon unless we pay she makes as much money as older brother if not more and can easily pay but refused she called us lazy for even asking to go against her husband like that now she stopped taking our calls we're out of options and are considering driving the three states away to confront our older brother into helping his family my own husband thinks this is a bad idea and that we should just let the middle brother sink or swim at this point before you ask middle brother was tested extensively years ago and found that he was neurological typical but it's sensitive hence my mother's nickname would I be the a-hole if I drove all the way to physically confront older brother yes you're actually worse than your enabler mother if you go after your older brother his middle brother is not his fault it's not his responsibility you're so stupid you're actually brain dead if that's what you think is gonna solve this situation you even ask the middle brother's wife if she makes enough to support herself and she said yes and that you know if she wanted to she would be able to pay all this off herself or with the middle brothers help but she would rather the older brother and you guys pay for them are we not seeing the bigger picture here are we know it's in reality obviously you're the a-hole if he drove to the brother's house you idiots and it one middle brother did have a job before all of the covert closings but it was part time and never enough for both rent and essentials too I misspoke by saying confronts I was really going there to plead for older brothers help three it turns out to be a bigger deal that I thought because unbeknownst to me all the brother had also been partly paying our parents mortgage and our other sisters student loans and is stopped as of July out of spite I guess my older brother doesn't care what happens to the rest of us as long as he and his wife are doing okay I am the a halt for lying and I accept that but not for trying to help my middle brother survive when our older brother is fully capable of helping his family just unwilling last edits I'll be honest almost 1,000 people telling me how fudging terrible me and my whole family are is both overwhelming and untrue it's not like we put a gun to our older brother's head and he fully volunteered to help our parents with a mortgage since they did pay for his college so I stand by that being 100% spiteful bullcrap as for my other brother and sister they can pay their own way I agree that it's unnecessary the last thing I'll say and I know it doesn't matter because everyone's mind is made up is that if the situation was reversed I'd be happy to help my family if I had more money than everyone else but maybe that's just me actual final edits I am the a-hole I get it my brother and his wife aren't on reddit so they hopefully won't see this knowing him he'd want to defend me because that's the type of brother he is and I know I wouldn't deserve it thanks to everyone for your truthful take even though it was hard to read I will work on composing a heartfelt apology in the hopes he will forgive all of us while day he really is a good brother you're the a-hole for stopping payments without telling your older brother I would be pretty ticked too if I was in your brother's shoes I don't think driving out to confront your older brother in person is a good idea not only because the pandemic is happening but also because you'd be turning up unannounced at his house to confront him just out of curiosity why can't your middle brother get a job and support himself you said nothing's wrong with him what does he do all day and why can't he live with your parents if he doesn't want to work mommy thinks he's sensitive and she's enlisted all of his siblings into being his enablers tough crap for him I don't know why any of you gave him money I sure wouldn't have tell mr. sensitive to get a damn job I agree I was gonna say you're the a haul for agreeing to help middle brother in the first place and letting him become financially dependent on his family for so long a little help here and there isn't a problem but you're literally paying all his bills for him that's not okay according to Opie's edits the older brother was supporting everybody paying their parents mortgage paying for virtually everything for the middle brother paying off one sister's student loans they're all grifters and the brother will be better off after cutting everyone off how insanely toxic the lights are on massive a-holes all except for the oldest brother god I love when an edit mix everything was good for the older brother for finally standing up to his family Opie said if the tables were turned they wouldn't hesitate to help their family but they had the opportunity to help their brothers yet stopped the payments for one and lied to the other gotta love those if I were in X shoes I'd gladly be and definitely be helping because everyone around knows that's a lie that gets told to guilt the other person and you're lying to yourself to make you feel above it all you're the a-hole for not telling your older brother I'm completely on his side also I would have never agreed to support a lazy-ass adults that's why he is the way he is do you all enable him he's got it good so why change your brother is totally justified posted by user snoo 7503 six titled x' am i the a hall for asking my daughter to contribute to her siblings college funds I fifty female have three children thirty female seventeen male and sixteen female my oldest has a different father from the other two and was obviously fairly groans once her siblings were born I will admit that during her teen years my oldest took on a lot of babysitting duties in the house I worked during the afternoons and evenings so she would pick the babies up from daycare and watch them until I got her Midnight's this unfortunately has led to my daughter and I having somewhat of a strained relationship as she's becoming adults she has told me that I used her as a second parents and that it caused her a lot of stress and stunted her social life during adolescence I know that I made mistakes as a mother during that time we were struggling financially and she always seemed eager to help with the babies but I shouldn't have taken advantage of her like that we've discussed it a lot in the years since and though we still have problems between us I like to think our relationship has made progress since graduating college my daughter has become a financial consultant with an excellent salary I'm incredibly proud of her and everything she's achieved as someone who myself never attended college and who has lived near the poverty line my entire life it's so rewarding to see my daughter move up in the worlds as my younger two children have been approaching college however I've been beginning to question how I'm possibly going to pay to put them through school in all likelihood they'll have to take out heavy student loans I'd like to avoid this if at all possible and we all know how damaging student debt can be to young people I approached my oldest and asked her whether she might be willing to contribute somewhat to our siblings tuition I emphasized that she could absolutely say no or we could discuss the possibility of us paying her back over a period of years I said multiple times that I was only asking because I wanted to consider all options but if she wasn't comfortable with it I would drop it and look for alternative my daughter became very upset with me she said that it was entirely inappropriate for me to ask and that the only reason I would ever consider asking is because I've always considered her a second parent rather than a child she said that my asking her for this has shown her that I've never learned from my parenting mistakes when she was a teenager but I really don't think it's the same thing like honestly she's rich she has the money I don't think it's absurd that I might ask her if she's willing to do me a favor for the sake of her siblings especially since I made it very clear I wouldn't be angry or upset if she said no thoughts edits I put this in a comment but since a couple of people have asked about either my children's father or how my oldest paid for school my oldest was put through school by her father he lives across the country and would visit occasionally when she was growing up though he never had custody he offered to pay for her schooling as a sort of apology for not being more present when she was young I don't see him but they have some amount of contact nowadays the younger two have the same father he ran off just after my youngest was born haven't heard anything from him since and I couldn't tell you where he might be right now the younger twos father just straight-up ran off you never chased him for child supports you never got anyone else to help babysits you never looked for another partner to help raise the kids with you by the looks of it it really does seem like you just offloaded all the responsibility onto your oldest child and for some reason we're supposed to feel sympathy because the oldest was put through school by her father who you refused to have a relationship with and then you know the oldest daughter says it to your face that you have not learned from your mistakes and that this is a real dick move to do I don't think there's any you know plane of existence that exists out there where you're not the a hole in this situation you're a terrible parent I'm sorry to say that's just terrible all around I understand you might have been trying your best but dear Lord it doesn't sound like you tried to make any compromise you're the a-hole you admit yourself that you took advantage of your daughter when she was younger and now have the goal to ask her to a beer parents to her siblings again she's writes you asking was extremely inappropriate I agree and I want to piggyback to comment on a particular statement that was made I just have no idea how I'm going to put the other two through college since she didn't put the first kid through college she's not really expected to do the same for our other children especially if it isn't financially possible if she truly lives near the poverty line then FA FSA will pay for them to attend Community College and have the chance to compete for scholarships at schools that provide excellent financial aid packages obviously that isn't as easy as having daddy pay for college and they might feel like they deserve to go somewhere else but that's tough toenails to be honest if they don't earn scholarships from their high school performance then Community College will give them a second chance I know this because I lived and am living it right now my parents have never been able to give me a dime towards my college education and the government says they can't be expected to help at all based on their analysis of fa FSA my pell grant paid for me to attend Community College and completely covered the costs I graduated from there after five years of on and off study took a lot of time off for work and some moving around the country with a lot of extracurricular stuff I never got to do in high school now I'm transferring to an amazing school that really is quite literally my only option financially the cheapest state school tuition would cost me twenty five thousand dollars a year in loans after scholarships and aid which is well beyond what I can afford to take out the school I was accepted to will only cost me eleven thousand per year after scholarships and aid which is well within the amount I can be loaned by the federal government directly and not have to take on predatory Sallie Mae type loans while it might not be the most ideal routes and for a long time I didn't know if I would even make it to where I am now it is completely and totally possible there are hundreds of thousands of students doing it just like I am with attention paid to what's going on and proper motivation a poor students can finish their degree in the US without taking on extreme debts the issue is that many people want to jump right into an expensive university after high school because it's the normal thing to do that mentality is what eats some people alive with debts before they've even hit the age of 20 Opie the onus is on your kids to earn their education the only thing you're expected to do if you can't financially contributes is support them as best you can and trust me that should be more than enough you're the a-hole summed up by two sentences like honestly she's rich she has the money you used her as a second parents and now want her to pay for their college so they don't have the burden of student loans and because she's rich it's not a favor to ask someone to drop tens of thousands on college for kids that they're barely related to the more I read it the more your postin attitude towards your daughter disgusts me posted by user sassy mum x3 titled am I the a-hole for publicly shaming my husband for how he treats our son my husband and I have three children together they are nine female seven female and four male for the most part my husband is a loving father and he absolutely dotes on our girls our son is another story he is very sensory sensitive and the littlest of things can set him off like a scratchy shirt tag or an extreme temperature I have tried to educate myself on sensory issues and make accommodations for him but my husband is not willing to do so he thinks that I baby him and enable his bad behavior there have been times my husband has insisted that I force our son to stay outside despite his obvious discomfort in the heat or make him take his shoes off at the beach even though sand overwhelms him both times resulted in total meltdowns last weekends we took a family trip and it was the last straw my husband had our girls in the pool and he was tossing them in they were laughing and having a good time my son was in the shallow end with just his lower legs in the water and my husband thought it would be funny to sneak up behind him and push him into the water he was wearing a life vest but the sudden feeling of his head going underwater and his hair becoming wets was too much for him he was wailing and they had to get him out of the pool he had a complete meltdown that lasted over 30 minutes I took him back to the hotel room to calm him down and my husband told me I shouldn't have done that he said that he will never toughen up and stop being a baby if I keep running to his rescue he yelled at our son for embarrassing him at the pool and refused to allow him ice cream later on with the girls I was furious at his behavior sir I got on facebook and ranted about all the times our husband has favored the girls and made our son feel unloved now his mother and sisters are mad at him and he's ticked off at me for putting our private life on Facebook am I the a-hole for publicly shaming my husband on Facebook for how he treats our son normally I would be against airing dirty laundry online especially when it could just be smaller normal things that can be you know settled privately but this is pretty much straight up abuse to the son and wouldn't that father's immediate family at least deserve to know that he is abusing his own son emotionally physically psychologically like in every way it seems like it seems like this marriage between the two or this relationship is really on the rocks and the father refuses to stop hurting his son I think it is a dick move to put it online to publicly shame him but I'm not completely against it and I do think that it needs to be called outs because maybe that will teach him faster everyone sucks yeah your son needs a therapist your husband needs a therapist and to stop bullying a four-year-old but literally blasting your family on Facebook yeah you're an a-hole to my 31 year old son is very similar sounding therapy might help but acceptance for who he is will certainly do more of course which is why I included the husband in their therapy is more important in treating sensory processing disorders especially ones that come with challenging behaviors starting young is ideal because they can work on desensitization where appropriate and his manding requesting in refusal kills a lot of these therapies also train parents so everyone would benefits RP everyone is human and we all mess up just keep doing what is best for your family I know you mean well 25 or so years ago when our son was first demonstrating these tendencies and issues there wasn't a lot of specialized therapy available raising him had its challenges but we sent looser boundaries than we might have otherwise and let him be him high school was the worst there but college was better he hit his stride at about 25 or so and now he's happy married and making a mark everyone is proud of thankfully it never once occurred to me to force him to do it my way the father sounds like an absolute jag är P please look into occupational therapy for your son an RT will teach him how to do activities of daily living with his sensory issues he definitely needs this as he goes to preschool and it would be super helpful for the schools to know what accommodations he would require also I will go against the grain here but your husband needs some education on sensory issues if this was my husband I would name and shame him too because sometimes naming and shaming is the only way to teach stubborn and ignorant people even if it is super cringe-worthy I cannot imagine a parent who is insensitive to their son's disability not the a-hole ETA for someone who is a father to three kids you should be able to find out when your kid is genuinely struggling versus when your kid is doing drama it is not possible for someone to do drama 24/7 so it is very easy to put two and two together to find out that your son actually has a problem everyone sucks here your husband is abusing a neurodivergent child and you're going to Facebook about it instead of a therapist and a divorce lawyer if your husband cannot get his crap all the way together and work on repairing the damage he's done to his relationship with his son as well as educate himself and radically change his behavior right fudging now you need to leave this definitely should be the top comments her husband is the biggest a hole here he's obviously ignorant and unaccepting overall caring more about good behavior than his son's mental health on the other hand herpes heart is in the right place but what is she getting out of airing her dirty laundry all it does is create more drama it's not going to make him change his ways she sounds like she's desperate and it sounds like this has been going on for some time she was probably hoping for some people to back her up and to show him that everyone thinks he's in the wrong pushing their son into the pool was probably the last straw Judah how monumentally dangerous it is my mom always told us to never do that she said even with floaties or a life jacket on we can break people's bones or they could hit their head am I the a-hole for wanting my wife to uphold her end of the deal so my wife and I made a deal for naming our future children for any future girls I get to name them and for any future boys she gets to name them so yesterday we found out that we're having twins and that they're going to be two beautiful girls I still want my wife to uphold her end of the deal she says that it's unfair that she gets to carry the babies for nine months and not have a say fair enough then I compromise that I get to name one of our babies while we both name the other she doesn't want to do that either I mean if we were having twin boys I'm sure that she would have not let me name them I know her personality I'm positive that she would have done that we made a deal and she isn't honoring his I do realize it's pretty small but I still want her to honor my compromise which she isn't doing so am I the a-hole this seems like one of those small arguments that can just snowball out of control I'd say from the outside looking in on the surface it's just everyone sucks you're in this situation and you guys should just figure it out I think you're both a-holes for being as staunch as you are on both of your points I think a good middle ground would be one parent names one baby one parent names the other she's got just as much as say in this situation as you please don't let this be the hill you die on not at the start of these babies lives please everyone sucks er this is such a stupid deal for parents to make name your kids together like normal people better start learning to work together that's how good parenting works being a united front what's more important to you being rights or being happy I left and came back because I have to tell you this one time I was driving back from the coast with my children in the back seats we were in the middle of nowhere no cell service no radio they were bickering as kids do and I told the oldest look you can be right or you can be happy right then the radio kicks on and says yeah I'd rather nuts and then kicks right back off we laughed so hard now every time you hear the phrase I think and I'd rather not it's clearly the ghost of someone that compromised and it didn't end well for them everyone sucks yeah are y'all sure you're mature enough to have children in my opinion it doesn't sound like they are anyone can have children unfortunately hopefully these two grow up a bit so while raising them everyone sucks here y'all are in for a bumpy ride parenting wise if you're having this big of an issue with just names yeah you guys know you're gonna have to raise them after this rights agreed that everyone sucks posted by user grandma Rosie tattled am I the a-hole for pressing charges against my son sir my son who's 28 was visiting us for a couple of days and was at my house alone babysitting my daughter's kid according to my son the other day my four year old granddaughter which was his niece pulled down the TV in brackets my son told us that he took the TV to the dump as it was shattered and useless my daughter and son-in-law my four year old granddaughters parents felt bad for what had happened and paid the cost of the TV that day my husband was watching our security cameras and our son's story doesn't hold up we never see our granddaughter breaking the TV all that we see is our son taking away the TV that is not shattered we asked our son about this and he said that the security camera must have cut out the part that shows our granddaughter breaking the TV eventually I got a call from my son's girlfriends that lives with him she said that she knew what was going on and felt guilty she basically told us that our son had made up the story about the TV breaking and stole it and took it to their house to watch I filed the police reports and his girlfriend led the police into their house to get us our TV back we do plan on pressing charges against him he stole our TV and made my daughter pay for it that is messed up on so many levels am I the a-hole for pressing charges I guess the reason therapy may be asking the question is because a lot of people just let it go and they just punish the son on a personal level which you know you can't blame some families for because situations are different to this but this is just cut and dry stealing a TV and covering it up and blaming a kid on it that's completely unacceptable and I think like he's not gonna get huge felon charges and be chucked in jail for a few years is he I think he deserves to have a report filed against him to stop this behavior and maybe he'll learn his lesson and the girlfriend will leave him because he deserves that that's disgusting I repeat not the a-hole at all if you don't press charges he'll think you can get away with stuff like this not cool frankly you're not only not the a-hole you absolutely did the right thing and should be praised for its I'm glad his girlfriend had the integrity to come clean if it's his first offense he can plead down to a misdemeanor and get some community service and hopefully learn his lesson before he does something that gets him in years behind bars yeah how could you be the a hole in this situation he's an adult and you can't punish him like a child he needs to have adult consequences you would think that it would be that easy to see that Opie isn't but my ex-mother-in-law was the type to think that anyone who would have their son parent or significant other arrested would be an a-hole even if they absolutely deserved it some people have a very disturbed viewpoint on what loyalty means it strongly depends on culture in Latin cultures most of the people wouldn't press charges at all and it's the norm you handle family issues on the inside that's interesting my mother-in-law is definitely not Latin and neither are the other people I know who think this way so I do believe it's prevalent in lots of cultures can I ask you what does handling it on the inside and tail in your family what would the parents have done in this scenario it would most likely break into fist fights between siblings a lot of crying regrets apologies and forgiveness I should mention where I live it's not rare to have children living on the house even up to 40 or for life family comes first always not the a-hole I usually don't agree with involving the police and family disputes but in this case it was warranted he blatantly lied about and to a child forced the hand of your daughter to pay for the replacement cost of the TV and stole the TV if confronted the situation could have escalated so filing the police report was the right thing to do what I'm wondering is what his long game was like you would come over to his place see your old TV and not notice yeah the whole situation seems pretty weird and poorly thought through I'm wondering if there's something more going on with the son like he's an addict or having some mental health issues well maybe he's just an idiot's in any case if I were Opie I'd do some checking in on him I agree with froggies it's sort of a hallmark trait of stupid people to not have that much four thoughts posted by user ok responsibility 8 9 5 3 titled am I the a-hole for giving my kids chocolate and milk so my kid's dad always wants to talk about the way I raise my kids even though he's hardly ever around he's a deadbeat and only comes around when it's convenient for him anyways I've always given them chocolate milk they drink water and juice too but before bed and with breakfast they'd like chocolate milk so that's what we've done they teeth are absolutely fine as they go to the dentist every six months and they don't have any cavities at all so why would I stop something they love if it's doing them no harm well anyways my children went to visit him for the first time in months and they wanted milk and he told them that he doesn't buy that stuff at his house and they could have kool-aid while they were there my daughter came home with a stomachache and when I asked him if all they drank was kool-aid while they were there he snapped at me and told me that I was spoiling the kids by giving them the most expensive drink and that there was way more sugar in the chocolate milk then in the kool-aid that he gave them I don't think it's doing them any harm at all am I the a hole at its the cup in the morning at breakfast is half white half chocolates and the one at night is only half a cup of chocolates and they brush their teeth right after they usually drink their milk while we watch a movie or read before bed I just remember getting yelled out as a kid if we drank coca-cola or any red cordial drinks sugars just really bad for your teeth it really doesn't matter both of the parents in this situation are giving their kids drinks that are going to have an effect on their teeth right whether they like it or not so if we're gonna put it on that basis both of them suckier because they're both just as bad as each other and they're just flinging feces at each other about oh you're doing worse now you're doing worse mine cost less no you I hate you so what I get out of my incessant rambling is that everyone sucks here and that they should probably just cut down the sugar a lot to save the kids teeth and gum health also flossing ain't half bad either everyone sucks here allow me to channel my mother here for a moment that is too much sugar seriously both chocolate milk and kool-aid should both be occasional treats not daily staples exactly people think chocolate milk is healthy but it's packed with sugar as well a treat not as stable actually chocolate milk can be quite good for you yes it has sugars in its but most of an outside of the chocolates comes naturally from lactose which the body breaks down into glucose and used for energy milk is also full of protein and vitamin d which contribute to bone and muscle health I tell my athletes to drink chocolate milk if they can't get a whole food source of 30 minutes after workouts kids are burning everything like crazy so if they have a well-balanced diet with a little added sugar having chocolate milk twice a day isn't going to impact their health negatively this is if it's the only added sugar they are eating which I'm sure isn't the case er the juice is far worse than the chocolate milk anyway not the a-hole anyone that objects to chocolate milk and offers kool-aid as a better alternative is a knob but it's sugar right before bed really something you want to do it's only half a cup and it's right before they brushed their teeth not a big deal like I said not the a-hole PS I didn't even know kool-aid was a thing anymore it just disappeared didn't it just just went away not the a-hole all that milk is spoiling a kid icons look kool-aid even watered down is a horrible thing for a kid to drink do you guys have custody orders or are you just letting him play dad at his convenience if no orders are in place I would let him know that as the sole custodian and parent for your children you will decide what's appropriate for them to have at your house we have an order but he skips his visits all the time occasionally he decides to follow it's it's a pain really because I have to have them ready on Friday for him to not show I'd take him to court to have the orders revised honestly custody arrangements are for the best interest of the child and this is not their best interest it's debilitating for a child to wait around for a parent that never shows my husband said the same thing about his mom sometimes she would show sometimes not he said he couldn't make plans with friends because he never knew if this was going to be the weekend she would show up posted by user Confucius 1 2 3 4 titles am I the a-hole for convincing my parents to make my sister finish high school throw away because this will be obvious on my personal I male 17 live with my sister female 16 and my mom and dad very recently my sister has gained about 20,000 followers or so on tick tock and is managed to gain a few sponsorships equivalent to around 500 bucks this of course made all four of us extremely proud of her however because of this my sister has floated with the possibility of quitting high school to focus on tick tock and social media full-time my mom and dad both actually wants her to do so because they've heard about the millions people can make of course this made her extremely happy because she'd quit high school to do something she likes but any sensible person I think would say this is a terrible idea I couldn't let this happen so I sat down with my mom and dad and showed her a bunch of statistics on how hard it is to really make a living off of social media which thankfully changed their minds I feel kind of bad because I may have robbed her of some happiness but I have no clue I think lots of people have lots of different judgments on a topic like this personally I think it is a great idea to finish high school so you still have something to fall back on whenever anyone pursues a career in anything it is always great to have something to fall back on and if she doesn't have that high school degree and she wants to get a job somewhere or as she wants to study at university she's gonna have to take a few years out of her life to go roundabouts and finish all those when she could just do it now while also focusing on tick tock if she'd like and if tick tock falls through at least she didn't deviate from that path and have to spend a few years catching up that's usually what people do and it's usually a very straightforward thing obviously there's some that get immediate amazing success just jump straight out of high school and all of a sudden they're on a bloody Disney show or something like that I'm looking at you Levi Miller you lucky bastard you got that role as Peter Pan in 2015 and I'm so proud I had to finish high school while you just like I'm done I'm out of here yeah look at me Marky come on a school with someone famous haha not the a-hole this was a very poor decision on her part to not finish high school to focus on social media if something goes wrong with tick tock she's out of luck you're not a bad person for doing this because you care for her it just got freaking banned in my country smiley face looking at you India not the a-hole twenty thousand followers and five hundred dollars isn't enough to justify dropping out of school like no offense but this is really like chicken change also with a lot of influences you might need to spend a lot of money on things and a job is normally required for that it's hard to find a job without a diploma so unless the parents want to finance a lot of things she has to finish her high school I see you pro beer and B exactly create a YouTube account and start reading reddit M either a whole stories and you'll have those followers in a few weeks more like two years not the a-hole even if this social media thing works out for her a high school education is the minimum of what you should do or at least get her GED social media fame most likely won't last forever even if it gets big for a while people will move on to the next thing she should at least get in high school education crap she should go to college and take classes in social media and business management this people act like being the social media personality isn't a big job she needs to finish high school go to college and get a marketing or business degree at least be able to run your own business use that money to improve yourself it's only a job if it actually pays the bills I'd be worried about not having health insurance but I guess the sister in the story will be able to stay on her parents for a bit longer also I'm now wondering if social media personalities and influences report their earnings on their taxes yes they do they have to or else the taxman comes at you with a big bill and possibly a jail sentence and I'm not sure if you do need to get a marketing or business degree I mean it for sure it does help but I don't think it's necessary posted by user internal captain ko J titles am I the a-hole for taking away the car my brother paid half for I'm a 21 year old female and my brother is 17 we'll call him be the shared car between be and I broke down likely broken because someone was revving the engine too hard and too often B admits to trying to race in it it drove perfectly fine before covered where I was mostly the only driver then B took it out over the next three months and when I tried to drive it again I realized how messed up it was he gets off with no consequences there's a spare car for him to use and he doesn't want it I declared that I'm buying a car for myself my parents don't believe I'll find anything worth buying they ignore my whole searching process B being a teenage boy is extremely excited at the prospect of a new car he knows it more about cars so I enlist him to help me we come across a good deal B isn't allowed to buy a car as per my parents rule since he's too young and has no major requirements for a car of his own my parents believe that if they let him buy a car then he has free range to use it which is fair they don't want him kicking around and causing trouble or racing it's agreed that if this prospective car is suitable I buy the car however I'm female guys tends to not get ripped off as much so be contacts the seller and deals sets up a time to check out the car we check out the car and it's just about everything I'm looking for everything is in great condition very good price parents is stunned and we finalize the deal be swoops in and pays half I pay the other half our original agreements didn't occur to me at the moment I tell him if I move out or decide that I need the car I'll pay him back his half and he agrees my credit card has a limit so dad uses his card to pay insurance pulls out money from B's bank accounts doesn't listen when I tell him to take money from my account now since the insurance money came from B's accounts he owns more than half the car it's been two days and B has already taken the car out to the local high school race spots no proof that he's actually raced with it yet but he keeps insisting that we add racing mods and whatnot to the car we specifically agreed against this and he's not even supposed to be allowed to own a car I'm ticked my parents want nothing to do with it they've since ignored their know buying your own car before 20 rule even though myself and my older brother have suffered through that I offered a payback the amount B has paid plus some for contacting the seller B yells at me to get out of his room for even considering it parents say I'm the a-hole for trying to take the car away from him all the brother says I'm not since B is the one who broke the shared car in the first place you know what this is just a learn from your mistake situation here and when you slipped up Oh P is when you let him pay half of the car during that transaction I don't know what happens there you kind of just put it in and you didn't give us an explanation and then things just got Messier and more money ended up not being yours to pay for insurance it's a really messy situation I'd say because of all these mistakes everyone sucks here and that you know I think you know what you have to do to solve this situation you're gonna have to be an a-hole to take the car off your brother he loves racing and he can do that on his own dime when he's 18 and he can afford his own car without your parents you know getting in the way of it all everyone sucks yeah but I have so many questions one why would you let him go half C's if you have the whole amounts to why would your parents not bother about the young boy can't buy rule when he paid three that rule about girls getting ripped off you're 21 don't fall for this BS women have bought cars in their own without getting ripped off and survived shocked Pikachu phase one everyone was so excited about the new car and I was so used to the idea that I'd have to share a car with him that I didn't question it at the time it's obviously this dumb moment that got me into this situation too he's pretty much weaseled his way out of each of the rules that my parents have sense at this point I don't think they even realize I told them but they don't seem to care three well I don't disagree with you it was a fail-safe if my brother hadn't contacted the seller I would have made a male friends do it for me because it does happen and it happens often especially where I live it's like how walking around by yourself at night doesn't mean you're gonna get automatically jumped but you can choose to avoid the risk as a woman also women get ripped off more than they realize but don't always know any better I've had dealers or sellers tell me something and then tell something separate to my brother when we go separately who was also a mechanic one even straight-up lied to me and when I confronted him about it said I must have been mistaken or remembered wrong so it's not something that happens to every woman but it is typically very easy to immediately tell if someone doesn't know much everyone sucks here your brother sounds like a little crap and your parent sounds like little craps too you know he broke the first car you know your parents won't allow him to have a car so he'd only use this new car for the same thing he did to break it last so why on earth would you allow him to pay for half of the car when you knew full well you'd only have a repeat of last time you brought this on yourself he rinse off the car so you're the a-hole if you take it away from him without buying him out posted by user four five four six Lego titles am I the a-hole for refusing to pay for my homophobic dad's medical bills throw away because my friends know me on reddit's up to you if you want to believe me not my business I got kicked out when I came out as gay in my senior year of high school I had to support myself there were days where I 28 would barely eat I had nowhere to go my extended family is not from the US we are alone here I would never ever forget those disgusting words they said to my face on my way out they made me suffer I even thought of the unthinkable these freaks didn't even bother to check up on me not even a sliver of remorse I managed to pull myself together put myself through college without their help and I now have a high paying job as I approach my late twenties I've never heard from them until I received a call from my mum who begged for it from someone in my Facebook friends list she was crying hysterical that my father could die and they don't have enough money for treatments I said to her why not ask my straight homophobic brother 32 for money if he can't afford it's better pray for a miracle you don't want to take any help from the devil remember I've never thought about them for almost a decade and they suddenly come begging the nerve I was filled with rage after hanging up everything bad that happened to me after being made homeless it all came rushing back they chose their religion over me and in doing that they effectively killed their son the son loved them and begged for their love is dead and he will never come back I'm filled with anger even as I type this am I the a-hole for returning everything they've done to me I'm gonna go with Naru you're not the a-hole at all that's disgusting that your family would just leave you to be homeless like that and I cannot blame you for the angry as you are and being filled with rage I do think that you may need help letting go of that rage in time it's not something that does just go away it kind of just fades but it's always gonna be there but in regards to your father we have no obligation to pay for his surgery for his treatments you have no obligation to your family and you need to just cut them off again they they managed to get into your life just cut off that Avenue they don't deserve your money they don't deserve anything from you at this points and you keep doing UOP not the a-hole give the money to a homeless trans person and pay it forward they kicked you out they don't want anything to do with you way more people more deserving need that money especially right now thank you I might just do that to feel better simmer down from the seething anger and help someone who was as helpless as I was this would be a beautiful outlet for its bring good from there hates not the a-hole or P be proud of yourself for making it this far without their help they don't deserve you or your money and help they never bothered to think about you only when it was convenient for them well now you don't have to think about them either just continue to live your life the best way you can help those who are in situations like you and support those who deserve it congratulations Oh P you are a better person than any of these people claim to be not the a-hole people can't treat others like crap than expect pity when things get bad doesn't matter who they are don't let this stir up bad memories and put you in a bad headspace yeah but family oh not the a-hole if they didn't try to contact you all this time they don't care about you they just wants your money side notes I'm sorry you had to deal with that I'm glad you found a way to get past it's just keep doing you and know you want to learn out there posted by user snoo ninety nine thirty three two titles am I the a-hole for not telling my parents how to read my diary I am 15 female and I have a diary and to prevent my older sister from reading it's created a new alphabet to make it even harder to do code it's not just the Latin alphabet that looks differently I made some sounds like you yosh etc as one letter like there in Cyrillic alphabet Russian Bulgarian kisaki etc use in their languages well my parents were snooping in my room and found my diary and a demanding I tell them how to decode it so they can read it they are saying that I need to share this with them and I can't have secrets from them and I'm under their roof I eventually got sick of it and told them to freak off they sent me to my room and I'm here they are trying to decode my diary which I doubt they will but Frick this sucks edits I'm making this post hopefully this can knock some sense into my parents I'd say you're not the a-hole for keeping your secrets a diary is a diary for obvious reasons and I wonder why they're doing it and also being so forward with you kind of toxic not gonna like kind of toxic parenting there and I would just store that diary somewhere else somewhere that they'll never think to look and keep it away from them it's not their property they don't deserve it's not the a-hole parents who forced their way into their teens Diaries a crappy parents full stop reading your teenage kids Diaries is a violation of trust they can basically expect you to never trust them as an adults and to have a distant and likely crappy relationship with them they are wrong and there is no other side to this my mum did crap like this and we don't really talk anymore because the boundary violations kept happening once I moved out not the a-hole opie once you move out remember that you can choose your own family yep my mother is no ZAF she has no concept of anyone's rights to privacy except her own she nearly had an apoplexy when I said something about her tubal ligation I didn't know it was a super-secret thing yet she has no problem with snooping around in my space she would plan to visit from out of states and arrive before I got home from work so she could have the opportunity to snoop she does not have a key to my place anymore I am very low contact with her and she knows next to nothing about life intrusive parents are setting themselves up for no relationship with their adult children absolutely constantly barging in will get you quickly budged right out mine too I went to no contact with my mother for a while after a ton of relatives assured me that she changed basically that she had quit the drugs and wasn't being abusive anymore I invited her to my apartments to meet my boyfriend now husband she excused herself to go to the bathroom and was gone a long time I went into my room and she was digging through my dresser clothes were all over the floor books were opened like she was trying to see if something was hidden in there etc I immediately kicked her out and had nothing to do with her after that it was the most mortifying thing I have ever experienced not the a hole I can't even imagine doing this to my daughter I want her to know that she has the option of coming to me or her father with problems not that if she doesn't we will invade her privacy posted by user RA throw sixty nine titled a my the a halt for photoshopping my sister's tattoo out of our wedding photo recently I got married and due to obvious reasons it was a small family wedding outside we didn't hire a professional photographer so I wound up taking on the bulk of photo editing my sister who was my maid of honor has a tattoo on her arm of the two godparents from Fairly OddParents sixty-nining she has many other tattoos that are more normal but this one is super weird and I didn't want it in my wedding photos I previously asked her to cover it up but she refused to so I photoshopped it out I didn't photoshop her other tattoos outs because they weren't disturbing she says this was disrespectful and uptight of me but I think it's okay not to want that tattoo in your wedding pictures there's a reason that things are not safe for work buddy cover it up that's not okay why does she think that's an okay thing to have out at a wedding the wedding is not the place for it I understand that but if kids who don't want to see it if you don't want kids seeing it it's not appropriate for official events like this Opie you're not the a-hole are his stand by that I certainly would be mortified if someone was so steadfast on having that I'd be like do I even want you at the wedding if you're gonna do this not gonna lie your wedding your rules not the a-hole I was ready to call you the a-hole until I read the description of her tattoos you're not an a-hole for not wanting a graphic depiction of cartoon sex in your wedding pictures my exact thought process as I was reading title yes a hole has a tattoo on her arm of the two godparents from Fairly OddParents okay that's a weird tattoo perhaps a little immature looking but not harmful and still the a hole for photoshopping it's sixty-nining what the hell not the a hole yup went from of course your the a hole to not the a hole in record time not the a hole but this is hysterical I don't think any of us want to see Cosmo and Wanda like that I just like to know the thought process that made this the answer to you know what I'd love to have on my arm for the rest of my life exact same how did this come about was my second thought after what the hell actually third thoughts not only how did this happen but how has she become so emotionally attached to it that it couldn't be photoshopped outs and the fact that she wasn't willing to cover it up when asked to there's got to be some sentimental value behind it somehow ah my dead grandmother drew that for me on her deathbed Oh what's wrong with you people call me a prude but making sexual cartoons of a children's cartoon is creepy alright now I think that's where we're gonna leave today's episode guys I really do hope you enjoyed the content today if you guys loved watching it as much as I loved making it I would love for you to subscribe to the channel already if you haven't tell me what you thought of it down in the comments below maybe you liked the video who knows I'd also like to take this time to thank my awesome patreon and channel members without you guys you know I don't know what I'd do I'd probably be homeless on the streets of Ireland crying Irish dancing all over town it would just be a mess but now for real you guys are up on the screen now thank each and every one of you guys and if you personally want to join the club yourself there are links down in the description below there's also the join button next to the subscribe button small monthly fee but hey it goes a long way to help me create more awesome content with that said guys I hope you do have a lovely day night sleep evening day at work day at school whatever you're up to I hope you keep awesome today you're looking amazing and I will see you in the next video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 27,235

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: oIL2sWkvJwE

Length: 159min 57sec (9597 seconds)

Published: Sun Jul 12 2020