- [Griffin] Here he comes. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Here he comes again. I thought I made myself perfectly clear the last time he came around. (upbeat music) Well, we left some meat
on the bones, didn't we? - [Justin] I guess so, I mean we wouldn't be here if not right? - [Griffin] It's trying times,
and in these trying times we gotta conserve, we
gotta conserve our energy, fluids and also the video game me. They're not making anymore, so let's do Dark Souls three again. - [Justin] Yeah, without any video games, let's just get into Dark Souls three. Now, Griffin, can you review, and I'm sure Clayton
has an inspiring montage all cut together. I'm the Junker. Our last sort of trip to
the Triple, as it's known. - [Griffin] Last time we
slipped on the Triple, we were the Junker. - [Justin] I'm the Junker. Junker. - [Griffin] We did play it on release day so we were like children,
we were like infants. We barely beat the first boss. Okay, I don't get a dinosaur. I don't get a dinosaur. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] This time around though, this time around I'm
pretty good at the game. Just did a replay of it earlier this year, feeling pretty fresh about my skills. So, I thought maybe we could work on a new remaster of Dark Souls three. Look, I'm no Arby's Witch. Okay, like I don't possess that level of being able to hack,
and chop, and screw, and touch and twist the code. But I think I've done an okay job. - [Justin] Speaking of dark,
the dark things I would do for a Dark Souls game currently. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] I would really, really love to have a Dark Souls game to play. - [Griffin] Well, good
news we got this one, this is Dark Souls three. - [Justin] Remastered. (laughs) - [Griffin] Cool edition, remastered. So, you can see obviously the
first sort of modification that's been done is one mod that I did find on the internet, where they took every
bit of text in the game and then passed it through like 70 different translation filters. And then put it right back into English. - [Justin] (laughing) - [Griffin] There's gonna be
a lot of fun stuff going on. Apparently the situation is gender. As we all know the two genders
are, "Canada", and, "Women." There is no possibility
for a man to have sex. - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] Down in the bottom left corner it say's, "Choose the husband." I don't know which one of these is class. I'm gonna say category.
- [Justin] Situation. - [Griffin] I wanna take the clothes off, which is going to be
apparently the Cons class. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] So we can be,
"A very beautiful girl "who made a fall down." - [Justin] Are you reading
these descriptions? - [Griffin] Ah, let's see. - [Justin] "Standard double-gloss
mounting is possible." - [Griffin] "Northern soldiers
are known for their brain. "We use great force to make
a difficult war.", sure. "I was appointed a
preacher", is a really good. "A boatboy arrives from the mother bed. "I'm black and black." - [Justin] (giggles) - [Griffin] "He left school
and continued research. "Magic is a smart creature." Okay, "Unplanned travel agency. "the channel has confidence
in many different shades." - [Justin] The channel. (laughs) - [Griffin] "From the
next and unknown origin. "Stupid things in life or
removal from burial grounds." We'll start with this, with the Cons. Just to get a good look at the bod. Here, "Adolescents can not only
influence their appearance, it's fast and the
mortuary is, what is this? This is the. - [Justin] What's that, "My goodness"? - [Griffin] "My goodness,
the warm water is incredible. "Of course, HP and your device." - [Both] (laughs) - [Justin] Oh, I see, "Fire drama", ugh. - [Griffin] Ugh, not again. - [Justin] Don't get me started. - [Griffin] "Suitable for
warriors and small people." "Anime kings so much." - [Justin] "Sweet fairy
who gives you sleep. "Use it to win some souls." - [Griffin] That last part
is actually very interesting. What is, "Coach Coach Coach"? - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] "Please
bring another black soul "and attack another world." All right. - [Justin] "Coach Coach Coach". - [Both] "Face on". - [Griffin] "Bee attack is very common." In Dark Souls three extreme edition, bee attack is unfortunately very common. We've tried to patch them out but. - [Justin] "Everyone is confused." - [Griffin] "New fabric men", wow, ooh. This one's just, "Catherine Marborkar". - [Justin] I love her. - [Griffin] Yeah, she's so good. - [Justin] She's my
online yoga instructor. - [Griffin] Hmm-mm. She has the presence of the
Jubilee, if memory serves. "The great Genocide was
destroyed", is a pretty strange-- - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] "The unusual face is unique. "Or maybe it's just ugly. "The rise of prejudice causes persecution "and distress to spread to the", what? Oh, no. - [Justin] Oh, that seems
very Monster Factory, I had to say, "The great
Genocide was destroyed". - [Griffin] Well, "In the
shadow from Death from London,". "Make a job, upload almost. "London is empty with old man." We'll start with him. And then the room is I
guess, the room of his body. - [Justin] I have to look at, "No Lizard." - [Griffin] What, "No Lizard"? (laughs) - [Justin] "I have many muscles. "Fat body." - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] Aren't we all, "No Lizard". "Like a small pen." "The brain should be filled well." "Built in existing homes." "We build thick muscles." We do build thick muscles around here. - [Justin] that's true. - [Griffin] And we'll start there. Okay, so fuck, shit. Shit, I don't know where to start, Juice. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Here, it's fast, we got that. "The situation", we got that. And he is, "No", remember this Justin we need to start building
up the lexicon now. "Math" or "hair?" - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] "Choose a
taste of a lot of fur." We'll start there. "It's average hair." "Body weight." I guess this is just
body hair, we like that. We like that around here.
- [Justin] Yeah, it's good. - [Griffin] Details of the building. We'll do it either Bach. - [Justin] Awesome or Bach. (laughs) - [Griffin] "I sang a song", it say's in the bottom left corner. What is, "Cozaw"? Holy shit, Justin, I don't know. All right, let's figure it out together. This is torso, what? This slider kicks ass. - [Justin] This is like
a head size definitely. - [Griffin] Okay, we'll go with big. "And Courage", the courage
of the body is awesome. We do build, here's the thing, we build thick muscles around here. We gotta be really, really careful. 'Cause if we turn down one slider, sometimes it likes to turn
down the other sliders. - [Justin] See, that's immoral. - [Griffin] Is there anyway
we can like juice it. This is like a logic puzzle, I feel like I'm playing Zoombinis. "Cozaw." - [Justin] "Cozaw", doesn't
seem to do, okay that's-- - [Griffin] That's the depth of the child. Wow, this game is having
trouble keeping up with my fucking heat already. So, it will let us turn 'em all up but it won't let us turn 'em all down. - [Justin] Ah, I think we
only have one choice then. - [Griffin] That's fucked up. Oh, what are we doing? Where's the random? Where's the randomized face options? God, I've missed this. How long should we go, 'cause I've got, I've been working in my
PC rig lately, Juice, and so like, I'm able to do
this faster than ever before. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Oh shit. Oh fuck, how can he smell? Oh fuck, oh boy. Donkey. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Donkey, excuse me Donkey. Pardon me, Donkey. Not again, here he comes. - [Justin] (giggles) - [Griffin] Here he comes again. I thought I made myself perfectly clear the last time he came around. - [Justin] (laughs) The nose, the nose is turning into like, one
of those optical illusions. Where it's actually concave
but it looks convex. - [Griffin] He's turning back into sort of a regular dude again. - [Justin] I think you haven't seen a regular dude in a long time. - [Griffin] Well, you're not wrong. Shit man. Worried he's gonna look
like some sort of dog boy. No, he's cute. - [Justin] He's cute. - [Griffin] He's kinda cute though. - [Justin] The, "Astley White", you're increasing to full, "Husband". - [Griffin] Okay, I'll
make that full, "Husband". "In general, they", "Golden" or "Strong". Whoa, now that's a big muscles
on the face right there. - [Justin] Whoa, whoa,
I didn't realize exactly what we were dealing with till we got a different angle on it. - [Griffin] Now can we. Mm, now this is a fucking mans man, Juice. This right here's a Canada's Canada. - [Both] (giggling) - [Griffin] Looks like an hour glass. I love it, I love a Canada
with an hour glass figure. You know what I mean? Oh, he's blossoming again. Oh, look. Oh, we cured him. Come on back. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Puff those
cheeks out, get proud. Here's some, eat this bread. Eat this bread, let it widen you. Why does it always? Okay, I kind of do want to start over 'cause this is not igniting me Justin. - [Justin] Okay, this is hard. - [Griffin] How do I change it? It's not, "Coach Coach Coach." mm-hm, (laughs). - [Justin] Oh, this is good. - [Griffin] Whoa, did you see that? - [Justin] No. - [Griffin] He got like
a little chin nubbins. - [Justin] Oh! What's that? - [Griffin] What is that? - [Justin] What's that? - [Griffin] It's only there
on a few of them, isn't it? - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] How peculiar. Is that like a butt chin? What the fuck is going on? Oh shit, he's gonna yarts. "I'm gonna blow dudes." - [Justin] (laughs) The divot is still. What is that? - [Griffin] "I'm gonna blow dudes, "my chin fins are getting started." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] What the fuck is going on. What's up with this Jim Henson, bird ass motherfucker we got going? - [Justin] You haven't even hit the random button that many times. - [Griffin] I didn't even
touch it that bad, did I? Look at this sad bird. I know we've already made a
bird in our Toucan Dan video. Hey werewolf, guess
who's about to get fucked by and anthropomorphic bird. You are. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] It's like
it would be derivative for us to return to the bird well but I mean fucking look at this. - [Justin] If you give it enough oxygen it just wants to be a bird. I think is the thing we're learning. - [Griffin] Let's see
what we can do with this. I like this as a starting pallet. 'Cause he's not really a bird, is he? - [Justin] It feels froggish to me. Like I'm getting definite,
like Kermit vibes. - [Griffin] Kermi vibes. Too, too-- - [Justin] Oh, too much. - [Griffin] Too much, huh? - [Justin] Oh boy. Ah yeah. - [Griffin] He likes that. - [Justin] Is he not turtle
enough for the turtle club? - [Griffin] (laughs) Moaf. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] I guess. - [Justin] It's the new turtle Van Gogh. He's the sad one and he's
a middle aged turtle. - [Griffin] What the fuck
could, "Astley White", possibly. Wait a minute we already did
a turtle with Squirtle too. Shit, Juice. - [Justin] Damn it! - [Griffin] Squirtle! - [Justin] (laughs) Oh, I hate it. - [Griffin] Ah, we're starting over. We gotta be better than this. Give us something, my beautiful muse. Oh, now he kinda looks like a. Wow, he kinda looks
like a shitty boy, hah? - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Like a sick boy. Like you would ask this boy
to pick up your newspaper and he wouldn't even be
strong enough to do it. Look at that. - [Justin] Can I say this
is a very vocative face. - [Griffin] Look at this shitty face. - [Justin] He looks like a character actor that would stand out to in a crime film. - [Griffin] Yes, they're
like, "We need a street urchin "who looks like a weak idiot." And then this is who you would get. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Okay, fine. "Can I at least be husband?" - [Justin] (laughs) - [Both] Nope. - [Justin] You can't. Oh my God! - [Griffin] Wow, holy shit. It's like we can watch
the, it's like the Arby's which sneaks in and then boop, touches him and he just (croaks). - [Justin] Boy that's challenging. - [Griffin] Yeah, he's
like a depressor morph . - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Fuck this is scary. (laughs) - [Justin] It's really scary. - [Griffin] What are we like? - [Justin] I almost don't want to. It's like. - [Griffin] It's kinda good. - [Justin] There's something
like creepy Victorian boy. That it? - [Griffin] Yes. - [Justin] You know what I mean? Like, I want to look
at this by a gas lamp. I think the other way was
looking pretty good actually. - [Griffin] You like it sad like that? - [Justin] That's like really sad. I like how sad he is. - [Griffin] Oh, he can go even further. He can go way further than that. - [Justin] No, fix that. It's too sad. There was something about
when it was, "Sinha", it's like he's looking through you. - [Griffin] Wow, this
is the saddest creature I've ever seen. I almost feel like anything we do to make it too big at this point. And I know this is
sacrilege for this show. - [Justin] No, I think it's like nuanced-- - [Griffin] Too kind. - [Justin] Too kind, sadder. - [Griffin] Light on the nose. - [Justin] Griffin, I'm
serious the creation of it all feels wrong. - [Griffin] Right. - [Justin] Well, what about the-- okay, what on the fuck? Get up. - [Griffin] "Norris", "Norris", baby. It's probably the nose. We can certainly do something
with the nose, yeah? - [Justin] Yeah. Wow, that is sad. I like that. - [Griffin] It's all, "Beet." - [Justin] It's a choice of depth of nose is, "Beet", or, "Dirty." - [Griffin] Fuck, there's something about this slider hitting,
like at a certain point and I don't know where it is but it does remind me of cats. Like I don't know where
it's giving that to me. - [Justin] Yeah, yeah. - [Griffin] Aw. They've been flinging all the freaking Angry
Birds at me again, man. I'm so tired of getting my
house pelted by the Angry Birds. I wish like at a certain point a button would just
appear and just be like, "Are you trying to make a piggy? "'Cause just press Y right now "and we'll make you a piggy nose for you." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Let's save
us both a bunch of time. - [Justin] You got better things to do? - [Griffin] How are you feeling? - [Justin] Good Griffin. I mean bad 'cause I'm looking
at him but I love him. - [Griffin] Can I say something? - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] I've sort
of reverted on the nose. - [Justin] Really? Yeah, I completely agree. I'm so happy to hear you say that. - [Griffin] Now, let's see
how we unfuck this melon. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Or fuck it in a different challenging way, I guess. That's good. That's good! - [Griffin] That's better to me. - [Justin] That's better for me, yes. Oh my God it's like. Can I say something? - [Griffin] Mm-hm. - [Justin] The realer it gets. - [Both] The worse it gets. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] What has happened? - [Griffin] Oh my God. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] How fucking powerful? Again, just to show you,
with this one slider. They say the eyes are the
windows to the soul or whatever. I think it might be the
cheek bones because fuck. - [Justin] It's like he goes
from, if you raise it up. He goes fully, a 100% from
like, "Hey, how you doing? "Ah, I'm hanging in there, you know? "Well actually, now that I
think about things, my back." - [Griffin] (laughs) oh shit, this one's even
worse 'cause this one's like, "Eh, you know, let's put
on a brave face", to like, "Oh fuck, oh man."
- [Justin] Oh fuck, man. - [Griffin] Yeah, you know we're
trying him here, aren't we? Oh my God, what is that? - [Justin] (giggles) - [Griffin] "Orbit", "You can", "Wide". That's quite strange, huh? - [Justin] Yeah, I like that. - [Griffin] That's quite strange,
that the head would decide to move like that and just eat the hair. Oh, here comes the high tide rolling in. "Spicy" is. Oh man, it's just perfect where it was. The, "Lipoproteins", though. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Oh shit. "Lipoproteins", where also perfect. Whoa, we're at a crossroads
now Juice, aren't we? - [Justin] Yeah, this
is really a big choice. I mean, thin feels better
but that could just be because I've been seeing thin for so long. - [Griffin] Yeah. Yip, let's leave it then,
let's not second guess it. "Mouth", "Cucumber hydrate." (laughs) We'll just give 'em a quick wrap. "Jelly Medicine." (laughs) - [Justin] Dose of his, "Jelly Medicine." - [Griffin] "Son, your chin
looks awfully deep today, "have you been taking
your Jelly Medicine?" - [Justin] (giggles) - [Griffin] "Son, are
you eating jaw breakers "in church again?" - [Justin] "No." Hm mmm. (laughs) The jaw out on, "Dirty", is pretty good. - [Griffin] It is good but I
also feel like we've done that and now it's just like grandma. - [Justin] Yeah, you're right,
you're right, you're right. - [Griffin] Grandma big eyes. Yeah. - [Justin] Oh boy, that's better actually. - [Griffin] I kinda,
but can I say something? I think I like it better in the middle 'cause again this is a
caricature of something. - [Justin] Hmm mm. - [Griffin] This is just a horrible man. - [Justin] Yeah, I hear ya. That's in too far. I feel even that, right. - [Griffin] Right there? - [Justin] The mundanity is
what makes this such a sad man. - [Griffin] Yes, well I
could really, if I went ham on all these though, I
could really tuck that chin right the fuck up into his head, hah? - [Justin] You gotta resist that, you know, you wanna move on with your art. - [Griffin] Look at that,
there's a little nub in there where you get an extra little
pokey poke or something. See that? This is good. - [Justin] This is really good. Is there a save? - [Griffin] Ah, I'm gonna take a guess and say it's, "Keep it in mind." - [Justin] "Keeping your
current place as your favorite." Yes. - [Griffin] We can just,
"Load load", right? Now? - [Justin] I guess, yeah. - [Griffin] See, this is what's wild, is it's gonna get more cartoonish and that's not gonna be good. - [Griffin] Wow, his
getting very-- (laughs) oh no, I like him. - [Justin] No. - [Griffin] You don't like him? - [Justin] I want my son back. I loved him. I loved that sad idiot. - [Griffin] You have to
kill me first Justin. - [Justin] (laughs) Happily. - [Griffin] You gotta say it out loud. - [Justin] Look at him. - [Griffin] I guess I'm back. - [Justin] (laughs) I
really like to believe him. - [Griffin] What does
the hair need to say? It says like eh. He kinda looks like, no, that's
rude, it would be very rude for me to say that this looks
like a certain celebrity, 'cause that would not be
a very nice thing to say. - [Justin] No. - [Griffin] But, y'all know
who I'm talking about, right? - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Oh, wow. - [Griffin] Papa like? - [Justin] I don't know,
it's like almost too, oh, what an idiot. - [Griffin] Oh him? - [Justin] Look at that hair cut. - [Griffin] Yeah, no, he sucks. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] I love him. It's a rug, right? We're all in agreement, it's a rug, right? - [Justin] Oh yeah, let's do a, just turn it completely down,
I want it that super black that doesn't reflect any light. Damn dog. - [Justin] God, that's rough. Oh man. - [Griffin] I feel like
he almost doesn't deserve a thick brow. You know what I'm-- - [Justin] Thank you, yeah you said it and I was feeling it. - [Griffin] Maybe he
doesn't deserve any brow. Oh cool, wait, now he kicks ass. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Check this out,
sad Victorian boy, blogger. Every one is like a new, like I feel like I'm flipping
through his family album. - [Griffin] (laughs) Justin,
the goatee really is, "Lighten me the fuck up right now". - [Justin] Oh, the mustache is rough. - [Griffin] Oh shit, I did
not see him with facial hair, I thought we were just kinda
goof around in this menu but that goatee, shit. - [Justin] It too debonair I feel like. - [Griffin] Really? That's what it's hitting you with? - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Is debonair? This fucking-- - [Justin] It looks like his. No, no, you know what
that does, it's trying, his like his trying. - [Griffin] Yeah, I guess that's true, he would have to shave
that in a particular way. - [Justin] Exactly right. - [Griffin] (laughs) - [Justin] "Maybe that's
just all I can grow." "Yeah man, you're looking for
the Elixir guitar strings, "those are in the back." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Fuck Juice, I
think he needs facial hair. - [Justin] Really, that's so interesting. See, that to me. Whoa, if we just go back to that mustache. - [Griffin] Which one, this one? - [Justin] Ah man, take a second though. Just live in that for a second. - [Griffin] I'm trying to, I'm trying. See I feel like this is
almost cooler than this. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] I feel like this sucks so bad. - [Justin] Yeah, it really does. - [Griffin] Oh, we'll give
him long, lushes lashes. - [Justin] Got to. - [Griffin] Okay. I'm fucking crazy about this boy - [Justin] (laughs) I love this idiot. - [Griffin] We need to keep
it in my mind real quick. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] "Student", "Student". - [Justin] Whoa. - [Griffin] Whoa, he stopped responding. Boy, boy, boy. This isn't Justin, I can still play but the boy isn't moving anymore. - [Justin] Okay, let's calm down. It's still reacting. - [Griffin] It's doing something. Justin, what the fuck
is going on? (laughs) Okay, we did just keep it in mind. - [Justin] That's a-- - [Griffin] That ain't him. - [Justin] Don't, "Load load", that. It looks different. - [Griffin] Do we need to just play. - [Justin] Yeah I think
you should just get out. I think he's just right. - [Griffin] Well, we do need to name him. What's a good old Victorian boy name? - [Justin] Wilbur? - [Griffin] That's where
you think people were in Victorian times? - [Justin] Let's see,
popular Victorian names. - [Griffin] And I think
it can be something fun like put a sort of Penny
Draper vibe one it. So, it cold be like a Thick
Thomas or something like that. Like Tiny Tim. The fact that his not
moving sucks (giggles). - [Justin] (laughs) Yeah. - [Griffin] Why don't we do it this way. I'll say the first word and
the first word in his name is the sort of modifier adjective. - [Justin] Mm-hm. - [Griffin] And you can
pick the name, name. And we'll put them together into an old timey Victorian name. - [Justin] Okay. - [Griffin] You ready? One, two, three, grown. - [Justin] Hugo. - [Griffin] No. - [Justin] No. - [Griffin] Try again. - [Justin] Try again yeah, try again. - [Griffin] Hungry faced. - [Justin] Gilbert. - [Both] (laughing) - We can do Gil.
- Gil! Gil. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Fate has delivered
his name to us, Griffin. - [Griffin] Yeah. - [Justin] "Hungry-faced Gil." (laughs) - [Griffin] Can I play the
game with this character? Yes, show me that face. Show me that face and I swear. Oh, he's making us wait for it, isn't he? - [Justin] (giggles) Kept you waiting, huh? - [Griffin] (laughs) We got him. - [Justin] We got him. - [Griffin] We got him. We do need-- - [Justin] Oh yeah, he's
so unprepared for this. - [Griffin] He's just
gonna take a drink of his, "This is a hole." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] That's neither
refreshing nor not refreshing. - [Justin] I'm at the
same level of parched that I was when I began. - [Griffin] Yep, let's go and do battle. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] See you guys in the adventure. - [Justin] (laughs) Thanks for joining me. - [Griffin] So, I've
made a couple changes. The first is that sometimes
there's more enemies and they are a little mad, they're madder than they are normally. But what's cool is that
I'm good at the game and even when there's a lot more guys. - [Justin] Count one shot, one kill, huh? - [Griffin] Well yeah, I made it sort of. Oh see, but there's even. Oh see, he's helping me out. Oh shit. - [Justin] (laughs) That's your friend. - [Griffin] That's my bud, that's Justin. - [Justin] He's too sad, let him go. That's like the other bully,
that picks on the first bully. - [Griffin] This is just
like Groundhog Day, you know? Like this time-- - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] Wow, these
are strong gentleman, hah? I think the pound-- - [Justin] You took that hit. - [Griffin] I did. - [Justin] Try and drink
your essence flask. - [Griffin] Justin it's
my, "This is a hole." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] It's fucking a lot. - [Justin] There's a lot of gentlemen. This is a crowded party. - [Griffin] This is a big
party, I'll be honest. We've started with the wrong class again. We've started with the bad class. - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] I got good news though. "F Glass E", we find that we're gonna have "Ffordd and Glas." there's something gnarly over
there with a murder scythe and he's like, "Come in my way, partner." - [Justin] (laughs) Yeah, I
don't like the look on him. Get your souls. - [Griffin] Oh fuck! - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Did he curse you? - [Griffin] He hit me through a block and murdered me in one hit. Okay. - [Justin] "Red and green chef Mousi." - [Griffin] Now this is
the sequel to Ratatouille and I've went ahead and added right, all of Ratatouille into the game. And we're very excited to get to that. Okay, let's see if I can just
give him a little bit of the. - [Justin] Oh, the old razzle-dazzle. - [Griffin] Scooch. - [Justin] I don't think that dog is gonna let you through dude. - [Griffin] Oh, so it's a monster bird. Okay. - [Justin] That changes everything. - [Griffin] I think running and dodging may be the best course of action 'cause I don't think standing and fighting is ever going to work out. So, first.
- [Justin] Wow. - [Griffin] Dodge that, dodge
that, dodge that, dodge that. Those guys are gonna be
difficult to get around. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] I lost my food! This whole time I've been carrying the same roast beef fucking sandwich. "Silver Silver Silver." - [Justin] (laughs)
"Silver Silver Silver", although it may be a golden color. - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] Don't get it twisted. - [Justin] Twisted? (laughs) - [Griffin] It's triple silver. - [Justin] You're gonna
have to just methodically grind it out Griff. - [Griffin] If I can hit those fucking two blades murder guys,
they'll go down in one hit. - [Justin] Yeah, right. - [Griffin] See, here
they fucking come though. - [Justin] Yeah, but you've
lured them into you're lair. - [Griffin] Fuck, please no. I've killed the worst guys out here. No, not another fucking dog! So, the trick here is that
there's no aggro radius. They all just pop off
as much as is possible. - [Justin] (giggles) - [Griffin] Okay, okay,
okay, we're loving it. - [Justin] You're doing this,
you're sending them to hell. - [Griffin] Got my, "Fighting
wheat", got my, "Close." Okay, now here's the problem is that when you do find one
of the randomized items in the game, and they
have been randomized, you have to equip it immediately. So, now this is sort of the-- Ooh, okay. Glow up, fuck yeah. - [Justin] (laughs) Now you're ready. - [Griffin] Now do I have the stats to properly wield this item. It doesn't appear so but
everything in the game is one hit so who's to fucking say. Yeah, see that only hits for
nine damage but nine's enough. - [Justin] Enough (laughs). - [Griffin] Come on. Come on stupid. - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] All right,
that guy with the scythe is gonna transform into a terrible bird. But his friend next to him
doesn't seem to be doing shit, so I'm gonna sorta. - [Justin] Yes. - [Griffin] Dump that. - [Justin] You're next. - [Griffin] Got that, got them, "Souls." what's up? - [Justin] He was afraid. - [Griffin] He was afraid. Ooh, we got a crystal lizard up there. I see something making some
sort of purple stuff up there. - [Justin] Not loving it. - [Griffin] Not loving that, no. - [Justin] Can you spin your,
"Souls", to the bonfire? Is that an option? - [Griffin] I can't spin
the, "Souls", until I beat whatever the first boss is called. - [Justin] So you'll never do that? - [Griffin] So I won't
be doing that today. - [Justin] You don't even have to worry about the whole, "Souls", thing. - [Griffin] Shit, fuck! It's all in the mind. - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] I'm sure you're fine. I need to drink both charges of this very weak, "Is a hole." Fuck! He saw right through that thing. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] The oldest trick in the book. Do the exact same thing again. - [Griffin] I can't even
use my, "Coach Coach Coach." (laughs) I don't know what to do. I don't know what to. He's weapon is so much longer than mine. Yeah, get dumped on. Good news is this area should be empty because everything here ran
in to try and kill me already. - [Justin] Wow, it looks so
bad what's happening up there. - [Griffin] That looks
so shitty and bad, it's-- - [Justin] You're just
heading that way, huh? - [Griffin] I gotta go that way. - [Justin] Surprise them. - [Griffin] I wasn't even gonna hurt them. No, Justin why? We got so greedy, I
coulda just ran passed. - [Justin] Damn it! - [Griffin] That was the last dude, there's a bonfire right
fucking past there too. I don't have the kind of
patience to do that again. So, we are now just gonna keep
running through until we-- - [Justin] I feel you're
gonna start getting some similar outcomes. Whoa, nice. Whoa, fuck yeah. - [Griffin] Run, you fucking dummy. - [Justin] You burnt a lot of his stamina. - [Griffin] Then drink a apple juice. - [Justin] (laughs) Take a nap. - [Griffin] Fuck yeah. Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit! Don't let him get the pleasure. - [Justin] (laughs) Your
fall there, which was pretty count there, pretty dec. Good hops. - [Griffin] Scusi, scusi, oh, another huh? You're a different kind
of pupper aren't ya? Look at this fucking toe beans Juice. - [Justin] I have a lot of
good memories of this fight from when it took you 40 minutes
to beat it as the Junker. - [Griffin] "Hey Bill,
how's the boss fight going? "Oh it's going pretty good, "I think designed a really good one. "Should you maybe like make it "so that he can't constantly attack? "No, no, no, no, no. "They'll figure it out,
they'll figure it out, "They'll figure it out,
they'll figure it out. "They'll figure it out, it's
fine, it's fine, it's fine." Well, here's the good news. - [Both] (laughing) - [Griffin] Nevermind, I
didn't even get to turn into a big pile of black yogurt, ah man. (laughs) "Hey did you
cheat that boss fight? "That's not cool." - [Justin] Look how handsome you are now that your ember is restored. - [Griffin] Oh yeah, man. I've got all these sweet
little rave lines all over. Let's rest, get my party back. Hey, what are you? - [Justin] What the? - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] "This is were I spawn." - [Griffin] "I was trying
to learn the partying mode." Wow, he put me in the toilet, huh? - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] Hey Juice, I
have a profound worry that he's gonna be there every time. - [Justin] (laughs) I don't think that's how video games work, yeah. - [Griffin] Fucking stop. - [Justin] Yeah, quit, now
just heal up real quick. After that battle. Just heal by the bonfire,
after that battle. - [Griffin] Yeah, let me just rest up and get my strength
back, it's so important. Come along. I don't wanna open this
door anymore (laughs). - [Justin] This looks terrible. No, no, no stop it! - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Stop, don't hold me back. - [Griffin] "You trying to skip me, huh?" "You think skipping's possible, no bud." - [Justin] (laughs) Wait, do
you have any projectile at all? - [Griffin] Any ranged attack. - [Justin] Yeah, anything. - [Griffin] Let's see. I have this and it gives
me, "Support for dark cool." - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] But the good news is he is, Hulkamania is running
wild on everybody else, sort of in the-- - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] Oh fuck! Okay, they can get through. Jesus Christ, Justin. - [Justin] (laughs) - [Griffin] I feel like ranged magic may be actually important
for us to acquire. - [Justin] Yeah. - [Griffin] At some point in this run. But everything's randomized so. Oh, now my man's not back. Now my man's not back to
kill of of these idiots with one swing of his mighty axe. - [Justin] You can get 'em though. Look, they're all lined up for you. - [Griffin] Yeah, pretty maids all, yeah. - [Justin] Pretty maids all in row. - [Griffin] But let's-- oO, he is still out there. He is still out there. - [Justin] Yeah. Okay, I think your dad is
just to the left of you. It seems like your dad is
there ready to ground you. - [Griffin] (laughs) - [Justin] But you want
to go to Jeffrey's party. - [Griffin] Oh I see it (laughs)! - [Justin] I guess I
say, "Don't wake daddy." - [Both] "Gil!" - [Justin] "Get out here Gil!" - [Griffin] "Hungry-faced Gil, "did you shave like I told you to?" - [Justin] "Come rub Aunt Sophia's corns. "Gil!" - [Griffin] All right, I would love to at least be able to see. - [Justin] It's begin for it. Right after the attack,
there, there, there, there. Oh my God, he takes too hits. - [Griffin] Took two hits. That could've been really bad. "Rats have been broken." - [Justin] (giggles) It's official. - [Griffin] Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck, what? No, no, we're full. We're full. - [Justin] We're full. - [Griffin] I said we're full. God! I need to stop yelling. Oh shit, I was looking
at my phone, I forgot. I can't, like there's no pause. I mean there's pause, on the
dog that starts on top me and tries to kill me. - [Justin] You guys just charged
right through it, so rude. - [Griffin] Oh, okay, they
didn't wait this time. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Oh man, Griffin,
your beautiful Souls. - [Griffin] I know there's
a lot of Souls over there. Oh fuck, not that way. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Okay, get those Souls first. 'Cause you can't do this again. Maybe just fucking go. - [Griffin] Yeah. Oh Jesus, God. - [Justin] Oh, your dad is there. Your dad is there and
all his drunk friends. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] Go Gil, go! - [Griffin] What? - [Justin] What the fuck? Impossible. Well, at least your Souls
are gonna be real easy to retrieve this time. Remember the dog. - [Both] (laughing) - [Justin] They shoulda
released it like this. The original grim-- - [Griffin] Okay, I gotta take a break. - [Justin] Hey, thank you so much for watching Monster Factory,
we're so glad you're here but we do want to let you know this is gonna be the last episode posted to the Polygon YouTube channel. - [Griffin] Yeah, moving forward. If you want to watch Monster Factory and catch the end of Hungry-faced
Gil's excellent adventure. You're gonna head on over to The McElroy Family YouTube channel. And smash that subscribe button so hard that YouTube shatters beneath
the weight of your finger.
Clayton with the A+ editing.
Holy shit this one tickled me. Between the fever-dream snippets of text flooding the screen, Hungry-Faced Gil's desperate sprint across the demon-infested hellscape, and angry Dad and his drunk friends, this one goes straight into the hall of fame. That poor, sad, nude man is the pefect hero for our times.
Proof that these boys could return to any well and make it entertaining
In allowing themselves to set middle sliders, they managed to find the hidden slider of Despair, and cranked it all the way up to Awesome.
I think this is the best monster factory yet
This is top tier Monster Factory right here. The FromSoftware games are the most fertile well the boys have ever found.
I think the Situation (gender) selection screen is the single most powerful dialog box I have ever seen in a video game
Griffin's on the fly PaRappa the Rapper reference got me so hard I had to pause it.
Toe to tip, this was a phenomenal episode. The constantly insane text, the dog spawning on top of Griffin at the bonfire and spinning around like a top... I want this mod so bad, but I'm too obsessed with Ni No Kuni 2 to stop.
I'm not 3 minutes in and I can already tell this is going to be absolutely choice.