Logan Paul's first movie is worse than you can imagine

we've always used social media as a way to escape the mundane why be yourself when you can pretend to be an up-and-coming photojournalist a power-hungry sociopathic megalomaniac now you're fit gunning abuse because i can just jump off bro or an e-celeb that has a funny catchphrase anyways film and tv although being a lot more linear is still a form of escapism check this out quarantine has had the movie industry suffering more than ever even including the funny reverse film that was prophesized to bring people running back to the theaters only to fail to even double its budget which is surprising because like most people i paid to see the film twice thinking i'll be able to understand the dialogue on a second viewing [Music] you didn't make it so where'd it come [Music] from with so many of us being stuck at home theaters for the most part have been put to sleep at least in the uk anyway where in the year 2021 we still bravely pay for our tele licenses new zealand may have zero cases but at least we have fish and chips football and wife and at home is where the lower budget films have boomed with streaming platforms producing more content than ever for a monthly fee netflix has great shows that they never made amazon video has great movies they never made hulu has breaking bad if walter white left the meth business and disney has breaking bad if gus fring left the meth business youtube originals have also come onto the scene and one franchise that's probably youtube originals most popular is the hairline filling starring logan paul what is the premise of this movie what is it all about who wants to take the lead on this now the original thinning movie came out in 2016 and saying that like it was a while ago is unironically terrifying every day bro came out after the thinning good good god that's the same year mass effect andromeda came out and both are pretty much on par with the facial animations the thinning was directed by michael gallagher the same guy who directed the smiley film i covered a few months ago and as we all know that film was filled with oscar nominations not our enemies you don't get to be king of the internet [ __ ] be friends yeah yeah he was apparently a youtuber himself at one point running the channel totally sketch which has over a million subscribers the main premise being sketch comedy with the comedy being funny screaming watch this right now and apparently michael's biggest fear is spiders it's weird too because this film got a lot of nominations i mean it didn't win any of them and to be fair most of the nominations were from the streamies so take from that what you will such an amazing city full of arts culture and beautiful landmarks of course it's too bad though none of us are gonna um ever see those because we're always stuck inside making videos oh that uh that didn't age well also if you enjoy me punching down a mediocre content please consider subscribing it's free and only 99 of you watching are subscribed which is honestly pathetic if the green minecraft stickman can get 18 million five-year-olds to subscribe then i deserve at least half of that the opening text tells us that the world has been ravaged by overpopulation and the un now asks all countries to cut their population by five percent every year why contain it in america they've picked students as the choice group giving them a standardized test once a year with the lowest scoring students being executed q title card so this only affects countries that are members of the un so basically palestine and the vatican city are allowed to do whatever they want good to know the film takes place in austin texas 18 hours before the thinning and apart from the brown filter in the skyline making it look like a breaking bad scene in mexico everything looks normal that's because the film's set after the mass culling has been normalized so things have returned to normal for the most part apart from the mass cullings this basically means there was no need to spend extra budget making the world look more like a dystopia move over judge dreading your mega cities i'm innocent justice comes at a price remember what we talked about use the product rule to find the derivative i can't do this hey crin i like how the kid's just treating it like it's homework you know or something that isn't life or death i'll run this by tomorrow i'm totally fried yes you will be fried i'm the electric chair that's a good that's a good one i'm funny the boy simon no connection to a lonely man in sweden offers a bribe to the girl and she gives him contact lenses that help him cheat the exam oh my god this really is like standardized testing i love all the useless info the lenses have as well like what is anything on the right side meant to be it just looks like it's pong or something the girl lena is the main leader of the film well apart from that one gentleman who's colour-blind and she's played by payton list known for playing as tory in cobra kai the love interest in diary of a wimpy kid and emma ross in the disney show bunked i've never watched bunked but from this five second clip you can tell pretty much what the entire show is like we're just talking about my aunt erleen who came here once to get out of town after she got caught stealing a recipe to enter a pie making contest and is this story making sense yet cause i can keep it going bro lena gets a call from a doctor telling her that her mother is trying to leave the hospital against her advice so she'd rather spend the time she has left at home instead of the hospital me to be here they can't treat you at home i know so we're given a pretty emotional opening here i mean nothing really to criticize it's to the point no sad music and the delivery is brutally honest i think the best thing anyone can do now is to just keep her comfortable i'm sorry we cut to the governor's mansion 12 hours before the thinning the governor of who you may ask oh there he is mother epic blueberry hey i'm gonna make a uh run to the kitchen or anything i'm good blake thanks for asking you go ahead this is blake reading son of the governor and he's a very naughty boy sneaking out at night jumping over a three foot tall gate to meet with ellie harper if she looks familiar that's because she was frequently featured on teens react her real name is lea marie johnson and she is so famous that she has her own wikipedia article just like pewdiepie oh my gosh that was awesome the chemistry even goes offset as well where logan accidentally insults her for eating food she's like i yeah i'm hungry i'm gonna go grab another cookie and i was on i was on my like third day of the juice cleanse and sometimes i say stuff like uh to convince myself i don't need food and i was like like you don't need a cookie not like they sneak into someone's backyard to go skinny dipping the perfect excuse for logan to show his abs as this was a requirement in the contract if he was ever going to appear in this film we're in this together that's okay hey blake you know i think i do want something from the kitchen he gets brought back to his father the governor dean reading played by matthew glaive i'm not too sure about any of the films he's been in apart from starring in a pulp fiction parody film that has a three stars on imdb it's not very good do i have a sign on my back that says blow smoke up my ass did you put another sign on the director's back dean grills logan look let i'm not gonna call him blake the whole film come on this is the guy who broke every plate within a five kilometer radius you want a pop tart um no thanks hmm i'm not even sure what the point of this bit is like maybe it's to show some food is super scarce compared to others or maybe he's literally just a man-child keeping sweets in a secret box on his fireplace i wonder if i have time to stop for a snack he goes on to say logan should stop seeing ellie because she's a distraction the night before a life-altering test it's not the moment and honestly seeing logan quiet and reserved is really uh awkward even in real life he's outspoken and a total extrovert but seeing him act like he's you know the intimidated person it's really out of character for him he wasn't even this bad in airplane mode are you willing and capable to assist in the event of an emergency no not [ __ ] not [Music] now you have tomorrow and next year and after that you have the whole rest of your life to be distracted don't f it up i don't know if you guys noticed that but they dubbed him saying the naughty word because you know young adults being cold like they're cattle totally fine but the naughty swear word we cut to the morning three hours before the thinning and see the campus vista point high has been converted into some kind of like half prison get it because that's that's how you feel at school the thing is it looks like these shots were filmed at the perimeter of an actual prison so it wouldn't surprise me if they got the rights to the same prison where they film beyond scared straight from we can see students being checked before entering and all the guards are wearing face gear i understand the best way to dehumanize someone is by taking away their face but i'm not sure why they all like to wear black eye makeup behind the mask as well you know it looks like some kind of cheap batman cosplay it's just really jarring because you can see teachers walking around with lanyards right next to rainbow six siege operators i get they're doing this normal mix of society and dystopia but what am i supposed to see someone in power armor that holds the door open for you simon the kid from the beginning not to be confused by a lonely swedish man is given a slight nudge and i mean like a worm's poke level of nudging causing him to jolt forward and losing his contact lenses and not being able to find them when someone with rico in shoes walks over them how brave also the guards have uh voice changes and it it doesn't even sound intimidating commence lockdown sequence yes sir said you are quite the joker i had a darth vader mask as a kid and the inbuilt voice changer it sounds pretty much the same take out the garbage and then simon commits the worst defense of all swearing in a youtube video [ __ ] that's it tape it off this is a biohazard give this guy a mature rating and make sure no sponsors touch him again because it's the big test and some people might not come out of this alive it's time for the melodramatic slo-mo cam wow look at that parents hugging their children in slow motion a bag being searched in slow motion do you feel emotion yet no here add some hideo kojima lens flares have a teacher put the ashes of the students on his face logan then tries to talk to someone of the opposite gender and fails miserably um lana right yeah athena lina sorry um he wants lena to give him one of the contact lenses to cheat the exam but she's already gave the last one to simon oh i didn't hmm lana is then joined by a friend kind of flirty boyfriend maybe his name's kellen well it's almost a strategy he's being in love with your best friend who's in love with the guy that doesn't even know her name but that's just something i saw in a movie once not today gallon yeah you're right tomorrow's actually better for me anyway i feel the other students lining up perfectly represent the test audience when they were shown this interaction in the film one of the students lining up gets scanned and he gets caught with a bunch of answers scribbled on his arm pathetic if you're gonna try and cheat at least do it right and i basically cheated through all my exams and i passed if my school are watching this if you try sue me try it like i'm not gonna lie i can get you arrested you're right now whoa i've never seen a kid make it past the guards before kellen are you hacking into your dad's account again uh yeah so firstly he didn't escape he's made it about 100 yards and there's still a giant fence in the way secondly kellen isn't doing any matrix style hacking he's just putting in his dad's email and password i will give them this though the kid being captured is actually filmed from a different angle on kellen's phone because it's so common in these films when they film something on a phone and they just yoink footage from the actual studio camera also when they go to hit him look how flimsy their battens are you might as well just spray him with silly string inside the campus which looks totally normal apart from the walls being painted gray seriously just make them like a bright color and it'll look like a normal college again we can see logan reunite with his girlfriend ellie and assures her everything will be fine they lock down the school with shutters in case anyone tries to escape during the exam because you know the guys with batons clearly can't do their job commencement sequence i love as well how this is the only guard in the film with no gloves on because they can't operate the touch screen with them on they're introduced to the exam the usual rules no talking no looking around but then they throw this in for some reason and no matter how hard something looks there's always a chance a chance of what dying like you see half of the students here are terrified you might as well fit them with shotgun colors that explode if they get a question wrong the test is two hours long and we can see the tablets having four sections and how much of a pass rate you actually need to not get called getting one question wrong could give you a 75 pass rate so can you only get one question wrong or none at all okay here are the results and to add insult to injury you get the results pretty much as soon as the test is completed but instead of getting your scores you're just named if you failed and then you're taken away like you've lost the prices right or something touch me no no no no they also do this fake cop out where you think the kellen guy failed mostly because he can't stop sweating the entire exam but nope it's ellie instead if only she revised instead of skinny dipping i know i should be looking at ellie losing her life but i just can't take my eyes off logan paul's bicep look at it hugging his tight shirt i'm happy that his bicep was credited before leah marie johnson logan unhappy with his girlfriend being noscoped tries to call his dad to ask a favor to get her a quick revive call of duty reference laugh now dad they took ellie she's going to the thinning oh god i'm sorry son we have to do something daddy make a phone call you can say it was a mistake you know i can't do that i'm sorry son my hands are tight logan is so angry he nearly broke his iphone 11 and tries to save ellie by fighting against the system ellie runs the complete opposite way of every other escapee because you know she needs more screen time runs into a bunch of gta pedestrians and gets captured again anyway [Music] but first you're aboard a large vessel and someone dropped a jar in a lab and now everyone's infected you're the last person alive and need to defend yourself uh if i get some plywood for barricades a laser for self-defense and the dark knight on blu-ray to pass the time i should be okay oh a merchant ship okay maybe they can help me trade something i can use you go to buy all the supplies you need but there's one problem when the ship got infected it was five minutes before payday so you don't have enough money to defend yourself the merchant ship takes off and you're left all alone with the monsters if only i installed honey on my browser i could have avoided all of this honey can save you loads of money by finding coupons and applying them to your check congratulations you won congratulations congratulations oh no it's totally free that can be installed in two easy clicks when you apply honey with over 30 000 supported sites wait a moment as honey tries to find the coupon codes and you'll watch the prices drop here are some satisfied customers you can download honey by going by going to joinhoney.com forward slash pyro [Applause] oh oh my god oh security detail i'm saved i knew it all i had to do was hold out just a little bit the film cuts to a year later exactly 24 hours before the next thinning no time for world building we have to watch students suffer but not before a paid advertisement of logan paul topless again completing his girlfriend death revenge workout three hours before the thinning and we can see kids being escorted to their first thinning exam so this seems to be a thing people take every year but it's not really clear when they stop do adults not have to take the exam anymore is there a boomer thinning so this would mean all the adults are super intelligent as they've whittled down only the highest scoring people [ __ ] how many sides does a pentagon have five what causes disease bacteria how many letters are in the alphabet 26. by the way if what she's saying here sounds familiar it's because it was plastered all over the promotional material for this film back in 2016. how many sides does a pentagon have five what causes disease bacteria how many letters are in the alphabet 26. 20 million views by the way literally inescapable i'm not sure why she didn't give her sister the contacts to cheat i mean that was a really good plot point and it's just never mentioned again maybe she'd cough and then fall out like the last guy logan's dad comes in to wish him luck but you can tell their relationship has only gotten worse after ellie died blake i wish there was something i could have done but none of us are above the law not me not you not ellie that's a good line you should use in your speech today and then the thinning does something very brave no american film has ever done before mocking the british oh well do i do this every day olla do i look british do i look like a british person other way [ __ ] i like how the guy who pushed him looks like a scuffed robert patterson too and he exits the scene with the most pathetic parkour i've seen in my life and just to make sure like you know he's an antagonistic character he throws some random guy's phone for no reason the kids watch an animation about why they take the thinning basically explaining the world was uninhabitable from overpopulation i like this animation it gives a satirical take on how bad the situation is even including the royalty happy free music you hear in vanoss gaming videos others only let mommies and daddies have one baby in america what if only the smartest boys and girls got to live here we also learned it's only people from first to twelfth grade that are tested so basically their entire societies based on hoping that if you do russian roulette for 12 years straight you'll hopefully come out a model citizen and make america proud if you're not intelligent enough you get punished but illness out of your control is okay i guess oh yeah remember that douche character he bought a football into the hall just to remind you that he's a jock meanwhile in the governor's house he's just found a tape from logan saying he's going to purposely fail the exam to spy his father if you're watching this video then i'm no longer alive today i will be filling in enough incorrect answers to definitively fail my 10 241 exam my dad wants to stand by this system he's gonna have to stand by a system that put his own son to death he can't reach logan because the campus is on lockdown for the exam so chair goes smashy smashy logan throwing the exam by picking every answer as d like could you imagine the small chance that every answer was d and he just completely aces the test meanwhile one of the kids asks for help with the test yes nathan and my income is much more important than your life the test is finished and we see the children and students being escorted out [Music] sarah foster if you're wondering why she got five more seconds of screen time than the other students being dragged away that's because in a previous scene she offered the teacher sexual favors hoping he'd rigged the test for her but he didn't betrayal we see kellen worried about failing again yeah we're not we're not falling for the fake out twice in a row buddy nice try but what happens instead is logan passes while the clever girl lena fails this is because in the previous scene the head of security simon mason not to be confused with amazing role model mason from black ops just stop acting like a baby got a call from logan's father asking him to botch the test so he swapped logan's results with laners literally sentencing an innocent person to death by the way what what what did you say 10 minutes ago i wish there was something i could have done but none of us are above the law not me not you bro also lena's kid sister might have failed too but you know who cares she had like seven seconds of screen time is he safe the transfer is complete everything is in order governor mason i appreciate your discretion as always i need the word from you to make it official are we approved to commence the thinning you are approved yes sir good good are you ready time to sell the dream lena's teacher tries to stop her but securities say that there's no mistake there's no mistake so she slips lane or something before she's taken away the next scene is a party and people seem to be in really high spirits i mean i get it you have already been killed but you're telling me that no one here lost a friend or family member today and finally we found where 90 of the 1 million budget went governor dean ready thank you thank you thank you thank you what a great day in texas the governor gives a big speech about how crime rates are reduced budget deficit blah blah blah blah we've all seen the purge we know kill people good if you don't support our great society then you are living off the system that is a parasite and do you know what we do with parasites we wash them out oh someone's been playing bioshock recently i'm going for the casey neistat logan sneaks out to try and get some revenge and seeing a six foot two ripped man whimpering calling the guard sir i don't know it just comes off as really awkward logan beats the guard with his baton adding electric sound effect because i guess the batons have those now back at the party kellen the only person showing any kind of remorse logs into his dad's account to view the cameras something that probably should be picked up by the security literally watching him on the cameras but i guess that's never acknowledged logan manages to get into the security room conveniently just as mason leaves it like imagine if he didn't have to go to the toilet at that specific point anyways he pulls out a bunch of wires which leads the prop team to replace all the normal bulbs with red ones so now we have 200 of budget left and apparently this small box contained the electricity for everywhere in the entire complex including the shackles for the failed students laina is able to escape the thing her teacher gave her being an id fob to get out of the room again this wasn't planned as logan had no idea that that teacher was going to give lena that fab so if these two didn't come together by sheer coincidence then this non-existent plan never would have worked what are they doing out of the chairs some of the restraints shorted during the power outage but we got it under control have you done a head count sir the doors lie there's no way they could have i've also just noticed how much of a star wars scene this looks like you've got the dim red lighting the voice changer that sounds like an off-brand kylo ren and mason who in poor lighting kind of looks like kylo ren you lost a student i don't know how she got out she her name is elena michaelson and where is she elena caught a door she doesn't have access to tries some of the worst lying i have seen in a movie it's about time i called for you 10 minutes ago what i miss birch i teach 10th to 12th grade wait why are you wearing i just saw a student go down that stairwell i just love how she did everything wrong here like she could have used him to look the other way and try another corridor you know not jump on his back maybe but don't worry logan paul is here to overpower him how could he have stood a chance with such huge biceps okay i'm gonna the bicep bit's dead i'm gonna stop that now blake lauren you failed the test it's lena oh my god was that a reoccurring joke they finally did it guys the thinning writing staff have knocked it out the park yet again with their christopher nolan tear writing i don't think i've heard a less enthusiastic alarm sound in my entire life also you know you'd just be able to solve the runaway student thing in like 15 seconds if you gave any of these guards a gun right oh no logan paul's going to hit me bye but desert eagle oh no he's dead like you'll allow culling of students but no guns it just doesn't make any sense it's america if you can't tell already elena is basically the new love interest for logan for the rest of the film using their experiences in the campus to strengthen their relationship they even flirt a little bit offset i would say sweet peyton list peyton list is sweet there's even a compilation on youtube of them being just so cute and wholesome oh boy i hope nothing bad happens to her we need to finally keep the test what are you gonna do steal the answers for next year excuse me you know for your little side business where you sell the answers to desperate kids for money innocent kids are killed to meet a bottom line and you found a way to profit off them tell me elena what did you spend the money on first i don't even understand where this accusation came from logan was asking her at the start of the film for a way to cheat a nice dress maybe so we're at the gucci store right now we're not a lot of film in there no i'm gonna do it anyways because i'm a savage but this jacket that we like yeah all right let me just show you anyways hey yo good morning little gang was walking this jacket is 7 500 also she's not technically hurting anybody she's saving people that would be killed unless of course it's a percentage of bottom scoring students instead of a threshold then yeah okay she's inadvertently punishing people who didn't buy the lens from her also the money elena made was used to pay for her mother's treatment so uh logan feels a little bit bad i'm such a dick who i'm sorry it's okay thank you for admitting you're a dick i've made a severe and confused i just always liked you and i guess i was kind of jealous of ellie you like me past tense literally so pointless yeah my girlfriend was alive past tense logan's dad is being grilled on national tv about the campus being shot longer than it needs to be we're getting word that the school is still under lockdown now the test should have ended hours ago parents are growing concerned with no word as to whether or not their children are safe now governor what do you say to these concerned voters um well while i don't have any immediate details on the incident i can say that we do have the best team in the nation on site logan and elena still stuck in the vents until the vents do the thing that happens in pretty much every video game and movie they collapse i like how if you slow down the footage it's obvious logan just dived from a board and they added the debris as a green screen in post lana jumps in and inevitably saves him because without logan paul the audience would realize that this is a daytime program on the sci-fi channel what the hell is this we passed the test this is [ __ ] i want to go home no one has told us anything are we just supposed to sit here indefinitely nobody leaves this room until we get the all clear don't tell me what to do do you have any idea who my parents are i'm leaving stay back i like how they talk like they have any kind of moral authority do you know who my parents are and of course they get aggressively beaten because that's exactly what a non-violent confrontation deserves back in the vents lana drops her fab that worked for her like at one door so it's pretty much pointless anyway but what this does do is force a tense scene where lena might have got caught if the guard took more than two seconds to look into the vent they break into a lab to get a makeshift magnet to get the key fob back but not before logan paul gets jump scared i have no idea who's gonna win the average build man wearing pounds of clothing slowing him down or logan paul the man who beat ksi and only lost because of a point difference yeah of course logan wins and takes the guy's clothes that seem to fit him perfectly play he took care of that thank goodness this particular guard was six foot two and had the exact same shoe size only problem is now he'll get instantly spotted because he doesn't have any eye makeup meanwhile mason getting bored of not actually contributing to the story just goes complete joker mode you got beat up by a girl no sir uh well yes sir it was two of them two girls though it was a male student they got to jump on me the air the other said she was a teacher it's about sending a message they're now searching the teachers and the one that helped lana earlier on swipes another fab from the teacher who was doing sexual favors from students at this point just get a 3d printer and make copies of the key because you know lane is going to keep losing them anyway lena eventually makes it into the server room and has to guess mason king's password one thing i do like here is that they actually use a plot point from earlier kellen has access to his dad's account so he can view all the cameras so he can see what mason typed into the keyboard i mean it's better than the gag about guessing the password and getting it right first time obviously mason now knows that one of the teachers has gave their key card to one of the students so elena's teacher mrs birch dodged a bullet by yoinking the other teacher's fub i mean sure this guy's gonna get brutally beaten and probably killed but he did also send girls to their deaths after getting favors so justice lana gets the security footage of mason putting in his password and how you're able to make out anything of that is astounding she also finds out that she did indeed pass the exam with 98 but was marked as a fail anyway as her score was swapped with logan and in an even bigger cope to defend his son the governor single-handedly blames lana for the whole school being shut down this morning approximately 11 45 a.m elena michaels a student at vista point high failed an exam she then proceeded to attack several dpc officers injuring two and tragically killing two others since then students have been moved to a safe place and are being protected under a watchful eye of our teachers until ms michaels can be apprehended lena ends the lockdown so there's a signal available so kellan sends the footage of the student being beaten to the press because hitting a passing student is worse than killing people that didn't pass an exam that really says a lot about our society leonardo gets caught by a guard that's walking like a frog for some reason and bumps into mason take her to the thing this scene is so awkward it's like he was trying to think of a snarky one-liner but completely froze up come on man play one dead rising game before you take the job of the villain i still love how the system of killing people is normalized but one person gets failed dishonestly and the whole world cries what about people that have reading problems like dyslexia well then everyone loses their minds no one seems to have any headphones on for these questions the media get the false test scores from kellen who leaked them and of course like the real-life media run it without verifying like it's complete fact just moments ago we received official documentation from inside the high school revealing falsified test scores possibly to favor or target specific students to evade or endure the thinning among those wrongfully accused of failing the exam elena michaels received one of the highest scores in the school blake reading son of governor dean reading passed the exam despite having the lowest score at vista point high and this leaves the governor in a tight spot because if he can't prove the thinning isn't corrupt he'll lose his run for presidency there's one more move no please no well for five more minutes of run time it's going to be a pretty conclusive move so the governor calls mason and tells him no you can't kill the children not because i've had a change of heart but because i then can't become president but sir we built our entire society of killing children i know but someone at cnn went and told so now i look like a meanie so calling off the thinning gives everyone an automatic pass a pretty flawed system that you need this specific person to confirm or deny the thinning like could you imagine he was just you know in the bath or something oops i've dropped my phone and if i don't answer it's an automatic yes uh whatever sir we just have confirmation your son threw the test a second time god damn it give me another iphone 11 now but in a weird turn of events all they actually did was swap lana with logan so all the other students are still going to die on top of that they take random students who passed and kill them anyway this gives the jock character you forgot about another five seconds to overact bro that's my throwing arm bro do you know who i am the students get injected with needles that for some reason sound like they're drills in a dentist's office and logan's dad like a true chad completely lies about any involvement and just blames the man that he gave the order to shouldn't have mr king as of tomorrow morning i am appointing a special committee to fully investigate what happened at vista point and if mr king is guilty he will dearly pay for his unlawful actions he will pay not death that's for the children he also goes on to say how his son is no different and he's not a hypocrite and obvious lying aside this sentence shows how flawed the thinning is as much as i love him he's no different than any of your sons or daughters i'm not a hypocrite the rich will always benefit more from the thinning i get that's the point in the film you know society bird but people with more money and more time will always be able to benefit more logan if he cared could have used the best tutors instead of you know dusting off library books i just love how this guy is scummy enough to use his son as a talking point to show how good the system is it's genius all his dad did was reverse things to the way they were before you intervened only now innocent people died all because of you we cut to logan who surprise surprise is alive the injection was just a sedative guys i knew he was just being put to sleep it's like no country for old men and we find out that the failed students aren't actually killed but put to work underground to make ipads get it because they failed the exam so now they're like second-class citizens because they're they're literally underground also weird analogy to how underpaid people are making tech by the way also ellie logan's i guess now x is alive now but logan already has feelings for lena and vice versa so uh awkward the film ends like i genuinely watch the credits thinking there'd be like a post credit sequence but no nothing overall the thinning is honestly quite disappointing there's genuinely a good concept here and i feel like they didn't delve near enough deep into it i think they shot themselves in the foot by making the film take place only a day before the thinning so there's no real time for world building we could have seen how society has changed maybe things are so perfect and sterile that it makes people slowly go insane but we never look into this because we barely ever leave the campus it's just an hour and 20 minutes of logan paul doing jump rope filming his apology video and diving into a pool it's apparent that this was a passion project i mean everyone on set enjoyed making this film it wasn't just for money but i feel that you know it could have just been so much more i'll be honest i do enjoy michael gallagher's films they're a guilty pleasure and even though i come across as bitter they're great films to watch with friends even though this isn't a great film bordering on so bad it's good but not totally abysmal but to be fair i probably wouldn't have covered this if logan paul wasn't in it well that's it pretty much all i wanted to say on the film you're welcome uh there is a sequel though so depending on how this video does i might cover it okay you know what stretch goal 19 billion views and i cover the sequel that's fair right okay great nice go back to quarantine [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Pyrocynical

Views: 3,032,810

Rating: 4.9513488 out of 5

Keywords: logan paul vlog, logan paul, logan, paul, logan paul new movie, logan paul song, airplane mode, commentary, satire, parody, logan paul movie, the thinning, logan paul cringe

Id: 3HOuBTGabI4

Length: 39min 43sec (2383 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 17 2021

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POG

[u/tapatiochopper]

Did I ever tell you what the definition of insanity is? Insanity is doing the exact... same fucking thing... over and over again expecting... shit to change... That. Is. Crazy. The first time somebody told me that, I dunno, I thought they were bullshitting me, so, boom...I shot him! The thing is... He was right. And then I started seeing, everywhere I looked, everywhere I looked all these fucking pricks, everywhere I looked, doing the exact same fucking thing... over and over and over and over again thinking, 'This time is gonna be different, no, no, no please... This time is gonna be different'.

[u/Xx_MW2360noscope_xX]

When the Logan Paul is sus 😳

⠀⠀⠀⡯⡯⡾⠝⠘⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢊⠘⡮⣣⠪⠢⡑⡌ ⠀⠀⠀⠟⠝⠈⠀⠀⠀⠡⠀⠠⢈⠠⢐⢠⢂⢔⣐⢄⡂⢔⠀⡁⢉⠸⢨⢑⠕⡌ ⠀⠀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⢂⠡⠈⡔⣕⢮⣳⢯⣿⣻⣟⣯⣯⢷⣫⣆⡂⠀⠀⢐⠑⡌ ⢀⠠⠐⠈⠀⢀⢂⠢⡂⠕⡁⣝⢮⣳⢽⡽⣾⣻⣿⣯⡯⣟⣞⢾⢜⢆⠀⡀⠀⠪ ⣬⠂⠀⠀⢀⢂⢪⠨⢂⠥⣺⡪⣗⢗⣽⢽⡯⣿⣽⣷⢿⡽⡾⡽⣝⢎⠀⠀⠀⢡ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⢂⠢⢂⢥⢱⡹⣪⢞⡵⣻⡪⡯⡯⣟⡾⣿⣻⡽⣯⡻⣪⠧⠑⠀⠁⢐ ⣿⠀⠀⠀⠢⢑⠠⠑⠕⡝⡎⡗⡝⡎⣞⢽⡹⣕⢯⢻⠹⡹⢚⠝⡷⡽⡨⠀⠀⢔ ⣿⡯⠀⢈⠈⢄⠂⠂⠐⠀⠌⠠⢑⠱⡱⡱⡑⢔⠁⠀⡀⠐⠐⠐⡡⡹⣪⠀⠀⢘ ⣿⣽⠀⡀⡊⠀⠐⠨⠈⡁⠂⢈⠠⡱⡽⣷⡑⠁⠠⠑⠀⢉⢇⣤⢘⣪⢽⠀⢌⢎ ⣿⢾⠀⢌⠌⠀⡁⠢⠂⠐⡀⠀⢀⢳⢽⣽⡺⣨⢄⣑⢉⢃⢭⡲⣕⡭⣹⠠⢐⢗ ⣿⡗⠀⠢⠡⡱⡸⣔⢵⢱⢸⠈⠀⡪⣳⣳⢹⢜⡵⣱⢱⡱⣳⡹⣵⣻⢔⢅⢬⡷ ⣷⡇⡂⠡⡑⢕⢕⠕⡑⠡⢂⢊⢐⢕⡝⡮⡧⡳⣝⢴⡐⣁⠃⡫⡒⣕⢏⡮⣷⡟ ⣷⣻⣅⠑⢌⠢⠁⢐⠠⠑⡐⠐⠌⡪⠮⡫⠪⡪⡪⣺⢸⠰⠡⠠⠐⢱⠨⡪⡪⡰ ⣯⢷⣟⣇⡂⡂⡌⡀⠀⠁⡂⠅⠂⠀⡑⡄⢇⠇⢝⡨⡠⡁⢐⠠⢀⢪⡐⡜⡪⡊ ⣿⢽⡾⢹⡄⠕⡅⢇⠂⠑⣴⡬⣬⣬⣆⢮⣦⣷⣵⣷⡗⢃⢮⠱⡸⢰⢱⢸⢨⢌ ⣯⢯⣟⠸⣳⡅⠜⠔⡌⡐⠈⠻⠟⣿⢿⣿⣿⠿⡻⣃⠢⣱⡳⡱⡩⢢⠣⡃⠢⠁ ⡯⣟⣞⡇⡿⣽⡪⡘⡰⠨⢐⢀⠢⢢⢄⢤⣰⠼⡾⢕⢕⡵⣝⠎⢌⢪⠪⡘⡌⠀ ⡯⣳⠯⠚⢊⠡⡂⢂⠨⠊⠔⡑⠬⡸⣘⢬⢪⣪⡺⡼⣕⢯⢞⢕⢝⠎⢻⢼⣀⠀ ⠁⡂⠔⡁⡢⠣⢀⠢⠀⠅⠱⡐⡱⡘⡔⡕⡕⣲⡹⣎⡮⡏⡑⢜⢼⡱⢩⣗⣯⣟ ⢀⢂⢑⠀⡂⡃⠅⠊⢄⢑⠠⠑⢕⢕⢝⢮⢺⢕⢟⢮⢊⢢⢱⢄⠃⣇⣞⢞⣞⢾ ⢀⠢⡑⡀⢂⢊⠠⠁⡂⡐⠀⠅⡈⠪⠪⠪⠣⠫⠑⡁⢔⠕⣜⣜⢦⡰⡎⡯⡾⡽

[u/LewRiot]

he woke up from his coma and remembered he had a youtube channel, epic

[u/pentagrahm-cracker]

PYRO WHY DID U DELETE MY COMMENT CALLING U HOT IT WAS FIRST COMMENT TOO WE LIVE IN A SUSIETY

[u/NOusernameforMeTree]

u/pyrocynical will you be my fortnite gamer girl

[u/akman16]

Someone played Mass Effect recently.

[u/Simp_4_pyro]

The fat furry is uploading too frequently he needs to be euthanized

[u/Electr0Noob]

Please 😭🙏🏻😩 God 😇, I 👥 want 😋 to impregnate 🥜 Belle 💓 Delphine 💃🐠😷 so bad 👎. I 👁 want 😋👳🏼🏄🏾 her 👩 to bear 😍 my children 👦👧 with those beautiful 😍 child-bearing hips 🕺. That beautiful 🌄, radiant ☢ angel 👼. Like 👍 a goddess 💐🖼, having come 💦 down ⬇😈 to Earth 🌍🤴 to cleanse 🍎🍌🥤 us 👨 of our sins 😈👁.

Belle 💓 Delphine 💃🐠😷 is beyond 👉 divine 😰. I 👁 can't ❌ help 🆘 but 🍑 drop ⬇ to my knees 👇 in worship 🙏👼😇 whenever 🏪 I 👁 see 👁 her 👩 beautiful 😍 figure 🚫💪👴 even 🌃 though 💥 it's behind ↩😍 that unnecessary 😶 gym 🏋 clothes 👙👚👕. I 👁 yearn 😡 for her 👩 in a way 💫 both Primal 🦍 and spiritual 👼🏼. I 👁 would commit 👩‍🔬 more war 🔫 crimes 🔫🙆 than every ☝ president 🇺🇸 in United 🆗🇺🇸 States 🇺🇸 history 📂📜📚 just to lick 👅💦 the sweet 🍯, glistening 😎👦 sweat 💦 from her 👩 smooth 😭, creamy 💦 skin 👨. I 👁 want 😋 to listen 🎧 to her 👩 moans 😩 as my manhood 🍆 throbs 💢 within 👌5⃣ her 👩, I 👁 want 😋 to hear 👂🏻 her 👩 heart ❤💵 race 👦🏃 as our bodies 😍👗 become 😌 one 😤 and our souls 👻👌🏻📧 irreversibly 📷 intertwine ⚛ in the holy 🙏 sin 😈 of carnal union 🇺🇸.

I 👁 want 😍 to suckle 🙃 at her 👩 motherly 🤰🏻👩🏻 bosom 🍑, slurping 💦 that rich 💰 juche milk 🥛 from her 👩 teat 😜😩💦 as she 👩 gently 👅 strokes 😰😆 my raging 😡🤬😤 erection 😏💦🍆. I 👁 would stir ✈🏢 her 👩 velvety 😍 cream 💦 into my coffee ☕ and let 🙆 my balls 🏀 boil 🔥 in it. Her 👩 cries 😂🅱 of pleasure 🙏 and the rocking 🎉 of our bed 🛌 would be louder 🔊🎶📬 than the cacophony of ten 🔟 thousand 👌🌼💯 drone 🛩🛫 strikes 💥. I 👁 would make 🖕 love ❤ to her 👩 until my body 💃 gave 🎁 out, and then some. I 👁 would let 👫 her 👩 break 🍷💥🔨 my rib 🍖 cage 🗝🖕🏾 with any part 〽 of her 👩 body 💃. I 👁 would let 👫 her 👩🏼 hit 👊 me with her 👩🏻 car 🚌 just to be near 🏊 her 👩🧊 for a brief 🩲 moment ⚠.

She's 👩🏾 so perfect 👌 it hurts 🤕. Every ☝ moment ⚠ without 🚫 her 👩 I 👁 suffer 😭😡 a pain 🤕 worse 😫 than breaking 🇲🇩 every ☝🏼👆🏼👇🏼 bone 💀 in my body 😍👗 simultaneously ♦ while drowning 😱🌊 and also 👨 having shards 😭 of glass 👓 coated 🍬 in hot 😅 sauce 💦 forced 👮‍♂️ through every ☝ orifice 🍑🌮👄 of my body 💃. I 👁 want 😍 her 👩, I ♂👁 need 👉 her 👸. I 👥 want 👈😋 to desecrate ❌✝ her 👩 crisp 🔥🍳 general 💂 suit ♠. I 👥 want 😋 to start 💢 a family 👪 with her 🏼👸 and retire 🛫 after 👀 our twenty 😼👌💥 seven 💯 children 🤓👶👍 have grown 💪 up ☝ and moved 📦 out. I 👥 want 😍 to see 👀 those luscious 🌱 lips 👄 speak 🙊 such filthy 👅, perverse 🤤 words 🔚 into my ear 👂 while she 👩 slides 😏 ice 🥶❄ cubes 🧊➕ down 🔻 my gaping 🕳 pisshole.

I 👁 want 😋 to fuck 🖕💦 her 👩 like 💖 she 👩 owes 👅👄💦 me money 💰💸. I 👁🙌🏻 would let 👫 her 👩🏻👱🏿‍♀️ step 👞 on 🔛 me, just to feel 😜 the soft 🍦, firm 🚬 warmth 🔥 of her 👩 feet 👣 upon 😽🙀 my face 😀 and groin 🍆 area ⚠💀. I 👥 would sleep 💤 under 😡 her 👩 just to catch 🎣 her 👩 drool 🤤 in my mouth 💋. I 👁 would fish 🐟 the strands 😭😞😫 of hair 💈 from her 👸😡 shower 🚿 drain 😩 just to smell 👃 her 👩 alluring 📸 scent 🌸, and braid 🎀 them into necklaces ⛓ to keep 😣 her 👩 with me always 🕔. Or cock 🍆 rings 💍. Whichever 🔄 would please 🙏 her 👩 more.

God 😇🛐 please 🙏, I ❤👥 would do anything 💰 for her 👩. I 👁 would relinquish my life 💓, all 💯 my hopes 🙏🏿 and dreams 💭, just to become 😌 the socks 🧦 on 🔛 her 👩 feet 👣👟 so that I 👁 may 👌 warm 🌏🔥 her 👩 mouthwatering 💦👅 toes 👣😥 with my very 👌 being, so that she 👩🏿 may 🗓 feel 😜 the heat 😅 of my love ❤💕 always 🔥. I 👁 would encase myself in cement 🕳 and become 😌 her 👩 doorstep 🚪🏡, so that she 👧 may 🗓👀 wipe 🧻 her 👩⛏ heels 👞 upon 😽🙀 my face 😀😃😉. I 👁 would tear 😭 my own limbs 🧤🧦 off 📴. I 👥👨 don't ❌ know 😱🤔 what l'd ® do after 👀 that, or why ❓🤔 she 👩 might 🔍 want 😋 my limbs 👌. But 🍑 I 👁 would do it.

My queen 👑, my goddess 💐🖼, the light 🕯💡 of my life 👤. Please 🙏 God 🙏👼, let 👫 me have her 👸. I 👁 want 😍 her 👩 to be mine ⛏🗻 and only mine ⛏. I 👁 would lick 👅 the Doritos ™ dust 🏜 from her 👩🏻👱🏿‍♀️ fingers 👆👇👈 and fill 💉 her 👩 belly 🤰 button 🔘😱 with honey 🍯 mustard 🌭 to dip 💦🍆 my tendies 🐓 in. I 👁 would give 🎁 her 👩🏾 a sponge-bath with my tongue 😋 every 💯 morning 🌄 and serve 💁 her 👩 breakfast 🍳 in bed 🛌. I 👁👄 would let 🙆 her 👩 eat 😋😩👅 her 👩 eggs 🥚 and pancakes 🥞 off 📴 my body 💃🏼 if it pleased 👳🏻👀 her 👩, no 😣 matter 🙅 how painful 🔪 the third-degree burns 🔥 would be.

I 👁 would bear 🐻 the torment ➡👤♾ of eternal 💫 damnation 😤 until the end 🔚 of time 🕐 to taste 👅 the seat 💺 of her 👩 car 🚌 but 🍑 once. There is nothing 🚫 I 👁 wouldn't 😩 do for her 👸🏼, nothing 🚫 wouldn't 😩 say 💬👱🏿💦. I 👁 would beat 👊 my own friend 👫 to death 💀 with my engorged 🍆 penis 🍆 if it would bring 🚶 a smile 😊 to Belle 💃🏻 Delphine’s shining ✨ face 😀. I 👁 wouldn't 😩 even 🌃 let 🙆 myself Cum 💦 until she 👩 gave 🎁 me permission ⁉.

I 👁🤴 love ❤ you 👈, Belle 💃🏻 Delphine 💃🐠😷. Please 🙏🏽😩. Be mine ⛏. Be my wife 👩, my Lover ❤, my mommy 👩, my everything 💯. Say 🗣☠ yes 👍. Answer ✅ my calls 📱📲☎, respond 🙇 to my letters 🙆. Something 🤔. Give 👉 me a sign 🚮, Belle 💃🏻. I'm 👌 waiting 🚏 for you 👈.

I’ll always 🕔 be waiting 🚏⏰🗾 for you 👈.