Hunt Down The Refund

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I feel a homoerotic passion for your succulent man ass

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 56 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/drychickensandwich πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

NIGGA UPLOADED

NOW I CAN TAKE CARE OF MY PYROSANICAL WITHDRAWAL

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 44 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/LukaCrush3r96 πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

Missed you a lot. Glad to have you here, welcome back

despacito

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 28 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/Monadomo πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

praise his new twitter account as well, PyrocynicalTV

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 17 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/Freakin_Magic πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

I just finished watching Coco for the first time.

Now I see this.

Tonight is hellbent on making me cry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 6 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/SnapDragon432 πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

o shit a new video

how does he come back to life so much

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 3 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/ev710 πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

Hang on let me get my lube and tissue

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 3 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/dillag__31 πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

I threatened him for a video today and he actually did it!!!!!! Absolute mad man!!!!!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 2 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/Zebuttlord πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies

Daddy uploaded! Thanks, daddy!

πŸ‘οΈŽ︎ 2 πŸ‘€οΈŽ︎ u/runtothehells πŸ“…οΈŽ︎ Mar 25 2018 πŸ—«︎ replies
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yeah this game sucks The Half-Life series, even over ten years after its latest release is regarded as a colossal achievement in video game design and technology. With the gameplay and environments having this amazing relationship you just couldn't find anywhere else at the time. Whether that was the combat, the puzzles, or the storytelling, everything just clicked. Now when I was approached by a guy, telling me that he was making a Half-Life mod and that I could voice act in it, I thought: [EVERYTHING.] Soooooo, let's see how Hunt Down The Freeman works. Soooooo, let's see how Hunt Down The Freeman works. (it doesn't work) [Spoiler alert : It ain't going to work] Soooooo, let's see how Hunt Down The Freeman works. Why don't... why don't they have textures on their eyes? Pyro as Guard: "Hello, captain! Captain!" Pyro: Why are they all voiced by me?! I don't, I don't like... hey shut the game off! *Pyro in the background* Shut the game off! P-Pull the plug out the socket! I DON'T WANNA PLAY THIS ANYMORE! One thing I have to say before jumping into this : The voice acting is a total train wreck... The devs thought it'd be a great idea to ask a bunch of youtubers to voice for the game. and somehow... [Yes you were.] ...I wasn't the worst. *radio static* President Keemstar: "My fellow Americans-" Joel: Oh no... President Keemstar: "We have made a strategic decision." Joel: *laughing* If they were added just as minimal NPCs to stick on the back of the box, that'd be fine. but most of these guys are pivotal characters in the story, and the problem is, when you watch someone as a youtuber and then hear them in another media you'll always hear them only as a youtuber. So when you hear "I Hate Everything", he doesn't become a grizzled Army grunt, ...who for some reason goes bald halfway through the story. he's still just "I Hate Everything", a British man with a British accent who voices an Asian American soldier. he's still just "I Hate Everything", a British man with a British accent who voices an Asian American soldier? I guess you could blame this on the poor direction the game devs gave us... Plus the fact the audio mastering is either god-awful or just completely non-existent. IHE: "Mitchell, do you copy?" We'll have to find another way to Brandon Street, and we'll have to find one quickly if we want to get out of the city." Pyro: *mouth static noise* 'ya, readin you loud and clear, command over- *more static noises* IHE: "Mitchell, do you copy?" Pyro: *static noises* 'ya, reading you loud and clear, command over- *more static* Also good luck understanding anything, fucko. The subtitles don't even work. Pyro: *wheezes* Mitchell: "This is sergeant Mitchell, do you copy?" *most god awful audio on earth* What is he saying- What the fuck is he saying?! Just look at this clip. Sure, my delivery's total dog shit, but my character is wearing a full-face mask but just sounds like he's talking through a megaphone. Army Dude: "Maybe you should open your mouth and start talking!" Pyro as Soldier: "The aliens are coming! We've been compromised!" Army Dude: "Spit it out corporal!" >good audio direction Pyro as Soldier: "Oh Colonel... We are so fucked." That would be the same as me, putting on an entire gas mask, and then sounding like this. It doesn't make much sense, does it? Anyone that I didn't recognize as a youtuber or was an actual professional voice actor seem to do a somewhat decent job. The guy who voiced the protagonist did a passable job with what he was given, although near the end he whips out this discount Duke Nukem voice Big Mitch: "You fucked up my face." *BEWM!* Guy who fucked up his face: "I- I can explain." Big Mitch: "You have my permission to die." Coming soon. Hunt Down the Freeman: Forever. Whoever played the G-man stole the show, emulating the actual G-man stutters and pauses. ...although someone really needs to tell him how to pronounce Black Mesa properly. [...] Black Messa [...] alive from Black Messa 'Mesa called Jar Jar Binks!!!' The use of Source filmmaker was great, the cutscenes are actually a major highlight of the game, mostly because when you're watching them, you don't have to play the game. Now I want you to think of the blandest, most redundant thing you've ever done in your entire life. Now expand that to 14 hours, ...and now put your dick in a pencil sharpener. And that's Hunt Down the Freeman. (very accurate comparison tbh) It's actually amazing how there's so much stuff packed into this game, but none of it works. Think of movement in first-person games. You've got your basic stuff like crouching, sprinting and maybe some more advanced stuff like climbing and mantling, They couldn't even do *THAT* right. Whenever you crouch, instead of actually crouching, ...like every fucking game ever made 'I'm not wearing hockey pads' your guy does this weird-ass crouch slide that's actually useful like once in the entire game. You can also go prone now, because you know, other first-person games let you go prone I think that's the only reason. A totally pointless addition, only really used to squeeze through spaces where this retarded animation can't. Now come on. We've all played Half-Life. Why can every vent here be entered with just a crouch, but here you've got to go prone? In Half-life the vents were downtime, moments where you could ponder on previous dialogue or combat, but here... *Slowly crawling through a dark vent* It's just too goddamn slow. To top it all off they have this climbing mechanic, which sounds neat on paper, but executed so poorly... Joel : *laughing* Firstly, you need to find something to actually climb on, which you'll never be explicitly shown so enjoy wall humping half the game to progress. When you do eventually find the spot you'll have to holster your weapon, only you can't holster your weapon because you need to enable the key to do that in your controls. and once you've done all that you can finally climb up and keep playing this shit game. Unless you're climbing a pipe, because the climbing animation on them it takes a long-ass time, alright? I'm talking weeks, months-- I don't know, fucking years, man!! GOD DAMN, I'm just stuck on one now! The worst thing is, none of these new mechanics are taught to you. There's no in-game tutorial or hint system, you've got to figure it *ALL* out for yourself. So when you see some poor schmuck doing a let's play this game, They'll just be grinding on a pole like an Amsterdam stripper, because he has no idea how these broken ass mechanics work. >actual gameplay The environments initially are these bland rectangle corridors without hosting any form of exploration for extra items and gear. You know? that staple Half-Life had. Later on they do open up to these massive vistas that are great to look at, if you're running Windows XP. These maps feel like I've booted up Half-Life 2, put in noclip and flew to a part of the map you meant to see, but not actually go to. In the first instance you're given a jeep, which should think it'd be smooth sailing up, until something happens that pushes you off the beaten path. [Pyro playing] Move out the way, oh my-- Ah, nice, Now I'm just gonna go off the cliff. Ah, fucking nice mate. And I didn't even die. In Hunt Down the Freeman, losing progress usually boils down into two options for you : - Load a quick save (if you have any). ...that will probably crash your entire game anyways. What? What? What the fuck?! - Alternatively, you could spend 15 minutes circling a gigantic wasteland of a map just to get back to where you're going. And after all that time you spend getting your progress back something totally out of your control will break, forcing you to reload anyway. So some areas of Hunt Down the Freeman boiled down into this nasty vicious cycle. some reckon that these massive open areas were added just to get the game time past the point where you could refund it And although I don't agree with that, I can see why people think it because there's just nothing to do here. a word of advice to anyone that is actually mentally insane enough to buy this game : With a game that's broken and flawed and without hosting an actual manual save feature, You'd think that quick saving every five seconds will be the safest way to progress. But if you quick save while in any kind of vehicle then loads said save, It will *totally* corrupt your game. The same goes for level transitions forcing you to crash to desktop. Basically, stay the fuck away from vehicles. Just get off your fat ass and take a nice stroll and enjoy the views. the views of, uh... --what is this, fucking Silent Hill 2? The gunplay is serviceable I guess, once you ignore the fact they forgot to overwrite the original game assets And then the other half they forgot to add any audio whatsoever *dead silence* You have this lean feature in cover, which is totally pointless because you're usually being swarmed by enemies. You can also iron sights now But again it's totally pointless because the mouse sensitivity slows to a crawl Meaning anything with the scope is just a chore to use, plus if you think about it- What's the point of using tactics and strategy when you can just hipfire and strafe every enemy to death? To be fair, this is how you dealt with most combat throughout Half-Life But what made Half-Life combat great was the enemy placement and the environments that facilitated it Making each fight feel unique whether that's the way enemies are introduced or items and props the player can use to aid them in combat. But this game's just like, HDTF: "EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..." "No, That shit's too complex" "Here, just have fucking 800 enemies to fight at once." You'll either be killed by running out of ammo or an enemy Spawning on top of you because there's just so god damn many Wha- what is this Mickey Mouse bullshit I see before my very eyes? Please just kill me. It's either this or I lose an hour of progress. Thank you. *clapping* Thank you. Thank you so much, headcrabs. Thank you There was one point where I was gonna die because I had no weapons and I only survived because some dumb shit threw a grenade and killed himself letting me get his weapon. if I have to rely on faults in the game just to progress, That's *bad game design.* There's also a bunch of assets reused from other games And they really don't fit the aesthetic of Half-Life. Comparing these two you know off the bat They're from different franchises So it really takes you out the experience when you see this mishmash of assets from different games some placed in without proper context or reason, like the time I found a Dr. Breen water machine even though the point I was playing in the game, the Combine had only just started invading Earth. That doesn't make sense. A perfect example of this is some of the opening enemies that you fight. You can't fight the human combine foot soldiers here because they don't diegetically exist in the game world yet. So you fight these big boys instead. They look like they just came from an expired tin of Green Giant. So one of the team saw the concept art for cut enemies from the actual franchise and just thought- HDTF Art Director: "oH I dOn'T kNoW. LEt'S hAvE fUcKiNg aLL oF ThEm- JEFFERY, STICK ALL OF THEM IN!" So you've got three cut enemies mashed into one not to mention how they still move and act like a normal sized NPCs But it's okay guys, because the grenades are blue now. Hunt Down the Freeman display into five segments. I've designed a graph with my experience for each one. The story takes place before, during, and after the seven-hour war that set up Half-Life 2. You begin the game as a H.E.C.U. soldier which was one of these big guys from Half-Life. Dunkey: "Come get me dick head!" You are sergeant Mitchell Shepherd, a very *subtle* nod to you being the sibling of Adrian Shepherd from Opposing Forces. Big Mitch: "Adrian?" *literally fucking dies* The prologue takes place inside Black Mesa somehow looking worse than the Black Mesa made Two years ago, but hey, maybe I'm just a bit biased on that I entered this massive chamber and spent ages exploring for a way to progress And then it finally hit me: The game says it takes 14 hours to complete. If you knew where to go it'd take three. You'll be put into these arenas with enemies just coming from all sides, but 30 minutes later you think "Hmm, you'd think they would have stopped coming by now... And why are all my allies coming out of the same tent like it's the goddamn clown car from Saints Row 2?! And then it hits you like a brick covered in lemon juice (big OOF) You were never meant to engage in this fight, You were meant to totally ignore it and run to a discreet corner of the map to progress. Oh fucking nice. This happens for pretty much the first half of the entire game. You'll see a fight going on and you'll be given some kind of weapon tricking you into thinking you can actually contribute. Then you realize the enemies just never stop respawning, so you'll lose all interest and move on to the next area. Where you do the exact same shit again. And these are the 'good parts', right. The bad parts are when the combats died down and you have no idea how to progress. So you spam interact on every door and surface like you're playing Wolfenstein 3d But here, there's no secret reward, you just get to keep playing the game. Which is technically not a secret Bu- but an un-secret, A-a fucking punishment. *kA bOom* It does amaze me that a game so narrow and linear can be so confusing. Just to make progress in. It's like the Rubik's Cube of shit fuck. Take this for example, do you climb up on this wall to make progress? Nope, because there's an invisible barrier here. The entire barrier was destroyed at one point And I still couldn't make progress. You're actually meant to go over to this poorly lit area jump on this dumpster jump on this skip And then do a crouch jump up and over this truck. If you manage to pull that off on your own Congratulations, you've earned the title of 'BIG GUY.' Your reward is facing off against a Strider That can kill you in one hit. HL1 G-Man: "I can offer you a battle you have no chance of winning." In most games, the devs would make the way to progress obvious, they can do this with subtle cues like lighting or vantage points. Here, in an attempt to stop the player from becoming lost they make the water fucking kill you. Even though five minutes prior the water was completely safe to swim in. I mean fuck me man, would it be too much to ask for a ladder? I don't even care if I have to press pause break to start climbing. J-just give me a fucking ladder. *phone buzzing* What? (lesbian laugh) Wat iz diz? Pyro: *brief sounds of death* *RIP* Progress I made was usually accidental, and I'm genuinely amazed that I finished the game without any sort of guide or walkthrough. But I tell you what though there is actually one good thing about this game: You'll feel like a fucking G L O W I N G B R A I N G E N I U S after finding out how to make any kind of progress. Every time I hit another loading zone my third eye opened just a little bit more. Fuck Koashima's brain training, just play Hunt Down the Freeman for 15 minutes. Also this game adores invisible barriers. They'll always be placed in the most obtuse areas making you feel even more boxed in than you already are there was even one point I'd to open up console commands and use noclip just to climb up this ledge because some brainlet forgot to remove an invisible barrier here Obviously goes without saying, but if you need to cheat to finish a game, your game shouldn't even be available for purchase even if you're promising a future patch or re-release. here are actual puzzles in the game, too That's a thing There's this one where you navigate across a bunch of claymores, but you'll never explicitly shown the distance to set one of these things off (pig laugh) So what you have is this horrible trial-and-error of finding the one preset path the devs put in Another 'puzzle' if you call it that, is inside this mansion. I can clearly see the I can clearly see that this part of the floor is destructible and in the next room is the game's only case of infinite grenades. Now how would you, an intelligent gamer, think of a way to progress? *Deus Ex music* "This better not be a joke" "I spill my drink!" "I don't understand" (yeah me neither, JC) What you're actually meant to do is go upstairs jump over the railing and stand on the bullet-and-grenade-proof chandelier. Excellent choice guys! 99% of your progress will be experimenting on what you can and can't do within the game world. And you're gonna die a lot (the Dark Souls of shit Half-Life mods) So make sure you got that F5 key handy. Mitchell: "This is the wrong way." Mitchell: "This is it." *Dies like it's too much* In the intro you were attacked by a guy in an HEV suit, which is assumed to be Gordon. But spoilers: IT AIN'T HIM! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED IT?! WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED THAT IT ISN'T GORDAN FREEMAN, IN THIS SHIT GAM- Gordon never actually makes an appearance in the game. He could have been in the cutscene I missed... if the fucking game work properly! *Edgy joke* But there are nods to him if you're vigilant enough I think it's really telling that Gordon beat you up in the game trailer, but he's replaced with the HEV suit in the final release. You make a deal with the G-Man to get revenge on ~~"Gordon"~~ and then I know it's something else about this game- G-Man: "This is where I get off." The cutscenes... Just don't work. Now hear me out like I said before The cutscenes are great because they're the only times you're not playing the game But they start and end so abruptly so you'll just be playing the game and then- *stock action music or something idk* Generic Soldier #192: GET DOWN!! The devs also forgot to remove the triggers for these cutscenes so sometimes you'll be stuck in an endless loop watching the same cutscene over and over. Plus they go against everything Half-Life was about: seamless player interaction and storytelling. There's a reason Half-Life games didn't have cutscenes unless it was integral to the development of the plot. Also on the subject of storytelling, remember in Half-Life 2 when you could interact with most NPCs to get a little bit of dialogue and world-building? Wellllll not here fucko. *Suicide bomber* Unless of course you count this as dialogue: Ooo, don't touch me there. Don't touch me! Sorry Sarge, I'm taken. *best comedy 1567* But Pyro, don't you think it's unfair that you keep comparing a small team of Devs to the monolith that is Volvo?? Not really, when the team at Valve were fairly small themselves. Also these guys have the audacity to charge twenty-five dollars for this piece of shit. Keep in mind the Half-Life 1 remake Black Mesa is 5 dollars cheaper and at least 500 times better (Fantastic game tbh). On top of that here's a quick list of Half-Life 2 mods that are infinitely better and totally free. ["Papers, Please" theme playing in background] I think that's the main problem with this game: the price. If it was cheaper or even free people would be like "oh this game fuckin sucks, but hey at least i got it for free!" Also, I don't know how they've done it But they totally screwed the AI for pretty much everything in this game. Friendly NPCs can be stuck in place repeating the exact same dialogue [Soldier with Alzheimer's] MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE MOVE Or they'll just be walking into each other usually making any kind of progress slow to a crawl. Meanwhile, The enemies don't even acknowledge you even if you're firing hot lead into them. The AI seems to suddenly activate only when you're nearby and this is easily the worst immersion breaker in any video game You want to feel like you're a part of the world not the world itself and Hunt Down the Freeman Totally fails in that regard also this game is just too goddamn dark You get these night-vision goggles to help alleviate this, but they disappear about a third into the game And they're never seen again. My guess is that about 5% of the total bugs have been found by players. The rest we can't even fucking see. Look at this cave impossible to see but you're given a single flare to help navigate now in every Now in every other game ever, you'd pop the flare and hold it to illuminate the area around you. How do you think they handle it in this game? To be fair, in other half-life games You used flares the exact same way But in those games you actually had a flashlight. The game has this horrible issue with pacing. Levels will take either five minutes or five hours Depending on if you know what to do. Like there's a mission where you're on a train with the skybox that actually challenges Minecraft *Minecraft music in background* Only this never ends, seriously I was here for over 40 minutes And the level never ended. What you actually had to do was grab the minigun Travel back to where you spawned and then shoot out the window and climb onto the ledge That's seriously the only way I could progress. This is easily the most inconsistent game I've ever played. It'll copy rules from Half-Life and then smash them down a moment later. Hey, you see these wooden planks you can destroy? Well not here fucko. Good luck finding out why this specific wooden plank is impervious to all damage. Some Guy: "W-woah! Have you lost your fucking mind?! L-lower that thing! You're gonna blow us all up!" Mitchell: "Calm down!" Some Guy: "Don't fucking tell me to calm down. There's a gas leak that can blow half of us all the way to hell, with a fucking match." Mitchell: "Waaaaaait a minute, I thought you said no weapons." *plz let me out of this shit game* Yeah som-some 'gas leak' am I right guys? I love how you can pick up suit energy even though you don't have anything that needs it You can even use suit recharger stations. But then later on the game remembers you're not Gordon And you can't use them anymore. Hunt Down the Freeman also throws a bunch of characters in that get minimal screen time. So being invested in any of these people is next to impossible. Colossal is Crazy: "You and your men from now on are under my command. Welcome to Avalon Vale, and welcome to the crew." "You made a deal with the devil. Yeah... You have it." *dies* Pyro: What? He's dead? *laughs* β™« That was fucking delicious, eggs on toast. β™« If you didn't catch on already the story's a complete mess as well. After making your deal with the G-Man, Hunting down "Gordon" is just totally thrown aside. While you form a personal army while the combined take over the world. It's really apparent they played mgs 5 and just wanted to incorporate it into the story. I mean think about it: you start the game proper inside a hospital after a life-threatening attack, you then escape the hospital and travel into the desert, you begin forming your very own personal army, you're then betrayed by someone close to you, your ragtag group of troops becomes an overly militaristic micro-nation, mostly comprised out of children and soldiers who devoted their lives to you, all in the middle of the ocean. At this point, I'm just gonna rename Mitchell to Big Mitch. I still find it funny how they lift most of the story from Metal Gear Solid 5, even though everyone knows that was the weakest title in the series for its story Big Mitch: "Turn the ship, We're going to Borealis." AURORA BORE- Special thanks to Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima: "Yeah, thanks for shortening my life by ten fucking years guys." Later in the game the cutscenes have this massive nosedive with dialogue going from just- Mitchell: "I guess you don't understand the situation my friend, We're all dead men walking." Meh.. All the way down to- "Sweet Jesus. What was that? I feel like I'm in a Macbeth play for nine-year-olds." Some Bitch: "I always saw you as a hero after that day." Big Mitch: "Hero? You're talking to a villain my dear. The hero inside of me died many many years ago when I was young." This is 'The Room' of video game dialogue. Mark: "How was work today?" Tommy Wiseau (AKA God Himself): "Oh pretty good, We got a new client at the bank. We'll make a lot of money." Mark: "What client?" Tommy: "I cannot tell you, it's confidential." Mark: "Oh come on. Why not?" Tommy: "No I can't. Anyway- Game Dialog: "It's always been between predator and prey, That's the balance. But this time the tables are turned." W H A T ? y o u f u c k e d u p m y f a c e *rip Tommy/Big Mitch 2018-2018* Then in the last hour the game's like "oh fuck yeah, We forgot about Freeman!" and they just throw his name back into the story. G-Man: "The Combine will be looking for you, and that will create Mr. Freeman an easier path." B L A C K M E S S A It amazes me how much stuff they lifted straight from the actual Half-Life series. There's this chase scene where a rebel blocks the door for you. You escape onto the rooftops. Go back indoors and are eventually cornered and beaten until the screen goes white. I half expected Alyx to pop up in front of me and save me from this shit game. Or there's part where you're being taken captive to the Citadel And then there's the stuff they changed for no goddamn reason Like the Vortigaunts now instant cast their attacks making them pretty much impossible to dodge And they totally remodeled the 9mm pistol I mean I can appreciate the effort, but don't you think there are more pressing matters than remaking an already existing gun? *Fat man voice* What the fuck is that allowed? Is that allowed? Easily the worst thing about the entire game... is Act 2 (oh God no plz) Just the entire thing. Take every negative point I've made during this video and times it by about I dunno, five trillion. Firstly you start off in this valley with no direction whatsoever. So you'll spend fifteen minutes getting somewhere thinking you've made progress. Only to find out that was the total wrong direction And you need to go somewhere else instead and remember earlier when I was complaining about the overuse of invisible walls? Now they'll just replace them with kill barriers. Also, there's Antlions here because fuck you and they're blue now Why? cuz fuck you. Yeah, don't forget the fact that they're based off real life ants that prefer hot climates. Just colour'm fucking blue. I actually had to get that off the wiki. I also found out that antlions are a real insect But they don't look like ants or lions so overall I'm quite disappointed but forget the terrible pathfinding and enemies Because that ain't even the bad part. The bad part is when they throw like eight sniper nests at you giving you no weapons to fight back. Only explosives can kill these guys, but there isn't any for a good few hours So enjoy your game of deadly twister you dumbass. Even better there's next to no health pickups through this entire area, so you'll be relying on quick saving And if you quick save in a bad spot guess you got to play the whole of act two again my guy, and then someone On the team thought to themselves HDTF Developer: *gibberish* "That's not punishing enough. I can actually still get out of bed in the morning." So they add these fucking rail guns that have unlimited range, so you'll be in another continent And they'll still be able to scope you while yelling "mom get the camera!" Where did you shoot me from?! Oh, there of course my bad. Plus they can shoot through the map So there's never really a point where you're totally safe. HDTF Developer: "Hmmm. That's still not punishing enough, I didn't strangle my wife to death this morning." So there are these spotlights that have unlimited range and if they spot you even for a second a fucking orbital strike comes down for the heavens and obliterates your entire forehead (subscribe to jacksfilms) Remember in like every game ever, when a security camera spots you you're given a few seconds to hide and try again? NAH That's some baby shit. Just quick save and load for four hours straight! I am just amazed that someone thought this was a good idea, this was good level design, your fucking brain is on airplane mode. So overall you've got this mishmash of broken content, content lifted from other games, and stuff that Doesn't even fit in the Half-Life world. Plus the devs really aren't helping themselves here the game on Steam says It's 60 gig even though when I downloaded it They've compressed it down to 25 and even more pressing they Continue to keep the game up on the store page when they're probably aware that no one can complete it without cheating Hell, I've played Half-Life 2 Lost Coast, a 15 minute tech demo and had a more wholesome experience Here than this entire game. "Hi, this is Gabe Newell and welcome to the Lost Coast. The main thing that we're working on right now After we get the Orange Box out the door is gonna be episode 3." The developers actually offered me a code for this game But I declined, then bought it myself. Person in background: WOAH THAT'S INCREDIBLE! I also turned down any payment I would have received for doing my voice lines. Person in background: YOU'RE A FUCKING SAINT PYROCYNICAL HOLY SHIT Pyro: Holy shit- SHAMMY?! SHAMMY, SHUT THE FUCK UP-!! I mean hear me out- I love money who doesn't? But there's so much bad press about this game going around and initially I just thought it was another hate train run by fuckwads But pretty much all the hate this game is getting is totally justified So I'm gonna pull a total Pontius Pilate and wash my hands at this game. Initially when I was making this video I gave the developers fair warning and in response they told me to not make this video because they're bringing out a patch that would "Fix Everything" he said it would drop Let's see uh oh yeah four fucking days ago. I don't think these guys are scam artists I just don't think they're artists at all (well spoken Pyro) You know those gmod story maps people would make back in 2010? Just think of it as one of them, but with a much bigger budget I think they've made a colossal stinker of a game But if they do somehow manage to patch out all the bugs and fix everything I will happily name Hunt Down the Freeman the canonical Third episode of Half-Life 2. All they need to do is: and then you've actually got a Competent game worthy of your $25. I think my experience with this game is perfectly summarized in the final area There's no endgame boss instead you have a 15 minute standoff against waves of combine the first three minutes were the most interesting reflecting my intrigue for a game with such a bad reputation And the other 12 minutes the ground enemies just give up for some reason And they're replaced with invincible Snipers. At which point I found the only use for the prone feature: to cuddle up against the wall and make a Reuben sandwich Waiting for this game to end. Now, although I despise this game and feel like it took at least a third of my soul with it into the void, that Reuben sandwich I made Was actually pretty tasty. So I'm giving Hunt Down the Freeman a fair, but totally earned 11/10. It really just makes you FEEEEEEL LIKE GORDON FREEMAN *Outro music* So they did actually drop a patch for this game. almost a fucking month later... They've actually added a tutorial to the game now, which is pretty neat. This is one of the criticisms I had before that there was no guide to learning the new stuff, but even here. They somehow got it wrong Drill Sergeant: "First and last word I wanna hear from your filthy mouths is 'sir'. Do you maggots understand? Troops: "YES SIR!" Drill Sergeant: "You will listen to me, and I will teach you. At the end of the day, I will make you eat battle and shit victory!" *Everything is dead* You're not- you're not- you're not gonna let me past? No, no, okay Loudspeaker: "Jump, soldier!" Press X to- I couldn't even fucking read that. Nice So I had to go back into the footage to see what that note said. Now, I was here for a good 5 to 10 minutes having no idea what to do because I was pressing X and nothing was happening. And that's because even though it does say press X to vault the actual button to enter parkour is still H Because apparently you had an invisible weapon in your hand that you needed to holster beforehand You couldn't make this shit up if you tried They've also added more props into the game Some of them blocking you from going to parts of the map that just ended up being dead ends. Music has been added to some Parts so instead of just fitting like fish in a barrel you feel like a fish in a barrel But now you have elevator music. Some areas are even given a new coat of paint as well Which is to be fair pretty neat. Some of the bugs and visual glitches have been nined out as well like the guys I voice now actually have eye textures. What the f- That- is this guy just pretending to do stuff? He's not holding anything in his hand. And they finally fix that problem Where saving in a vehicle would brick your save. So I do think overall that Hunt Down the Freeman is an amazing game, and they've done a great job whoa hold up there stranger Now before you roll out the red carpet and congratulate these guys for their stunning achievement You need to keep in mind They've made a broken game into a playable one. Just because I can finish a $25 game without cheating doesn't mean it's worth my $25. There's still glaring features in the game like the environments being way too open and bland and an enemy amount to challenge Leonidas's Spartans. On top of that the patch seems to have added problems into the game. Remember earlier when I said everything was too dark? Now they've made the game too bright, so you can navigate pitch-black areas without any problem It's almost like Big Mitch pops some cateye from New Vegas. and plus There's still tons of bugs lying around whether the devs didn't see them or chose to ignore them I'll leave up to you But I will commend these guys for sticking with this game and trying to patch out some of the bugs It feels more like putting makeup on a corpse, but I do appreciate the effort nonetheless I would like to think of this as a No Man's Sky situation: where a steady stream of patches and updates can slowly win back some of the core audience for this game. The core audience Being people that play video games. But there's two main problems halting Hunt Down the Freeman: the game has no replay value Whatsoever and No Man's Sky, no matter How shite was actually complete on launch. When you have a story-driven single-player game You usually know you're gonna have one shot to make your mark and the fact they didn't issue refunds and remove the game from the page while fixing an Unbeatable game totally baffles me. As much as I wanna have sympathy for these guys I feel like they've dug their own grave on this one But I wish them the best and hopefully in any future endeavors they can actually Competently check their games before releasing them with a $25 price tag. Now, I was gonna give this game like a 3/10 or something, but seeming I'm in it. I dunno- I'll just give it a 10 just this once. Also I made a new twitter. I-I'm not even gonna tell you what it is I'll just link it in the description Because by the time you watch this it'll be fucking suspended again. From what I can gather Twitter have blacklisted my Computer's internal IP or some techno shit that I don't care about. So basically I can only tweet from my phone which is great Have you tried typing on a phone compared to a keyboard? It's a thrilling experience. Anyways thanks for watching. Hope you enjoyed the video just subscribe and get a life. *β™«Outro Musicβ™«* Elderly NFKRZ: "Excuse me for a little while." *disappears out of this shit game good for him* ok Why do people fucking make this game?
Info
Channel: Pyrocynical
Views: 9,869,385
Rating: 4.9370289 out of 5
Keywords: pyrocynical, hunt down the freeman, hunt, down, the, freeman, refund, a good video, review, analysis, critique, comedy, funny, half life 3
Id: w7Se1iwsV48
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 36min 36sec (2196 seconds)
Published: Sat Mar 24 2018
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