Mother in law tried to steal my baby

[Music] background my husband and i have been married for over five years and we have a year old baby boy i gotta say my relationship with my mother-in-law and her manipulative controlling behavior made me hesitant about having kids really the idea was terrifying because of how she acts towards her other grandkids my husband didn't agree he wanted kids but i thought i'd save myself the anxiety and stress and just not have kids heck we haven't even been able to figure out our own future with her wanting to get involved in everything when i found out i was pregnant by accident i suddenly changed my mind and decided to finally start planning for starting a family my husband was so excited and happy of course mother-in-law knew and decided to get involved like usual i can't tell you she made my pregnancy slash birth the most painful experience in my entire life both me and my husband work nine to five we had a hard time adjusting to our new routine with a baby in the picture i have my sister my mom and sometimes mill babysit for me but it brought a lot of headache and was only temporary my sister told me her friend was just starting a home daycare a few weeks ago i instantly put my son there my sister mom were relieved mother-in-law was enraged she threw a fit asking me why i would do such a reckless thing and put her banana by iai and some random home surrounded by strangers instead of bonding and spending time with his grandma her bitching went on and on and on four days then she stopped and started bringing up my son's upcoming birthday party basically asking what our plans gonna be we told her due to the pandemic and the current circumstances we decided to have a small party at a house invite a few family members do a little decorating etc she got mad and said that she wanted to have her grand baba's first birthday party at her house and invite many people and take pictures to post on her facebook page i was wowed she actually planned for this in detail and was just calling to let us know since she's already decided um no lady this is my son's first birthday i'm his mom i can't let you just ruin my experience and be expected to say yeah okay i put my foot down since dh was having a headache and told her no we are sticking to our plan we will not be having our son's birthday party at your house she blew my husband's phone up sending nasty texts when he didn't answer her course basically threatening what will happen if she doesn't get her way yesterday morning i asked my husband to drop our son off a daker on his way to work while i go shopping with mom for party supplies after about three hours i got a call from the lady at the daker telling me that my mother-in-law was there to pick up my son because she claimed that she was having his birthday party at her house and that us parents were at work and won't get off till 5 p.m i felt my blood boiling i immediately told her to not allow my mother-in-law to take my son and leave i started repeating myself over and over again to make sure she didn't allow her to take my baby with her i could hear the bee arguing in the background basically telling the woman that she had my husband's permission the lady repeated what my mother-in-law said i told her i am the mother and that my son can not be released to this woman my patient ran out i called my husband's phone but he didn't pick up my mom and i went straight to the daca to pick up my son i was feeling so angry and nervous i almost ran into a pole thinking this bee would try to take my son by force we finally got there i saw that the lady already called my sister she handed him to me and said that my mother-in-law left after threatening to get cps involved for what she saw there and file a lawsuit for telling her to leave without her grand baby my god the nerve of this [ __ ] i'm still in shock what the hell was she thinking more importantly how did she know the address turned out when she called the night before asking if i was going to work and i told her no but my husband was she must have followed him or something but that's all i could think of for now i absolutely have no idea i asked my husband and he said she did try to pressure him into giving her the address but he didn't give it to her he swore but i'm not sure i bought into his story father-in-law called and started shaming me for not letting her take my son over to her house so they could all celebrate my son's first birthday i tried to explain but he lashed out at me saying i ruined this for the whole family excuse me you ruined this for me i was worried sick for my son who knows what would have happened if i hadn't been told about her showing up she ruined my son's first birthday party for me ruined the whole experience this all came to a head five days ago when i found out about it usually dh and i are super good about communicating what's going on with his mother so that neither of us walks into unexpected hiccups when we have to see her slash work with her he neglected to tell me this one for about three weeks because he was so stressed about it here it goes jnmi owns her own business where my husband also works it's a small pet store slash grooming store she runs the grooming and he does the retail because it's a small business it's just the three of us that work there she's there almost every day because she literally has no life my husband works five days a week and i work the sixth day when i'm not at my main job so he has a day off because we're expecting a baby and i can't work a demanding retail job for much longer we've hired a new part-time student who is a few weeks into training she's doing very well and both th and i have great confidence in her a few weeks back jnmio was in such a mood that when my husband casually mentioned something about our pregnancy she made a comment to him about if he was going to be there for the birth dh of course why wouldn't i be j and mil well if you're working when my lady goes into labor you're not leaving before your shift ends d h d h chose not to engage because knowing his psycho mother as he does he knows that this comes not from her heart but from her crippling insanity but he didn't share it with me at the time he had been convincing me to keep it quiet on social media about not using the out-of-date illegal crib she passed down to us from dh almost 40 years old and buying a new one instead we both agreed to this new crib and reproposing his old one into some cute furniture such as a single bed and having the wood fully restored jmile is aware of this but regularly denies we told her this and acts cert each time it comes up so five days ago we have a zoom call with a dollar we were hiring we agreed to contract terms and she sent me a google dr phil in i asked him one of the few questions that applied to him me adh there's a question here for you on a scale of 1 to 10 how involved does your partner want to be in the birth cutting the chord etc dh well it depends on if i'm there me what of course you'd be there where else would you be d h my mom said if you were in labor when i had to be at the store then i couldn't be there of course i was speechless and furious i don't think he realized i did not pick up on his subtle annoyance he has a great poker face he was also on his phone when he brought it up and clearly wasn't paying attention to how slow and casual he was making a conversation about a serious issue i grabbed my grocery bags and stomped out to get groceries iraq shopped and then sat in the parking lot of the now closed store and ugly cried then drove home as soon as i got in with the groceries dh stops me and pulls me aside no phone in hand this time [ __ ] got real dh you didn't let me finish the conversation earlier i know you're upset but please hear me out i will be there for the birth of our baby regardless of what jmill wants i don't care if i have to lock her in the store and leave i will be there q more ugly crying from me dh went on to explain that he was very hurt frustrated and confused with what she had said he didn't want to tell me what she said because he was struggling with how his mother could be so cruel and hard about the birth of her grandchild he also didn't want to put stress on the baby and died by mentioning it but he also realized that she was saying it out of jealousy after harping on us for years to give her grandkids i swear i saw the gears click in her mind when we told her we were pregnant that dh's life and priorities will never again revolve around her and since then she's been lashing out subtly uncoveredly but lashing out she buys dh baked goods and sugary snacks when he's trying to lose weight she got offended when he asked her to stop so she started doing it to me i shut that down pretty fast so she switched back to buying them 4dh he brings them home and i'd give them away to friends or family or coworkers she regularly calls dh at all hours even after spending all day at work with him to talk about the store again the only thing she has in her life he regularly ignores and silences her calls i should note that jnmil has no other family her husband passed away three years ago she has alienated her half siblings with her attitude behavior and lawsuits against them her friends realize pretty quickly she's not sane and drop her even her so-called boyfriend her best friend's ex that she got with while they were still together avoids her whenever he can because he's too weak to walk away from her entirely and she panders to his needs so dh and i are all she has d h has also expressed concern that if he snaps tells her off blocks her from his life that her bf will rob her blind and leave her destitute and dependent on us and because she has no one else dh does not want to be responsible for her needing money or heaven forbid moving in with us if she loses her house to the bf [ __ ] so he prefers to keep her at a distance and set boundaries which is fine as long as he sticks to them i did give him flack about keeping this from me he gets mad when i hold in my frustrating encounters with her and i reminded him that he told me we need to share all of it the good and bad he felt very ashamed and he's not the type to keep her shenanigans from me i mean who else will understand his frustration lol but he was just so disappointed in what she said that he kept it from me he promised not to do it again i did have a moment of pettiness though from the grocery store parking lot i shared the photo of the brand new crib box in a haul on social media and commented how excited we were to set it up we are agreed we get to be happy about this baby and our family and no one has the right to ruin that edit thank you all for your supportive comments in the silver very much appreciated it i should note a few things dh is a very sweet caring person j mile is a very broken human being that was abused for most of her childhood and has since buried all her demons and deny they exist we are fairly certain her mental health issues extend to more than the abuse she experienced as a child but her policy is that counseling is for losses and [ __ ] and she's tough every single time it's come down to choosing between j and m i l or me he has picked me even when she said she wouldn't attend our wedding because it was on a weekend when the store was open and forbid him from taking the day off and giving his coworker our best man the day off he said she would have to figure it out because they both were going to be off that day she eventually came around and closed the store for her only child to get married while jay and miel is nuts and unrealistic she does love us she just lacks the ability to show it like normal humans do she buys stuff for us like baked goods to show love and demand affection in return but then gets mad when i give her homemade baked goods because i'm fattening her up she's generous with her money slash gifts towards dh and i but cheap to a fault when it comes to paying bills her internet slash phone provider has a special person she deals with when she decides every three months she's not happy with her package and they're ripping her off again she tries to show love and she struggles with expressing it but she does love us but her lack of taking control of her own life instead of dhs has led to us backing away dh is determined that the abuse that she gives stops with our generation he refuses for our child to be alone with her or stay over at her house without one of us there he says the cycle ends here he believes he can do this without cutting contact but by being firm with it this above situation is one of the first times he's let her win he's usually really good at stopping the behavior at the beginning of her nasty cycles this time he was so appalled he did not know how to respond and was then so disappointed and ashamed he let her win that he hid it from me all out of character for him with all the hard work we've put in with setting boundaries with her i've made it clear he's not in this alone that i stand with him and if he needs to start a fight in the middle of the store and get fired to stick to his guns i'm okay with that we have an emergency fund set aside for such things as a roof repair on the house or his mom going off the deep end he's preparing to leave the store and go his own way but after so many years it's taking a lot of emotional and mental prep on his part to accept that some days are easier than others things have really flown of the handle lately and i need some serious advice and support so a lot has happened in the last couple of weeks the biggest of which is i did some genetic testing dw and i decided to do the 23andme for functions and i also did the helix one from mayo clinic for its more extensive medical screenings totally found out why i have such a hard time with anesthesia pseudochelinesterase and alpha-1 and tetra-spin deficient means i take a hell of a long time to metabolize paralytics and also feel like i'm suffocating when i wake up dw is as usual her perfect self and isn't a carrier or have other genetic quirks that make her life interesting go figure she rolls natural twenties on luck but i love her regardless just wish some of her luck would rub off on me but that wasn't the only thing i learned about with these tests i was checking up on the family matches just for fun to see if i matched with cousins i didn't know i had both of my parents and my sister and her husband have done the 23 in me so i figured that i would match with all of them anyway instead i had a parent-child match with a woman i've never met i thought it was a mistake but i triple checked and made a few phone calls my sister only matched as a half sibling and i have two other people i've never met as half sibling matches the strange woman's two adult kids i don't even know if my dad cheated i was born while he was in the military and still stationed up north this other woman has two adult children younger than me and i'm just so confused now it just feels like i was even more of an accident that nobody wanted how do you end up having two moms and neither of them want you it's been kind of a mind duck honestly i remember going to preschool outside of my home state but everyone told me i had a wild imagination they told me that so many times i'm not sure if what i remember is right or not i now understand why my parents were both screaming at me that i messed up my biology project electrophoresis testing when our blood types didn't match up and weren't possible but this whole time i wondered why my mother hated me so much why she seemed to take pleasure in hurting me or making me cry part of me knows that she shouldn't have abused me no matter what i was just a kid and i didn't deserve that but another part of me feels like i should feel bad for her still because she was raising a kid that wasn't her own i feel guilty and like maybe i deserved what i got but that's ridiculous isn't it do i forgive that thing do i let her and my dad know what i found out confront them for the truth do i contact this other woman i mean if she did give birth to me i'm sure she knows i exist but would she even want to talk to me i mean in all honesty i really just want a genetic slash medical history so i can get some idea of what to expect in the future i'm too old to want a mother now and there aren't any more life hallmarks she could miss that and the last thing i needed to just knows crawling up my ass what the duck do i do now i asked dw that she's at a loss too her only suggestions was that we both sit down with our returners to see if this changes anything and make more appointments with my therapist minor update on the cases cousin was fired and her license is suspended until the hipaa investigation and finds stuff is out of the way but she will probably lose it her son is cooling his heels in jail not only did he get trespassing destruction of property and disorderly has had warrants for his arrest for failure to appear in a dwee and for other traffic offences that thing has continued the smear campaign but has kept her distance but right now it doesn't look like she's going to get charged with anything [Music] so [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

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Keywords: reddit mil, reddit mother in law, reddit wedding, reddit girl, reddit, reddit marriage, mother in law, crazy mother in law, r/ mil, r/ girl, r/ wedding, r/ pregnancy, r/, r/askreddit, askreddit, askreddit mil, mil, askreddit pregnant, askreddit girl, justnomil, r/justnomil

Id: O7i-pfkevCg

Length: 18min 57sec (1137 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 18 2020