California Games - JonTron

[Music] jontron [Music] oh my god summer's almost here but I haven't lost my winter weight chop what am I gonna do to lose all this weight stop inventing and eating things like cheesecake pizza that was in the past shock jeez take pictures in the past I suppose I should bring up your shortcomings as well you're a regular Lucille Ball you know where I'm gonna lose weight actually go outside nah I want an even better idea released in 1987 by epics as a follow-up to the popular winter and summer game series California games was made to capture and emulate the rhythms of the sun-bleached Pacific Coast if I first stopped traffic on a 405 freeway ah epics figured why leave the comfort and shade of your own home to play in the hot Summer Sun skating surfing BMX and more baby this game had it all Surf's Up dude first up the halfpipe ah the Hollywood sign that's how you know they're not foolin this is a real deal California skate park the King just kind of throws you right in no tutorial or breakdown on how the mechanics work frankly I'm not getting anywhere by standing up here time to dive right in [Music] I'm feeling this is foreshadowing I don't know what I'm doing he just falls over every time and his skateboard just hits him in the head then it gives me cryptic tips on the bottom of the screen like too late for kickturn how about you just teach me the turn first I'll add the kick later because I can't even switch directions he just sort of leavel wobbles and then falls every now and then when I pull off a leave it gives me random points it's stuff like 1:56 skull and crossbones and 105 water balloon at least you can give to me in some terminology to make sense like coconut 56 up now there's something a sensible person could understand oh oh oh I got it I got him down getting it down not getting it let's move on to foot bag foot bag what's that's my favorite Kelly Sport I don't know about you what are you like that Street Hawk hey you uh you got somewhere to be I'm I'm I'm get out of here I'll go from disturb me I mean I don't take a hint a couple waves I can ride I don't know who they were trying to fool here but they should have called this what it really is River dance practice oh it's just it's hectic this is not called footbag it's called hacky sack anywhere is that supposed to be the Golden Gate Bridge back there yeah I know it's not actually gold but seems like it might have a case of the seasonal depression and is that Alcatraz Island oh man I mean when I think of the beauty and majesty of California the first thing the first thing I think of is that the maximum security Correctional Facility gotta see it you can actually knock down this bird that's pretty fun come on get him get him yeah wow I'm right here yeah well tell me what you're gonna do if I hold you like an ice cream cone I'm gonna swim a little there's not much yeah that's what I thought all right next event surfing let's ride those waves [Music] like I'm really there this one's a bit unintuitive at first you die instantly unless you push left on the controller right away you press left and right to turn your guy and I guess you're trying to get as many jumps as possible before the wave comes and gets you if you don't come down at the same angle you went up you'll fall behind the wave it always cracks me up see ya later also sometimes when you wipe out a shark comes up and it's like hello there that is the cutest goddamn shark I've ever seen I love him and he's mine now overall though there's not much to this one next up is skating cool like skateboarding oh no they mean rollerskating oh my god come on really this girl falls over everything it wrecks in the cement tiny Tufts of grass in the sidewalk sand particles oh she made it over the chalk on the floor gotta be honest didn't expect her to clear that one he should give this game to sick agents does that mean he'll laugh this good in a long time honey I think maybe you should keep your day job okay BMX something we all understand please let this one be good I mean we've all written a bike before okay except for this guy Oh almost lost gravity there can evil jr. that was a close one oh my god I can't play literally a single one of these games they're impossible to control they're impossible to understand I can't go five feet without eating yeah not to mention the game literally mocks you by giving you colorful commentary throughout dorky also possibly dead call an ambulance try slowing down oh yeah oh yeah real program that'll get us three of UT's girls I'm a cook clap Mike Hawks frisbee I don't even know how to play these ones don't screw it up [Music] is a perfect tenant it's a bit bizarre you controlled both characters here the one throwing the disc and the one catching it so this is a game where you play catch with yourself hey guys chances are if I'm actually playing this in the 80s I'm probably already a fat nerdy kid in his basement alone without friends you trying to drive the point home or something again [Music] no I did yeah so there you have it those were the games I mean it seems to me that this is a perfectly accurate simulation of California sport arena if you suck but luckily for us they made a California games too let's see if they've since honed their programming skills [Music] you guys um you gonna get you guys all right you saw someone behind me let's drop in on a grommet aa grommet I know you say it all the time back in Cali you couldn't stop me saying this word Karamat this grommet that the does grommet me California games to gives you a whole slew of new sports to enjoy first up is hang gliding so majestic oh y'alright good god how violent you wouldn't expect that from this game turns out what you have to do is watch the windsock so you don't catch the wind in the wrong direction and fling yourself to a rocky doom come on ah almost I guess you're supposed to drop these water balloons onto the target but I haven't been very good at it so far No all right there's no more targets over here I'm glad they gave me silence so I could sit here and just contemplate that you never go up there I go let's pick the guy holding what looks to be a surfboard oh it's a helicopter game okay what is going on here well as you can see they've honed in on all the crucial Californian landmarks well you got Hollywood Mount Everest back there the San Francisco Bay Area ten miles away and uh dinosaur you know the Los Angeles dinosaur the famous Los Angeles dinosaur then I can't quite land this thing oh that's no good I like excuse me is the point of this game to fly a helicopter to the top of a mountain and chill with a hot babe well I can't really fault anyone here this is perfect game design what you're actually supposed to do is drop yourself off at the top of this slope and start snowboarding down oh this is California games why am i snowboarding with a view of both the desert and the Golden Gate Bridge both in the same view from a snow from a mountain a snowy mountain yes something's telling me they didn't do their research here except for the dinosaur cuz like what like I was saying that really was spot-on after a while you get out of the snow and hit the grass so it's like you're actually going down a mountain it's kind of interesting honestly man eventually you get to a snowboard halfpipe and this time you can actually control it which is cool it's too bad they didn't figure out how to program a clock yet though because that would have been really helpful but they get in close wave racing is wave racing it's pretty cool for das but pretty basic not much to say about this one next up is bodyboarding I guess I don't know why he decides to fall from the dock like that I guess to get a head start into the ocean your job is to catch the weight this is already a step up from the first game cuz it actually tells you what to do as for understanding how to control it well you're still on your own there buddy I have no idea what I am doing this is impossible Oh No there goes grandma [Music] [Music] oh my god I did not edit that in if you wait long enough the silly music starts playing again really did they not think about how that might you know ruin the moment the last game is a skateboarding game as you can see you're only allowed in this scene if you have a severe disregard for rules and other people's property oh and all our favorite Cali phrases are here too such as the most smooth rad and Swede they just couldn't stop me after I'm gone all up on the rooftops whoo that's sweet just you thank you is a show what's the white vertical hunger yes absolutely because horizontal hunger is for grommets ah jeez these graphics the screen leading into the game look better than the game itself what the hell this is the worst looking game by far all the other ones had decent graphics you know this looks worse than one of those games that came prepackaged with Windows 95 [Music] what whoops looks like I fell off the pipe [Music] I've died but the real funeral and all these people are really affected by this have must have been once word guy I came here for fun in the Sun and all I got was a bunch of depressingly amateur sports people and a lot into a lot of uncalled for death just a gratuitous death we would have been fine without it rest in peace my bronze skinned babies rest in peace [Music] what did I just play what wouldn't what in the name of all that is holy that I just play I wanted to have fun damn it for real this time what happened was like our sad hey you know I don't need those stupid games tell me how to have fun I'll do it all on my own [Music] [Laughter] now calls Frankie Valli the four seasons jontron is sponsored in part by audible.com and Amazon company as you may well know jontron is an independently run show which means we fund and produce it ourselves that's a great thing because it keeps us free of corporate shackles and we get to do whatever we want but to keep the show free and running we depend on sponsorships and advertisements if you'd like to support the show consider signing up for a free 30-day trial on audible.com using this link audible.com slash jontron it's an Amazon audiobook company so you can take your audiobooks wherever you want with you it's got great iOS and Android support it's a good thing if you happen to be a Game of Thrones fan like most of us are you can sign up right now and get the first Song of Ice and Fire book free can't go wrong thanks for watching and supporting the show this is spaghetti and have a nice day oh jeez what the also don't forget to follow jontron on Facebook and Twitter and if you want to see more jontron click those annotations but the keeps but to keep the show free and modesty but to keep the show are you serious

Channel: JonTronShow

Views: 12,999,408

Keywords: jontron, jontronshow, California Games (Video Game), California Games 2 (Video Game), funny, Video Game (Industry), nes, nintendo, DOS (Operating System)

Id: vx9srMlojDg

Length: 14min 13sec (853 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 14 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/Fire_Legs]

Spaghetti.

Gotta say, the name fits.

[u/EyebrowScar]

That gleeful Jon on a skateboard. Byoutiful.

[u/pupetman64]

If you don't know, Hacky Sack is actually a trademark name for a footbag.

[u/Spicyrab]

Apparently you'll die horribly if you go to California.

[u/Urzu402]

It's funny that the Skateboarder guy gets a funeral but no one gives a shit about the Bodyboarding guy.

[u/[deleted]]

Oh my fucking god, that fucking expression is flawless, realising how absurd the thing you're doing is.

And of course the calendar is perfect. Already a good start.

[u/skyman724]

I'm sad that he didn't even mention the VCR game, because my dad's on the front cover (he's the one in the pink shorts dead center).

[u/TheTallOne93]

A NEW BIRD

:O

[u/[deleted]]

The ending was great, cant go wrong with The Doors. Also super glad that Jon is using Audible as a sponsor, a lot of good youtubers are sponsored by it, I might even actually use it for the first time, now that even Jon is sponsored by them, how can I say no to Spaghetti.

Edit: also if you watch to the very very end, you will see what most of us parrot-lovers go through. My dunderhead example