Have You Ever Regretted Adopting A Child?

serious parents who adopted a child and regretted it what happened my parents adopted a little girl when she was three she was diagnosed with Radl reactive attachment disorder when she was around 10 she never was able to connect with her biological mother parents siblings family or friends the signs started to show just before she hit puberty this once sweet smart loving little girl was completely different in a span of three years she began to pathologically lie steal cheat run away from home threatened to kill her siblings hold food seek out attention from random elder men online she even attempted to kill our grandparents our parents didn't know what to do and they were scared of a little girl they tried everything therapy counseling medication encouraging social interaction limiting social interaction Public School private school home-school encouraging freedom and individuality restricting internet and media access positive reinforcement negative reinforcement spending extra time with her etc nothing helped everything finally came to a head in a short amount of time first my parents woke up one night to find her next to their bed staring at them holding a knife second she tried to kill our ailing grandparents by putting household cleaner in their drinks and bringing it to them then putting baby oil on the floor hoping they would fall and crack their head open her words lastly she threatened to kill one of her siblings and sit on them until they bled to death my parents ended up having to take her to the State Hospital it was the safest thing for both this little girl and the rest of the family she needed more help in therapy than they could ever provide her in an outpatient setting my parents knew that after this unfolding of events they would never be able to bring her back home it was eventually decided that the best move forward would be to relinquish parental rights they needed someone else to advocate for this little girl because they had to think about the safety of the rest of the family while giving this troubled child the best therapy options available my parents struggled with this decision and still do they feel like failure they often asked if they had done everything tried everything they loved this little girl their child and just wanted everyone safe and happy she is still at the State Hospital but is doing better she has contacted my parents and even said she understands why they gave up their parental rights and she knows they love her she still has outbursts and struggles with everyday life as hard as it was on the family the family is happy and safe this now a teen girl is safe and getting the treatment she needs my parents adopted a four year old girl when I was seven she had been sexually abused by her father for three years before being put into the foster care system when she was adopted she was way too inappropriate having been abused so young and literally having no way of knowing how to control herself resulting in her biting hitting scratching and trying to be inappropriate with me and my older brother who was 16 she introduced me to intimate sex when we would play alone as children me being so young had no idea what we were doing this scared me for years because I couldn't come to terms with what happened if it was my fault or not or if I could ever talk about it all of this was followed by 15 years of her lashing out every way possible she became a pathological liar and would accuse no less than eight people a year off having assaulted her she then started doing drugs everything from coke and acid to him lost a ton of weight started sucking off every guy at her high school and even got caught frickin a kid in the front pew of a newly built Chapel when they thought no one was around but the worst of it all was that my parents never acknowledge any of her problems not the drugs sex or lying so when she started lying about things I had done to torment her do you know what my parents did they sent Amy to an out of state we have behavioral adjustment facility two days before my 17th birthday and I stayed there for an entire year I have zero contact with anyone but my parents and I had to pretend to be kind to them after what they did when talking to them on the phone just so the counselor could see I was improving and I could go home when I turned 18 I have never smoked drunk alcohol been promiscuous or been violent but for some reason they took all the blame of my little crap sisters actions and dumped it on me I missed all but the last quarter of my senior year I spent 12 months away from my girlfriend of five years miraculously we are still together she is a wonderful woman for loving me through all of this and when I got home my parents were still disregarding the fact that she had any problems I moved out two months after I got back and I haven't spoke to any of them since it's been almost two years now I know the original prompt was about parents regret but I regret ever having her as a sister she stole so much more than valuables she stole the last year of my youth so not parent but brother of two adopted siblings my sister we got from the orphanage when she was six months she never really had any major issues other than nightmares from about 1-2 years old my brother we got when he was about 2 year old and apparently the orphanage he was in was pretty horrible they didn't feed the kids on a regular schedule no real caretaking etc so he ended up with what's called attachment disorder basically he was freaking horrible from 3-6 or so would hit my parents physically resist misbehave for things are simple as family photos going to lunch they had weekly meetings with teachers do to him flipping lights hitting other kids got cops called on my parents several times for perceived abuse etc this went on for a while obviously until they found a psychologist who accurately diagnosed and recommended treatments that treatment consisted of when he had an outburst tantrum my parents would basically hold him without letting him go cut forward a year or so of this weekly or sometimes daily Holdings and he straightened up and basically learned that he wasn't going anywhere and wasn't going to be abandoned anymore in the outburst stopped needless to say while these were occurring my parents somewhat regretted adopting my brother but since he's been reformed so to speak he has got much better and things have improved dramatically my mom adopted my cousin when she was 14 her dad was not in the picture and her mom had become a junkie at first it was exciting we had always been inseparable growing up everything changed when she moved in sadly she started to become very jealous of me and I'd hear story from my friends that she was convinced I was taking boys from her her room became a mess she went from straight A's to failing everything and getting in trouble at school things go to the point where my mom had her committed for a few months because because she had started cutting herself at 18 she eventually joined the carnival and ran away it's been 10 years and I wish things could be different I've forgiven her but my mom found out she was telling other people we treated her like crap ex and that broke my mom's heart I'll speak on behalf of my mom she adopted several of my cousins when I was younger because if she didn't they would all go to Foster's homes and be split up she didn't want that some of my cousin's turned out okay and they went on to lead their lives some of them my parents had a lot more trouble with running away telling teachers lies so they could be reported to CPS stuff like that long story short once they were grown they came to my parents house and basically blamed them for everything that went wrong in their lives after that my parents had no further contact with them ever again my mom said if she could do it over she would have let them go into the system because it wasn't worth the stress and anxiety of trying to raise so many kids at once my uncle and his wife decided to adopt years ago he's the most righteous person I know he'd always ponder things and tried to not be unfair after finding a shy 12 year old boy and carefully following all the protocol spending lots of time together therapy et Cie the adoption was final then weird things started to happen at their home like real flicked up stuff I don't feel like listing but the final one was after about a year he was watching the news with my aunt and he was reporting a son that had murdered his parents and he casually spilled see that's what we do with parents that give us trouble I know a lot of unspeakable things must have happened to that kid before the adoption but my aunt was absolutely terrified of him after that and they made the hardest decision of their life to return the kid my uncle was absolutely humiliated in court during the process which I get we are dealing with real kids it's not a joke but then they ended up finding another 11 year old who was a great match they are very happy now although I'm not sure if that was the right thing to do I don't know what I'd do myself so I try not to judge and show compassion instead they already went ahead when they're decided to adopt be went for elder kids in a difficult range that were not Caucasian baby girls yep I adopted a kid with my at the time wife due to her inability to conceive children a couple of months later my wife tragically died in a car crash and I was left alone with this kid I work 60 plus hours a week and unfortunately I had to take him back because I felt he deserved better a few years later I found out he turned to a life of crime because no one else ever adopted him and it was my understanding that this is how he decided to act out his emotions it really hit me hard and to this day I regret not doing more to take care of him those several months I had with him and my wife was absolutely the best time of my life friend of mine became pregnant in high school another high school friend's parents agree to adopt the baby fast forward adoptive parents clearly see there is something not quite right with him as he reaches toddler age he has fits he is molesting other kids at school he is not maturing at all there is a whole list of other complaints they never shared that they dealt with over the course of several years it worsens and they are told by doctors that his birth mother very likely drank and ordered drugs while pregnant and the result is this kids impairment she swore upside-down and backwards when the baby was adopted she didn't touch anything and when confronted years later still denies it this kid is now 17 and will never live unsupervised he will never have a mental capacity of anything more than a ten-year-old at best these people adopted the baby being told he was healthy and she took care of herself during pregnancy but now they have an adult child to look after for the rest of their lives and they are already in their late 50s a co-worker of mine adopted two siblings nine and five the state failed to disclose the full level of their neglect and abuse they didn't know the older child had been molested and that the younger child was destructive and physically comparative my co-worker wouldn't have adopted them if she'd known the full truth she's been doing her best to get them the help they need but she can't even leave her husband alone with them because the eldest lies and makes crap up I think the youngest has stopped the physical attacks and is no longer punching holes in walls my grandparents adopted my cousin's after their dad killed their mother tried to kill them and killed himself they already had three kids of their own and now had six kids and themselves in a three bedroom home there was some arrangement where my grandparents could tap into what was basically a trust fund for money to support the kids but they didn't really bother with it eventually though they took out some of the money to add an extra bedroom to the house reminder we are now talking about a four-bedroom house for eight people as soon as the youngest kid turned 18 they turned around and tried to sue my grandparents for the money the amount of disrespect they had for the people who kept them out of the foster system and raised them as their own absolutely disgusts me not a parent but a brother my aren't adopted by my grandparents called my mom one day and said hey I'm pregnant either you take it or I'm having an abortion my parents said they'd take it a few years later we find out he's dyslexic severe ADHD and momma had been drinking fetal alcohol syndrome Fars kid is a piece of crap loved setting things on fire smearing crap in the bathroom kicking animals and being a manipulative little freak he's two weeks from his 21st birthday now already been inand out of rehab several times stolen plenty of crap from too many people and have cost my dearly beloved parents too much of their lives he found his birth father and lived with him for a while so we've essentially removed him from our lives though my parents are the ones he calls when crap hits the fan several times a week we're all exhausted he is will forever be a burden on society he will never amount to anything positive I know that for a fact I have zero hope for him we all regret adopting him so goddamn deeply I am a patient loving man but I do wish that he had been sucked down to a hospital drain instead of ruining our lives for decades I'm pretty sure my grandparents regretted adopting my aunt they got pressured by the local priests because after two years of marriage they hadn't conceived yet knowing my grandfather it wasn't for lack of trying they went out and adopted my aunt and a few months later my grandmother got pregnant with my dad around age 15 it began clear my aunt had serious psychological issues examples she started freaking out about the government spying on people through the television or she'd have depressive episodes and she'd start seeing bugs crawling everywhere it turns out she's bipolar and it ruined her life she became impossible to be around and was mean to people when she didn't take her meds and she didn't take them off him my grandfather didn't talk to her for a decade at least and my uncle still doesn't talk to her my mom told her to go through herself once and she's the sweetest person in any room she's in before my aunt got married my grandmother had a serious talk with the soon-to-be son-in-law and told him it would be a very bad decision to have kids with that woman they did anyway and my two cousins are complete free cups one didn't finish elementary school and won't talk to his mum and I'm not too sure about what happened to the other one I know he spent his youth in various programs for troubled kids and last I heard of him 4-5 years ago he was prostituting himself to older gay men for drugs at the age of 15 now she goes from one idiot boyfriend to the other so she can use them for financial support and I see her about once a year it's a sad story while I was growing up my mother's best friend adopted a child from Russia it ended up being a total freakazoid nightmare this poor woman's story has completely closed my mind to the idea of adoption forever she adopted a girl of about five from one of Russia's orphanages the only thing anyone knew about her for certain was her first name and that her mom was a drug addicts prostitute this little girl is the most freaked up broken person I have ever met in my entire life early on she showed serious behavioral problems tiny rage dude tiny violent scary rage screaming like a banshee zero Frick's given I stopped over to my mom's place around Christmastime mom always loved the tradition of going to cut down the tree so she had invited her friend and her adopted daughter she had asked me to come help so we could use my truck no bigs so anyway the truck wasn't a king cab we had to take a car to mum wanted adults at W her friend so the kiddo came in my truck I tried to make kid talk with her but she was silent and appeared intimidated okay whatever I thought it was normal kid stuff we go chop down the trees put them in the truck and go home on the way home this little basket case puts her hand on my thigh and starts rubbing it the kid is god damn date I nearly had a meltdown inside I mean first thing is I removed her hand from my leg but then WTF do you do this crap is freaked made it home without incident but whatever very very freaked out now the kid started acting normal again I basically just made sure to never ever be placed in an alone situation with the kid ever again and try to avoid visiting my mother if those two were over tidbits about the daughter once burned their house down got pregnant with twins at 12 H problem never finished high school turned 18 and ran away forever no idea where she is now but my bet is dead comma my mom's friend describes it as the worst thing she's ever done the first thing she would fix if she had a time machine and a total waste of time that has emotionally ruined her sir my mom has been a social worker and has worked with kids for as long as I can remember and she really wanted to adopt this girl that she had known for years so every so often she would come stay with us just to test the waters and see if she might be a good fish to actually live with us permanently long story short she ended up stealing a lot of money from my parents and stabbed me in the leg with a fork she didn't stay with us very long I adopted my 40 new nephew because he was a juvenile delinquent but was super smart and I thought he just didn't have the support or money in a place so poor we were too late had him for four years during which he never tried hard enough to get what he wanted phone TV privileges etc and ended up stealing from a kid who was a leukemia survivor with a profound limp among so many other things I'm not even gonna go into we gave him every opportunity all the other kids had the clothes they had every chance to fit in and find his own way without always being an outsider he went to the best HS in the country and could have gone to any nearby college easily he wanted to be an engineer I wasn't really equipped to be a mother so that toll it took on me was phenomenal he moved out after he was 18 but before graduation graduated only because of a stupid rule that just haven't really a today it moved back to the crappy place he was from never had a pay stub always sold drugs guy got brainwashed and is now exactly where he was if we wouldn't have taken him to begin with except now he can read and enjoys it the money stress effort mass confusion I'm never doing that again we were too late my family is friends with the family that adopted a 14 or 15 year old they are super Christians I remember one of them told me they would rather be dead so they could be with God and their mom told them their dog didn't go to heaven because it didn't have a soul I always felt like they adopted the kid because it was the Christian thing to do and they thought of themselves as the perfect Christian family well after about a year he started acting out by lighting fires and bullying the other family members so they sent him back I don't blame the kid going from the orphanage to that household must have been a massive cultural shock they got his name legal changed when they adopted him so he will have that to remember them by we know two couples who adopted and regretted it my cousin's adopted two sons the first got heavily into prescription drugs and was rebellious he couldn't hold a job and was in and out of trouble he died a suspicious death of a young age his brother ended up having significant learning disabilities he has poor impulse control inappropriate behaviors compulsive lying and is not capable of making good decisions he can work a basic job but is unable to make good decisions so he would spend all his money on a girl he's not actually friends with who asks him to buy her concert tickets via Facebook or he would be willing to quit his job to hang out with a girl who asked he is very easily swayed their parents divorced and neither talked to the living son he doesn't want to talk to them either there are other friends adopted a Russian Ukrainian child around 1990 I don't know if it was an international adoption or local he had serious anger issues and was in and out of institutions we'd jail or juvie all his life he took off and they have no contact with him they have a biological child also who turned out fine I'm adopted and my life is great however this certainly does happen my parents took a girl in when I was five and she was 12 if I remember correctly her mother had drug issues so my parents took care of her on the weekends to begin with this went on for a few years and then her mother got her act together and I didn't see her for many years fast-forward six years both her and her mother had started doing a lot of drugs Social Services contacted my parents and asked them if they could take her full-time they agreed she had a lot of boyfriends come and go one of them stole stuff and others were abusive she was a sweet girl but made a lot of bad decisions it all escalated new years 2000 when we came home to her boyfriend screaming and crying blood on the walls and a trashed house my dad found her in her room with her wrists slit I remember the blood and how more measured me and my sister enter to their bedroom to keep us from seeing anything we took her to the hospital and she survived after that we made her go through rehab and my parents weren't comfortable having her at our house anymore so a new foster family was found however after rehab she really cleaned up her act today she is happily married and I have met her many times as a grownup we are all really happy that she is doing so well now we know a couple that adopted twins one boy one girl by all accounts their mom was just constantly pregnant the dad was on drugs massive boozehound so they needed a home at age six so they took them to lots of after-school activities gave them love and doted on them and they seemed fine fast-forward to age 14 and the boy started behaving like an alley cat staying out drinking taking drugs while the girl got herself pregnant not once but twice from the age of 16 seemed unable to get her head round birth control fruit don't fall far from the tree I have neighbors who did just this they adopted two twin girls who were brought over from Russia by a Christian adoption agency they adopted them and quickly realized they were not equipped to handle the amounts of abuse they had received before they adopted them and the emotion till it took on the children there were six or seven after about four months they had to give them back I don't know the logistics because they of course didn't really want to discuss it they were extremely upset and missed them but Nina they couldn't take care of them my aunt adopted a child and it was by far the worst decision she made my cousin was just not one of us he still didn't finish high school unemployed my aunt had to support his life his children and his baby mama she used to be coolest until all of us until she adopted him my cousin's adopted a girl it was a while ago so I don't remember all the details but she had a messed-up past she was around 8 I think maybe a bit older but I do remember she attacked my cousin threatened her with a knife and slammed my baby cousin's arm in a sliding glass door so hard that the glass shattered he was only maybe a year old they had to give her up after that rare elephant strawberry like feel good luck ignore for 11 years of bad luck if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: regret adoption, adoption regret stories, parents, parents stories, regrets, parents regrets, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: yA6JusY5-TU

Length: 24min 12sec (1452 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 15 2020