Girls can't be Gamers

legend has it there's a youtuber out there so wholesome directly gazing into his eyes grants an extra 15 years of life an individual so dedicated to improving the quality of life for everyone around him and when you share my videos you're helping to change lives too that he can turn normal clean drinking water into sparkling water and that man is none other than dharma it wasn't noah who divided the red sea it was dharma it wasn't master chief that saved us from the covenant it was darman a man so generous to the cause he'd donate his massive biceps just so starving children could have a warm meal i'm getting more of a seared bite on the implant then i'm getting on the axle what no no no no no no now i do want to say i am not the first person to cover darman there have been many many other people to make videos on him for example noah miller's friend and even of course the daily upload man and i was just brutalizing my ball sack and who can blame them because darman is one of the most influential creators of our generation i think it's safe to say that more people know about darman than the nord who wakes you up in the skyrim intro kyle goes out and pops bottles at the club he keeps spending money and living an expensive lifestyle kyle's life starts going downhill i'm going to take laura to the louis vuitton and gucci store to try to pick up some stuff for myself now every diamond video has three integral parts a protagonist an antagonist and an m night shyamalan twist the protagonist will usually be a small introvert person someone who's really being unfairly treated by life the antagonist on the other hand will be a literal jared leo joker archetype that wants nothing more than to watch the world burn a perfect example actually is uh this video here bully shames nerd for his shoes and car he lives to regret it die man i like as well how even the title calls him a nerd like you might as well have just titled it uh investment banker shames joker for believing in society but the irs no thank you man these are the hottest shoes out right now you gonna buy a pair i i want to but i'm trying to save money you can say that again how did you buy those ten years ago can we add like a volume third sound effect every time the bully says something mean to the nerds please hello i just can't believe you wear those i wouldn't be caught dead then all right all right jared leto jared leo calm calm down man it's kind of genius as well because there's no like pre-established backstory for these two characters they could be lifelong friends and if so the nerd clearly has some kind of uh undiagnosed stockholm syndrome or more likely this guy's just walked into the gucci store and just started roasting the nearest person next to him that'll be 197.60 there's 200. thank you there's your change have a nice day me too i don't know why i i genuinely thought that like he was going to let her keep the change just to be even more of a dick to the guy you know he'd just be like no you can you can keep the change see that i can let her keep the change because i have money you'll never have this this these shoes it's like you get two characters from a vine but they're actual real people i like how the nerd is so desperate for friends that he befriended the local psychopaths we make the same money so i know you can afford it yeah one thing i like is that it establishes that they both make the same income there's no like disparity of wealth and the nerd character is literally dressing up as mark zuckerberg like he's got the plain tee and the denim trousers one thing i want to say about the nerd as well is that he's actually so humble he's wearing a shirt that literally hugs his biceps shoot what are you doing relax it's just a penny just a penny don't you know a penny saved is a penny earned can you imagine like this is this is actually a mark zuckerberg autobiography like coming of age story tries to make himself out to be like the most wholesome person of all time but your honor we sold millions of our users data because as my father once told me a penny saved is a penny earned i submit to you that this is both totally unacceptable and totally predictable just sips from the glass like really awkwardly after dangerous levels of lead were found in the city's water in 2014. check out my new ride oh just picked her up just to uh solidify by the way that he is the antagonist for this episode he has a decepticon decal on the side of his car you don't get to see the back of the car but i'm sure there's a decal there that's got like you know heath ledger joker saying it's not about the money it's about sending a message so you can kind of guess what happens here you know the jack like spends all of his money ends up being poor and then the nerd saves all of his money and he becomes really rich and successful because i mean that's that's a very superficial look at society but you know hi i would like to return these i just don't think i can afford them anymore no problem 1801 there you go oh my god was that dramatic irony he got the penny that he gave to the nerd okay guys i also love as well i only just picked up on this now he returned the shoes that he bought but this is years later like what kind of refund policy do these guys have aren't refund policies like 30 to 60 days at best i mean this store would probably go defunct if you could return a jacket like 30 years later [Music] ryan kyle hey man it's been a long time why does he look like he's been crying could you imagine just been waiting in that car park for five years just hoping that he bumps into him so i can like brag about how much he's made also one thing darman has taught me becoming humble eliminates the need for glasses i don't know why they did this thing like they gave the bully ripped jeans to kind of show that he's on his last legs despite the fact that ripped jeans usually cost more than regular jeans technically the way you could look at that even though he's poor he's still trying to flex so you see i worked hard learned how to invest most importantly i opened an undeclared offshore account opened up shell companies to hide my funds and never declared my taxes i may look rich and successful bully character but i owe the government 6.8 million dollars in undeclared funds wait are you gonna buy some shoes oh no i actually own the shoe store now take care of yourself i okay i get it because he owns the shoe store he doesn't need to buy shoes oh my god so true jesus christ also like way to wait to kick him when he's down man jesus i thought you becoming the rich guy would make you more humble but i guess not you want to start investing tough luck buddy buy your own investing now take care though man so if you couldn't tell the main format of these videos is bad man becomes poor man becomes i learned something man i'm gonna be honest you don't need to watch the decay of walter white all you need is a single diamond video a day how much do you make sweetheart i make 25 an hour but first damn how am i gonna pull this off if you give up now we'll make it quick and painless [Music] oh nice rick and morty reference what on earth are these they're recons what do you want a pair of earbuds but don't think it's an economical investment buddy what the hell are you talking about with an amazing noise-canceling fit and incredibly long battery life these raikons are a valuable [Music] bastard bartender give me a beer would you kindly sure buddy coming right up [Music] what what the what the hell is this i already have one of these of course but raycons come in a diverse range of colours giving you premium wireless audio for half the price of competitors with zero compromise you as the customer always come first well get me a goddamn beer if the customer's always right no can do i'm afraid this is a family-friendly advertisement but may i interest you in some sparkling water i did it again i said water water enunciate the team town's gone damn crazy some kind of voodoo magic all right everyone uh valuables in the bag and nobody gets hurt all right hold your horses i don't have much about from these hair raycons well so so beautiful the flawless design i i heard snoop dogg is obsessed with these things now what the hell is a snoop dogg i bet they have at least six hours of playtime with a seamless bluetooth pairing and amazing audio quality but it are you just gonna take them off of me or should i throw them outside if you go to buy raycon dot com forward slash parasitical you you can get 15 off your raycon purchase wow what what a steal i use raycon's daily while listening to music giving me unmatched audio clarity all right all right admin the these guys are failing rp he he's promoted something from the 21st century this is a wild west server no no no no all i wanted to do was promote the perfection and convenience of reiko i got some ideas thank god that's over now let's see what's in the paper [Music] now one thing darman likes to do is expand and network his brand that's why he brings on various e-celebs to cameo in his videos for example here he recently collabed with popular internet sensation sniper wolf or as i like to call her queen of the seven year olds because every child with an ipad has watched a sniper wolf video hello friends it's me and today can i get an we're gonna be checking out some dumb people i don't know if these gotta be the dumbest criminals or some of the most genius not not now i'm gonna give them that much credit here we got modern day jessie and james tactics to try to smuggle a leg of ham when she says like a ham i just think that that time was on cold ones [Applause] hey barbie yeah honey aren't you excited well i was hoping to get it playstation 5 oh my god i can't believe it oh we know how badly you wanted it but that's what i wanted does it come with two controllers [Music] don't be silly sam video games aren't for girls just like uh some kind of black mirror episode or something like they're being so condescending to the daughter it's really unnatural don't be silly sam video games aren't for girls [Applause] the boy gets 600 present plus scalping prices and girl gets seven dollar present also just to let you know uh we got a 4k tv for your brother so you know he could play fortnite in 4k 60fps but don't worry we didn't leave you out we got you a one dollar hairdryer extension for the barbie figure but to be fair i do want to say she has opened one present of the many behind her and she's concluded that that is the best present she'll get actual dribbler i think i think i had that logic when i was about four could you imagine like the diamond twist here is to not take everything at face value the barbie doll is made out of solid gold and the ps5 is just full of peanuts garment writing stuff just there like oh we got him again we got him we make seven videos a day but we can always make a twist that's not true my favorite youtuber sniper wolf she started gaming when she was just seven years old it's my dream to be a gamer just like her uh i wouldn't say she's a girl gamer buddy i i definitely would not use those words but to be fair i guess saying you want to be a woman that watches a clip and then repeats what she saw every 15 seconds it's not as impactful oh i was like wait but he made it but then he started celebrating that he made it but then the other team brought how do they shoot it that far and yes i know that is exactly what i'm doing now but at least i don't put a soy face in the thumbnail at least i haven't for a couple years shut up sniper on the roof drop an airstrike hey what are you doing playing on my ps5 give me my controller back hold on there's only six people just want to put it out there i'm sure this message like the conclusion is gonna be really wholesome we're all gonna learn a lot but now i don't want to snitch 13 year old playing an m rated game i'm a goddamn onion mason give him back his controller right now but i'm about to win fine let's see [Music] see i told you video games aren't for girls i better not see you playing anymore so many things wrong with this scene i've got to break it all down bit by bit firstly the mother being so brainwashed that she believes that women can't do anything apart from play with chinese dolls the fact that the girl is not even really touching any buttons on her controller and i mean if you slow down and look at that gameplay she's like miles off shooting anything like what what is this man and more importantly if she did win what would happen would the mother have a complete mental breakdown because her philosophy has been proven to be a lie and women actually are equal you know just goes into the kitchen and has like a bottle of red wine to herself oh how cute is this you can wear when you go back to school i don't like dresses [Music] actually do you think i could get this new wolf pack hoodie please please stepperwolf just came out with it that gamer girl i already told you video games aren't for girls so forget about it now i will give darman credit that is the correct thing to do when your child asks to buy youtuber merch unless it's uh this is my merch yeah this is what i want to [ __ ] wear this is what everyone wants to wear then you're just awesome no bias i think my merch job is actually shot at the minute but if you do want to support the channel you could subscribe or follow my instagram for example i posted this wonderful picture where i have no upper lip i want to play with barbies [Music] [Applause] oh my gosh i'm so sorry can i just bring up what is with dharman using an object being kicked over to introduce a new character like we have the coin being rolled over to the nerd when he finally made it big and now you have this with sniper wall to be honest the girl might as well just be holding a giant sign in her hand that says symbolism where'd you kick this i was just mad because i want to be a girl gamer but my mom says girls can't play oh my gosh sniper wolf hi hi huh i just love how like unnatural this meeting is i wish i could meet a girl gamer meets a girl gamer oh my god pog how do you do it you kind of you gotta like open the door and then go like can you guys make that an official twitch emote please i know you got rid of the other one the last time i saw you do park it was like a soy man or something but honestly i was always told the same thing growing up you were yeah but i never let that stop me if boys can do something then so can girls there's no reason why girls can't be gamers i love the fact that this message is coming from sniper wolf a react channel like even pokeman would make more sense here because that would be a girl gamer do any of you see any gaming here i don't but what i do see what the hell did she react to a diamond video no no no no no no no you can't be in a diamond video and react to them that's not fair i'll tell you what [Applause] you can have the one i just bought what really yeah no just takes it back what really of course you can have a small child i made about 15 of them in the past minute we spoke from passive income here's my official youtube page and my merch link and make sure to subscribe i gotta move the circle's closing and pop a new uav i hate to be morbid here because obviously i haven't done that enough in this video could you imagine how ribbed this child would be if they spoke into the mic in a god loving [Music] i'm pretty sure like 95 of call of duty funny moments is when they find a child guys say peanut oh here we go again how many times do i have to tell you girls can't play video games i don't even know how you got one but after you lose i'm taking away your playstation one thing i don't get is like why is the mum being such a dick like that's right child i'm gonna take away the thing that i didn't even buy you and next i'm going to protest out in public to abolish women's suffrage i got him yes yes yes i won really hey what happened i just went warzone what you're kidding i've never won before wow look at that guys the family now accepts her and all it took was her to do a trial by fire by winning a difficult video game what a nice family making their daughter put herself under stress just to please them could you imagine like if the last guy she killed was ksi or something he's just like molding on the other end of the mic i've been waiting for five minutes please please i got him sam starts to win more and more the mom starts to realize that maybe girls can be gamers this is literally just the worst message of all time i get it they're trying to form this message of you know women and girls can do whatever men do equal and that's great and darman says it in such a heroic way as well the mom starts to realize that maybe girls can be gamers a while later sam even gets offered an official spot on a popular esports team dear psycho mantis all right i'll get i'll give you that one i'll give you that one that's a good reference i will show you why i am the most powerful practitioner of psychokinesis and telepathy in the world hmm you regret not pulling out of dogecoin don't you you are somewhat reckless sam even gets offered an official spot we at waze clan it's like every seven-year-old says faceclon and then one day sam even starts streaming hey guys thanks for joining me and today's live stream i've actually got my mom joining me could you imagine like they do an entire video dedicated to like the difference between girl gamers and then boy gamers and the girl one is like all wholesome and friendly like this video and then the boy gamer is just uh just pewdiepie you set goals because no no i also want to point out i skimmed through a lot of diamond videos you know to pick out some really juicy ones from this video there's one i found not really worth covering but one of the characters is just casually reading dharman's own book in the video i looked it up online as well and this book isn't even out yet it's not readily available like he broke the fourth wall to shill a product that doesn't yet exist i also noticed as well on this on the channel banner it says family friendly and kid approved family friendly i get you know it's a cornerstone of youtube it's the difference between being paid something or being paid nothing but what does kid approve mean they just walk up to a random kid on the street give him 50 and say is this approved yes okay next video i want to look at principal scolds the student what happens next is so shocking now the next one is a very valuable lesson that school bad so darman wrote the antagonist to be a teacher who suffers with dementia and has to ask the same question every 15 seconds mary any update received any donations from the alumni not yet sir we'll keep trying we don't have much time left would you like me to bring her in now wait first how are we doing on the alumni donations we don't have much time left we haven't gotten anything nothing how could no money have been raised since the last 20 seconds i asked you the same question apparently this uh head teacher he has to raise about 25 000 or the school goes defunct and in typical deus ex machina fashion a girl comes in and has the exact amount of money the head teacher needs but not without departing with a valuable lesson i heard the school was in need of some money so i came to make a donation a donation to the school oh my god this is amazing this is exactly how much we need thank you so much miss miss miller yes now i am giving you this under one condition promise me from now on you'll let students know that just because you don't succeed in one class doesn't mean you can't succeed in life [Music] yes absolutely you have my word thanks for the money ma'am i appreciate that and i will change bring the next child in you'll amount to nothing moral of this story people can change as long as they're given enough money also one thing that made me laugh rewatching this uh the subtitle font they use is the call of duty black ops agency font so whenever i read it i just instantly think it's a scene from black ops dad i'm scared i need help you're seven years old david stop acting like a baby the next episode talks about a gold digger and how she basically believes that she's above everyone else despite the definition literally meaning you are scum of society and contribute nothing apart from spending other people's money oh honey it's the boss i have to take this and is that robin hood credit card it's genius though they name it robin hood but the sole intention of the app is steal from the poor give it to the rich oh where are all the extra smalls hi excuse me can i get a little help over here all right dar i think she's meant to be a gold digger not count frollo gold diggers are meant to be crafty flaunting their wealth but you know keeping a little bit of cover to not blow it in front of their partner oh sorry would you mind being a little more careful i just spent a lot of time organizing those uh isn't that your job you're right sorry why is she talking like the woman's hearing impaired or something like it's so apparent she's been told to just be the most complete ignorant arrogant douche you can be but she's like chewing the scenery no you should do whenever like she speaks just get someone in the corner like a green screen just doing sign language or something oh i'm so sorry ma'am but we're actually out of all extra smalls oh this is unbelievable you're not helpful at all oh i think you're uh i think your accent slipped out there a bit mim i think you're in australia you came out a bit the plot twist for this diamond episode by the way uh she is an australian but she's using identity theft she's got like 15 forged passports in her trunk and probably a body of the last identity she stole let me ask you something have you ever worked in retail before no i have my husband's credit card i don't need to work she says that like like it's a legitimate accomplishment this is the kind of person that cries on twitter saying hold your dogecoin only to sell it five minutes later okay they'll be 489.38 here great uh can i see an adida match that's my husband's credit card i don't have his id i'm so sorry ma'am but for transactions over 250 dollars i need to see an id moral of this story identity theft is okay as long as you get the gucci shirt but yeah you can see it coming typical diamond twist uh the husband comes in he's now broke she has to get a job build herself up in retail she gets bullied by like mirror images of how she treated other people and then she grows and develops as a person to be honest the real moral of this story do not work in retail given the choice because uh you know you know that list of human rights now this next video came out yesterday and oh my god five million views in a day five million views in a day no wonder you got that mansion in l.a damn damn morning class we have a new student starting today everyone say hello to gus his family just moved here fresh meat hmm i wonder who the antagonist of this episode is i am not sure how i can tell maybe it is because the kid has his own health bar and boss theme whenever you walk near him what do you think you're doing i don't think i've seen a less aggressive table slam in my entire life that wasn't even a slam that was like wiping the dust off the table top you could start by doing my math homework but wouldn't that be cheating did i sound like i was asking get it done or else you might not make it to the second day of school slams paper against chest they do this a lot i mean subtitles are great i really appreciate it very inclusive nothing wrong with that but they seem to add subtitles to things that they didn't really need to subtitle like for example uh panicked breathing or when a child gets water poured on their head i'm gonna need that jacket it's mine now please don't this is my favorite jacket have some of my water you know dustin you start being nice to the people because the way you treat others always has a way of coming back to you that is about the dumbest thing come over here i just want to like imagine the dharma narration kicking in roundabout now and dustin was told by the principal that his entire family was wiped out by a meteorite maybe if he was nicer to the new kid the meteorite wouldn't have hit the earth dustin now is about to find himself as the new kid starting in a new school on his first day dustin walks into the class nervously worried about not knowing anyone what do you mean not knowing anyone there's like three people in this entire class also one thing i don't get about this story it's like him going to a new school it's like resetting his rep like he's playing bully or something the kid's still a dick he's not gonna lose that quality just by going to a new school but yeah literally same story just slight differences bully gets bullied bully becomes good i mean i do genuinely enjoy these diamond videos like it's a nice change from the constant barrage of negativity on the website i mean even i contribute to that as satirical as i am the thing is darman seems to think that you can rewrite like childhood trauma overnight just by watching a wholesome video i get that it's good news and that's great but it's so self-congratulatory reminds me of this article that got wrote and it was like uh the karen meme isn't funny anymore the person who wrote it was called karen here you go sir here's your lunch are you kidding me you call that lunch i cannot believe that me a multi-millionaire is sitting here in this dump eating this garbage food what do i look like a janitor imagine paying for health care this post was made by britain gang britain is a country of freedom where bold men throw around respect and we as fellow british citizens treat each other with dignity this remains all bad i'm a ceo of a major company on a private jet and i live in a mansion what narcissist oprah's up with the line like that i like as well how he'll brag about being the ceo of a major company but will not name the company i'm a ceo of a major company on a private jet and i live in america nice empty brag what is it that you do well ironically i'm a janitor i i don't know why that's so funny is that they write these people to be so comedically two-dimensional it just comes across as a comedy now the problem is with the rich guy even though he's rich no one wants to visit him he's divorced from his wife his daughter wants nothing to do with him and he's laid off a bunch of employees at his company and they want nothing to do with him so darman tries to rub salt on the wound by having the mother of the other patient come in then the daughter not at the same time mind you they just let the girl in on her own because we've we've gotta deal double damage to this guy hey carlos hey boss what you got there all of us at work heard what happened and we wanted to give you these looks like you already have so many flowers i don't even know where to put these the good and the just were like gold dust in the city i had no illusions i was not one of them i was no hero it's literally like they're intentionally trying to mess with this guy do you know lonely man rich but no friends damn do you do you know where i could put all these flowers for this loved and adorned man ah carlos we know you needed an organ transplant so here's my liver oh shucks i i don't know what to say but my my freezer's full of livers already donated you don't make the kind of profits i do by helping people hello sir i um told everyone at the office you're in the hospital nope are they coming i'm sorry sir i don't think so after the last round of layoffs everyone's still pretty upset are you kidding me like it's all presented in such a comedic way like nothing is left up to your interpretation in this video is complete black and white you're either this poor hard-done man that can do no wrong and just life has been knocking him down constantly or you're david brent i may not have a big house i have a private jet i've got a family that loves me i got a family that loves me so i have a lot of love that's it by the way there's no like redemption arc for this character he just sees the other guy's family go home and you got to kind of hope he changed i love i love darman i just want to i just want to kiss his armpits like i bet there is so much knowledge stored in there hey man there's a day party have me on greek row you want to roll um i thought we were gonna go to the library to study for finals you stopped being such a nerd i thought this guy was gonna sit next to him and go you know what you want to study dude i i get it i get it i'm going to go with these guys but you know what you study and i respect that you're probably going to do better than me in the long run but i respect that man i'm just going to go out with these these hot girls though [Music] right you should really be studying too kyle come on man you're really going to put books over babes you know that meme or it's like people people queueing up one of them is like book one of them's phone like instead of phone just have babe if caring about my future makes me a nerd then i'm perfectly fine with that and you should always be nice to nerds because chances are you'll probably end up working for one holy sh [Music] is is he is he actually tearing is he tearing up for real you know what i never thought i'd do this in my life i'm taking the oscar away from dharma and i'm giving it to the lowly nerd one week later each of them got their test scores back sure enough norman ends up acing his final exam and gets an a plus kyle on the other hand ends up failing his final dude 10 seconds ago woke up hungover looking like a corpse what logic does this man have to apply thinking that he does no studying and then gets an a hey kyle yeah it's been a long time wow i had no idea you worked here i do it's been a long time kyle remember when you got your test results 15 minutes ago and then darman told us to put these suits on it's been a while buddy and yeah i've i think we've all watched enough dharma videos to know what the outcome is going to be the nerdy guy owns the company he's really successful uh the butch jack guy is trying to get like an entry level in because he didn't put the time in maybe you could put in a good word with your boss actually i am the boss and finally one more story from darman a young boy goes to his grandparents for thanksgiving but doesn't want to be there kevin why aren't you hanging out with your cousins because i don't want to come on mommy he's watching james charles on tick tock where's the turkey i i'm really sorry kevin but uh things have been a little tight so i couldn't buy a turkey this year what you can't be serious what's the point having a thanksgiving dinner if we're not gonna have any turkey no turkey for thanksgiving america lust like i get it when i was younger i hated family events i'd always pull out my ds and open piktochat pretending someone would join eventually do you realize how many people wish they had the things that you're complaining about why do you keep saying that do you see that guy over there this is the one thing i love about darman videos they have to be so inclusive to such a wide audience from like 100 year olds to children that have just came out the womb every point that's made there then has to be a physical example to the audience hey is everything okay why are you crying oh it's the thing i'm sorry i i commented my psn id on every sniper wolf video and she banned me i genuinely can't tell if that's meant to be the same girl from the sniper wolf video like could you imagine like she just came second place in another war zone game so they just booted her out the house there you go thank you so much i'm so grateful for everything you're welcome make yourself at home consider us like family just stay away from my ps5 women are not allowed to play that guys we came full circle in a single video this is you did it so yeah that's probably enough darman i can stomach for one video thank you for watching i appreciate it if you enjoyed uh subscribe like comment your home address the next video might take a little bit to come out but it'll be a completely different backdrop i'll probably build it up over time but yeah should be interesting [Music] [Applause] [Music] a

Channel: Pyrocynical

Views: 3,006,952

Rating: 4.9397874 out of 5

Keywords: sssniperwolf, funny, dhar mann, dhar mann sssniperwolf collab, sniperwolf, dhar mann girl gamer, girl gamer, girls can't be gamers, inspiration, instagram, cringe, pyrocynical, sketch

Id: dcD44KgC-Uw

Length: 38min 35sec (2315 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 12 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/Simp_4_pyro]

Another video in the same year clam down pyro

[u/goatpi]

When the imposter has 8 midroll ads

[u/Superb_Ad6733]

Pyro uploading twice in the span of 30 days? Holy fucking shit. Love you Pyro

[u/RyanWhittaerFE16]

It’s only been two weeks since the last video what’s going on?

[u/Egginsect1000]

Ok 19 dollar fortnite card who wants it?Finish the sentence

[u/-ORIGINAL-]

We all know that girls can't be gamers so what's the point?? 🤷‍♀️

[u/Spidersox-]

Red dead redemption 2 review

[u/_lord_ruin]

He has a decepticon--" > Shows Autobot symbol

[u/BruhNeymar69]

Sssssniperwolf... Cringe? Dharr... Also cringe? W*man gamer... Not relatable? Brave statements only on the Pyrocynical channel