Family is angry I told my sister I'm pregnant

[Music] hello i'm new here i've been told i should come total sub for help with my situation at home it never occurred to me that i have a family of narcissists so this is being eye-opening i love my sister and i know she's always wanted to get pregnant but had trouble conceiving so she tried ivf twice in the last couple years although sadly it didn't work for her since her first failed ivf try my parents decided it was strictly forbidden for anyone to mention anything baby related whether it was me wanting to start a family with my husband or learning a friend got pregnant if it was baby related we were told not to tell my sister because it had hurt her feelings and make her feel bad i obliged out of respect for my parents but i disagree with this because way of doing things the world doesn't stop people will still get pregnant just because she can't have a baby yet why should everybody walk on eggshells not to accidentally slip someone they know is pregnant during a family dinner my brother accidentally mentioned how one of our school friends was having a baby my sister heard it and started crying saying why did he have to rub it on her face when he knew knowing that would make her feel bad she made a scene and stormed off crying our parents got super angry at him and went on a tirade about how we couldn't mention babies at all for our sister's sake now four months ago my husband and i learned i was pregnant i told my parents and they didn't seem to care as much about as about making sure i didn't tell my sister i told them it was stupid because i'd start showing soon to what they replied it was best if i avoided hanging out with my sister until my baby is born because then it's unavoidable but in the meantime we can spare her the pain of knowing i'm pregnant we had a huge argument over it because i don't feel like hiding my pregnancy from my own sister just because her precious feelings might get hurt she has to deal with it babies are still being born every second and she can't make the world fit to her needs just so she doesn't suffer i don't want to cause her any pain but why can't i share the news with her and openly talk about it so after four months and with a visibly pregnant belly i told her today she was not happy she turned it into me purposely trying to make her feel bad and said she would have preferred not knowing i was like how do you expect me to hide this belly and why shouldn't i be allowed to talk about such an important change in my life just because protecting your feelings is more important than me sharing my joy so again she started crying didn't even congratulate me and stormed out we are both in our mid-30s an hour later my mother shows up at my house saying i'm selfish and self-centered i only care about me and i went against her wishes and told my sister about my baby just to make her feel bad because i'm jealous of her she went freaking nuts on me and made me feel like [ __ ] she said she's gonna need a long time to forgive me for this and how i'm always ruining things my husband asked her to leave our house but instead of leaving she got offended and started cussing at him he then grabbed her by the arm and physically removed her from her house and told her she's not welcome here of course then i got a shitload of angry texts from my father and the rest of the family so we've blocked every single one of them from our phones and social media i'm devastated my husband and i have been together for almost 14 years now my mill has never seemed to accept me i'm the second marriage for my husband and he had a son with his first wife the first time i met my then future miller was just before christmas she asked if i'd like to go christmas shopping with her and i thought it may be a good way to get to know her while shopping she started picking out things then asking if my sosex would like them for a present i was pretty shocked and felt very shunned the in-laws kept pictures up all over the house of just his ex for years even after he and i were married we now have two children in my stepson stepson is 14 our daughter is 12 and our son is eight ever since i've known them my mill has had a weird obsession with my stepson she will manipulate and lie pretty much whatever it takes to get as much time with my stepson as possible while at the same time ostracizing and completely ignoring her other grandchildren for years the two youngest wouldn't even get cards for holidays we've tried discussing this with the in-laws on multiple occasions generally it was my dear husband who did the talking but nothing ever changed and mill would just try to turn it all around on us because she wasn't doing anything wrong she says stepson had a shitty life because his parents divorced and she just wants to make it up to him however when our daughter was bullied so severely at school we had to pull her out and homeschool her mill was nowhere to be seen for her this last year stepson made the choice to live with us for his high school years suddenly mill had interest in seeing the children more specifically him we laid down the ground rule that each child should have their turn for one-on-one time with the grandparents they agreed or so we thought the first time mill came to pick up our youngest she tried to convince us to let her take steps on as well then threw a fit because we wouldn't let her and cancelled on our youngest when she finally rescheduled for our youngest because we refused to give her time with stepson she took him to a friend's bbq and ignored him the entire time our youngest was up for his third rotation now and she promised him one-on-one time then yesterday she called to shed you lit a birthday party for a kid he doesn't know and she wanted to bring stepson along as well stepson has started to notice how he was being treated different and he had been really upset about it as it was and this just set him off he had noticed how she took him shopping bought him expensive shoes and clothes but refused to buy things for his siblings he also noticed how she would always try to take him when it was their turn for time but would never try to include them on his time she also would call him and tell him how she is always thinking of him etc etc just a weird obsession with him i admittedly lost my temper yesterday i had enough of the blatant ignoring of our wishes and broken promises to all my children i told mill that until she can figure out how to treat the kids equally she would not see any of them this morning myself called my husband and told him he was disowned we were disrespectful and are now no longer part of the family mill meanwhile send steps on a facebook message that retired of being pushed away from you by others who don't want you to be happy i love you and always will your happiness is all that matters to me grandson you will always be welcome in my heart and my home she did not say anything or send anything to the other two only stepson to be honest i'm not real upset about it the in-laws have never been there for us if we ever asked for help we were given excuses but if they needed help we bent over backwards to do what we could i even watched my niece for over six months free of charge for my sill my in-laws have only watched our kids twice since we have lived nearby so we could have a date we have lived here 18 months now i just found this board and reading through that list of trades is like reading a detailed description of exactly what my mill does stepson called her this morning to tell her he was upset with her treating him like he is above his siblings and she tried to turn it all on me accused him of only calling because we were making him told him we were liars told him she does things for his siblings claimed when she took his sister out for her birthday that she took her for manny pedes and spent almost 500 on her even though she was being demanding and rude my daughter has not had a manip in over a year when mill brought my daughter home she had gotten her face creams even though she already has a skin cassette i got her and makeup that my daughter didn't even pick out she had been getting a haircut my daughter also had a blanket and two pillows but my daughter paid for those herself because my mill refused to buy it for her my stepson knew all this because he and his sister talk now he's even more angry at her and the fact she's saying we don't want him to be happy he told us he's the happiest living with us and he's been in years but mill claims we just want to keep her from him and we don't want him to be happy i'm sorry this is a long rant and it's all jumbled i feel for my husband he has tried to have a relationship with his parents and it's always been more one-sided now he just feels abandoned and i want to help him i want him to know we don't need them in our lives obviously they are toxic i want to protect my family from this woman she's completely delusional i worry she's going to try to kidnap stepson she tried picking him up when my sill was babysitting for us a couple weeks ago it was nuts mill called dear husband before we had left for our date asking what time we were leaving then still called five minutes later asking if we had docked steps and getting picked up by mill and taken to their house while still watched the other two we told her flat out no the phil showed up before sil corsil was running late he had no idea of the convo mill had with sill we were getting ready to leave when mill pulled up even phil was confused it felt like she had showed up before still and was going to try to take steps on anyway we made it clear to her in front if phil none if the kids were to leave the house she was not to take any of them now she's trying to blame all this on me and telling everyone i think she's evil she tried telling stepson i don't want him happy and dear husband and i are lying about everything this is all just insanity i sent an email making it clear to phil and mill they are not to contact any of the children without our permission our family is a package deal they don't get to pick and choose who they accept i will not allow any of my children to be hurt or manipulated and stepson is one of my kids i told them if they try to contact them or see them we will file a restraining order against them i have to protect my family now i'm not sure what else i can do this has been an ongoing issue for over a decade now the summer before i turned 16 my parents went to a fertility clinic in the city to see about having another kid my mom had been sterilized after my sister was born because of complications during little seas births that made it obvious that trying for another kid wouldn't be healthy 10 years later all of my mother's kids are grown into at least proteins and she was without a baby as all insane people know having children who eventually outgrow the coddling stage and start to form their own personalities and have their own dreams is just the worst so my parents needed another baby they could spoil i seriously didn't want them to have another kid at this point in my life i'd broken through the fog of abuse in stockholm syndrome and fully understood how awful my parents were the thought of them having another child to harm like they had me and my siblings was horrifying but there wasn't anything i could do except hope that they wouldn't be able to conceive thankfully my mom's first fertility counseling appointment was also her last i didn't attend with them but according to them they met with the doctor and he informed them of every step in the procedure of in vitro fertilization they said that the doctor would harvest eww 10 eggs from my mom and fertilize them three of those eggs would be transplanted into mom's uterus and the other seven would be frozen as backup if those three didn't implant if my mom got pregnant from the first batch of three the other seven eggs would be discarded unless my parents wanted to pay to keep them frozen here's where it went wrong since my parents believe life begins at conception they would have 10 potential children that needed to be dealt with discarding the extra eggs was the same as abortion according to them but we couldn't afford the cost of freezing them for the rest of forever so since the reality of the situation went against their morals they shouldn't get the procedure done right nope they drove straight home and immediately began filling me in on how the appointment went when they finished explaining the process i thought i could rest easy knowing that they wouldn't be having another child then they asked me their 15-year-old daughter if i would allow three of my parents fertilized eggs to be planted in me when i turned 18 they wanted me to carry potentially three of my own siblings to term and give birth to them mom would take the next batch of three and the last egg would go to me they tried to guilt me on the abortion angle abortion is murder and you'll murder your own siblings if you don't do this never mind it was their morals and their freaking embryos that they were talking about it had absolutely nothing to do with me and yet it would be my fault if the seven embryos were trashed needless to say i told them no they whined and lectured me for days about my familial duty dad found a few bible verses i can't remember to try and justify why this was my problem still firm though finally i asked how we were going to afford 10 potential kids for the next 20-plus years not including me and my two siblings if we couldn't afford to keep the eggs on ice to begin with they never scheduled a second appointment with the fertility clinic i'm currently pregnant with number two and after the hell no mill put us through with our daughter we are taking extra steps in avoiding telling her any more information and the absolute basics we recently have moved 1400 miles away from them but she still manages to push boundaries backstory with daughter no mill was bringing over trash bags full of toys not safe for babies and for older kids broken swings not safe all when she found out we were doing a jungle theme for the nursery she started buying anything with a monkey or other animal on it when we told her to stop bringing stuff over she would just leave all this crap on our porch when we weren't home we stopped even looking at them and just started seeing how much of the same stuff she would keep buying back from goodwill lol she even made a nursery in her house which we did not ask her to do as we had no intention on ever leaving her alone with our daughter at all she kept saying how there was no way we would be able to take care of her baby and she would live with her for at least three years mill and phil are both disabled she can't lift more than five pounds doesn't cook and they have no income other than disability which isn't much at all but yay they can totally raise a baby ira she then sent us a bill to pay her back for all her hard work in preparing for her baby so present time we find out gender of baby number two yesterday all day long stating at 6 00 am no mill would call husband's phone then mine right after then his you get the picture around 9am she gets still to text us mom is so upset you're not giving her any information it's her grand baby after all husband told her that the appointment wasn't until 3 30 multiple times husband finally calls her after making her worry sick about her baby and the conversation goes like this no mill how dare you keep me waiting to hear about my baby i need to know if everything is okay so i can take care of my grandkids if you would have flown me out there like i told you too i wouldn't have to wait hubs hi mom things are going great here too the weather's nice no mill stop bullshitting me and tell me tell me tell me eee hubs tube is doing really great feeling good no mill just ducking tell me hubs okay monster number one wants to tell you fyi she's 16 months no millis fake sweet voice hi sweetie how's nana's girl daughter babbles no mill are you having a brother or sister daughter doogie no mill what does that mean is that a boy or girl daughter laughs no mill jesus christ just tell me boy or girl i have a right to know about my baby hubs she told you mom if you really knew her like you claim you would know what she said bye i was laughing so hard and so proud of husband for not allowing her to get away he did say he had every intention of telling her at first but she couldn't even act nice so he changed his mind edit she's been sending fake nice texts trying to get an answer from me not going to happen and for those curious it's a boy [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 26,354

Rating: 4.9207397 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit, reddit sister, reddit pregnant, r/askredditt, reddit entitled parents, r/entitledparents, r/, r/girl, r/sister, r/pregnant, askreddit girl, askreddit, askreddit sister, askreddit pregnant, askreddit entitled parents

Id: m7J2Z_1XH08

Length: 17min 50sec (1070 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 04 2021