Everything Wrong With Justice League In 24 Minutes Or Less

[Music] Jesus Christ in addition to a full 46 seconds of logos DC is now turning to a marvel style showpiece that checks all their characters and fat were bad enough they have the balls to include in Green Lantern also DC Comics listen they'll be a few times that I'm gonna compare this to a much better Marvel movie so strap in ready okay discount spider-man homecoming opening oh man I used to say that hope is like a car keys easy to lose let's review the s on Superman's uniform it's not a mess but it's a symbol that stands for hope and much like your car keys hope is usually close by except when Superman is saving someone in France while you're in the middle of the woods trying to start your Jeep Wrangler to get away from rednecks the axe wielding redneck then your car keys are not usually close by gave them to Steve's aunt who was thrown into the s-shape Hope River near Kent Falls so I think I understand your simile huh I've never seen a production studio named as a direct warning of a movie before zack snyder awesomely depicts the news that Superman is dead by showing us a newspaper that pigeons are pumping on our Lee which is about as much respect as I have for the nonsense ending of Batman V Superman oh cool someone's committing a blatant crime and Gotham City I love it when they play the hits I hope they do Bruce's parents died after this one brings the house down I'm positive Batman had scoped out this building and found that no one was behind this window that he's goading the thug into shooting up safety first that bats you know what I love best about the Batman action of the previous films the copious use of slow motion a man jumps off a building assuming that when he tackles a parademon in midair it will be able to take on the new weight and keep flying also after all this Batman ends up on top of the same building how did that happen what the hell no well Jeremy you're supposed to be in character when you say this line good it's time then well it's really only time for Batman and Wonder Woman but you wanted to go ahead and challenge the Avengers franchise even though there are no solo movies for the other three yet look I know the whole world loves Superman and all but hanging a banner on no trade on not only is there no [ __ ] way that would happen look how the execution is also these banners are hanging on honor of Superman's death I'm cynical enough to think it's DC advertising for the next Superman movie this is absolutely nothing scene shown in the opening credits illustrates that when you enjoy putting slow motion in your movies too much you wrap it of any impact it can have the idea that this [ __ ] kicking a fruit cart scene is on some slow-motion level of drama is goddamn infuriating antal arias somehow joss whedon found future footage of himself in 2026 and included it in this movie what an extremely politely British way to die I know this movies gotten a lot of flack for upskirting honestly I think the amount of up shooting is overlooked look all I'm saying is Wonder Woman is shot completely different in this movie than when a woman was at the helm and no I am NOT above perviness but this movie isn't red Shoe Diaries Wonder Woman of desire an unproduced script I wrote in 1995 under the pseudonym Johnny spokes this is a movie where Wonder Woman is an equal super hero to all the men and it's guaranteed we won't be seeing any dudes filmed in a similar manner back to the dark ages and the safety of holy Fair King what if dude knows for sure they're gonna blow stuff why even use a timer isn't a timer for [ __ ] who want to escape okay Wonder Woman you can stop posing and defeat evil now one Wonder Woman the following scene is ruined by no less than ten cuts back and forth between Wonder Woman doing her acrobatics and Roose Bolton shooting at her not to mention how she manages to block bullets while she's turned the other way and since one can Wonder Woman do flash stuff anyway meanwhile a different ridiculously expensive set also Bruce rides in on a horse walk some distance to a cliff and I guess he ends up rappelling down this thing to a town where people know Aquaman but this is Bruce Wayne the idea that he couldn't find this place through the air or by some special glacier busting bat ship to land closer to it is ludicrous hey Aquaman here you can talk to fish I can't wait to see how Aquaman sea powers somehow factor into beating an army of flying para demons from space that probably gets sick when they go near water anyway I don't mind the ocean guys how about if they boil just like a bat you're out of your mind Bruce Wayne I think having three separate discussions here that have nothing to do with one another is there a reason that this version of Alfred dresses like he ordered everything from the eddie bauer catalog i mean cargo pants seriously on this is the days where mom's biggest concerns were exploding windup penguins wait are they saying this movie is in the same timeline as Batman Returns because that raises a lot of questions hurry it up will ya haha get it because he's the flash and this guy doesn't know he's the flash but seriously what is it about superheroes where they end up running into the biggest [ __ ] on earth and they aren't even looking for them you can have a life all these characters so little time whatever is coming that requires such a team apparently can be beaten easily with all this backstory to cover and they haven't even tried to resurrect Superman or fight him yet essentially they let the comic book fans fill in the gaps for caring about these characters lazily introducing them and dropping them off at a movie theater while their parents shopped at the mall didn't think you were ready for them to know what for them to see the monster you are not a monster it's weird that you thought I meant me not really the logical discussion you were having about you and what others might feel when they see you definitely made it sound like you we're talking about being a monster oh cool the most curious I mean themed spark idea I mean simple skini can be thumbing nut I couldn't I just named this Amazon Ireland yeah man if that box opens we're gonna shoot the god of it with arrows also a warm welcome to Steppenwolf the main baddie that you will forget as soon as this movie is over I honestly didn't think the CGI bodies could get any worse than doomsday especially ones that are essentially humanoid but DC once again finds away a bunch of parademons come through a portal then they start shooting up the place and a whole bunch of whatever occurs I'd almost rather the director put up an old-time You silent film intertidal up on screen that says BAM kazooie the Amazons get boomed and I then watch a dreary action piece like this take place also I watched this action scene frame by frame just to get a sense of what this film thinks it's showing us and I have ultimately decided that nobody who made this film really knows a to seeing the mother box get lassoed away makes me wonder why Steppenwolf didn't just grab it and run you landed right next to it he has a nifty portal why all the trouble fighting the Amazons keep it moving what the hell is this plan give the all-important life box to some character we've never met then tell her to ride really fast that way is this really the only contingency plan they had for this box for the last several thousands of years oh no the old spark I mean that does Iraq I mean the rabbit's foot I mean mother box is out in the open so wait does an arrow have the load-bearing capability to pull something as heavy as the mother box as it flies through the air also box also I guess this is actually a clever plan but what the are these ladies doing all the way up there they know they don't have the box when they could have actually been helpful in the fight back by Steppenwolf did they seriously expect these arrow shenanigans to work or are we just going for a cool shot with no thought behind rather where all these Amazons while Steppenwolf was trying to take the box if he even had half these soldiers standing outside while Steppenwolf tried to chase after the relay racers they could have ended this does this movie explain how Steppenwolf can use the Bifrost at any time or place that he wants I mean I'm sure there's a comic explanation in New Gods number one from 1970 but if I'm gonna look that men won't know what it means men won't she will damn it Queen this is no time to be playing the pronoun game this janitors wife had some strong words for the aliens she says stole her man what's with the glib attitude man everyone in the world knows aliens exist now from Superman doomsday is on so why treat this woman like she's crazy an alien that only comes down to probe some random dude is the least of your worries also movie has time for this and yeah I know the story is about the janitor Cyberdyne I mean STAR Labs but the fact that they decided to update us in tabloid fashion with his foul mouth wife makes his disappearance mean even less to me you know the banks jump like a cougar if you missed by a dime jump like a cougar if you miss by a dime well I'll see if she'll take your calls so it's a shame that's racist anyway sad card coming back here at all I can imagine after arrival and nocturnal animals this must have seemed like amateur hour he said you could smell a story further away than he could hear speaking of hearing they're having a pretty casual conversation about Lois's relationship with Superman here even though Martha's known as Clark Kent's mom so anyone that's half eavesdropping which should be pretty common in the newsroom should have had the biggest scoop in years right about now it was about seeing the engine of the world it still man I swear to god eighty percent of the first 30 minutes of this movie is main character has one-on-one conversation with side character about something sad ah I said light went from blue to red he's been iRobot it rotten Shia oh hey I didn't see you there I was replacing the hose on this giant aircraft that I work on all by myself and yet it still runs perfectly it's boring but it's part of my life you know I've paid millions of dollars for this building security yeah it's expensive I guess diana has ninja powers now too she can crack bruises AKA batman security system without being detected did she have time to learn that they called him Steppenwolf the end of worlds he was a long way from the rockin sounds of magic carpet ride and born to be wild but sometimes you can find inspiration from the destruction of planets nightmare creatures who feed him fear these so called nightmare creatures significantly lose their nightmare status when you see them flying around like gnats wielding laser guns also do they really feed on fear well they just do what they're told they did okay against the Amazons and I don't find them to be a particularly fearful group I have no idea what's in them power they don't contain power they are power o other worlds how did you get the lanterns to show up during this battle did they just show up on their own this whole movie is like a crash course while we literally watch the DCE you crash to the ground Sam say drove him and the disgrace of his first retreat yeah but wasn't he already a little crazy like didn't you just say his sole purpose was to conquer fools do you get any madder than that both sealed and guarded insecure strong homes okay fine you had the forethought to separate the mother boxes and put them into secure strongholds but why on display like museum artifacts and when I try to destroy them earn them the fires of Mount Doom the box of men was buried in secret one of the lanterns take the box you left a powerful artifact in the hands of King regular-ass dudes and they're burying it in a van down by the river we're asking people we done know to risk their lives what was that story you just told about all the heroes banding together to fight Stefan well we're all those people friends before then Quicksilver or flash or neo is doing something really fast so we have to slow it down to show their perspective cliche what is brunch you wait in line for an hour for essentially lunch Jesus Christ Barry is arguably the best thing about this movie but the poor guy has gotta read bad stand up lines like this to make him seem extra nerdy Diana and Victor meet face to face but why here why in public do what you do how would Dianna know this cyborg himself doesn't even know what he can do and it's not like this is a set of powers that anyone seen before and do fine I mean it's always the same for a long time every protagonist in this movie at least what I lost someone I loved once you might say that I pined for him also look I know the power of love better than anyone except Huey Lewis but Steve died a hundred years ago just because the movie came out five months before this doesn't mean Diana has to still be hung up on that [ __ ] what's this from disguise why would the parademons attack a fishing boat when they've discovered the location of the mother box underwater yes we've got to inform Aquaman of the impending danger somehow but the wanton destruction of these parademons makes no sense geez you think someone close to the ocean would be more concerned about littering if the parademons tore through that fisherman's boat then Aquaman saved him took him back to the bar and had a drink before coming back to Atlantis why aren't there already here is there any real explanation as to how Steppenwolf knows exactly where these mother boxes are on earth and if he can transport with impunity why'd it take them so long to get to Atlantis and why are all the armies caught completely on oh oh you know what never mind I'm sure it's all addressed in the Schneider cut huh looks like I ever heard a noise apparently Aquaman's abilities under water include punching and kicking holy that was easy there were like 3 people in Atlantis guarding the supposedly super well-guarded mother box might as well have done what the humans did these [ __ ] need to create a space without water to communicate this is some goddamn balls where is the underwater telepathy what makes these heroes so special underwater the firstborn beloved Queen atlanna um are you guys going to address the fact that the mother box was stolen and that's a huge development we saw the Amazons fight hard to keep it in their possession and the Atlanteans baddest tenacious is an Atlanta team in the playoffs mother I see why you waited to summon the Kryptonians death plunged this timid world into such terror Superman is overrated that I've said it not only was there a time Superman didn't exist and it would have made the most sense for the mother boxes to call you then but even when Superman was saving people on the regular most people never got help from him he couldn't be everywhere it was and he spent most of his time in Metropolis he also have to factor in all the people who were scared that Superman existed because of what it meant for the world at large that's why Batman V Superman was like watching c-span for three hours finds our lost mod wait is he asking the minions to do this hasn't Steppenwolf found the other two pretty much on his own she really outsourcing now suspect was a giant bat with huge fangs Oh amazing DC Marvel crossover here as Jay jonah Jameson finally makes his appearance can't wait until there's a power struggle between he and Perry White during the Daily Planet Daily Bugle merger what a visually arresting shop tells the story of Bruce Wayne deboarding his private jet in an uncertain world of Galkin asses Batman jumps down from this gargoyle as he is wont to do but why did Wonder Woman and flash show up to the rooftop like normal people why did Batman need the grand entrance at all do you think Commissioner Gordon wants to tell Batman cut the man I've seen you a hundred times you're just not to press me anymore easily back to Braxton Island between the two cities because in case you forgot that book from the last movie Gotham and metropolis are separated by a very short distance with just a small body of water between them you really think well I understand Batman in one woman have methods the cyborgs have the ability to leave stealthily it all sets up this pretty funny flash moment I guess you the mother bucks percent is only constraints that Steppenwolf wasn't all over star lamps from the very beginning if he can smell the mother box which by the way new but even more important if the mother box cries out for him why hasn't he found cyborg a guy made from the mother box faster than this that guy is here right now just tell me the rules first off how does flash make everything he touches go as fast as him second if he has to wear the suit to stop from catching fire why didn't Silas third doesn't Silas now have all the whiplash and this parademon this kicking Batman's ass just imagine if there were more than one of them attacking at the same time it's not thanks Alfred but I'll take it from here please keep firmly in mind that the all-mother powerful Steppenwolf is literally sitting there with his thumb up his ass while the Justice League snaps pithy one-liners oh cool Aquaman showed up was he just waiting outside the tunnel and hoping that someone would blow a big hole in it so that he could join the other justice leaguers yellow distraction moment then why the hell did you bring all those humans here to find out where the mother box is shouldn't you go find them Bale yes and while you were virtually in the same amount of peril from the rising flood water as a few seconds ago yet we will advance to the next scene without acknowledging any other all he needs now is the last box of men Narayana he doesn't have it but I decided to take it out of its hiding place and show it to you guys out in the open he was doing fine where it was but I figured I'd ramp up the danger some more the parademons are all surrounding this house with the Russian family in it but how are they kept from going inside sure they boarded up their windows and barricaded the doors but unless we saw them the windows were not boarded up and they would have been easy for parademons to break and access I also call both on barricades and boarded up windows keeping these guys from breaking in so all of this is worthless to me goddamn even the elevator ride to the Batcave looks vacant why would you choose to make your elevator ride look fake it movie you have no idea what kind of power you're dealing with even if there's a fraction of a chance Jesus Christ Bruce what is it with you and your low percentage of chances last time you said some boat that if there was even a 1% chance of Superman being an enemy you had to take it as an absolute certainty now you think you can control a mother box to resurrect the very same Superman because there might be a fraction of a chance without even thinking of the potential consequences technologies like any other power without reason without heart it destroys us like the iPhone we are not enough yeah but it seemed though let's look at this objectively and forget that a Justice League movie without Superman is like journey without Steve Perry sure it's not quite the same but it's still got a lot of people who can get the job done like if the writers came up with a way that this crew could win with all the resources Bruce has along with the combined superpowers of all the others you'd be sold on that right and Arnel Pineda it might not have super-strength but tell me he can't fly when he sings open arms you lose something when he died there is four I'll have a contingency plan for that Lois it's Lois even though Offerman's literally talking about Supes losing the part that would allow him to recognize the people he loves Lois I swear I'm pretty sure this is Amazonian first what kind of [ __ ] would let the one picture Clark was buried with fall into the goddamn goo it's not like they didn't see that it's pretty hilarious to me that they're pushing Clark down into this still wearing the suit from his funeral not only when we return as Superman but I'll also have a dangerous fashion sense that will make evildoers cower and fear the mother boxes ready you have to charge it the moment it touches the fluid it's not that flash can't get there the moment the box hits the fluid it's that there's a hilariously arbitrary deadline in the first place Wow cool the supers most of time their caper to happen just before dawn since it's now daylight and they went in when it was super dark also let me get this straight what is the timeline of this movie they met with Gordon on the roof right before they attacked Steppenwolf in the harbor so those events happen on the same night then later that night they got the mother box leading to the confrontation in the Batcave which I guess happened the next morning since it's light outside even though you know it's in a cave then we smash cut to flash in cyborg in Kansas digging up Clark's grave later that night and finally we journey back to Metropolis which is definitely not Gotham for these Superman is Anse at the end of that night so movies both telling me all this happened within roughly 24 hours and that Steppenwolf has been doing Jack the whole time glad Superman is alive so that now this movie can officially start 35 minutes before deaths but where did the rest of his suit go well at least it kept his pants Wonder Woman definitely would have been pg-13 naked she went through this hey em guys very important mother box to retrieve it landed on somebody's car hello very important thing okay this is an example of how fun this movie could be and so we will knock off a sin for this very good moment from a not-so-great film they helped took Batman this long I know he doesn't have the SuperSpeed that the others have but it's the length of a public park man what happened all that CrossFit he did in the last movie Clark Weiss Clark pissed off at Bruce again sure they had that big fight in BBS but by the end of that movie they banded together and had no problems working to take doomsday out so his last memory should be all like hey did we win st. Martha man just say Martha [ __ ] thank God they gave Lois more to work with in this movie than just a facility I'm sorry I could say that with a straight face well Supes is awake I guess we'll give him all the time he needs to get his head straight and hope that Steppenwolf will wait to enact his final plan when he's ready to roll another box no she no [ __ ] this should have been mission number 1a after it flew out of STAR Labs at least mission number one B it's not like all of you had to uncle Superman's awesome abs so you can't find them or maybe you don't want to since this keeps happening in every [ __ ] movie I'll go all caps protagonists have unnecessary fight before the climax of the movie cliche sure the fate of the world hangs in the balance but at least there's time for Clark to meditate and some corn seriously this movie has 25 minutes left Steppenwolf is probably the least villain ever I'm the idiot I left but I'm back now I have these two are reconciling but that's gonna be a pretty awkward mustache ride you call Bob whatever you want to call it dude I guess it's got to be weird to get your first post-death boner for us that's the deal I was pretty tense well I guess I do own one so there can cool now sure Lois cleared some cobwebs for Clark here but within minutes he's gone from homicidal to chummy with bats and here I didn't think a reconciliation could get any more annoying than the end of civil war right last time Steppenwolf had the unity they had to stop it right away or the planet would go to literal hell but this time he's taking so much time that a random village family can escape in that town my whole life being part of something bigger like this this is ultimately one of the very few bright spots of humor in this movie but it all depends on a Wonder Woman just laying her lasso down anywhere be Aquaman not seeing that magical before he sits down see the lasso activating even though it's not last sewing anything and Dee has asked completely covering the rope so that we don't have the reveal until after his speech seriously who the [ __ ] is this family why do they matter I've honestly lost count but I'm gonna estimate this is the 143rd hero shot in this movie I'm gonna take out tower knock down that shield oh wait you mean that thing is powered by some sort of tower it is truly insane when a powerful ancient character needs a tower to create a shield dome making a hole in the shield is way too easy taking out the tower is way too easy I thought the parademons were attracted to fear not sound in fact didn't this sound just make the parademon go crazy so why would it pursue the sound yeah maybe to destroy whatever is making it sure but you set these things up to follow fear and ended up making them simply annoyed by police sirens minutes Hey how does she know that did she talk to the ballerina Bruce brought to dinner in the dark night while I watch Aquaman Russell with these parademons I'm at a total loss as to what he can actually do in this battle that is not in water so is he just like really strong or something is that it couldn't Bruce have hired John Cena to be in the Justice League thanks for the lift cyborg who moves pretty fast need flash to take him anyway you know what I wanted to see from this movie Batman stealing a gun and using it to off bug creatures that's how you put asses in the seats you're all too weak well I believe in truth I'm also a big fan of justice thank god Steppenwolf set him up Superman's been thinking up this entrance line the whole way over here oh man Jason Momoa has officially become the will smith of the Justice League oh no if only Steppenwolf would try any of his tricks instead of punching or kicking considering he's like pretty much a god right civilians there's too many of them dude can't one woman use her newly formed flash powers that we saw at the beginning of this movie to help Barry why are you easily disposed of Steppenwolf and why didn't you just go ahead and disable that guy when you had the chance Slovo exhibits 67,000 and nine of Superman being way way too powerful is him being able to keep up with the flash what makes Flash special the Superman could do the same thing I mean all he's got now is that he can make an electrical charge but I'm sure Superman starts wearing fur he can accomplish that in short order too so Barry help the only family we're supposed to care about in the truck and Superman saved a whole apartment complex someone driving the apartment complex these are supposedly people who were trying to get out of town right so Steppenwolf is just no longer difficult huh it was kicking everyone's ass before Superman showed up but now that's is out of the picture again Wonder Woman and Aquaman can hold their own with very little trouble oh yeah Teen Titans know now that they took out Steppenwolf the village immediately turns into the shimmer from annihilation I really [ __ ] hate this family looks like Bruce decided to pay for the Kent farm so that Martha could have her house back just wondering though why didn't he do this sooner I know it was cool to pay for the funeral and the last movie and maybe he thought he'd done enough but it was clearly a dick move to not do this before now darkness the truest darkness wait movie Lois Lane aeration here's the rock III ending for nerds alright stop joking around Luthor I'm gonna have to come in there so Lex broke out of the Super Max prison smuggled the dude in that looked like him then escaped onto his yacht to set up a meeting with Deathstroke why couldn't we have seen that mister this movie shouldn't we have a league of our own as long as the characters are never developed and are thrown into a two hour movie and we're supposed to just know what their powers are I'm all in [Music] did you know that Batman servers were once hacked by the Legion of Doom nearly toppling the Justice League only Bruce Wayne and been running Nord VPN at the time nor word VPN that's Virtual Private Network uses their military-grade encryption services to keep your information safe from hackers malware and the Legion of Doom and for a limited time you can get 75% off a three-year plan at Nord VPN comm / cinemasins if you use the code cinemasins a check out you can get an extra month of service for free use that extra cash to buy yourself something fancy three words for you treat yo self Nord VPN also offers 24/7 customer support and is totally risk-free with a 30-day money-back guarantee so if you're like me and spend too much time in the weirdest corners of the internet or you're just trying to keep Wonder Woman's secret identity under wraps and you really need to check out Nord VPN go to Nour VPN comm slash cinemasins and use codes cinemasins to keep your browsing secure for just $2.99 a month and an extra month for free don't be like Batman protect yourself online today it began with the forging of the great rings three were given to the elves seven to the dwarflords and nine nine rings were gifted to the race of men oh it's on video the lasso Nastya compels you to fear slight meats back on the menu boy [Music] horses and a man on fire and I killed a guy with a trident

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 9,219,095

Rating: 4.7699361 out of 5

Keywords: cinemasins, cinema sins, review, mistakes, movie, eww, justice league, batman, man of steel, wonder woman, wave jockey job, aquaman, superman, flash, everything wrong with

Id: Hw4kbo2K6lw

Length: 25min 5sec (1505 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 18 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/ROBOT_B9]

Infinity War and now this? You saved the big guns for the end of the year.

[u/[deleted]]

oh boy this should be good

[u/zero_ms]

I called the sin removal on Superman turning towards Flash as he speeds towards him during the fight in Metropolis since this movie released. Glad Jeremy didn't disappoint me.

[u/-Mr_Rogers_II]

Superman turning Steppenwolf into a joke ruined the movie.

[u/MuricanTragedy5]

Jump like a cougar if you miss by a dime

Wtf does that even mean

[u/SailorSaturn79]

“Huh, I’ve never seen a production studio named as a direct warning for the movie before.”

Shots fired shots fired

[u/Arcanist365]

Oh yes, been waiting for this one ever since their mini-pod review.

[u/twobithacker]

It's like it's Viewer Persistent Demands Month on CinemaSins!

[u/Meta_Boy]

I really liked sin #114. Nice.

Also, I'd not just have sinned the off-screen prison escape, but made up some more just for Eisenberg's Lex. I did not mind this movie too much, I do have enough DC knowledge to fill in the blanks; but I don't think I'll be able to like a sequel (are they even still making one??) if Eisenlex has any amount of screentime in it.