It Came From Tumblr #68 | Binge Compilation

[Music] but Lee sun-hee by one time I got a sample from the t store at the mall and as I walked away the guy said to her later and then his coworker smacked him was was he wearing a blue polo shirt and glasses by any chance and was the co-worker that smacked him wearing Italian glasses I had a dream last night that they made a new Bond movie but they didn't say who was playing bond throughout the movie you had no idea which character is really blonde because he's undercover doll and every single character no matter how minor was played by somebody famous so they could all conceivably be bond and at the end it turns out bond was Leslie Jones take my money if people are really going to assume that guys with long hair are gay and girls with short hair are lesbians that I'm going to assume that all bald men are actually Eagles I knew it something about my dad just wasn't adding up Sacco was the only kid in that show with social skills and a brain and he effortlessly charmed every single person he met especially royalty no matter the age or nation this is why the writers had to nerf him and make him a non-bender cuz if he could have been anything the show would have been called Sokka and his good pal the avatar and its main conflicts would all have been resolved by the third episode tops I would actually love to watch that show would you like a tall glass of juice that makes you stop a crass donating yeah just leave it on the table for me I'll get some in a minute why are mad scientists always associated with chemistry like a dude hysterically laughing because his test tube turned purple what about psychologists or anonymous or just plain doctors in the good old 19th century if you know anything about their history you know they're the mad ones if anyone has the capacity to turn mad its mathematicians just nobody notices because it's pretty hard to turn that into super villainy okay by evil math nerd who uses math for evil is something see DIY culture I made it myself for free free equals three hours profanity in four languages one smash thumb and three milliliters of blood and fifty dollars or euros or pounds you're pretending cost you nothing because you got them so long ago you moved house with them four times Wow and here I thought how our culture was dead there is no lie here still cheaper than therapy when you die and you become a ghost are you forced to wear what you were wearing when you died for eternity or can you go to like ghost gap and buy some new ghosts clothes if there's ghost capitalism I swear to [ __ ] I'll be so mad overthrow the booze was a behold Harry Potter the Chamber of Secrets a so much how does Mike was that was a was a saw was all ski keep stuff out of his eye he doesn't even have eyelashes your ancestry dot science results are in one percent blessed sasquatch bloodline two percent cryo Etruscan five percent Florida six percent forsaken sasquatch bloodline seven percent Scientologist 10 percent Wizards apprentice 19 percent French and 50 percent white serious condolences I don't know man that 10 percent Wizards you're praying sounds pretty [ __ ] low right now what is Shira I'm sorry if this is a stupid question or something I'm just super confused and we don't have Netflix soldier discovers magic sword and fights with the power of gay I love it foolish indeed foolish your fallen victim to the old razzle dazzle oh [ __ ] elves Rio neither just give me a dead body you don't figure it out from there I feel I should clarify I am a mortuary science major okay one time my dad gave me a glass of milk and I meant to ask him whose milk is this because I wasn't sure if it was for me or if I was supposed to give it to my brother but instead I just stared down at the belkin said what was this and my dad turned to me without missing a beat and said well that's a dear friend mr. milk and we just stared each other and then he asked me if I was high to this day I still have not lived it down at all politicians you know teenagers shouldn't vote because the part of their brain that deals with prioritizing long-term goals over immediate satisfaction isn't fully developed teenagers can you please destroying the planet dull politicians but the planet won't be unlivable for decades and I want oil money now writing prompt you realized you missed heard your daughter there's actually a mobster under your bed hey by the big bada boom I'm sleeping here there's nothing like hey baby what's the big idea apparent looking around the room voice from under bed forget about him [ __ ] sleeping here why you go do you want kick me out his bed how [ __ ] dicks to Oh hands you know p.m. in your last video with the D mastered art going in you had the chance to say the horn say delight but the eyes say delete and you missed it crystals for banishing someone any of them if you throw him hard enough it was right here here's mile banishing rack probably bad RPG ideas D&D but the DM has a soundboard that contains the left cheers & boos of a sitcoms live studio audience Opie changer URL oh my god shiny Reshiram should have been black and shiny is that grime sort of been whites oh no this is what I'm talking about look at that that's so much better look at our ass biscuits oh so they're bones oh my god today I learned the temperature and Fahrenheit can be approximated by counting the number of times a cricket chirps in 14 seconds and adding 40 this fact alone makes Fahrenheit better than Celsius does it go Full Metal Alchemist alternative universe where everything's the same except Edie makes up stupid stories as to why he lost his Armand like and their different stories every time someone asks examples I got attacked by a shark I stubbed my toe and decided I didn't want anymore I went through a steam punk face Schieber vicious when they're hungry squirrels you have an auto mail arm and like you you've committed the old did you know horses are omnivorous you think that they just eat grass and weeds but that's what they want you to think team rocket's the ultimate symbol of solidarity between a gay man and a lesbian what in God's name is Meowth wearing it's called fashion you [ __ ] Oh time sure flies when you're when you you just this is how executive dysfunction feels goat what motivates you to do anything you do an overwhelming compulsion to poke life or the metaphoric stick just to see what the [ __ ] will happen that's it that's our mode that's a mode your path seems to mirror your father's link as a dad who is he long illusion of ronk dad's adventure okay but seriously link as a dad is he also a link is he one of the legs I need these answers today I learned that at 1847 a doctor performed an amputation 25 seconds operating so quickly that he accidentally amputated his assistants fingers as well both later died of sepsis and a spectator reportedly died of shock resulting in the only known procedure with a 300 percent mortality rate nice to obey it surgery saga 1847 malpractice ending speed run 25 seconds stop scrolling bet you've never seen a baby - can the Blessed - can after can one can okay but seriously if that's baby's hands down this is my favorite picture ever the ancient cry has been answered can has this made me [ __ ] angry I have to inflict it on all of you wait what's the punchline here wait it's not that one a different one one that didn't come with this submission but anyway regarding the last post that's not here the article mentions the same places use clams attest the toxicity of the water it's like that in Warsaw we get our water from the river and the main water pump has 8 clams that have triggers attached to their shells if the water gets too toxic they close and the trigger shuts off the city water supply automatically the Klan's are just better at measuring water quality than any man-made sensors god bless our troops they hot glue to spring to a clam and gave it full control over the water supply you know Warsaw things ok so I noticed this last night and it's the most adorable thing first picture is what you see in game you never really see the underbelly of your Pokemon but Aaron's tiny smile is the cutest thing look at that babies oh yes the 5 love languages touch starved my parents ever told me they're proud of me I love stuff I'm so [ __ ] tired please just let me arrest for five minutes and hey pay attention to me all of these a cat we could shorten big mood to be mood but you all aren't ready food I'll [ __ ] it was I who was not ready today I learned plants make caffeine to defend themself against pests caffeine is toxic to birds dogs cats and it has a pronounced adverse effect on mosques various insects and spiders coffee plant involves caffeine safe it lasts humans peppers now that I have capsaicin no mammal will eat me only birds the birds will spread my seeds humans oh my this birds so good wait why are we like this the fact that we can't drink seawater even though it's the most common type of water just because it's 3 percent salt yet we can safely consume multiple forms of literal poison and even benefit from doing so just blows my [ __ ] mind tobacco finally I can grow in peace no more insects munching on my leaves humans holding matches my my what do we have here poppies at last I have evolved my staff to the point where anything that eats me will sleep forever humans who are about to invent painkillers hey guess what mint stay off me bugs are our poison you humans yeah I'm just gonna put this poison in my dessert and mix it with chocolate God don't wonder why aliens don't want to hang out with us p.m. I'm begging you to make an OC with a dad bod I am begging you please I need to see the damn pot OC oh you the town motto city heroic of the movies wants to know who Batman is but they never know how he he's a grown man dressed as a bat they know I swear these were ghosts written by Bruce and Alfred in that order today in school I was walking down the hallway to go to the bathroom and some dude walked out of a classroom and tripped me by accident and I was thinking about Thor too so I just blurted out how dare you attack the son of Odin and he just looked at me and looked down at his shirt and it was an Avengers shirt I think I just made a friend guys I ship it today I learned human babies are 80% water at birth a slightly higher water content than bananas and slightly less than fresh potatoes Oh once again shown up by the power and dignity of the root vegetable low noises when you have sensory processing issues it's like Russian roulette maybe nothing will happen maybe you'll spend the next hour sitting in the corner it's a toss-up explain you elders blob sometimes a loud noise breaks the goat sometimes a loud noise breaks anybody systems for the next 30 minutes or so door banks nothing loud beep spins next 30 minutes sobbing uncontrollably notes I just found out moose can dive as deep as 20 feet or 6 meters for you people that's out of the u.s. for aquatic vegetation can you imagine like being a diver and you're 20 feet or 6 meters underwater it's murky and you run into a moose a moose this is by the way one of the reasons that a regular predator of the Moose is the orca whale I'm sorry this is by the way one of the reasons that a regular predator of the Moose is the Orca well what today I learn despite its association with the supernatural a full moon rarely occurs on Halloween the next time this will happen is Halloween night of 2020 guys 2020 might get good it's gonna be spookier times time to gaze into the abyss yeah this is what I call my inbox wait oh no Jesus help me today is today I learned in 2002 a researcher found that the average eight-year-old British child could identify 80% of Pokemon but only 50% of common wildlife species well common wildlife species don't normally other names at you wouldn't that be great though you're just going outside going on a nice walk and suddenly here squirrel squirrel squirrel squirrel writing prompt you a time traveler accidentally introduced 21st century slang to Shakespeare for never was a story of more woe Oh bard Alexa play us esposito Animal Crossing villagers be like you're my bestest friend at a whole world thank you for being so awesome here's a present for you then the president is an eight thousand seven hundred fifty watt gas-powered generator yeah I'm crossing things human doing this other god sakes help bees are not by chicken nuggets her right meat wrapped and bread you know I was having a good day I think we were all having a great day until this standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel a week like this [ __ ] flower this flower is taller than me this flower winning and I'm losing Wow you are not ready to hear about trees open up hey hey I got some seven large cokes and a barbecue sauce it's perhaps the okay I guess I said sulking my amber hewed orbs peering down because of gravity okay I hand you seven large cokes the Pepsi oh [ __ ] that gets me every time I love it childish gambino concert was cancelled there goes my weekend plans you know Bucky you could barf you know [ __ ] what I could WTF is an acronym this post pisses me off I still can't decided this is a statement question time to call Otto's moist boys no please do not call him that well he is a very moist boy he even looks offended at you calling him a moist boy I have a concept thigh-high crocks concept no two lights I have made them I feel like if you put those on there just part of you forever cuz of the suction turns out Marko didn't really die he actually skipped town in the heat of battle and achieved the secret dream of opening up a pizzeria two minutes away from my house so um I was once again having a great day until this where on earth is anyone invented a less terrifying way to open biscuits and cinnamon rolls because screw showing that much biscuit into that little space teeters on the edge of hubris the pop is to keep us humble to remind us that death comes for all yeah I just want some [ __ ] Crysis Jesus and finally writing prompt right yeah persona games usually consist of the Chad the idiot the dumb one with common sense the intelligent one the loud one the quiet one and the mascot usually most of them fall into these categories and proceeded to give hygiene such as in persona for when your ski stated his need to be in the most eloquent way possible all of this to say persona 5 is real good and the characters are ripe for hijinks and also persona 5 added a new party member the adult aka the only responsible party member concept serious convinces the marauders to do a family portrait in their anime just forms except for Ramos obviously so Ramos is the one human who has to go into the photographer and ask for the picture Ramos is a mixture of embarrassed exasperated and amused hello yes I'd like to take a picture with my pets and this photographer is just astounded that Ramos has these very manageable and obedient pets and in all fairness it's a very good picture I just want Harry Potter to resurface again to give me this photo I'm sure there's drawings but I want an actual photo of the actor of Ramos and a bunch of animals just doing this day 77 no one suspects a thing you know I was so focused on the dog sitting patiently in the back that I didn't even realize wait when you talk about I don't see anything marvel is my 10 minute video of Thor teaching Earth etiquette to the Asgardians this is a dog no you cannot ride it it's too small aperture laboratories dihydrogen monoxide containment unit may cause diaphoresis micturition an acute tissue hydration make us sweating peeing an adequate hydration so water bottle why imagine a rats using an air pod as a cane imagine that well no I'm thinking about it I drew it I took a photo the number 87 kind of looks like a plague doctor oh you just changed the [ __ ] game mm-hmm you ever have to shake your leg because there's a rock in it uh that's your bones Wow everyday I learned some more a young artist exhibits his work for the first time in a well-known art critic is in the attendance the critic says to the young artist would you like my opinion of your work yes says the artist it's worthless says the critic the artist replies I know but tell me anyway Oh Oh God me falling asleep to an audio book on the science of the gut book saliva is actually filtered blood arm saliva also contains a painkiller that is stronger than morphine but we don't produce it a lot otherwise we'd be constantly hi I'm sure what is or pure Finn is six times stronger than morphine it actually contains an antidepressant compound which is why some doctors believe it's linked to comfort eating okay everyone spit on me so I won't be depressed no an 80s sitcom with a laugh track but the laugh track comes from behind you thanks how do I install it you don't installs you postcards are the hanging is now deactivated I warned you the laugh track plays but now one voice louder can we make a creepypasta in this place what would be your effect as a mud potion be with sticks and cool rocks and leaves a course and any good mode potion has Venom symbiote but no actual powers I just cling to your back in a whisper shitposts into your ear when you try to concentrate on a test I keep screaming wrong answers it 41 five minutes ago they were chasing the laser I believe you killed her cats with a laser you [ __ ] monster Jasper is making the weirdest [ __ ] noise he sounds like an angry garbage disposal um excuse me Rebecca sugar herself said all the gems use female pronouns just a note just a fun fact Jasper is my cat aesthetic the three-headed rat queen from the Russian Nutcracker movie and a three-headed rat son oh don't ever talk to me or me or me or my son or my son or my son again fresh out of the water newborn sea lion pups roll in sand to protect themselves from the Blazing Sun and Sun Cristobal Galapagos Islands a little sugar cookies oh do Japanese people prefer dubbed American cartoons aguado siddhis neon ji pyar ki boom karate we've come full circle for in fact apparently there is a serious toupee in Japan as to whether the king the hill sub or dub is better you know this is something I never knew I was waiting my whole life to read you know what screw death I know it's so sexy Oh spike be harder Grim Reaper daddy this is so cursed I bet even p.m. Seema won't even touch it Oh PMZ more someone said him and asked or something I don't know hey if God wishes it so bought on a scale of 1 to nature valley granola bar how much is your life falling apart birthday party shut up okay this made me really freaking sad okay cutie look support baby I don't even know this snake and I feel guilty for not being there see this is stuff out of my worst fears you've heard of bread ball now get ready for bread plate tortilla booked there is a vast amount of vampire lore globally exploit the fact no one is gonna look it all up to make the vampire masquerade LARPers look stupid yeah if you're a boy you have to scream every fifth word and slap yourself in the face every time you see yellow it's from medieval German lore to think today in 113th century version of the King Arthur myth Merlin is the spawn of daemon and a mortal woman and was intended by Satan to be the Antichrist but was baptized by a priest shortly after birth which nullified Satan's plan and now uses his demonic powers of magic and prophecy for good Satan losing since 33 AD ah the Hellboy prototype I can win cat settle down it looks like they don't have any limbs no they're slugs and if you ever wondered what they look like from underneath when doing that hmm this is important motor romantic but I do find it pretty great when couples share charges so much that they lose track of whose was originally whose that's adorable but if anyone so much touches my six-foot-long charger with intentions other than pass it to me they will be dead so romantic when you are president what will you do to better our country two words more coal mines are those for ohm about your right me at 3 a.m. I should probably get some sleep my brain guys fries it's relatable we're thinking that Kirby is that Nintendo could make a game about anything with Kirby in it I still wouldn't be mad Kirby is just good like there was a game about Kirby doing his taxes I would play it and even if it's bad because how could you be mad at Kirby look at him Kirby doing his taxes ready for everyone dodge those taxes but don't this seems obvious but there's a lot of blogs that are just one nuber not-safe-for-work pictures of hot men alongside two cute dog pics I don't know what to call this niche somebody somebody come up with a pun hmm ah cocker spaniel there it is a moment of silence for the cocker spaniel blogs you will be missed ok if ring-around-the-rosy is the nursery rhyme about the bubonic plague then I say we got to work on a cove in 1903 rhyme for kids to creepily sing for generations to come we would call it 6 feet from Grandma's house on the surface it's about visiting grandma but you know daddy's at the food store mommy's out of town she's working at the hospital since Rona came to town hide away hide away miss ron has come the town hide away hide away shall come the takis town miss Rona's at the doorstep a kid seeks feet away but grandma needs the paper i'll take or some today hide away hide away miss Rowan has come to stay hide away hide away I'll keep seeks feet away but grandma needs the paper I'll take her some today and here's our note from Rana she wanted me to say hide away hide away keeps six feet away hide away hide away she's brought us down today he else is feeling morbid today oh yeah they're called restaurants because they were story to full health borough five out of ten pun but they write look early 19th century from French provide food for literally restored a former state intentional misspellings and unusual handling of words is one of my favorite minor memes to be honest I love it so much here are some of my all-time favorites replacing CK with CC in example suck and replacing T with D and vice versa in example goddamn [ __ ] blockhead just every kind of weird variation you could do with the word [ __ ] in example the [ __ ] hang or lucky we're jumbling of curse words that somewhat resemble something go hearing an example [ __ ] [ __ ] and shut the hell your mouth replacing a vowel in a word with another example Boyka what why have you analyzed this I don't really remember the exact mindset I was in when I wrote this but it was probably something like thanks to duolingo I can ask people if they are horse but I can't tell people what my name is in French ask me I'm a [ __ ] horse I dare you to assign Shiva neigh oh you [ __ ] here's a short list of how Ben and Jerry are actually the same person easily flustered / startled married to hot blonde their lives are amazing and too good for them have three children actual human disasters and bisexual I did not realize this was about the men from Parks and Rec I thought you were talking about the ice-cream man hey why it's a good reliable car but it curls into a ball when startled - watch out this baby can [Applause]

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 783,610

Rating: 4.9705696 out of 5

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: 6QIvPMMA9yU

Length: 26min 26sec (1586 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 25 2020