Mother in law expects me to be her maid

[Music] so earlier this year my husband took some time after we had our daughter to try and reconnect with his father nothing major just a few lunches here and there things were going great his dad offers to help my husband find better work we made the biggest mistake of our lives and agreed to temporarily move in with them enter my entitled mill note she is not my husband's real mother but still claims him as her son they had already convinced his brother to move in and she had been trained like a loyal cabana boy her only interested our moving in was the baby everything was about the baby but man did every day grow worse and worse it started with little things like the trash not properly being taken out whatever that mean i mean you pull tie and toss in the outside bin simple not with her there was an addition four to five steps and she changed them so often i'm not even sure what she even wanted she refused to clean up any messes my cats made but we were expected to clean up behind her ankle-biter dogs she made me give my girls up to a friend because one got scared and [ __ ] in her kitchen her dogs do this all the time but she's a cat and should use a litter box her dogs were not bad dogs i actually enjoyed them unless they were tormenting my cats i tolerate the small stuff and then she tells me you're not allowed to cook anymore because i don't like your food and if i don't like it no one else does my husband loves my cooking but hey apparently i don't know my way around a kitchen well i'll let this slide because my husband really needs this job and this goes on for a month the friday before christmas my grandmother is admitted to the hospital and so we start taking numerous trips thinking nothing of much then the day after christmas all hell breaks loose she starts starts pulling me to the side and telling me how lazy my husband and i are and that you're contributing to the household i told her yeah we have been seeing my grandmother who is practically on her death bed it doesn't matter your bill is not a slave and neither am i your grandmother is not an excuse and can wait so you will do what i say when i say i tell her no on christmas i tell her that we had a family dinner to go to and we would go back to our old place and have a small dinner with our old roommate since he didn't have anyone to spend christmas with that was a mistake she blows up my phone that night to tell me how horrible of human beings we were at this point i tell my husband something has to give because i can't live like this lo and behold my husband gets a job offer the next morning in the very town we had moved from the rumored practically begs him to take it so he and i can get out of the situation he would love having us back done so we go back and pack our things we choose to wait on them to return home since they were currently out we figured we could explain what was going on to his dad and has expected the mill busting and demands a meeting her speech goes like this i have been nice and i'm tired of it neither of you do anything and that's going to change i have sciatica migraine headaches and i don't have meds currently for my depression you should be doing everything for me because i'm practically disabled i'm also going to start taking your food stamps card as payment for my services because you had no right to spend them on your roommate we didn't and i know you're conning us into giving you money we never asked her for anything monetary my husband responds she does laundry every day she keeps the bathroom spotless and she takes care of our child and you say she does nothing being a mother isn't a responsibility and doesn't count my demands should come first his dad who looks like he's stuck in a trap chimes in that when my husband gets a job we can start looking for our own revenue and my husband doesn't hesitate to say that he starts his new job monday nice pay insurance the works dad is happy upset it means we will move back to our original residence but happy bill however stays quiet while he tells us to stay the night and we can figure things out in the morning we aren't even in the living room five minutes and she comes out and slams a basket of my daughter's things on the couch and tells us to get the f out it's around 11 p.m and we have a four-door car and there is no way we can gather all of our stuff she rants and rages about how we use them and says now who is going to clean my house and who is going to take care of me his dad talks her down and after she seemed calm i offered to let her spend some time with the baby if she liked seeing i wanted to defuse the situation and try to keep the peace she glares at me and tells me i don't want anything to do with her i want all three of you out she's not my granddaughter so i don't want her take her and get out i didn't know what to say and i knew my husband and i could not stay despite his father's offer so i made a few phone calls his dad goes to work while my husband is loading what he can in the car i tell him i'll meet up with our friends and have them follow me to get the rest sure enough as soon as his dad is out of the house she starts screaming for us to get out the situation was extremely hostile as i tried to go around the house getting everything i could think of that belonged to us she followed me around telling me i was a horrible mother and i would burn in hell for doing this to her i'm thinking do what lady my husband gets a better job and with the bad guys my husband had filled the car completely and it was time to load up our daughter we knew we couldn't cross paths with mill trying to get her out so we actually had to sneak her through an open middle room that bypasses the living area where she was wailing and throwing a pity party for her father who was down from kentucky we successfully snuck baby girl out without any confrontation and she and i leave while my husband keeps an eye on our things my dad and a close friend follow me back after dropping off the first carload and leaving baby girl with close friend's wife all of our stuff and the baby's things are in the yard needless to say we got our things and got out of there my husband then told me that after she realized the baby and i had snuck out she picked the lock to our room and started screaming for him to get out she tried to barricade our belongings and threatened to call the police his brother apparently after being quiet finally stepped in pulling her away and allowed him to move everything in the yard he said his brother had noticed she had been grabbing things we missed and had taken a few things from our packed items and was hiding them in her room when she came back to scream at my husband he slipped in her room and bagged everything he could that she had taken and put it outside she still managed to take some of our belongings including the personal crocheted blankets my gaming friends across the country had made and mailed me i'm still trying to get those back btw two days ago she text me telling me that me sneaking baby girl out without a goodbye was low i told her that she created the situation and that was on her not me i felt guilty afterwards because i had denied the goodbye to baby girl's uncle and great grandfather who were relatively innocent in all of this hence why i wondered if i had been an [ __ ] hubbs has talked to his father but he won't agree to meet or talk with us unless mel can come i said my piece on that and it's now up to my husband i have never seen such an entitled parent and i know she was more entitled to herself i mean what kind of parent is so entitled in believing she can turn her son and daughter-in-law into some type of crazy maid service and expect them to ignore their four meters old baby my husband got a better job and we needed it and just because we had to move she goes ape [ __ ] and not only claims her lack of love for the child but throws us out on a cold rainy night two days after christmas she was a major control freak but personally i think it's an understatement i only hope we can stay in touch with father-in-law because baby really deserves to know her grandfather update phil has blocked contact and they are refusing to return some crocheted blankets that were made by people very dear to me all offices are closed and we can't do anything legally to get them back i feel so sick right now because i'm sure shall throw them in the trash my husband has made his decision and said that if they want to severe the relationship then fine if we don't get the baby blankets well take them to court i'm not sure what to do and i can't make phone calls until tomorrow so i'm a mess update turns out the courthouse will not approve the rate for county they are now saying that we have no choice but to take them to court we are now looking for a lawyer to assist on anything we can slam them with update we finally were able to save enough to pay the lawyer to take this issue to court but my husband is having second thoughts so much has happened in two months she not only attempted to call dhr on us but also attempted to have my massage license barred luckily i took some advice on the child services matter and it was quickly dealt with as for my licence issue well it took some digging and i had to talk to a few people but i finally was able to piece some of what occurred together apparently she claimed at first i was practicing without a license which then led to the claim that my license was a fake one the massage board had no issue clearing that up then i was accused of malpractice at my place of operations at the time i had no place of operation i wasn't even practicing i was still unsure if i would even use my license at the time the only people besides my husband and i who even knew i was considering using it was mill and phil so it's petty things just left and right last night hubby was able to talk to his brother for the first time since it happened they fixed his phone up to where he has no privacy they are monitoring his text messages and his phone calls he must answer every time they call his name or they demand the right to enter his room he isn't allowed to speak to anyone without their permission he isn't even allowed to speak to his mother little longus he has tried to find the baby blankets but that's a no-go he found some of our things but since he's being monitored like a convict we're not sure we can get anything back my husband doesn't want to persuade because he doesn't want any more trouble i personally wish there was a clear law of violation that would send these two to jail i'll let you know if anything changes i haven't given a lot of closure on anyone interested on the turnout and here we are four months later and my little girl just keeps getting bigger her father and i exhausted several resources looking for legal assistance but there was nothing in our budget also with the v stirring up i ended up being laid off i'm a licensed massage therapist so money has been tight my husband and i agreed to simply let the issue go and just cut them from our lives completely everything was going great until a week ago my mill found a way to contact me despite my block and being the person i am i heard her out i know this was a mistake she prattled on about how sorry she was and how she deserved to see her grandchild and she wanted to fix it i really didn't want to hear the entitled bs since she is oblivious she did anything wrong with excuses for every action i feel this is for my husband and his father to discuss and my husband is pissed i even spoke to her we had peace and now i have let her wheel her way back in she's already demanding my husband remove social media post unblock certain people bring baby girl to visit i screwed up bad and i don't want to deal with my karen mill i could tell stories of being in public with this woman that were just embarrassing and infuriating i'm at a loss and the one thing that got under my skin was her statement you shouldn't be so ungrateful after everything we did for you and it's selfish you're keeping her away from us with this pandemic going on family needs each other and we were supposed to be family what if one of us dies from corona it just constantly rings in my head and i cringe every time i hear it i can't understand why she's so entitled to think she did nothing wrong and all of this is our fault and we're the ungrateful and selfish ones it almost makes me wish she would catch it just for the sake of karma and that's not me i'm letting my husband deal with it but for the sake of getting our property back and letting him decide if he wants to work things out with his dad i guess i'm stuck i'll update if anything changes update i have shut off contact and am letting my husband handle things he has told his father if he will return our things we can meet in a neutral location once this pandemic is over they will attempt to talk things out while she and i remain silent it's their fence to mend not ours if one thing is said or done that he doesn't like the meeting will end immediately she has one time to duck up and sperm a band he is willing to do this for the sake of her knowing her grandfather but has said to hell with that sea whale wife of his and her narcissistic bullsh she can catch cove jump off a cliff and die we know this is dangerous ground but he wants to establish we are in control not her and even though phil is an enabler my husband still wants to try and be the better person and give him and tim alone the chance myself is having an engagement party on saturday her fiance bill parents are hosting last week mill had tried telling my husband that my daughter md she is my husband's step-daughter was not invited as my mill is not the one hosting this event i checked with sil to make sure that it was okay for md to come and still confirmed that it was i've been expecting mill to say something about it ever since she didn't say anything about the engagement party but she did say something about the family dinner that miller's hosting on friday at the house thursday night right as i'm getting ready to leave to go pick up md mill says to me i hope md's not coming tomorrow there's going to be too many people so bill's mother father grandfather brother brothers wife and kids two of bill's cousins and their significant others are welcome and of course my phil sill and bill as well but md isn't and while i do realize that is a lot of people it feels like since mill couldn't exclude md from the engagement party she had to find another way to exclude her and make sure that i know that md is only welcome when it's convenient i told d h that i wanted him our little son ls md and myself to stay at a hotel friday night and none of us attend this dinner mill is throwing if one eight years old girl takes up too much space clearly my mill needs all the space she can get and without me dh and ls as well as md mill will have plenty of space for my bill's entire ducking extended family or close enough to it i can't stand the thought of having to sit there at dinner and act like everything is fine worrying what bitchiness mill might say and md might hear i also believe that mill doesn't really care if i'm not there or even if dh isn't there but she will care if ls isn't there the last time she tried to pull some bs about md not being welcome at the house for one reason or another we did the same thing in dh ls md and i all went to a hotel mill may never grasp the concept but as far as i'm concerned we are a package deal every time she tries to exclude md she'll be effectively excluding her own biological grandkids as well so far that's only meant ls but i'm seven months pregnant right now i won't let mill act like it's okay to treat md differently than any of my children or to teach mills b.o grandkids that it's okay we did not attend mill's family dinner at the house that friday we went to hotel and had a little family christmas all our own aside from the heavy steppers in the room above ours it was a fun little night by the time we got home saturday morning my mill had gone to work my phil and sil had both begged me to come to the dinner at our house on friday and because i had been at work my husband told them both all of my reasons for refusing to allow my mills behavior and in the end phil and still understood my position apparently cell also had a long discussion with mill during which she so told mill that if she had been in my position and her fiance had a child from a previous marriage and my mill had tried to say his child wasn't welcome then my sill would have done the exact same thing and refused to attend sill's engagement party saturday night went well mill was there and was on her best behavior she had apparently been concerned that i would not allow my daughter to open the christmas present mill got for her a pair of boots actually quite nice now i have strong objections to my mill trying to exclude my daughter obv but i'm not so petty as to disallow any gifting besides i knew they were nice boots and i'm poor so no way i'm about to get rid of a pair of nice boots we stayed at the engagement party until little sun started to get restless and then went home phil and mill stayed at the party until quite late so since mill was working sunday she went straight to bed when they finally did get home so between the time that she told me i hope your daughter isn't coming in sunday evening i didn't have to interact with her hardly at all by the time i did have to interact with her i wasn't even angry anymore and she was still on her best behavior i had discussed it with my husband of course and we have agreed that our response to mill trying or even implying that she'd like to exclude my daughter will be met with the same result each and every time and none of us will attend whatever event is under discussion so now all i am is totally firm to the point of being implacable i haven't had a chance to let my in-laws know because i don't think my daughter is aware of what went down this weekend and i'd rather her not have to deal with it at all i was pretty freaked out about standing my ground as firmly as i did i don't think i could have without my husband's support also a little head nod to everyone who commented saying that they were the excluded stepchild and how much it meant to them for me a total stranger to stick up for my daughter in this way yeah made me cry in a good way and really help to strengthen my resolve as well i'm so sorry for each of you that you were treated that way as children knowing that it still affects you all as adults made it easier for me to stick to my guns i may not have the shiniest spine all the time but nobody is going to treat my daughter like less a part of my family [Music] do [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 30,082

Rating: 4.8936172 out of 5

Keywords: reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit wedding, reddit girl, reddit, reddit marriage, mother in law, crazy mother in law, r/ mil, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ pregnancy, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit, askreddit mil, mil, askreddit pregnant, askreddit girl, justnomil, r/justnimil

Id: mUjQ-hzDodc

Length: 20min 2sec (1202 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 15 2020