Mother in law stole from me and my husband knew

[Music] mill stole from me and husband knew hopefully this isn't too long this is my first time posting but i've had problems with my in-laws since day one my husband still lived with his mom when we got together we got our own place two weeks into our relationship we knew each other for almost three years at that point the first red flag was his youngest sister saying he never comes around anymore since we moved in with me he had just moved out and was going to school full-time working on his bachelor in biochemistry he didn't have a whole lot of extra time his family was always wanting to hang out late at night like after 9 00 p.m to 3 a.m and it just wasn't an option for him the next red flag his mom tried to apply for fafsa for him after we got married and she claimed him as a dependent and put in completely wrong info about our financial status i believe she did this as an attempt to get his student aid put into her bank account when he asked her about it she said i didn't want her to spend all of your money on makeup i barely wore makeup at the time because i was so busy parenting homemaking and working so i don't know where she got that to this day i have no idea what she was thinking i was the only one working at this time as his course load was intense the first year we married and filed taxes she tried to get my husband to deposit my tax return into her account so that i wouldn't be able to spend it all again a weird thing to say because i hardly spent money later that year she made us pay three or four payments on her car with the money that i obviously didn't spend on my cube because i'm a grown ass adult i got diagnosed with a monster of a disease when i got pregnant with our last child i was completely disabled and unable to walk without losing consciousness she was livid that i had to stop working saying i was being selfish because he was in school and he needed me to work for the family which wasn't even half true his course load wasn't as significant at this point and lots of people work and go to school he halfheartedly explained my condition and how it wasn't an option for me to work she tried to get him to deposit his student aid and our tax return into her account for probably the first two or three years of our marriage it never happened the last time she mentioned it she was on the phone with my husband on speaker and mentioned that i would blow the money if it was in our account he quickly said you're on speaker you're on speaker then proceeded every phone conversation around me and i became suspicious about what was being said behind my back next issue a little background my family is jewish we never celebrated christmas the first year of our marriage we did christmas with his family i was backed into a corner to sell one of my old phones to buy his sister a new one me no one else just me with money i got from selling my phone i was really uncomfortable about it but i thought it would be a fun present to give her for christmas so i went all out and made these cute gift boxes for both of his sisters and put the phone at the very bottom of her box i had a lot of fun making everyone's gifts but i was very uncomfortable at the party and went into the bathroom to cry i know that was shitty of me to do and i felt bad about it but i didn't tell anyone and cleaned up and came back out after that he and i discussed what our winter holidays would be like as our family grew and we decided to not have a christmas the following year to see how things went and man oh man that's when the [ __ ] show began he has a cousin who is very much like a sister and she exploded about us announcing we weren't doing christmas she made a huge scene in front of the whole family saying well i don't understand he does christmas he's always done christmas and insinuated that i was selfish he told her that we were trying to figure out what to do for our family since we came from different backgrounds and had children together and wanted to try no christmas that year she threw a massive fit every week she would text our family group and should talk about how i had pressured him into that decision and how terrible i was for not letting him do christmas which couldn't have been any further from the truth the funniest part about this whole thing was we had scheduled a family vacation to disney world over christmas so we wouldn't have even been in town for the holidays to spend it with them even if we were celebrating a few months after this when the cousin's attitude had calmed down we went to her son's birthday party i had just had a baby less than two weeks before then so i had my newborn with me and needed to feed her i covered up and started breastfeeding in her couch and she looked at me and said oh i could never breastfeed in front of my other children i just wouldn't be comfortable with it and offered to let me feed my baby in their back room i politely declined fast forward a few months i posted a picture on snapchat sitting next to my husband in a pajama tank top set and the cousin messaged me she apparently didn't see him sitting next to me and said does he know you post pictures like this that's disrespectful to post pictures in a low-cut shirt i know my husband wouldn't be okay with it he messaged her and freaked out saying that it was inappropriate for her to assume he didn't know about the picture and that it was not her place to say what was appropriate and not for his wife we haven't talked to the cousin since a few weeks ago his older brother got angry at me over group text when i liked a comment from his sister disagreeing with him the brother he sent the whole family a message about how he had heard nothing but terrible things about me my husband wanted to leave the conversation alone but i got really upset and he decided to say something the whole time i wondered if they were reading his response and knowing that he had to be encouraged to stand up for me and it wasn't on his own fruition the weird thing is besides the problems with his family i feel like our relationship is pretty perfect i don't know what he could have ever complained about me just like i wouldn't know how to complain about him i was hurt and confused and my trust in him was wavering i had been suspecting that he was letting his family [ __ ] talk me and possibly agreeing with them or at least making them think they're right then last night [ __ ] hit the fan my husband dropped his phone into our kitchen sink and the screen was all messed up i had another extra phone i had from before my upgrade that i was keeping around for just this type of thing at one point i had offered it to his mom when her phone broke and she said she didn't want it but would take it and sell it i said no because it was an expensive discontinued iphone and i wanted to keep it around for emergencies i told my husband that i was going to keep it and not to give it to her because she was going to sell it i specifically told him that she was being weird about it and i was worried she might take it so i put it in my locking fire box in our bedroom so back to present day i kept telling him to go get it and that i would set it up for him he kept saying i looked for it but couldn't find it but he hadn't gotten up from where he was sitting to look i told him that and told him exactly where it was and to go get it but it wasn't there i kept asking him if he knew where it was probably five to ten times because he was the only other one who had a key to the firebox every time he looked me in the eye and said no i don't know i was freaking out because i thought someone had stolen one of our keys i didn't know what else they could have taken i told him i was going to call the police and report it stolen that's when he started insinuating that he thought his mom had it i again asked him do you know where it is and he again told me no at this point he texted his mom asking if she had it or had seen it in our house at this point i say i'm going to call the police and tell them she stole it and that's when he said no i gave it to her so she could sell it i was so loved and hurt by the lies he bold-facedly to me five to ten times during that convo even played dumb and asked his mom where it was when she and him both knew she had it i know this might seem petty but for me feel like this is a straw to break the camel's back i feel like i finally have the proof that his family really does come first and that he has actively been participating in the disrespect of me i feel like i can't do it anymore i don't trust him and i don't trust his family i don't think i'll be able to trust a word he says ever again and it makes me question so many things about him knowing he could look me in the iron bold-faced lie to me like that does anyone have any insight that might help me i want a divorce but i'm afraid i'm afraid of how big of a change that will be for me and my kids and i'm worried i won't be able to financially make it due to the disability i got while pregnant i don't know how to do it or what to do any advice someone recommended having him write out every issue he's seen and what his reaction was and how that reaction on it his role as a son or as a husband and what he was going to do to fix it it took him two days but he's finally sent it to me and i will share in the comments a bit of backstory to help understand we are massively nerdy scientists and we are atheist i had sent him a ton of articles about toxic mother-in-laws enmeshment and emotional incest i also sent him some about how all of those things pertain to marriage kay is his insane cousin jay is our oldest child he also describes the phone situation as different he had tried to make a deal with his dad about replacing my phone for my birthday we are all on the same phone plan and his dad didn't accept the deal the deal was that he would trade my old phone in to pay for the next two phone bills he decided to get the phone for me anyway when that plan was brought to my attention by his mother trying to force him to honour the first deal that his dad refused i said no that it would be used to go towards the new phone or his mom could have it since hers wasn't working when his mom wanted to go with the first plan of my phone that i paid for going towards his father's phone bill i put my foot down and that's how we ended up here what do we think so i'm a huge fan of rms titanic might be strange to say that about a sunken ship but ever since i was a child i have been obsessed with it i have researched everything i could find about the ship i have a lot of souvenirs miniature replicas smell globes coins etc i even have the old newspapers about titanic i guess that makes me sound like a crazy fanatic and i think i might be to an extent my husband jokes that maybe i'm the reincarnation of someone who died in the sinking that would explain my interest but honestly i'm just fascinated with the story around this ship and its tragic doom recently i went and got a tattoo of titanic something i had thought about for a while it's nothing to begin nothing too dramatic just a black and white picture of the ship and the dates it's my first tattoo and it looks really cool my husband loved it my friends loved it even my parents who are not very big fans of tattoos liked it everyone liked it except for my mill she hates tattoos i knew it but didn't care about her opinion at all because why should she really care it's on my body not hers well it turned out she did care more than i expected when she saw it she was like what do you look like now why are you smearing your body you should have grown out of that toddler age by now when it's acceptable to draw on everything including yourself women should never have tattoos only p india addicts and prisoners of tattoos i'll never understand why people worry so much about the tattoos of others okay you don't like them to each their own but why does it worry you so much that i got a tattoo it's on my body it's not on your body and you'll never have to be seen with it so what's the big problem i told her that it's very common for people to have to choose these days men or women it's not the 50 ties anymore and she was like and what even is it some old ugly ship what does it have to do with your life you don't have a ship do you if you choose to have a tattoo it should be of something important and with a meaning not something you see when you lift your eyes i agree and disagree that tattoo should always have meanings who said titanic is not important to me it isn't that's why it's on me it great of course if your tattoo is meaningful to you but if you decide to have a tattoo of some roses just because you like them why not we couldn't agree about this she stayed with her opining that tattoos are ugly and i stayed with mine that i have rights to put in my body whatever i want after the dinner she left and later in the evening i wanted to wipe the dust off my collection shelves and i immediately noticed something is missing something very valuable some time ago my husband gifted me coal from the titanic which made me jump up and down who knew a piece of coal could make someone so happy but it became my very favorite souvenir and now it was gone gone from the shelf i looked for it everywhere and i told my husband that it's gone he was like are you sure you didn't misplace it somewhere and i said no it was still here the morning your mother came to visit us and i think she has something to do with its disappearance so he called mill and told her that i'm missing a piece of my collection has she seen it by any chance mill calmly said yes it's with me and it'll stay with me until she gets rid of that [ __ ] tattoo i was like what why the hell is the coal with you i don't remember giving it to you i would never give it to you which means you stole it and of course i'll never get rid of my tattoo either i tom him to tell her to give me back my cola we are gonna have a fight for real it might sound excessive but it was that important to me every piece of my collection is valuable to me but this one was the most precious of them all and i was ready to do whatever it takes to get it back my husband hopped in his car and promised me he'll be back with the coal about an hour later he came back from the mill's house and fortunately managed to get the coal from her he told me that she didn't want to give it to him because i needed a lesson and i needed to understand the consequences of desecrating the body god gave me he said so tattoos are not okay with god and stealing is and she was like sometimes god approves it if it's for a greater good besides i didn't steal i just withheld it from her for a while well i'm not religious but as far as i know stealing is a sin and i highly doubt god approves sins basically mill was warned that if something like this ever happens again she'll never be allowed in our house again and we'll call the police for theft she kind of smirked and was like police are not going to do anything about a piece of rock it's not like it's gold i'm not really sure about this i mean theft is a theft police should do something no matter what was stolen from you right so now we are thinking about ways to make our house more safe against mill it looked like she wasn't scared at all when my husband talked to her and i don't really want to put my collection away and hide it because many guests like it she's not coming over anytime soon though i make part of my living as an artist i make nerdy works of art and sell poster prints to awesome people with money one of these works has become really popular over the past few years and has garnered much interest a take on the old back dogs playing poker except the pups in mine are playing a popular tabletop roller playing game a few weeks back i received a request on etsy for a custom print the buyer henceforth dill wanted me to swap out one of the dogs for her own dog wearing a tuxedo dog pics were sent and we chatted a bit turns out dill is getting married in the spring and the dog in question has been a part of her and her betrothed relationship for a decade the dog will even be part of the ceremony the commissioned artwork will be a wedding gift from her to her new husband awesome i'm a rank sentimentalist i will admit it i thought the idea was very cool and offered to make additional changes to the piece to make it even more meaningful to them their miniatures will be on the table along with their own character sheets among other little details dill was over the moon and increased the scope of the project instead of a poster print it's now going to be a huge canvas print in a beautiful custom frame suffice to say this project is a big deal to me it would take a lot of time if i rushed it and i have no intention of rushing it i had just started working on the project when thanksgiving rolled around things paused while my family visited remote relatives and then while we dealt with the death of a close friend the week after but i got a message on etsy thanksgiving morning from dill hi i want you to make changes to my poster before you send it okay no big deal i thought we had chatted a bunch about changes and the piece was far from finalized i asked for details take out dog in the tuxedo from the poster i don't want him in it also take out dill's character sheet and dill's miniature also background heirloom that previously seemed important to her i was flawed what had happened did i do something wrong did i somehow blow the sail i asked if she was sure that seemed like a lot of good stuff discarded and a lot of time and effort wasted even if it was only time spent discussing and brainstorming the response i got back was infuriating yes i'm sure i'm the customer you little [ __ ] don't question me or else i'll just cancel the project further i don't think that the game in the artwork is a good fit i want you to change it so that the dogs are doing unrelated non-nerdy activity i was pissed infuriated how does someone speak like that to me i unfortunately had a good amount of time over the holiday to keep mulling it over by the end i had mentally decided that i was going to fire dill as a customer the only thing that kept me from doing it was the busy schedule of the holiday visit and the swamp week that was to follow when the smoke cleared i decided to reach out and be diplomatic i messaged dill and said that the original idea seemed great but the revised idea was not really my thing i didn't think i would do it justice i'm glad i reached out dill responded that she hadn't made any changes her awful mill had been staying with her and her fiance over thanksgiving andel's phone went missing for a chunk of it as best we can surmise mill stole her phone and saw the mls talking about the artwork project she took it upon herself to message me pretending to be dill and then deleted my emails so that dill wouldn't see the missing phone was back quote discovered on a kitchen counter at the end of the weekend i can't wrap my head around why someone would do something like this what was she hoping to accomplish ruined hill's gift to her son on his wedding day was she hoping that he'd be so outraged he'd call off the whole marriage

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 33,658

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Keywords: reddit girl, reddit mil, reddit money, reddit mother in law, justnomil, jnmil, r/justnomil, reddit justnomil, r/askreddit, r/girl, r/mil, r/money, r/motherinlaw, r/, askreddit girl, reddit, askreddit mil, askreddit mother in law, askreddit justnomil

Id: F1e85sXuUus

Length: 20min 7sec (1207 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 30 2020