Everything Wrong With Captain America: The Winter Soldier

[Music] new logo same epilepsy also 30 seconds of logo establishing shots of washington dc are not complete without at least one monument and one jogger also does cat need to run laps to stay in shape isn't it that concoction of superhero steroids that keeps him powerful even after 60 years of being in a coma i guess he could have gotten bored but damn go fight crime or something the running in the movie started on some bridge crossing the potomac how did steve run the exact same course that sam was running to lap him three times in three different locations they weren't running around the reflecting pool the whole time that's for damn sure internet so helpful except for buzzfeed this is a funny list of things that steve needs to catch up on but who just randomly told him check out steve jobs of apple inc what you learn may surprise you man so glad they included the latitude and longitude or else i would have been lost is he a superhero or is he born because in this opening sequence it's tough to tell the difference warning ride may cause vomiting sure everything up to this point has been covered done with a maximum amount of sensitivity so it was about time cap threw his shield through the wheelhouse so that the bad guy could be alerted to his presence badass or no one measly kick is enough to keep cap from nabbing this guy sure would have been great if he had a shield with him right now basic playground taunting is enough to enter cap into this let's fight without weapons cliche also how the [ __ ] does cap have time to learn french when he still hasn't even seen star trek what the [ __ ] is going on is cap not a super soldier with super strength cap went toe-to-toe with iron man in the avengers so why are regular human dude suddenly a match for him yeah but what are its coordinates oh last time i trusted someone i lost an eye you trusted the safety of earth to the avengers you assembled to save new york even at the point of blowing up a u.s plane that was going to bomb new york so you trust people all the time ass every week some punk would say what's in the bag what would he do i don't know cap maybe if you'd let him finish the story he'd tell you stark uh he had a few suggestions once he got an up-close look at our old turbines marvel continues to think merely mentioning the other avengers in these stand-alone movies will be all the audience needs to stop wondering why the other avengers aren't actually helping out in this movie's crisis the satellites can read a terrorist dna before he steps outside the spider hole even if i'm willing to give you that magic satellite that also means you somehow have a database with the dna of every person in the world matched to an identity and that's not acceptable in any way at all we've now seen enough movies with chris evans in them to start saying chris evans is on a motorcycle cliche steve goes to learn about himself before learning about steve jobs and apple only one little boy recognizes cap at his own exhibit best friends since childhood bucky barnes and stephen rodgers were inseparable why the [ __ ] would this childhood best friend and fellow soldier merit his own wing in the captain america museum i know the movie wants to suddenly make bucky super important but that doesn't mean the world would have the best that we can do is to start over cap just happens to visit his would-have-been girlfriend right before her imminent death would we think less of this movie if they didn't have holograms talking to nick fury is this our future i hope not holograms look awful in every movie unless they're used for trickery in thor the dark world then they just don't make sense a bridge like this raises serious questions like marvel poaches as secondary villain from the best dc movie ever even at 193 years old robert redford can still act any of the rest of this movie's stars under the table but you got to get iron man to stop by my niece's birthday party iron man 4 niece's birthday party no wonder downey didn't want to do it look who it is the running man arnold schwarzenegger must have that benjamin button condition then this is help geez holograms on the car windshield too that's not only useless but what i call distracted driving recommend an aesthetic injection and also remind you that this high-tech state-of-the-art vehicle is a chevy these shady military goons brought in a battering ram instead of say i don't know explosives to destroy this car i'd like to see these guys shoot out the tires for once who knows maybe they skimped on automatic tire inflation technology and you can kill nick fury instead of whatever this is why was he even bothering to drive this god car in the first place shady government goons take shooting lessons from the projections in inception when her soldier dude just happens to be waiting for nick on this random street also he's not only doing his best joker from dark knight imitation but also waiting all these needless minutes while his underling assassins flail around before stepping in to do the job himself that seems like a perfectly handy weapon the other bad guys could have used earlier he brought his lightsaber that thing cut an escape tunnel through first his unkillable vehicle and second through the street and into the ground in like five seconds plus it was able to displace a giant pile of rubble that carving such a tunnel would create also i suppose the winter soldier didn't just go ahead and climb down into the tunnel and chase after an extremely injured man with no weapons he said i guess my work is done here and bounced captain america is worldwide famous and has his own wing at the smithsonian but no fans or paparazzi are staking out his residence at all it's probably because they respect his privacy right is this the movie's end credits sequence that's up to you bad guys finally find their aim when it's surprising to the audience don't trust anyone i bet it means that [ __ ] walter donovan from the last crusade also other people you shouldn't trust iron man thor honk or any of the other superheroes you would instantly call on this situation if you were a logical human being captain america is a dick to office spaces jump down what the hell are you giving up for how far could he possibly have gotten in the last three seconds i mean this is definitely an elaborate hoax right i can't imagine why marvel would want to kill off nick fury or samuel l jackson saying i don't want to do any more of these highly profitable movies steve pulls out his secret flash drive in full view because i guess he needs reminding that he has this flash drive in his pocket some of you may not be aware but when a person dies the hospital wheels them into a side room so that that person's employees can silently mourn the carcass for a few minutes i need to take him because he's definitely not dead i mean why else would maria hill be in this movie other than to take nick fury to his secret bunker where he can pop out and introduce us to the events of avengers 2. strike move it out never before has the timing of a concession vending machine refill job been so perfect also this is either the worst hiding place in the world for a flash drive or it's a biting indictment on how few people buy hubbub bad guys decide to be annoying and make the elevator stop down every floor to collect reinforcements movie villains send regular humans to try and kill cap in an elevator because the movie doesn't want to [ __ ] it only wants some cheap foreplay he's headed for the garage lock down the bridge steve manages to run into the garage get his motorcycle drive off and still get to the bridge in time before they lock it down i'm confused i know he's super strong and the shield is basically indestructible but how is the shield also a boomerang is the movie saying he's just so gifted with hand-eye coordination that he always throws it perfectly so it careens back to him too bad shield only has one of those hover plane things if someone tweets about this guy i want to know about it tweeting captain rogers has information regarding the death of director fury he refused to share it so we tried to kill him rather than arrest him and interrogate him how did she know to come back to the hospital and check the vending machine nick fury wasn't there anymore she left before cap hid the flash drive and she's not one of the bad guys paranoia only works when the shady action makes sense most of the intelligence community doesn't believe he exists the ones that do call him the winter soldier roll credits i was escorting a nuclear engineer out of iran somebody shot out my tires definitely not any bad guys then the drive has a level six homing program so as soon as we boot up shield we'll know exactly where we are the question is with such an important flash drive why don't they have a homing beacon that works without booting up how much time will we have uh about nine minutes from now nine minutes for a level six homing program jesus how slow is level three that is a huge ass [ __ ] arbitrary window of time how do we know they're evil ladies and gentlemen because they're in black trucks riding single file and tailgating shield's only available agents to pursue number one fugitive steve rogers are all the way back at headquarters so i guess natasha just calculated the drive time from headquarters to the mall to come up with that ridiculous nine minute window public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable bad guys don't notice obvious incognito good guys because the power of other people's boners is stronger fun house mirror chris evans the coordinates are the same base where cap was trained but he's still only slightly cautious again if he'd spent more free time catching up on movies instead of memorizing nonfiction [ __ ] he'd know he's walking right into a trap there's stark's father howard where is roger sterling [ __ ] how are you just gonna recast younger howard stark and forget all about the badass you had playing the character earlier jesus first they had to trace the drive's origin then they had to spot the autoplays fake munitions bunker then they had to notice the small rush of air indicating a passageway i'm beginning to think this villain that wants to be found doesn't actually want to be found even if her advanced cell phone has an app that can do this it's still only indicating the four most often pressed numbers not the order of the precedent so natasha instantly pressing them in the correct order is a middle finger and i'm just going to give you one right back shall we play a game it's from a movie that means myself steve's seen [ __ ] war games before seeing star trek what we did not realize was that if you try to take that freedom they resist you honestly believe that did you sit around in a room somewhere thinking you know what i love when people tell me what to do the new hydra grew a beautiful parasite inside shield why is the evil hydra science guy's brain computer giving up an exposition dump to the movie's heroes is it because the audience needs to be filled in on [ __ ] okay let's lure steve to this place so we can tell him everything about our plan before killing him brilliant that's impossible shield would have stopped you accidents will happen is that what he's calling nick fury's death because no investigator would consider hot lead blasting through an apartment wall to be an accident at least i hope not project insight requires insight so i wrote an algorithm what kind of algorithm i don't know natasha maybe if you let the disembodied brain of dr zola finish he'd tell you they survived this also pierce calculates this plan to ridiculous detail except the idea that cap might think quick enough to survive the missile attack call in the asset why not just call in the asset in the first [ __ ] place also why fire only one missile that's captain america right maybe you should think about overkill in this case i'm going to go mr pierce mr pierce's maid decides she'll yell through the wall right next door instead of walking five feet to see him face to face because man would that ever be bad if she witnessed the winter soldier on the other side sorry they already cost me zola actually you cost you zola there was no need to blast the building he was in you could have easily waited until they got outside for a surprise attack you could have just gone ahead and used this dude in the first place oh renata i wish you would have knocked villain kills innocent person unnecessarily because it's time for the audience to know he's evil cliche hey i met you once while running and then again at a recovery group meeting so i automatically know where you live i mean did they even exchange full names man it sure was nice that steve ran the exact same route that sam did that one random morning useful new friend is useful why'd you use a stealth shoe no these top secret army wings to which i as a civilian will instantly be granted access or at the very least my theft of them will be glossed over completely passing truck driver honks his horn because [ __ ] who get thrown into traffic are a menace to society also are they saying that the winter soldier can fly where the hell did he come from later we find out there's a jeep full of bad guys but that jeep is way far back in the action so he didn't come from the jeep the winter soldier could have taken out this car no problem with that thing he used earlier to blow up nick fury's suv but now we have to know how badass he is with the number of unnecessary stunts he can pull off there should be a tremendous traffic jam going the other way after that huge truck slammed into sit well just a second ago rubberneckers would be out in force um when your body careens and tumbles across asphalt like this you get up with most of your skin gone but in the movie he only gets a few scratches because falcon now that the hanging on top of the car cliche [ __ ] didn't work now it's time for a grenade launcher something that could totally have done the job in the first place oh good you have more of these i was beginning to worry you only had the one anyway good timing okay so natasha is running underneath a four-lane bridge she's running running more running still running how [ __ ] wide is this bridge and how long does it take someone to run underneath it yeah cap that fall must have made you groggy we've seen you survive worse no problem but sure you go ahead and take a rest now you deserve it okay so we know that steve is in this bus but the bad guys can't know that he's in the bus winter soldier dude shot captain america and he went flying over the bridge but no one was around to confirm where he landed and they spent the last couple of minutes trying to kill natasha and sam with this incredibly high powered weapon be able to fire so many rounds at the bus without at least a few making it through and killing cap because at the bottom of buses are not [ __ ] strong why are they even bothering to try this and why aren't more things made out of bus bottoms also yet another weapon the bad guys pull out that could have ended this a whole lot earlier also dc police might be bad but this is the most negligent police force since the nopd in x-men origins wolverine steve jumps out of the bus and what do you know his shield is lying right there tardiness also got to give sam something to do right why not leave one guy on the bridge who has no business being up here so he can fight him bad guys keep shooting a capped shield as he walks towards them and uses said shield to deflect bullets and kill them all instead of you know shooting at his legs also sure was convenient to the run length of this movie that the winter soldier decided to go after natasha instead of killing cap himself right here and now police response time just shy of a pizza delivery hey remember when you were on top of the car a minute ago dropping one of these babies in it and simply jumping off the car would have been an easy thing to do to accomplish your mission did any of these people know what the way is to stay out of it man they're shoehorning as many characters from the first movie as they can into this aren't they next up dna strands of hugo weaving connected to an oak tree that talks also surprise except so not surprised that it makes you wonder why they even bothered to put this reveal so late in the film sam swoops in to save kat because he totally knew where these guys were after being on top of the bridge the whole time ah so bucky escaped in the smoke of that explosion like a cheesy magician then gotcha he's the bert winterstone soldier where the [ __ ] had these [ __ ] been the whole time hanging back yeah i know he notices the chopper in a minute and tells them to put their guns down so they don't get on the news murder and cap but no one cared about the news during the whole bucky thing and no one knew about the chopper at this point when they're walking up telling him to get on his knees so what the [ __ ] not here but maybe in the van on the way over to wherever you're going right we need to get a doctor here maria hill waits until sam asks for medical attention before finally revealing herself was she gonna wait until the car stopped to tell everyone hey guys friend here to help also i see now i guess the reason they didn't kill them and only took them prisoner was so that we could have the surprise agent hill rescue fine okay whatever i know you guys all love this movie and that's fine but i hope you realize it makes about as much sense as the terry gilliam fever dream who's this guy he's the future new captain america duh well lisa's character is they'll probably replace the actor with don cheadle three holes start i see these bad guys went to the kingdom of the crystal skull school of putting the heroes in the rear vehicle so no one can see the escape also why entrust anyone except yourself to watch these guys in the back of the van that was bad intelligence very bad intelligence wait was this magic van underneath the street in the tunnel they escaped from or did they escape through the bottom of the prison van and then run out the back without anyone noticing them and then find another van somewhere because either scenario is simple i promise this is the first time i've seen this movie unfortunately for this movie i've seen lots of other movies they cut you open your heart stopped tetra the toxin d hey that's the same [ __ ] toxin liam neeson used in the 18. i'm pretty sure it doesn't have that convenient use but at least it sounds good doesn't it evil medical lab is inside a bank safe deposit box vault because it looks cool sergeant bonds yeah about that remember in the first captain america when they were on the train well dr zola was also on that train and they caught him not long after bucky's fall and they took him to an interrogation room where tommy lee jones ate steak in front of him he definitely wasn't there for bucky's winter soldier surgery and i'm calling [ __ ] on anyone else walking around looking for winter soldier candidates at that time bunch of superheroes come up with a mission impossible style plan involving swapping out guidance chips instead of a plan where cap infiltrates the carriers one at a time and punches their engines until they fall out of the sky also seriously the only reason fury isn't calling iron man right now is because robert downey jr is too damn expensive so thanks marvel for giving us this massive cinematic universe that only makes sense during the avengers films i'm with you to the end of the line pal irony also what a great scene it shows us the friendship that we already knew existed and adds extra time to a movie that's over two hours superb he doesn't know you you will because the power of friendship is stronger oh man i am so fired i wish also why did cap need to steal this museum suit when he escaped shield headquarters he had the suit on and the next time we see him is in the hospital wearing civvies so obviously he hid the current suit somewhere and should be able to get it back instead movie has him steal one because [ __ ] stan lee well of course you are the heroes have to show up in time to stop it so you couldn't have done this any earlier that's for sure kate falls for this i guess they consulted goldeneye on how to build humongous underwater things gymnastics dodging i was just about to give this movie some sin points back for having this surprise badass older lady destroying all these dudes but then this mission impossible [ __ ] happens and well i'm suddenly thrust back into the brain dead academy school of arts also once again technology that could be extremely useful for both sides is used for one surprise attack for movie purposes state-of-the-art next generation helicarriers are hella bad at aiming [Music] well even if one of those one at a time dudes had fired their guns this whole thing would be over bam evil wins hydra watched star wars saw the completely unguarded glaring weakness in the death star and said hey let's set up our own vulnerability to be similarly deserted couldn't they just throw a grenade in one of these things and do the exact same job quicker later they're going to blow these helicarriers out of the sky anyway so why don't they just blow up the control panel why bucky ditch the goggles in mouth guard part of his uniform is it because steve knows his true identity now because bucky doesn't know that remember how he was brainwashed again last night disabling the encryption is an executive order it takes two alpha level members don't worry company's coming on cue explanatory helicopter lands just outside right as she says this what the [ __ ] is going on fury has a separate security clearance for his [ __ ] up eyeball how would it be connected in the system to his identity but not noticed by pierce when he was wiping former director fury's security clearance oh come on you've just debated tons of anti-aircraft fire earlier now you're going to get nabbed by something as clunky as a grappling hook winter soldier says fit we'll let gravity decide this ah no there wasn't nearly enough time for that parachute to break your fault i see this helicarrier was built with movie fights in mine unless you want a two inch hole in your sternum i put that gun down why didn't you just do this before like when this was happening sure she punched you in the face but how long would it have taken to get that handy remote and fry our ass that was armed the moment you pinned it on but why were you afraid that when the council members learned what you were doing with insight they'd blast their way out of shield and go tell the world about your plans i really need some [ __ ] up way to make sure they don't do that i know badges that burn through sternums god i'm a genius discount rocky 3 and the movie hasn't even ended yet i see getting choked unconscious gave bucky his aim back fire when ready man i hope they do that thing where they're ready to fire but it still takes them a while just to add tension firing in free fire now but why you have these ships locked now they pose no danger this is a hero sacrifices himself to save the world cliche but the world is already safe geez michael bay thinks this sequence of explosions is excessive i guess it's lucky none of these ships crashed in downtown washington right also by the way is anyone in washington giving a [ __ ] about this just a minute ago we saw these things targeting everyone in the city including the president who was nice and cozy at the white house apparently unconcerned about all the explosions he was hearing earlier and none of the debris landed on or endangered anyone except bad guys the final helicarrier somehow has a sense of poetic justice deciding to crash directly into the bad guy headquarters geez they're still fighting why hasn't anybody won yet why not he had no idea where the helicopter was and the helicopter had no idea where he was and even though he lands head first into a helicopter door he survives this don't worry i'm sure they'll find that one of a kind item before the next avengers movie somehow gives him with you to the end of the line well here's one of our favorites the old character repeats dialogue back at the person who said it to him this time with extra subtext routine it's a classic annoyance movie continues to think i haven't seen other movies before and pretends steve isn't going to be saved at the last minute by bucky as you can see the us military dc police firefighters and so on have jumped all over this crisis in downtown washington it's a trick steve it's 70 more years into the future that guy you think is sam is wearing one of those think natasha wore a minute ago to pretend that he's sad you're not gonna put any of us in a prison you know why probably because you're so going to stall face ha pulp fiction reference he'll probably strike down upon me with great die hard with a vengeance and nick furious anger am i right masturbatory fanboy evil weapon technology that half the audience will have to google to learn about elizabeth olsen isn't my girlfriend in this mid-credit sequence and credit scene expects me to be surprised that bucky is out there but damn we saw him drag cap to the edge of the water and walk off into the sunset so i mean yeah totally he's out there also in the movie's second end credit sequence bucky goes to learn about himself before he even learns about steve jobs and apple [Music] there is one more thing [Applause] top mercs led by this guy xdgse we are an unarmed freighter we have two skiffs approaching with armed intruders potential piracy situations took the embassy and security got me out how come you didn't get caught i went out for pizza then i went to canada people do you have any idea who you're dealing with this is jason bourne you are nine hours behind the toughest target you have ever trapped yes shall we play a game hello neil who are you i am the architect i created the matrix i've been waiting for you the battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the star fleet its defenses are designed around a direct large-scale assault a small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defense attention all shield agents this is steve rogers i may not be a master builder i may not have a lot of experience fighting or leading or coming up with plans or having ideas in general do you believe it now trinity you

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 10,823,861

Rating: 4.6579123 out of 5

Keywords: everything wrong with Winter Soldier, cinemasins winter soldier, cinema sins, wave jockey job, cinema sins winter soldier, everything wrong with, cinemasins, captain america: The winter soldier, winter soldier review

Id: W529m44OT0Y

Length: 22min 56sec (1376 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 23 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/XI_Ki11JoY_IX]

For those of you wondering why cap stole the first uniform: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=d81nZoVwZ4c

It had a tracker on it, and he needed his cap uniform so that he could be recognisable by Bucky and shield.

I still don't know why they didn't just track the shield though

[u/Nekonax]

Burt Winterstone Soldier. You guys were definitely proud of yourselves for coming up with this. It's OK, you can admit it :P

[u/dof_]

You really got under /r/marvelstudios skin with this one. NIce job! haha

http://www.reddit.com/r/marvelstudios/comments/2h89yn/everything_wrong_with_captain_america_the_winter/

[u/henrykazuka]

Correct me if I'm wrong but I thought Captain's vibranium shield was able to absorb any kind of impact, yet he was flung out of the bridge after being hit by the grenade launcher.

[u/Jellysound]

On the Bucky exhibit:

I assume either every howling commando has a similar exhibit or that Bucky gets one because he was the only commando to "die" in combat.

Either way considering some of the Smithsonian's actual exhibits I don't think it is too much of a stretch.

[u/Tagard_McStone]

What was the final song used in the final bit there? Why was that so familiar?

EDIT: figured it out.

Steve Earle's Feeling Alright. Referencing "The Wire" Season 2 Finale montage.

EDIT 2: It was Season 2 finale, my b.

[u/trevdordurden]

I feel like I've seen what Cap's watching in his museum before...

[u/[deleted]]

Don't forget that the Strike guy was just a Discount Slade Wilson.

[u/TheDudeBeto]

So what did you guys actually think about the movie? According to the video description, it says you didn't love it.