People Share Their Most BADASS/DON'T F WITH ME Moments

like the video and subscribe right now and sir dodge alert will protect your own ass credit reddit what is your best bad ass slashed and duck with me moment i'll gladly start one day i was out fishing at a local pond with a few girls that i went to school with we had gotten close because of honest society yes they are attractive we catch a few bass and channel catfish and decide it is time to head home before dusk sets tonight mind you there is about a 150 to 200 yard path from the parking lot to the actual bond so we started heading down said path as we get about halfway down we see two local thugs who have dropped out of high school and are always around to cause trouble in our town since I'm carrying all of the tackle for non-fishermen Road / Lee / tackler barks / etc' I'm also trailing the three girls as we get closer to the thugs I hear them yelling [ __ ] like Dan mommy look at dat ass and [ __ ] it duck every single one of you right in front of the girls next the guy in front turns around and grabs one of my friends asses and slaps her right in the boob this pissed me off more than anything and I stupidly yell hey duck asses don't even ducking look at them I admit I'm a little hot-tempered and probably could have handled the situation much better but Duckett I was in the heat of the moment the tube guys start walking over to me obviously ready to beat my ass with quick thinking I dropped my tackle and flipped out my for in Smith & Wesson knife from my pocket and to put the icing on the cake I pulled out my khabar that I use for filling after this the story kind of went down the dudes were silent after that took a very wide path around us and we were on our way needless to say that was my great don't duck with me moment - copypasta from another thread I posted in and it was more of a don't duck with me because my brother is batshit crazy moment I have an older gay brother it was pretty well known he was gay in high school but nobody ever flat-out asked me about it one day two guys from the football team both juniors are giving me a hard time suddenly brother walks over and says hey leave him alone this isn't a request one guy replies shut up [ __ ] what are you going to do my brother's answer still sticks with me to this day see you should think about that I've been a [ __ ] as long as I can remember which means I got into fights every day so I know I can fight how about you can you actually fight or do you just try to scare people because you don't scare me I've ducked guys bigger than you again leave my brother alone duck you [ __ ] you're not my type I like men at this point a little crowd had gathered and they began to laugh at my brother's last comment the two guys scowled huffed and walked away my brother looked at me smiled and said sorry if that was awkward I've ducked guys bigger than you badassery no I ain't trying to duck you I don't duck [ __ ] you're not my type I like men confirmed for baddest a little over two years ago I had a total thyroidectomy to treat thyroid cancer the thyroid is a butterfly-shaped pile of glands that lay along the lower front of your neck to take them out they had to cut a fairly large slit along my neck and as you will see it was pretty gnarly this picture is about four months after the surgery and two months after this story skip forward two months after the surgery I'm back in University and mingling in a bar with some friends a prototypical bro is harrassing one of the girls in our group I walk over to try and separate them and it's immediately obvious that this bro is spoiling for a fight he's a good four inches over me puffing and slapping his chest rattling off you wanna go ad infinitum I'm about five drinks deep at this point and I'm not having any of this I calmly turned to my friend and hand her my drink returning my attention to the bro who now has a few fellow bro clan at his back I look him dead in the eyes I want to go I want to go I rip open the neck of my shirt buttons popping off and revealing a still healing slit your mother ducking right I want to Gio at this point everyone in the immediate area has shut up and turned to look those in front of me are gawking at my neck the antagonist bro mumbles oh Jesus Christ [ __ ] as he backs into the equally stunned backup brothers I retrieve my drink from my friend is on look has come forward to ask what happened to my neck the rest of the night was quite enjoyable I don't remember all of it but I do know I didn't pay for any of the booze I drank after that I also had four new numbers saved in my phone by the next morning none of them having names I recognised TLDR cancer beats brothers I have a 15 inch scar from my sternum to the top of my groin from cancer rhyme so doing this next time something like this happens long story short passport got stolen only way back home was trained from Oakland California back to Canada so I was sitting at the train station for like two hours and decided to go for a walk around that part of Oakland across from where the Raiders and A's play being naive and from Canada I had no idea what this meant it took me less than ten minutes to realize I made a horrible decision a car started driving around the block I was walking down I had a suitcase and a backpack and a large bag it was a long trip after the third time being circled around I decided to walk back and quickly that worked well till I had to cross the parking lot where this car pulled in as well now being from Canada all of a sudden the thought of all those scary stories of gang shootings and muggings from the American news got me scared I try not to profile people but the three guys who got out of the car are what we see as the typical gangster pants two ankles gold chains gold teeth driving an old Cadillac the driver steps in front of my walking path cause I've been trying to avoid eye contact he stops me and goes yo man you not from here and laughs what you got in there hey I should check it out his two friends are leaning over the car and one pulls a bat out of the car and places it on the roof this is where my instincts kick in and I lose control of any real thinking so I start yelling in the most aggressive way possible I got my ducking [ __ ] that's what I got I'm from sorry duck BC and if you think pulling a bat out means you ducking scare me you think twice you better have something more than that to get at me I step over crackheads on my way to work every morning and I stabbed a guy for pushing me in a bus line so if you want to start something ducking started now obviously I've never stabbed anyone and I'm from Surrey and I do step over crackheads on the way to work but I don't know where any of this came from by all physical appearances I'm a bit of a dork and I'm gay so I have no idea where any of this came from but my heart was racing and this is what came out so I stood there for a few seconds breathing heavy fists clenched posed in some stupid looking come at me bro pose like I was ready to battle a lion the guy looks at his other friends and then goes my Batman then gets back in the car and they leave about a minimum after they left I actually had to sit down my legs would not work I was so scared so that's how I almost died you bad mother duck er guys must love those massive balls of steel you lug around with you dude I work as an EMT and one time we had a bloodbath of a call old lady had damn near scalped herself in a fall and it was quite messy trying to keep her calm to keep the bandage on here freely flowing head after the call I was covered from the front down in my uniform and took off the top layer to reveal my undershirt which was also covered in blood too late in the day and not caring by hopping in the back of the rig and headed to base to change my apartment was a mile from the base so I headed there instead as we pull up I hear voices yelling and hop out in my now blood drenched clothes I turned around the corner and see three guys harrassing grabbing and pulling one of my neighbors an elderly woman who doesn't speak much English so I quickly take stock of the situation and grab a tire iron from the side of the rig which was slightly out of view I take a few steps and yell leave her alone or you're going to pay while my partner calls for PD back up they turn around just as some of the outside lights come on and reveal me a 5 minutes and 10 seconds skinny guy in blood with tactical pants on with a tie Ryan their faces were priceless suddenly one of them books and the other says to the last guy they're dark I'm not dealing with that dude and follows his friend I helped the lady and then realize what a scary sight I was some dude covered in blood with a tire iron coming out from around the corner into the light and angry she ended up being fine and I changed rather quickly after that police came and got what little infer the good and we were all on our way but Gautam I felt like a superhero TLDR covered in blood I scared off three thugs who wanted to beat an old Russian lady with a tyronn and good lighting so my girlfriend and I lived in a house that wasn't in the most amazing of neighborhoods and one night our backyard got broken into stole some pretty trivial stuff why in the dark would you steal Barbie tongs but that pissed me off because I like my [ __ ] to stay my [ __ ] and it's like it when people try to make my [ __ ] into their shirt so since I had moved a bunch and had previously sold my firearms I went out and bought myself a 12-gauge security pump with some bird and buckshot skip the head a few nights when I was up late getting some water in my kitchen and I hear a thump against my fence in lots of scrabbling I thought it was a cat or something but I listened a little longer and thought I heard a voice I went and grabbed yield pump-action and quietly opened my back door to stand underneath the security light and listened a little longer I heard the thump again someone trying to jump the fence and then heard someone swear loudly as they slipped on the top when they tried to come over all the way I reached up and waited the security light to turn it on then racked around into the shotgun the scrabbling stopped you have until your foot hits my grass to leave peaceably any further and I start pulping limbs with birdshot silence sudden loud noise of someone jumping off the fence feet slapping against concrete as whoever it was ran away going Oh doc Oh doc Oh doc afterwards I had a glass of whiskey and pet my shotgun for a bit before going to bed because I like my to stay my [ __ ] and it's like it when people try to make my [ __ ] into their shirt Shakespeare couldn't have said it better himself two guys at a bar one sitting next to me and the other across started ducking with me for no apparent reason they were clearly shit-faced the fact that I ordered the shitty bar pizza is a testament to the fact that I was nearing that point to at the point the waitress comes by and drops my pizza off the GAR cross from me is basically challenging me to walk outside at that moment the sad excuse of a douche next to me makes a grab at my pizza through some amazing drunken luck I see this out of the corner of my eye launched my arm out and back slap the [ __ ] out of this guy's arm they must have thought I knew martial arts because they didn't say a word after this and got up to leave TL DR don't duck with my pizza they were too drunk to notice you were a ninja turtle heart and not a single pizza was given that night nothing too impressive but here I was in student pub with a bunch of friends it was tropical slash tequila night and the place was immensely crowded with drunk students one friend of mine wasn't used to our standard of drinking and was already shit-faced when we entered the pub so we were making our way towards the bar and I was walking behind my drunk friend drunk as he was he accidentally bumps against the shoulder of one of these guys and keeps walking the guy starts yelling and my friend turns around with the innocently surprised look only drugged people and babies can have so the next moment I remember being in slow motion the guy makes a fist and tries throwing a punch I'm able to grab his wrist and hold it in place he turns around and looks up he's looking at a six point seven two feet fat guy with a big beard just shaking his head I instantly feel the arm losing force and his friends pull him away in the crowd of course my drunk friends fell of a chair not much later but nevertheless that night I felt pretty badass TLDR fat man stops a fight by shaking his bearded head he probably saw your beard and realized he would never be half the man you are and that crushed his soul enough to make him walk away well played you should have given him a light slap on the cheek to solidify his status as a [ __ ] I was living with a middle-aged woman since I'm middle-aged as well this was a fairly decent arrangement her daughter was living with us as well 17 years old and hell on wheels from what I understand one of her former boyfriends became upset with her because she had a new boyfriend he was going to come to my home and beat the [ __ ] out of her under my roof he said that if I got in his way he was going to beat my ass as well a friend of hers caught wind of what was happening and called her mother she called me the boy showed up with an audience I greeted them just by poking my head out of the door and telling them to get the duck off of my property [ __ ] gets out of the vehicle I opened the door and he can see that I'm packing a point four five in a shoulder egg I also have an 870 by the door I hear afar Lorne hi Brer Rabbit from his friend that came along to witness him beating my ass I repeat my demand that the man remove himself from my property and he complied it could have been the gun then again it could have been the shovel leaning against my truck and the fact that no one would come looking for him if he disappeared that far from town gun ownership you're doing it right well played sir you've been visited by sir dog ah this dog Oh we'll teach you how to act like a sir but only if you comment good day sir dog ah thanks for watching do not forget to subscribe for more daily videos

Channel: TZ Entertainment

Views: 319,145

Rating: 4.9726734 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, dankify, story, stories, tz reddit, toadfilms, badass, don't f with me, don't duck with me

Id: E4eQ9WxUdKU

Length: 14min 57sec (897 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 23 2019