It Came From Tumblr #27 [Binge Compilation]

get ready for bears compilation okay bye hey you want to hear a sentence that you either have no idea what it means or you'll hate me for making me remind you of it draw a circle that's the earth my god what have you done really excited to go up to the mountain lose my dad to sacrifice a lamb looks like you forgot to bring the sacrifice but I'll just happen to take a walk with him hey Opie any updates hey Opie Master poster fish names hi really like delta smelt oops sweet lip emperor wahoo and slippery dick well I could say it's a fish heart reflection Kingfisher Jesus I thought those were its legs making my way downtown honestly the concept of doppelgangers is scary but if I saw myself I probably wouldn't be that terrified like I know she can't run for more than three minutes straight I know she can't do basic maths she's not gonna do anything she doesn't even know a date is self-depreciating humor at its finest get yourself some ham belper herder I'm high and this killed me dude this knocked me back into a high just to kill me reblog if your URL represents who you really are I am really Putin's girlfriend then we have a problem I can explain it when I was 12 my sister told me that Greek people went extinct and that's why we learned about Greek mythology in school and I was like but there's a Greek boy in my class and she told me that he didn't exist she's not wrong okay fun fact Lord panic is actually from the Greek Greek the word panic is actually from the Greek word panic O's which is referring to the Greek god Pan who apparently shouted people who are alone in the woods and freak them out oh snap those are career goals don't look at me in that tone of voice what biology tells you you're 70% water chemistry tells you you're 60% oxygen physics tells you you're ninety nine point nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine nine percent empty space and I tell you you're 100% cutie dad is lame okay but what if homie we went over this like a hundred times yesterday and we totally resolved it yeah but I like looked at it from a new angle and there's like 20 more reasons why you should be worried about it go on Big Bang Theory is awful for obvious reasons but honestly shout out to them for inventing bazinga so I have a word I can drop to any conversation for a one-hit-kill bazinga and every pony are the closest we'll ever get to real dragon shouts curve listen to your mind Dovahkiin a whoa every pony bazinga now shouts reminder that my roommate once painted Alexander Hamilton as ham well now I'm just sitting here imagining helpless but she's holding ham Hamilton the entire time total drama was way ahead of its time it really was okay campers I heard from an anonymous source that somebody told the government we're going to storm area 51 not cool dudes paladin when you're kind of feeling cleric but also want to stab sorcerer we want to be a caster but you don't want to be a nerd bard when you've never made a decision in your life and you don't intend to start now warlock when you're not quite ready to admit you're into cryptids like that druid when honestly you'd rather be on the floor petting the dm's cat but they made you play and this is the best thing you guess for when all the weird puzzle should be boys a small interview and you'd rather stuck boys till the fighting poor getsy rogue when you've never solved the problem in your life and in fact I've cost many and you're just fine with that honestly me circa early 1800s paying a stableboy a few coppers to ride overnight to deliver you an urgent letter with a thick wax seal that after you struggled to break it just says [ __ ] in tiny little writing no no no no no you don't understand the true level of spiteful here the sender of a letter didn't pay for the post in 1800 the receiver did you just made your enemy pay for the privilege of being insulted I'm starting to see why messengers were getting shot writers always know exactly where they're going with their work are you sure no writer does anything by mistake it's so very strategic are you sure they use symbolism and for example a simple sentence symbolizes directness say are you sure the best moments in writing is when you discover you did something absolutely genius by complete accident honestly minecraft is a good game and I'll never forgive the internet for making people feel bad about liking a game about mining a building houses you know what good post OB remember to drink water babes no then become the dirt I walk on every pulse like this hits me so hard because Opie always swings back with a new type of bat and I'm never prepared for it this is obviously a misunderstanding you've knocked a cyclist off his bike with a pool noodle no I didn't yes you did you it is time to cleanse your mind with speak toot bye tumblr have you ever thought about how evaporation is just upside down raining the most unrealistic part of Phineas and Ferb was that they had a hundred and four days of summer vacation and then school comes along just to have cats 2019 has absolutely no right to look that god-awful but still get to have Jennifer Hudson sing memories that beautifully who may or do that Game of Thrones is now just a Song of Ice and Fire fan fiction with a very very large production budget at night in the woods a little girls laugh is much more horrifying than a lion's roar people don't celebrate your birthday as much when you get older because the novelty of you existing has worn off out my feelings in an alternative reality neo takes the blue pill John wick is the resulting timeline the longer the haircut the shorter the haircut gang texting someone next to you is the new whispering and according to dinosaurs this has been I want you guys to take this in perspective that is a macbook charger those relatively small and he just fits precious praise the Sun is probably the closest thing we'll ever have to a true eldritch abomination all right hear me out here older than recorded history was here longer than any of us and we'll be here long after we leave has a finite beginning an end but is still incomprehensibly agent burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths non humanoid shape floating through space colossal flaming tentacles angrily lashing out on occasion sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children people used to sacrifice other people to appease it pretty sure it screams at us sometimes no no no no no man the moon is where it said source of countless religions and traditions where we get the idea that three is a magic number from waxing full and waning follows you in cars humans design calendars around it pockmark witchy face gunpowder smell produces none of its own light one side kept in perpetual darkness mapped in Latin the language of witches and moves the ocean where mostly witchy creatures live okay guys you're both right country right that's where it hurts while I go give them pants West Virginia I love drinking Gatorade in a jar what why eresource half my HP my three-year-old said our cat needed some rocks yeah cat seems to agree look the only live-action Disney remake I want is the Emperor's New Groove and I want there to be no CGI I want Cusco to be played by two actors and a cheap llama costume my god I throw money at that movie there are snakes in my boots yeah I love conventions imagine roughly a million people realizing yeah we could storm a government facility and they literally would not be able to stop us all and not using that knowledge to overthrow the government posts that put me on a list where do TV shows get this idea that high school is constant drama nothing even freakin happened to me in high school okay now I'm remembering that my school got a Slurpee machine and then had to get rid of it two weeks later after someone poured toxic chemicals into it that they stole from the science lab and attempt to poison the entire tooling squad so like maybe I was just boring where do TV shows get this idea that high school is emotional drama it's all chemical warfare and espionage yeah now this is what I'm talking about oh my god I hate this site I don't need a tutorial to write a text post it's like a wise man once said tumblr may teach you to post but they cannot teach you to post that wise man well let's say he's off somewhere sleeping while his sticks are burning BuzzFeed 25 things you didn't know about Harry Potter try me [ __ ] you are angry about something clam down i text you you assume I made a typo but in fact I'm holding a small soldier claim in my hands he died today I learned the first website on the internet was a page explaining what the Internet is and how to make webpages it was like the tutorial for the internet we all skit life advice number one if you experience a breakup rap yourself up in blankets eat chocolate ice cream and watch horror movies works every time I I'm a solid testimonial to that statement does work asexuals are confused bisexuals are confused pansexuals are confused homosexuals are confused heterosexuals are confused everyone is confused as to why you think you should have a say about a relationship that doesn't involve you this nicely and also had to do taxes we're confused about how to do taxes - writing style author from the 1800's with a severe love of commas whose sentences last half a page I came out here to this point to this place hoping against all hope and despite signs and portents suggesting otherwise that I might somehow find myself having a pleasant experience and yet here I stand alone against the world feeling assaulted attacked on all fronts knowing not my enemy's name nor his face nor whether our battle is done have a good feel so attacked right now but by Oscar Wilde yes it was exactly that behold a gulf out of every pond and play on words I've seen on this site this is the one that makes me so it is time to cleanse your mind with these by tumblr a plantain is a potato pretending to be a banana Fahrenheit is based on how humans feel Celsius is based on how the water feels and Kelvin is based on how the molecules feel in 500 years time this will probably be known as the oil age a lot of people still sing the alphabet song to remember what letter comes next many people's lives are simply one long trip between two hospitals everybody remembers a conversation in which they mildly embarrass themselves and are most likely the only person who remembers that conversation whenever someone enters the ocean the sea level rises some amount speedruns are about spending the smallest amount of time possible playing a game but to be good you have to play the game for a really long time having a tattoo of an icebreaker will probably be a great conversation starter fortnight's toll creative mode note blocks and twelve-year-olds from minecraft a minecraft got him back you know you're an adult when being the oldest is no longer cool and finally when you die your skeleton begins to hatch and this has been demonic screeching noises bye tumblr are you straight or gay or bi or what I'm definitely what one more down thousands to go what a vague and potentially concerning caption will you allow me to share some knowledge with you all even if it makes me sound like a dumbass stoner smoking weed out of a bong requires all four of the elements how does it require earth you know what a plant is right this is what you people think you look like when you honey but in reality you're just eating be vomited stealing it like you're right the reason I eat honey it's because I want to look like a mighty hawk soaring through the heavens reshare if you have a dark side I'm hearing this because I too have a dark side it's called the shadow idiot now shadow is the black and red one don't you know anything about Sonic inside we are all wizards and we all know a spell called love it does 6012 necrotic damage the moon is proud of you and so are the stars and so is the Sun the aliens are watching you're a little confused by your life choices but are proud of you too yo that's right area 51 to say thank you to the aliens let's go boys and this is why you're all idiots apply garlic to a freshly open cut or burn to immediately intensify the pain tumblr I am literally begging you to let me reblog your post ads please I always forget that vampires do exist in the Harry Potter universe and it's like well the more I thought you wanna be immortal life with ho cruxes you could have just a vampire my theory is that Baltimore just really really likes garlic you know I know this is a joke but you can kill a vampire with a wooden stake which is just the thing that most wizards have on them at all times oh that actually makes a lot of sense it's a baby Thank You science side of tumblr so what if we all start using the cats movies to make those crying cat memes instead like this hey Chuck your bow is off of a bridge Opie get out of our face oh the pose the power the presence Oh huh behold a perfume bottle consisting of eight enameled glass bottles as orange segments set in a painted ceramic holder see a 1995 yeah why didn't 1925 people get a thousand percent Goulet product packaging than we do well when crack is allowed and literally everything people get creative what the Freak there's a North Dakota there's a South Dakota I thought it was just Dakota the reason there's a Dakota is a make sure we balance both Canadian and Midwest energies one Dakota would spell the end times oh gee sorry we ended the world hey did I ever mention that time me and my friends combined forces to form Will Smith yeah this kind of [ __ ] is when you quit the match because this team is way too well coordinated yeah I would fold right away what is it about being on a plane that makes people go buck wild for ginger ale literally everyone be ordering it I'm ginger ale supposed to help settle your stomach if you're nauseous so people get it on planes if they get plane sick ginger grows in the ground so it keeps you connected to God's earth while you're thousands of feet up in that even tube some of us just like ginger ale man

Channel: P.M. Seymour

Views: 692,677

Keywords: voice, audio, P.M. Seymour, aphmau, mystreet, comedy, reading, minecraft mystreet, dollastic, discord, twitter, tumblr, social media, posts, reading posts, late night blogging, blogging, family friendly, editing

Id: wO0k0x6GXAc

Length: 16min 23sec (983 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 26 2019