Eric Stonestreet & the Six Point Five | TigerBelly 89

guess what guys what's up man Mother's Day is coming out mhm and I have some photos that I wanna frame I don't know where to go I have an idea frame bridge calm right now what that is don't hold back yeah don't hold back it's a place where you can print and frame it's like a one-stop shop for all photo gifts yeah and you know what I highly recommend it because it's like I went to a frame shop once and I drop it off we'll have it to you in two weeks I was like no this isn't actually the truth he's not there's not a like all the artwork I do a lot and so now I go to frame bridge and it's quick how quick like real quick and with us you get 15% off so what's the Mother's Day special well the Mother's Day special is that George talks about Mother's Day every year don't you love your mother George well the key is don't be I'll tell what is it don't get stuck searching for last-minute gift order now for Mother's Day Delivery 15% off your first order and free shipping okay oh man I forgot my mom's a birthday so I think I need to do something for her now that's a good idea so guys make sure you go to frame bridge calm and use the promo code belly and you'll save an additional 50% off your first order so go to frame bridge calm promo code belly and that is one more time frame bridge calm from get hungry [Music] three two one everyone clap your hands clap them like you just don't care everyone okay don't even [ __ ] know the [ __ ] [ __ ] you're right you're right anyway well welcome to Tiger belly my name is Captain Bob Lee and we have kalila George's here Gilbert's here and let me tell you something right now um I was afraid to ask this next guy to do the podcast because he's gone into a different threshold of existence and he used to be with the with me we're still together I guess no we're just you know make comedy compadres you know and um he's moved on to a different level and I'm so happy that he's here his name is Eric Stonestreet Eric's toast with everybody from the Modern Family yes yes we're just gonna do the Asian accent no [Laughter] you taught me I know I taught him how to do an Asian accent and also I'm only impersonating you in person and the reason why I asked I got the balls because you know Eric Texas me once a year twice a year and he sent me this photo it says it's it's a photo of the Hollywood ball and it says the Korea Times presents 2017 Korean Music Festival and then he just put fYI like for like I'm gonna [ __ ] buy tickets I don't like like the Rolling Stones yeah like you would just be given tickets Kitty backstage pass pass first of all can I just say this and you know this that I'm an American just like you are you a little bit because when you came to the house would you say this is nice no I didn't say that I know well so that was because you saw this to choose yeah I wanted to be respectful I [ __ ] hate when people make you take off your shoes when you go to riot do you make people do that no I would never really make you do that and then when you drove you go we would you say bigot irrigated people have to know our relations okay are really hard to business Eric and I we we joke around right and we have uh we have an open kind of a comedy relationship where we could say whatever to each other yeah correct and so when I pulled into your parking garage you said what you say this is a very expensive car yeah yeah I was just saying I want to make sure it's a but I didn't have to say that I know I know and then um I'd like to talk about the beginning yeah of you and I I'll be interested to see what if your story matches my story I think that I met you at the commercial audition for Pepsi one for Pepsi for Michael Bay the one he directed well what happened was yeah when I were in like room downtown yeah in that Lobby la center studio right and we were looking each other do we say I don't think anyone said hey I'm Bobby and I'm era I think we just were friendly to each other yeah but we knew that there was one part yeah and then they were bit and when you were going for the same part so you were the last two right yeah weird their life they had released one guy who I always felt like I always felt bad for the guy that was like thank you so much yeah because I was that guy plenty - yeah I know you were [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] you [ __ ] you and so we look each other you I did said he would go in and so now Michael Bay is sitting there with like four or five guys and they look cool yeah that well there ya are Co the are cool right there sitting there their legs you know they they cross their legs and sit like this yeah their hairs perfect her hair is perfect and I swore to [ __ ] god all I heard was cross like laughter oh and then when you know you know you got this guy he's probably the best he is I'm not gonna get it but I went in there I did okay yeah I heard laughter when you went into yeah yeah and then they would bring Erick back in right and back and forth yeah and they would bring him back in and she was like a little kind of a laughs ah it was brutal it was brutal yeah yeah and then they brought us in together well don't you remember we were both sitting there they were both in there out in the lobby or whatever yeah and at that moment in time we probably were talking it's like dude this is weird like whoever gets it whatever yeah yeah yeah and then they pop their head out there like we'd like you to both come in right we just never happens and didn't they just kind of hire us right there they did yeah yeah you're gonna be the guy yeah you're both are gonna be the guy but then it became when we actually did the job go on it was a disaster for me deep water number one it was a Super Bowl commercial yeah yeah it was so it's big yeah yeah it was a spoof on Goldilocks and the three bears right and Kim Cattrall was Goldilocks and and Bobby and I were the towel boy towel boy right and you have to understand this and Eric's worked with me a couple of times on different things it's a I'm a dis I'm I was young and yeah I don't know why you're tense I tell you the panic that I get all those things right they're real this is a reoccurring nightmare you're not they're not yeah yeah it is I still talk about it I do too yeah so it's like I when I get big jobs and a room big people I panic and I go through the you know people that are fans of the podcast know how weird I am and that all is real yeah it is real so what I've the nice side of me has always told you that it's misplaced because you are not in those places by accident you are that challenge at all thank you you need to fall back on that every once in a while except when I'm giving you [ __ ] yes and it's really nice that you would say that I'm about to cry that you said something like that but anyway let's move on from there yeah let's not go yes I get to [ __ ] comfortable so do you remember though how difficult it was for me to because we're shooting the commercial and Michael would come over and say all right is the light thing gonna go off this time and then the cameras gonna be on the track right and it's gonna do this and then we're gonna do that all right and then he would look at me and be like all right you're hilarious just keep doing what you're doing you Bobby stay in the [ __ ] light if I can't see your face you're not gonna be on camera do you understand that and it just would berate Bobby yeah and then compliment me the best thing and then I was a bit no no no boy he grabbed my face he grabbed my he went from behind the camera Michael Bay grabbed my face and go to light the light right I mean I kept looking at Eric oh this is the worst but to be fair like why couldn't you just because I never really I mean that was like what my third or fourth job yeah but oh my god so we had to do this a little bit funny comedy thing where I would peek around the corner and then Bobby would peek underneath me or I would peek down and then Bobby would peek correct you know yeah you know this kind of yeah and you could never get your face in the light and then do you remember what else happened when we were shooting that commercial - no I'm not a better ad about oh yeah I know Michael Clarke Duncan showed up yeah so we're having lunch right there's lunch yeah and now at this point I'm just I mean I'm not outwardly saying it but I'm sure he's nude I was just this is the worst I hate it you know and I quit whatever right and then we're having lunch and then this out of nowhere a gigantic gorilla gorilla we can sell it was because he was in Planet of the Apes he came in in full full me we're not calling Michael okay oh my god he would say this article ruler we saw second city this one yeah from Wrigley though oh yeah I live there for two years yeah yeah was a he came into real estate when he said that when you said that Wrigley Field he wasn't that impressed man but I get mo you hell hole it's like next to ideal way to pump the brake so yeah he came in and everyone Michael like touching his and he made him like do a cry yeah yellow eyes yeah amazing anyway that commercial didn't run that much and then but here's what do you remember this well at the end of the commercial go on you and I are standing next to each other mm-hmm Kim Cattrall walks up to you would you remember this and says you're gonna be a very big star she said that to me yes and what did she say to you she looked at me said nothing and walked away things happen with me though no so you guys have this picture where you're dressed as mimes where's that from oh that's where you're sitting on my lap an IBM commercial knows another I've been bank robbers yeah so you guys were like a duo for a while you guys just ran I think in the late nineties yeah we ran there was like 10 guys that booked every commercial hmm yeah yeah I mean I would book I mean I literally booked 20 in a year how many job hit commercial did you do how many like forever yep from do your whole career just if you don't know Joe pica is the he's like the Steven Spielberg of commercial director yeah he's you when you book it Joe pick a job you're gonna go through hell I mean at least I did but you're gonna make a shitload of money yeah and he's he likes finding people that he likes and can trust and yeah it works with him and he just keeps casting him and I was lucky enough I think in 2000 maybe 2002 booked my first America one with him which was an American Express commercial and I think between men in 2007 I did like 60 every what do you were in Italy shooting well yeah of a country right yeah it was shooting a commercial for IBM in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the Leaning Tower of Pisa tumbled crashed to the ground and the commercial ran exactly two times on nine nine and nine ten of 2001 what happened at eleven Bobby oh [Laughter] yeah so the that commercial never really really did much yeah by in retrospect it was a exactly yeah yeah I got to go to Italy yeah and you I remember one night you said you had to pick I mean he was he was nice to you right very nice yeah but to me it was nice to you too he kept hiring you that means he likes you I know but the things you would say though well did you don't bring those on at all examples I think that's what you just said right now it could have been a spiritual awakening just now really cuz in many ways I like to blame people mm-hmm but I have to look at my behavior you do and and I have to I have to look at the things that I say and enzyme and do and things I invite and you know what that's to say to you my friend you could be right about that but he did system crazy [ __ ] yeah like what ching-chong I'm not even real ching-chong get on your mark yeah yeah yeah but I've heard him say he doesn't discriminate he doesn't ya know he says crazy things about a lot of things yeah and he's the best in the business and I made a lot of money and they thank you so much mr. fitta yeah he's so much he is really literally one of the people responsible for me to be able to be in the position to even get a job like modern family because when I would go into auditions because of working for him consistently I was you know secure I like I felt secure and I felt like I had confidence because I had a few Duckett's in the bank and I didn't have to go in there with desperation pouring out of my pores yeah yeah you're right I mean he was like I did one job for him an IBM job I made three hundred thousand dollars for one job and this is in 1999 no I didn't make that much on one which one was that it was the juggernaut with the space suit one Oh with me that was a huge huge campaign yeah yeah yeah so I just I'm just grateful for yeah yeah yeah for all that and even when I was on Matt I did the bank robber on with you remember yeah at the same time yeah that was great I was a great one that's when we did that I forgot about that one yeah that's with me a little that's the one you're talking about where he's sitting on my lap or something yeah yeah yeah yeah we are I'm wearing a little pork pie hat yeah yeah and then you did a completed like a couple of mad sketches right me one one you with you and Ike with me and Ike Barinholtz I knew like from Chicago yeah I knew you from here and then you know what I also remember as week we'd go did like Steve and I would go to that Brazilian what that Brazilian oh my god in Burbank yeah which one is it that sure is Korea yeah it's a trois Korea is called meet I can't remember what it's called it's over in the media center like downtown Burbank but yeah we went to there and remember you just do the green light right then you ate so much do I recall you being mad at me because I did an interview or something where I said that I call Eric Stonestreet to get me like good restaurants no I would never be mad why would I I think you gave me [ __ ] was it you or not somebody not me it was it yeah when did you do an interview like Korean I did like I did like a some sort of like interview and I said that where do you get because I remember I talked to you I said I bought tinder I thought a lot more tender than I said I heard about this we have to delve into it yeah in a sec number I taught you about tinder yeah you did and you got offered in you know I did get off of it yeah well after a while is the same old same names like hey it's like a game it was not I mean meeting people because I really meet people off the dating apps but just swiping people's pictures it just feels like I'm playing some sort of game and you because it's Halloween years yeah but did you go on any dates on it yeah yeah of course but it was cool for really go for a while yeah oh yeah you you you definitely got me going on that yeah cuz I heard that way did you really yeah I didn't see I missed my chance sure we'd be doing this podcast together a big 70 commercial yeah more IBM than him I think I used to kill it like he used to you miss to us it passed I know he's killing it now but like even but I mean you have to imagine a guy who you know you don't really know his name but you just know when he walks into a commercial you know auditioning room you go oh [ __ ] that guy but I feel that people thought that about me I think they do I think they do because I've heard other people say yes those who used to come in and he used to get it and then you know men I hope they never get nice there were guys that didn't get would go in and never got any yeah so you imagine going in to 50 of them and then seeing you at half of them and then you're on half of those in his head is like that guy's a beast but there were people like that when I moved out here that I would see in every commercial yeah I would walk in it took a while for me to get to be considered that guy god you're really humble or not I am I think say you are yeah what were you doing immediately before you got cast on Modern Family um commercials like mostly just commercials I had done a few guest stars leading up in that year on TV shows where I had killed killed a few people Bobby knows my dark side yeah but he also was on movies like almost famous it was in that yeah at a small apartment yeah but Stewart yeah I'm yet to imagine when I was watching that movie back in the day but I was in one of my down you know like little thunks as an actor right before modern family you know how we go through those things where you're just like well what do I do now and I was literally in one of those in a friend of mine who I met through Joe Pitka Marshall Bell I don't know if you ever worked with Marshall Bell he's a character actor talks like this he's from Oklahoma makes his teeth a lot and I called him and I was like dude I'm having he's like what else you gonna do man you got traction you're in the business you got to stay whoa he talked me he like talked me down off the good ledge he's like what else can you do well Jesus I guess when you put it that way yeah so and then the audition for Modern Family happened like within that form a four-month window of that period and I read that that whole audition process was a long one for you where they kind of didn't know like who they wanted to cast is that your girlfriend's so much smarter than you she seems good yeah okay okay yeah okay we'll take the [ __ ] stocky so yeah it was well because I was one of the last people that they had cast in the show they had been looking for a while and I did you know for auditions for it which isn't that that unusual but what made my process a little more unusual was that they had done two auditions and they had passed like sent word that like they liked me but it wasn't gonna go any further mm-hm because I knew I knew the casting director and so it was a courtesy call for him calling my manager cuz you know as actors we'd love to know when we're no longer and so we're not sitting at home wondering so he just called and said hey you know they really like Derek but it's not it's not gonna go any further twice they did that to me oh my god so that was what made my process for me a little different and then then you then the third time did you go I'm not gonna go back in or well no then they called out of the blue and said we'll test you so then so I went at once passed then ten days seven days passed and they called back and said come back in dress more appropriately for the character clean-shaven cuz I would roll around that's another thing I was who I loved about you yeah I would never like dirty play the play the game of doctors coat oh yeah I like nature I used to get when I first moved into town like the only Asian one so I'd go to a lobby and saw people in ninja suits yeah in samurai support and I would dress like this yeah I knew it was time for me to start getting thinking about getting out of the commercial business when I went over to an audition in Santa Monica yeah and it called for a guy in a suit and tie and I showed up you know just in like a nice shirt and jeans yeah I wasn't looking like a slob and the guy was like oh what are you here for and I said Sears he's like where's your suit and tie and I said oh do they have the set built in there too he's like what I said did they build the set is the set in there yeah do they have no imagination yeah yeah yeah so I was like I need to back away I'm loose well 12 years of this has come yeah yeah but anyway I was just doing commercials and I remember distinct distinctly shooting the pilot and listening to all my co-stars talking about their careers and the things that they had and that includes the kids on the show and everyone had something that they were either going to do if the show didn't get picked up or that they had turned down to do the show like Julie Bowen was in second position on another pilot Ty Burrell was in second position on another pilot Sofia Vergara had a holding deal at ABC Jesse Tyler Ferguson was going to go to Broadway and play buddy the elf in the musical elf Mario winter who's a brilliant actress she had something that she was going to do Rico was like killing it yeah doing his own thing everybody had something going on and I really remember sitting there thinking I have a Lowe's callback yeah but that was my that was my career up in that to that point and I think I represented so many actors to that point I was the guy who I was the least known adult for sure maybe air and sarah hyland were more recognizable I mean they'd worked more than I had almost probably and that's yeah but can I just say this the argument is this though I don't you said all those names I don't know who do you don't watch the show I doesn't matter wait a minute what no I don't know see that you've never seen modern face okay he's pretty great [ __ ] I know it's good [ __ ] is it too hard for you as you were slipping I saw one time you did that thing we reached the baby up and you did a a Lion King thing that was supposed to be you Bobby went over I saw the hassed on him twice no I saw that you know how you your eye man because that's like coach and I had one of those little TV screens and somebody was next to me seeing that part and then laughing I want to say that's my friend you know me but I didn't but I laughed because the way you did was funny and that's all indicee but what I want to say this he has a hard time watching all either I can't see any but not even yourself but your friends you I just can't do it okay but just can I just say this sure is that I don't know they are that's fine I know the guy from married with children he's in it at Ted Bundy's a murderer but I can I and people that were in the comedy business right know who you are and we think that you were we were always thought I always thought that you were legit yeah and that's what I give a [ __ ] about yeah well then it's like when like um you know one time I was at Barnes and Noble and this is before I met you sweetie and I was with this girl at the shitty day yeah and Chris Rock walked up and said what's up doing give me a hug and that's I don't care about if the variety you mean knows me or whatever I just care that that dude who's in the same business as I am respects me or knows who I am right I mean so I'd rather have that well I would too when you're in that [ __ ] show and they're like show like Modern Family and I know you're saying all those things that's what you're thinking I have Lowe's and this and that at the end of the day but you still had the package of I think the comedy community well that's very nice or is was it like I say one nice thing about you and then you say something nice to me that was really sweet no that's all I was doing okay well I wasn't doing can I thank you for saying something really nice it's like two genuine moments is that a rarity because you're weirded compliment we make you know we always made fun of each other yeah yeah yeah we don't go deep right what yeah no no no yeah it's not like you know your song deeper than I have like with one face is it all yeah you've sent me some pictures that I didn't appreciate I don't say any more about that yeah yeah yeah all right didn't care for that and Wow I see a little resentment still no not resentment revenge no right no I don't want this to turn into that's not on him that's on you for something my bad my bad dude lean back George which is a little bit thank you so much see I'm nervous don't be nervous everyone back up Bobby unsolicited dick fix all the time yeah oh that's not what I'm talking about okay what can I say something how you help me hello I swear God you did this and I don't know if you remember but I was at an audition right yeah and you were on the lot that's where you shoot it right yeah you walked into the lobby right when I was auditioning and I was telling you that was on you go you said something to me you said it doesn't have to be perfect they know that you're a human being that you just got the size you me and just do the best you can you mean don't worry about you know I mean it really put me in a different mental state because I was always in a this when I was on yeah yeah yeah this is your third year or something second year so yeah one Emmy yeah yeah and anyway go on any [ __ ] way it helped me and I tested for that show but I lose literally like it has I get a script I got all the runs of that mode we all get into that mode have to to you know perfect it and what I would tell people is like you want to do the almost the opposite of it when you go in an audition because these people that go in and audition and make it perfect you're you're kind of setting the standard in the the people watching his mind that they think well this is as good as it's going to be this is as good as it can get no he's for a hitch perfect yeah off-book off this and man there's this is the performance right when you want to give the appearance that you're a performer and this is a loose sketch of how good it can be and man wait till you have some time with it wait till you have a costume on wait till you have a prop in your belt wait till you're on set then it's gonna really come alive but these people that go in that are super worried about being polished you're kind of doing yourself a disservice my trick in commercials and I tell people this all the time and it really I think was an important thing is I would be so aloof in a commercial audition I would walk in and I would be like where do you want me to stand yes where okay stand here and Who am I Who am I reading with do you want me to read with you or with you okay are you ready am I ready and then I would just be like and yeah like come to life and take direction and take notes and then it was like a Matt doing a magic trick a little bit in a sense because I would set the expectations low yeah I said in commercial auditions is that the slate you have to pretend that it's silly that you've done it before that you know you're grateful to be there but also I you know I'm a busy guy like you kind of embody those things so I would always make the slate kind of funny I'm sure you would what would you do like would they turn I go which way and outturn backward you know I would do this Oh Eric Stonestreet one more time please Eric Stonestreet can you try without a hesitation Eric Stonestreet okay that's it thank you so much Oh Bobby yes you please ladies I'll cue turn around though you know my anytime I do an Asian guy it's me impersonating you impersonating my dad John stand up yeah you do sometimes come out to see me that's really nice yeah yeah never you called me out in the audience at one point yeah in the main room was it yeah yeah and you don't like that I didn't mind it but that's not my world I guess I've always kind of regretted never pursuing and trying to be a stand-up but you could I mean out of anyone you could have done it well it's funny because you still do kind of a live show I do do a live show like I know that because we have the same agents I used to OCA yeah okay well I'm still there - barelly yeah we should we should do it we should do a show we should do something together yeah yeah but I know that I've talked to the PA department and they go yeah Erik's do in Australia doing these question and answer or Q&A anaise how does that work like this it's like an open format where I'm on stage I come out and I do a little brief introduction of like Who I am and why I'm there and you know you get laughs in those introductions yeah big time yeah because they don't know what they really bought a ticket for so that's yeah I bet you're all wondering what the [ __ ] did you buy a ticket for because they don't ya know and it's a combination of humor instant and sincerity me giving advice what I I found that people are always asking me for my advice on things so and then asking me what it's like to do what I do so I've taken that format and just turned it into kind of improvised stand-up because I get I never know what kind of questions I'm gonna get I do know what some of the questions are so I have built-in answers for those so I've written jokes essentially in my own head because my experience is improv never stand up yeah and so do you do an hour I've done two hours that's amazing yeah I it's exhilarating I love it and it's a meet-and-greet afterwards I'll do a meet-and-greet depending on where the theatre is yeah and what the what the deal is - jellal if I didn't want to do it I wouldn't be there and that's sort of the nice thing about the job I have and that's what I tell people it's like if you see me someplace it's because I want to be yeah I'm here tonight you don't need the bunny yeah because I'm I like you and you wanted to do this like I don't go places I don't want to go and I don't do shows that I don't want to do right right no I mean and it's also gives them like imagine living in a different country and a modern I found was when the biggest that comes right and it's like I mean my all my family's from the Philippines yeah it's huge you do they dub us there do you know English yeah yeah and it's like he's coming to our town yeah yeah I mean I yeah I think it's amazing I like I did like six shows last summer this time of year last last year on the East Coast and I like playing those like 1300 seat theaters like those that you I know you know 2,500 or 250 keep your pants on remember uh the Spaghetti Factory oh my factory story oh really yeah yeah why used to how's yours well you came right who's there uh the only person I really remember being there is you your brother and Ari Shaffir Shaffir yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh because I think he I thought he was funny then yeah I think he's so funny not so funny now this is before he beat the [ __ ] out of me or after did you guys ever make up yeah okay he called me out of the blue that's nice yeah if you guys don't know this a lot of people do Ari Shaffir beat the [ __ ] out of me Revis wrong point where I was bleeding out because he just got tired of your stuff or what no no because of Natasha Leggero Oh what happened I'm going to just tell you the quick story okay um when I was on man do you remember Ron Peterson Canadian guy well I was at the Comedy Store one night and he goes who's that on stage I go that's Natasha Leggero she's hot I could yeah but she lives with Ari Shaffir Ron Petersen goes alright and then I walked away cuz I had another show in the main room whatever and then a couple hours later I was driving him back to the hotel where he was staying and he goes I got her number like oh yeah but he's seeing she's seeing my friend Ari there's a gap but she's gonna go on so she starts like going to like plays with him dinners behind all his back right and then out of nowhere ari calls me she left me dude okay yeah but you could you set them up right I didn't set them up because you can and here's how I know you you did it I go how if you don't do this for me right now this thing I want to ask you to do I know that you set them up whoa what was it that was the thing great show him your penis I know you do that that's free yeah that's a Korean break into something break into his office the guy TV yeah go into his computer and steal the emails between Ron so I go I can't break into his [ __ ] office at MADtv but can I just say the wise you will love you with a little smoke smoke bombs okay not smoke puffs okay still want to correct you and so I go no I'm not gonna do that and he goes didn't you set them up so that Friday I show up at the Comedy Store and I'm checking in at the front counter and he punches me in the face like for real punches this is not a comedy fine comedy joke fight I fall to the ground and he kicks me in the face like 20 times [ __ ] not bleeding I'm bleeding I'm like you know almost you know coma but then as I get up I hear my name being called on stage by stage and I go up on stage and did I talk about it or I only did I only went up for one minute yeah and I go that guy right there you don't mean I'm bleeding from the face like I called him my eyes just air right then I get offstage and the manager goes just I mean he's just emotional I do anything I know all right how cool I am yeah a week later I'm walking down the hallway at the Comedy Store [ __ ] right he starts strangling me in the [ __ ] hallway with this little Jew thumbs in my throat and I don't mean that in a racist way just descriptive yeah but I'm just saying that that's how I thought at the beginning the Baghdad any squeezing and then my neck starts bleeding because he has his nails gouge into my [ __ ] neck so then and then I remember I was dating a comic back then and she was doing a show upstairs Sara did she come to your rescue no she doesn't but I remember going upstairs and my neck is bleeding and she goes why are you crying and why is your neck right I bet that was a turn-on to her I was the beginning of the end yeah sure then the worst thing happened so then unbeknownst to me this is when mind of Mencia was going on okay okay Ari Shaffir had auditioned for mine and Mencia and gotten the part when Carlos Mencia was out of town so he had addition for the producers they had hired him but then when Mesilla caught back in the town he already knew that Ari had attacked me twice and he was looking at like who was performing you know on a show and he saw Ari on it yeah so he called Ari Shaffir and says hey dude um you beat up my friend Bobby so you can't do my show so in all his mind he thought that I had called oh no here comes the third thing yeah yeah this is a real bad sequence yeah I'm so glad I didn't get ever I would have beat your ass so then I show up at the Comedy Store after he gets fired from mind of Mencia and I just hear running right like I parked the car I close the door I hear we up and then no running because he's in the air in the Superman play Superman punch behind pop I fall to the ground right I just run straight to the office screaming right I've worked for this guy yeah I try I try to call 9-1-1 what so I called my won-won to call the police right I answered the phone and then nothing do you know why Steve Rannazzisi had pulled the [ __ ] cord on the [ __ ] wall and he gets on his hands and knees and he goes if you call the cops now he's gonna be in jail all weekend cuz it was a Friday I just went home and then the next thing I know he got banned from the club and then for three or four years after that every time I would walk by him he would call me a piece of [ __ ] and I wanted to say I didn't do anything and but you guys have finally patched this up I'm so sorry I asked this are then out of nowhere he calls me and he just goes this is five years later hey dude it's alright I just want to go [ __ ] you right but he goes I know that you had nothing to do with that you know I was just emotional I love you were you a little worried like a fist was going to come yeah and also you're trembling because I've I loved him mm-hmm he was my friend yeah we were at a birthday party together yeah at Spaghetti Factory looking at a picture of a snicker bar up your brother's ass about that no one has proved no one can you see oh I have its guard in my brain would we like to do a lobotomy see now that was real cuz he was there if you could vouch Eric Stonestreet good yeah we talked about that yeah it was really up his butt there yeah yeah Laban had done that yeah see what a random order look at that the Spaghetti Factory I know by the way what they should reopen a Spaghetti Factory now there's it's like a Clermont there's something I love the managers special what was it three flavor is two flavors of sauces you can choose okay and the two sauces you have to choose is the mushroom sauce and I love the one with the masala cheese mix or your meat sauce too and you mix it together and you make it sound good and I hate the spaghetti she hates it yeah Benihana - that's fun no come on funny that actually has happened that you don't know about so I have made it because you're I think you might have been the first person to ever take me to Korean barbecue and I you know loved it and I've made it my mission that every time I go to Korean barbecue yeah I name my name drop you yeah I just work it into the conversation just as a little fishing expedition just to see if there's any reaction of like Oh Bobby you know he's a very famous korean comedian done right and no so the [ __ ] day I went to ginn wha is that what it's called yeah it's really good I where do you like to go I like to the waiter I'm like so wordy when you want Korean barbecue where do you go yeah and he goes out of k-town and I'm like yeah but like specifically which ones are good and he rattles a couple off and I said I've been to soup bald Jeep before he goes all yeah that's really good it's you know it's I said they're not that friendly there to like white guys like me does I don't know if they don't speak English or whatever I said but my friend Bobby Lee pause took me to the place right next to kyochon right there with the pig emblem and he goes oh yeah and he rattles it off yeah yeah yeah and he goes oh Bobby Lee actually Bobby Lee was in here one time he slapped one of our waiters not but not in a violent way oh I've never slept not in an Ari Shaffir way yeah I know and like you know I mean like he had a huge spiritual meltdown because our favorite Korean barbecue spot has a wall it's an Asian wall of fame and he is not in parks parks Bobby Cox BBQ where's that I'm on that one [ __ ] up babe you [ __ ] made out pop yeah before me you know what we did what we had a fan yeah from this podcast go to parks you mean the fan yeah frame a [ __ ] photo of me yes and then [ __ ] put it on the wall is it still up yes yes amazing and then when I went back there like recently the owner was there I know I would be in ok here's the challenge what for your fans yeah they have a certain time limit let's give them Oh six weeks somebody needs to get a picture of me parks bar yeah yes and we'll go in together together we'll go in together yeah six weeks I have something I have if there's a photo of me and Eric Oh on my Instagram there's one thing in the past and there's also one couple years ago do that photo something recent frame it and then put it on parks wall and don't say anything don't say that's a challenge if you can do that what do we give them babe free t-shirt for you but they also have an upstairs wall where they put like the the d-list ellipse and I think that I'm on that wall no that's where you ended up some baseball player you've never seen anyone did I ever tell you I met the dance song guy yeah I saw he has six photos of him on that wall I've seen with you baby let's back up for a second I have a little confrontation a baseball game with Ken Jeong provided me one time over twice I've only I've invited Utah I wouldn't mind you to my Christmas party three times you showed up twice that's not what you're talking about it's true I didn't have it last year you didn't have a last year no I'm having it next year [Laughter] let me ask you something so yeah for sure so I don't think so do you think bigger maybe I think it's big the weight it's not a weight thing I just think it's fair have you seen it so you never seen Eric's pain no it's not one of those guys he's not one of those guys that you can I don't like seven I have a very shallow vagina that's not gonna work I need and smaller okay I'm all right now I mean not not as a girlfriend I don't know what about having that opera singer [Music] you were dating an opera singer no I was dating a girl that was on Broadway like it that's my singer yeah what happened to that gone yes we broke up yeah yeah doing her thing I can't imagine what your taste is like now what was this taste before from what you saw I mean to me he would be like you know and he's an average guy probably got girls that were but now I've never been quantity over quality guy ever and yeah I know you're a quality guy so I can't imagine whatever worse didn't like hooking up with a girl just because she would hook up with me right you need the insides to insides are important sometimes Bobbi on tinder oh my god I can't I still can't believe it myself remember when I would start texting you right when I started posting pictures of her I'm like does that girl need help like do I need to call the police yeah are you holding her against her will you don't find me that I may as I find you charming but I don't think that I'm attractive uh you're not my type if I was gay no I mean if I was I think I wouldn't bone you yeah that's why I was gay I would probably go yeah it took this guy's dick well that's you and me I mean how about this if you were gay and I was gay would you at least invite me to parties and stuff like we'd be right with ya yeah but I would do a real big blanket like hey this is my friend Bobby and you would probably never recommend me to your other gay friends yeah I would guys that were into you know fat Asians I don't think you're fat oh that's a nice thing you know yeah well this would be friends in that world yeah uh I remember one time when I was shopping like with a friend of mine at North Shore Matt and I was trying some stuff on this was before modern family or anything and we were trying I was trying some clothes on and I came out and my friend Matt was like dude this the salesman totally thinks were a couple I was like oh really he's like yeah and so I go back in and I and I try a couple other things off or try other couple things on and they come out and the salesman is so clearly like flirting with Matt like flirting with it yeah and I find myself like getting really like mad about it because he told me that he thought we were a couple so then I'm like well if he thinks were a couple like this is really disrespectful to so when we finish up and we're walking away he's like dude that guy totally totally was hitting on me and basically asked me to go out I'm like are you [ __ ] like I want to go back and confront we're not gay but yeah oh my god right it was and he didn't find you attractive well he wanted to bone that man yeah do you find that let me cuz you do okay I have seen a couple of modern families and I know you've won Emmys and people have said to me like you know that guy I go yeah is he gay and I go because you're so good on that show as that guy is that weird out there or now it was in the beginning a little bit but do people ask you that all the time yeah I block anybody on it I love blocking people on social media so anybody that says are you gay in real life I just block them because I think that's a completely inappropriate yeah yeah it's like if I was your the person I'm gonna come out to thank you so much for asking me Instagram yeah [ __ ] yeah not it's not a question but in the beginning it was weird because you know like I never wanted to seem like I was ashamed of being gay so like if I wanted to talk to a girl I couldn't go up to a girl be like hey just so you know I'm not gay and I think you're really cute like I would never say that cuz that would imply that I would care if you thought I was that there was something wrong with being gay yeah it was a little bit of a you know you're right that I am an average you know guy and it was a deeper hole that I already had to kind of dig myself out of because I'm funny and charming and it takes a minute for that to wash over a girl they're not just deciding that I want to bone that guy purely based on his looks yeah so I had a little bit more of a challenge in the beginning but I overcame it I'm so [ __ ] happy for you are we done no I just wanted to say that oh but I think that I like sort of gay guys I mean like I like men with a little bit yeah although fluidity I I find that attractive yeah I and the point is is I'm I'm confident enough of a man in my masculinity did not care if a girl thing exactly I think he knows that I mean Eric looks so angry everyone right in high school yeah and when I was younger I mean oh I think I didn't know that I don't think there's a soul that he doesn't want to tell that story to I think I did it's freeing to talk about it do you remember you know what you want to hear something funny that I've always laughed at and been embarrassed of at the same time what oh and experience you and I had together so one time I went down to San Diego to watch you do comedy at The Comedy Store down there oh yeah Dave Attell was like the the main guy there that night like he was the whatever you call it the headliner yeah but not and I didn't know like again not in the stand-up world so I didn't know Dave Attell was like a slayer of comedy I just thought he was a comedian and was gonna get up and do it show yeah and he was out back and you guys were kind of talking out back and he was smoking a cigarette and he was ready to go in and I went a man that'll have a great show you know just being nice we go and he I'll never forget it and it's a great [ __ ] line he goes thanks old-timer oh my god it was the [ __ ] best I was like yeah not how I meant it but that was [ __ ] incredible yeah yeah yeah they'll be he wasn't that big then but he was you really and I didn't know him as like what he was you know a few years later he had a show called ABC and told them to pick up my pilot what is it called again building up take out there what do you play I play time Oliver husband's best friend in it adorable how do you do in it you were always worried about your acting with me you would always tell me that you I still do it I've second mission mm-hmm I was just cuz I do some love to on Netflix I always go yeah but you wouldn't be there if that was true I understand I know I just I did something that I bought myself I have to confront you right and Mike you know you have to be careful some point at some point people I'm sorry go ahead it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point if I know I know so that's all I know and the other danger you really get into yeah with so many people in our business is you really run the risk of people just thinking you're a narcissist and one attention all the time mmm that's true we talked about this last week you know who does that says that about me Whitney Cummings she's probably not wrong she's like you're a narcissist and I'm [ __ ] tired of you saying [ __ ] like that yeah you just want constant both but I've known you long enough to know that it is a real it's it's it's somewhat based in reality and a lot of fear and a lot of like traumatic auditions that you just listen what I swear to [ __ ] god I know that I'm getting better mm-hmm you mean because I I know but just listen to what I know that in this pilot that I do well really yeah I know that yeah because cuz you're doing it you're doing less no I'm just like more I'm listening and I'm doing more of that's what I mean yeah yeah yeah you're doing less yeah and I'm being in the scene and they really love what I'm doing and I know that I'm doing a good job new director this um did my friend Dean I didn't test for him you just got it yeah see yeah so many actors and people and performers that are listening to this podcast and you come you know not complaining but you expressing your worry and your fear of not being good you can't couple that with I didn't audition or test for it those two things don't jive because that's when people that have real struggles in our business check I know all right I get it yeah all right I was I would have changed no you're not I am change clothes we read out over 50 okay good listen oh this is what happens now so the show's over no we could have one last thing we have a email asking a question but hold on just a minute how long could you go do this with me like count well you guys could probably go on for hours for both of you the longest you ever went was probably an hour 20 minutes with you okay maybe Jordan Peele Jordan oh wow what I mean someone wants to break the record I'm just saying here's why I do it that way though and I know the people listening right now go how come you always say are we what we're because we want to hear two hours I always believed less is more like a therapy session yes and I believe that what I do anything I try to compact the thing with as much entertainment within a small amount of space yeah but how do you know an hour and 20 with me isn't gonna be but you know you don't seem exhausted in this episode this your your energies match you have a frenetic energy you're calm so it can go on for a while you have to people with Unitas phonetic to write I give what I get so you'll get your good right now because I'm giving good no I'm saying that I am able to match my scene partner like if I can just you know decide what what Wow person needs yeah so you're you're a high level right no no I'm I'm right here in the middle because right your show you ever gonna do a podcast no it's for us for people yeah yeah no it's not that's not what he meant baby no no but I'm that's what I meant yeah that's what I meant yeah no I wouldn't I wouldn't do it because again why I never did stand like stand up in that I don't know that I have that the energy and passion to be good at hosting a weekly podcast and I don't want to just start saying I'm gonna do a podcast now because I'm on a show I respect people later than that Eric well I swear to [ __ ] god I know that you could do it dude was a podcast or stand-up because you have the connect kind of point of view you know how to add information people are always surprised by how angry I am in real life that's the one thing I'm constantly competing against my character yeah cuz my character is really fun and nice and I'm I'm I'm I'm nice but I have a more of an angry point of view in life in it really yeah your edge year I was telling them if he's a little edgy he can you know but I don't think that I've been very nice can't no you're great tonight I've been very nice you you did this you know me and this is the dead of it very nice I want to see the rain have you been in a fist fight before yeah yeah oh yeah all right I want to see the angry side you don't have to be a pretty baby you don't want to want to unleash it I love angry people they're my favorite what do you want oh I don't want anything outside no when you were telling that story like I would have had a real conflict in that moment because I'm thinking two things where was everybody else when Ari Shaffir was hitting you because had I been with you that night I would have gone [ __ ] red light like I would have yeah yeah I mean he's my question but here's so Natasha came to the store four months after that are you orange with her still yeah yeah and Eric took a [ __ ] glass of water with ice in it and threw it at her threw it in her face in the shards of [ __ ] eyes one on her face oh my god and then dove David off and bryan callen were there and they got up and they [ __ ] put you know me start putting it was like you know because they weren't there when I got beat up Steve Rannazzisi you know I mean unplugging the phone I'm friends with both he's like I don't know what he was in the league okay yeah I'm glad yeah I'm so glad you said that - well I might if I saw him I don't me the question what's the question unhelpful advice with Bobby kalila at 7 inches of storage for kalila for kalila I am a 90 year old girl in Canada and I have recently been diagnosed with Asperger's it has been extremely hard to wrap my head around it and to accept I've always felt different but now I feel like I have a huge label across my head saying autistic having Asperger's helps me realize why I've never been good at making connections to other people that being said I have never had any romantic connections just from the lack of social skills and extreme social anxiety my question is how should I go about getting out there in the dating world I feel so behind of all my peers in this aspect and other aspects in life and if when do I start dating how and when do I go about the subject of my diagnosis my name is Anna how old she is nice I wasn't aware that Asperger's were still a diagnosis actually I thought it was just is an extreme spectrum yeah it can go from anything from low function very functional which are oh thank you a little bit yeah our people who are absolutely no communication skills at all so it's a very she seems like she and she's probably very bright yeah the other spectrum the other side of the spectrum is obviously the savants who are I think the answer to anybody that's like looking for some sort of romance these days is online dating I just I think that really is there's no stigma to that anymore in you know pictures you just got to put yourself out there you have to make the decision to get yourself out there and that is the easiest way to get yourself out there yeah and I don't think that you should lead with that insecurity either it is you have it you own it and you know it doesn't define you yeah it doesn't and it's it's it's not a hindrance either it can be also if she if I'm a kalila and she goes I have Asperger's I go what is it and she'll tell me I don't think that it would make me feel weird I mean I have I sometimes I do think I fall under the spectrum I know a lot of like I ticks and I blink anxiously a lot I have severe I have weird things about me and tics that I do I have to be ok what's the other question okay so that's video and I like questions more questions so I'm 17 years old and I have herpes I don't know how to deal with it any advice on how to communicate with people that I might be with in the future what is herpes okay pretty sure you're familiar yeah yeah please don't say that because then that she has it yeah you know what I always say to girls can you get more yeah yeah can you I mean you can have hsv-1 which is like not the very obvious or painful reoccurring once throughout your whole life that's like the ones in your mouth but you can also get down there they're not the the outbreaks are not as like intense but you have to have super aid but then they have hsv-2 which really you've heard of super super aids super never heard of that yes is that real yeah super AIDS I think I heard it well HIV Jesus Christ but herpes you know who doesn't have so brazen 8 out of 10 people by the time they're a certain age probably have the virus inside of them whether or not it chooses to you know show itself so yeah so that's the distinction [Laughter] let's you know yeah you know on the herpe thing I mean transparency is always 100% the best policy in anything you'll ever come along with in your life the conversation of admittance will be much less difficult than the conversation of what's the word guilt yeah you know when you when something was found out I mean you just got to start with it and it's it's super common like it's very common and use protected you know you're gonna protect yourself you're 17 don't know that you should even be doing it yet anyway living an honest life star is always the like I said know a lot of comics that [ __ ] around really they [ __ ] around behind their wives back or whatever and I I do say I go do it it's gonna come back you gotta cut yeah I don't know why you live like that and you're in a lot of these guys are doing well I always say you want to be the Train excuse me you want to pull a train goddammit I do I always say you want to be the engine on the train not the caboose I want to be driving the situation and not being drug along in the wake of it yeah yeah so that that's a good note to end on herpes herpes good note yeah Eric you went up you know you don't have to plug in anything you have a movie coming out or TV shows have you seen the toy box the show that I'm doing on ABC when does this air when's this gonna be on tomorrow morning oh so the toy box is on Friday nights on ABC that's and that's an example of how I've recently had to realize that I'm competing against my own character that I play on TV cuz I'm hosting the show as myself and the reason I'm hosting the show the reason I even said yes to doing it was because it was an opportunity for me to sort of be my dry you know sense of humor with people but people watch the show and be like I like your accessories as an actor but not as a host and it's because they don't know my personality yeah but you're so [ __ ] funny as a person I don't really rarely I know that you're killing it on that channel but I only know you as a naturally intrinsically funny guy legit that's a honestly a big big compliment from for me from you I really do mean that yeah because I've always felt like there's like I went to a Funny or Die party after Modern Family was on and I did feel like because I'm on in like a network television show and I'm on that and it's you know like gets good ratings and wins awards that somehow I'm not in the cool comedy club and I promise you this we all want to be where you're at I told her when I booked this pilot I just said we might get invited to the party because I've been to the party right they get the club right all right you're in the club and let me tell you something right now there is a difference you're at a level that's completely different untouchable untouchable but but I did feel like I felt like the senior in like I was made if I and it was again on me because most people in the your world don't know me as stand up because I wasn't or as an improviser because you know how many people saw me improvise for 12 years you know so I oh I felt like that the comedy people don't look at me as a comedy guy they just look at me as a guy that got lucky and is now on a network like let me ask you this Jordan Peele do you know him yeah do you know him before you did Modern Family of course yeah he's legitimate yeah 100 per second yes you knew him hilarious like yeah yeah I mean there's a list of people that are killing it right now that already know that what you can do and who you were and you didn't need modern family to get have them have that opinion of you Yeah right so shut the [ __ ] up well no but you know what I mean about the comment no I mean I I've you know I've always hated them let me say this I've been doing stand-up for 20 years I've never been in the Montreal Comedy Festival really yeah and it's like at some point you don't have to go I'm not but it's fine yeah but it's [ __ ] fine it's fine but you're so you're an improviser mmm-hmm so let me tell you the main the main thing real quick and then I'll let you guys go sorry I'm talking now no so here's something that I've noticed about comedy is it used to be when I was in Chicago and starting off there at the improv Olympic and I would talk to guys that were had been improvising for a long time you would go out onto the street and the climate at IO is that that's just bits galore and you just you're standing outside smoking a cigarette drinking water doing whatever it is in its bit bit bit bit bit and everyone says yes yes yes yes yes and you just do the bit and you have no idea what's gonna come from that bit usually nothing sometimes something now what I feel like is is you'll be around like let's say a couple I Oh guys like guys like me and perform on beer shark mice and those those guys that will just jump in and do bits you'll be around doing bits and then add a little with a cool guy comedy club in and the cool guy comedy is sitting back and thinking like well I'm gonna judge the bit first yeah and I'm gonna decide whether I think the it's funny yeah and then I'm gonna jump into the bed yeah and I'm gonna kill the bit where the whole spirit of improv and what the beauty of Io is is bits just are that they're bits and you say yes to them yes with no judgement yeah that's what I feel like to me the difference is is is there's judgement where there didn't used to be yeah but also those people that judge the horse they can't pay right prime real estate there's no farts going on yeah we can put a poquito mas in my baby you would never betray me in that way I would never I know you will and nor would I like that she said maybe you've said this before on the podcast that you have a shallow very shallow vision which is good for you no I don't hit the wall I go halfway though anyway we'll be right back guys a cleaning house and we're back Eric Stonestreet what a guy I like him I like him I like starstruck I can't believe how long they've known each other yeah like since the late 90s I think she's so many commercials hell yeah Bobby used to tell me he's like he's the absolute king of commercials no I feel like his look too and just how funny is for sure books all the time yeah it made sense that's really good advice though he gave about like going into like commercial auditions you just got to not give a [ __ ] and then they give a [ __ ] about you yeah because I think that you do sense that like that sense of desperation is really off-putting if I was a casting director and I somebody just hits it perfectly and they're like it's really great to meet you and like me I get the [ __ ] out of here do that I need someone with a little bit of like rough around the edges where I can see em okay he wasn't perfect but I can see it going there that was like definitely me in Chicago cuz I didn't know I was coming with big smile hey Gilbert like the [ __ ] fake boy yeah yeah I really like no callbacks and as soon as I started being like hey what's up guys chill yeah it's like Oh normal person here's a callback for being a just that [ __ ] normal person you know that's why Steve Lee he's cuz that's him has booked so many commercials is because Steve Lee genuinely doesn't care and he just goes in he's like I don't want to [ __ ] be here but I'm gonna do it yeah and he always gets a callback that makes sense I thought about going into auditions just for that just for that reason but then I'm scared I'd get a callback for the experience of like not giving a [ __ ] and then as soon as I got a callback for something big after a while let's say you get a callback it's hard not to care at that point then you're like okay I got it I want to do better that's what I'm trying to fix now yeah a callback is the first one like I'm probably not gonna get it you get the callback then that's when the nerves kick in that you're trying too hard yeah that's good advice yeah so hey guys I want to take a moment to thank everybody that came out to our live show last Thursday it was an absolute blast I I got to meet most of you I think and it was everybody was just super cool super nice super impressive and I want to say that I love you guys everybody that I did meet and it was a nice night yeah for that super super night and for those who didn't make it to this show don't worry we'll have several more in the future and they'll be bigger and better get ready for a Europe tour and thank you to everybody who helped out you know who you are so I appreciate you right I also want to take a moment to give a shout out to our two great interns Johnny and and Gustavo who put in a lot of work for that night and to Annabelle and John and George and probably just re-entered the room in Omar was just there yeah Mr and Russell were there in case in case I needed extra help and so guys uh we the black shirts are sold out on our website we only have a handful of the white shirts left so if you had been keen on grabbing the slept king shirt do it now Connie Bobby just decided to jump back on the mic it's weird having you there I think we should have this new setup we use it there Johnny Gustavo who are they on the live show I know what the live show what happened you were there live show Bobby all our fans last Thursday that was wonderful times there's a really good time do you know I mean I don't know I shouldn't got naked that was weird live it you live and you learn you live in your learn um let's do some ads yeah so yeah guys make sure you follow us on instagram at tiger belly when i eat i love you on twitter I had that tiger belly and eat most any questions at the tiger belly at you apron gmail.com so yeah we already did all frame bridge go to frame bridge calm and remember the promo code is belly alright we'll see you guys later night oh wait hang on we're not done oh sorry look I I need to plug Bobby's dates oh yeah go ahead um okay hang on let me pull up my list before I I forget I'm so irresponsible come on Khalil you're better than this okay guys if you want to go see Bobby do stand-up he will be at hilarities in Cleveland June 1st to the 3rd parlor live in Seattle or in Bellevue June 8th through the 10th comedy zone in Charlotte that's North Carolina right June 22nd to the 24th Tempe Arizona June 22 the 22nd and Salt Lake City July 28th through 29th i-4 I haven't updated his site yet but I will so for more dates go to Bobbili lie Morocco doing comedy club that's our show guys all right guys see you next week [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 264,298

Rating: 4.9037738 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, eric stonestreet, modern family, the toy box

Id: xl6RdjIV9lo

Length: 77min 42sec (4662 seconds)

Published: Thu May 04 2017