It Came From Tumblr #73 | Binge Compilation

hey dudes oh shoot hey dudes the sienna plus is now available makeshift you can get at the link below buy one so we all get one now go it's a binge compilation okay fine i can't believe i've been friendzoned by a skeleton i need more context on this i can't believe i've been friendzoned by a skeleton yeah today i learned that in 2019 a saxophonist was hired to compose a song for the critically endangered new zealand bird the kakapo in order to put them in a romantic mood for mating it seems to have worked as 249 eggs were laid and 76 hatched during the breeding season now that is bart the year is 2022 you and your gang shoot down amazon delivery drones and sell their contents for a living is this a prompt or a prophecy it's an instruction lynn manuel miranda is the new john green lin-manuel miranda's john green if john greed had written and produced italia i wish i didn't understand this post her you know pirates or yo-ho-ho pirates i'm in i'm not paying 600 for photoshop pirate meyer the toughest one of them all tears just leave water yeah well coffee's just bead water wow it's like everything is made of things this door is a wood rectangle this poster is just ink paper this lemonade is just lemon water wow it's like you could combine ingredients to make things that are more enjoyable than the initial parts of the equation sure is a magical world we live in the sarcasm in this post is fatal first-born children are the dumbest currency ever like what if i never planned on having child huh oh hey you old witch from the forest i want abs and four billion dollars and you can have all my children to return to be honest you know ira firstborn was psyche confused by the first seven or so words shut up you dumb currency the perfect couple one person has cold hands the other has warm hands together they maintain the ideal temperature for hand holding relationship goals thermal dynamic equilibrium so which of you is the source and which is the sink outdated memes should be called memories thanks to the memories even if they weren't so dank they taste like you only memer piece of media here is a female assassin nice she kills her monks by seducing them and i mean she kills her monks by seducing their wives and convincing them to murder their husbands go on i swear my cats have developed a division of labor when it comes to pestering me for stuff one of them only bugs me about empty food bowls and the other only bugs me about empty water balls never vice versa i have literally watched the cat who only asked for water run and fetch the other cat so she could give me hell about the food situation cats are incredibly intelligent but so so weird you know you don't have to ship things just a reminder you could deliver them poor thing walked right into an electrical fence while speaking noah's mythology right so the universe is all centered around this giant [ __ ] interdimensional space tree and earth is at one of its roots and it grows up through all these other realms with like giants and [ __ ] in them and the gods live in the two at the top greek mythology [ __ ] our gods uh live on that hill right over there all it's nice that we get to die someday imagine being immortal and suddenly you remember all the embarrassing things you did in the last 2000 years horrible oh god jeez what's wrong i just remember that time in 1654 when the tavern maid said enjoy the thing meal and i replied with this well what the [ __ ] is with english teachers and being like write a story about a deep and personal memory that impacted your life ma'am if i do that you're going to send me to the counselor's office you don't want that do you today i learned that according to the legend the corgi was a gift from woodland fairies and their markings were caused by saddles and stirrups placed on their backs how can you spend hundreds of years breeding a dog into a little sausage shape and then just forget about it and say fairies did it hey uh are you the real denny's why what have you heard who you've been talking to i love driving with my windows down but at what cost i'll tell you what's the cost the other drivers around me can hear me go hard to natasha bettingfield's iconic bop pocket full of sunshine while yelling at them for being morons who don't know how to use a turn signal ye the story of cats is that in the 1930s the famous poeties elia wrote a book of cutesy little cat themed poems for his got children and then 40 years later andrew lloyd webber found a lost cat poem that t.s eliot had cut from the cat book for being too sad for children and angel lord weber was like whoa okay that's it's sad this to you man i want to make a musical like eyeless so the producer assigned to the project was like okay i guess you could maybe read these cat poems as a satire to 1930s british society we could probably do some sort of interesting thing with that i'm thinking i could cast about five and andrew lord weber was like no forget the satire also i want to cast a dozens in the most advanced magical effects technology ever seen on stage i've taken out a second mortgage on my house to fund this and the producer's like do you even have a plot andrew lloyd webber got a bunch of actors and writers and artists together and they holed up and did cocaine workshopped for about five weeks and at the end of it they emerged and said the plot is that a bunch of cats are having a dance contest for the right to take a ufo to cat heaven and then it made two billion dollars i'm sorry the plot of cats is what please remember not to be harsh on yourselves don't tell me what to do i don't even listen to me if you're feeling mysterious take a mildly threatening sounding post and use a random name when referring to the person reading and give a few people with that name a heart attack dave never go into the cellar it has begun olivia so much in silent hill knows my cow was too here he is digging it and here he is not digging it anymore if the horror movie doesn't have synth in the soundtrack is it really sexy i think you mean scary i absolutely don't today i learned that daddy longlegs have been around for at least 400 million years barely changing and predate the dinosaurs longevity kinks more like young lady kings yes i am and always have been cringy yes i know it's supposed to be terminal by now either kill me yourself or stop complaining either kill me yourself or stop complaining is my new catchphrase and it's a powerful one hold on goad told us they sound more like salad fingers so yes i am and have always been cringy yes i know it's supposed to be terminal by now either kill me yourself or stop complaining either kill me yourself or stop complaining is my new catchphrase and it's a powerful one the only two ways i can categorize height is if i see something tall like a whoa big boy man and if i see something short i go hey baby man and i don't know what to blame for this anyway i want to hear about the time that ghost touched my ass sometimes i shine so beautifully that i can't even stare at myself without sunglasses other times i look and feel like wet new york garbage hold up wait wait i just realized this is wrong i'm perfection incarnate i may be the center of the universe now but i'm thinking about it yeah never mind my favorite form of redemption arc is i hate that i have morals now like i realized i was in the wrong and now i work hard to atone is good and all but how dare you infect me with morals will always be so much more entertaining the moment when the former baddie starts to walk away and some bad situation almost gets out and then just stops curses and turns around to go help delicious this one gets it how the [ __ ] has this site become so bearable this place was a [ __ ] show a few years ago but now it's actually good and not full of instant discourse the way facebook and twitter are everyone is just tired this site hasn't improved the rest of the world just crashed and burned so hard that this place looks like a haven in comparison if anyone had told me tumblr would be the most tolerable social media site in 2020 i would have called them crazy yet here we are go edie i do not intend to die anytime soon but just in case here's my will all my money goes to the dude at my funeral who tells the best story about me as voted by the other funeral attendees any genre is acceptable but paranormal erotica is highly encouraged and the runner-up gets my corpse oh man is it so hard to deliberately win second place which will you press create a ducks or remove ducks i'm pressing as hard as i get it is not [ __ ] working opie oh [ __ ] my university has these toilets and they're honestly ridiculous what is your gender obviously top hats walks up to these toilets and a bowler hat and red lipstick both of these toilets are for liza minnelli and no one else what if oxygen is poisonous just take 75 to 100 years to kill us my science teacher said he thinks that's true actually yeah this is pretty much exactly what is going on it's why antioxidants are such a big [ __ ] deal bonus fact oxygen oxidizes stuff in your cells or in other words it's not toxic it's just setting you on fire very very slowly sounds great because i know the plot of at least 15 different tv series without ever having seen an episode i don't know any plot lines i just know which characters are gay my sister has this toy cat and one of its phrases is if i had a crown i'd be queen baby you already a queen you don't need a crown so far the efforts to make an actual tesseract is going terribly agent todd lost an arm and may lose a leg and agent jefferson stared at it too long and is now blind i myself feel extremely energized even though my sleep schedule's horrid don't do this at home kids i'm gonna try this out do not make the forbidden ice cube oh my f king god i borrowed my friend's laptop and here's the desktop which is a little creepy but okay but did you know that you could set your desktop to change every now and then because i did it and i minimized my browser most of the ma scenes in the martian 2015 were actually filmed on earth oh the utter betrayal pokemon has tried to slowly convince us pikachu is always fluffy at eye for what except his future did you think the mouse was just smooth and had yellow skin like a little simpsons demon weird it's like they forgot how cartoons work if only classical music wasn't 15 minutes long for each piece and didn't have titles like piano concerto number two and e minor op 27 agilia olio pepperoccino waluigi yeah yeah i thought about this post every day for the past five years today i learned you are a thief and a murderer you have killed a baboon and stolen his face was a common insult in the 18th century listen when lifespans were lower you had so much less time to release all the hatred in your heart so you had to make each expression of loathing count new urban fantasy theory walmart hires vampires this explains why it's open 24 hours a day why working there is often described as soul sucking and why there's almost always no windows most damningly walmart is one of the few stores that specifically hire a greeter with no other job than to welcome every person into the store because vampires have to be invited in wake up america i have a deep respect for scotland because i was at an ireland versus scotland football match and their chant was we hate england more than you one time at a germany versus scotland game some german fans started the stand up if you hate england gent and the whole stadium stood up what did we do what didn't we do does this mean that england is the u.s of europe where do you think the u.s got it from me creating sienna you know what if i made someone always on the positive side you know the world's pretty [ __ ] so it's nice to have like someone or something to look to to make you feel better and a lot of optimal qualities and quirks that make people feel good too also me what if leg was big and blue and also hair that is just literally vaporwave there is always that one weak [ __ ] in the group that isn't down with murder for some reason i thought both of these were the same post and i sat for a while trying to figure out which ice cream face was the weak [ __ ] oh it's clearly iron man really is wow that sign language exists and is perfectly accessible and yet it's not a taught second language in school yeah you can use it underwater and in situations where you need to be silent and that's cool and everything but you can also use it to talk to deaf people which is more than enough reason already just let sign language be an option in schools apparently at some point when my now girlfriend and i were flirting with each other but not quite in a relationship she asked me how i felt about pet names to which i replied well you have to call them something the fact that i managed to end up in a relationship is really testament to my girlfriend's patience your girlfriend is a [ __ ] sexual opi please don't call my girlfriend a [ __ ] wait ha classic himbo why do people say don't be a [ __ ] when talking about weakness more like don't be a man's ego because you know there is nothing more fragile than that um because [ __ ] is the shortened form of a word pusillanimous which means timid and cowardly and not slang word for the female janitor region literally no one else knows this nobody what sensational remarkable hold up i gotta look this up pusillanimous don't even know if i said it right but it's a real word you [ __ ] me an intellectual personal animus forgot english i was watching a youtuber's video and i texted my friend to ask her if she'd seen a video by and my mind blanked on the words so i said the dude who looks real irish and his name's real irish and he makes voices sound like overwatch characters and [ __ ] person whose name i blanked on was patrick m seymour the voice director i was [ __ ] watching his moments when tumblr users forgot their words [Laughter] i hate taking off my glasses because my eyes go from 1080 hd to buffering at 240p and i just can't handle that i don't wear glasses but this post puts things in perspective more than anything else ever has i feel like walmart just still walls you know you just drive up to the place to see someone with some other friends in the car dragging away on the walls of walmart i have no idea what i'm saying at this point i just i just want to buy a wall warmer therapy expensive performing elaborate musical numbers to portray your tragic backstory to your arch nemesis who happens to be a platypus free what does the va at the end of your url stand for patrick um voice sector nah and that i prefer pmc more vibe amphibian oh yeah i forgot people wanted me to do this in irish so uh let's do it we detected signs of luigi in this galaxy what are the signs of luigi signs of luigi biscuit crumbs everywhere distant sobbing sounds and the sound of someone falling over in another room i love contrasting designs demons wearing white clothes angels wearing black clothes a demon so beautiful they're mistaken for an angel an angel soul monstrous they're mistaken for a demon and they can't kiss why did the word fandom come to be the common use it sounds dumb and the word fanbase already existed was it seriously just that nerves on the internet thought fanbase wasn't quite enough for something when did we even start using the word fandom phantom origin a meeting of fandom by eyeline entomology fandom meaning the realm of avid enthusiasts 1903 1903 i would bet actual money that this is arthur conan doyle's fault somehow last night i was driving home in the middle of a tornado warning with thunder and lightning all around me my car literally shaking in the wind bohemian raspberry blasting out one of my working speakers while wearing one shoe i realized that if this is how i die it's how i want to go thunderbots of lightning very very frightening bee paper has six sides yet we can only use two of them effectively and the other four are for bloodshed today i learned the tap water in new york city has microscopic crustaceans in it because of it it is considered not kosher non-vegan water baby finally non-vegan water this water's vegan bring me some meat water you punk clown how you treat furby will shape furby's personality there is something you should know about furby never treat your furby the wrong way furbies can be unpredictable are you ready to handle a furby why is there a [ __ ] death symbol do you think this is a game you can bet your bottom dollar on that i didn't know you guys had your own currency [ __ ] god damn it you know what absolutely boggles my mind that healthy people exist genuinely healthy people no mental illness no physical illness no chronic illness just healthy what a life that must be this [ __ ] with my head though they're like people who get up and feel awake and they just go and just do their adult responsibilities without feeling anxious or upset they just return phone calls answer calls for unknown numbers don't procrastinate doing important things until it's a huge problem that makes you cry that sounds fake as [ __ ] man has anyone ever told you you're beautiful oh no sir today is my first day out of doors and papa forbade mirrors in the house lest we all fall victim to vanity i felt laughing at this on a lot for two days straight you ever feel like you're not even the main character in your own life it's just filler episodes for character backstory don't worry it's still your show this is and i just think anyone has ever said to me what if all vowels were ace highly yes [Music] yes how the [ __ ] do you even do this one yes i'm watching it's like a whole new language and i think i'm onto something here that's not a new language that's a boston accent hey [ __ ] no it's not you get that [ __ ] we tried to convince the history teacher that taylor swift ended the cold war and he got so frustrated he just stared into the hallway for ten minutes i saw him in the hallway later and his eyes were like glazed over he was so tired and i felt really bad don't you might be right give your blaze a disintegration gun what it actually does is shoot people into the future and in the final session all the people they shot with it blink into existence around them at once op please change your url that sounds like an awesome final battle give me so with traffic lights go yield stop but on bananas it's the opposite hold on go ahead what i will never get sick of this what is it about what goodnight homo i mean homie yeah same thing friendship at its finest i think one of my favorite shark facts is this thing that some species of sharks do where they sort of peek their heads out of the water to see what's above the surface it's called spy hopping and great white sharks do it all the time look at this stupid little triangle nose do something with your life start yoga truly live in the moment meet your special someone have five kids at age 20 find out your partner's cheating on you with your boss have a breakdown finally lose your grip on reality then one day after brunch drive off into the forest never to be seen again sound advice karen yeah if water is so smart how did it end up getting trapped in the bottle stupid idiot liquid getting owned yo anyone here want to pay thirty thousand dollars for evan's shitty couches evans be out there like chaotic neutral surf ride bench set how how the [ __ ] do you rest in those this is it this is what true temptation looks like for one low price you too can be banned from walmarts team of people and there's one girl is literally the worst trope and i'm tired of it team of people and there's one girl and when there's another girl the first girl hates her for no reason is the second worst trope and i'm tired of it who is she i die every time i see this post because everyone thinks it's a cat but it's a fursuit i've i've been bamboozled you thought i could learn to trust after bna but no never again writing prompt sloths aren't lazy they're just saving their energy and today that energy is released this is single-handedly the scariest [ __ ] post on this hell site what the [ __ ] the fact that dante created the most popular image of the afterlife with absolutely no theological basis for it will still be the funniest [ __ ] thing to me church having his eternal connection with god while hell is total separation from him anything else is only speculation actually hell has like layers like an onion and the devil's big and mean and also frozen people are fighting and there's a mountain to get to heaven and a nice place for babies also i know this because i went there with my friend yeah just saying the time stamp says 2017 but every fiber of my being is saying 2003. i agree borb bird orb yo birdor hey is the builder baron blaze supposed to force us to jump up and down or are we getting hazed as a building bear employee it is my honor to happily inform you that we get to make everyone do whatever the [ __ ] we want during a heart ceremony jump to get that heart beating rub that heart to your knees so the furry friend always needs you rub it to your toe so it's totally awesome shake it up so it's got enough energy to hang out with you all day close your eyes make a wish and give it a kiss you help us [ __ ] look reanimation is a process okay reanimation is a process as a sentence that just makes me want to play an echo monster as a very deadpan build-a-bear employee country gnomes take my bones to a place they don't belong see [ __ ] like this is the reason that it's so hard to turn my back on this website where else pray tell are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense west virginia

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 605,311

Rating: 4.9648175 out of 5

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: Rh7JIqA_crg

Length: 22min 46sec (1366 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020