How Did You REALIZE Your PARENTS Where IDIOTS? (r/AskReddit)

our slashes credit kids when did you realize your parents might be terminally stupid my parents have a tendency to never change their incorrect opinions even in the face of facts some examples my parents had the rocky patch in their relationship and when they got over it they joined one of those MLM schemes that had them by audiobooks and travel to conferences to learn how to be happy I think it was called life for something and they got really mad at me when I told them it was a shitty MLM scheme and refused to sit through the seminars with them my dad believes almost every conspiracy theory that exists his biggest one is that the government is using chemtrails to test biological weapons on us my boyfriend was a pilot and tried to explain why this was ridiculous but my dad would have none of it he also sees climate change is a huge conspiracy my mom thinks that preventative medicine is a waste of money and refuses to ever go to the doctor's you know or take her beloved dog to the vet luckily all of her children were vaccinated every week she buys some new homeopathic remedies such as some low pH water that costs fifteen dollars a bottle that will prevent you from getting cancer or some magnesium liquid stuff that you rub on your feet for some reason or another my parents are convinced eating red meat or GMOs will kill you at one point I was working as a researcher in a genetics lab I got into a heated discussion with my mom and showed her many sources to back my claims on GMOs and she was unable to come up with a single source for her own claims and it ended with her telling me that her opinion is just as valid as mine and that I don't know more than her never mind the fact that I have two science degrees and she has never taken a science class outside of high school and has no idea what a peer-reviewed paper looks like my mom is a heavy smoker and accepts that smoking can lead to lung cancer but will argue that eating red meat is much worse for you than smoking based on zero evidence she sees her smoking as a tiny problem in comparison parents are also both very easily influenced by political propaganda and it makes it very difficult for me to see eye-to-eye with him at this point I just avoid talking to them about most topics edit they aren't very old either they're in their late 40s trying to explain the difference between whiffy and LTE to my mother in order to save her from data over ages might as well try to teach calculus to a toddler hmm think of the phone as a water bottle and internet connection is water when you are at home you pay for a water connection to your house so you can fill up your water bottle over and over again and not worry drink water all day that's we fee make sure she knows to look for the we feel Nikon on her phone at home but when you are out in public you can't just refill that bottle you have to ration your water so you don't drink it all because then if you empty your bottle when you're away from home you will have to buy more water and pay extra money things like YouTube or FAFSA but make you extra thirsty that's using data sometimes you can go to stores or cafes and ask them to fill up your bottle but you don't know how pure the water is or if there is bad stuff in there public we fee isn't super safe so that should only be used if you're very thirsty places like other people's houses or workplaces can also possibly fill your bottle up for you but ask first I dunno that's about as easy as I can think of while getting all the necessary information across not an older person would need edit maybe a better comparison would be paper cups of water for wee-fee and a refillable bottle for LTE so she doesn't think that every time she uses wee-fee her data is replenished edit - whoa reddit gold is like a fancy basket I'm glad that some of you are finding this so helpful to use however I will say that one commenters correction that we see is more like a water fountain for drinking is probably better vs a water bottle with certain monthly amount for data so the x-plane II doesn't think they can refill monthly data by using fee that error occurred to me right after posting I take that particular aspect for granted so I didn't even think of that when I originally wrote the analogy for those who say I'm a dumb bus who knows nothing about wee-fee you're partially right I have no tech background but I was not trying to explain literally what it is just trying to make an analogy for data vs we fee usage that a non tech person could understand I watched my dad a very tech minded guy explained to my grandparents all about wee-fee vs data and they were completely lost I thought that an analogy to a familiar item might be helpful if a little flawed no I'm not a teacher but thank you guys for all the feedback this one is double-sided because it simultaneously showcased how smart and dumb my daddy's basically he fell for that online iTunes gift card scam you know one of your friend ml's get hacked and you receive an email from the mask in you to buy these gift cards and mail them to whatever address well at the time an organization my dad is on the board of was hosting a big giveaway and the m/l he got came from another board member so he assumed he was picking up prizes for this channel way however because my dad is a [ __ ] he didn't follow all the instructions of VNL he bought the cards and then texted his buddy to ask what he wanted done with them said buddy called my dad an idiot and explained the scam he had just fallen for now this is where it gets good my dad knew that if my mom found out he had spent $400 on gift cards he will be sleeping in the kennel with his hounds for at least a month he also knew that if he didn't tell her and she found out some other way his fate would be even worse so he partially first up told my mom he fell for the scam with a hammer I'm so stupid look on his face but told her each gift card was for 25 bucks so she said no big deal we'll give them to gray underscore skies underscore green underscore eyes for Christmas so after I had been presented with my fifty dollars in iTunes cards I was silently pulled aside by my dad until there's actually 200 on each card Merry Christmas and for God's sake don't tell your mother a mentally challenged genius that Manny's on my way to school a couple of years ago they were talking about people who fell for scams a caller was talking about how she fell for a similar scam but the person said that they were from the government and would give them a $500 reward if they bought a $100 gift card and read them the code it's my in-laws who I often question I think they gave all their intelligence to my husband they are divorced and his daddy's on very limited contact at the moment due to being a toxic raging narcissist my Phil heard that olive oil was good for you so every single day for years he has continued to put at least a tablespoon of olive oil in his orange juice he also had an electric skillet that he never washes because he believes it's similar to a cast-iron pan and needs to be seasoned I discovered this when the eggs he made one morning smelled and tasted like the fattest we had the previous night this was back when my husband and I were teams and I was visiting him from out of state when my husband was a team he told him to use straight bleach on his acne also told him shaving cream is a scam and to just shave dry with the same old disposable razors the best part was that he told my husband to use baby powder instead of deodorant because women will be attracted to you because it will remind them of the scent of a baby fortunately my husband was not stupid enough to listen to any of this nonsense yes his dad does smell like baby powder no I'm not attracted to him or babies for that matter his dad doesn't believe in any form of Western medicine he's a middle-aged white guy so it's not as if there's s cultural difference here when my Phil decided to get rid of his skin tags himself he read they had no nerves and just cut one right off with a pair of scissors quickly learned that they do have nerve endings and never did that again also has three hernias that need surgery but he just keeps pushing them back in his dad's houses on stilts in the middle of nowhere he gets a lot of raccoons he started feeding them dog food this turned into the raccoons bringing hoods of their families to his home for food every evening last time I was there in the evening there were at least 45 he throws the dog food off the porch for them to fight over fingers raccoons poop whenever they poop on the porch he picks up their poop edited to it that my husband says he uses a scoop for this not his bare hand and flings it alone he thoroughly believes he is training them they continue to poop on the porch often I have more crazy stories if anyone is interested unfortunately my husband's father does a lot of weed but it does nothing to relax him edit thank you all for the many messages dog pictures and gold I did not expect this to be so popular my husband finds this all hilarious it's nice to know that everyone else acknowledges my Phil's insanity makes us feel a bit better about having to deal with him he has been on no contact for over three years for many reasons I'm pregnant and my husband is trying to re-establish just the tiniest bit of a relationship with him so far it isn't going great and it may not happen his dad is a very manipulative person nothing is ever good enough right now my Phil is trying to insist that he and my husband need to fix their relationship so they can get to the point where you want to spend time with your old man problem is my Phil's idea of spending time together only means my husband abandoning his pregnant wife I'm not welcome there to spend the night in raccoon land my husband has no desire to do this and has stayed firm with him but his dad is a stubborn dick so it might not amount to anything we'll see also yes I know raccoon poop is not a safe substance every sane person knows this my Phil is not saying my husband did tell me this morning that he uses a scoop to pick it up not his bare hands so that's a little better we don't spend time at my Phil's house and my Phil is the type person to ignore any and all advice so there's no talking him out of his crazy schemes Plus who wants to give up being lord of the rock loons it is likely van whenever he moves or dice either the next homeowner will be brutally murdered when the hungry raccoon army attacks the raccoons will be killed or the home will be abandoned and burned and the raccoons will live in the wreckage in regards to the dry shaving I mean with no water not after a shower not during a shower and not regularly Phil advocates for shaving with years old rusty disposable razors with no water or shaving cream after at least a week without shaving yes olive oil is better for you than many oils and can have some health benefits when used appropriately however I do not recommend drinking it in olive oil I have seen the requests for more stories so I will deliver I posted more stories in another comment below as I maximum doubt the character limit bonus mill stories at the end eater this post blew up and a lot of people had a lot of questions about what the [ __ ] it's really like to grow up with a mother like this Plus wanted more stories so I made a post on Justin a family about her regarding this post and another post I made about her in a different arts credit I also cross posted it to just know more because there's a lot of posts about mothers there even if they aren't Mills my mother she is legitimately one of the least intelligent people I have ever known in my life she is mentally handicapped but she's also shamelessly abusive and enjoys creating chaos and problems for other people just because it makes her feel good so I feel no shame in sharing her stupidity with the world for laughs for one thing and another reason why I don't feel ashamed of making fun of her if you correct her on something tell her that's not the way something works etc' she just goes yes it is or how do you know and if you tell her how you do know she goes well you still don't know and hopes if she yells it loud enough she'll get to be right she somehow managed to produce two children without knowing that you don't piss out your vagina she thinks drinking cold water after a meal solidifies the food inside your body and leads to cancer when I showed her a website featuring every last bit of the science behind why this does not happen she got really mad and yelled shut up leave me alone I don't want to read it again this is why I'm not ashamed to laugh at her stupidity I study wildlife biology and have taken an entomology course she saw a bug crawling up the wall and thought it was a tick yelled Nova is this a tick I looked at it and it was a baby spider told her it was a baby spider it looks like a tick to me no ticks do not have a separation of the cephalothorax and abdomen this does plus the legs are not fed out to the sides like on a ticks body I think it's a take how do you know it's not a tick I just told you well I think it's a take then why did you [ __ ] ask me she broke my laptop keyboard when I asked her like a idiot I'm actually not supposed to ask her for anything for reasons like this if she could pop a key back on that was loose instead of popping it back on she snapped it clean off 117 dollars to replace the keyboard we drove by a cranberry farm that she had visited with her friend it was July ish she insisted the cranberries were red I told her cranberries are only red when ripe and they do not ripen until September to October we live in an area where cranberries grow wild as well as cultivated know they were add in late September yes they are not going to be red right now they are too red we drove by them they looked like this see not red right now in September they all turned red they're red she insists vine gar is a disinfectant and chides me for spraying Lysol on spots where the cats have had accidents because just use vine gar there's this thing every Christmas time in our town where the fire trucks and police cars ride around town with Santa and mrs. course riding on a fire rakh decorated for Christmas I [ __ ] hate this because they all blare their sirens while doing this so for fire trucks and like three or four police cars all blaring their sirens at the same time this happens every year and has been a thing for at least the past ten years yet whenever it happens my mother panics and runs around the house going I hear sirens what's all those sirens do you hear all those sirens what's going on another tick story she didn't know what a tick looks like obviously so when her friend's dog got ticks she asked to see them then she asked to keep them then she put them in a bag and took them home with her she showed them to me look ticks they were live I told her to get those things away from me get them out of the house and flush them down the toilet because you don't just carry live ticks around I got them off my friend's dog flush them I wanted to see what they looked like so she said I can have them flush them I'm gonna keep them you don't keep ticks around flush them down the toilet I'm keeping them I don't know what she did with them I think the cat has diabetes you need to get her checked for diabetes why she thumps when she walks okay so we did have a cat in thumped when he walked the thump was from his right leg dragging behind him because he had lost all feeling in that leg which is how he was diagnosed with the diabetes he had a very prominent limp and it was very visible that he dragged that leg our current cat though walks perfectly normally and the thumping is because she bounces when she runs I told her that you can see that she walks and runs like a normal cat and you can see her bouncing on her paws when she runs no she's thumping cause she has diabetes no she doesn't walk like a diabetic cat does she does not limp she bounces on her paws when she runs and that's what you hear thumping she has not lost feeling in her paws and she displays no symptoms of diabetes diabetic cat also was peeing constantly and drinking too much water she has diabetes and you need to tell the vet that she has diabetes no I'm not gonna do that I could go on and on but I actually spent 30 [ __ ] minutes writing this post eater how the [ __ ] did I get gold it for this my parents were / are both pretty smart just uneducated mom graduated high school after she already had three kids dad never graduated however as a lot of boomers did they lived a pretty good life without any preparation for the future because they worked hard have good credit and my dad had a pension coming even with five kids my parents managed at least two nice vacations a year a nice home with up to the minut furniture and finishing and nice vehicles then I get into my thirties and it slowly starts to dawn on me that my husband and I are literally living in a different world we had been contributing heavily to his retirement because we weren't total idiots but we finally realized that credit which my parents had used to do some marvelous things was going to kill us so we had to totally reorient our financial minsters my parents actually looked down on us the driving old cars and shopping at thrift never ething they did in retirement such as buying successively more luxurious RVs on credit still made them poster children for financial mismanagement but somehow they were never pursued even when they defaulted on the loan for the last RV my dad passed away six years ago so his pension went away my mom living on Social Security is still hitting the casinos and buying [ __ ] for her house since she has all the time in the world to shop her last stunt was to refinance the house for some cash to tide her over at the rate she's going it will be gone inside of a year but she's 87 at this point so she's burning through whatever she can to maintain the ridiculous standard of living she's had all these years yet here we are my husband and I both college grads with decades of work behind us and we can count our vacations on the fingers of one hand not sure who are the idiots in this story my mother never fails to baffle me with the extent of her cluelessness some tales my father was diagnosed with diabetes a couple years ago and has done very well maintaining his health and weight with a healthy diet my mother occasionally insists that he's too skinny and he ought to just eat more no need for exercise even because the fat is fine as long as he gains weight upon being reminded that he is following his doctor's instructions my mother becomes irate she thinks deferring to the doctor constitutes a personal attack on her intelligence she frequently insists in discussions of any topic that I should trust any claims she makes because she's my mother and she knows best even about subjects for which she is painfully often willfully ignorant if I seek proof to demonstrate that she is mistaken she gets angry because I'm going through so much effort just to prove she's an idiot interestingly she will happily seek out proof when she can be bothered in order to discredit me once in a phone call I mentioned I was walking about 20 minutes to work at 4:00 a.m. that night which rarely happens thankfully she gets cold very easily and said I should bundle up in my heaviest coat I knew it wasn't quite that bad so I said something to the effect of I'll do it if I think it's necessary she became very angry and insisted that I was now planning to wear no coat or gloves at all which would be dangerous simply to spite her no amount of no mother I'm not going to risk frostbite just to spite you could convince her otherwise she can't carry a conversation unless I exercise extreme caution when sharing our opinions about whatever she will frequently make utterly contradictory statements within seconds when I asked for clarification she becomes angry because I'm trying to cross examine her she didn't prepare thesis statement sometimes her mind changes mid-conversation and why can't I just understand what she means I try to point out that I basically have to flip a coin to determine which of the mutually exclusive assertions I run with that she claims it's just me being too anal and aggressive by her own admission the ideal conversational exchange of ideas consists of two people declaring their opinions and then refraining from talking about it ever again any actual dialogue is inappropriate and nobody ever enjoys it a few years back for several years running she would consistently make remarks that even mentally challenged children could scoff at like how the Chinese must still stand on their heads because they are on the other side of the earth she said these things without any hint of humor with zero indication that she might be kidding any people present would simply exchange glances and continue the conversation years later she declares these comments were simply jokes designed to make me me personally upset by pretending to be an idiot so her idea of fighting me was to maintain a years-long sharad of being too stupid to function yet to this day she will grow absolutely livid if she believes someone to be doubting her intellect so yeah it gets challenging I wouldn't have called my mom stupid but gullible for sure first she was a Jehovah's Witness and I was forced to be involved in it for years I questioned the idea of God from a very young age and one thing that I didn't understand was why we called our religion the truth but every other religion believed they were right and there was no way of telling unless we asked God himself when I asked my mom how she knew that being part of the Jehovah's Witnesses was right for her she said there were just so many people in it they couldn't all be wrong at the time she said it was something like 30 million which as a kid was a lot and made sense Evon adult I realize it's only about the same size as the population of Texas and for around the world that is a very small amount if she was going number of people involved I don't know why were never Catholic or something more popular what really did it for me though was when my mom met the Native American chairman at least that's what he said he was he convinced my mom of many things that were all very nonsense we had to sleep on rocks not under the mattress or anything actually on top of rocks for contact to the skin drinks movies with straight K and pepper in them and plant fibers that expanded with liquid and clay take her balloons at 3 a.m. to flush out worms and our livers there were no worms tape pills filled with hers that cost $25 each to our wrists ankles and neck and pay $800 to lay on the ground on a pile of rocks at night in December for two hours to expel demons from our bodies it was honestly embarrassing how much my mom fell for it and died being just a kid of 11 had to just go with it and walk around school with dirt pills taped to my [ __ ] body after having spicy plant fiber and clay smoothies for breakfast each goddamn day forever two years and I knew it was all BS and couldn't understand why my mom was so into it I now know she was just that gullible and that guy took advantage of it my parents are well educated but this was one of the stupidest things I've seen them do I was in the basement playing video games and went upstairs to my parents frantically looking for me they were in that anger relief kind of state and told me they'd been looking for me for hours and were about to call the cops here's the thing I had my phone on me the entire time and had received no calls / text / messages from either of them also man of them ever went down to the basement to check if I was there otherwise they were old seen me I couldn't have really left the house either cause I wasn't old enough to drive at the time I don't know what was going through their minds but it definitely wasn't common sense i whould love to see the police officers face if they found me in the basement after they called the cops edit I made the point about not be being old enough to drive because there was nothing appealing about walking outside randomly for a 15 year old also if I'm in my basement playing video games for hours on end I'm pretty sure it's obvious that I didn't go outside often edit - I can't discount my dad not smoking pot but my mom is oblivious she seriously thought that the weed her students smelled like was just bad though also I unfortunately know that they don't have sex outside their room when I was a kid I lived on a military base and a woman called to say her kid was missing the whole base went on a lockdown while everyone frantically searched for this kid an officer asked to come in and sit with the mom and wait to see if the kid showed up while everyone else was out looking he walks in the house and the kid is laying on the couch under a blanket thank you for watching don't forget to Like and subscribe

Channel: Top Post

Views: 1,740

Rating: 4.8222222 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms

Id: 93qs-HafLFk

Length: 27min 38sec (1658 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 23 2019