It Came From Tumblr #85 | Binge Compilation

[Music] [Laughter] [Music] sorry about the 24 hour challenge let you all down on that one bye pizza place at my university offers a stoner pie complete with pepperoni bacon extra cheese mozzarella sticks and french fries god that sounds so awful give me like five ew you had a missed opportunity to say oo giowo you stopped that it's time boo eyes why do i go in well you will activate my trap card stop if you can't handle me at my worst just remember that i handle me at my worst and that makes me stronger than you oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful i haven't even thought of it like this oh my child is fine your child is still running their tumbler blog from middle school they're not fine how many swords do you have sort of a lot blocked ha ha buried today i learned that sea monsters on old maps meant dangerous waters and what do dangerous waters have sea monsters stay out of the ocean today i learned that doom 3 is so so so so so so scary i cannot play it because the little evil demons attacked me and cause so much mental distress same hey change your last name you ain't even gay neil gaiman i'll get right on that this is the funniest post on this site you don't understand everyone go home nothing is ever going to be funnier than actual neil gaiman on tumblr.com answering this ask time bending monster storm sends air swirling between 2020 and 2021. glad to see the weather network started drinking early tonight they mean the storm crosses the international date line and not like we're actually about to be swallowed by a temporal anomaly that will perpetually trap us all in eternal 2020. just in case you thought the latter seemed in character for the year it kinda feels like it did though a b a b a signed born at birth assigned a baby at birth all babies are bastards so for 2021 can we mix modernist language shakespearean dialogue i'm all for it but could you please give me an example all that is gold does not slap a rose by any other name would smell his pockets you'll never be bioluminescent okay this one hurt look the only live-action disney remake i want is the emperor's new groove and i want there to be no cgi i want cusco to be played by two actors in a cheap llama costume did you mean scp-1545 can we also still have patrick warburton as cronk can we do that please don't forget public execution prom night i'm bringing salsa this is probably really specific but like does anyone else ever get like unbearably embarrassed about searching for content for something they're really invested in and intentionally makes things harder for yourself by trying to find it without actually searching or asking for it directly so you don't have to acknowledge to yourself that you want to see it or is it just me yeah when i was younger i didn't understand why may you live in interesting times was considered a curse in ancient greece i got it now southerner i'm cold northerner you think this is cold because relative to your usual experience it is let me make you hot chocolate ah the warm northerner northerner man it's hot southerner boy howdy if you think this is hot then you should probably go get some water wouldn't want you to dehydrate or get heat stroke no siree here i got one drink up partner uh wholesome regional differences did eduardo ever stop to think that maybe he couldn't hear bella's thoughts because she didn't have any damn twitter was [ __ ] brutal today i'm just imagining edward trying to read bella's thoughts and hearing the dial-up noise bella can you hear me [Applause] you have the background character in this psych ward and i'm the main character who your love interest secretly desires we are not the same lucy from peanuts versus goku on one hand goku could obliterate any child on the other he would absolutely fall for the football thing yeah well why do you want to be a comedian the freestool with a glass of water on it if i'm ever going to have a kid i'm gonna make a gender reveal party where there is a covered screen and after uncovering it it says why do you care about baby's genitals and then have a normal party after that good stuff help my eyelids are burning what did you do nothing you see too much you've had enough prolonged eye contact prolonged eye contact why in deathly hallows did they have everyone polyjuiced themselves into hairy when harry could have just polyjuiced into a muggle and have been driven to safety away from the threat of death eaters who don't know how to work things at the muggle world who came up with these plans anyway dumbledore making my way downtown slowly uh my medieval servant boy has gone missing i'll just use google to see if i can find him the page cannot be found oh bother i am deleting this [ __ ] website i love north america but europe is my favorite condiment the history the culture the australian accent i love it what reblog if europe's your favorite consonant also consonants are letters did you know europe is the only constipated besides the atlantic ocean i'm making it worse did you know europe is the only constipated beside the atlantis ocean follow for more geometry i am in pain well i love that country but i can't speak spanish stop who the [ __ ] do people just stay motivated for their entire lives like what drives you i got out of bed once and i've been exhausted ever since you need to learn to hate life to the point where you want to get revenge on existence itself that's the best advice ever me i'm emotional also me blocks myself that's it i've had it replace the makeup industry with wearing medieval capes do it now oh this gives me odd ideas i'm sure someone has already said this but i often see tumblr described as a hell site this is fundamentally incorrect tumblr is the face site everybody is super confused and lost you keep running into random places somehow you end up stuck there forever after interacting a couple of times the people are all strange everybody simultaneously seems to be from the future and the past as if time is meaningless well [ __ ] hey look how dr doofenshmirtz had a [ __ ] up childhood but didn't project his trauma onto his daughter he's projecting it onto a platypus okay but seriously the platypus is clearly a sign to help him work through his issues perry actively lets doof talk about instances that left him hurt and scared and then he gets defeated thus allowing that issue to come to a close routine addressing and he never tries anything about that issue again shaking my head perry is clearly an active form of therapy so one might say he is nah parry the emotional support platypus actually you know what [ __ ] this [ __ ] you unhammer's your war oh please you can't just i'm the emperor what have you done don't touch me unless your skin is made from gucci hey which country has the most birds portuguese wait that's a language portugal nice recovery don't you mean a nice recovery turkey how did we miss turkey sometimes having mental illness is like living paycheck to paycheck but with your brain yeah i just tried watermelon on pizza honestly it was pretty good that's him officer that's the guy right there take this shot before he gets away shout out to spider-man ps4 for having one of the best fake social media feeds a more accurate portrayal on how this generation acts than the entirety of life is strange i thought this was a real post for a minute waiter how did you find your meal sir me yeah it was nice that's not what i meant and you know it another waiter told me where you hit it this is cracking me more than i think it should have snob can you love me when i can't love myself when now right now come here get your snubs knuckles texas confession i've never seen snow aisle rail i just posted this and it snowed like two inches a week later for the first time in like 35 years what the [ __ ] texas confession i've never had a million dollars is it happy impeachment or merry impeachment i don't want to offend anyone treason's greetings impeach navidad prospero hanlo when we eat the cat so i was playing minecraft and trying to build a house and i've forgotten i had a nicholas cage texture pack and it started raining and i [ __ ] screamed what why is that a thing i work at a bookstore and a few weeks ago a little black boy came in wearing a spider-man shirt i asked him who his favorite spider-man was and he replied peter parker i told him mine was miles and he didn't know who miles was so i took him to see the cover of a book with miles on it i watched a look of confusion come over his face he looked up at me and said but he's black and i said yeah spider-man's black in these comics his eyes got big and he grabbed the comics from my hands before running off yelling mom mom spiderman looks like me spiderman looks like me oh stop it's your wholesome nonsense i've been waiting for this year for this year is the year of the ox hence the artist will illustrate the bovine femme and their creations wearing hull store garments it's chinese new urine people are drawing cowboys and girls nice when i'm on a stream will jaywalking commit tax fraud i support her i'm thinking about immortality and how meticulously you have to keep track of all your [ __ ] so some nosy historian didn't spot your old journal or code or copy of a book and call an infuriating time based finders keepers it's 200 years old they say it's essentially a public property they say it's a letter you sent to your friend and it's a museum now and you're screaming let's abolish all clocks the concept of time itself leave by sunlight primal instincts and internal clocks only when's the next bus getting here it's a surprise that's no different from how buses already operate yes i am eating a subway sandwich for breakfast yes ladies calm down i can share if you'd like the ladies are 300 rats to follow me around they're all ladies that seems statistically improbable i'm a feminist oh [ __ ] that's what i opened youtube for chickenless bonewing this cat's face contains emotions that i cannot begin to describe but at the same time i have a deep understanding of holding in a deep sigh of vague anxiety and heartache as well as tiredness on a cosmic level knowing then releasing it won't help stop don't care i didn't ask plus your pessimistic outlook on life is exhausting we all die love is pointless it's never gonna get better yeah okay [ __ ] maybe i don't care though i'm still gonna love with my entire heart and live every day like it's my last cool post but i have depression so do i man none excuse to bring other people down so [ __ ] you hey what is he the stupidest thing that made me laugh today i am decayed my lungs are full of thorns and mildew my bones are held together by vines i am fragile be gentle with my corpse get out of bed you're going to school whether you like it or not i refuse either i never get to the scene that i'm desperate to write or i'm actually going to get to the scene and can't write it because i've hyped it up and perfected it so hard in my mind that i'll never be able to capture it in the words yeah hey those flash canadiens hockey isn't your national sport it's lacrosse so shut the hell up about it being your sport when's your national sport america war city you know what's wild your body like you know the one you're existing as your mind prison it's not a holy independent entity it's an ecosystem you're a bog that's self-aware imagine if a swamp could telepathically communicate a desire for chicago-style deep dish and then just have it no wonder why my stomach hates me the fish are confused as [ __ ] so i was trying to log into my old email account i couldn't remember the password so my security question that i set up for myself two years ago pops up and it is why like why dick move i don't know the [ __ ] answer why why what me what are you trying to ask me you little [ __ ] so in a fitter range i type in because [ __ ] you that's why ding password reset it used to be that super mario games could clearly be divided into games in which mario is the furry and games in which mario is not a furry but then super mario odyssey had to come along and muddy the waters and now we gotta argue about whether possessing funny cartoon animals is the same as dressing up as one i'm sorry we gotta argue about it of course we do how else we gonna know whether the rule that the games or mario is a furry are better than the games where mario is not a furry continued soldier i suspect you could go at this from a different angle the fact that mario odyssey is good means that it is a mario as a furry game and thus possessing cartoon animals is functionally identical to dressing up as them this is some crazy [ __ ] we're thinking about here okay but do the mario swing your arms from side to side lyric is talking about the floss how many times are going to have this conversation as long as i live and breathe no homo why not we're out of stock we're expecting another shipment about a week in the meantime enjoy our other products such as bananas pancakes aromatics ace case and our gender line transpans non-binary code and gender fluid drinks thank you for shopping at queer for you y'all had absolutely no business making most [ __ ] posts that's [ __ ] funny i like villains who are just like evil for the attention villains were like i can't stop being evil whenever i want i'm only holding the city ransom to get my own wikipedia page i'm sorry did you mean eating chips with chopsticks is unironically galaxy brain your fingers don't get greasy and it lasts for longer fork oh yeah i'm going to stab my crunchy foods and make them fall apart like an absolute absentminded dunceful clown jester like a monstrous [ __ ] an idiot of shakespearean proportions a creighton they probably also thought you meant like chips as in like british ships which are fries but okay hey we should just start writing our text posts like youtubers what's up gamers i got a pretty awesome post for you today i think you're going to like it a lot so let's get right to it shall we i want to die all right that's all for today guys please give me a like leave a reblog and don't forget to smash that follow button i'll see you in the next post bye-bye you know what [ __ ] this i'm panicking disco and y'all don't test me i will unchemical your romance too yeah well [ __ ] you too i won't give a [ __ ] i don't know unhealthier sienna like that would what did you do vaporwave sounds like what drowning in a mall fountain would feel like that's exactly what it is i've never felt more offended but more in agreement with anything in my entire life welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous i'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and i just have to say i'm really disappointed do british people really eat beans on toast as a meal in america is everyone ignorant it was just a question damn no need to get a hostile go eat some beans on toast i am 41 cheetos tall why did you think you need to measure yourself from cheetos we were out of doritos y'all mentioned dice laundry pods bath bombs but you're forgetting about the most chewy thing of all ds styluses ah the forbidden pockys what is happening enough pogchamp this an epic gamer that stop it with this modern slang i say we bring back phrases like the bee's knees and geez louise and applesauce bring back the superior slang i boom a calm down quite sure that kiwi is a fruit and not an accent i thought it was bird thought it was shoe polish what the [ __ ] are you two talking about they call me seven knives because that's how many knives it takes me to cook things because i keep putting them in the [ __ ] sink without thinking about it nice to meet ya does anyone actually know what they're doing are we all just hopelessly wandering because at this point that's what it feels like for me my sanity at this point is questionable but hey at least i can make a pretty good grilled cheese i think if you wanted to eat white chocolate you could just eat candle wax instead and not even notice the difference you're just mad i'm eating this delicious white chocolate and you're not my god this isn't white chocolate i like wearing oversized sweaters not because they're extremely comfy and cuddly but because whenever the sleeves are really big i get to flop them around and smack people i love sleep smacking people like flippity flop you need to stop whippity whip don't talk crap all right that's it might get hate for this but it needs to be said liking a conventionally pretty especially anime-esque person with horns or pointy teeth slapped on them doesn't make you a monster [ __ ] that isn't a monster it's a halloween costume scales entails with a not entirely human face are a bare minimum requirement for monster [ __ ] baits and your five dollar gotcha waifu isn't thick good edition you're right and you should say it sometimes i miss gender myself and it's so funny because it's like bro what the hell you're supposed to be on my side the betrayal not to sound like a goth elitist but if you haven't died you're a poser well then jesus is goth i don't make the rules the original goth so now i'm i'm sorry but picks you up and put you in a backpack this is mine now help i'm big mo me i don't i don't need this my monkey brain steal sword steal sword steal sword steal sword my new favorite pastime watching act interviews and pretending that it's the characters pretending to be actors playing themselves so when somehow on leaked stuff it's peter parker slipping up have you seen him attempt to keep a secret of course it is gas stations are like land light houses i it's too early for this thinking about my 200 different embarrassing and completely self-indulgent daydream universes that i've actually taken time out of the day to create content for and i've never shared with anyone because they're that embarrassing but not being able to stop because they're one of the few things that bring me genuine joy yeah pucky why are you like this cuz pokemon gave me satanic powers early 2000's parents were right writing prompt you live in a world where pictures are always in color until the person photographed dies while looking through your grandparents closet you find a picture dated back to 1826 the picture hasn't faded to black and white you realize there's a turtle in the background and carry on with your day god damn it i hate it when i time travel and when i come back and my soup is cold you know travel back in time so it's warm again idiot this combat left by the cane irresponsible time travel gain oh you you insolent little worm you come into my blog and you dare to call me an idiot you obviously do not understand the intricate magics behind time traveling nor the complexity of soup thermodynamics you are but an ignorant fool amazon introduces the soundproof home learning dome okay but can we talk about the bucket with the toilet paper next to it the math is also wrong well i'd be doing the math wrong too if i was stuck in a bubble running out of oxygen you get oxygen when you solve the equation wow i can't believe you're like villains you know they've killed people right yeah and it was funny and sexy what's your point i love myself but i don't love me back i have never related to anything so [ __ ] hard so january's almost over huh [ __ ] what's next february give me a break guys are kingdom hearts characters disney canon or disney characters kingdom hearts canon like seriously the [ __ ] up with that but more importantly are kingdom hearts characters and disney characters can into final fantasy me okay i will not make this drawing hyper-saturated this time

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 378,750

Rating: 4.967752 out of 5

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, comedy, reading, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, editing, not for kids

Id: q8GsXlYjqjU

Length: 20min 47sec (1247 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 30 2021