KNIFE TO MEET YOU! | Hitman Absolution #1

ladies my name is jacksepticeye and welcome to the hitman absolution this is actually a game where you are to kill people this is workout DVD so you pick it and put it in and it's the absolution the she's cetera working anyway he said when there was playing Lucius that I should play a hitman game because they're very similar like you go around you kill people you try and hide the body as you find clever ways to kill people and I didn't want to play out solution as my first choice I actually wanted to play hitman blood money and I was recording it but for some reason it doesn't work with either Windows 7 or my graphics card or whatnot but every time I try and play it the game crashes after a finish a mission sometimes it's like in the middle of missions so if we can figure that out I play hitman blood money because it's my favorite hitman game but this is the newest one hitman absolution and I'm gonna play like the first level maybe dick around a Nancy or we can do prologue a personal contract this is gonna kill some fool during this assignment key game elements will be highlighted can you stop talking okay so she said be discreet which does not go with Jack I'm very loud and in-your-face and I would run into a room with a knife brandished and say [ __ ] and throw it at your head I will try and sneak through and then maybe afterwards we go around and kill lots of people but oh I scream I will have a double chocolate chip Oreo milkshake please well why am i why am I not getting my ice cream is easy not there I'm sad now this is my this is my walk of sadness can I take oh oh get ready Oh get ready oh yeah strangle them break his neck yeah oh what's up bro oh hey remember to hide the body bodies left in plain sight will alert your enemies you're not my real mom look at this face please kill me I don't want to be here [Music] no please put me down oh no I'm dead you shut up sir are you get in the hole get in there with those tennis balls this freezer where there's tennis balls in the freezer what's up bro oh what's that over there Oh sexy book just go over take a look at the book can ya bring up I hope you like the view down you go see you later boy wait can I throw this at this guy oh oh it's so sad suede that stunk in the back of the head nice okay and we disguise as you don't you dude so keep a safe distance you took my knife imma take his gun gritty diseases that prostate cancer thanks doc sorry you're a serious case of deafness though oh here we go now the mission is kickin it corner as a hopefully she was shown her mouth will your assignment is entirely up to you proce jacket boys in town you're gonna die y'all gonna get it I want to kill a chef with his own knife that'll be fun see here we go like I got the knife I got the knife here we go dude you are so gonna get effed into a right now wait which way you going I want to throw the knife at him but I also just want to go up behind him and yeah so oh oh oh nasty oh geez disgrace I'm gonna be a chef and dump you in the freezer there you go I'm a cook you later we're all gonna have some good eats tonight we're cooking some fish the fish isn't even completely in the pot that's not no this is all wrong this is all oh come here I'm so glad that Jack kill the chef because now we can actually get this food done but look at this that's not right at all no no no no shut up chop chop chop chop here we go we're cooking up with some welcome to Jack's cookery show today we're gonna be cooking up a nice old sea bass also his name is sea bass kick his ass seabass now over here you can see one that I prepared earlier doesn't look that appetizing but I've trust me it's delicious should few peppers up from that guy's ass whoa ah beautiful let me just get my ingredients here in the freezer yes you to really feel the ingredients you have to get into the freezer and then do a little peeking out yes nobody's looking nobody's looking that means that the food is really gonna marinate okay I don't know what I'm saying let's go off and kill some more dudes my friend are the two of you a sec man just carry on really it's a closet it's just a wardrobe way I move on then they were talking about gonna be sneaking upstairs do something to the lady [ __ ] I'm just gonna be over here dancing who are we gonna kill first eeny meeny miny everybody one by one that's how we're gonna do this anybody wanna cocktail I have a master at making drinks you were a you were checking the radio bro not today not nope didn't do it you know that was bad that was a bad agent 47 we're supposed to throw it at his head it's okay sir I got it I got it my night stop acting like an [ __ ] or I will have to take actions what I make an [ __ ] you're the [ __ ] take that you [ __ ] wait in your face hey no [ __ ] you'd [ __ ] oh the knife is like stuck in his face ha ha nice knife knife to meet you now you're gonna go in here and you're just going to cool off mister everybody chill yeah nice where was those eighties movie lights these days like somebody needs to bring back the cheesy quotes and no way could just go upstairs and finish the mission but that's not what I want to do I want to start killing some fools okay we gotta we gotta think this out Oh hot poker play take this oh sorry sorry I don't know no poker no just you guys wanna play some poker here you go I'm gonna take the knife consider if I can throw the poker at somebody I could distract somebody with it let's do that thing hi are you doing do you want to die yeah you heard that thank you buddy okay I need to get my knife real quick real quick here we go come on buddy come on buddy boy get ahead look this this is fun I'm having a good time that's gonna be a bit of a tough saying to get out now yeah I'm probably gonna need some oxy action vanish to get that out I could put you in the closet now we're in the closet now we're in the closet too there you go ah he's just a little turret out somebody had a little too much whiskey oh they saw the fluid that means Jack's gonna have to be on his toes I really want to kill you I don't know if the other guy he's gonna see it from back there oh yes so good uh-oh starter plaid Oh balls Rooney I am out of here nice make it in here beside my friend yeah hey buddy oh good to see you oh look he's just sleeping I take your clothes while we're in here come on even though you don't know it's me so I could just walk around freely anyway oh oh [ __ ] I didn't mean to do that [ __ ] just took him down he's busy let me sweetie and you were there it's friend ah so sleepy go sleep and good night you see they the bodies landed there are the developers of this game had some fun oh don't go upstairs no no dead dead dead dead nobody hears anything right just need the party there'd be all good right right I need to go back and get my knife cuz it's very nice to meet all these people in this room it's a very nice room of people think I can open up the blinds as well let me try hey how you doing it's a nice piano isn't it yeah I'll play me too I have an idea stay with me now okay stay with me oh wait that might not work I wanna strangle that guy and throw a knife with that guy that'd work I don't think so I think I think they're in the line of sight of each other I sit in the couch these are very nice they're very fluffy don'ts if one of you kind of would [ __ ] off a minute that would be cool and really that weight may be able to throw the knife over there and distract one of them good well there you go you saw which one it going I'll go find out good lad you were a great person fight you don't see me no no I'm just chef good to go ever here makes fish shush sir did you steal my knife that was mine I needed to do my chef's duties plan of action take two you gotta go like this what I'm not physically armed anymore he heard that now I've sworn to kill his friend goof coop shoot yeah attaboy yes now pick up the knife and do it again oh they gonna cut him in the neck let's go check let's go check the neck oh I got a really got it right here [ __ ] awesome okay um I'm gonna take your clothes cuz they're nice they look like they'd fit me open says me let there be light oh I forgot it was daytime outside it's a very nice apartment I could never live in an apartment like this myself cuz it's way too big there's way too much open space it feels so lonely look at the ice-cream truck again hi did you get what I needed yeah let me know if you find some ice cream hello beautiful lady wait that's not because I was weird dramatic Hollywood deaths that was a way better death than Talia al Ghul in the Dark Knight Rises oh whoa oh yes there we go go super speedy fast killing ah dude I forgot that was in the game such a badass look at all these dead fools and so Jack rolls I don't know where I got my suit back I left that back downstairs what are you what are you they do good right yeah a good score is he gonna tell me no okay well that was great but I'm gonna leave this video here I just wanted to do at least one video on a hitman game I will try and get blood money to work I was gonna it was either blood money or contracts that I was gonna play contracts the levels aren't as cool and blood money blood money I think is the best hitman game that's been released so far this is still a good one it's just a bit too linear for my like India the ones there were kind of crazy er you can go into big environments you could just are shooting people all over the place so I will try and get them to work let me know what you guys think if you want to see some more hitman stuff because I really like these games hitman hitman 2 specifically was like my childhood when I when I got that first I loved that two pits and you could turn on cheats that could make guys float off into the air and you could have like moon gravity and everything on I didn't office in the PC versions but anyway thank you guys so much watching this video if you liked it let's say like button and the face wake up eyes and my phase around fish thank you guys [Music] there's been a [ __ ] ball your rain down rain down like that good way to go right up in your face you want to go I fight you

Channel: jacksepticeye

Views: 3,714,579

Rating: 4.9410906 out of 5

Keywords: jacksepticeye, Hitman: Absolution (Video Game), Hitman (Video Game Series), Action-adventure Game (Media Genre), Gameplay, Walkthrough, Playthrough, Let's Play, Hitman jacksepticeye, Funny Moments, Best Bits, Funny, Commentary, Death, Killing, Violence, throwing knives, score, hidden, assassin, chef, disguise, instinct, agent 47, Assassinate, story, campaign

Id: TTa_KJi9Vws

Length: 13min 9sec (789 seconds)

Published: Wed May 27 2015