Love vs In Love

[Music] hey thank you so much for joining me Tony Gaskins here I want to talk to you today about something concept that I spoke on a long time ago and it is love verse in love a lot of times people ask me about this and I'm gonna speak from a male perspective you know for the women you know what love is and you know what it's like to be in love but I'm gonna tell you from a man and a lot of times men don't understand this because something sometimes men don't understand themselves and I hear guys talking and I could tell that you know these guys have not come into full knowledge of themselves and some of these guys would be 50 60 years old because love is the gift that allows us to come into full knowledge of ourselves and if you don't allow yourself to fall in love then you'll never realize the depths of your spirit the depths of your soul you'll never truly know who you are if you don't have love if you don't give love purely and wholeheartedly and allow someone to love you equally or greater in reciprocation of the love that you're giving you'll never truly know who you are and I realize this and so I want I want you to understand especially for men there's a difference between love and in love and now people want to get all into the different types of love you know that the technical terms like eros and all the DS different you know words these big old words from the other languages look it isn't it's not that serious not that deep and that was a human that wrote that so understand it could be flawed but as a love and relationship coach who coaches relationships and coaches individuals on self love every single day I get to see in the heart of man and woman in the heart of man and woman every day all ages around the globe love is a universal lane but there's a difference between love and in love what you need to understand about love is that love in itself can be very shallow love can be very shallow so what I mean by that is with love love can be I can love this microphone you still this microphone and I find out you stole it I can kick your butt over this microphone because I love this microphone I love my possession I can love my shoes I can love this desk I can love this this laptop you steal this laptop and I find out you stole this laptop I'm calling the police on you and I'm sending you to jail for grand theft or whatever it's called cuz it's over $300 so it's grand theft for greater than petty theft but I'm sending you to jail because I can love this laptop so see that's what we have to understand about love a lot of people love their dog a lot of people love their cat so love can be in many forms in many ways but in love in love is a complete exclusive love it is a all inclusive all exclusive love meaning is one-on-one meaning that this love is so deep this love is a sacrificial love to be in love you will be 100% faithful and you will not intentionally hurt this person that you are in love with sacrificial love meaning that you will die for this person I am in love with my wife I am in love with my two sons those are three beings that I will die for I will die for them I love my mother my father my sister but see in love not just about blood relation in love is a choice you don't find in love you choose in love you don't fall in love you walk in love see if a person is hurting you continuously intentionally they are not in love with you they may have love for you people say well can you cheat on someone you love absolutely because love is not all-inclusive it's not all exclusive you can I love this microphone but I can cheat on this microphone with another microphone but if I am in love with this microphone this is going to be my mic and my brand and my thing forever there's a difference between love and in love and I want you to understand this and realize that yes people say oh no you can't cheat on it if they cheat on you they don't love that's not true because love can be love can simply mean a strong liking of you love can just mean an affection for you love does not mean that it is completely exclusive to you so you have to understand that there is a difference now when you are in love love is strong enough to keep you faithful so if I'm in love with my purpose and my purpose is teaching healthy relationships then guess what me being in this in this space I am going to be 100% faithful to my wife because I'm in love with my wife I'm in love with my purpose and I'm in love with God so I'm in love with my standard for living my belief system me being a Christian me living a Christian lifestyle I'm not in love with the church I'm not in love with religion I'm in love with the lifestyle that a Christian lives the lifestyle that I'm living loving my neighbor as I love myself being faithful to one woman not lying not stealing not killing I'm in love with the morals and the values and the standards not the religiosity and the dogma and the greedy pastor's I'm not in love with that I'm in love with the principles and the teachings and the walk so me being in love there and me being in love here with my purpose serving you teaching you from my mistakes from my experiences from what I do every day as a love and relationship coach it allows me a certain level of access and a certain level of knowledge and wisdom and understanding that may not be privy to you because you don't get to stay home and talk on the phone all day with people from around the world about love and relationships so what you hear may be limited in the experiences you know you don't have an inbox like I have on Tony inbox at Tony Gaskins calm that receives thousands of love stories relationships stories so your scope may not be as broad as mine so guess what I take what I hear what I learn what I experience and I bring it to you to make your life better that's my purpose I'm in love with my purpose I'm in love with my wife and you know why I'm in love with my wife because I allow her to love me and I allow myself to fall in love I allow her to love me and I allowed myself to fall in love and the reason how I did that the way I did that is by being 100% faithful to her not cheating on her emotionally or physically and so in the first two years I was not 100% faithful emotionally in my mind and my spirit I was wavering I was getting weak but then I made a decision at 25 years old coming through the second year of marriage I say I'm gonna be a 100 percent locked in and focused I'm not gonna have wandering eyes looking around looking for an opportunity to cheat I'm gonna be locked in I'm gonna be different every single man I know is a cheater and I'm gonna be different I'm going to see what this feels like I'm gonna see what happens when you love a woman purely wholeheartedly without lying without cheating without deceiving without manipulating without controlling that is amazing the feeling that I feel the grace that I feel the favor that I've received the blessings that have come from operating from a place of love it is overwhelming I am truly truly the richest man on the planet I'm the richest man on the planet because I allow love listen to what I'm telling you especially you men I allow love to flow through me and to receive love and I don't keep count my wife cannot out love me she cannot serve me more than I'm gonna serve her she cannot bless me more then I'm gonna bless her because I'm allowing love to flow through me it's not a competition I'm not keeping score I'm not saying oh you're not doing this you're not doing that I'm not doing that I'm not doing that I'm just and then guess what she reciprocates that love she reciprocates that love and it is amazing and not even when she's not reciprocating even when she's not reciprocating it just me loving her and being 100% committed and a hundred percent faithful I received blessings from God the universe whatever you want to call it but it is principled it's law that when you operate from love and you flow from love and you put good out Goods gonna come back that's why I'm here today that's why I'm blessed on this level you know Jeff Bezos founder Amazon just went through a divorce I'm richer than Jeff Jeff if you know Jeff got Jeff email send this to Jeff Jeff you was the richest man in the world I'm worth more than you now I'm richer than you because I'm operating from love when you operate from love me and my wife can go through a divorce tomorrow if I choose not to operate from love if I choose to be selfish if I choose not to make it work that's why I wrote the book make it work because in relationships we are selfish we are greedy we want it to be about us and we call ourselves oh I've outgrown them I've outgrown them no you grew in areas but they've also grown in areas so both are you gonna grow in different areas they don't mean that you outgrown one another it just means that you're growing in they're growing and you're growing in different ways and that's why you operate from love and your selfless and you come together and when you come together guess what now being together you are selfless you're a puzzle you strengthen one another and your strength is in your differences not in your similarities see marriage what do you see on marriage our own divorce irreconcilable differences that's the problem you feel like you need to reconcile your differences there is strength in differences not similarities so you're irreconcilable differences is what's causing a divorce when really that should be the reason you're together now if it's cheating if it's abuse or what-have-you that's totally different I'm talking about that in another video so you got to catch me next Sunday or on another Sunday where I talk about divorce but understand that if you are going through pain in your relationship if you're being lied to deceive manipulated taken for granted cheated on your partner is not in love with you and I always get the question can a man love two women at the same time absolutely not if a man is juggling you and another woman he is not in love with either one of y'all because to be in love in this way romantically only one person because it consumes the heart you can only be in love romantically with one person I'm in love with my sons but I'm in love with them in a different way not romantically you know I love them I love them was a deep love I will kill for them I would die for them that's a deep love and that is a different love then the way I love my wife I will kill for her and I would die for her but it's a romantic love so it's a different type of love but understand it is all-consuming I can never disown my sons and and on another child and say this not you're not my son you over here my son but this person don't come for me I cannot disown one of my sons for the other one because I love them I'm in love with them so understand in love is all-consuming it consumes the heart it takes everything it takes everything in you is pure is holy it's righteous look at those definitions is pure is holy its righteous it is blemish and spot free it does not mean that you won't make mistakes but it means your mistakes won't be intentional and when you make a mistake you're gonna learn from the mistake and you're not gonna repeat that mistake because you are in love I just Tony Gaskins I hope this kind of helps you understand whether you have love or in love just my take on it just my thoughts thank you so much for joining me a make sure you click the subscribe button whether you're on the podcast whether you're on YouTube subscribe so you'll be notified when I release new videos check the description on youtube check the links got a full day seminar coming up so keep your eyes out for it thank you so much we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 143,847

Rating: 4.9222007 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: wAt6Dym_cJQ

Length: 16min 27sec (987 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 06 2019