Mother is furious because I stole my sister's boyfriend

[Music] my sister olivia and i have always had a strained relationship growing up she was always the golden child while i was pretty much ignored something broken must be me i'm the youngest olivia took my things what am i complaining about i have plenty of things as it is etc i have countless examples of being treated unfairly growing up and could write a book but i'll put in a few of my back quote favorites just so you can get some sort of idea where i'm coming from here my sister's birthdays were always huge affairs with cakes and balloons inviting the whole class and family over etc i never ever even got a cake i got a card with 25 in every birthday just sat there on the kitchen table olivia got piles of presents that were taller than her over exaggeration but you get the point i asked for a party for my 16th and my mom flew off the handle told me that she wasn't having my piece of friend stealing and ruining the house even though two years prior my sister's friend stole 30 dollars from my mom's purse and olivia still got huge birthday parties every year olivia had friends over one night i was never allowed my back quote piece of friends over while my parents were at a wedding over the weekend they got drunk i was never allowed to drink trashed the house and even took out my dad's car whilst drunk and got it scratched who got the blame me apparently i should have called and that it wasn't olivia's fault as she just been drinking with friends and she can't be blamed for things she did whilst drunk mom was livid and told me that every time they have to leave for the weekend i have to go with them now as i can't be trusted to behave in a mature manner i finished high school with excellent grades mainly a's but i had one see my sister got these and one see in everything my mom called up everyone in the family to celebrate her barely passing all of her classes had a party for her with all family and friends i bring my grades home and ghetto i see i don't know what i got my hopes up for walked out the room and said nothing further on it i attended a family barbecue with my boyfriend at that time damien it was pretty pleasant regardless of my sister's petty jabs throughout the evening some money goes missing and everyone blames my boyfriend my mom throws wine over him and goes to physically attach him screaming you two are just as bad as each other we leave i apologize profusely extremely embarrassed in front of my entire family two weeks later sister comes clean and admits she took it and was planning on paying it back my mom messages me telling me so in a casual manner and adds for me to cover for her because she didn't want her to be embarrassed no apology just more bs my mom and olivia are both big women always have been i've always been slender but perfectly healthy and have always been made fun of my mom thinks it's appropriate to draw me up a diet plan which is in no way healthy when i don't follow it she tells me that i have to or my sister won't speak to me anymore as i make her feel insecure about herself i say no way in hell mom tells the rest of the family i'm bulimic all hell breaks loose i managed to get a part-time job in high school my sister constantly made jabs at me working as a berger flipper saying i was pathetic etc should add here she always got an allowance twenty dollars a week i got five dollars a month and was told i'd get more when i learned to back quote spend responsibly even though i'd actually saved up six hundred dollars for driving lessons by the time i'd finished high school my allowance stopped when i got my job even though she still gets twenty dollars a month from them and when i eventually set back it's more than you'll ever do she burst into tears and told my mom mom comes back in and slaps me in the face she then calls up my workplace and told them god knows what the next day i'm told they'll have to let me go my mom has acknowledged this and has told me in the past i was in back quote accident and that her and my dad didn't want any more children as you've probably gathered my relationship with my family on a whole is trained a couple years ago i started working for the same company as olivia we weren't working closely together but would run into each other sometimes as it is a pretty small building she spread petty rumors around the workplace saying that i'm better she was back quote our parents favorite and that i was stalking her most people just thought she was nuts and laughed it off with me though a few people actually believe her and it makes working with said people pretty awkward well in 2011 jacob joined the workforce he was a nice guy and we eventually became close he was shocked to learn that me and my sister were even sisters because of how different we looked now my sister laid it on really heavy with jacob had flowers sent to his desk asked him out on countless dates sent him nudes via company email she was disciplined for that but jacob being the sweetheart he has told them he was fine so long as it never happened again jacob has always been very clear with her i don't think he could have been more clear to be honest he showed me messages between them where he'd flat out say olivia i'm not interested please stop this you're making me very uncomfortable to which she'd reply i always get what i want baby i never expected to fall for jacob but eventually we became more than friends and went on dates i told him about my past with my family and he was appalled he stopped talking to my sister altogether and said if she continued behaving inappropriately towards him he'd go two hours with all the back quote evidence he'd received over the years she stopped after this but still had no idea we were dating we kept our dating a secret from her for three months to avoid the fallout that was sure to result from this when she found out three days ago awkwardly at work she stormed right up to my desk and screamed be at me then proceeded to storm off out and wasn't in the next day yesterday she left everyone along long three-paragraph email telling them how i'd always been obsessed with her life and now she'd stolen her boyfriend she calls me a bunch of super appropriate professional things before closing with i'll be in to collect my things on monday so i assume she's quit no one at work has heard anything from her since the past three days have been hell my mom found out and i'll spare the details of her fall out but it wasn't pretty long story short i stood up for myself she didn't like it waited until i went to go to work the next morning waiting outside my house to throw what she claimed to be water over me i'm more than ready to cut these people out of my life any steps i should be taking besides telling them i'm done with them thanks for reading this is all over the place hi maybe i'm going to get lots of hate but i just need to tell my story i'm the oldest of four children raised by two respected and religious parents in my household there was no substance no physical v no sv my father is a very successful businessman the most stable and established in his family also a leader in his religious community guessed it he is an ark my mom from early childhood always obsessed to be perfect never had any trouble in the family always helpful to her community gave up being a doctor because her brother said it was too high level for her married my dad because he was charismatic and stable she's the codependent overbearing from a very early age my dad made it clear that we were special because we are of the best religious community because we are smarter than average people because our bloodline is superior my mom was the scapegoat in the relationship and i was the supreme golden child i showed signs of early intelligence so my dad put all his efforts in coaching me teaching me that i can be better than others that no one can stop my success that i'm more deserving than others all while belittling my mom and saying how less intelligent she is my mom she was overprotective always checking who my friends are not letting me socialize too much repeating my dad's words and saying i should not make too many friends because outside people are inferior and not good for me after me there was my sister she was a forgotten child after her my brother also a golden child because he is a boy my younger sister was born 10 years after me so also kind of forgotten neutral i've always been book smart quick talker quick learner high achiever at school overly confident thanks to my father even good in-house chores good manners praised for my achievements my younger siblings felt immense pressure every time i entered the room i knew it my sister especially she was craving the attention i got and all she got was getting ignored because she didn't perform as well as me at school i was social but felt like never being myself i couldn't say how controlling my parents were for fear of being judged and i couldn't form healthy friendships because any friend i had my mom would remind me they were headed for hell anyway as years past i kept getting all the attention from my parents good or bad by the way and because i was overly confident thanks that at around 15 started to doubt and reject what my parents said about being superior and whatnot that made my dad furious even though he never raised his voice so he kept telling me i was becoming impure my heart was being dark from interacting with non-religious people that i was obsessed with boys and six i should clean myself at the time i never even held a boy's hand that my mom was rubbing off on me that i was not a good child and only selfish because i still wanted all the attention and the praise i obsessed about studying even more i cut off people i enrolled in a very competitive school program i stopped caring about my looks only focusing on getting the best school possible and i achieved even better than anyone expected far better i got accepted in a top school got ranked in the 100 best engineering students nationally in france in paris that day the real breakdown happened for me my dad who was on a business trip called me it was not to congratulate me but to tell me to refuse the offer of the paris school and just go to the local one i shouldn't care about worldly things if i was religious right i should accept my father's advice if my heart was pure right anyway i would forget about it in a year what's the point of getting emotional these were his words with no emotion i was crying and sobbing and saying how much i invested to get accepted but he didn't care my mom she said she knew i would be like that that studying too much is no good for girls and my dad should never have put so much hope in me because anyway my purpose was to get married see the replay of her own demons because she didn't go to medicine school and went for a lesser one only to get married soon after my siblings criticized me for even thinking of moving out for a school that good religious daughter shouldn't think about this that i forgot my values every outside family member and school friend was calling me to congratulate but i couldn't pick up the phone and tell them what happened what about my image what could i say oh you know i don't really care about this super school i got i'm just gonna stay close to my parents when they saw me super obsessed for two years so i cut off everyone acted like i never saw their message soon after i heard my father was bragging to everyone how i got accepted in a great school but i was such a good daughter that i listened to him and went to the lesser one in our city going to this engineering school broke me i realized i had no sense of self i had focused so much on achieving and had nothing else for myself but even that my parents didn't recognize they wanted me to be the perfect religious child and be ready to give up anything the moment they said so because a good child listens to their parents because they raised me so well what more could i want as i went to eng school i tried to socialize more to avoid depression that didn't go well my mom was calling messaging looking into my stuff all the time started calling me a res a w to the non-religious men a low life craving attention from these atheist scumbags my dad said i was impure and too focused on worldly things that my intentions were dark my siblings said i was disrespectful of my parents investment i had never even dated at the time my only sin was to journal and my mom reading it so she thought i was acting every emotion i had for men it was like constant noise and after two years i couldn't take it i felt so empty i just wanted to disappear i had no goal anymore i couldn't even socialize i just hoped i could disappear because my heart was impure anyway i could never be the child my parents wanted and invested in every woman in my community was okay why was i the only one depressed from it then i planned my escape dying or disappearing that's the same anyway i wanted to find myself so i saved up my money and flew 10.000 kilometers away it was a crazy experience i realized how little i knew about me i had to cope with the guilt of disappointing my parents i had to learn how to interact with people mostly i also understood how small i was in this world and that i was not entitled to anything for my family this was chaos my mom cried for the first time ever in front of my siblings she didn't even cry when her dad died she nearly suffered a heart attack or i was told crying about how she lost her daughter that i had left them my dad called the police until our religious leader told him he cannot catch me like that that i will come back when i'm ready my grandmother said i was probably pregnant and trying to hide a child my aunt left me messages to say how horrible i was my parents had always given me privileges over everybody and that's how i repaid that i was a selfish ungrateful bee that she knew it formed long ago my siblings never contacted me when i came back the first time the family dynamics had changed completely my forgotten sister had become the new golden child even though she was achieving less than i did and not keeping the image my parents wanted she was the good and pure daughter i was not she had blossomed into a more confident self that she was also spewing all the hate she kept inside for years especially to me she was telling me how much she despised and hated me for using all my parents attention and still leaving my brother he was just a copy of my dad entitled overly confident smart and manipulative he wasn't achieving my academic success but smart enough to get in a good school my youngest sister she used to love and admire me but after i escaped and came back she had seen my mom get so hurt she couldn't see me like that anymore she still blames me for hurting my parents and always wants me to come back for good i never intended to live with my family permanently so i went away a second time of course my dad tried to manipulate me but i kept strong and departed again it's been three years now i have fluctuated between no contact and some interaction but i can see my parents always hoping they say i'm mentally unstable that i should seek therapy and i will come back and be a normal child again thankfully i have my own established life on the other side of the world so every time i go to their house it is temporary but i have seen my parents always blame me and create a narrative that i stole from them and lie dtc so i know i can never have a healthy relationship with them eventually i know i will need to go and see my siblings hate me except for my youngest sister who has conflicted feelings once i go nc she will probably hate me too i feel like me going away was the best thing for my siblings because i removed the pressure to achieve but i can't blame them for resenting me you guys who were sg probably felt hate reading this i'm a pretty selfish person and i know it iwss groomed to be selfish so i know i did wrong to my siblings in many ways but i tried to expose the problem by escaping and all i got was hate for disrespecting my parents today i have a great relationship with a man who doesn't expect me to be anything but me i know and feel he isn't an ark and i'm working every day to not be knock with him i'm afraid i will turn out not like my dad or overbearing like my mom i just want to be healthily confident and not despise others like i do sometimes i want to know i'm just normal and my achievements are just part of me that status is not everything that my children should have their own life and i cannot expect them to achieve [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit sister, reddit sil, reddit entitled family, reddit mother, reddit family, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ sister, r/ sil, r/ entitled parents, r/ parents, r/mother, askreddit girl, askreddit sister, askreddit sil, askreddit enetitled parents, askreddit mother, askreddit parents

Id: -cySFn6x8qE

Length: 18min 42sec (1122 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 09 2020