Everything Wrong With Suicide Squad In 20 Minutes Or Less

easy comics boy for a black site they're very specific about its location gee I wonder if any male character will be able to own this female prisoner character Harley steals the Juliette Lewis from Natural Born Killers Garen watching monitor was preoccupied with Chinese food or Pizza cliche playing sympathy for the devil during the introduction of the main [ __ ] of the movie shows that this movie's [ __ ] is really the biggest [ __ ] of the movie bad news mr. Eyre we've blown the entire soundtrack budget inside four minutes of the movie take the rest of what you need out of my salary um fair more songs you heard me god damn it the world changed when Superman flew across the sky not the main character starts narrating four minutes into the picture the opens a restaurant named after a recurring bug infestation was just like naming your restaurant brood X or even malaria carriers Superman who shared our values this sounds like something a person would say who hadn't seen Man of Steel in Batman V Superman at least if our values include not murdering thousands of innocent civilians no no pictures that Task Force X project of yours again are you you guys didn't discuss this before you set up this meeting at the swanky restaurant Floyd Lawton aka Deadshot we saw Deadpool and decided it wanted some of that sweet sweet graphic credits love only in the process it forgot to be funny so we're left with stylized character introductions without soul this will be introduced us to both Deadshot and Harley Quinn in the first minute but now we're getting second introductions of them before we've even gotten to the new characters yet seems like this movie could have started with Viola Davis and cut out all the creepy guard bullsh as Deadshot great with guns because he naturally has amazing hand-eye coordination or is because he has this incredible scope that lines everything up for I just gave an anonymous chip to the right guy in Gotham City an anonymous tip about what if you followed his daughter to get him why didn't you arrest him on your own it just seems like a spot where you wanted to introduce Batman into the movie would you put him let's just say put him in the hole and throw away the hole well no no he's in a regular ass maximum security so that line makes it sound like he parallax Tim first off the murder of Robin is played like some trifling thing that we get a blip of text about second off this is the second movie in the DCU this year to hint at a Robin die story that would have been way better than the two movies we actually got she thought she was curing him but she was falling in love but why because he's so handsome or because she never should have been certified to treat Asylum patients in the first place due to her own insanity and even though she fell for him it's still kind of hard to believe she got him a machine gun I'm just gonna hurt you really really badly badly Jesus it's like playing cards with my sister's kids Joker has his girlfriend strip dancing in this club seemingly only to invite fools to covet her too much or call her a bad [ __ ] so Joker can kill them at the risk of sounding doubly sexist if you're this jealous why let your lady strip dance in the club yo Wow for a major metropolitan city Gotham's River has some clean ass water also Joker flat out abandoned his woman to save his own skin that may be in character for him but it's still a dick move worthy of sinning also somehow Joker managed to crash this car into the water find a way out of the car and swim out of the view of Batman before Batman jumped into the water which if you recall was right after they crashed I don't care how crazy you are there is no way you can somehow crash into the water then have the wherewithal to pull out your knife and fake unconsciousness for future Batman killing after being threatened by a tiny knife from a woman that's trapped in the drowned car Batman decides the best course of action is to treat her like the producers of this movie treat the audience then as the Aussie Hugh Jackman Mel Gibson Crocodile Dundee did the Hartness the problem was doing a comic book movie where the general public only knows like one of your major characters is that you end up wasting the first third of your film doing stupid introduction montages oh they dragged Tom Hardy into this didn't they no wait they hired Wray Courtney into this didn't they the flash shows up to thwart this one burglar I'm sure there was a better use of his time and I have no idea how he knew this place was being wrong but franchise got a franchise you know movie contains approximately 32 gratuitous shots of steak eating this is but one of the least constant close-ups of eating or symptomatic of a fetish at this point archaeologist dr. June June moon June moon what a merry Glary or Pam's a more loosey-goosey she opened something she shouldn't have something evil that like parallax had been buried slightly in the earth but not really all that hidden so as to keep anyone from ever finding it also is everyone with a PhD in this movie unprofessional we've got psychologist Harley Quinn falling in love with the Joker of all people and now we have dr. June moon deciding to crack open a statue she finds during some sort of solo archaeological dig also this which character is almost exactly the same thing as apocalypse in the x-men movie that came out this year some say the witch has a secret buried heart whoever finds it can control the winch which she conveniently left behind after being released from her statue for some reason also this whole thing brings up more questions than it answers wait how did you first run into enchantress what was she doing that alerted you to her presence and if so how did she not already take over the world with her powers yet how did you know she came from this remote jungle since dr. moon explored this cave by herself every character in this movie has a backstory let's see Ben on what they were doing at the time they were caught on this one we have to take it on blind faith you want to put our national security in the hands of witches gangbangers and crocodiles this guy would be excellent at cinemasins kind of red flag it's almost 20 minutes and still introducing characters I assigned him to watch dr. moon and just as I hoped it got personal I left everything to trancey and it worked brilliantly I had the witch's heart and dr. moon has his now he'll follow my orders as Holy Writ yeah so that's how you got him to follow you orders but that doesn't mean you can get all these other people to follow them are you gonna find a few more love witches to control Deadshot Diablo and Jai Courtney flying men and monsters this is the only way to protect our country I have heard your proposal and it still sounds pretty stupid to me let's get a whole bunch of untrustworthy people some of what you have minor powers and others who simply have tremendous human skill to try and fight something like Colossus sure that'll work also patently false you've already seen the Batman bring in like half these metahuman villains anyway right and Superman still exists pretend dead as he may be for now the only way the only way in case she confused it for the Pentagon Cleveland what if Superman had decided to fly down rip off the roof of the White House who would have stopped him a bunch of psychotic supervillains turned government heroes of course I want to build a team of some very bad people who I think can do some good nope the end the next war will be fought with these metahumans some of these villains aren't metahumans though right am I missing something got a guy on this team who robbed banks and two guys who are good with weapons then there's a guy who can set fires with his hands but that only makes him marginally better than a nine-year-old drew Barrymore you know we can't control these people Amanda will now demonstrate how she can control this one person who was possessed by a witch and translate that into controlling everybody as we see dr. moon turned into enchantress I will once again ask how she was possessed by this witch in the first place but was able to control it enough to get back to the States blab about it and be compromised enchantress has the power to instantly teleport to Iran and steal plans from a vault but not to steal her heart back so that Amanda can controller and sure later they show the case has some sort of sensor on it but that seems to be where the case is closed and otherwise unguarded not that this should matter to a witch you can transport in didn't lead to wherever she wants I moved to authorize Manoir to establish Task Force X maybe just the witch well we really need is the witch I think Oh burrito Daniel that's triple racist movie repeats itself down to the stupid close up up Diablo they showed just before the wide shot of all his destruction they say you never missed a shot prove it because whoever they are I definitely don't trust them Deadshot is definitely awesome shooting and no one should doubt he'd be great in a gun battle but are you telling me there's nobody on this earth who isn't a criminal who can get at least close to what he's doing here psychotic antisocial freaks it makes no sense Rick Flagg would also be excellent at cinema since this movie is full of people who should be working for us without you minding her your lady friend stays here strapped to a board and a drug-induced coma this movie literally has no good guys while I do believe Joker is OCD enough to create this circle of knives this is clearly a case of someone thought of a cool looking shot so they put it in the movie even if it didn't make sense this is worse than V for Vendetta dominoes in the previous scene Joker's henchmen only knew that people were being taken to a black site and that's only new to finding the main guy who guards there in compromising it Patriot Suites Hotel is totally holy God lightning over the Washington Monument is lightning hogging the bed I can hear the director on set okay walk to the window look out pensively now nosh on the chicken leg like at your last meal and cut perfect rick flagg is calling but her phone is on silent for some reason even though she's worried enough to keep her gun nearby Amanda brings Enchantress's brother statue with her wherever she goes appearantly [Music] waitwhat since they worship something that something has to destroy them couldn't she destroy the world in a million other ways that aren't nearly as fallible I still don't know how this witch possession works these subway cars are being incinerated yet random people are running past all this on the subway platform without being affected by it whatsoever the first non-human entity ever attacks Midway City and instead of calling Batman who we apparently hate because he's a vigilante we call The Suicide Squad entirely made up of law-breaking dick holes makes sense also this is exactly what we created task force x4 to protect us against the which we put on Task Force X Joker found the facility where they make the nanite explosives that are shunned by the suicide squads NEX also he can save his girlfriend it got that information from Griggs the sleazy security guard at the prison facility but how the [ __ ] could he know where they made that that's like asking an employee McDonald's worth the cattle for these burgers raised and then I'm telling you the exact ranch where their captain a few things he sure they broke into the lab but why would they be able to hack into the government stuff just because they did that and wouldn't the slab which is a company owned by Wayne Enterprises report they got robbed or Batman would find out that got robbed and he'd tell the government about the security breach so having Enchantress's heart really doesn't mean when her brother can just do this right we won't define how much power that is or if you sharing it makes you any weaker but just roll with it and lo the unexplained goddess did thusly begin her equally unexplained plan to build an unexplained machine to wipe out someone and lo and such I saw this movie before it was called Man of Steel and independent state 2 with a sprinkle of Spider Man 2 I saw it at the Museum but modern both were sending in the fire guy the crocodile guy the crazy chick and the guy who shoots lots of bullets we're pretty sure this will work somehow what on earth would make you think that this event happened a few minutes ago and everything you've tried so far has been hilariously inept the voices is that what they really said the voice is really said to a band in the Brooklyn accent she'd previously had for a few scenes military dude uses a knife to cut open the sack when there's a perfectly good zipper right there let them slip not a man can climb anything is literally all the character development this movie will give this [ __ ] before killing him suddenly but even if that hadn't been the case I descend the fact that the great climber guy was named like he's an uncapable prisoner what the climbing walls and slipping knots have to do with one another also I got a guy who can climb that's his power Superman eat your heart out you're next Jackson you got its a nanite explosive it seems to me that Amanda could have simply told the powers-that-be that she would stick a nanite explosive in their necks to control this task force rather than going with the I've got Enchantress's heart so their method of convincing the government about her power if they didn't understand the nanite explosive thing she could have simply said I'm basically ripping off Escape from New York and that would have been the end of it barely John Williams was unavailable to score this movie so instead they led a 10th grader that was high on mushrooms randomly picked the soundtrack well we some kind of Suicide Squad this is the most roll credits in roll credits that has ever credits to delay this last-minute chick gets a rushed flashback backstory and movie thinks I'm gonna give a [ __ ] about her and movie is wrong this is good of course that's her name any relation to the Mortal Kombat katana her sword sounds like we should have recruited her for this task force rather than a bunch of criminals it's great the Joker is coming for but where did she hide this phone during this and how the hell did Flag allow these prisoners soldiers to go on search between the prison and the start of their mission that's bad soldiering right there it tells you relax this is only the third least believable survivable helicopter crash in this movie slipknot introduced a mere eight minutes ago is already dead luli offers a new entry into the most useless and forgettable villains for the good guys to mow down contest instantly challenging the Kree from the Avengers and the zombies from I am Legend these faceless creatures are dragging flags somewhere instead of just killing him because they know they need to give Deadshot or somebody time to save him no doubt Deadshot is badass but I don't see why a bunch of trained soldiers can't do this very same thing he's random monsters that just appeared out of nowhere and have never been explained in the movie are proof they need Deadshot but I'm not buying it she kisses him and he becomes a black bubbly soldier my question is did she kiss every one of the dozens of black bubble heads we just saw Deadshot kill in the previous scene cuz that's a la kissing these mannequins perfectly represent the relationship I have with my daughter Joker texts without internal punctuation and is basically my aunt tilly out of this alien [ __ ] no Harley was in the elevator then jumped down into the elevator with her to fight he realized this thing would have to manually open an elevator door to access one of the work panels to get into the elevator shaft right so these were just stored in the ceiling okay I'm sorry I'm always thinking of the process by which they turned these guys evil then pulled out a bunch of ladders told them to go through the ceiling tiles and told them the we for the Suicide Squad to show up then like always movies aren't concerned with your perspective of this battle they all know you like loud noises and the illusion of something exciting and that's what they call an action scene these days this [ __ ] does nothing for most of the Second Battle in a row man yes I know he eventually saves the day but is there nothing he can offer between zero and saves the day this guy apparently needs to be goaded into using his powers now he realized why Diablo was conscientiously objecting to using his powers it didn't have anything to do with killing his girlfriend that's because he's one of the most powerful characters in this movie and he could have made the last 15 minutes go by in five does chemically altering your appearance require this mega dye from super high up in a building I'll take scenes we only included because we hired an a-lister to play Joker and felt obligated for 800 Alex seriously everybody is gone after that flashback except for Deadshot who has been the leader of this thing for the entire mission you did flag or somebody would be concerned about them not being with the group but you'd be wrong so the mission was to save Amanda all along and I guess enchantress and her army here because she needs them to get her heart but I don't really know why it feels like she could have zipped in and out of this place herself if she wanted to even if she was building some sort of machine and I'm not sure how her army would have been able to find a secret stairway and punch the secret code to access this room anyway and I guess Amanda didn't tell them they were coming to save her because of something something proved their loyalty this movie doesn't lay clear any of the motivations for the characters so we have to take stabs what the plot is about she takes an average person and she turns them into a soldier who can take a headshot and still fight not really they're pretty awful army wise they might do well at one of those haunted houses where the employees can touch you though what the these people all knowingly worked for a clandestine agency and presumably had some level of clearance or basic trust there is no reason to shoot them all over this hell you got permission from your bosses to run this suicide squad right that is just a mean lady yeah movie this is the time for one-liner jokes just after the unnecessary murder of several innocents murder then one-liner that's the comedy formula lead forth by Jerry Lewis I think first eject it's not important for you to know how the Joker hijacked this military helicopter just know that he did and be content that he's Joker and can do anything not a joke earnest men ensure they don't hit any good guys by firing this way even if Joker did all these things to save Harley what a terrible plan this is she could easily be killed of course that might not be a consideration for him but considering everything he's done so far it's ridiculous he didn't wait for a better opportunity the military bombs the out of this helicopter and they all survived and god dammit I have to put up with to make sense videos and then Harley survives this fall Jesus Christ I've started to think the safest location in this movie is in a crashing helicopter why even have a helicopter crash if everybody's gonna survive all of them this movie is a series of helicopter crashes and people eating large pieces of meat also you survive a helicopter crash and you survive a helicopter crash and after watching what she thinks his Joker dying in a chopper crash Harley understandably goes down to street level and pounced on the roof of a car in the rain because that's just what you do in these situations okay Harley has had her bomb disconnected is presumed dead and could go wherever the she wants why is she sticking around to eventually go back to torture prison is my heart returned I can finish my weapon yeah because before you couldn't get that done for some reason you the feeling someone on the set was like isn't she super powerful why hasn't she finished her weapon if she clearly has the power to do it and then somebody said let's make it seem like she needed her heart all along to do it and that'll shut him the [ __ ] up when does this end flak character inside the movie says out loud what everyone watching it is thinking what we almost pulled it off no you didn't he killed a bunch of bubbly monsters and briefly rescued a psychopath that is going to put you right back in prison that's not pulling at all that's participating in a LARP and put the battery phone I'm taking my kids to Mom's thought I married a nice man with demon tattoos all over his head face in 75% of his body yes this guy's back stories that he got mad at his wife for scolding him for criminal activity and then he burned his family that's the back story and this character deserves no second chances even though the movie gives him one wasn't she already free of the nanite explosives anyway you're not a write to you every day and I hand selected seven of those daily letters to include in this small bundle also emotional moment yes but flag was traveling and doing combat this whole movie with these letters stuffed in his chest just in case my daughter is gonna note it hurt daddy it's not a piece of except for all those people I killed for money I can't take that back but killing a which gets me points though Captain Boomerang there was a boomerang which apparently it doesn't boomerang at all but flies like a drone into Enchantress's lair and has a camera on it that broadcast through his phone as a flooded tunnel leads right underneath that building because Killer Croc has been worthless up at this point so there's a flooded tunnel now so his character could actually do something killed her husband use that sword yeah but who the [ __ ] cares man you don't fight with us what if I lose control are we still debating about this did Diablo do something good earlier shouldn't he be over this by now I mean not the killing his wife gets part but the using fire for good part so that's your old lady huh well you need to handle this I get up there smack on our ass tell her knocked it off this movie is so aggressively misogynistic but it briefly hosted Access Hollywood I've been waiting thank you alright didn't chantry's just now realize the Suicide Squad was here what exactly are her detecting powers did this take some time or was she just letting them think they were Hardy and I know what you want loopy will now waste time showing us what a few characters really want and won't pay any attention to what I want which is for the movie to end this dude suddenly has horrible aim with his tentacle things after wiping out most of the human race he interacted with before this also why did a chant respond with all that what everybody really wants bulls and not just send this guy in behind them to destroy them in the first place there is no way you've bonded to these [ __ ] in a few days time and have to consider them family UJ Hernandez's character whose name I forgot let me show you what I really am nor would it have been nice to know this character could Voltron into a super tall fire gone before now yes yes it would but that would have spoiled the X Malcolm I'll be honest Killer Croc is underwater fighting bad guys I've forgotten why or who or how but I understand Killer Croc to be a water based bad guy and therefore I accept the existence of this scene even as I sin it's forgettable Ness this fight would really be interesting if we had any clue about their powers or the stakes or the rules or anything resembling a plot my took you long enough you got your heart back a couple of hours ago feels like the stupid machine should be killing fools by now well there goes HBO again it's a secret facility Oh fight against all-powerful which devolves into hand-to-hand combat because of course it does damn I thought we were gonna run out of time but then we managed to find one more way to have a dude punch a woman in the face oh look Killer Croc finally made it to the battle after so many minutes of whatever that's been doing that is indeed of a Jenica and I'd be just as offended as a moviegoer of hardly was a dude and this was a kick to the balls actually this movie is basically a kick in the balls and a Rob Schneider cameo away from being an Adam Sandler movie and yeah she could have done this like five minutes ago right that enchantress can't tell Harley as [ __ ] and doesn't notice the sword right next to it hey here's something to do after the entire movie of you being worthless thanks for being nearby this entire scene is done in slow motion for a whopping 90 seconds so that the agony can be greater during watching it oh and all this chick was pretty worthless during this movie name one thing she did you know one person who could end this mess right now Harley whose neck thing doesn't work anymore but did this movie forget about that I guess it did or Harley just doesn't want to help or something in this one movie alone that Joker has been a red herring a MacGuffin and an ex machina this is crown jewels hey mr. Wayne end credits sequence is so much like the Nick Fury Avengers [ __ ] that you might as well copy and paste the Marvel into this DC product you can do it the matrix is telling my brain that it is juicy and delicious ignorance is bliss whoa did I fight you didn't mean to

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 16,250,941

Rating: 4.823514 out of 5

Keywords: dc, mistakes, movie, suicide squad, eww, cinemasins, wave jockey job, cinema sins, review, everything wrong with

Id: NH5YLq412Wc

Length: 20min 23sec (1223 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 10 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/Jord4nnn]

I'm sad that they forgot to sin Enchantress for saying "Go ahead, you don't have the balls." Like seriously, you're thousands of years old, and those are your dying words?

[u/dr_volberg]

How did you miss the fact that they have cameras in space which are filming the satellites blowing up.

[u/Golden_Jiggy]

Return to form. Really great video

[u/[deleted]]

So glad I wasn't the only one noticing the kick in Harley's vagina (-_-) Again a very nice video and great sinning.

So I guess you're now some kind of ... CinemaSins ?

[u/Isaac_Chade]

Just watched this movie the other day, god damn was it a train wreck. It's the first time in years I have been so bored with a movie that I was only barely watching it, and only finished it because I paid to rent it in the first place.

So many things that went wrong, but for me the biggest one is that there's a perfectly good, at least better than this, animated movie in Assault on Arkham. Some touch ups to make it live action, change some of the cast to fit who they used if you want, and you'd have a solid movie.

Great video nonetheless. Hopefully Wonder Woman can end the current pattern of shitty DC movies.

[u/TheNittles]

This movie was a pile of garbage, but I think it deserved to have at least one sin removed for Jai Courtney getting up and immediately walking out of the bar. Then give two sins for him coming back.

Also, unrelated to sins, but Harley's "What you truly want," scene would have been a million times better if it was a normal happy life, like what was shown, but there was a dead Batman on the table with a Joker smile drawn on or something.

[u/[deleted]]

Suicide Squad obviously sucked donkey balls. This clip however is brilliant! Thanks CinemaSins!!

[u/G1gas]

I laughed SOO hard at lunch watching this. I maintained a semi-straight-face until Katana was talking to her sword and Jeremy said "Yeah, but, do we really give a fuck?" Comedy Gold.

[u/FreshPizzarrhea]

The one thing that stood out in my mind that wasn't sinned was who or what shot down their helicopter in the first place. They never explained it.