Everything Wrong With Captain America: The First Avenger

you know what's sinful to TV and we think it's finally time to do something about it that's why we're excited to announce the launch of our new channel DB sins with the link in the description to head over and see our first episode on Game of Thrones as for this video you may have noticed some of our videos have gone missing and we want to make sure we're getting them back out for your sin loving us we normally go down to one video a week in September this month we're going to use the extra space to re-uploads on the lost episodes back to the channel and we'll be doing the same on Saturdays as well after this month will continue to reload videos on Saturdays until they're all back up on the gym all right that's enough announcement for one day evil guys hood ornament close-up cliche show bad guys feet walking first before revealing actual bad guy cliche dead old Knights coffin cliche they wrote this movie with a film cliches book open on the table didn't they some little grandchildren perhaps I have no need for them to die there is no way the guys in that tank heard this comment so I have to assume it's just a huge coincidence at the cannons turn just after the bad guy mentions maybe killing civilians did I see God did enough wisdom faint Schmidt looks at the wall decoration and says yep there's probably a secret snake I can push somewhere that will give me the tesseract also that's how you hide something you really want to hide behind a gargantuan wood carving wall display of a famous tree that symbolizes the guardian of wisdom and fate yep the entire movie is a tesseract setup and since the tesseract is ultimately only a MacGuffin and the Avengers anyway that makes this all the more stupid fun house mirror Chris Evans you probably shouldn't cinemasins a war newsreel at least not in the theater you can either skip north fast-forward film want to shut up so none of these other people who were non and who were crying at the war newsreels stood up with the skinny guy against ignorant about projection guy what a bunch of dicks irony hey does he have a homing device on Steve pick on someone your own size cliche anyone out there see this football game between the Brooklyn Dodgers and the Patterson Panthers in May of 1942 yes because this game was never scheduled and never happened you liar sergeant James Barnes shipping out Franklin the first thing Laura character fully states his own name to someone he already knows because even the screenwriters couldn't figure out how to introduce this guy after he appeared out of nowhere to save Steve Jesus movie is basically setting up everything in the Marvel Universe except Captain America collects crap yes important scientists just happens to overhear an argument detailing the perfectness of Steve for the secret science project with the arrival of Toby Jones we now have way too many people in this movie who will be announcers in the Hunger Games with all this opening the box exposing the tesseract and conducting all this energy with it shouldn't open Thor and Loki be alerted about it right now instead of like 70 years from now I guess in this military rules an order aren't important they play by modern-day reality-show rules stupidest criteria ever you want to pick the guy who would get himself killed at the first enemy grenade every single other candidate did what a good soldier and person with common sense does they ran only Steve Rogers was stupid enough to jump on a grenade that at the time he jumped wasn't even gonna hurt anyone because everyone else had run away is this a test he's still skinny yeah well what does it matter if he's skinny especially if you're gonna inject him with almost super steroids later anyway I sure am glad I brought it so that I could segue into a history lesson about Nazi Germany cesium amplifies everything that is inside so good becomes great bit becomes less scientific serum makes judgment calls about what is good and bad and then amplifies them against this power we now possess world-changing power from Odin's treasure chest can be defensed by performance-enhancing drugs on earth it can't be 1940s Brooklyn unless there are youths playing stickball in the street somebody get that kid his sandwich well somebody needs a sandwich the only way we'll know if this is truly a lot of power is if all the machines start sparking at once like most things in comic book universes that make a person bigger the pants stay on and in this case there's still a perfect fit let's not start sucking each other's just yet how do you know what this very moment it didn't give him brain damage or something why would this process leave one vial of serum behind after the experiment and how did this spy guy no one would be left in fact why blow up the observation room when everyone was busy shaking hands over the successful procedure dude could have tried to take it when no one was looking then blow up the observation room of someone yelled at him we interrupt this superhero movie to bring you the untouchables why does the spider I've directly towards agent Carter after she shot the driver from behind from a much longer distance there are plenty of roads he could turn down to avoid this and get to where he needs to go also why can agent Carter hit a driver from behind in a much longer distance but not hit this dude's head from a much shorter distance good thing there's only one yellow taxi in New York City at the time Steve is trying to catch up to a yellow taxi the guy with gun doesn't immediately shoot super-soldier that lands on his car roof and when he does finally use his gun of course the hero somehow magically dodges all the bullets he can't see coming man what a nasty wreck that guy must look like a mangled horror show right holy that wreck was meaningless to cheesy moments with fake shields by the 41 minute mark Gyo movie also taxi company name suddenly apropos when he was driving the cab he was basically trying to avoid Steve the whole time going about it in a random manner taking wild turns to avoid him and even trying to throw him off the car but this is where he wanted to go home and if so why was the original car going in a completely different direction before agent Carter shot the driver so the plan was to go into the military compound to blow up the observation room expect the explosion to be a diversion for everyone steal one vial of serum that just happened to be there kill the scientist hope the formula hasn't been shared with anyone else escape up some stairs avoid or kill all military police run out the front door take a car which has two henchmen and it just in case you're followed drive to the pier where you expect that no one would follow you anymore and you just be able to board this submersible with absolutely no witnesses or other issues hi Joe science division did she know they were talking about Hydra all the way over here and remember when Phillips brings up Hydra they talk for a little bit I dream so agent Carter had to be waved further back when he said that is my norm you know I got was you you okay so if you used Steve he wouldn't have to fight alone what he couldn't he just be a regular soldier who kicks a lot more ass than usual sergeant James Barnes in 107 I've signed more of these condolence letters today and then I would care to count but the name does sound familiar I'm sorry Steve just accepts that James is dead because Philip says the name sounds familiar but the name is King James Barnes it's not Lyle Alzado or some did Colonel Phillips not hear about the story where Steve track down that spider iving a car while on foot and jumped into the water to stop that guy in his high-tech submersible what these anti-aircraft guns have only one plane to shoot at but they miss like stormtroopers driver of this truck doesn't hear the easily jirobo commotion this cat beats up the bad guys every one of these trucks has a crew of dudes coming over to check it except this one where one lone soldier comes to check so that cap can knock him out with a shield also no one hears the loud Clank of the shield or sees a guy flying 10 feet backwards or sees cap with his practically glow in the dark shield running away King seriously not one lookout in this entire Hydra base not on guard at the sensitive tesseract weapons depot zoom an enhanced technology in the 1940s [Music] I'm Captain America I'm a super soldier who just saw an important scientist running away from me and oh wait what's this my best friend in the entire world so wait did everyone who was fighting down here evacuate before the ground floor could self-destruct my evil boss is equally matched with the hero and they've only thrown one punch each better separate them we're only an hour into the movie so sure let's try and fool the audience into thinking the main character died sounds plausible right wait they didn't make him a real captain did they that was just his costume stage name for the USO shows and right the only real soldiering he's done has been since he went AWOL off the base here to rescue his buddy and no one could have promoted him to captain because of that should it yet not one Pio w died during that confusing battle in the dark with the Hydra soldiers all armed with the power of Odin are you keeping the outfit right you know what it's kind of growing on me not me this is a waste of everyone's time agent Carter's gonna see this of course there will be a misunderstanding it's dumb and just stop doing this bit already also that was a terrible waste of Natalie Dormer yes I think it was cute movie moment but what the actually no that's not even a cute movie moment this crazy chick is a danger to others also it's now officially even crazier that she couldn't kill the Hydra spy earlier I guess none of these guys with the Odin guns that disintegrate people really want to use the movie waste 79 minutes on backstory and only to throw the first 20 true Captain America action scenes into one rapid-fire montage guys shooting Captain America escapes an exploding building on his motorcycle what the is going on randomness man they really let the newsreel guys get up close to top-secret information things excitement neither can the we receive these weapons since when do these weapons need time to build up energy when we first saw them they could fire at will now it has a delay every Hydra agent that we've tried to take alive is all one of them sure guys shoot at the shield and not the bike that was your good von Wilhelm who liked most was awful at being a Hydra this car has a clear shot but decides to suck at life instead sure just run up real close to Captain America instead of standing at a safe distance and firing your disintegration gun in what world does this make sense yet another be dreaming about flowers or sunrises or some instead of firing his gun when the power of Odin doesn't work try flamethrowers they wanted to kill him before but now they've come to their senses and just want to take him prisoner magic zip lines shot from a unicorns dream Red Skull and crew just stare at the incoming Special Forces guys instead of you know firing at them and stuff oh I see took Americans to make these guns work Amica ex machina hey nobody in a hydra uniform better shoot that Captain America guy in the side or the back while he's freely traipsing through this hangar okay magic traveling chain attached to the ceiling of hangar by leprechaun tears and dragon wishes I guess even back in the 1940s they used nas to make cars go faster give me a break lady fate of the world hello because physics man that was one awesome shot of paper football random bad guys continue to be random with no variety to the randomness even with the advantage Red Skull aims for the shield jeez who wants the power of the gods after the track record in this film even after this it took 70 years for the gods to notice so cap push Red Skull into the Machine and broke it then skull picked up the tesseract which either killed him or transported him somewhere in space is this a lucky victory for the Americans here or what massive amounts of energy conducted on the plane somehow doesn't destroy it even though we saw one small particle now Howard Stark on his ass earlier why can't he just parachute at the back of this plane or jump when it gets close to the ground he's being superhuman why is he just resigned to death the game it's from May 1941 I know cuz I was there oh come on he just happened to be at that game and they just decided to pick a game from 1941 even though they know he's Captain America and his plane went down much later than that and they had a take well that's not anticlimactic or anything to our advertisement for the Avengers ends with literal advertisement for the Avengers they cut off one head two more shall take its place hail Hydra a few weeks back the folks at naturebox tricked me into doing an ad for him by sending a box of delicious snacks I thought that would be the end of it and for a while it was but then they sent me another box now I didn't order this box I definitely didn't pay for it but here it was in front of me in the flesh a new box full of even more varieties of delicious healthy snacks I thought about what to do the right thing to do would probably be to send the box back that's not happening I suppose I could send them a check to pay for the snacks that's not so I've decided the best and safest course of action is to just make another ad form hopefully this way they'll feel compensated for the value of the snacks and perhaps even continue sending the free unsolicited vittles now I cannot suggest that this is the best course of action for you to get some delicious naturebox snacks you're probably better off going the traditional route trying naturebox calm and it's I mean you can always just create an ADD form and sit there and wait for them to start sending you snacks and hell I don't know that may be their plan but I doubt it looking to eat healthier snacks trying to eat better wake up every morning thinking of new and creative ways to cram granola in your mouth naturebox has your back and just for our viewers they have a 50% off special on your first order at HR box comm slash cinemasins oh and they ship for free yeah we don't think it would be more comfortable in the booth No would it make you more comfortable I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here it came to me when I tried to classify her species ladies and gentlemen welcome to my underground lair I have gathered here before me the world's deadliest assassins and yet each of you has failed to kill Austin Powers [Music] [Music] and many of them are so nerd' so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it are you listening to me neo but were you looking at the woman in the red dress [Music] you remember the little red button yeah push the little red button put on a seat belt [Applause] [Applause]

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 2,502,765

Keywords: everything wrong with captain america, the first avenger, cinema sins, captain america review, eww, everything wrong with, captain america the first avenger, wave jockey job, cinema sins captain america, everything wrong with captain america the first avenger, cinemasins, cinemasins captain america, captain america cinemasins, captain america, captain america cinema sins

Id: DzOivKp8eOY

Length: 15min 39sec (939 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 06 2018