If Birth Control Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads

my life is way too busy to worry about pregnancy the only baby that I want to worry about is this baby then those of us who make birth control have the perfect no fuss completely life altering solution for you but we understand that you don't want me to mansplain about birth control although I am the one that makes it so take it away Jess you relatable relatively cool person our viewer might like to be if they were cool thanks Roger birth control the simple solution for the woman willing to do anything to prevent a pregnancy no other than asking the guy to take responsibility for taking prophylactics or maybe you did and he just won't either way now I'm getting drinks with my girlfriends because that's what women do and this body altering medical stuff will sound better generalized by my gal pals I need birth control but I don't know what kind to choose don't worry there are so many options you can take the pill which will affect the hormones in your body tricking it into thinking it's pregnant when it's not that's why I won't want to make tiny humans pop out of you oh yeah just make sure to take the pill at the exact same time every day because if you don't it won't work as well if it all looks like you just wasted 60 to $130 haha okay cuz having sex without a condom does feel pretty good I mean not at the risk of no we never say that we say we do it because we just aren't ready for a baby but we will be eventually the pill is great it just has side effects like weight gain nausea depression migraines that could indicate cancer or a lack of sex drive so you won't even get pleasure from sex the pill can also change who you're attracted to so once you go on the pill for that special guy you might not even be attracted to him anymore now we're young moms because it's okay to need birth control if you've already had sex to procreate and you just cannot baby anymore I have a kid yep but only the right amount which is when you should use an eye you see an intrauterine contraception which they shove up inside of your uterus by forcing your lady junk to open all the way up to your cervix and you'll be awake and aware for the whole process but don't worry you can take three whole advil beforehand doctors will tell you that you'll deal with some slight cramping but in reality you'll feel like someone is forcing a metal tee up inside of you and your body is trying to push it out but it can't then for the next month or so you'll feel nothing but constant stabbing pain because your body is still trying to eject the foreign object but once your body adjusts you never have to worry about it again unless it impales you from the inside and you have to have it surgically removed you too are hearing me say all this horrible stuff right I mean yeah it's just there's no other option right ah but there are other options you could get an implant in which they slice open your arm and stick a little rotten that provides constant hormones into your bloodstream or you can just get a shot of hormones once a month don't want hormones you can do a diaphragm or a sponge that you simply shove up inside of your baby cave that sounds really uncomfortable it is and they get stuck and they cause these yeast infections but if you're looking for a real no fuss option there's the patch or the ring with no side effects at all and oh great the ring and patch have caused blood clots that have killed people so everything has some horrible side effect and your insurance will probably cover it unless your job finds it offensive that you use birth control because that's a thing if you have insurance at all but it's all worth it so my partner can raw dog me without worrying about babies we do make birth control methods for guys like a pill or a shot sounds like a lot of work well you could get some condoms from a doctor or clinic condoms are tight on my wee-wee nobody believes that bro hey I'm Roger thanks for watching like and subscribe

Channel: undefined

Views: 2,589,918

Rating: 4.8002653 out of 5

Keywords: Birth Control, diaphram, condoms, Honest Ads, Honest Commercials, Honest Trailers, Pregnancy, stds, STD, Cracked.com, cracked, sketch, comedy, funny, spoof, humor, satire, hilarious, children, babies, sponge, the pill, birth control pill, IUC

Id: Hr8BYCHfbEs

Length: 4min 18sec (258 seconds)

Published: Mon Aug 01 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/ImperfectJump]

No mention of permanent contraception, though.

[u/motherofcorgi]

I cannot express how angry it makes me that many obgyn ptactics offer ZERO pain relief for women getting IUDs. Shit hurts! Yet men getting vasectomys are offered norco and local anesthetic...

[u/billehalliday]

It's funny cos it's true!

[u/Zuuul]

Wow. I didn't know there were advertisements for contraception.

TIL.

[u/JessieN]

I like the videos with Roger

[u/FuckingSpaceWizard]

Sure..... but a huge number of women go onto BC for acne, severe cramps, PCOS, or other reasons.