Everything Wrong With Dragonball Evolution In Many Many Minutes

in a time before many can remember I already know I'm gonna hate this movie a warlord named piccolo came from beyond the star it's not a [ __ ] warlord named piccolo who would decide to keep that name evil pear brought the human race to the brink of annihilation evil brings human race to the brink of annihilation cliche a group of brave warriors created the Mathu ba a powerful enchantment that imprisoned piccolo deep within the earth and decreed a powerful enchantment that would have killed this [ __ ] why can't things kill things in these movies also let's not only imprison him but put him deep in the earth say hello to parallax and the black goo from Thor the dark world [ __ ] his master captured disappeared even though Piccolo's henchman is supposedly badass in his own right he decided to just vanish instead of finishing off a weakened human race something tells me this will be the opposite of evolution like we might not be able to stand completely upright after this movie first rule is there are no rules you CGI sweat is CGI also slow motion sweat montage I'm not saying I don't appreciate a good SWAT the fly into your grandfather's mouth scene occasionally but I don't feel like this movie has earned my trust enough to get away with one so early apparently the first rule is that there are no rules about looking totally stupid either random ass watermelons are nearby so that falling into them is funny you rely too heavily on your external senses your eyes can deceive you don't trust them am i right true power inside your ki he is the key maker so I guess Goku is learning from the right person this area got landscaped during the goku grandfather fight because now there's a shrub and greenery that was not there before seven dragonballs will grant the holder one perfect wish if I had the seven dragonballs I would wish that movies never again mentioned artifacts that are spread around the world and only work when they're collected though ku parks his bike in a huge car space which means Goku is a dick to his high school and we all know where this is going also the popular kid straight up try to murder Goku did you just fart that person no the screenwriter just wrote something me we pain keko keko fuller gives goku a free shot to the left side his face which would be great for a right-handed punch but goku clenches his left fist for some reason I mean hot babes currently banging Fuller's show up just in time to humiliate Goku even further top babe who's going out with the school [ __ ] actually really likes the protagonist cliche I guess this is an invisible ship and no one who watches this guys for a living ever notices it also what happened to the powerful spell that sent piccolo deep into the earth did construction workers accidentally dig him up trying to build a McDonald's just because the wood creaks this chick gets suspicious about people under the floor holy [ __ ] its Sinestro also is there a reason why he needed to show up at this very moment other than the dramatic reveal also they dragged poor James Marsters into this didn't they go whose fantasy involves strawberries but not nudity nobody fantasizes in a classroom and gets away with it oh my god ancestors say what they might say no wonder American kids don't learn anything in school like grandfather would say beware than iMix oh so that's why the teacher asked such a stupid question so we could get some exposition on some [ __ ] they're an alien race they're nearly destroyed earth over 2,000 years ago surely it's more than that right I know we're in a fictional universe but wouldn't there be evidence of this event if it only happened 2,000 years ago though Goku couldn't use his key with his grandfather ask the power of boners is stronger the girl he's interested in just happens to know everything about this cable that Goku takes the Dragonball to chi Chi's party for no reason other than the plot geez Goku didn't even tell his grandfather he was going to the hot chicks party seems like an unreasonable dick move considering he's so important to him all the popular [ __ ] from school decided to party outside the entrance to the mansion so that this fight could happen pouring water on the ground is awfully intimidating it'll be a massacre I knew these guys aren't smart but I thought everyone knew that a massacre involves killing lots of people so even if you destroy Goku into millions of pieces it's still not a massacre house move might have been impressive if the bully didn't scream trying to punch him slow-mo overkill bowling after all those kids got knocked out trying to murder Goku the party continued and the unconscious kids in need of medical attention were left lying in the driveway I like different that's why I dated the school's most popular [ __ ] that's perfect timing because she's 26 why did you bring ninja stars to fight the old man but a sci-fi gun to shoot the lady in the Japanese village it's not here if he knows the Dragonball isn't here just by feeling it then why did they even bother going to the house it's to kill the grandfather and make Goku feel bad for being a dick isn't it also father figure dies after the child was a dick to him cliche and he could have just done this in the first place why does he need any henchmen also with this kind of power who needs Dragon Balls something's wrong the moon and the Dragonball know when Goku's grandfather is about to die for some reason didn't piccolo just crush this house why isn't the whole house just a bundle of sticks and debris right now I mean come on piccolo has just about the same detection power as our on at this point and do piccolo not know about Gohan's grandson it could have just waited here until he came back and he could have taken the Dragonball later find out this is a nursery rhyme why a story like this was passed down as a nursery rhyme and not something important is total [ __ ] this quest could have started a long time ago when there would have been no issue Hausa United where is it I know it's here motherf King pronoun game also they drank poor emmy rossum into this didn't they are you piccolo did you not listen to your grandfather he definitely referred to piccolo as a he just before he died my new this job will require a jet pack at some point luckily for her this highly secured phone has a skylight nearby I followed a signal here and that's when I ran into there are seven dragonballs how do you only get one signal how do you know I had the Dragonball a little machine I invented oh good because when Goku's grandfather said he was gonna have to find all these things I thought he was gonna have to go on an adventure or something thank God that's not the case also since she didn't know there was more than one Dragonball when she came here did she invent this machine to track the one Dragonball in her father's vault just in case it got stolen and if so why didn't the machine tell her of the other Dragon Balls sooner and she definitely didn't build this thing overnight either I'm gonna make them an unlimited source of energy then I'll turn into Doctor Octopus and spider-man will have to stop me this is less believable than the invisible car James Bond drove in that die another day both is how do you know the real question is how does Bowman know that Goku is referring to his dead grandfather Dragon Ball detector is just now detecting the presence of another Dragon Ball is this the same house mal hit her totem in an inception yeah because that huge golden ball crashing down on the table wasn't noisy at all just because it's in muted slow motion doesn't mean it didn't make noise they dragged poor chow yun-fat into this didn't they also they were just looking for Roshi and here's Roshi I thought it might take an adventure of some sort to find him I sure I'm glad that's not true sure little crazy strike I recognized that anywhere wait is a shadow crane strike such an exclusive move that it absolutely has to be the work of go Han I trained it huh go in is way older than Roshi unless Roshi is supposed to be one of these Wolverine types who never ages seriously guys this is like watching Robert DeNiro in Rocky and Bullwinkle I just can't believe what I'm seeing and come to believe me I tried forever to unlock Sheng long and Street Fighter 2 and that did not go well if the prophecy is true can't we just have a sci-fi fantasy martial arts picture without a king prophecies for once seriously who creates these prophecies anyway an entire body of water disappears and no one sees it or reports it much easier to fund without the water this [ __ ] can detect a straight Dragon Ball under the water but still didn't know where the hell Goku's Dragon Ball was earlier share a strike it's the most basic of all the airbending pay but I could still tell you we're using go hands particular shadow crane strike for some reason even though it is very common also did we have to bring airbending into this isn't that a completely different anime I'm no expert but pretty sure that airbending is something else also movie forces me to remember the last airbender I know Roshi said he needed to become stronger but this is an unnecessary dick move and geez it looks like he's physically fit enough to run this far with hundreds of pounds on his back without even breaking a sweat I doubt he really needed to get stronger if that's the case and well it still should be even if you blind about this place how many people would actually want to make the trick to train here Goku's would-be girlfriend just happens to be whaling on some dude at a remote martial arts training park when Goku walks up haha that is funny another Wilhelm bites the dust' also this guy is practicing his moves on top of the rock in this shot but in the next he practiced something disappearing because that [ __ ] is gone yes I'm like that hey what was it that you wanted to tell me he was an old man and his death barely affected me at all girls are pretty where did this [ __ ] get a coke Mikey's shriveling up oh maybe ki really does have something to do with penis at least this won't be a total waste I got a signal from a Dragonball yeah Dragon Balls are just everywhere they go aren't they also this device only detects them when they need to get the hell out of a scene that's pretty convenient I'm getting a strong signal from a Dragonball only three miles I mean for the update we heard that 40 seconds ago in fishing racket how many people drive down this country road and fall into this trap this is a bad way to make money you have some no marshmallows but I do have a story ironic that a character in this movie has a story but the movie so far doesn't 2,000 years ago damn it he's rehashing the movies opening narration intuitive the Blood Moon will eclipse the Sun he wasted a lot of time back when they were at Roshi's he said they had seven days in seven days the Sun will be eclipsed by the Blood Moon then they decided to go way out to this martial arts nature place which must have taken five days because boma discovered a signal and they fell into the hole shortly after gathering Dragon Balls was the priority but they wasted a whole week trying to give Goku some training he didn't really need also if it took him five days to get to one place that means chichi and Goku are in some serious trouble at school that or they're on spring break or something unless we find the dragonballs and you saw wish to banish piccolo Lee please the goal is to banish piccolo from the earth how did that work last time again oh yeah it didn't Dragon Balls close I think it's buried underground because that's something your little device can tell you he couldn't done this earlier I wasted even more time because this [ __ ] wanted to tell the story we already heard at the beginning [Music] luckily they were captured by a friendly bandit with those very tools I guess yes robbed us wouldn't be able to get this dragon he states explicitly how stupid that is I followed muten roshi as directed he's training the bullies well if you call running around with something heavy on your back training yeah give it life what life well primordial jelly is just lying around waiting for Piccolo's blood to infuse life into it this volcanic wasteland is apparently where they were riding the motorcycle earlier how does a Dragon Ball end up here perfectly sitting on this volcano crag wait there's an army of these things Mia said his blood would give it life sounding like one singular being but there's a whole army here's the underworld school of movie fighting on full display all we know is that asses are kicked into the lava it's a good thing you have a table around then thank you bridge even better their dead bodies form a perfect bridge you need to cross the lava goku punches my and she falls into the pit of characters the protagonist forgets about for no reason he will destroy everything the futures always changing this is a fox movie and i think some of the pages of the star wars trilogy that mixed up with this one on the way to the copier what's a harmless ball touching between Bros clips is in two days we'll never find the other dragonballs in time you're just now figuring this out Doris and all the way to stop piccolo why bother wasting 45 minutes a time telling us these Dragon Balls are the only most important thing and then say no there's another way okay the only chance the whoa test now is hidden toys hey that's exactly where chichi said that fighting tournaments gonna be they dragged poor Ernie Hudson into this didn't they evil henchmen has time to enter a fighting tournament just so she can steal chi Chi's blood also it's pretty amazing they were conveniently paired together in order for this to happen Goku somehow shows up right after my leaves the arena I could enjoy talking to a pure random guy enters the picture he gets to nail emmy rossum you can't have a business-minded hot girl who doesn't want to date that's nonsense all the things that have ever stopped people from kissing in movies this is perhaps the dumbest and most welcome my grandpa always said in order to master my king I have to be a one with myself and with my enemy silliman what that means I'm pretty sure your grandpa didn't know what that meant either every time you light a torch you get to take one step closer to me I'm so certain you want to bone me you'll be shooting ki like it's a tantric money shot you've been holding in for weeks once again even though Goku's mind could not figure out the key the power of boners is stronger also is this being at one with yourself aunt take one step back three more also mine has got to be the clumsiest ninja I've ever heard because those who can light three lanterns in one move should get laid no matter what there are a bunch of people sleeping in this temple but wait a minute that noise is totally suspicious also mine has got to be the clumsiest ninja I've ever heard how did my know to transform into Chi Chi all she knew from the volcano scene was that Goku and crew were going to toys on because she was listening from that thing even if she somehow saw Goku and chichi in the secret martial arts place it takes a huge leap to say I remember that girl chichi and she's gonna be in that fighting tournament I better hightail it down there and enter because then I can steal their blood transform into her and no one will ask questions when I go into the temple also how she wearing the exact same outfit that the real chichi is I mean I could accept the blood transforming thing but where does she get this exact outfit in a pinch when there isn't a gap anywhere in sight for Goku could use the fire extinguishing thing we just saw him use about two minutes ago he bolts for this stupid and the real chichi says nothing in protest this guy is way way bigger than the one she actually got at the tournament o villain weapon that we just saw create a huge fire a minute ago changes to let's keep the hero alive mode there's no real rush to change back into yourself really but there's definitely no real reason to change back just outside the room where there are people we need to kill you it's not your time Goku it's not your time cliche I have the how how do I defeat oozaru always have faith in who you are thanks grandpa I'll be sure to faith that monster to death also why are you so concerned about is aru it's in piccolo the main badass in this movie that was my hell for 2,000 powerful spells that send you deep into the earth let you free without explanation hope you're not trying to impress me oh my how can this gas battle go any farther when he had this thing going past 180 miles an hour why didn't you just do this in the first place crash-landing threw a giant rock and a flying Humvee brings no harm to our heroes whatsoever I've just been in a horrible accident better get into my yellow outfit and [ __ ] Roshi fell out of the Humvee landed on Hard Rock's and then slammed by falling rocks this adventure presents no real danger to anyone except those who watch it there witness to my glory when I compel Shen long grab me the power to rule disease Rock I pretty much already have that power now but I decided I needed to get a magic Keeney dragon to really make it work when the Blood Moon eclipses the Sun you will be common sorry here's another whammy surprise that doesn't make one bit of sense I don't know anything about dragon ball and I'm pretty sure there's it's all over the Dragon Ball universe also this is a ridiculously convoluted plan I feel like oozaru could have lived in the Pacific Northwest as Bigfoot and that would have made more sense than transforming into a baby who only reverts to his true form 18 years later but only if there's a solar eclipse also why did piccolo and his henchmen try to kill Goku so many times in this movie if he was that important and why do people who make prophecies not see something like this you traveled by meteor to hi the most of Burma who exactly set the meteor into motion making sure it landed in the right spot especially when piccolo was in prison deep beneath the earth whoever did this and to make sure it landed precisely 18 years before piccolo would be set free something that was impossible to predict and still hasn't been explained at some point this movie just needs to give me a [ __ ] break powerful ma Fubon tornado still allows its captor to conjure magic while ensnared in it Tashi let me help you saying things the awful bad guy who once was good can be reasoned with and turned back into a good person cliche Oh sovereign can't beat this how about a nuclear bomb good anything to feed him before he had this stupid idea to turn into a meteor baby because I'm still scratching my head about the meteor baby it's possible agreed this movie just ran with that didn't it wait mm okay I can't quite figure out what's wrong with this scene but maybe it's because it looks fake ish it's Megan Bob it's Mike your mistake was talking also this guy survived through sheer movie editing when we last saw him he was getting pummeled by Zaru we didn't see the whole fight so he survived because [ __ ] you that's why to be a one with myself I must be too yeah but that was about mastering your key inche didn't have anything to do with this other nonsense I wish it didn't have to when someone says something about this movie not ending I get nervous my god which requires a ceremony also why did piccolo have to wait until the solar eclipse to make his wish but Goku can make a wish any damn time he pleases the Dragon Balls are gone we have to find them again what kind of [ __ ] is that also this movie thought it was gonna get a sequel I just have to do one thing Goku refers to chichi is a thing relationship you basically just met how is this a relationship right now discount rocky 3 showing the main title again reeks of desperation and refunds movie we long ago walked out on as a bonus scene during the credits queue a movie [Music] normally we never do this we never refer to the original material when we come up with sins for a movie and for the main sins video we kept to that philosophy however considering that Dragonball Evolution is one of the most requested sand videos we've ever had we decided to do some research just this once don't ever get used to it we take you to the things that pissed off the fans of Dragon Ball bonus wrong Goku's hair what happened to Goku's power pole open the story of you some serious power bowling action and Oh chichi does doesn't go hand a famous martial artist and this is just an old dude who know some moves things have gotten better at go hands residents as their small Hut has turned into a large house on some large plantation of some sort where's Goku's best friend Crillon i guess it can't be a lonely teenager if you have even one friend in the movie Goku only cares about fitting in at school and not becoming a crazy fighting badass but turned my into a humorless killer I thought my worked for Emperor pilaf oh well not enough room for two big villains in this movie seriously no antenna what's up with school anyway isn't one of the big things about Goku is that he doesn't have much of an education the only time this [ __ ] ever wants to hone his keys when chi Chi's around and this guy didn't really even like Chi Chi in the manga although if she look like Jamie Chung that would have turned things around this what we didn't have the balls to have Goku as the great eight step on and kill his own grandfather Ouma has blue and purple hair right not just one silly streak of blue hair uh so she knows way more about the Dragon Balls than she does in the movie what was up with that Ouma is definitely no fighter but the movie would have you believe that she is her wish was to have a boyfriend not money and fame we actually would have given credit the movie for that change but then she falls in love with mantra for no reason when the movie Roshi is not bald and looks way younger than go hand his suppose its student in the effort to keep a PG movie row she's perversions are kept in check jeongja also wants to make money with these Dragon Balls not cure his shyness of course this [ __ ] is in no way shy in the movie look at what this [ __ ] is wearing in the movie piccolo creates minions using blood not eggs also whereas kids tambourine and cymbal and drum Dante is a major fighter character turned into comic relief in this movie also wears his sword in the movie Rosie's master is Sifu Norris when it's really master bowtie too also Russia never doubted Piccolo's existence calling the Kamehameha airbending Goku is such a badass in the original material he didn't need boners to pull off the kamehameha he just did it because that's what Goku does Ola is quick to pull that gun out isn't she she should be way more hesitant Mike and shape-shift the kamehameha brings Goku back to life even though it has no healing properties whatsoever in the movie piccolo wants to rule the world or something but not become young again now we know why this is really stupid Goku came to earth in a spacecraft in the manga and in this he comes to be a meteor which of course is dumb as hell remember when I said this scene probably all over the Dragon Ball series here are the reasons it's wrong transformation in the movie requires no tail mazaru is way smaller than the great ape that goku can turn into the great ape is turned into a character named whose aru and works for piccolo who has no affiliation with great apes a solar eclipse makes the transformation possible rather than the moon the mokuba is a total [ __ ] in this movie I never dies in the series but evil always has to be punished in the movie Goku easily defeats the normally extremely tough piccolo in this movie yep I thought this was stupid he can only be summoned by this dumb incantation beikoku whereas usually just yelling out his name would do the trick Shenron is a big character and he gets no speaking lines just grants a wish and then disappears and finally the Dragon Balls don't turn to stone in this movie also they just get lost rather than being unable to be used for a year which makes way more sense than this bullet [Music] it's over nine so listen why don't you turn around walk away no even know you were here are you deaf McFly beat it no Biff you leave her alone why you're asking for it [Music] [Music] watch uses heavenly stuff that you stick forever my name is Neil yes how the key-maker at the lane field you Boris you're found a way to make the time pass up dear [Music] something my grandfather taught me you do not talk about Fight Club I like children for breakfast never I'm a lot dragon my name is Falcon

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 9,878,023

Keywords: everything wrong with dragonball evolution, dragonball evolution, cinemasins dragonball, wave jockey job, cinema sins dragonball evolution, everything wrong with, cinemasins, cinema sins dragonball, everything wrong with dragonball, dragonball evolution review, cinema sins

Id: GzIraLLe7U8

Length: 22min 20sec (1340 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 05 2014