Justin: Seems like you gotta grab something, right? Griffin: Ooh, I just started pressing other buttons on the keyboard. Oh, did you like that?
Justin: Whoa! Nice, Griff. (both laughing) (lively music) Griffin: Well, Justin, I know we told people we were gonna do a little arts and crafts mini series, but why do things like painting or sculpting when you can sculpt your body to become a perfect gymnastics machine? Justin: The body's a sculpture that's living and breathing and bleeding. Think about it. Griffin: And gymnisting. Gymnasting. Because it's an engine that burns food as fuel and turns it into gymnastics. Isn't it? Justin: That's a bracing way of thinking about it, Griffin, but it is something that our dad said to us growing up and I think there's still truth to it. Griffin: So this is "Pro Gymnast," and "Pro Gymnast" is a game that- look it's got so many fucking sliders. Somebody sent me a message like, "Hey, look at all these beautiful sliders." Not many there. More there. So we're gonna-
Justin: Why? Griffin: We're gonna take the bones and harness the dark energies that this game allows us to channel and then just, then we're gonna flip. We're going to do flip. Justin: And that's tough because the body needs the bones for gymnastics. Griffin: It's true, but we can turn off all the body- We can set body to "no." Look at those. (Justin laughing) Clayton, can you enhance the baby's feet? (beeping) Clayton, enhance on the babies feet. Justin: Victor, You will be perfect gymnast. You have the feet of the baby. Griffin: Can I rotate? Is there, no, I'm not gonna-- Justin: Rotate the foot. No, they gotta be forward. Griffin: I know but they love it when the foot is forward. No, I can't seem to rotate them. Gluteus size, I guess we're just gonna have to trust that it's a big-- Justin: Max is the way to go, yeah. Griffin: Big max ass. Hand size, tiny, tiny. Head size, big, big, big. Justin: I feel like these should be factored into, with the performance like in "Madden", right? Griffin: Yeah. Justin: If you're adjusting your quad size, it's going to help you juke and toss. Griffin: Stiff arm and I think those are the only two moves that you're legally allowed to do. I wanna make the least extreme extremities that we possibly can. Muscularity--
Justin: How do you mean? Griffin: Fucking huge, yes, choice, excellent. Justin: Yeah. Griffin: Wow! They let you let you make them pretty big. That's exciting.
(murmuring) Big. Justin: Hey, I think that's exciting cause my people have been kept out of sort of gymnastics for too long. I think we're ready to take it back. Griffin: I like a max slider. Let me ask you, Justin, how you feel about the simply tremendous amount of arm clipping that we have going on. We can reduce. Justin: Yeah that is actually- can we reduce that a little bit just so I can get the full-? That's perfect. That's perfect. Griffin: Okay, we can-
Justin: And that's just a fun guy, you know what that is? That's a healthy guy. Griffin: Yeah. Head hair. Whoa. Justin: God that's really close to my haircut. It's troubling. Griffin: Wow, it is really close to Juice's haircut though. Justin: Yeah. Griffin: He's got your piercing orange eyes. Short curls, slick back. Now that's close to my haircut, isn't it? These are some pretty bodacious 'dos. If I like what's got- Justin: Yeah. Griffin: I'm almost the most into this one because it doesn't look like these are bangs. It just looks like this is the front of the scalp. Right? Justin: It looks like he had a regular haircut that got turned. (Griffin laughing) Griffin: And you know what, I bet you that this is gonna, I'm tempted to go with this one cause I feel like it's going to have a lot of fun interplay with the rest of the facial features. Justin: Yeah absolutely. Griffin: That we're about to scooch around. Justin: Usually faces in games we play are better and I like how this one doesn't give you any sort of hint about the emotional impact that your actions are having on this character. If you're looking for them to blanch, at your reshaping of God's perfect creation, they are not going to give it to you. Griffin: I think We're probably gonna get most of the emotional reaction when I do flip jump bars, spin, tag around. Justin: This gymnast doesn't care about their body, you know what I mean? Like they don't care what their body looks like. Griffin, in a silly voice: People. People love flip. (laughing) People do a big flip. Justin, in a silly voice: Your communications are so primitive. With flipping, this how you say love. Griffin: People needs more grabbing chalk. (Laughing) For grabbing. Justin: How did you do the flip that says, "I." Oh, no. Aah, golly. Now, okay. Wait a minute. (laughing) Griffin: Whoa, he just, weirdly he got. He gets super- beeper gets really handsome when you just sort of space that out a little bit. Oh man.
Justin: Okay. Griffin: Look at those juicy eye stocks. I almost feel like middle is the right. Justin: You- No, Absolutely not. Come on, Coward. Griffin: Forehead. Hey, who me? Oh, not me. Justin: Wait! Oh, no. Griffin: He's got a pretty cool eye piercing going on right now. Which one do you like better? A perpetually surprised gymnast. Justin: Yes. Griffin: Okay. Justin: Cause this shouldn't be working. Yet, it does. Griffin: Cool. Cool. Cool. Just bring the, bring the scalp down even further, please. Justin: I hate his eye color so much that it's distracting me. Can you change it? I hate it. Griffin: Beautiful blue? You're like those beautiful blue? Justin: Who has orange? Griffin: Yeah, nobody. Lip size. Oh! (grunting) Justin: Don't pout. Oh, whoa. Griffin: Man, we are kind of making like an alien. Whoa!
Oh yeah! Justin: Nobody tells me how to gym. Griffin: I can eat Buffalo wings in this Planet Fitness if I want! (Justin laughing) Justin: I like the idea of an alien. It completely ignorant of our culture, but also completely arrogant. So he, as soon as he landed, he saw gymnastics and he saw people eating buffalo wings, like, "Yeah, I get it. You guys just do flips all the time. I can do this. And then you'll only eat Buffalo wings and that's it. That's your whole culture. I get it." Griffin: Does this look like a very mean caricature of Stephen Fry? Justin: Oh my God. The name was in my, it was in there, Griffin. Yeah, it was. But I didn't want to say it. Griffin: We'll try to navigate away from Stephen Fry. I don't want to besmirch. Justin: Like the anti Stephen Fry, pretty much. Oh God, that's more like Stephen Fry. Griffin: That's way more like Stephen Fry. Shit. Justin: Oh man, if you blur your eyes, it's exactly Stephen Fry and this guy can only blur his eyes. (laughing) Oh man, Griffin! Griffin: Yeah, we need to stop, but I can't. Justin: It's just looking more and more like Stephen Fry. Stop! Griffin: Okay, now we're getting back to sort of beat Bebo the alien man. Justin: How about, okay, change the hair color. That'll get us out of this situation. Griffin: But then it's just going to look like a cool punk rock Stephen Fry. Justin: It looks like Stephen Fry in different wigs. Griffin: I know. Justin: Damn it. Maybe different hairstyle? I don't know. I'm like, I'm struggling. I'd like to hang with you cool kids. It's me. I've got drugs. Griffin: Does anyone have any marijuana? Military Steven Fry's pretty neat. I always thought that dude could really kick some major ass. Nose size. Whoa, yikes. Nose width. Fuck. (mouth explosion sound effect) Justin: Full blast. Griffin: Full blast, okay. I think that's all we're going to get out of the face and stuff. Maybe we should settle on a haircut. I really, I really, really liked- Justin: Whoa, look how the eyes are sort of poking through that one. Griffin: Oh, I still really like this. Justin: Yeah, just get it. Griffin: I feel like the nose is too much. Justin: It's too much, right? I'm so glad you said that. Griffin: Let's see. That's beautiful. Justin: Hmm, dainty. Where is the skin color? Let's have some fun with skin color, Griffin. Griffin: Yeah, kind of like that. This is a fucking cool customer ready to flip on some bars. I forgot about his body! (Justin laughing) Justin: A baseball shirt for gym. Hey, it's me, a pro gymnast. (Griffin laughing) You can tell. They got any other shirts? No, that's the best shirt isn't it? It says "pro gymnast" right on it. Griffin: Tank top shows off the boys. Justin: Yeah, but the other one says the word "pro gymnast" on it. Griffin: Do we do barefoot? I do want to- well with the little shoes. (Justin laughing) Justin: The little shoes are precious. Griffin: Do we want grips? I feel like that's performance enhancement, but I think he's going to need all the help he can get. (Justin laughing) Do last touches. I feel like I want the nose back. Justin: Really? But I want it back in different- I like a wide nose. I like an out nose. I like up tip. Ooh. See now we're getting some new lip stuff. Justin: What is happening there? No, that's good. Let's lean into that. What's happening here? Interesting. Griffin: The fangs are coming out. Aren't they? Justin: Okay. Now I'm afraid. Now I don't what to gym you. See that now I need whatever this is. Griffin: Whatever this is, he's got a little bit of jelly. Some leftover jelly from the biscuits he was eating. Justin: He's been eating gym jelly all morning to get ready. Griffin: And we just found the name. Oh, my caps lock was- That is how he spells it. (Justin laughing) Oh, we got a letter from our grandpa. "Dear Jim Jelly." Justin: (stuttering) "Dear, Jim Jelly." Griffin: "I've left you my gymnast zone. You should quit your office job and be a gymnast." No. Justin: Sincerely, Walaber. Did we come up with that or did they? Griffin: It says it recommends you use a controller. So let's see what not that is like for just a little bit. Training: Letting Go. Justin: Oh God, that's beautiful isn't it? Griffin: We can all use some help with this, couldn't we? Yeah. Haven't played this by the way, press space to release. (Justin laughing) Justin: Well, that's very good and a gold medal. A gold medal letting go. Griffin: Reach the final- Justin: The first level is letting go. This one's letting God. Did you do it? Griffin: Is that what they wanted? (Justin laughing) I guess not. Did it say something about slow time? Justin: H. Griffin: Whoa, what the fuck? Justin: Whoa. Nice job, Griffin. You made tofu appear. Griffin: Oh, Oh yeah. Let me grab that tofu.. Justin: Power out. This kid's got something special. Griffin: Please, please. With your just fingertips. Graze it. Fuck you. (Justin laughing) Griffin: Oh, it doesn't- It wants me to grab the last bar. Justin: Yeah. Griffin: Well now I know that. I'm not a mind reader. Justin: Or a screen reader. Griffin: I mean, I found the chalk. I just chose not to collect it. I'm not going to be very good at this video game, I'm afraid. Land on the target. Oh, fuck me, wow. Oh, my beautiful legs. Those are done. Justin: Oh, no. Griffin: Oh, so if you do get decapitated, it doesn't let you keep playing, okay. Here we go, Superman. Superman, Superman, Superman. All right, we're going to go zip. I don't know why that didn't do it. I feel like there's some buttons I should know about that it hasn't told me about yet. Justin: Space is release. Griffin: I got space and I got slow time so I can fail slower. Maybe I'm not supposed to go so far up on the mat because it does sort of dump me right in the toilet. (laughing) Justin: Seems like you got to grab something, right? Griffin: Oh, I just started pressing other buttons on the keyboard. Oh, did you like that? Justin: Oh, nice Griff. (both laughing) Griffin: Come on Jim. Damn, Jim. Justin: Damn, Jim. Flip? Griffin: Damn, Jim. Jim, grab it. Jim, grab it Jim! (Justin laughing) Damn, Jim. Come on Jim. Come on bud. Close the deal. Griffin: Jim knocked his own ass out. Justin: Flip. Yes. Okay. This is good. Oh, Griffin. Yes. You're- Now a little nap. (laughing) Ah, a real tragic turn. You hate to see this. (laughing) Justin: Come on, Griff. There's gotta be a button you're missing here, pal. Griffin: You would think if there was a button I was missing, Justin, they would have fucking told me about it. Justin: It's in early access. Maybe. Oh, crunch. Maybe, okay. Why don't you hit escape? Let's look at the key bindings. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, baby. Oh, baby. Griffin: You want to look at the key bindings? Justin: Let me just see the key bindings real quick. Griffin: Yo. Whoa! Justin: Jim can't take much more of this. Come on. Come on. Not in front of my kids. Come on. Justin and Griffin: Tight grip. Griffin: That's what I'm not doing. Justin: Yeah. You gotta employ tight grip. Griffin: Gotta grab it real fast, don't you? Justin: In their defense, they did tell you to use a controller. Not quite tight enough. You're safe? Come on, I'm not done. I'll tell you when the trick's over. Griffin: I can get the fuck back up there. Give it to me. Give me gymnastics. Justin: Give me my metal. Griffin: Give me my metals please. (laughing) Justin: Valerie, I bet you and Jeff are loving this at home. Griffin: Put the kids to bed, honey. Alright, I'm going to turn the controller on after this one. (laughing) Justin: Oh! Griffin: Alright, now I have to learn a whole new thing. Oh, this is much easier. Fuck. Wow. That hurt. Okay. So B resets. Can really get a lot of movement with the keyboard. Fuck yeah. Oh Shit. Yeah I can do a lot of really dope shit on a controller. I'm glad I switched. Okay. But I still don't really know what the grab button is. Oh wait, do I grab shit automatically? Justin: Maybe you grab automatically? Griffin: That would be so embarrassing if that is how it worked. Come on, get the fuck- Justin: Oh, no. Griffin: Jim Jelly's doing his own shit. Justin: He can't be contained by objectives. (laughing) Griffin: Just kicked myself in the fucking face. Justin: Sliding. Grab it. Griffin: You just go ahead and grab it if you don't press any buttons Justin: Wow, Griff. Get the chalk. Griffin: Get that chalk. We're going to scoop it. Scoop that fucking beautiful body. I got it! Justin: You got it! Griffin: And now I'm going to just launch myself straight fucking down like an arrow. From God into hell. I pressed the reset button. (laughing) Justin: Now run, I don't want to do it anymore. Come on Jim. Come on Jim. Valerie, and Valerie's new husband, Jeff and all the kids. They're all counting on you. Come on Jim. Griffin: Sonic the fucking hedgehog. There we go. (laughing) Justin: Perfect. Perfection. Put your hands on it! There we go. Justin: Here it comes. Okay. Okay. Don't swing. You don't need to swing. Griffin: I do. Justin: Just to get the chalk, though. Griffin: Can you tell a bird not to fly and do bird stuff? Justin: All right, Jim, just land this baby. Griffin: Can you tell a bird not to have feathers, like a bird has them? Justin: Go on, Jim, just stick it. Griffin: Can you tell an ocean not be be waves and do fish inside of them, Justin? Justin: Try to gracefully flip off of it so you'll definitely just drop to the ground like a metal fart. (laughing) It got bored of you. Aw! Griffin: Nice try, idiot! Justin: Nothing can stop a Jim Jefferies. Griffin: Jim Jelly. Jim Jefferies? Justin: Who's Jim Jefferies? Griffin: Pretty sure he's a comedian. Justin: Okay. Got it. Okay. Just stop, just stop. Why? Get the chalk, obviously get the chalk. Okay, you got the chalk. Now, just gracefully. (laughing) The greatest trick I've ever seen! Dude, get the chalk or it will make you do this stage over. Griffin: But now I can't seem to get anything going. (laughing) Justin: Come on. Why didn't I get myself more mass down there? Griffin: Come on, Jim. Justin: Come on Jim, get the secret chalk. Griffin: Jim, you've been doing it, bud. Just kick the chalk, Jim. Jim, this is getting fucking embarrassing. Justin: We're not going to be able to unlock all the gymnast bio videos. This will be perfect on Sega activator. Griffin: Yeah. I would love to get my glutes involved. I'm going to get my dumb, dumb butt to just fall right on- I look like a fucking bat right now. (laughing) Justin: First try. Griffin: First try. Justin: Sometimes you need a little more time to think. Griffin: God. (laughing) So I want to get myself. So my arms are- I am technically on it and I want points for that. Justin: Press "R" to release when the bar crosses the arrow. There's like several arrows on the screen. How on earth would we know? Griffin: They also don't know that I'm doing fucking cool rad shit. (laughing) Sorry, did you say that arrow? We didn't know you're doing the fucking raddest shit we've ever seen. Justin: He's a perfect gymnast. C'mon Griff, c'mon Griff. Didn't get it that time. This one, though. Griffin: I'm just not going to touch the sticks Justin: So that's your secret right there. Listen, if you need your arms, they will tell you how to use them. That's good. The cannonball- Oh, no, Jim. (laughing) This one though. Flip. Griffin: A little. Justin: Not. Griffin: Caught on the bars there. Gimme that! Justin: Can I say something a little controversial? If they'd scoot the mat back, you'd be killing this. Why they put it all the way up there? Griffin: Somebody find me a gymnastics potion. Justin: Oh, unfortunate. Griffin: I think even if I beef it on the ground, there's still an opportunity. Oh, here we go. (laughing) Justin: That's ironic. The one thing was literally fatal. Griffin: You'll receive these metals posthumously. Justin: They'll be delivered to your family. Griffin: Put my dead ass up on the pedestal. (laughing) Justin: That was so fun. Yeah. Reach the final object, Griff. You got this baby. Griffin: Fuck, yeah, I do. Justin: Yes. Griffin: This time I'm done doing it game style. I'm doing it Jim style. (laughing) Justin: He's so powerful. I'm not sure it's gymnastics anymore. (laughing) Yeah! Yeah! (laughing) Justin: It looks like some kids are doing gymnastics and an old man was like, "You kids want to see real gymnastics? Here's how we do it. Here's how we did it back in my day." Nice dude. Your combo's building. You just gotta chain a few more tricks together. That's all right. Nobody noticed, Griffin: Just got to keep on- Justin: Just keep on doing gymnastics. Yep, just slip in there. Just like you planned. Griffin: Okay. If I can just kind of scoot it, just a little bit, just a little bit more. Fuck off! (Griffin yells) Justin: It's weird that they made grabbing the thing as you're flying through the air automatic. Like that seems like one of the harder things for a gymnast to do, right? Griffin: Is the grabbing it? Justin: The grabbing it when you're flying through the air. Griffin: Yeah. It's actually, I think wicked important to grab it, because if you don't, you're not really gonna be able to do gymnastics anymore. Justin: It's just weird that they made that automatic of all the things that could have done automatically. Griffin: Yeah. Like I could do- If the grabbing was automatic, Griffin could do gymnastics. See, sometimes Jim get excited. When Jim get excited, he grabs his own ankles which keeps those fucking pesky bars from getting on there. I get so stoked whenever it grabs that I immediately press the button again. Justin: You're just going to inch over there. Griffin: Oh yeah. It's not going to be pretty, but it'll get the job done. Fuck yeah. Justin: Yes, yes. Griffin: It wants me to flip and shit, so I think that's- Justin: Of course it wants flips. Griffin: Something like Monica in my life. This is my routine. It's to Lou Bega's Mambo number five. It's actually Mambo number six. I got the fucking hookup. Justin: Anyway, that's the- end of the- show of- my performance- today at the pier. Griffin: And I'm unconscious. Justin: There's no way you're going to land on your feet. You could barely clear that. I mean, come on. This is definitely where this ends. Griffin: This is the last, yeah. Justin: This is the last thing in the video, guaranteed. Because there's no way you're clearing it. Griffin: I got it. Justin: You got it? Okay. That came down to where you let go of the bar. Griffin: Yeah. Justin: I'm going to coach you through this. Griffin: That's what I've been fucking missing. Justin: Yeah. That came down to where you let go of the bar. You got to let down at the peak of your- I'll say when. Griffin: There's quite a bit of lag. Justin: I'll say when about two seconds before to account for the lag. Now! Griffin: Yeah! Justin: That's what I'm saying. Griffin: Would've been cool to land on the old feet, but. Justin: That will never happen, Griffin. Griffin: I do want to stop playing this. Justin: Yeah, of course. Of course you do. Griffin: What is the wildest one? Trampoline arena challenge? Justin: Yeah. I love that. It sounds like some American Ninja Warrior shit. Griffin: Rack up points- Justin: Rack up points for time runs out. Oh, they're taking you up. Oh, I love this. Oh, this is good. Jim, this is one we're actually going to be able to score like a real judge. Jim is, I'm going to say this and I- Whoa. Okay, wait a minute. He showing me something I didn't even know he had at this point. This is amazing. Griffin: And now let me back- Let me get the bar again. Justin: Just let him get the bar one more time. Let him get the famous jelly scoot. Griffin: Let me get that jelly scoot, baby. Justin: The Jim Jelly Roll, they call it. Griffin: Jim, pump those fucking arms, baby. Justin: Come on Jim. Griffin: Come on baby. Yes. Justin: Yes. That's brisk. Griffin: I just remembered you could slow time down. Justin: Well, I don't know what that- Yeah, that actually would have been really helpful in some of these harder challenges. ♪ Mm, whatchu say? ♪ ♪ Oh that you only meant well? ♪ ♪ Well, of course you did ♪ Whoa! Goodbye, Jim. Oh, Jim. No, Jim. Not like this. Griffin: Wait, I can land this. Justin: Yes. I know you can, Griffin. I know you can. Nope. Bad. Damn it, damn it. I'm not done. Early retire. (laughing) Griffin: Hey would you mind actually looking at the fucking scoreboard? Justin: Jim Jelly did score the best. Griffin: Only by a little bit. Justin: Yeah, exponentially better than Madde Becker. Who I'm assuming is some sort of Arctic Fox that was lured into the competition with dried meat. Griffin: So yeah, I mean, that was obviously the final flight of the Jim Jelly, given how it ended, but boy, what a way to go out. Justin: What a way to go. Congratulations, Jim. Griffin: Don't even need to score it, Juice. He's got 130,525. Settled. Griffin: Settled. Thanks Jim. Justin: Get some sleep. (ukulele music)
this was an extremely good one
looks like Steven Fry
This one almost killed me. I had to pause it to come up for air.
the Fry guys
Not the first time I've cried laughing at Monster Factory, but holy hell, I absolutely lost it at "I FORGOT ABOUT HIS BODY!"
This one almost killed me. I had to pause it to come up for air.
This one almost killed me. I had to pause it to come up for air.