Lawyers' Most Badass "I Rest My Case" Moments In Court

lawyers of Reddit what's your best most badass I rest my case moment guy in a divorce case transferred money to the equity preservation corporation I looked at the corporate filing there were only two shareholders knowing who they were I asked on cross-examination he denied knowing them I then asked about them by name he admitted they were his parents was the bank of mom and add the old name for this corporation when I was in law school I had to argue a case for an exam I was the last in my class together there wasn't anyone arguing against me I opened with a motion to dismiss since supposing had failed to show the judge grading me chuckled and said Touche counsel I still had to go forward but we got off on the right foot and I ended up with an A genius not a case winning moment but a motion winning one for sure think of cases like a big conflict with motion hearings as little conflicts opposing attorney was insisting that rule a meant they could do X I tried multiple times to point out rule a literally did not say that during the hearing the judge reached behind them grabbed their Rules of Civil Procedure basically a dictionary of rules placed it in front of the other attorney and said show me where rule A says X other attorney did not take the hint weed rules out loud for a brutal five minutes and gave the book back I said judge I have nothing to add it was pretty fun oh that had to be excruciating for everyone especially the court reporter corporate lawyer so I don't have cases to rest but once opposing counsel was forcefully insisting that it was ridiculous for me to expect a certain provision in a contract we were negotiating and I pointed out that this provision was standard in his own firm's contract forms as I knew from several prior transactions I'd worked on across from them pretty exciting stuff he took it in stride and said jokingly well of course it's fine when we ask for it I do mostly solicitor work so if I'm doing my job right I don't get a whole lot of these type of moments that being said I had a longtime client who was being sued and I got to shut down the guy suing him in a very satisfying way so my client had hired a guy we will call Kevin as basically a right-hand man for his company the employment contract wasn't done yet but they had an agreement that Kevin would work six weeks at a lower wage and then signed the contract and get the agreed-upon wage so the guy works decently for five weeks and then is given the contract to sign he comes back to the owner my client and says that he has some small changes he would like to make when the owner gets the contract back he finds that the small changes involved removing the duties and responsibilities section basically the job description and the non-compete confidentiality clause not only that but he has written then a higher salary than agreed and added a bunch of new benefits for himself obviously my client tells him that he can either sign the contract as it was originally laid out or he can find himself another job he takes the latter option but he starts a lawsuit against the owner wanting to be paid for the six weeks he was supposed to work which had already been paid two weeks in lieu of notice and five weeks vacation pay I got the enjoyable job of telling Kevin in front of a judge that he was not entitled to anything under the employment legislation and the only way he could get any of that would be if he had signed the contract judge dismissed the case and awarded costs to the defendant but not before giving Kevin a lecture on wasting the Court's time classic Kevin opposing counsel decided that I had coached my witness and gave him lines to repeat that he was lying short version is that he asked the witness if he spoke to me before he testified witness said he had attorney looked like he thought he had me attorney asked the witness what I told him what instructions I gave him witness looks him dead in the eye and said first thing he told me was to tell the truth no matter what he said the lawyer is never the one who goes to jail that he isn't going to jail for me and a fine lie I'm on my own attorney looked like someone took the air out of him everyone in the courtroom simultaneously looked at me only time I've smoked or laughed in court I wanted to put my feet up on the table like I was Vincent LaGuardia Gambini hands behind my head and say I'm done with this guy I had a trial against a guy who was self representing and he was constantly asking my client about conversations she had with me first of all no I'm not coaching her to lie and second of all there's a thing called privilege which means the things we discuss are not comparable it was an exhausting trial needless to say he was ordered to pay about a million dollars more than he actually owed I represented a company that was sued for breach of contract by a former independent contractor dude basically allege that my client wasn't paying him correctly in accordance with the contract during his deposition dude admits that he never reviewed any documents to make sure his allegations were true never reviewed his complaint before filing it to make sure the allegations in it were true and had no idea whether or not my client actually failed to pay him in accordance with the contract basically he tells me that he was suing my client because he didn't think their agreement was fair even though he agreed to the terms when he signed the contract the kicker is that he admitted that he owed my client money kharbut raishin he tries to flip his story and starts giving testimony that is the exact opposite of his Deb so I whip out his transcript and undermine his testimony bit by bit needless to say I won that case defendant in a bench trial for a speeding ticket said he couldn't possibly go as fast as the officer clocked him he knew this because he videotaped himself accelerating from a full stop to the location of where the officer sat his experiment showed his vehicle could only get to 55 miles per hour and not the 67 miles per hour he was clocked at the a da then moved to have another speeding ticket issued because the actual posted speed limit was 50 miles per hour five miles per hour over is probably just to find a few points 17 over is possibly reckless driving depending on the officers discretion I'd take that I was prosecuting some kid he had an antisocial behavior order which meant that he was not supposed to go to a certain street he had pleaded not guilty on the basis that he had not been there I opened my cross-examination by holding up a map and pointing at the street I said to him you went here didn't you he said yes in England we don't say I rest my case instead I looked up at the bench said no further questions and sat down it might not seem bad eh but I got the defendant to admit the offence with one question that never happens IP lawyer deep in a set of terms and conditions on a website our clients details name and contact details well a stood so it is very evident that they just copy pasted our clients legal terms and conditions and missed a couple of details they needed to change I was handed the matter did a quick ctrl + F for client details and it was an open-and-shut case not really that impressive but saved me hours of time going through each term one after the other noting exact similarities for a letter of demand welcome to the world of law where we spent millions on technology but people don't know how to control + F or use a simple spreadsheet my wife and not me and it was during sentencing Mr defendant local gang boss you stated you are not and have never been in a gang that's correct do you have any tattoos yeah I have a tiger on my cuff and one on my chest that says GB for life what does GD stand for Gangster Disciples but I mean no further questions you honor the deeds for life that would have been an easy out tbh I am relatively jr. so I'm hoping to beat this one day I defend professionals and brought a motion to dismiss a case on the basis that the plaintiff could not prove my client was negligent as she had not served the required expert evidence as opposing counsel and I waited for our motion to be heard we were sitting in the courtroom the judge who I did not know and who had not read our materials wanted to talk to the parties of a short trial which was to be heard after our motion was argued that matter was also a professional negligence matter and the plaintiffs had no expert support the judge then spent ten minutes explaining that he had practiced in professional negligence for many years and was well versed in the evidentiary requirements to prove the elements of professional negligence in fact he said I very rarely used the word impossible in this courtroom but it is impossible for you to be successful without expert evidence our matter was then called and I reveled in explaining to the judge that he was about to hear a motion to dismiss a professional negligence case on the basis that the plaintiff had no expert evidence I one complaining witness accused my client of harassment stalking said she told him numerous times that she wanted nothing to do with him my client claimed they were dating but whenever she got mad at him she'd call the police and say he was harassing her on the stand she testified that she never dated him never invited him into her home wanted nothing to do with him she presented a photo on her phone of him sitting on her porch to prove that he had come to her property I asked the judge permission to look at the photos before and after the porch photo for context Gill had dozens of photos of the guy who was clearly her boyfriend I showed her one such picture this is Mr so-and-so right yes in this photo he's on the bed yes the bed is yours yes the bed is in your bedroom yes you took this photo of him yes he's smiling in the photo yes and in this photo he's wearing your brassiere yes no further questions your honor I was in traffic court one time and saw a lawyer own a cop with words the cop had previously testified that the weather on the night of the traffic stop was heavy rain and winds so strong that the defendant could only open his window three inches and that the car had stopped on an area with very little shoulder forcing the cop to approach from the passenger side not the driver side the cop had then testified that he smelled a strong smell of alcohol on the defendants breath when the defense lawyer got up he repeated what the cop had said almost verbatim and asked how he could have possibly smelled alcohol on the breath of someone on the other side of the car through a 3-inch crack in the window on a night with pouring rain and strong winds the cop sort of opened and shut his mouth a few times squirmed around in his seat and said that's just what I always write in my log to remind me that it was a DUI stop the judge threw the case out no motion to dismiss needed then he took a break and called the traffic prosecutor and the cop into his office I'm guessing it wasn't for a nice spot of tea and some scones terrible people had stolen all of this little old lady's money they said it was a gift but their only evidence was a document in the BD person's handwriting that was allegedly dictated it said September 2012 no day just the month clearly the rogue had forged that when she found out about the lawsuit and not remembering when she had stolen it she hoped if she could guess within the month no one could challenge her so I'm questioning her about it Exhibit B as the little old lady's bank record now that withdrawal at the bottom is that the alleged gift yes can you read the date of that transaction for me the 25th of August 2012 thank you my client and his wife were woken up one night because people were trying to break into his house he fired two warning shots as his wife called 911 the neighbor also called 911 when the police got the neighbors call that there were shots fired the police sergeant radioed the other officers and said he's going to jail tonight referring to my clients so obviously even with signs of someone trying to break in and his wife calling 911 for help dark the officers arrest my client for endangering his wife by shooting inside the house nowhere near it gets to jury trial and I start to go off on the police sergeant about why she would say that before an investigation and before she even had any idea what happened the sergeant had no idea how to respond and literally just sat there staring at me for a solid two minutes before saying anything even the bailiffs were audibly laughing so I'm fighting a DWI case and the cop is a lying liar who is telling big lies about what signs he saw on the field sobriety tests that my client was allegedly intoxicated the state had not moved expeditiously enough to have a copy of all of the evidence in the case so we got him up on the stand talking all about how my clients looked on the horizontal gaze nystagmus I test then buried him with his own body camera footage which he thought had been destroyed it wasn't the judge the newly elected Democrat in Texas made findings on the record that the police officer had intentionally lied and misrepresented the truth the state still tried to fight the case but it came out the right way I have one about a lawsuit against the owner of Mexican restaurant for not paying his employees and keeping the waiters tips he was just a terrible all-around guy he created these fake handwritten schedules and payroll records going back years to try and prove that his employees didn't work but a few hours each week and were paid for what they did work it was difficult to prove they were fakes but we managed to track him during his deposition I made the guy go through random bits of his work schedule and asked him to confirm they were correct we did a random week in February March April then we got to May so here in early May you had two servers working every night one hostess one bartender and two cooks yes and that didn't fluctuate you didn't have a need for extra staff on say weekend nights no it was very steady no matter the day what about on this Wednesday how much staff did you need just the two servers my hostess the bartender and two cooks the same as every other night and if you would indulge me what date are we looking at the fifth of May okay so it's your testimony under oath that you had the same staffing needs on May the fifth as you did on the fourth of May and the 6th of May yeah so you are comfortable telling the judge you didn't do extra business on the fifth of May yeah or the 17th of June or whatever date you pick it was always steady you have no problem walking into court and telling the judge in the jury under oath that your Mexican restaurant didn't need any extra help on the 5th of May that these schedules and payroll records you've produced are 100% accurate for Cinco de Mayo you are totally comfortable with doing that yeah I owe the case settled within a week [Music] [Laughter] [Music] Oh

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Id: DIB6d7adFaM

Length: 16min 38sec (998 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 26 2019