TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YOU LADDIES, MY name is jacksepticye! and welcome back to hitman, now i know i said i was only gonna make one video per level But apparently theres a whole other section to this level that I missed, and I kinda feel bad about that and I really just wanted to play more of it anyway because it's a really good game This is good old Hitman, this is Hitman like it should be. The way the older games were it's so Bloodmoney. and I have stuff all wrapped up in my sleeves, that I have to get rid of The sleeves are up, its game time I'm just sitting here, reading the express news Reading- reading the good ol' sports section, hey lady what are you doin'? Texting your boyfriend? Okay.. cool oooHHH I WANT ICE CREAM I SCREAM YOU SCREAM WE ALL SCREAM GIMME SOME! I will have.. okay what do we got here? hmm... we've got some honey nut raisin cheerio flavour What is this guy eating? What are you eating? wha- Where'd your ice cream go? Did you eat it in one bite? That's my bro, that's my man! That's how we do, okay I would like some blueberry capawala flavour please UM ... 'scuse me sir wait your fUCKING TURN OOh they also have cakes! OOH I WANT THIS ONE L-LADY? CAKE - CAKE ME UP Cake me good, cake me just like you should! Come on man! Can't I buy anything? I wanna ice cream! awww I want it so bad oh my god I found him! My twin brother! Steve!! I've missed you all these years!! Bring it in pal!!! Bring it in bro! Aw that sweet warm embrace! Oh wait no, oh! sorry! wrong guy!, sorry ha, I thought he was my long lost twin brother, never mind Create oil leak, missing: wrench can I do something with you? Let's blend in! Let's blend in bland in! Cool, I've- I'm SO blended in right now. I'm SO blended in that you can't even see me. Where'd I go?! Nobody knows! I disappeared! The great vanishing Hitman! Okay, I gotta get a wrench. So I can create an oil leak in that guy's car. Hmm I need a cool disguise, I need the best disguise. that no one would ever suspect ''Good for business'' Uhhhh, what? That's not creepy at all Oh, you're referring to me. Yes! Business will be very good today! I will bring you a lot of patrons. DEAD PATRONS Can I go in here? No? Can I subdue you? Is there anywhere to put you? If I subdue you? Can I put you in a coffin? That'd be so good! What's in here? I have no idea but I am so curious, I'm curious like George now Hello? Anybody? Graves, oHH None of you guys suspect anything COOL! ''We're in the middle of a discussion here!'' ''So unless you have something to contribute, would you please get the hell outta here'' How are you in the middle of a discussion? That person's dead! He's having a discussion with the coffin. I mean, I'm all for like mourning and telling people that like ''Oh I miss you so much, I wish you were here'' kinda stuff But, that's not a conversation Or a discussion Two people need to be talking for that. You're just a crazy. Can I get into the tractor lawnmower and just run over everybody? That'd be awesome! Good god this level is massive! I was only in that place last time! This is awesome! Oh my god a priest! Oh I need his disguise Oh I need it so bad. Where are you going Father? *irish mumbling* Father how's it going? Do you wanna take a confession from me? a brick I need to kill the Priest I need to be dressed up as a priest for this episode Oh man I could have so much fun! shit He's going to say mass I don't wanna be here when he's gonna say...okay.. where the fuck is he going? I need to kill him! is this a good place? Is this a good place? close the door SUBDUE YEAH, GET HIM! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH NO NO IT WASN'T ME NO YOU SAW NOTHING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA She's a doctor! ooooohhh You killed a guy with that disease, didn't you? I'm not gonna kill you though, you're fine you confessed, that's fine The priest though, he's got some dirty, dark secrets. Look him in the eyes and tell me he doesn't have some secrets That's a man who knows some shit Brief window, brief window, brief window. OH yes! I got him, I got him, I got him, I got him Ok, drag him- drag him in here. There's nobody in here I don't think. Oh God. Do not get spotted- ah sHIT THIS IS NOT A HIDDEN PLACE *mumbling* fuck, fuck, fuck What am I gonna do? Disguise as the priest There we go! I'M JUST BRINGING OUT THE DEAD AyY what up girls? You guys-you guys into priests? Ok I need to bring him down here- I need to hide him somewhere Aah shit dude I thought that there'd be like a- coffin or something to put him into God dammi-ok. COME WITH ME, COME WID ME FATHER. I mean- I'm the Father now. -hide ya down here? Is there anybody down here? I don't think aaanybody's down here. I don't think anybody's been down here for fuckin' years. There's nowhere to hide you though- I need to put you into something. This is just straight-up catacombs. A catacombs full-a bones. Ah it's creepy Uuum... there ya go! Nobody's ever gonna look down here. Everything is fine. Tip-top shape. There. I've wiped my hands of it. Hello my children. Today we'll be sayin a grand old mass. Give up your old sins and God'll forgive ya. For any mis-deeds that any of ye have done. Does anyone here have a problem with the Lord's prayer? NO, good, okay, now after me. A-one, a-two, a- one two three four. Jesus is my saviour~ Jesus is my Lord~ He will forgive all my sins, with no accord! Now go say four "hail mary's" and you'll be grand Being a priest has it's advantages, now you can just kill people and no one'll be the wiser No one'll suspect a thing Ya see?! I got away wid it because I'm a man of the Lord and I'm doin' the Lord's work They spotted me! They spotted me! PRIEST POWERS ACTIVATE FORM OF RUNNING MODE GO! OOH it's the jester dude... Oh I wanna be him... NO I'm a priest, I'm a man of the Lord I got work to do. I-I have a special honour today Man I look good in priest robes HELLO THERE I'm Father McFielty, how's it goin? I hope ye guys are consenting and you guys are gettin' married before ye do the do. Cause if ye do the do before yer married YOU'LL BURN IN HELL FOREVER Ok, well Lord bless have a nice day! what is it my child? what have ye got to say? Father McFielty is here to listen to all yer confessions and all yer worries. I'VE KILLED FOUR PEOPLE... Aah sher jeesus thats grand don't even worry about it, say four "hail mary's" and ye'll be fine! How are ye lads, Father McFielty here. I'm here ta- give the Lord's prayer to the man o' the house. Am I allowed in? "Sorry Father, I just can't let you through here today" AH COME ON I'm a man of the cloth Surely ye can let a lad like me in YE BASTARDS I'll be back, I'll bring the Lord's vengence apon ye I'LL HAVE FOUR LAMB CHOPS, TWO RIB-RUMP ROASTS, AND FOURTEEN STEAKS I'll take it on the priest's discount which is payin' nothin. Can I- can I- Can I have me meat? Y-you're not even payin' attention to me- Hello knock knock Yes, HI there, yes I'd like FOURTEEN SAUSAGES, FIVE LUMPS OF BACON AND FOURTEEN HAMS well FUCK YE SAW YER WITH THE LORD NOW YOU SAW NOTIN PRIEST PUNCH GO I'll close the door so nobody knows whats goin' on Ha ha ha Dats how a priest works Seems like you're a little bit hot-headed, it's time for you to cool off here. Ha ha. You wouldn't arrest a priest now would ya? I'm a nice lad, I'm a man of the Lord AAAHHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I got an explosive golf ball?! Oh I'm gonna have fun with that. Why didn't I get that last time?! Ok it's time to go to work. Heh. Ya see, what ye gossins and girls might not know is that a priest is actually the stealthiest of all creatures Nobody ever suspects a man of the cloth Cause he gets in, he says a prayer, everyone believes him and then hE SHANKS YOU IN THE KNEES Hhhehuuer muRDER PRIEST - GO We're gathered here today in holy matrimony to join Jim, Terry and Bobby all together in holy matriholy And you're all goin' to live happily ever after and have loads of babbies and you're goin' to be great and everyone's gonna be like "wow the first triple male couple all together at last, finally" Now, ye may kiss each other's moustaches. HELLO HOW'S IT GOIN, IS THIS THE WAY TA LORD'S(?) IS THIS THE WAY- I HEARD THAT THERE'S A PRIEST CONFERENCE GOIN' ON AROUND HERE NO? AM I- AM I IN THE WRONG PLACE? *BOOM* NO? NO IT'S THE WRONG PLACE. IS IT THE WRONG PLACE THAT I'M IN- AAHAHHGHHHHHHHHHHHH I'll stay put if you go find my coin... I thought that this is a wishing well so I threw it in the water. Will ye go look for it? No? Ah come on now, ye wouldn't deny a priest would ya? Bastard. I wanna test somethin out. I wanna test if the explosive golf ball will knock all three of them into the water GO! *laughing* YEEeeEE *laughing* That's exactly what I wanted to happen They all just flew away. YAAY see ya later fellas ye saw nOTHIN, ye saw NOTHIN, the Lord won't forgive ye. HHHU- OH SHIT, OH SHIT, OH SHHIT AAHGGGHHHDH -GET HIM- HHOO HA That's how I roll, nobody suspects a thing AAAAAAHGHGHHHHHHHAHHGHHH FUCK YOU GUUUYS AAAHGH PRIEST DOWN A priest knows how ta cook a real spa- pot a spaghetti A spot a paggetti You didn't see nothin ok? You-you- *le gasp* HI.... IT WASS-IT WASN'T ME This might be a small bit harder than I imagined as a priest. Everyone is suspicious No one thinks that a priest should be in the kitchen But priests make great casseroles. Chicken casserole, We know- we know all our organic produce Look, I know organic produce. That's some right there, I know Pair a scissors, I could cook up a storm wid a pair of these But I need to get past you guys... and then past you guys... And then I- it's HARD ok? I only wanna kill one dude. That's all I wanna do and then I'm happy Can I go? Can I go- is everyone gonna stay here? Nobody's gonna move? sneaky sneaky sneaky priesty sneaky priesty sneaky sneaky There he is! There he is, I see him. Him and his stupid pink sweater We can do this We can do this- a PRIEST can do this A priest- *game talking* - I KNOW SHUT UP Can I hit him from here? That'd be fuckin sweet if I could That'd be some aim Oh god NO NOT YOU GUYS Ok he's going inside I can do this. I can be as sneaky as a snake I know what I must do now. To be-to bEAT the enemy, I must bECOME the enemy Because people keep spottin' me as the damn priest So I have to go in as somethin' else *grunts* Not gonna be a chef. I told myself I wouldn't go back to that life I'm gonna be somethin' else Heeeeehhhh HUP YES WhO SAW ME WHY AM I IN COMBAT GOOD GOD the fuckin' AI in this game is stUPID Well actually it's incredibly smart and that's why it's sTUPID Cause it keeps spottin' you no matter what ya do UuuUHH I F- I FOUND A BODY LOOK ITSA BODY i-I DIDN'T DO THAT I- *garbled excuses* itS A BODY ho HO HO Pick up golf club No I want- I wanna do something Can I place golf ball or something Maybe I have to have it equipped Come on buddy... I can't do it?! PLACE golf ball There we go Ha ha HA Let's see ya play a round of golf now BRO Here we go... is he gonna play golf? Ah this is gonna be amazing "FOOOR - BOOM" Please, please let it happen, it's all I want in life right now I'm gonna hide here though Ima hide here and get a fuckin' front row seat and then when you're dead I'm gonna run in like "OH NO WHAT HAPPENED" Hello Mr Carusso, today we're going to improve on that golf swing Improve on that rotation You gotta follow through You gotta swing super hard and follow through N-no practice shots, you gotta use a real ball AHH this is awesome Ok well I'm gonna leave this episode here I know there's somebody else to kill but I did that already I just wanted to do something different this time There's so much to this level This is a really, really good level, I'm very, very impressed by this Especially as what Hitman Absolution was, and then they changed it completely for this This is just good ol Hitman A big giant level, so much to explore, so many characters So many teeny, tiny intricacies This might be one of the best Hitman levels I've ever seen And that's not an exaggeration, this is really really good There's like a whole town to explore, it's phenomenal Anyway, THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WATCHING THIS EPISODE if you LIKED IT, PUNCH THE LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE... LIKE A BOSS!!! AND, HIGH FIVES ALL ROUND THANK YOU GUYS, AND I WILL SEE ALL YOU DUDES... IN THE NEXT VIDEO I'm sorry, did I distract you with my .. awesome pecs?
