r/AmiTheA**Hole For INTENTIONALLY Backing Out Of An Organ Transplant?

good day there guys thanks eating 20 nuggets is a personality trait back at it again with another episode of r slash am i the a-hole now if you love me like i love you i want you to sit back relax chuck a prawn on the barbie a like on the video and enjoy today's bloody good content posted by user live a dilemma 2019 titled am i the a-hole for not donating my liver due to a lawsuit and then the person died my 24 male partners 23 female close friend and boss 50s male at the mechanic shop needed a liver transplant they had been on the list for a while and getting nowhere lots of us got tested and i was a match we were all happy and thrilled that this donation could take place a week before the surgery date police showed up at our house to arrest my partner as her boss the person who was getting a piece of my liver had accused her of theft claimed she had stolen thousands from his bank account and stolen from the cash box the police showed us the cctv in which she reaches into the box takes money and walks out of frame 15 times 15 days 15 accusations the police admitted they had no proof it was theft and no clue on the amounts taken as she used the box to take customers money and change the police also said they didn't see how she accessed their bank accounts and that they felt this was some sort of insurance fraud and they needed a scapegoat i immediately rang the hospital and my transplant coordinator and backed out of the surgery we got on with our lives partner found a new job and attended the court date where the case was thrown out six months later a week after the case was dismissed we got word boss had died no one else had been a match or willing to get tested after news got out and they never found a match in the transplant system in time i feel so guilty i allowed someone to die pretty much murdered them i let pettiness get in the way of saving a life partner and friends feel i did the right thing none of this is on me and not giving a piece of me to the person possibly putting my partner in prison for a long time a week before surgery is my choice and the right choice boss's friends and family have been ringing non-stop harassing us at our jobs and posting online a lot how i'm a murderer and killed boss that i should have given the liver anyway and been a good person i feel i should have given it but who bites the hand that feeds i didn't want to get cut open risk dying and other complications for someone who didn't care for me and mine but now someone is dead from something i could have prevented i'm conflicted and losing sleep over this am i the a-hole for not giving my liver to the person accusing my partner of theft and then later dying edits thank you for all the positive and informative feedback i think seeing the outside impartial view on this has helped me put it in perspective i've only been focusing on my selfishness causing his death as opposed to his actions contributing to i'll be getting some counselling as suggested to help deal with the constant what-ifs in my brain and to help me move past this and to stop shouldering the burden edits well this blew up thanks for the awards and positive vibes everyone much appreciated just clearing up a few things my girlfriend didn't steal she was just doing her job getting changed into paying invoices the wife who admitted to stealing later simply used footage of her accessing the cash box to try to make it seem like she stole i didn't state she was innocent as it's innocent until proven guilty and she wasn't found guilty so my mistake it's been pointed out that with boss someone well perhaps it wasn't him doing this but his wife that's a great point i never considered and now makes me feel even more guilty i should have checked we're in the uk so i guess our legal system works differently to the states in that i didn't have to pay a bail just simply take her home and take her to the court dates this could be why the policeman told us straight up that it seemed like bull and were very candid and kind to us they even bought us lunch when one went to subway also as said the surgery would have probably been cancelled anyway as i did have another welfare check or two scheduled for that week with the transplant team at the hospital and i was hugely stressed out my work gave me that week and the following off anyway for being such a good sport thanks for the dms calling me a murderer appreciated i'm gonna go with not the a-hole i mean all this extra info comes to light but you know if it is in fact the wife's doing at the end of the day the blood is on her hands not ops that's my opinion you can take it with a grain of salt if you'd like i don't feel like opie is responsible for their death you know they went through the entire system they looked for other donors opie had the chance to give them the liver through surgery and then their partner was threatened i would pull out too you know very serious accusations against them what are you gonna still support the life of someone giving you serious accusations against your partner it's not a world that i want to live in sounds grim but i'm willing to bet a lot of people would be the same way this situation is just a ton of mishaps one after the other but ultimately i feel like opie is not the a-hole you don't owe anybody your organs the boss did not care about your family he didn't try to get your partner's side of the story before calling the police report them for harassment if they keep pestering you hypothetically even if your partner was stealing the boss should have let it go a transplant is priceless the phrase don't bite the hand that feeds seems very applicable here what do they expect would happen oh yeah i know you had my girlfriend arrested anyway let's go do this super dangerous surgery to make sure that you can keep screwing people over you are not the a-hole her boss had put your partner's life and freedom in jeopardy at the same time as you were arranging to help extend his now if the accusations were founded you would still be not the a-hole but it would be more of a no a-holes here scenario if you feel bad go donate blood save other lives thank you i donate blood regularly as i have a rarer blood type anyway and she's not that sort she was working there to pay for school and she insisted we both get tested before we were even asked to then you really need to cut yourself some slack you didn't do a single thing wrong posted by user i love pizza 32 titled am i the a-hole for siding with my brothers and sister-in-law over my parents so my brother and my sister-in-law have been married for six years i love them both dearly they adopted a little girl about a year ago my parents were happy about this too at first they got really angry when my brother and sister-in-law announced recently that their daughter would be their only child and they do not want biological kids my mum and dad lost their crap they told my brother he had to get my sister-in-law pregnant he was the family's male heir and he would have to have a biological son to carry forward the family name this makes no sense to me nor my brother and sister-in-law it's not as if we're a family of european royalty who gives a frick about the family name in this day and age well my parents do apparently they've been berating my brother and guilt-tripping my sister-in-law making her feel like she's taking something away from our family on one occasion they actually suggested that my brother leave my sister-in-law if she didn't want to get pregnant and have a son with another woman what's even worse is that they've stopped paying attention to my niece earlier they would call and talk to her almost every day but ever since they were told about my brother and sister-in-law's decision they've stopped calling her this pees me off and just deeply saddened my brother and sister-in-law the child is three years old and doesn't deserve this kind of treatment yesterday when i called my brother he seemed very upset he told me that mum and dad had called him and they had talked about something unrelated when he asked if they wanted to talk to their granddaughter they said they'd talk to their real grandchild when my brother came to his senses and decided to give them one i was angrier than i've been in a long time i called my parents and unloaded on them i told them how selfish and cruel they were being and how dare they take out their anger on my niece along with a lot of other things that i can't even remember my mother started crying as she's not used to being yelled at i understand that yelling at them may have been a bit much but i just can't believe how awful they're being towards a kid so am i the a-hole or are they edits some people have been wondering how my parents would act when i have kids no need to worry about that since i won't be having any i made this clear to my parents years ago and yes they threw a fit over this yeah no you're not forced to have biological kids if you don't want to have them it's perfectly a-okay to just have adopted kids or one adopted kid there's genuinely nothing wrong with that don't know why they're carrying these archaic views about ah the bloodline's important we gotta get the bloodline so many people carry those views i genuinely don't understand it it holds no weight your family could be wiped out by a tsunami tomorrow your family could be wiped out by some huge virus that takes over the world hint hints the bloodline won't continue after that but people will you're trying to control something that you think is in your control but it's not there's not a lot that's actually in your control stupid parents opie not the a-hole your parents can be disappointed that they don't have a biological grandchild but you are absolutely right to call them out on how cruel they're being to your niece what if your brother or sister-in-law weren't physically able to have children i wonder if your parents would have thrown a fit about carrying on the family name then either way they need to come to terms with their disappointments and stop taking it out by being so mean to everyone especially their granddaughter it's horrible how they're treating the grandchild that they do have and also that they see opie's sister-in-law as some kind of child vessel treating her as if her only purpose is to bear their grandchildren it makes me wonder what they're going to do if opi has a kid will they be extremely overbearing to that child and ignore their adopted grandchild honestly they're going to create a huge rift in the family forever and they could very well lose the privilege to see any of the kids or grandkids not the a-hole posted by user collette 195 titled am i the a-hole for telling my relatives how much i make and defending my salary over the weekend i 23 female went to dinner with some of my dad's relatives who i don't see very often my dad has never gotten along with my uncle his brother and i haven't either he's rude condescending and we don't agree with him on a lot of things normally i just try to ignore him however at dinner my uncle asked me about my car that i'd shown up in and my new job i started my job a little over a year ago after graduating college and i worked hard for it i make a lot of money and i'm proud of that software engineer i recently bought myself my dream car that i've always wanted uncle asked how much they paying you anyway in a condescending tone and i just point blank told him how much i make i guess i was supposed to laugh and say something like oh enough but i told him the number he started going off on a rant about how no 23 year old should make that much money and how stupid my company is for paying me that much i got ticked and said i deserve every penny i make i work hard and most people can't do what i do well i guess this really made my uncle angry because after dinner i received a text from my cousin saying i'd been really rude at dinner and insulted my uncle's intelligence my dad sided with me since he hates my uncle anyway but my sister agreed with my cousin and said i shouldn't have said how much money i make or talk to my uncle the way i did because it was impolite am i the a-hall edits wow i didn't expect for this to blow up thanks for the responses everyone i feel justified in how i reacted now for more info on my uncle he's a retired airline pilot so i don't think he's even jealous and bitter about how much i make he's just a jerk i think this is just one of those mistakes a lot of people have when they're young you like to talk about how much money you make or how much you don't make and we just like to throw out numbers there sometimes and i understand that it's a lesson you have to learn you've got to make mistakes and this guy took it the wrong way you don't just chuck your salary out there all the time especially with someone you don't know how they're going to react rp came from good faith i'd like to believe was their intention there and the uncle took it the wrong way so opie's not the a-hole everyone else is besides the father he seems like a cool guy not the a-hole he asked you a question you answered he insulted you and you defended yourself don't dish it out if you can't take it as my motto exactly she didn't even insult him she said most people can't do what she does which isn't targeting him and so what if he can't code bruises his very small ego my guess is he's at a dead end job so anything and anyone is a threat to him so he's actually a retired airline pilot which he has always been kind of a jerk about i always compare it to jake peralta's dad in brooklyn 99 but he also has five adult children and two ex-wives all of whom i think he still supports at least somewhat financially if he got his bruised ego by your salary then his entire worth lies with his paycheck that came from the job a lot of people can study to become pilots but only a handful can code not the a-hole typical boomer bullcrap you work hard and have skills the companies are willing to pay that much for good for you it's not like you were rubbing it in his face either he was pushing the topic this just reeks of jealousy pettiness and insecurities of your uncle he was being rude not you not the a-hole he's just jealous of how late in life he got the same salary if he ever has this whole it's rude to talk about your salary bs is just a way for companies to underpay some people in a department in my opinion if everyone knows what the people around them are paid for the same job and experience they'd have to be paid equal wow thanks for the replies everyone i asked here because only my dad seemed to think that what i said was okay and he's not exactly an unbiased party since as mentioned he can't stand my uncle i've always heard it's rude to talk about your salary too which is why i wondered if what i said was crossing a line but now that i've read in multiple comments it's actually a tactic employers use to keep employees in the dark i don't feel bad about saying the number and i don't feel bad about defending myself either posted by user floto mofo titled am i the a-hole for refusing to rsvp to my sister's wedding because i'm required to write an application essay just to attend yeah i know this sounds insane but i'm living in it so my sister is getting married next february destination wedding no less i have doubts whether this wedding is actually going to happen with the pandemic and everything but she's totally set on moving forward anyways because of the pandemic her original venue has made her cut down on guests because they're cutting capacity by half as a result she's sending out re invites that ask everyone to rsvp again but in order to figure out who to invite and two to cut she's asking all confirmed guests to submit two 250 word essays to two questions the gist is that they'll use these essays to choose who can come or not based on people's enthusiasm people who don't write the essays at all will be automatically i just feel really insulted by all of this the questions aren't even pandemic related it's broad topics like why do you still want to celebrate this day with us and what will attending our wedding mean to you specifically so she's blatantly looking for people to kiss us and tell her why they really want to go anyways i told her in advance that i'm not writing 500 words and why i need to attend her wedding spend my own money on plane tickets and hotels and buy her a present this has really rubbed her and my parents the wrong way she said that to keep things fair if i don't fill out the rsvp correctly i won't be saved a spot i said fine with me then my parents said if i don't show up i'm going to be in big fudging trouble with all our relatives so just write the essays am i the a-hole if i stay stubborn on this i'm already annoyed at the thought of spending thousands and coming home to quarantine but i will not belt out 500 words on how this is totally my choice am i the a-hole edit i'm 27 female i don't live with family but she is my only sister added two sister has framed these essays as surveys but there's a word limit requirement so if you don't reach it on the google forms you can't even submit parents seem to think this is perfectly reasonable nice even because sister is letting everyone have the chance to attend no i think this is a load of horse crap i think that the sister shouldn't have to go if she doesn't want to shouldn't have to be forced to do this bloody 500 word essay if she doesn't want to i feel like this entire family is disillusioned with this stupid essay coming into the mix what why is this a thing why do you have to put it on them to choose if they come or not man up and you pick the list of people you want to go the sister is spineless she's absolutely spineless plus the plane tickets and hotels stay and then quarantine again it just puts everyone in such a bad spot in february while we already don't have a lot of money during this time i think the sister is honestly living in fantasyland she needs a you know nice slice of humble pie it doesn't really seem like the time of place in my mind opie not the a-hole not the a-hole i would definitely send in two essays the first would say mom and dad said i have to come or i'm in big trouble over and over again until you hit 250. the second i'm your sibling that is some wonderful and slightly malicious compliance i love it the pettiest of compliance and i love it opie you're not the a-hole and please do this it's one thing for your sister to ask friends or extended family to do this but immediate family should be automatically invited this is ridiculous it's ridiculous to ask anyone to do this you invite people to your wedding because you want to share your important moments with them not the other way around frankly anyone who spends time out of their day to write an essay begging for the privilege of a wedding invitation is a giant doormat not the a-hole and i hope no one writes the essay so she can see how ridiculous she's being i wonder how it is that neither the sister the fiance nor the parents have realized that she's publicly humiliating them by being a lunatic unless everyone she knows took the same crazy pill she did most people aren't going to ride it and she's going to be a laughingstock for the rest of time anyone who has planned a wedding or been close to someone planning a wedding knows that it's hard af to get people to rsvp on time that's why they put the rsvp date anywhere between a week and a month before they actually need final numbers and that's usually a tick box 500 words from every friend and family member just isn't going to happen at all posted by user throwaway ta titled am i the a-hall for hiding my gender last month i befriended a guy i met through a game on ps4 it's a team-based game and we work very well together which makes it very fun from the start i felt that he assumed i'm a dude but i didn't care we got along well he wasn't toxic or rude and we even swapped numbers fyi i don't use voice chat so he never heard my voice also i have a unisex name think charlie so i guess that didn't help when we text we mostly talk about games or similar stuff but sometimes you would tell me personal things for example being rejected by a girl or something like that i just said that sucks sorry about that etc then we'd go back to talking about our interests he was a lot more open than i was yesterday we texted and i told him that i wouldn't be available this weekend he asked me what i'm doing and i told him that i'm doing something with my boyfriend he asked me if i'm gay i told him that i'm a straight girl wow he freaked out big time he started calling me a liar and a manipulative [ __ ] he said that i purposely hid my gender from him and that i'm full of crap he said that i only mentioned my boyfriend because i'm a cruel selfish and that i'm the reason nobody respects women lol he really said this i was seriously shocked and told him that he has fudging problems he sent me this very long text accusing me of being unethical and predatory he genuinely believes i tricked him into thinking i'm a guy i never said i'm a guy he just assumed and i didn't care so am i the a-hole edits i blocked his number and then he started texting me from a different number because he said he wasn't finished with his rant i blocked him again and he somehow found my instagram and started messaging me on there his turn suddenly changed and he apologized for attacking me i told him to stop contacting me and he freaked out again and called me a narcissistic manipulative bleep bloop reported and blocked him we love it when a nice guy tips his fedora very cool guy 10 out of 10 would report and block again i just don't get how some people's insecurities come out like that and they start attacking like i've been through the gamer community myself i was there when call of duty black ops was hitting the scene you hear a 10 year old in the microphone you start yelling at them you hear a girl and you start being disgusting towards them it was just part and parcel of gamer culture in some way but i don't understand how it bleeds out into real life like this and people take it so seriously they're just like oh you used me i feel so betrayed god these people i feel like they have genuine mental health issues because no normal person would ever be like this that man needs a lot of help i don't blame op at all they did exactly what i would do reports block you know stonewalling get him out of your life good job op not the a-hole not the a-hole at all as a female gamer myself i can relate to this i personally don't feel like i should have to announce to the world that i'm female but i do feel like i have to sometimes i've learned that there are three types of guy gamers guys who don't give a freak what your gender is guys who think that girl gamers shouldn't be playing games and guys who think that if you're a girl gamer you should be in a relationship with them i might have missed some outliers but that's the three common ones in my experience most are the first type but i have had to deal with the other types as well just because you didn't reveal your gender to him doesn't mean you were manipulative we female gamers don't expect guys to announce to us their guys lol we just want to have fun after school and work like anyone else and gender has nothing to do with that i'm sorry you had to go through with that but just try to find other people to game with in the end this guy is not someone you want to game with thank the devs for the block functions lol guys who think you only play because a man got you into it or you can play with a man guys who think because you're not a man you're trying to use feminine wiles to get something from them despite never asking a single thing from them think ops falls under this one one of my favorite r slash relationships posts ever and it was a pretty small one before it got deleted was a guy asking for opinions to see if his female friend was using him he described how they were supposed to meet up for an event and hang out they had each paid their own way she never asked suggested or hinted that he should pay for her she was paying for her own travel and accommodation this dude could not give a single solitary reason as to why or how she might be using him but kept asking the commenters if they thought she was basically the epitome of your second category there she wants to be friends what's the catch the catch is you don't get to have sex with her hmm yeah no bad deal buddy i'm leaving so what you're saying my runescape girlfriend in 2010 didn't want to actually date me what no how come my account got hacked when all my money go posted by user decade later titled am i the a-hole for resenting my family for something that happened over a decade ago when i was 15 i was in a car accident i was riding my bike on new bike lanes that my city had installed and a car hit me i ended up having to go to the hospital nothing major the car was turning onto the main road when it hit me so it was going well below the speed limit but since it was a car accident i was forced into the ambulance and shipped off to the hospital to get x-rays since i was a minor i wasn't allowed to be released from the hospital without my family coming to pick me up i didn't have a cell phone at the time so i called my home phone with the hospital phone no answer the nurse told me they'll try to contact them while i go in to get examined not too serious since i'm still alive but my leg was broken and i still kind of walk weird when walking my right leg footprints are straight while my left foot is angled around 30 degrees outwards when all that was done they said they were still unable to get a hold of anyone from my family eight hours later and who knows how many calls the cop who showed up to the scene came back to the hospital and i was still there so he ended up driving me back home when i got to my house i opened the door and my mom instantly freaks out when she saw the cop and started yelling at me asking what the frick i did the cop explained the situation and started asking my mom why no one picked up the phone she says we didn't recognize the number it's been over a decade since then and i was on a zoom call with the family and that incident was brought up wasn't even me who brought it up and i simply said that's why i never used any of you as an emergency contact well they blew up mom started crying since i guess she still felt guilty about it and hung up my siblings started saying things like geez that was over a decade ago you need to let it go apologize to mom she didn't know she would have come to pick you up if she had known yo even the friends i was with told me they went knocking on my door to tell my fam what happened and my mom opened the door and before they were even able to say anything my mom says my name isn't here right now and close the door truth be told i still kind of resented that time every winter i look down at my footprints and it's a reminder of it since it showed me i couldn't really depend on my family am i the a-hole for still resenting this not like it's a constant resentment but i still kind of have mixed feelings eta noticed a few people asking the same thing but in concerns of why no one picked up the phone at the time the home number was constantly being called by scammers so maybe they just assumed it was another scammer we actually had to change the home phone number maybe a few months after since the calls were getting increasingly aggressive due to the scammers constant calls the answering machine was always full so i also wasn't able to leave a message i also reached out to one of the friends that was there and i got it wrong it wasn't my mum who answered the door it was my older brother it's been a long time and my memory isn't the greatest sorry about that as for the people asking if mum ever apologized she apologized for jumping to conclusions of me doing something bad when the cop showed up but never got a direct apology for not picking up the phone which resulted in me staying at the hospital for hours she did get me a phone for my birthday that year saying just in case something ever comes up again but no never a formal apology well i guess in that case definitely not the a-hole she has remorse about it she's crying but why can't she bring herself to apologize to you god i would that would be the first thing that would come out of my mouth as soon as the police arrived at the door like i have anxiety about picking up phone numbers that i don't know it's led to me being abused by people i've never known that got a hold of my phone number and just started chatting [ __ ] to me so i can see where that comes from i can see where the scamming part comes from as well but definitely apologizing sincerely and continuously that would be on the table why can the mother not do that and i think opie holds resentment over that i can understand why they'd be salty still 10 years later it's genuinely not something easy to let go of and i don't think the family should be that upset an emergency contact is someone you need to rely on they've proven themselves unreliable yes it could be 10 years ago but who's to say it won't happen again this has been my expert opinion today take it with a grain of salt not the a-hole i don't like phones from unknown numbers either but refusing to pick up a phone ringing multiple times within 8 hours while at the same time being worried about missing child what the hell i'd be mad too yup if the same unknown number calls me three times in a row then i assume that something freaky is up and die answer worst case scenario i wind up hanging up on somebody asking me for money the thing is it seems she didn't even realize opie was missing and assumed they did something bad when the cops showed up not the a-hole if they don't answer unknown numbers who on earth would list them as emergency contacts not the a-hole it's strange your mom has such an out-of-proportion reaction for something they all say you have to get over it's a big deal endop says after the accidents i started developing behavioral problems started smoking weed and never really wanted to spend time with family so maybe mum just correlated that to when she essentially failed me in my one time of need as a kid posted by user ceiling fan floor tiles titled am i the a-hole for firing my babysitter for getting drunk on the job this is my throwaway account so my 37 female babysitter 16 female has been babysitting for me for about two months she's a very sweet and quiet girl and is good with the kids four female and eight male we've only had small problems here and there but nothing major at all when she first started babysitting for me i had asked her if there were any drinks or snacks that she'd like me to keep the house as she's here from nine to seven every monday through saturday she mentioned that she really liked seltzer water and i had brought them for the first month but honestly i forgot after a while and never kept any in the fridge a few days ago i bought hard seltzers for me and my husband and didn't think anything of it a little bit after 2 pm she messaged me that she wasn't feeling well and thought that she may have to go home if it was possible i could get off from work earlier i asked her to try and hold out until the end of the day not too long after she called me crying saying that something was wrong and she had to go home she was drunk clearly she had drank the hard seltzers i told her to leave and she walked home she messaged me the next day and said that she now knew that hard seltzers were alcohol and she hadn't known she never drank before as both of her parents were alcoholics and she has diagnosed ptsd regarding alcohol she never even planned on drinking in general i told her not to come back as she put my children in danger she called me crying and saying that she didn't know and that she cared deeply about my children and would never ever drink with them or at all and that she needs the money to pay for a driver's permit she comes from a not-so-well-off family i told her to find a real job and that it wasn't my fault she got drunk my husband says i'm being very rude and that she did try to reach out when she wasn't feeling well my kids are upset to see her go so reddit am i the a-hole yes how do you read this and see that she's coming from a place of vulnerability she's apologizing to you she told you she doesn't know what a hard seltzer is you stalked the fridge with them she said seltzer water so many things you screwed up op gotta remember she's 16 with ptsd from a family that doesn't treat her well and on top of that you tell her to find a real job after she's looking after your kids why don't you take on the real job of looking after your own kids then if you think it's so easy we'll see how that goes for you op so many things that you've done here that are just so wrong so wrong nasty vile in every way you're a bad person op you're the a-hole edits okay guys i'm the a-hole i see it now thank you i'll hire her again and edit number two i will pay her 1 500 a week from now on and pay her permit and test as well as her license test seems like a troll but okay you are an ungodly a-hole those seltzers are newish in the alcohol world and i wouldn't expect someone who hates alcohol to know that how mature of her to let you know how immature of you to do what you did you're the a-hole not only newish to alcohol but fudging 16. i sure as hell didn't know what each and every alcoholic beverage looked like at 16. what a massive a-hole edits in response to op's edits i hope the babysitter has found a better employee to work for i hope with every fiber in my being that she is able to give her that's gonna be a no from me dog when opie calls and offers her the job back someone else replies i am well over 16 and grabbed one accidentally a few weeks ago for my own fridge they also don't taste all that much of alcohol so i was a good third of the way down before i realized my mistake i've done this several times myself because we buy different seltzers all the time to make it worse i poured it in a glass so i didn't even have a can to look at op should be ashamed of herself she's lucky the babysitter's parents didn't call the cops on her seriously i'm five years sober and have to be really careful about logos on seltzer now someone at the grocery store had taken a hard seltzer from the beer section and put it with the regular ones on another aisle it took me a minute to realize it was alcohol and not just some new flavoured water how the hell is a 16 year old that didn't even buy this stuff supposed to know i'm gonna read ops comments in order from latest to earliest i don't know how this works so i can't find what they're replying to but uh paints a really rough picture this one so there's five comments and here we go i do believe her she's a very nice girl quiet and shy but i think she should have read the label and been more responsible i pay her 100 a week which she was happy to take she mentioned that she helps her dad pay rent so i'm assuming that's why she doesn't have the money in my country kids are out of school right now hence why my children are home i thought 100 a week was fair for a first-time job but now i see it's not i only need her for a few more weeks it is only fair to pay quite a bit to make up for underpaying her for the past two months i can afford to pay 1 500 a week for a few weeks not long term and no i wouldn't be able to afford three months paying fifteen hundred dollars a week so it does look like this is real and they're not trolling a hundred dollars a week dear lord op disgusting posted by user sick doe titled am i the a-hole for making an insurance claim against my neighbor for hitting my car even though my car is a beater i have an old car that i bought for two thousand dollars when i was 16. i'm 26 now in the time i've had it i've learned a lot about car maintenance i fix it up with junkyard parts and it's pretty cheap to keep running it's dented and rusty as hell but it goes and it's cheap so anyway my neighbor parks in his driveway and i park on the street and he's gotten mad at me for parking in the street because he finds it harder to navigate his big truck around my car i asked him if he wants me to move my car ahead a bit or behind a bit on the streets because i'm happy to but i have to park somewhere on the streets because i don't have a driveway or garage space he didn't like that he doesn't want me parking on the street at all but i'm not about to park on a whole different street than i live at anyway this week i was sitting on my fire escape reading a book and i saw my neighbor drive out of his driveway right into my car's side i grabbed my phone and start filming asap i walked out to the car still filming and got a good video of the damage to the door panel it was dented and scratched now my car was already pretty beat it's got body panels from three different cars dents and dings all over it's got damage to the convertible soft top that i've fixed up with glue and patches etc it's a tough old girl so the new damage didn't bother me much i didn't plan on fixing it but it did bother me that my neighbor hit and run my car especially because he knew it belongs to me so after a few days of thinking on it i decided to file an insurance claim i sent the company the video which had gotten my neighbor's license plate in it i thought they could find his insurance and settle the insurance company said that for a hit and run the policy was that i needed to file a police report so i did i wasn't expecting that much but i got a one thousand six hundred dollar payout from my neighbor's insurance i guess they appraised my car based on its estimated value based on model and year and didn't pay attention to the fact that it was an absolute beta with a lot of diy fixes anyway my neighbor was mad at me and came to my house after the insurance thing had paid out and he was looking to yell at me but my landlord was there in the hallway doing some repairs and when he came looking for which door was mine my landlord told him that if he wasn't invited to get the hell off his property i guess you could tell this guy was angry and probably wasn't a good idea to send him up to my room i feel a little bad that i hid lol feels cowardly but it was all so cowardly that he did a hit and run am i the a-hole for taking a huge insurance payout on my beat a car because my neighbor hid it no not at all you got proof and on a video that he hit you do you know how rare that is opie it's not easy to find a hidden run happening and have your phone out at the same time i'd say this is somewhat of a stars alighting situation because it's hard to get proof of hidden runs of the person that did it he's just mad because he got courts don't be sad opie a lot of people would hide in the same situation you don't want to confront someone that's emotional and ready to fight i don't you don't and i don't blame you not the a-hole it doesn't matter what state your car was in at best he is an irresponsible driver at worst he intentionally committed a crime because of an unreasonable vendetta either way he should face the consequences he intentionally committed a crime when he left the scene of an accident opie is not the a-hole not at all honestly i hate everything about his post this guy hit my parked car because he can't navigate it properly and fled the scene am i the a-hole for getting his insurance to pay for it oh he's my neighbor by the way mate this is what insurance is for this is why you have insurance it's so unbelievably not the a-hole i'm shocked it's not removed by mods wasn't there a rule about things like this being so obviously not the a-hole that it's absurd i personally don't think it's quite that clear-cut an issue i believe that there is an added element of possible a-hole due to the lack of damage or even real caring about damage the insurance and police reports were filed as a retaliatory action against the neighbor not that any of that excuses the actions of the neighbor who was clearly the a-hole in this situation but there's the whole two wrongs don't make a right perspective too even so i think opie's actions are entirely excused as a punitive measure for the a-hole neighbor if nothing else posted by user le lupkite the wolf girdles in french titled am i the a-hole for telling my friends to have realistic expectations about who will find him attractive my friends male 20 complains about his lack of men to date he isn't unattractive but he is no male model he however has very narrow tastes when it comes to men he wants a tall ripped male model who isn't feminine in any way which i've always found pretty shallow yesterday while he was complaining about how he must be so ugly because none of these 10 out of 10 men would date him and that he will never find a decent guy to date i told him that he needed to have more realistic expectations most people aren't perfect models and the epitome of masculinity so he needs to be open to dating less attractive people and not be so shallow because he's also not a 10 out of 10. he accused me of attacking his self-esteem and not being a good friend for telling him he's unattractive and ridiculing him for having standards i feel justified in what i said because i think he needs a wake-up call but maybe i shouldn't have told him that he's not that attractive he has had issues with self-esteem in the past so i felt guilty for bringing up his looks i guess in this one i'd say that everyone kind of sucks here you know it's fine to tell him that he's not that attractive in some situations if you know that he's gonna take it well but in this situation maybe it wasn't fine because he's not taking it well i feel like there are concessions where people will you know genuinely take it on board because you're giving them honest advice as a friend i'd say it's a not the a-hole leaning on everyone sucks here in this situation just because of that comment but helping your friends see reality nothing wrong with that so that's my judgment and opie replies in their post i'd like to thank everyone who took the time to give their perspective on the situation i've realized that i was both in the right and in the wrong on this matter i wanted to tell him that his very high standards were making him unhappy because he's been struggling to find decent boyfriends for the six years i've known him and i was worried it was the reason he was suffering with such bad self-esteem not defending myself here i however did insinuate he wasn't a 10 out of 10 and dealt a blow to a person who already struggles with self-esteem i was an a-hole for that i said what i said out of concern but i may have done some damage in doing so thank you all for making me realize this also to the one person who said i didn't understand sexuality and homosexuality as a bisexual male all i have to say is lol not the a-hole i have a friend who's also extraordinarily like your friends and it's to the point where it's obnoxious even if they did meet a person who lived up to their physical standards it's unlikely that person will also meet their other standards too personally i would much rather a person who i can chat with and has similar likes as me over them being my 10 out of 10. this i've dated some very attractive people but quite honestly it just wasn't a match because the personalities just weren't there your friend seems to not have learned that lesson and well they are going to continue down the path he's chosen until they gets it right when i have friends like this i tell them to find someone with whom they can laugh talk do things with instead of going for a look honestly it's really really obnoxious i have so many smart wonderful loyal male friends that i met in college who she actually has a ton in common with but she won't ever talk to any of them because they aren't the gruff tattooed lumberjack type she wants i mean it is important to be detracted to your partner but if you can't have a conversation with them is it really worth it lol gruff tattooed lumberjack is totally my type too especially if they're on the shorter side like five foot five five foot eight it's ideal i call it my buff bearded short dude fetish but my husband is tall and lanky and has a bit of a dad bod and while he has a beard right now he hasn't always and that makes him in no way less attractive to me i can't for the life of me fathom people who refuse to give someone a shot if they don't physically match up with their dream 10 out of 10. my husband is so much better than any fictional short lumberjack i could make up because he's real and he loves me and we make each other laugh and even if we're not each other's dream bod we still have great sex it makes no sense to hold out for perfection when you can find someone you click with and make perfection on your own posted by user downtown inevitable six titles am i the a-hole for hiding my tip money from my boyfriend my boyfriend and i have lived together for over a year and we've had birth control failure broken condom that resulted in me getting pregnant just a few months into the relationship the entire time i was pregnant i worked full time and was getting put on bed rest quite a bit he would not keep a job he would not get along with my management they didn't like him they were picking on him they wanted him to work longer hours or whatever excuse he could find to quit he's also a chain smoker and always needing cigarettes or being very angry and rude when he didn't have them well my son was born early and he needed to be in the nicu i figured since my boyfriend didn't have a job that he would stay at the hospital with me two and a half hours away from our house he then announced he got a new job and i could stay with the baby and he was going home our son was given a 50 50 chance to even come home i was angry but i let him go hoping he was going to straighten up fast forward and our son is home and on oxygen and of course my boyfriend isn't working again and i'm pulling doubles i make enough with my paychecks to pay the bills but i've been hiding my tip money in a wax candle burner which is broken so it doesn't turn on i've saved quite a bit because if i don't hide it then he takes it to buy pack after pack of cigarettes i know it's dishonest but it's the only extra money i have well he was messing around and hit a corner shelf where i kept the cash and it felt on the floor and the money spilled out he scolded me for hiding money from him and that he was suffering from nicotine withdrawal and that he couldn't believe how selfish i was and that i was a liar and all this other stuff am i the a-hole edit to add i've stayed with him despite his actions because my very religious family was very upset that i got pregnant out of wedlock and i'm afraid that if i leave him that they will shun me even more for being a single parent added to add he doesn't smoke in the house around the baby he has a machine that is plugged into the wall that creates oxygen from the surrounding air so he has to sleep and stay right beside that machine at all times so he goes outside to smoke also he's taking care of our son during the day he seems well cared for putting into child care isn't an option because none of the child care centers will take him because of his oxygen dependency and the ones who will are so expensive that my whole paycheck would barely cover the cost i feel like i'm drowning sometimes just barely making it above water i feel like this is a good time to say not the a-hole i would get out of there as soon as possible the fact that you're scared of your partner that they are so useless that there's such a weight on your relationship they refuse to compromise they refuse to get a job they just sit at home and collect money at you and blame their nicotine addiction on you not giving them your tips from your job when you have to pull doubles and they won't pull their weight around the house genuinely not acceptable i won't stand for it i would never stand for a partner like that they'd be on the street faster than you could say yo which isn't even a word i understand that opie doesn't have much option in this situation but i'd rather be on my own than with this person in my life updates edits i just called my grandmother and told her about everything going on and my son and i are moving in with her for the time being my grandfather is coming to pick up some of my things and baby things and we've arranged with a medical supplies company to move my son's equipment and to bring me some mobile oxygen tanks i'm so glad i called her i feel like we might be free from so much heartache my grandmother has even agreed to watch him during the day and i can stay home with him at night now since i won't have to pay rent i can start saving for a place of my own with my son not the a-hole i'm more concerned why you chose to stay with someone like this than why you hid money my family was really upset when i got pregnant and not married very religious family so now if i leave him i'm afraid they'll shun me even more for being a single parent honestly that sounds better than staying with your boyfriend you're practically raising your child on your own so it wouldn't be much of a change of course it would be a change she wouldn't have to be paying for his addictions she wouldn't have to hide money what a peace of mind that would be and hopefully op can find that peace of mind not the a-hole oh my god run run far away from him your premature baby has come home from the nicu on an oxygen tank and your boyfriend is still chen smoking i'm not even going to touch the fact that he still feels entitled to your money despite literally everything else you've written in this post if you don't leave this deadbeat we'll see you in a bit when you post about him playing video games all day while you work not the a-hole posted by user run run grey titled am i the a-hole for wanting to put up a garden fence to prevent my neighbor from mowing my lawn odd title i know look i haven't done it yet but i want to put up a garden vents on my side of the property line in order to prevent my neighbor from mowing my property the reasons why are one my neighbor uses a large riding lawnmower to take care of their own yard and often mows a portion of my yard in order to avoid items in their backyard trailer parked right by but not on the property line trampoline placed six inches from line two about a week ago they mowed and damaged one of my sprinkler heads it didn't cause my yard to flood and i was still able to fix it without having to replace it but it was still annoying i saw my neighbour do it notice that they did it and move on that's all you have to tell me or pee not the a-hole from this point onwards three they recently within the last 12 months moved in and we've waved and said hello to them but they have ignored us they are friendly with the other people in the neighborhood but seem to ignore us and the other neighbours who share a property line with them four they tore out the property boundary stick between our houses and theirs there is a hole where it was and i want to place something anything in that spot before the whole fills in i want to separate out my assumptions because they're based on my observations which may be different than what the neighbor is actually doing you know like two sides to each story and what not first i have a feeling they are trying to slowly encroach onto our property they have the smallest lot and have it full of stuff shed trailer trampoline boat etc and we have the largest lot and keep it pretty empty secondly they don't seem to respect our property since they damaged our sprinkler lastly they haven't been very friendly to us and i want to create a barrier between us and them i'm not a large fence person in fact based on our city rules i can't fence a large portion of my yard i've planted trees between us but can't have them on the property line i am allowed to place a small decorative garden fence for reference they are those two to three feet tall metal fences that can be hammered into the ground they are 100 decorative i want to place it on our property to prevent them from mowing our yard i would plant shrubs and flowers next to it so it doesn't look stupid i've told my family and friends this idea and they seem to be split on if i'm being a petty a-hole so am i i'm sorry is trying to protect your yard from damage in a beautiful way petty and a-holish i don't think so and i guess you could always just go up to them and ask hey could you please stop mowing on my side and we could see how it goes but this seems like an idea for people that have social anxiety and they just want to do a soft approach to keeping them off your lawn i think that's a good way that doesn't start any confrontation doesn't cause any stress for you maybe even makes your garden look a little better i support this idea op they don't seem to be great people in my opinion opie not the a-hole not the a-hole and i hate neighbors fence it immediately i feel this so much had bad neighbors a while ago one lady in our neighborhood cut tulips my mom had growing in our front yard neighbors are horrible and the good ones are few and far in between we have neighbors on one side that poisoned all our plants over time so their clothesline would get more sun we know they did it because on several occasions we caught them in our yard with poison bottles also the head of a large coconut palm fell onto me whilst i was in our paddling pool one summer when i looked at the tree there was a cork placed in a hole drilled into it and the entire head very rarely just falls off in one complete piece we spoke to our local council and put up the tallest privacy screen we were allowed to it's a pity because now their clothesline gets absolutely no sun and they had to put in a second clothesline in the middle of their pristine manicured lawn i literally breathed a sigh of relief over the last bit about the clothesline thing backfiring what kind of complete wretch poisons their neighbor's plants they really are awful we've never had any issues with neighbors in the past my husband thinks it's because the old couple we bought our home off were complete pushovers they let them dictate pretty much everything regarding the gardens fencing etc then we moved in and brought small dogs who are always kept inside unless we're in our yard with them and we didn't agree with everything they wanted to do it wasn't obvious at first that they were dying it was a concerted effort over about 12 months by the time we realized what was happening it was too late to save most of the trees plants and shrubs that boarded their side of the yard you know what opie you should sneak over at night and poison words and symbols into their lawn a big old peepee per chance can i interest you in a [ __ ] and balls neighbor not the a-hole simply put it is your property i would be remiss if i didn't add good fences make good neighbors also it's not like there's any kind of relationship to worry about ruining with these rude turds posted by user ringanon432 titled am i the a-hole for not wanting a ring my fiancee already gave to another girl my now fiance was engaged a couple of years before we got together and they broke up and she gave the ring back we've been together for a few years and a few days ago he proposed and i was super excited the ring looked kind of familiar and when i asked him where it was from he said it was the ring he gave to ex-fiance i immediately took it off and was like i don't want a ring you bought for someone else it wasn't meant for me he got upset and said it didn't matter because it's not hers anymore it's mine my family and friends are split saying that i'm the a-hole and i'm justified i don't want him to spend a whole other thousand dollars on a ring for me but i want a ring that was meant for me not for someone else am i the a-hole i feel like you're justified in this one op he kept the ring he told you the ring was from her years ago i would feel kind of insulted getting the same ring i know it's like a little bit of a place of privilege there but jesus no i would be wearing that ring every day being like he didn't get this for me you know he's just passing it on because he can't be bothered he doesn't want to get another ring he doesn't want something that's for me i feel like in a marriage it is about you two as partners and you know the ring is symbolic of that relationship if you're wearing the ring that he meant for another woman doesn't feel like a bond with your husband it feels like an imposter i would feel like an impostor i don't blame op for feeling that way and giving the ring back not the a-hole this is ridiculous how dare he give you her ring it's her ring he meant it for her bought it for her how does he think to give you her rejects is okay you were completely justified and i would rethink this guy if i were you oh hon you got yourself a clueless one not the a-hole of course yeah wonder why he and the ex broke up hmm he gave it to another girl before her he thought you know what third time's the charm my husband had proposed to another girl before we ever met when we talked about getting married he knew i wouldn't accept that ring at all so we picked out our rings together but he did ask me if i wanted that ring just as a regular piece of jewelry and i was like hell no that's bad juju and i want nothing to do with it not the a-hole lol i don't know why but this reminded me my mum gave her family friend her old wedding and engagement rings from divorce he had them melted down and recast into new rings for his wife so that was cool upcycling this i had this happen to me a friend of my fiance made a comment about not wanting another woman's ring the thing was we already were in the process of getting it recast into the ring she designed my fiancee now wife freaked out the jeweler was a gigi he said that most people don't realize but at least 30 of diamonds and the gold they cast into are recycled so the probability of you getting a diamond from a ring that wasn't originally worn by a cheetah who slept with half of the football team is fairly high by the way this didn't happen it's just an example oh wow definitely not the a-hole are you serious what kind of guy does that i would be ticked and would have reacted the same way lol my old co-worker's ex did this after they called off the engagement she happened to run into him a couple years later and his new fiancee was wearing the same ring from the original engagement co-worker commented that it was a nice ring and then walked off laughing he was a clueless jerk so it didn't surprise her cringe posted by user bunny box titled would i be the a-hole if i don't tell my son-in-law that his child may not be his part of my english i have been debating myself since i came to know of this secret and would like to go against my daughter's wish my daughter was found to have some health problems since young we thought she became better as she grew but apparently not as her problems surfaced again after she became a mother and worsened as time passes we've tried our best to help her and her husband especially even though we had doubts about him before in times of crisis he never left her side and took care of both her and their son then there came one time when my daughter poured out her heart to me she told her that she'd been playing around quote unquote before and was not sure if her son belongs to her husband she was afraid that he would hate her or leave them so she kept quiet about it however after seeing how he stood by her side after her health declined made her very ashamed about what she did my daughter told me that if she ever dies she wants me to tell her husband about the truth and have them do a test of the dna she couldn't bear to tell him herself so i promised her that i will do it but i didn't realize the day may come so soon my daughter is now in a coma she probably may pass any time and it is then i remembered what she told me however i don't want to tell them her son is already seven and her husband loves both of them deeply there's no need for him to know and probably no way for him to find out if i'm the only person she told about this then the secret can die with me there is just this lingering feeling of guilt for failing the both of them i'd like to discuss this with her but she's barely conscious would i be the a-hole if i just kept quiet i think my daughter may hold it against me if i don't but as much as they deserve the truth they are better off not knowing i very much disagree opie i feel like you suck and i feel like the daughter sucks also for cheating it's her dying wish for you to tell him that the child may not be his and to get a dna test what are you gonna go against the daughter's dying wish that's a very terrible thing for you to do op i would i would very much reconsider that i don't think they're better off not knowing i feel like it's pretty much very much the opposite i feel like as the father that would be something i would i would like to know in all honesty but that's just my opinion you're welcome to do whatever you want opie but um if you don't tell her i'm judging you a lot because you would be the a-hole in this situation the father is completely innocent in this you and your daughter oh not so much your daughter is despicable everyone's sexier except the poor child and poor husband being sick is no free pass for being an a-hole it's one thing to cheat and raise a child with someone who you're not sure is the father that already makes opi's daughter a terrible person but the way she wants to reveal it to her husband makes it so so much worse she's too chicken to tell him herself so she emotionally blackmails her mother to do it when she's no longer around to have to deal with the fallout her husband will not be able to get angry at her betrayal because he has to mourn her death and help a morning child at the same time if the husband can't cope her kid loses both parents at the same time it's unbelievably selfish that she'd decide to seriously hurt three other people rather than facing the consequences of her actions and opie is a terrible parent for enabling her the fact that the daughter even thought about doing that might be because she was too coddled as a sick child regardless after the first conversation op should have either told her to come clean or told the husband to herself instead of landing them in a situation that cannot possibly have a decent outcome for any of the innocent parties in this this is why i find deathbed confessions to be absolute bullcrap you don't get to mess up someone's life and then just leave that's so crappy and this is really what it is the daughter wants to die with a clear conscience which is incredibly selfish considering all the damage she would do to everyone left behind i wish i could remember the story where i found this but it's a response to a confession made just before the person went to war it means absolutely nothing hours before you plan to die he interrupts water on sand words written in air those have more permanence than repentance followed by suicide by proxy not the a-hole your daughter is very much the a-hole but the only thing a paternity test would do now is possibly further traumatize an innocent seven-year-old already faced with losing his mother agreed this poor child will already have enough issues dealing with the death of his mother i disagree if it's true imagine that kid doing an ancestry kit or something one day with the popularity of online heritage-based dna testing people up and down the globe are finding out about all sorts of lies regardless op should have forced her daughter to tell her husband before and whatever happens now is a terrible outcome for the only truly innocent people in this story honestly if i were op i would write off the kid doing an ancestry kid down the line as a you problem father will have an easier time dealing with the fact that the kid isn't his if that is the case at any time other than after losing his wife during a global pandemic kid deserves to be raised by a father who loves him and he has one now it doesn't matter if the kid is biologically his he had raised him since he was a baby i'm not going to pass judgment much but i will say that i don't think i would tell him if i were him i wouldn't want to know his wife is dying i can only imagine what finding out that his child may not even be his and his wife's infidelity would do to him if anything maybe get the test done yourself if he is the father then never mention it but there are other ways they could find out the truth let's say they get contacted by a man in a few years who says he thinks he's the girl's actual father or they do the 23andme thing and find out they aren't biologically related or the kid needs a kidney to save his life and the father turns out to not be a match that would be a very awkward conversation with the doctor parents are often not matches it all depends on blood type and the match is a toss-up of punnett squares alright this one made me laugh out of surprise i'm gonna include this one just because it's like what the la mao today i learned that cheating and lying is okay as long as it's a dying woman you are all disgusting just like opie's daughter yikes i haven't passed judgment and won't because this is crazy but to be fair the other comments are about the husband and not about letting the wife get away with infidelity they're saying that his wife is already dying and he's dealing with a lot so telling him right now would fudging crush his soul yeah he deserves to know duh but this isn't black and white you got that as well the mental gymnastics in this thread how people can with a straight face say that it's right to keep this information from the son-in-law paternity fraud is an evil thing to do but you know what it don't matter just keep the poor chump paying for their daughter's crappy decisions but it's not the kid's fault yeah it ain't it ain't the son-in-law's fault either life sucks buy a helmet well i know someone whose brother committed suicide upon finding out that he wasn't the father of his two-year-old daughter along with the fact that his wife had cheated on him all you guys think about is the truth and not how it'll affect the people it hurts sure i do agree that the son-in-law deserves to know the truth eventually but not at such a fragile time right now especially when it could be all for naught because he might be the father after all anecdotal evidence means absolutely nothing oh my god the comments are so heated oh my god posted by user throw r.a.mado titled am i the a-hole for yelling and embarrassing my partner for playing with himself so this past week it was that time of the month again sometimes mine are really bad and last more than a week it was that way this time well my husband had been in the bathroom for a really long time i knocked and he said he'd be out soon i tried to open the door and to my surprise it was unlocked i walked in and was a little disgusted at what i saw he was touching himself he quickly stopped when i opened the door i was shocked and asked him what he was doing he looked really embarrassed and said i think you already know i told him this was unacceptable and just gross for him to do this especially behind my back he assured me that he wasn't watching porn and was instead looking at pictures of me while doing it nonetheless i still said that i didn't like him doing this and requested that he stop immediately he agreed but has yet to be normal around me since then he seems to be very embarrassed in my point of view i believe that what i said and did was completely warranted but with his reaction i wanted to see what other people's opinions were on this did i handle this the wrong way was i being an a-hole come on is a man not allowed to have some privacy has some time to himself you know investigate the bishop and his misdoings reunite with an old acquaintance of his per chance is it really disgusting that your husband was doing that obviously you don't want to have sex on your period and that's your prerogative you know everyone's fine to do that but if he wants to get off can a man not get off assaulting him for that verbally and embarrassing him and making him feel less then it's not yours or anyone's place to do that and trust me i've read the r slash dead bedroom subreddits i know it's actually quite a common thing in some relationships at least in that subreddits you know it's a very depressing subreddit but yeah no you were being the a-hole in this situation you did handle it the wrong way opie i'm sorry to say complete you're the a-hole he was touching himself he doesn't need your consent or anyone else's to do so even if he was watching porn you're the a-hole just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean they get to dictate whether or not they masturbate this seems like very controlling behavior i don't care what other people's opinions are or what the established rules are to the relationship you've entered into people who don't let their partners masturbate are the worst wait there are people who don't actually let their partners masturbate what this is the first time i've ever heard of that wild concept i've seen it a bunch and i've also seen am i the a-hole threads where people have been ticked that their partner is masturbating and instead being like opie you suck the commenters are like well then you aren't compatible and should break up to find someone who shares your views which i'll be real it's not wrong sometimes if you're not compatible sexually and your partner takes it to the point where they're shunning you it's not wrong to go find someone you're actually compatible with posted by user sarah tonwe titled am i the a-hole for cutting off my daughter's allowance my 37 female husband 36 of two years and the stepfather of my daughter was recently banned from uber the problem is he works as a dj and part of his job description is partying into the early hours of the next day by the end of his last gig he's cranky sweaty and in no condition to drive unfortunately for us my job is in the startup field and often involves late night projects in which my teammates and i are also drinking a lot to keep morale up the combination of a stressed out me and an overly critical version of my husband at 3 am isn't a good one meanwhile my daughter 16 recently got a driver's license so i asked that she drive him to his gigs and pick him up pretty simple task especially since it's summer and she'd be up anyway right away my husband told me she started complaining if she feels that he's going to too many venues for one night or if he smells a certain way or is telling her she's driving too quickly last friday i was away on a business trip and only got back this morning the moment i walk in the door my daughter says she had to wait until 4am two nights in a row and that she was done my husband tells me my daughter was purposely driving unsteadily and calling him below-the-belt insults so i go up to her room and remind her that our jobs provide her with her decent allowance and that we barely even ask her to do other chores when she said she's not picking him up anymore i ended up taking away her allowance her friend's mom called me asking me why i was doing this my daughter had texted saying she couldn't buy her a 16th birthday present for the friend's party anymore and i explained it was a family matter am i the a-hole i feel since my daughter is old enough she needs to contribute to help her parents out and if she cared enough about the family she'd be offering to make our lives easier it's not like my husband was just going out partying he's out there trying to earn an income i disagree with you guys as parents keeping your 16 year old daughter out there till 4am in the car by herself out in nightclubbing districts it's not only unsafe and it's unfair on her do you mean by your husband being cranky sweaty and in no condition to drive as in he's bruising himself up while he's doing these dj sets out in clubs that kind of sounds like a hymn problem not a your daughter problem to solve rp he's an adult he should be conducting himself accordingly and making sure that he's able to drive himself home after the end of his shifts that's not on your 16 year old daughter to solve and it's not cool to cut off her allowance just because she doesn't want to stay out there till 4 a.m and deal with him no you're the a-hole your daughter is a kid not a 4am taxi service if your husband is such an a-hole that he got banned from uber i don't blame her for not wanting to drive him around yeah he completely skimmed over the bend from uberpods what kind of a-hole gets banned from uber you're the a-hole and why is he not using one of the literally other dozen pickup apps lyft is a thing hell even old-school taxis exist you're the a-hole your husband and you need to get your alcoholism under control staying up late for work is no excuse to drink profusely relying on a child to clean up your issues is wrong forcing a child to drive her drunk smelly belligerent stepfather around at 4am is awful this part kills me it's in no way a requirement that a dj gets so drunk while working that they can't drive i don't know what's more ridiculous that he can't seem to not get belligerently drunk every single night surely that affects his work performance or that the mother is trying to excuse her daily drunkenness on working on late projects last time i checked if you're trying to stay up late for a project you are slamming back coffee and energy drinks not alcohol which is a literal depressant posted by user throw 23 away titled am i the a-hole for reducing my daughter's already limited free time my 43 male daughter 16 female is currently studying 8 hours per day for her college tests i am very strict with her study time and make sure she is indeed studying and not wasting time since she wants to pass in a very hard course that leaves her with about four hours of free time where i used to let her do whatever she wanted she likes to watch drama series and browse on her social media mainly recently i've begun thinking that she's spending way too much time doing these things that won't help her get into college so i decided to do a new rule where she needs to read in order to get time with her electronics basically if she reads for an hour she can use her phone or other electronics for an hour as well of course she hated this rule and is currently very upset at me saying i reduced her already limited free time and that doing this won't help her at all it will only add more stress we are both very short-tempered and we can't talk reasonably without arguing so i decided to ask here to see if i'm on the wrong side i do want her to have time to do what she wants but i also want her to read the books that are valuable for her college tests here in my country there's a list of mandatory books that you need to read for the tests am i really the a-hole here is she just being dramatic edits it's good to know that we're not from the us here where i live college tests don't offer a lot of second chances i know that in the us you have to have a pre-med degree or something like that here you just have to pass this extremely hard and competitive test in order to go to med school that's why she has to study so much the grade she has to get in order to pass is very high in her previous years of high school she studied much less she's okay with that just to clarify not forcing this on her either edits just to clarify a few things she does want to study medicine i didn't force that on her she chose it on her own she does take breaks in between it's not eight hours straight it's four hours in the morning with 30 minutes is a break one hour for lunch four hours in the afternoon 30 minutes break as well sorry for not clarifying that edit there's a lot of people criticizing my relationship with my daughter i realized i was in the wrong and talked to her so that we could work a better schedule that incorporates her reading and still gives her time to do what she likes we always work together on her schedules sometimes i'm a little overbearing and i do realize that now please don't make such rude comments as we actually get along pretty well i meant well and just wanted her to focus thank you for changing my mind edit since there's a lot of people asking we're from brazil medicine is our most competitive subject you have to practically ace a test called enem our equivalent to sats in order to get a slight chance to get in eight hours is actually pretty uncommon here most students who want to go do a lot more than what i think is reasonable and do so for more than one year in order to pass i feel like you're putting unnecessary restrictions on your daughter if she wants to pass this test she can do that on her own time a little overbearing is a little bit of an understatement in this situation op feel like you're being a lot overbearing i understand that it's a hard test to get into but she's gonna crack under the pressure if you're not allowing her time to cool off and time to you know walk away from that stress of studying for a bit i feel like you do lack empathy for her in this situation because i don't feel like you can put yourselves in her shoes don't know if you're understanding the stress that she's under op but the fact that you realize you're an a-hole is good and thank god you're working to help her pass that test now when everyone's flamed you still you're the a-hole this is a stellar way to ensure that you don't have a relationship with your daughter once she moves out she's already studying eight hours a day that's more than enough let her have her four hours to allow her brain to decompress however she wants our brain needs to relax after we've loaded them with information i'll just say this this isn't the right way to learn this is exactly what not to do you're the a-hole i'm also from a country where the national exams are pretty much the ones that count towards college and sorry i just can't agree it's wrong from an educational point of view and she won't get anything out of cramming other than forgetting everything in a few days due to stress opie you should go and call sarah and watch this course learning how to learn powerful mental tools to help you master tough subjects it's quite helpful and it gives you the right information about studying based on neurological functioning also your daughter could also benefit from seeing it spoiler alert doing something completely different such as a hobby or doing sports does help consolidate the information i just copy pasted that one if you guys want to watch that it's actually for free on vimeo surprisingly i'm probably going to watch it later just in my down time so i can help my kids in the future i feel like that's a good thing to do just google that phrase and you'll find the vimeo video if you want to watch it isn't opie pushing her to not cram by studying more in the months leading up to the test instead of right before it's still cramming if she's doing 12 hours a day in my personal experience this is also a great way to make her hate studying and not want to do it willingly when she is no longer forced to if you keep this up op you will be lucky if her grades only tank for a semester or two studying will have to be something that she if not enjoys at least feels comfortable doing so she can maintain her grades that freedom of moving out and being able to watch her dramas whenever she wants will very likely be too tempting to not go overboard with at first let her find her own equilibrium rupee she seems like she's pretty smart and can figure out a balance if you stop essentially making studying a punishment you're the a-hole you're the a-hole studying is more effective with breaks if you're concerned about making sure she reads the books then break up her study time with some reading but four hours a day is very little time to decompress from everything and forcing her to spend yet more time working will only add to her attention it will not help her learn and opie says i hear you i will talk to her and try to sort something out thank you op very cool posted by user am i the a-hole gumball titled am i the a-hole for selling my son's ps3 i 42 male recently bought a ps4 for my son 13 male it cost around 350 dues after i bought the ps4 i sold my son's ps3 since he had a new video game he doesn't need it anymore and that's what i felt but when my son found out that i'd sold his ps3 he was livid he called me names and went to the bedroom he even refused to open the new ps4 that i'd bought for him his mother my ex told me that i was an a-hole for selling the ps3 without asking him but it was me who bought it for him and i had every right to sell it am i the a-hole for selling the ps3 man that just brings back memories from back in the day i had a friend ziggy he had an xbox and we were playing call of duty world of war on it just constantly playing the zombies maps over and over again and one day we go over to play again like always and the xbox is just gone his dad was just like i need the money i'm selling your xbox so if that was a depressing day i think his dad used it for drugs but um never know with that household he there's a ping pong table that appeared one day and disappeared the next so you never know with that household but anyway i felt like the dad was an a-hole in that situation so i stand by it in this one you don't just sell the ps3 without talking to the sun first you he pulled a quick one on him and he obviously liked his ps3 even though it's like uh why do you have a ps3 and a ps4 maybe he liked his ps3 a lot i don't know maybe you should have talked to your son before selling it op that would have been a smart thing to do i'm sure you had every right to sell it but then he also has every right to his emotions from you selling it you're the a-hole edit i know that i'm an a-hole for selling his ps3 and intend to get it back if possible and many of you pointing me out as an abusive parent not every parent is perfect and they have their flaws like being abusive cut it with bringing up red flags and abusive parents into the question i value my son's happiness more than anything and do not please imply the opposite edit 2 stop messaging me saying that i'm a bad father and my son deserves better it hurts okay yes it hurts to be called out um that's kind of what you get for being a sucky parent i'm sorry you're the a-hole you can't play ps3 games on a ps4 you might have bought it but it was his parents like you need to learn boundaries and communicate with words not only all this but literally all his saved game data was on there he might have games he'd been playing for a long time with progress that he was proud of just tossed away in an instance or that one dude racing his dead dad's ghost from the save file oh god someone says i don't get the reference it was a racing game story sometimes there's ghosts of the past racer that you have to beat to overwrite in the story opie's dad loved the game but died recently he left the ghost on the game opie would play the game and slowly get better than the ghost but would always stop before the finish line so he could always play with his dad that's tragic oh my god anyway sorry for the detour kick to the rib says okay listen here op there are multiple reasons why you're the a-hole 1. ps3 games cannot be played on a ps4 system if you sold all of his ps3 games as well then you just gave perfectly viable games away and even if he already beat the games they're still perfectly viable to play but he can't because you gave away the same system that runs them 2. parents like you should learn the difference between a gift and property you gave your son the ps3 it was a gift so even though you paid for it it is his and now i'm not sure about the laws of your country so maybe he isn't legally able to own possessions because he's a miner but if that's how you think about your child then you have more issues than just having sold his ps3 bottom line is you disrespected your son by giving away his game console or selling his game console doesn't really matter his game console is gone because of you he's hurt by that so fix it by talking to your child as other commenters have already said communicate with your child posted by user lena jg titled am i the a-hole for claiming i'm infertile when i'm actually not i female22 work in a small goldsmithy it's just me my boss male 54 and from time to time an older guy e dots comes around and helps us repairing watches edot is genuinely a nice person is this play for idiots but he is sexist which really annoys me for obvious reasons every time i wear a wide dress or a shirt that's oversized he asks me if i'm pregnant not in a your fat way i told him multiple times to stop because it makes me uncomfortable and i feel like it's none of his business and also it's an inappropriate question so today he asked me again and i finally had enough and told him no i'm infertile because i knew this would shock him and i wanted to teach him a lesson about asking inappropriate questions to people you barely know like i'm not infertile but i could be he looked at me in shock and mumbled huh really and i said no but i bet you feel stupid now now both my boss and him are angry because they think i crossed a line and that i should show some respect because he's old i think if i have to listen to his bull crap he has to listen to mine as well am i the a-hole no not the a-hole old men need to learn they can't talk to young women like this it's completely inappropriate and you even told him before that it makes you uncomfortable and he still continued you didn't cross a line but he did every time he asked you about being pregnant agreed when my parents were struggling with fertility issues someone at a party was pressuring them to explain why they hadn't had any kids my mom didn't want to get into the whole multiple miscarriages 12 before i was born fyi thing and tried to get him to back off but nope he kept pushing the drinking probably didn't help finally she gave up and said well it's because i was biologically born a man i've always been a woman deep down and have always known i was supposed to be a woman but i wasn't born that way and i'm afraid i can't have children because of it this was way back before being transgender was a well-known thing but my mums was ahead of a lot of people in understanding and supporting trans rights some might think it was inappropriate apparently my grandpa nearly spit his drink out but this guy would not shut up and she didn't want to have to share her story of her infertility with him after she said it he finally shut up though apparently he kept staring at her throughout the night the thing is she could have been born a man endopee could have been infertile besides it not being your business that's why you don't ask because an innocent question can be anything but depending on what someone's going through no word on what he thought when he found out she was pregnant or if he ever did i don't know how close he is to the family i think this was at a wedding or something your mum sounds awesome and i totally agree with not the a-hole i have pcos and most likely can't have children because of it or i would have to undergo many treatments and even surgery to have a chance to have some when people ask me about having kids and i explain it to them they always pressure me about it come up with solutions you know like surrogacy etc and tell me to not give up hope and to try everything as if having biological children is the only purpose of a woman if i would want to have kids in the future i would rather adopt instead of trying for years and undergoing many medical treatments for a chance of getting pregnant yeah what he did say was incredibly insensitive honestly can't back anything that old man said actually it's genuinely so rude to say that and it's definitely one way to put it in perspective by op saying that and i completely back opie for shutting them down in the best way they could obviously telling him to stop and trying to get him to stop multiple times wasn't effective we had to take a you know harsher roots could have been true the old man could have been doing some big mental damage without him not even realizing so rp definitely not the a-hole in this situation posted by user doglady334 titled am i the a-hole for losing my crap when my parents decided to get a dog after i moved out i've always wanted a dog from when i was 9 to when i was 16 i asked for a dog every birthday at christmas but i was always shut down saying it was not possible i just stopped asking after that i'm 10 years older than my younger siblings i moved out a month ago to my own place after i graduated college and got a job i excitedly told my parents how now i can finally get the dog i wanted and i had an appointment with the shelter next week then my mom goes looks like a new puppy is gonna have a sister i literally freaked out a little thinking my mother was having another kid instead i found out that they'd reserved a puppy with a breeder and we're going to pick her up in a month when i tell you i lost my crap i meant it i went full exorcist and was screaming at them like a mad woman like every resentment i had just erupted and i called them some really mean stuff my parents and i were in tears by the end of it i've refused to talk to them since yesterday i got a text from my 13 year old calling me a [ __ ] because my parents were canceling the puppy reservation i then sent them a message in the family whatsapp group saying that if their goal was to completely exclude me from the family then congratulations they've succeeded i then left the group and blocked my parents my dad knocked on my door last night begging me to forgive them and to please give them a chance to talk i refuse to let them in am i the a-hole this is a very messy family situation i don't really know where to go with this one there's obviously a huge past you have with them and they've probably given you a lot of stick and made a huge deal about a dog and then they get a dog and you feel betrayed i think there was a bit of an overreaction there by you to scream at them like that obviously you can't be blamed for an emotional response to something that's obviously very heavy on your mind but honestly by the sounds of it it doesn't seem like a life or death situation it's not a make or break i feel like you cutting them off like that is the wrong thing to do so yeah you and your parents have both made mistakes here they're opening up to you they're apologizing they want you to forgive them i feel like it's not that bad i feel like this is a redeeming situation everyone sucks here regardless everyone sucks here it sounds like the dog was sort of a final straw in a lifetime of being treated differently than your siblings you were right to call them out but maybe not in the extreme fashion you did the cancellation of the deposit with the breeder shows at least some self-awareness that there was some truth in the things that you said it's okay to be mad and to need space but you may want to address the larger issues at play but in your own time op replies honestly this has been building for a time i was clearly unplanned and my parents didn't know what they were doing i'm resentful that they're better parents to my siblings you're right i think i need space from them for some time you have every right to feel some resentment if you have been treated differently all your life but don't take it out on your siblings it's not their fault if they end up not getting a dog now it will unlikely have much impact on your life but it will punish your siblings for simply being born 10 years later than you when your parents had matured you're not wrong but opie isn't responsible for the siblings not getting a dog this is on the parents and no one else i don't disagree that it's the parents responsibility but really what are they supposed to do from here still get a dog and fear opie will never speak to them again and from their reactions in the post it appears to me that they do care about keeping a relationship with opie or not get the dog and punish the younger siblings for what it's worth i think it would be crueler to say that children can have a dog put down a deposit and then do a complete u-turn then tell opie that they couldn't have a dog due to circumstances what does op want to happen now i agree they should have followed through on getting a dog since they've come so far already but again i don't think this is ops doing i think given some time they could have repaired the relationship with op while also getting the dog they further alienated op by backing out and blaming them for it in my opinion but hey i'm just a random redditer i don't know these people everyone sucks here but hear me out just because they didn't know what they were doing when raising you isn't a reason to cut them out getting your life long wish after you moved out is such a wang move no words are strong enough they just might be that emotionally dumb but people should be encouraged to grow if possible and the only way is two-way communication and they are quite visibly sorry and judging by all their actions did not intend to hurt you intent and all that you are not the absolute worst for blowing up because it seems like the pressure really blew the cap off you are absolutely allowed to be hurt and take time for yourself and all that jazz you even have the right to go no contact but you are the absolute cold soggy donuts for hurting them back intentionally that crap is never on because you wanted to hurt them so you did the 13 year old gets a pass for this because they're 13 and their brain is just nope right now we judge others by their actions and ourselves by our intentions figure out what you're intending with your actions then check whether your actions will actually get there posted by user preschool teacher throw titled am i the a-hole for telling my brother that my niece not knowing things isn't cute i am a preschool teacher my niece four has really struggled to learn her letters and numbers mostly because my brother and sister-in-law think that it's the school's responsibility i try to teach her when i see her but i've explained she needs to be ready for kindergarten next year most of my class knows their abcs can count up to a certain number etc niece has no diagnosed learning disabilities and when i teach her she's attentive and wants to learn it just doesn't stick because i don't see her often and brother and sister-in-law do screw all my brother and sister-in-law also think it's cute when she miss counts when playing a game or when she gets a letter wrong i don't play along and redirect her to learn i recently told my brother again that he needs to get on top of teaching her he shrugged me off i said her not knowing things wasn't cute and that her charm won't carry her in life this offended him and he told me that i was insulting his child i said no it's not her fault it's on him now we're not speaking my mom says i should apologize i don't think so am i the a-hole i don't think you're an a-hole for speaking up and trying to help the child i think you're a saint for doing it i think you understand the brother and the sister-in-law and i don't think there is any good way of going about this one if they're going to be in such denial and stonewall you every time you try to do anything for this kid you've obviously tried to lead by example while playing along and redirecting her learning and they continue to shrug you off i i don't want to say it's a lost cause but it doesn't look great if they've gone four years of stunting her growth in her most vital stages of learning it really doesn't speak wonders of these parents i'm not gonna lie i don't think you're the a-hole i feel really bad for the kid not the a-hole this is a form of neglect which she will have a disadvantage because of for the rest of her life just wanted to validate this my cousin went through something similar when she was really little my aunt thought it was cute to baby-talk her constantly and rewarded her for using cutesy terms to ask for and describe things so she starts kindergarten and her teacher notices something wrong and refers her to a speech pathologist and the pediatrician because she thinks my cousin must have some physical problem with her mouth and ears or some cognitive problem that needs help my aunt's raging finally gets her checked out and nope everything's a-okay my cousin was just talking that way because it's all she knew and because her mum rewarded it she got better with a little additional help in school but it set her back and made her feel different than the other kids and for no reason not the a-hole for trying to prevent that kind of thing that's bizarre there are a few cute things my four-year-old says that i'm not correcting just yet she calls breakable glass things glassable and if she wants a cup of milk she calls it a plastic of milk because her cups aren't glass they're plastic but baby talking to the point of others thinking there's a speech delay crazy those are such adorable terms ah i know right i love it she's generally very precocious and acts older than she is so i'm embracing the cute things she does when she takes a break from being a sassy butthead not the a-hole teacher here two important factors are one is the kid watching sesame street during the day and two is the parent even trying to sing the alphabet with them the biggest factor for a child's growth is that the parents are trying something to show an interest in their kid his let the school handle it is starting his kid off at a disadvantage tell him at least to have the kid watch sesame street i know my niece watches a lot of tv but i don't think she watches sesame street sister-in-law is home with her all day which i get is a hard job but typically she does nothing with my niece niece plays or watches poor patrol part of being a stay-at-home parent is teaching your kids the basics my kids both had speech issues and they still learned their abcs numbers colors etc from my husband with me reinforcing it when i was home and that was with two small children if she's being raised by the tv with a stay-at-home mom there's some serious issues this i was the oldest of three with a stay-at-home mom and she always kept my brothers and died learning in some capacity she didn't simplify her speech around us but she would stop and explain if we were confused she would happily read articles with us and she would explain higher level concepts to us by breaking them down i can't thank her enough for being so diligent in doing all of that because the advantage of having parents invested in their children's education is incalculable teacher here soft you're the a-hole your intentions are good but i personally feel which will be unpopular with some due to the intensive american learning culture that no kid will fall behind from preschool if a child is being exposed to positive and correct learning in school he or she will learn when ready i've seen this over and over and i hate when parents try to force learning on super young kids just because they don't go by your methodology doesn't make them wrong and she is their kid there's lots of you're the a-holes coming down here with lots of very long explanations and i agree with them also i didn't know too much about kids education and learning myself so i'm coming from a place of ignorance when i give my not the a-hole judgment posted by user de la titled am i the a-hole for walking out of a gender reveal party my wife 34 and i 33 are having our second child we have a daughter who's five she's been grouchy her whole pregnancy so her sister offered to plan her a gender reveal party the plan was that all the food and decorations would be blue or pink and in the end we'd get one of those special sparklers that would light up in either blue or pink to reveal the gender we went to the doctor and got her to write the results in a folded piece of paper that we passed over to her sister without looking so flash forward to the day of the party and the moment of truth comes and the sparkler turns out to be pink for a girl i don't know what came over me but all i felt at that moment was very bitter disappointment to be honest all i was hoping for for baby number two is to be able to toss a ball around with him and coach little league or watch him go on boy scouts camping trips i know my daughter is only five but i've already started to deal with the dramas of being a father of a girl and the thought of having to double up now on the neuroticism was harrowing i grew up in a house with three older boys and one younger sister i can't imagine seeing myself be outnumbered my wife grabbed my arm as people were approaching us to say the congratulations and said i need to look happier at that moment i just snapped i shook my head and walked out to my car we came separately and drove to my sister's 21 female house i start getting texts from my sister-in-law and my wife saying way to reenact their dad leaving their mum when they were 10 and 12. oh god i felt like that accusation was unfair and that i just needed some time alone i didn't ask to be flabbergasted it just happens and i don't think it's fair that they would have demanded i smile and odd for the next couple of hours am i the a-hole come on come on yes yes you're the a-hole come on i get where you're coming from i do but it doesn't outweigh the actions that you've taken in my personal opinion it's unacceptable the actions that you took i i know why you did them and at the same time i don't know why you did them it's very selfish of you to do that you're bringing a child into the world and you don't want to deal with the neuroticism of a woman why have a kid why take the chance then if you don't want to raise a girl so many questions can be brought up here your feelings aren't invalid but you've hurt more people by doing this way more people sometimes it's true you just have to suck it up smile put on a face and deal with it later it's what everyone does you're the a-hole and to do with that part about the boy scouts and kicking a ball around no one's stopping you from tossing a ball with your daughter or from camping with them or encouraging them to participate in sports you are the ones stopping them from this my thoughts exactly doesn't matter what gender your child is born you can still play games in bonds the problem here is opi's attitude to girls and women in general this attitude that op has reinforces many toxic aspects of our society if opi comes to find they don't feel a connection with their kids when they're older i would guess it's probably opie's faults everyone knows girls can't throw rights and will run screaming at the sight of their first bug on a camping trip shock horror dude is a huge a-hole for not bothering to come to terms with the fact his child might not be able to join the magical sausage club with him the odds were only ever 50 in his favor so there was a good chance he was going to be disappointed i just told my daughter to give up her softball scholarship since she can't throw and i'm selling my kayaks and trashing all my outdoor gear since my girly bits prevent me from the ability to use them forgot to add you're the a-hole and how the hell does someone feel outnumbered by your own daughters and wife they're on your team not against you opie needs to do some deep digging because it sounds like he's not ready to be a father if his love is conditional on whether he has a boy or girl really sad situation maybe if his dreams come true one or maybe both of his daughters will decide to go female to male and will both go pro mlb earn their eagle scouts and be instantly drama free and he can finally be proud the neuroticism part really got me like five-year-olds are famous for being stoic and calm at all times bastions of emotional control they are all kids of every gender are feelings tornadoes plus big manly op is the one storming off like a toddler all the women kept it together you're the a-hole and a ridiculous sexist the neuroticism you're experiencing from your five-year-old are you kidding get over yourself as hard as your life is being a girl dad being an actual girl is much harder mostly due to men like you you're afraid of being outnumbered maybe try learning to respect women and girls so you don't have to be afraid of them you need therapy posted by user in between students titled am i the a-hole for blaming my mother for my infertility i have had bad periods ever since i was 14. with bad i mean vomiting cramps that make me cry diarrhea whenever i eat something when i was 13 i begged my mother to see a gynecologist for this and she agreed i told him that surely this wasn't normal and that i wanted him to take a closer look he basically told me that some girls are in more pain than others and then i'll get used to it eventually my mother was present after that she didn't let me see another doctor about the issue and told me that he had gone to med school and he knew best i didn't question it from then on my mum always said i had a low pain tolerance my op guy says it was normal so it was clearly my problem right still the pain persisted and my mum wasn't any help she screamed at me when i was sent home from school because i cried so hard during class she rolled her eyes when i asked for ibuprofen she believes in homeopathy which is fine but wasn't successful with me and made fun of my dramatic outbursts whenever i told her i couldn't go to a family gathering because it hurt so much she was a loving mother otherwise but she just never believed me when i said i was hurt even when it wasn't about my period i almost died of pneumonia when i was 16 after getting told for a week straight that i didn't have to go to a doctor and had just caught a cold but that's for another time or that i needed to see another obgyn i'm 20 now and moved out two months ago and the first thing i did was go to a different doctor i don't want to go into detail but i have a rarish condition that causes my symptoms it makes me infertile i'm now in a stage where it isn't treatable anymore and i won't ever be able to get children not anymore the thing that's most heartbreaking to me is that he said that it would have been treatable had i come two or three years sooner so if my mother had taken me to another doctor when i asked her i'd probably still be fertile it was hard to swallow yesterday i was visiting my mother and surprise i got my period i told her i needed to go because my period was starting of course she tried to give me crap for it again and i completely blew up on her telling her how i could never have children because of her how she should have listened to me instead of blaming me for my own pain my sister told me later that i was an a-hole for blaming her when she couldn't have known about my condition i am aware that i could have gone to the doctor sooner but back then she was paying for my medical bills and if she would have noticed me making appointments on my own it would have caused a fight also i was told throughout everything it was normal and that i was being dramatic i didn't know any better i feel like it would have been her responsibility to believe me that it was really bad and allowed me to seek a second opinion not the a-hole it's a parent's responsibility to advocate for and protect their children you were in crippling pain she brushed you off over and over i'm so sorry opie she deserved that for not hearing you she deserved it big time fudging neglected her daughter's medical needs and deserved every bit of it sorry op my son a few months ago told me in the morning mommy my ear hurts well there goes the plan for the day to the pediatrician we go doctor asks him which ear and he points to the right one raging ear infection a round of amoxicillin later and he's fine kiddo was 4.5 at the time op what your mom did was horrible i've always had worse periods than my mother but she took me seriously she never acted like my pain wasn't real even though she was a unicorn that never had pain and only had her period for two days while i was lucky to be done in five posted by user snoo donuts 3102 titled am i the a-hole for not letting my friends die at my place i have an eight-bedroom house i live alone he lives in a two-bedroom house with his family he has maybe one month left to live his family suggested that he live his last few days in my place due to the amount of space that i have now as much as i love the fella i'm not a fan of him spending his last few days in my place for starters one it reduces the value of the home where i live you legally have to disclose somebody died on the property two i have to deal with the fact that my friend died in my home emotionally and three ghosts although that one's up in the air everybody seems to think i'm a dick for not allowing my friend to spend his last month or so in comfort i am more than happy to pay for hospice care or even rent a small property until he dies i just do not want him dying on my land honestly i think this is going to end up causing a rift after his passing he seems to understand but his family do not they want me not coming to the funeral of my best mate am i the a-hole what a ridiculous request from the family oh we don't want our son dying in our care or surrounded by his loved family we want him dying in an empty eight-room house with his best mate because that's the way to go hallelujah brother i genuinely cannot comprehend that that that family is disconnected from reality wouldn't you want to die surrounded by family rather than just your best mates i don't get the family dynamic going on here from surface level seems very loopy to me i think ob is not the a-hole for this one not the a-hole his family is angry with you even though they've decided to shirk the responsibility of seeing him through his final days onto you absolutely not these people are ridiculous a-holes of epic proportions most insurance policies cover hospice facilities my dad passed in a hospice facility and it was the best possible place there are nurses there who specialize in making people comfortable the doctor was so respectful i don't know why they'd want to use somebody's house when there are nice quiet places staffed for this thing edits comments below are saying medicare doesn't cover hospice in facility my dad has a medicare advantage plan so i'm wondering if this is different my grandmother also passed in a hospice facility both situations were imminent death and transferred from hospitals there are some hospice people posting below who know more anyway still highly recommend these places right now in some places dying in a hospital means dying alone many hospitals aren't allowing visitors or are extremely limiting visits plus all the staff are suiting up in ppe which can make care feel incredibly dehumanizing it changes the choice a lot a hospice facility is not a hospital while hospice can be performed anywhere a hospice facility is usually in its own building the ones i've seen are very quiet and clean and they look more home like the staff there only does end of life care if it's a non-covered death at least in my state you can have visitors in facilities it's worth thinking about not the a-hole that's a crazy request and you'd be completely in your right to refuse feel so sorry for your friend being shrugged off by his family in the last days of his life it's not so crazy considering opie also offered to rent somewhere or pay for his hospice care for his friend it's a really crappy situation all round but in the end the friend will be dead and opie will be alive and have to deal with the consequences emotionally and monetarily not the a-hole posted by user toll farmer 5734 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to do any more planning for my wedding until my fiance apologizes for sending pictures of my dick to her friends years ago i found out from one of my friends who was dating one of my girlfriend's friends they had been talking about our engagement and his girlfriend made a comment about how unlucky my girlfriend was to love someone that was incompatible with her sexually my friend thought this was a really strange comment in the context of their conversation and asked her to clarify she tried to imply what she meant but after he still wasn't getting it she asked him if he didn't know i was big he has never seen my dick so he had no idea what she meant she then proceeds to explain to him that right around the time we first started dating my girlfriend sent photos of me to all of her friends because of my sides complaining how uncomfortable she was during sex and in some positions i had no idea she shared those pictures i assumed she kept those photos to herself the same way i did the photos she sent me if i knew she would share them i would never have sent them to her i asked my girlfriend for an explanation and she didn't deny it or apologize she only said that she was surprised by my size and felt like sharing her problems with her friends the latter part of this makes sense but i don't see how she needed to send a picture to ask for advice she doesn't think she did anything wrong if anything in her view she's done me a favor because her friends were impressed i demanded an apology from her and she laughed it off and told me i was acting crazy and being kind of an a-hole for making such a big deal out of a past event which happened years ago and no one cares about anymore when she didn't apologize i told her that i was not going to help her with any more wedding planning until she did that really taked her off and she told me i was being stupid and acting like a baby we're on a stalemate right now she won't apologize and i have been ignoring the wedding planning most of our mutual friends have sided with her and tell me to let it go and stop being an a-hole my sister was also one of those people am i really the a-hole for protesting the wedding planning until she apologizes i don't think you're an a-hole in this situation how would she feel if you're like you know what i was having problems with your body image so i sent your nudes to all my friends but don't worry about it they were really impressed by your nudes how would she feel knowing that she gets the side eye from all my mates knowing that they'd seen her naked it wouldn't make her feel good wouldn't make me feel good in the same situation if she did that to me i can definitely side with opie on this one i don't understand why she won't apologize is she in denial does she not want to understand what she's done again it's that point of leading by your intentions not realizing that your actions don't show those intentions i feel like this is a genuine case for couples counseling whatever marriage counseling because they're not even at that stage yet they genuinely need to do it she needs to sit down and apologize and they need to just cover every base that's pretty much one of the only things i would do in this situation because he's tried to be open and communicate with her and she refuses to so i say the problem lies with her now opie not the a-hole not the a-hole what if the genders were reversed there would be a god damn mob of angry women demanding that the guy apologize you're letting her off pretty light for what she did opie says i don't want to break up with her over this i want her to acknowledge that what she did was wrong and apologize if she can do that i still think we can be very happy together she doesn't think it's wrong then tells you something important about her putting your foot down over wedding planning details is immature and not facing the actual issues but you are not the a-hole you are however quite the humble bragger yeah at this point if she apologizes it's likely going to be to keep the peace and get her way not because she feels bad opie do you even want an apology from her if she's already made it clear she does not respect you me thinks the fiance was humble bragging to her friends as well when she sent the pic and that's why she doesn't see anything wrong with what she did but doesn't want to admit to the humble bragging just speculating i'm not sure i agree with that sex is really painful for me and if the guy i'm with is at all above average it would be fudging awful not everyone wants to brag about big dicks if she said it was painful there's no reason to completely ignore that endop if she refuses to apologize if she doesn't apologize i don't see how i can go through with the wedding there might be a scenario where we stay together and work on our relationship if she's willing to put in the work but i can't see myself marrying her if she really thinks what she did was fine dude she's currently refusing to apologize i hope this is because she realized what a massive freak up she made and is just embarrassed in projecting i hope that she does apologize if that's not the case i hope you don't wait too long i'm not sure what my timeline would be for an apology but as long as she is willing to go to therapy if she doesn't apologize then i would still continue the relationship if she won't do either then i would ask to take a break for a few weeks or a month if she feels the same way after the break is over then we probably should go separate ways would you believe her apology was sincere at this point the fact she doesn't think this is a big deal breaker but in some states it's literally a crime should be very concerning to you you need to postpone the wedding at least and dopey replies i think i could tell if it was sincere what she says in the apology matters too if it's a i'm sorry you got your feelings hurt type of apology then no if it's a i'm sorry for what i did and i realized why i was wrong apology then yes i don't know if she would apologize or what kind she would give but i'm willing to give her a chance if nothing else at least if things don't work out i don't have to wonder if i ended our relationship too soon and without trying to work through this you'd have to be crazy not to leave someone who cares so little about you or your feelings dude you're crazy it's not that easy to just end a multi-year relationship i know there is a sunk cost fallacy but i think it would be crazy to not at least see if we can work past it if we can't then we can't i understand that it's hard but she's shown a blatant disregard for your feelings and blatant disrespect towards you as a person what she did was absolutely horrible and a huge violation of trust and consent and to make matters worse she doesn't even care she has absolutely no remorse for violating your trust and consent she sounds like a terrible person what you choose to do is absolutely up to you there's no doubt about that i just feel really bad for you honestly not only do you have to deal with her but a crapload of people are victim blaming you hopefully she changes for the better truly and honestly not just to get her way good luck with the therapy and with her in general also don't send her any more nudes she's lost that privilege and opie says i guess my perspective is at this point we're not getting married there's no timetable for it so there is time to see if this can be resolved if not i have wasted a few more weeks or months after wasting years you know i think that's fair i think that's a realistic way to go about it i do wish op all the best i think that's the most we can get out of this thread i hope you guys have enjoyed it posted by user throw ra love dove titled am i the a-hole for threatening to call off our wedding because my fiancee is refusing to shave his beard for it so i've been with my fiance for over three years we've been engaged for one of those years and our wedding is set for september 6th my fiancee has been growing a beard ever since like march or so same i haven't thought anything of it since i've seen him with a beard plenty of times before i'd say since i've known him it's been about 50 50 between him clean shaven and him having a beard i jokingly brought up his beard and our wedding the other day i said you ready to have a clean face for our wedding he looked at me and was silent for a few seconds and he finally said um i was going to leave my beard for the wedding i gave him a pretty gross look and said oh no you're not that's not acceptable i will not have that he got mad that i was telling him what to do and said that i can't tell him what to do with his grooming preferences i said that i have the right to since it's my wedding and i'm marrying him we kept going back and forth about it until i said that i would cancel our wedding if he doesn't shave he didn't budge he ended up getting really mad by that comment and left shortly after i don't blame him he's barely texted me since that happened i've told my friends and family about the situation and part of them agree with me while some said that i had no right to tell him to do that and that i was being a jerk for doing so just to clarify i don't hate this beard it's fine i think at times that it can be attractive i just don't really like the idea of him not being clean-shaven on our wedding day i feel as though the pictures will not be as classy and nice so reddit am i the a-hole in this situation if he hasn't touched the beards it probably looks something like mine in my introduction of these videos and it's glorious in my opinion i say let a man get married with a big bushy fluffy beard i love it he should love it too don't know why op doesn't love it you said you're getting married to him on your wedding day it's also his day what if he wants you to have a beard op check mate yeah that's what i thought anyway i think she's the a-hole in this situation for trying to force something because she doesn't like it and opie obviously wants to keep it communication has been going on and she's still hounding him about it she didn't have a problem with it before because it was a 50 50 between clean shaven and beard why is there such a problem now that's my stance on it opie is the a-hole you guys may have different opinions you're the a-hole as a woman you should understand the concepts my body my choice the fact you're denying him the right to choose what he wants is messed up it would be the same as him telling you what to do with your hair if you are that petty just let the poor man go so he can find someone else and by the way the wedding is about both bride and groom i hate women like you who think the wedding is only about them sorry to break it to you but it's not but what about the pictures you're the a-holo p a wedding and marriage is more than pictures that's what got me the most she doesn't even think he looks bad with the beard she's just worried about the pictures if you're willing to call up a wedding over the pictures then you're not ready to get married this it also comes across as sheer stubbornness i don't mind the beard but why won't he do what i command i'm canceling the wedding because it's meant to only be about me me me me me don't these people love their partners or respect their wishes i honestly don't get all of these bridezillas life is more than a wedding a relationship is more than a wedding also it's not only her wedding it's also her partner's wedding opie really needs to respect his wishes i honestly feel like most bridezillas don't know how relationships work and i really wonder why they're getting married in the first place if they can't compromise or respect their partner's wishes yeah they probably get married for the wedding because that's all important in life right sarcasm you're the a-hole if that's enough to call it off he shouldn't be marrying you anyway hard you're the a-hole wedding culture is so toxic these days it's not just your wedding it's his too imagine if he asked you to lose 20 pounds or dye your hair before the big day you wouldn't have it it would be reasonable to say honey would you mind trimming the beard and making sure it's neat for the wedding instead you decided to be a brat and i'm not surprised your fiance walked out it's really not cool to give ultimatums about your relationship over petty stuff it would make anybody feel undervalued and unloved you need to apologize to him chill about your wedding and consider whether you want a perfect party or a marriage posted by user throw soy titled am i the a-hole for returning my daughter's birthday present to the store my husband's 28 and i 43 had a small birthday celebration for my daughter 15 in our backyard she was able to eat and hang out with her two best friends everything goes fine until her stepdad walks out with the body of his to grab some chips and drink a bottle of beer we have a very large deck and they were sitting in lawn chairs on the other side of it yet my daughter kicks up a fuss and asks why they were there she asks her stepfather to leave and he says that this happens to be his deck not hers i tell her that's no way to treat her stepfather in response she says that she's going over to her friend's house to finish the rest of her birthday cake i was furious that she left despite my protests that she apologized to her stepdad first for her birthday i had agreed to buy her a laptop because she had previously complained about having to share the large home computer with her stepfather who likes it for his graphic design work and asks her not to keep clearing the history on it but i only agreed to buy her this on the condition that she keeps the piece around the house and the blow up at the birthday party was the opposite of that my husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn't know if this will work out i love him unconditionally in addition he was also being generous in allocating the deck where he could have said no i ended up returning the laptop back to where i bought it and when my daughter got home she called me a sellout and refuses to eat dinner with either me or her stepfather am i the a-hole i love him unconditionally what the hell you're the a-hole apparently your love of your daughter is conditional and she has almost no rights in the house also why the hell couldn't you make her a second account so her browsing history wouldn't clash with his if your kid is so against their step parent that they don't even want them at a birthday party then you screwed up big time by marrying that person did you see that age gap the husband is young enough to be the kid's older brother as if it could be any worse right i just want to know why it's a teenage girl's job to keep the peace around the house the house should be peaceful already what's going on there that a teenager needs to be an arbitrator of disputes and or walk on eggshells opie makes a point of writing that she loves her husband unconditionally even when you try to read between the lines there's nothing even close to that sort of sentiment for her daughter it's obvious where her loyalties lie this freaked me out too especially as her literal fudging birthday present is dependent on her ability to push those feelings down deep now darling don't forget mummy will only love you if you make sure creepy husband is always happy okay if anybody's creepy it's the mum because the age difference i think they're suggesting that stepdad and his friend were creeping on daughter and friends of fudging course there were there is more to this story if it's true you're the a-hole and let's review the red flags and a hollery together my husband was humiliated and sometimes he sighs and says that he doesn't know if this will work out your husband tells you that he doesn't know if this is going to work out this being your marriage he literally questions your relationship but here you are putting him over your daughter guess who will always be your family her the i love him unconditionally part you love him so much that you put him over your daughter and ignore all the red flags and him being generous by letting her use part of the deck on her own birthday what the hell is this is it not your house too your daughter wants to hang with friends and he intruded with his friends on her birthday she then left to be with her friends and your response is to get angry at her and return a gift a gift she honestly needs for school not just for fun congrats on alienating your daughter keep it up and when your husband finally leaves you since he's not sure if this will work out you will be completely alone since she won't want anything to do with you either look a kind and generous stepfather would have decorated the deck for her birthday and let's face it oh he knew he would be disturbing her birthday if he went out there that's why he did it i think stepfather is a control freak who likes to make mom choose between him and his daughter every time mom chooses him he feels more powerful because he wins opie sorry to say that you're the a-hole and this will get progressively worse on both sides you have a duty to your daughter to protect her and it seems your husband's duty is to antagonize her and you both and he's good at his job i'm sorry for both you and your daughter posted by user 55 co titled am i the a-hole for yelling at a wildlife sanctuary owner fox owner for making the fox adoption process so difficult on me ah yes because fox is just the easiest things to adopt i imagine since i was 16 i've known i've wanted a pet fox i've read up on them know they're a lot of work and that many owners are responsible and that they can be destructive but i've known i want one anyways now i've graduated with my degree paid off all my debts live alone in a house and i finally started looking into getting a pet fox i contacted a large wildlife sanctuary here one of the only licensed sellers of pet foxes in my states who have taken in many pet foxes that previous owners surrendered to them and began the adoption process that was more than four months ago and the woman who runs it constantly made things difficult for me in every phone call she seems skeptical of my intentions first i had to pay a large cash deposit to even begin the adoption process then i had to agree to have a background check and submit proof of income then i had to give a virtual home to her by some outsourced service to make sure the environment was suitable for a fox whatever that means and pay for the cost of the service ah terrible i've had at least three separate phone interviews now where i had to answer a bunch of questions about responsible ownership and get quizzed on how to care for a fox i thought i was finally nearing the end of the process when i then get told the next step is purchasing two bottles of fox urine apparently you can buy it online i looked it up place them inside my house open the lids on the bottles and leave them to sit open for a week since apparently 63 of new red fox owners surrender the fox within one year and the primary reason is a lack of willingness or ability to deal with fox odor at this point i went off on her and yelled that i've been going through this stupid process for months she has a fox i have the money why the hell can't i give you the money for the fox and call it a day instead of playing all these stupid games she just gruffly told me that she had every right to keep my deposit and withhold the fox if i chose to behave this way until or unless i apologize and agreed to her process am i the a-hole i feel like i've reasonably demonstrated that i'm willing and able to care for a fox without filling my home with foxp yes but op you do realize your home's going to be filled with fox pee when you get a fox and pee smell doesn't come out easily i own two chihuahuas i know what it's like people don't appreciate the smell of pee you won't appreciate the smell of pee she has given you more than enough warning she's given you the statistic of 63 percent surrender it within one year you are talking like a teenager that is invincible to the world that can't hurt me i'm bulletproof this won't stop me yeah but i'm gonna be different opie i think you just need to be slapped by reality for a bit buy the bottles of piss that's the price you pay for getting a pissy fox sorry about it that's just reality you're the a-hole honestly what she did is reasonable and if you aren't willing to be patient with her you're probably not going to be patient with the fox you know she's the only licensed seller yet you still yell at her a fox is not an item it's a living being my thoughts exactly you're the a-hole they go through these processes for a reason and obi is a prime example of why there's also the fact that the foxes the seller has are all ones that had to be returned by their owners it's no wonder she'd want to be as careful as possible and to make sure all the foxes go to people who know what they're doing right like how many of those previous owners alike opie who just knew they wanted a fox and read about it online a little then got one especially since the sanctuary owner even said being unable to adjust the smell is a big reason they get returned foxes are adorable but they're p reeks and even once they're litter trained a the smell is still everywhere and b they mostly get it in the box at best if op gets frustrated this easily there is no way they'll cope with the challenges of a rescue fox you're the a-hole see opie doesn't want a fox they haven't wanted a fox since they were 16 in a sense that was any more realistic than an eight-year-old girl who wants a unicorn rp doesn't want the fox they want their idea of what a fox is and their idea of how it will be to have a fox this smacks a furry vibe in the sense that the person claims to be so into whatever animal and actually has little to no idea what the reality of that animal is you are in fact the a-hole have you ever actually smelled fox if not she's doing you a favor i had to step inside a small unventilated room at a rehab facility once where they were temporarily keeping three foxes and i found it hard to breathe at all without feeling sick when you breathe through your mouth the air tastes like fox musk fox urine is so rancid that it's used on my college campus to deter free theft around christmas time it's apparently sprayed on the branches of trees that the campers think are at risk of being illegally cut down for christmas trees it freezes on them and is undetectable outdoors but if you cut one down and bring it indoors so it thaws we're warned it's a living hell i was told as a freshman that some frat boys tried their luck a couple years prior thinking we're likely to pick an unsprayed tree and worst case how bad could it be the next day people were gagging on the sidewalk outside their frat house the smell was so heinous jesus it wafted onto the sidewalk outside of it ill how bad is that posted by user delancey and essex titled am i the a-hole for telling my girlfriend don't come to the restaurants if you only plan on eating a salad because you don't make friends with salad look i get it salad is an easy go-to healthy meal that we use but i think it's a cheap and scared to try new things move at a restaurant the restaurant we're going to is american so you know what kind of food there is i'm trying to go to the restaurant with some people on thursday i tell her yesterday nights i give her time to look over the menu prices whatever then i ask if anything caught her mind she says the ricotta dumplings caught her eye and sounded good but she'll just go with the salad when she said that i made a sh noise followed by shaking my head and saying huh ridiculous ridiculous when i asked if she was serious and she told me yeah that's when i said to not even come to the restaurant and just stay home she says i'm trying to be healthy about what i eat but i work out and try to eat healthy but i'm able to eat good throughout the week so i'm able to have a meal at a restaurant i told her to do the same by the way you can buy a salad at the grocery store for five dollars instead of spending 16 on one waste of money i would leave it up to her to buy her own meal alright graham steffen geez this isn't trader joe's buddy what have we learned about my body my choice in this episode oh my god he doesn't get to dictate what she eats he can make suggestions sure that's normal in a relationship but completely saying no you can't make friends with this salad it's too expensive no you can't come to the restaurant to make friends with this salad i forbid you very controlling and manipulative op i don't get why there's a shtick so far up your ass buddy you're the a-hole calm down you're the a-hole why do you care what she eats generally speaking if you offer to buy dinner you don't police what other people order if you aren't buying you still don't police what the other people order this nice guy gatekeeping food what a catch you're the a-hole op yta okay i wouldn't go to a restaurant just for a salad but that's me you shouldn't be shaming her for trying to be healthy as she's just trying to keep her diet and still go to the dinner with your friends i know salads aren't difficult to make and a lot of restaurant salads can probably be made fairly easily at home but there are still plenty of reasons to want to try a salad at a restaurant in addition to the social aspects they could have ingredients that are hard to find or otherwise inconvenient to use at home like if it contains an ingredient that spoils quickly or maybe you want to try something new without having to buy everything yourself and sometimes people want to be able to just eat something without having to do any planning or preparation you're the a-hole some people prefer salads and restaurant salads are often way better than a grocery store bag also restaurant salads aren't the healthy option they're often not very healthy at all if you don't modify it to remove a bunch of dressings and toppings let the woman enjoy eating what she wants to eat she doesn't have to eat what you want her to that's childish and ridiculous posted by user throw number 45. titled am i the a-hole for telling a mutual female friend that she's too dark for me anyways after she said she wouldn't date me because of my height oh nice guy tips is fedora i'm five foot nine and the girl in question is five foot four let's call her lydia we were hanging out having korean bbq it was me my friend his girlfriend and the lydia who my friend's girlfriend brought along also since people will ask yes we are all black lydia talks about a tinder date she went on recently and how the guy spent his time on the phone but she was willing to give it a second shot because their texting was amazing and that he was like six foot four my friend's girlfriend is like don't complain about guys that ignore you when you go for him you should go for a guy like op lydia then looks at me and is like you're super sweet but you're just too short for me and says some other stuff but really talks down to me and i just respond oh i wasn't interested in you you're just a bit too dark-skinned for me at least for a long-term relationship and i threw that last part in just to be petty i know what was mean but just say hey i don't see a connection with you you don't gotta bring me down my friend found it hilarious his girlfriend and lydia are super angry and used me as an example on why black men are trash but i think it's fair game if you're going to judge me for what i can't control don't be surprised if i judge you for things you can't control i genuinely think you know all's fair everyone's throwing crap around here she said some crappy things you said some crappy things i think it equalized itself out you know it's not right to say that to people but it gets said regardless so everyone sucks here in this situation i don't get how nobody is seeing everyone sucks here she was crappy to you you were crappy in response you both could stand to grow up agreed i cringed colorism isn't a reasonable response to anything obviously the girl shouldn't have made a highest mark either everyone sucks here she's shallow and needs to learn to look past heights and you need to learn that just because someone else is being immature in petty it doesn't make what you said any less immature and petty also saying she's too dark for you isn't just insulting her it's straight up colourist and insulting to all dark-skinned people not cool and an overreaction racism and colorism are way worse than heightism or whatever at five foot nine you're not short and even if you were you shouldn't be hitting out at other people's insecurities in an attempt to get even especially when it's to do with something like color there is a massive issue with men and women using skin lightening creams due to people believing that lighter skin is better i'm not saying she wasn't an a-hole but you are the a-hole especially for the long-term relationship thing just like men are rejected for heights women are rejected based on skin color and weights don't do that be better and you should not be using colorism as a way to retaliate you escalated it by taking it there colorism and height are not on the same level wouldn't that fall under everyone sexier if they both used hurtful stereotypes no colorism is at a whole different level than heights he dug deep for that insults ever heard of the paper bag test or you're pretty for a black girl just google the paper bag test real quick anything darker than that is undesirable and a whole bunch of other bs he went nuclear for no reason well yeah i actually didn't know the history behind colorism kind of brutal when put in context to be honest when considering even a cursory history i would definitely agree with the you're the a-hole calls opie could have said she had bad breath or something but what he said kinda looks like a bridge too far whoa what the from 1900 until about 1950 paper bag parties are said to have taken place in neighborhoods of major american cities with a high concentration of african americans many churches fraternities and nightclubs used the brown paper bag principle as a test for entrance people at these organizations would take a brown paper bag and hold it against a person's skin if a person was lighter than the bag they were admitted people whose skin was not lighter than a brown paper bag were denied entry i'm feeling like it's uh shifting to you're the a-hole now that's uh much worse than heights given the history of that jesus didn't put it in that perspective before i was just thinking of it as an insult level but yeah the racism colorism aspect of it is much worse than making fun of him for his height posted by user can't think of a name 54835 titled am i the a-hole for taking in my niece when my brother didn't want to backstory my brother stupidly got a girl pregnant when he was 17 and just abandoned the chance at parenthood he tried to go through college but couldn't if he finished my parents would only help him get a place to stay and help for a month until he got a job i think this is enough backstory hopefully the real story is the girl he got pregnant from high school lost custody of my niece as she was an alcoholic and her parents couldn't afford to take care of her so since my brother's name was on the birth certificate they found him and he didn't want to take her in my parents couldn't afford to take care of her besides to use their retirement money so i offered to take her in i have a decent job a fully paid off car and a bit of property i'm 34. my brother blew up at me at the second i said i'm willing to take her in and i have absolutely no idea why he got so mad at the moment but after he calmed down i asked why he was so mad he said that i was trying to steal his child from him and have her call me dad i wasn't she's nine years old and whoever she calls dad is her choice but i'll let her know that my brother is her biological father my brother agreed but my parents just blew up saying i had no right to do that to my brother i now have full custody of my niece and she knows that i'm her uncle and calls me by my real name my parents are still mad at me and have turned everyone but my brother against me so am i the a-hole for doing this edits someone brought up i should add more details okay one my niece's mom was a good parent just depressed and turned to alcohol two my brother is a better person near her he is playful happy and loving and three this all started about a month ago edit two my best guess on why my parents are mad is because she hurts their ego as good parents because my brother was 17 when he impregnated her mom the literacy in this post really broke my brain i tried my best to make it legible for you guys and easy to follow but jesus rp comes across as a saint and i do understand that there's so much of a culture of people trying to save face and it really sucks when you come across parents that try to cover up you know people that get impregnated at 17 you know ah we're good people our kids can do no wrong just you know just sweep all that bad history under the floor that that doesn't exist we have a good image right opie you did a good thing by taking in your niece and raising her i don't understand why the father is still in her life and not paying child support to you or providing any monetary support to the niece but hey not my situation not my prerogative i guess i don't understand it opie you keep doing what you're doing you're doing good not the a-hole but i'm very seriously questioning your family i don't understand what's going on there absolutely not the a-hole why the hell is your brother mad at you for trying to take care of the girl from what i found out he thought i was going to have her call me dad but she already knows that i'm not her dad so what if you were he isn't being her dad yeah i realized that but i wouldn't be that rude to him and it makes me sad that he thought i would who cares how rude is abandoning your child i personally know someone who manned up and dealt with the struggle and strife and dopey says good on them and you're a good person don't let all this bs blind you from that fact thank you and i won't says op not the a-hole child abandoners don't get to be angry with people who are willing to step up to the plate and care for the child they won't thanks and i 100 agree you're a good guy my dude you didn't have to take her in but you did good on you and tell your brother to kick rocks if he's not willing to step up he didn't get to tell you crap thanks and i will if he decides to not continue to get better yes you're the only good person in this scenario and your niece is totally innocent of course and i hope you and your niece have happy lives together into beyond i like that your parents would rather prove themselves to be horrible grandparents than to project the image that they might have made some mistakes as parents really makes you think doesn't it posted by user throw away for am i the a-hole 10 titled am i the a-hole for chopping too much of my daughter's hair off my daughter 15 had really long hair that went past her waist the ends of her hair were really unhealthy and needed to be cut off she agreed to have about six inches cut off when it came to cutting her hair i realized she needed a lot more cut off because even though the hair wasn't unhealthy apart from the lower 2 3 inches it was just time for fresh hair as i started to cut her hair i cut it up to her shoulder blades way shorter than she wanted it as she realized what i was doing she blew up in a fit of rage shouting at me saying what the hell am i doing that we agreed on a certain length she then started crying and refused to let me continue to cut her hair was all jagged and incomplete one side was longer than the other i told her how dare you shout at me like that and my other children agreed with me that i didn't deserve to be shouted at like that she continued hysterically crying and wouldn't stop all night she's never had hair that short so it's a big change for her but she'll get used to it she needed the cut desperately she said that she didn't need it short and it would have been fine having just six inches taken off she was crying about how her hair was the only thing that gave her self-esteem and now it's all been taken away my daughter also struggles with mental illness so she can be very unstable she has mid-functioning autism and severe anxiety this was back in march at the beginning of lockdown so we couldn't go to the hairdressers i hope i've made myself clear and i will answer any questions i want you to all know that i love all my children very much and would never intentionally be an a-hole to them so if i am deemed one i will learn from this as of now i think it was the correct decision as her hair really needed it it was impossible to control but now she won't trust me for anything i do or say am i the a-hole well opie i think you made yourself very clear that you pushed the line with your daughter who has mid-functioning autism and severe anxiety you know what she's like you raised her and yet you still push these boundaries how do you not look back and be disgusted in yourself knowing this is going to trigger her you know what she's like and yet you still did it how can you not think you're an a-hole in this situation would you like it if someone just cut your hair you probably don't have these two things that she does so you can probably handle it better than she can can you not empathize with your own daughter that will blow up over this and you can see why she doesn't trust you anymore don't see how you can empathize with yourself that you're not you definitely suck you're the a-hole you made an agreement with your daughter and then violated it without wanting or good reason it was just time for fresh hair even only hearing your side of this story is clearly a flimsy excuse you pushed your preference on her you've had minutes or even hours to come up with an excuse for strangers on the internet and you couldn't generate one you have damaged your daughter's trust in you for no reason you're the a-hole op says all of these responses have given me a massive reality check i needed to read all of these and i'm glad i did i'm shocked with myself i don't know how to make up for it but i will try my best thank you i'm glad you've seen your wrongdoings i know that many people really care about their hair and your daughter was upset that you violated her trust have you apologized yes i have apologized and said that i was completely wrong i also explained how wrong it was for me to violate her trust in me i'm disgusted with myself and it breaks my heart to see what i've done to her i hope you understand that you don't just need to apologize for cutting her hair and violating her trust you also need to apologize for this part here i told her how dare you shout at me like that and my other children agreed with me that i didn't deserve to be shouted at like that you absolutely deserve to be shattered at it's not okay that you immediately tried to shame and silence her when she reacted to what you did also enlisting her siblings against her was seriously messed up you didn't just violate her trust you physically assaulted her do you understand that this there have literally been court cases in the u.s where the person who cuts hair against the other's will was found guilty of assault you're the a-hole it was just time for fresh hair what does that even mean hair doesn't get old or moldy it's hair chopping off split ends is one thing six inches is way more than enough to cover that you know that your daughter deals with autism and anxiety and you chose to disregard her known wishes and physically removed her hair without her express permission if a stranger had done it on the street that would be assault and you did this all for what for your personal aesthetic preferences you're the a-hole three times over i'm still so confused what is fresh hair cutting off more from the bottom doesn't grow more out of the top what the hell op says i'm disgusted with myself after reading all these comments thank you for telling me all this i have a lot to learn and a lot to do to regain my daughter's trust when i said fresh hair i meant hair that isn't brittle perhaps i used the wrong words so opie replies here as well this is definitely not fake this happened in late march at the beginning of lockdown in the uk my daughter is 15. i have learnt a lot from these replies and am disgusted at myself and i have a lot to learn in no way is this fake or made up unfortunately it seems many other parents have also made the same mistake i have which destroys their child's trust i learnt this too late so you left it almost five months presumably you've spent the last five months assuming you were right i wonder how your daughter is doing with getting an apology that late probably doesn't mean much now posted by user discorporating titled am i the a-hole for sending a girl a video with all her flaws after she posted a public video making fun of strangers context this girl isn't a friend of mine more like an acquaintance i have a number though anyways she posted a video to her public instagram publicly shaming people in the background was the song never gonna get it never gonna get it so basically she would zoom in on an overweight person in the street then say never gonna get it skinny she would show someone with acne never gonna get it a boyfriend she zoomed in on the garbage men never gonna get it a real job you get the idea i found this entire thing wrong to do and texted her asking her to remove it she said it was just a joke and that i shouldn't take it too seriously i said she should at the very least make it private so she isn't showing strangers faces on the internet but she declined saying that people were finally viewing her stuff and she could get insta-famous it didn't get that many likes only around a hundred but that's more than she's ever gotten before i felt there was no reasoning with her so i put together a 10 second video to the same tune except with her face instead never gonna get it and education since she's so busy on instagram or never gonna get it friends since she's so judgy i didn't post it online just sent it to her asking how would you like it if you saw this online she flipped out and called me a hypocrite and huge a-hole i guess she's right that i'm a hypocrite but i'm not going to post it online and i just did it to show her how hurtful she is am i the a-hole not the a-hole you didn't post it online or to get famous that would make you suck too you did it to pull up a mirror to the crap bullying that she is doing yep ropi picked up a mirror instead of a megaphone still kind of dickish the way she said things but if this person's not finding it funny when it's them then it wouldn't really make it as someone popular online either not the a-hole you gave her a taste of her own medicine and unlike her you didn't shame her publicly not the a-hole and surprised others think you're even a teeny bit a-hole-ish none of those things you wrote about her were even demeaning or superficial what she said in your clip was true as evidenced by her video she took people's photos which she probably did so without permission belittled them for their appearance and employment and used no factual information to do this all you from the few you've mentioned posted sound assumptions that she is concerned about getting likes versus being a decent human being with good morals and her snap judgment probably hinders her ability to make and retain solid friendships keep calling people out for their poor behavior you didn't post it online or share it with anyone you sent it to her as she couldn't see the impact of what she'd done until you showed her how moronic it was and she probably still didn't take it down because what bad things she's done doesn't compare to the same things done to her privilege really is a disease not the a-hole garbage men make fudging bank and they work hard i would like them to go on strike just at her house for a few weeks see then if it's a real job happened in my mum city not only garbage men but other public workers too people got fed up very fast with overfilled bins etc posted by user yogurt closet crazy 699 titled am i the a-hole for telling my sister i don't pity her after she lost two of her toe fingers my sister was in a mild car accident and two of her toe fingers were pretty damaged long story short she had to have it removed in the meantime our mother is being evicted from her home and i've been raising my seven-year-old nephew after our sister died of a drug overdose two years ago i've been helping our mother out financially by supplementing her with 400 to 500 a month and she is on a fixed income it's been a real struggle after my sister had her surgery she asked my mom to stay with her at her house to help her with her kids while her husband worked my sister and i are estranged but apparently she wanted to reconnect i was open to it i told her she could call me whenever i was going to ask how she was doing and recovering then my mom dropped a bombshell my sister and her husband sold their business to a well-known company for 18 million dollars a couple of years ago right around the time when i took in my nephew and i've been the one giving my mother five hundred dollars a month out of my four thousand dollar monthly paycheck i was ticked and yes my sister knew she eventually called me and wailing into crying over it and complaining how it will affect her at the gym i told her i couldn't care less about her toes and she could go to hell she asked me what i was talking about i said i was in a bad situation a couple of years ago and have been adjusting financially to help out our nephew and mother she had the means to help and she didn't i said i knew about her 18 million dollars she had no obligation and honestly i wouldn't have expected her to that is her money but i don't want to hear about her 18 million rich person problems she didn't want to talk about it i told her that i wished her nothing but the best but she's a [ __ ] and an a-hole and i don't want anything to do with her edits toe fingers are your toes quite unquote not the a-hole but question a mild car accidents considering loss of toes not familiar with that terminology towards that the sale of the business and final payouts could have taken a good while consider how her life changed your estrangement and what seems like obvious resentment on your behalf medical bills and rehabilitation can go on for years too i totally hear your struggle but you are not a victim as your family has leaned on you pity is one thing compassion is another not loss of toes loss of toe fingers what are two fingers the fingers of your toes you know the phalanges three per finger and toe not included a thumb and big toe so just makes sense that's the 18 million dollar question what a tough thing is see i think this puts it into you're the a-hole territory op says further down in the comments that their mother's struggles are all self-inflicted and that she's always been a giant narcissist it sounds like opie has been enabling mom's bad behavior and is just mad that the sister made the smart decision to cut them off and better herself instead of letting her mum's poor decisions keep her down although in the post it doesn't clarify if the sister was estranged from the whole family or just from op have you watched crash test videos they are fairly interesting one that i would consider mild is the half barrier tests basically at like 30 miles per hour you run into a barrier two to three feet high spanning half the width of the car even at city speeds some of the damage is crazy one factor they rate on is leg damage i had a car that could probably drive away from anything and did even after being totaled but got a c rating for crash test safety because it would cause severe damage to the left leg of the passenger in the test i mentioned i'm gonna go with everyone's sucks here i think she should have helped out and contributed if she had the means but she's allowed to be upset about losing two toes i fully agree with this but also for some reason it made me laugh i think it was having to explain to op that her sister may in fact be upset about losing two toe fingers anyhow yeah everyone sucks here this is odd i feel like this scenario may be a good example of why they're estranged neither is necessarily without blame for some aspect of this story i put no a-holes here because they were estranged and not talking so what the sister chose to do before that isn't opi's right to be upset over the sister is certainly allowed to be upset about her toes but that doesn't mean that opie is the appropriate person for her to vent to so i'm going with not the a-hole posted by user advanced prune 7754 titled am i the a-hole for not telling my dad that my mom passed away my 26 female parents got divorced after 22 years of marriage high school love and looking back at their relationship i was surprised they lasted 22 years i'm pretty sure my dad was never faithful and ultimately had his exit affair when i was in my second year of college my mom had hoped he would come back but he didn't got married a year later to a woman we all knew their divorce was messy for the last three years they didn't have any kind of contact or communication earlier this year my mum was diagnosed with an aggressive ailment which took her life last month i loved her a lot and her being gone was a huge blow to me and my brother now my brother cut all contact with our father after the divorce i still maintained contact wishing him well on birthdays and things like that i stopped discussing sensitive topics with him as i knew he would talk to his wife about them and i didn't want that i don't particularly know that woman and i don't want her knowing my business so when my mom passed away last month for a month i took a break from all social media i didn't have contact with anyone people close to me knew what happened but i didn't publicly mourn my mom finally after one month i felt emotionally ready to make a public post about her death so here my dad immediately calls me up demanding to know why i didn't tell him that mum was sick or that she died he told me that he could have helped us connect with better doctors etc etc he's a doctor he sounded angry and told me that he had the right to know am i the a-hole i'm sorry i don't think he had the right to know i'm sure there are some situations where people break up people lose contact you know things end amicably and on good terms i don't think we can know their relationship dynamic purely by this story and we don't know these people but i'll be being surprised that they lasted 22 years and him probably being unfaithful throughout that whole time i can't imagine the damage it would have done to that woman i think she was better off left alone i think it was better he didn't know don't think he had a right to know about her health he'd already done enough damage himself in the end i think op did the right thing and they had no reason to tell him just because he's a doctor just because he thinks he could connect them with better doctors etc you know he didn't have the right to it doesn't matter in the end opie made their decision the wife made her decision the wife could have contacted him and she didn't that speaks volumes also doesn't seem to me like she wanted to be in contact with him doesn't seem like she wanted him to know that she was dying she wanted to pass on her own terms opie not the a-hole he is not entitled to private information on his ex-wife especially if he's been out of contact for three years it sounds like he's feeling guilty and trying to convince himself that he could have changed the outcome but you made the best decision you could based on what you know about your mum and her wishes no a-holes here i understand your reasons for not letting him know but i can understand his anger messi divorce or not he was still married to her for 22 years and learning of her death was a shock i can't believe i had to scroll down this far to see this response for god's sake he spent 22 years with this woman they grew together and had children together he did an a-whole thing by cheating on her and leaving her but that doesn't erase their history together it seems an a-whole thing not to tell the dad that the woman who bore his children died until a month later they weren't in each other's lives but they aren't strangers or acquaintances either indeed dad isn't an a-hole for reacting to the news of his ex-wife's death in this manner the question isn't was dad an a-hole for cheating he's not an a-hole for being upset or angry in my opinion he is an a-hole for expressing that anger or upset to his very recently bereaved child i mean yes and no i don't think that it's wrong to be upset to learn your son kept the news of your ex-wife passing from you because you cheated on her years ago it's a wildly disproportionate response it's revenge at that point i don't think the son kept it from her because he cheated i think the son probably kept it from her because his mother never got in touch with her ex-husband even on her deathbed she had a terminal illness that is not the same as a sudden death a long-running illness means you make your own decisions you make up with long-lost friends you invite people to the hospital you set up funeral arrangements and you decide who should get invited to the funeral my dad went through a terrible illness too when we got to the point of him making arrangements and expressing wishes thank god he pulled through but for about a week we were all thinking he wouldn't if he had refused to inform someone or refused to inform them when a funeral would take place i would have honored his wishes too if opi's dad didn't know it was likely because his ex didn't want him to and had no desire for him to get involved in her sickness or help her out during as he said he wanted to is it really the responsibility of a grieving son to go directly against her wishes when he's still processing her death meh grief is exhausting caring for your dying mother must be excruciating maybe opie just didn't have the energy to deal with the father it's horrible i did it for my dad two years ago it is the most exhausting thing i've ever experienced in my life and you're just worn so thin that you have nothing left it's not op's job to reach out to deadbeat dad they just had enough on their plate posted by user elk difficult 3511. titled am i the a-hole for telling my grandparents about my step-siblings destroying my jewelry my mother died when i was 10. my father married a goyish woman less than a year later who promptly did her best to have as many children as she could and had three in as many years she has two older kids too who are eight and seven now six kids is a lot but it's a pretty big house i'm the only grandchild on my mother's side and the only granddaughter on either side my grandparents typically gift me jewelry and i got my mother's collection when she died as a religious custom we don't really do costume jewelry all of my jewelry is real and not cheap it sounds vulgar but my entire jewelry collection is worth about 100k easily i came home from seeing a friend and the oldest three had a pile of my jewelry on the floor of her playroom they had been jumping on it smashing it and shooting at it with bb guns yeah my father allows that apparently i screamed and got my father who came in with his wife and dismissed the entire thing they destroyed multiple pieces several of which were heirloom my stepmother didn't really care she pretended to yell at her brats she later came home with a dollar store necklace that she made the kids get me and said that it should be enough and that i shouldn't have such idols or wear such sacrilegious crap one of my necklaces is a star of david i saw reddit that i got her to repeat it so i could record it i emailed all of my grandparents aunts and uncles detailing what happened attaching the recording and pictures of the damage and then i went to those brat's playroom and destroyed one of each of their favorite toys my grandparents are now suing my stepmother for fifty thousand dollars and half of my family now hates her my father is furious and thinks that i should have kept it within the family and let him work it out i disagree their stepmother absolutely knew what she was doing it kind of sounds like she prompted the kids to do it but that's just speculation how did the kids find this jewelry i mean i'm sure op put it somewhere that was safe how did it end up on the floor in a pile in the kids playroom suspicious circumstances that and the fact that she now has pictures and video evidence of her saying she deserved to have the jewelry you know destroyed pretty sure you can put two and two together and say that this was her plan genuinely malicious evil by this woman i don't know how her husband can stay by her and stay with her now that he knows that she's done fifty thousand dollars worth of damage to jewelry because i for sure would kick her ass out if they did something like that to my children dear lord opie not the a-hole i'm glad your grandparents is suing because seriously letting her kids destroy jewelry is pathetic opie i really suggest moving all the jewelry you have left to your grandparents because i wouldn't be surprised if she will steal some maybe move in with your grandparents as well if possible because it sounds like your stepmom will make your life hell i second that your grandparents sound like great people opie move anything valuable there and have them lock it up for you i'm glad someone in their family is standing up for her i think the stepmom had no nice jewelry and thought others shouldn't have any either so she condones her children destroying other possessions but agreed move any other possessions in bank store it safely in your house or get it insured it is people like her stepmom as to why people like op can't have nice things not the a-hole she let them do that and she's anti-semitic wow you need to get out of there if your father won't do anything i can't believe i had to scroll down this far to find someone addressing the whole anti-semitic thing like you don't do that crap to religious symbols regardless but it's just wrong yeah the step monster's comment about the sacrilege referring to a star of david caught me extremely wrong that's a mel gibson level anti-semitism there posted by user environmental wall 59 titled am i the a-hole for refusing to get a tattoo like the rest of my family to honor my late brother and his last request i'm just gonna be honest and admit that we didn't really get along i don't think he was a bad person he had many friends and was close to almost everyone in our family but for whatever reason we never saw eye to eye and we weren't what i would consider friends i would see him at family events and make nice if our paths crossed but otherwise i never saw him or spoke to him and the same was true for him and we were fine with things being that way if the situation here was reversed i think he would have had the same reservations i have because he didn't view me as a friend either i'm sorry he's gone both for the sake of his wife and kids and our family but that's the extent of my feelings his dying is like a stranger dying sad but it doesn't stir any emotions inside me my whole family mom dad sister brother-in-law sister-in-law brother and my wife have all agreed to get tattoos honoring my brother and to fulfill his last request which was for our family to do something so we won't forget him it will be small with his initials date of birth date of death and possibly a heart or something else i tried to avoid confrontation as long as i could because i figured no one would understand my resistance and i was right i've gotten a lot of strong reactions from my family ranging from anger to confusion over why i just won't do it to keep the peace what makes this harder is that my mom who hates tattoos has even agreed to do it so everyone thinks that if even she will do it then i should suck it up and get the tattoo it may make me an a-hole to admit it but if i ever get a tattoo to honor someone my brother would not be that person i really don't care to have a reminder of someone i didn't like all that much permanently on my body i don't know i've got to agree with op i don't really care for dying wishes if it's for to tattoo me you know if i didn't care about them all too much i shouldn't have to be pressured by my family to put a tattoo of someone i didn't want tattooed on my body on my body i feel like they should understand that even though they're grieving i feel like ops shouldn't be pressured into it and i think they're not the a-hole for standing strong not the a-hole because personally i wouldn't do it i have a lot of tattoos but if i wasn't close with someone in my family i definitely wouldn't get a tattoo to remember them in the end it's your body and your choice to get it or not the a-hole get a picture of what they get as the tattoo and hang it in your house maybe your mom could do the same i doubt she will back out at this point i recommend getting a random tattoo that you want and saying that you got it in honor of your brother just say that you wanted to get a tattoo that would make you happy every time you look at it instead of sad say that you will remember him fondly every time you see that tattoo or some bull crap like that i bet you got all a's in literature with your ability to create quality bullcrap on the spot like that not the a-hole tell them you'll plant a tree with a plaque or do a bench in the park or something public in his memory heck do a 500 one-time scholarship in his name i would be fine with any of those suggestions as long as it isn't on my body or in my house i am good with it technically your wife is doing it so it's going to be in your house very true alright guys that's where i'm going to end today's video i really do hope you enjoyed it and maybe even learned something that you didn't know before if you haven't already please do feel free to click that like button as it really does help me in the youtube algorithm and if you haven't already and you love today's video please feel free to subscribe i would love it a lot also big big big shout out to all my patreon members and channel subscribers you guys are all up in the screen right now i love you i love your faces also i love seeing you guys all chatting down below in the comments it brightens my day to see the stories that you guys share and just the kind words you guys always have for my videos as well as everyone else in the videos i love you too but honestly your ongoing support means the world to me and i just love it so much that you guys were able to support a career for myself that i invest so much time into and you guys honestly motivate me to work harder each and every day to put more love into the videos for you guys if you guys have watched this far in the video and you haven't already subscribed on patreon or become a channel member that's cool you don't have to but there are links down below you can donate any amount of money pledge that any month cancel whenever i'm completely cool with it it's just there for you to support me if you'd like to go the extra mile and i'll go the extra mile for you guys by putting out new amazing content every single day with that said guys i really hope you have a good day night sleep bath time at work whatever you're up to today this has been marky i'll see you in the next amazing video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 23,440

Rating: 4.8939395 out of 5

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: fS67yPrVnjA

Length: 191min 34sec (11494 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 04 2020