Eric Stonestreet is Eric Backstreet | TigerBelly 199

[Music] [Music] me it's yeah baby hey guys post mates is my movie number uno delivery app number one numero uno I use it all the time for everything lamp fixtures feet lotion oh you love that's a lovely lotion food or any kind of rider food chimichangas yeah Panda Express Oh restless you can also get a panda Prime yeah you can get me get a panda but honestly guys it's the most reliable thing I use it all the time it's it's something that I can't I don't think I can live without um for a limited time do read that yeah for a limited time post makes giving heart listeners 100 talkers are free to lick free credit for your first 7 days you start your dil three deliveries download the app and use the code belly that's the code belly for $100 of free delivery credit for your first 7 days oh my god download the app post mates oh my god anything you need anytime you need it post mate it download post mates and save with the code belly enjoy the show but it's a real house that'd be good he's amazing your eyes are good yeah like puffy Chinese eyes you know I can't believe you think it agent I love puffy Chinese I told him let's do the whole podcast eating Korean barbeque I'd be great and he wouldn't even if I can spring for it well [ __ ] story man 5 4 3 2 1 oh yeah oh god man I [ __ ] woke up like 10 15 minutes ago in such a bad mood in such a bad like you because I was in Canada puffy Chinese eyes this guy has the kind of Chinese eyes right yeah when they're like on a train in China I don't know how they're compacted and they get so stressed out that their eyes bulge out a little bit that's what he has right there again it might be an hour for no reason you know that's what that I and there everyone's close together like this and their eyes get puffy and for the audio that's what he's talking about a white guy there's a white cupcake I would just let you guys know that Eric Stonestreet is in the [ __ ] room yeah but I haven't introduced him yet yeah which is making a very income I don't know but that's how I do it that's the way it's done in life well technically the rule is once you say his name he's allowed to talk and he said my name that's that's your rule you should sorry but I won't talk about your eyes yeah and he's got Andre Agassi's haircut oh so pretty cool so the Chinese stress eyes andre agassi haircut right and you have a nice body you all former baseball player oh yeah play baseball yeah but anyway um you're giving me a hard time yeah because um somebody was parked in a spot I couldn't get my truck in in your garage your gate sucks and I had to walk through some other people's patio to get up to your apartment that smelled like dog urine and I'm like all this can be handled if you just like had a normal place for like real podcasters I know but that's why I purchased a little tiny townhouse oh it's a no no no it's a house oh it's a nice house cuz you sold it as a house off air and then if you were just about to tell me I was gonna go compared to your house in the townhouse yeah well you know this is it true that you bought I mean I this is because I've talked to somebody I just want to know you bought the house next to yours and combined it them mm-hmm combined it you don't really conjugate like that it's just combined you combined it did it know that you don't have to get twice and I'm an American citizen all right who told you I bought the house next to me who stole I don't remember who said that but I remember it is saying it here say and then me saying it like out like yet he could do where he wants or like they did it was it presented in a way like yeah yeah he's lying all the area connecting all the house brunei does in vegas he just takes a whole like block for like good homes but I really ruin you lived in a one-bedroom for apartment you know in Studio City Burbank okay whatever you know right the valley yeah and I want to say this but I'm gonna bucket I'm gonna get emotional Oh God you're laughs don't do that again okay I'm [ __ ] tire your [ __ ] okay your attitude yeah your head is getting way too big he was really short with me in the garage I said is this your car and he said no and I was like okay I love you you always welcome yeah I don't know what I was saying right now cuz I got so uh you were talking about getting emotional about my one-bedroom apartment always you know you know I'll be I'll be honest you've always been just the nicest guy your voice do you have a change they don't think I don't think I am I don't think you have either I think that you're we've always stayed the same I mean that's why you can come here to do this you know because I asked you to do this by the way because people let me tell you let me tell you something and I'm going to talk before we started just because I didn't I didn't want to do a redo we won't allow us to do a redo and tell stories that we told before because the reason I'm saying that is I was bent on Howard Stern a lot of people comment about my interview with Howard Stern but the tiger belly podcast is up there with fan love of my podcast radio appearances truth yeah yeah and I believe thank you so you must have liked more than mommy and dad listen like you must have real people this thing no we know aren't we I think we're a but you know it's reinvented my career I think your career never needed to be reinvented waiting that why I like you know very good to shame I've learned that in the class right you know you get them kid in Game of Thrones remember he was pinned up against the wall with all the arms are on it oh that's me yeah and you're you're like you know me I'm behind you and I open my eyes and they use you know no you're seriously like I get a ton of comments I just told you before I yeah we started that somebody just literally said hey when are you going back on Tiger belly and I'm like oddly next week yeah it's um you know she did it my girlfriend did made me do this do the podcast yeah because she's awesome he's awesome and I had heard him on so many different other people's podcasts and I think he's audio gold I'm like why are you doing this yourself it you are good dude I mean you I've never listened to what other than my own appearance but you are but the thing is dude but um you know what it is that you're never you know um I thought that you know I got on a sitcom I thought it was gonna be a good five year run you know I didn't you know it died abruptly yeah but like it did it did for you what it needed to do probably I mean you have to think like III watched it I thought you were awesome and the show was good I actually liked the show it was it was good yeah but you know when you want when you watch your show you know it's you know intrinsically and obviously really funny when you watch the monitor family like you kill it but like I'm probably the funniest guy on the show but you can just tell that it's just a fun show to work on it's fun to watch you know it's a it's a strong ensemble cast where there's different people with different styles of comedy and the way they deliver line it's just a great job yeah well but it started you know in the bones it was that way from the beginning and now we're gonna finish our eleventh year which I can't believe it's crazy can you believe that but my point went on your show is that I learned a long time ago my manager one time was represented she used to represent Jessica Alba and she had a show that was on like the CW where she played like an action-adventure person this would have been in the early Dark Angel yeah was that the name of I think it was on and then it was gone and I remembered oh sorry Jessica's show got canceled he goes no it did exactly for her what it needed to do I mean for ABC it reminded everybody that oh well I never had it I've never worked for ABC before but you will again I know but now that I got in did you create problems on the set or anything no no I was great created relationships good yeah was strong and I like puffy I have to look at him but it was you know story I met new people and you know they all want to do stuff with me again because you're your that doesn't yeah the thing though when you when you tell people yeah my show got canceled and their people's immediate response is oh it you'll get another thing right and then you've been told that before but then you have to wait for seven years you're not gonna wait seven years and then something happens you know if the new you know no hey it would be called [ __ ] ish maybe see for sure there went my career it would be Asian ish yeah yeah yeah anyway you know I get in trouble for that no yes is it good first listen to me listen to me I go that you're not gonna have to wait seven years and here's why because modern family ends next year and then somebody's gonna want me to do something I'm gonna say yeah with Bobby why do you have this guy now Tyler yeah I'd love how really yeah you are by him he's a fan he's offensive but I love no he's a fan of you yeah he went to see you in a show he saw he went to a charity event that bill burr was supposed to be headlining and then bill burr didn't show up and then you became the best thing at the show the Ford theater is it outside I know exactly what it is I know we were saying now what you're saying is is that the Comedy Store did a anniversary show yeah it's a Henry Fonda that is Fonda right yes and Bill was supposed to be on it but then they replaced him with stavis Spade yeah I've got a couple of other and then I even texted you and said hey my assistants there he'd love to meet you and you never got back to me that's so foolish I'm just kidding I didn't I know you didn't because I don't have the text but you know what dude thanks for coming I made him come his work hours are 9:00 to 5:00 and I said yeah I'm doing Bobby Lee's podcast do you want to go and he actually said yeah and now you're torturing and uh I love them stop calling him puffy eyes all right stop I stop Chinese eyes no no more he works for me god damn it I hate puffy eyes would you go all right here's like it's like I haven't slept I've never well he hasn't he works for me oh wow he's constantly doing stuff yeah same girlfriend yeah same girlfriend Lindsay you've never met her have you no she would have come here come here she's she likes she likes it I mean whoa she likes that I torment you or text you every once well no I dude I love it you know who does the same thing Ike Barinholtz Barinholtz will always text me just randomly you know things he doesn't do but um you hold on can you pick that up you just drop that name I love David but I dropped it so um pick it up okay he's a really nice guy when I met him at like the NME party I was blown away with how like fun he is to talk to and just normally like nice actually so that's what I'm saying is that because I you could say that the same thing about Ike too right yeah just they do you you guys are all the same type of person whereas that I knew I knew I didn't know David I knew you and Ike when you weren't you know I mean killing the game that you are now I mean your and um but you guys never changed just super nice no and David's like that - I yeah I always imagined that David it was always like that in Arizona where we grew up yeah you always worry when you're about to meet somebody that you admire that it's gonna go not good oh I've had some of those has it have you not people that I super admire cuz I can't say that that list is like huge of like oh my god this person is gonna disappoint me if they're anything less than great because I don't build people up that much like Harrison Ford for the first time yesterday know at the secret life of pets to premiere which comes out Friday June 7th if you're already if you see your library that's the movie you're in a secret life for piss off with a real comedian Kevin Hart that's what I'm saying it's a hyena laughing right he deserves kind of laugh yeah I don't think I deserve that though yeah in my own house yeah all right apartment just a house apartment - it's a condo Donnie Hathaway didn't sing about is an apartment I jumped off the Essex House which the first hotel I ever stayed at in New York City and probably where they had you stay in New York City when they had you go to the up fronts last year didn't go okay Wow remember when you eat oh yeah Eric testa tech texted me are you here hey don't you know flyout number nine on them you know for sure you would be here there I know I thought - cuz I'm like I'm a minority mm-hmm fifth lead mm-hmm we're your number five on the call sheet I was actually four oh that's great I'm five on our call sheet so good for you you had me beat there in that one area first about the public that calls shades before the show riot aired yeah but they publish it based on what you've done before so the fact that you were four means that they made you the fort kind of the fourth most famous person right but they didn't know exactly what they had with you know until the thing came on yeah but I would still be the fifth person on the call sheet Dan O'Neill's number one that was for sure I wouldn't argue against that no you know but then um is what's a Sarah Hyland but before you know cuz the kids I mean she even though she's an adult and been an adult since the show started she was considered one of the kids so she's Jesse six then it goes from there I don't know I don't really go below six I don't read too much below that yeah yeah those kids that you have they changed or much or yes it's cuz of science they grow up I grow up yeah they change okay you know what the thing is this you know what I was saying oh you mean their personalities no it doesn't with those kids because again they're around a bunch of pretty normal adult actors so yeah of us are like going off and raging doing coke and all that kind of stuff so they're around a group of people that are fairly grounded and fairly normal and all found very different degrees and multiple degrees of success in their career yeah I'm at ed o'neill who's you know famous for a long time Julie Bowen met on lots of show Sofia Vergara been famous for a long time Ty Burrell has been on a lot of pilots so none of us are crazy over there but the thing that's really funny is when we started season 1 I'm with Rico and Nolan and they're building forts and playing nerf gun on set yeah now they're driving Range Rovers and Tesla's yeah I mean they go from building forts with blankets and say yeah that's pretty crazy [ __ ] crazy anything about it sorry to interrupt but we have you guys seriously though uh-huh when in my 20s I had hair problems my hairline is receding a little bit yeah I didn't know what to do I was getting paranoid but I didn't I couldn't afford to go see a doctor so I just let it go yeah but you know what now nowadays we have sites like hims for more hams that's what I meant to say for hims and I say that every time yeah right did you know that 66 percent of men started to lose their hair by the age of 35 stop it and I won't I'm gonna keep going oh yeah once you've noticed yeah yeah once you've noticed thing here it can be too late oh no yeah that's why hymns for hymns has on professionals that you can contact and they give you professional advice yeah tell them more guys don't be like Andre Agassi over there that guy was like yeah puffy eyes Andre Eric order now our listeners get started with a hims complete hair kit for just $5 today while supplies last see website for full details and safety information this could cause hundreds if you went to a doctor or pharmacy somewhere else go to four hams dot-com / belly that's fo r hims com / 4 hymns calm the / belly oh yeah enjoy the show you know I even the father that was on my show Jeff right Jeff talked about Ed O'Neill and he's known n O'Neill since like the 70s or 80s last name I forgot real quick here I have proof that I sent you those text messages as I was telling you about let me see so this guy hold on let me tell you the story so this guy this Pearson Jeff Pearson this guy in Kansas City who's the president and CEO of big hospital in Kansas City name's Bob page he texts me and he's like my son's out in Los Angeles and he's a musician but I told you this he's got and I'm talking about him right now I think I I think I can say all this stuff yeah he's got a very rare disorder where his joints dislocate at any given time is it ehlers-danlos I mean he's not here to answer that question right now so I'm was just okay well if it's real you have to have him on and he is a huge fan of this show and so he said hey will you give my son like a little boost so I get on the phone with him I talked to him for a while ask him when he's a fan of what he does he's like he's a guitar player and then one thing leads to another and he texts me and said dude your appearance on Bobby Lee's podcast is one of my favorites of the show and I said you listen to the show why don't you write something musically for the podcast and they'll do it as a little music drop or something just to give him a boost he does it I send it to Bobby he goes I'll play it tomorrow the kid [ __ ] watches and listens to your show you don't play it and then he passed away the next day yeah Charles page number Charlie hey yeah listen here Charlie can I call him Charlie [Music] [Music] I love it a lot I hope that for you even while great as that I wrote a second one to me so I can post it all that stuff with a story about George eating my book your butthole yeah oh but did that happen in a dream in a dream I've never actually physically eaten your butthole bye bye maybe like by accident yeah maybe I think I was eating her butthole when she was bent over a near vagina and her butthole you know how the vagina and the butthole was like Iran not Iran like Pakistan India yeah right that's right right and then there's that border where the change is right right and Kashmir right right I was looking across the border and I went into Pakistan and I don't put Pakistan the [ __ ] right so let's just make India the [ __ ] Iran Pakistan is delicious but you're out of visa but I think it's how long have you been here she's like what she's shy are you shy oh yeah I think that eating ass is a generational thing I think that your generation never ate us and I think that Millennials all they can talk about like they foam at the mouth wanting to talk about eating ass foam at the mouth you would are the same generation right are you 47 I am yeah me too wow we're the same age that's crazy is it yeah because I'll tell you what it why it is because the house I watch I was watching an IBM commercial you and I both they'd in the bank one yeah then we talked about this and I saw another one IBM I did with Joe Pitka display your commercial real over and over and make her watch it he was making the kids watch Oh watch this gee Bobby's famous so what you were doing [Music] do stuff like that go to West Covina mall walk around the mall you know get noticed yeah that's food court I love that yeah I lean against the wall but people recognize you're just a school with no some people go hey some people think I'm from something else like do you ever get recognized for somebody to somebody else know you've never had a are you know people have seen movies that they thought I was in and then I inevitably want to go like Google that movie but people put me as I look now in a movie in the 80s and I'm like how stupid are you like you have do you see what I'm saying yeah they think hey were you in such-and-such and then you go look at that movie and it's like yeah yeah I would have been 13 then right yeah but no nobody I mean nobody ever thinks I'm you know what I'm Tyler just witnessed it if I knew Tyga I can tell what I can I guess what it is it's you I think that you're struggling a no it's my name people get my name really confidently wrong so they'll come up to me and be like hey oh my god Eric Street stone I love ya but the best one ever the-the-the by far the best is I was in New York City it was one right when modern family started to become popular and this guy picks me up at the hotel he goes what time's your flight I said it's six o'clock or whatever those you're not gonna make that flight do I have permission to get you to JFK sir I said of course and he goes so we take off were bobbing and weaving through Queens I mean it is an amazing ride I'm in the back of a mercedes-benz station wagon you know car car and we're bobbin and Weavin going through traffic honking the horn and he pulls up screeches two tires in front of JetBlue and he turns around amigos mr. Street stone you have arrived at JFK like he did you crack them oh yeah I was pulling on the lot one time I was shooting something that I had to go you know I was going on the same lot every day dealing with the same security girl every day and finally she stopped making me like give her my ID she recognized me when I pulled up and this on this day she goes Derrick back Street right and I'm like yes yeah she would you but if you were at the airport some strange I never correct people I use them now as a badge of I got Erik sandstorm in in London girlfriend was like did he just call you it's really fun I get Tommy Lee are you Tommy Lee do I look like a [ __ ] drummer from enemy heavy metal bit and they and then I'll go no they go are you sure I go no I'm not him Tommy Lee oh yeah and then when I go Bobby that's my name Bobby Lee and I go oh yeah well whatever like there you know me belt it though he'll take it anyway I thought you were gonna say people always confuse me and they say are you Bobby Lim you know because like that's another Asian sounding oh yeah that yeah yeah oh yeah yeah yeah do I get the Lee portion right yeah wrong I mean anyway is there um when you get recognizes their thing something things that like irritate you that ii like that you have borders i have borders i don't like to be touched and grabbed what about if you're in the middle of a meal I'm in the middle of a meal depending on what I'm talking about it's more about like the conversation that's happening because I feel it's my obligation to my friends and family to be present with them when I'm with them and having like meaningful conversations because I'm I'm not always with them so that when a person that I don't know comes up and wants to have a moment of my time I don't have a problem with giving them a moment of my time but not necessarily if my best friend says his wife was just diagnosed with say cancer yeah I got it like stay focused isin yeah my life in their life so I will tell people I would be happy to like talk to him in just a minute and usually people are like super cool about that and then on other times they turn on you very quickly will [ __ ] you I'm never watching your show again oh really no yeah really of course yeah and you know because I've always been cursed a little bit with my physicality that I can't really say things to people that don't come off as though I might be starting [ __ ] with them you know what I mean yeah like I can't say you know hey in just a minute you know and I'm trying to keep a smile that's just not how it comes off I've always gotten myself in trouble in situations with my face ah what I'm annoyed people know I'm annoyed and I can't necessarily bury that yeah but no I don't ever I mean its fizz it's the physical stuff if people grab my elbow and like say hey come over here meet my so-and-so or whatever I'm like don't don't grab me though do people pick me up from behind that's so cute no people will dislike white dudes like six foot eight and they'll do the accent - Asian accent yeah the army story right that hard yeah I'm just like a marionette and but you know karate someone have a white belt with a stripe yeah not much but you know I also don't like what when they don't know that cuz I come you know how I come across mean but in a funny way nearly sarcastic right so I mean I made fun of your hair the andre agassi but that's because I love you you puffy trying you don't really have puffy Chinese that I was just doing that you know it's to have fun uh-huh but if you don't know that about me right then they get offended quickly like some guy couldn't take a photo what's up [ __ ] boy yeah and they'll go what'd you call me oh that's how I talk yeah I'm sorry that makes me sad for you because anybody that knows you knows that that's just who that's who you are yeah yeah yeah and they should be excited that you're giving them an authentic moment right of with you yeah what I would say about that and that's that's sort of how I am as far as I really pride myself and you can ask Tyler because he's with me a lot of the times where it's like I give people exactly what they give me if they're super cool with me and super fun then that's exactly what I am yeah if you're rude with me like in like wow you're you're you're not as fat as you are on TV like people have said stuff like oh you're way more handsome in person like how do you or people that like to come up to you and tell you that they don't watch your TV show like people really enjoy doing that yeah come up and be like my wife watches a show I don't Whitney hey she mentioned it on this podcast too were like oh yeah cuz a guy can't admit to liking her comedy oh hey they're always like yeah I don't know who you are but my girlfriend likes you so can I get a picture yeah yeah what that happens when somebody says like you know I my friend just took a photo I don't know who you are but I might as well get one too I always say no yeah no yeah I do say no I began I the whereas like no because you what what what what why I guess well you're not a fan Yeah right and then you're gonna Google me later and then they're gonna put like here's the guy you know the fat guy from Goonies I don't know how they do it yeah I mean yeah I had a guy one time I forget who I was with but I also have to yield to whoever I'm with because I don't ever mind really taking pictures but if you're with somebody that doesn't want to then you're like yeah yeah like whatever but I was with somebody and they they were like can I take a picture and the guy was like no can we can we catch one afterwards he's like whoa the picture already would have been done by now if you would have just said yes oh my god but 99.999% of my interactions are all good and cool and fun and stuff I enjoy it because you have a great foundation yeah but I also like I do believe what you said which is that I haven't changed and I didn't like people grabbed my elbow before I was on TV and I don't like it now it's no different it doesn't have anything to do with I think that I'm better than someone or a fan or something it's just like don't touch me like I don't want to touch you you don't touch me yeah yeah like people touching this area yeah the face is that big but a lot of people do that just randomly like no you know I have people like dudes grab my [ __ ] from behind just like with their middle right with their middle right they figured no they don't finger fun of me but I'll just on the pants let's see this is my butthole and they'll just put this in my throat and in India and go what's my shits being squished like that you know in my butthole then are you conflicted at that time are you like I'll say it you know No are you doing comedy tonight what why is it that when I say funny things you don't ever laugh why doesn't he have a mic he's a producer okay but then stop talking to him no you know no I will not show or show it's your it's our show she created it it's our [ __ ] but you know I've always had that kind of relationship with this guy okay see him and I our foundation was our house was built on sand which is maker studios okay and that's how I met him maker studios and then he came on board and we're doing business this - do you get together right but you know watch it I love you thanks for being here wait are you doing a show tonight no no nor Mondays no are you still doing your life shows no why what happened nothing happened I just it becomes like I don't want to travel to do that I don't want to get on a plane it's like to go do that stuff you know what he was doing right yes we talked about it oh we did it last night yeah yeah yeah I thought that was a great thing it's fun I enjoy doing it and I wish now that Modern Family is almost over like I wish I would have taken your advice you gave me like a few years ago and started like working up material in trying to do you can always do that but because look at look at um you know like we had Brendan Schaub here he was a fighter at a UFC fighter and they became a comic so you funny he's a headliner now Showtime special yeah oh my god I'll watch him right but he's a fighter right Dolph Ziggler do you yes see funny we don't know we don't know personally but the thing is is that you could it sounded bad yes probably honestly I don't know I don't know who Dolph Ziggler is and I always said yes because she said [ __ ] is Dolph so he is a WWE wrestler superstar that does stand-up comedy and apparently he's like he's a comedian Wow Dolph Dolph Ziggler got blond hair you know rowdy roddy piper also did stand-up right and then he left his set oh yeah on stage on stage keep it you kept it yeah and he was left well that's theft he left it on stage you know and I love guys like rowdy roddy piper because no matter where he is at like he treated me like I was a doorman because he wasn't a fan of yours yeah so he thought I was a doorman there before he died he would go to the comedy store I'd be on right before him or two beforehand right it goes eh Billy give me my car I don't work that's all I do here get me a coke and I would do it yeah yeah yeah last night something happened I have to share this story real quick so in the in the 80s Andre Agassi in the 80s cute as [ __ ] in the 80s there was a comic named finis finest Henderson and you know if you talk to Roseanne Barr or any of these kind of kind of Acts you asked them who was like the person that you could have swore was gonna be the biggest star and they all said finest Henderson but I had never met him before until last night and I saw him in the hallway with his kids he had two kids are in their 20s yeah and I go you what's your name find us Anderson and they go you're a legend I think and when I said that to him it seemed like he was like taken aback because he hasn't been at that club for twenty thirty years I've never met him before right he's still doing comedy though yeah he does cruise ships right and corporate stuff but like you know it just to me it's just shame when you see you know when you see it you know older guy comics that they had every something happened when they had opportunities didn't it didn't happen for them the way you know it happened for others right so then you say take this other cores and I'm sure he had two beautiful kids and I'm sure he had a happy life but why is it why do I feel sad for them because you know you know the struggle and you know Wow at the end of the what everyone's chasing yeah down deep I mean yes there people want a happy life and that involves meaning someone great and having kids that there's definitely that portion of life but when you get into this business that's not what you're thinking is like oh I hope I become a dad and father someday like I want to be my own sitcom famous yeah so you know that no matter how great that whole other life of his is which is probably great and very fulfilled there's a part of him that you know or those people then that didn't achieve that one little bit of success that you know it's it's more than that I think I think cuz you know if you look at something like Brett Butler or Caroline Rhea yeah Caroline Rhea they've had shots right you know theyíve seen billboards back in the day with you know there are some though that's never had a shot there good great there are people that are great great yeah that just never for some reason or other the way they present themselves or they don't have the right kind of skills in terms of like cuz you're very just kind of a likable guy when you're even just because when you when I book that why'd you close your eyes what was this thing I was that was now but that was not thinking that was the oh no I didn't say oh this is what you did no did he falsely no I went like this I wouldn't go oh is that right take me thank you yeah but you know what it seemed also they were mocking me in a bit in a way if I was mocking you I wouldn't be I have to be so careful sucking camera no not on this not on this podcast if I was mocking you I wouldn't have made my eyes go the best direction right because he just doesn't naturally get off of Tyler alright that's a service from Iowa Tyler Iowa hey what was I gonna ask you about our vacation oh yeah you went to the Philippines those pictures I even took - did I message you okay where are you guys I was sliding into your girl's DMS I don't care because we love you I love you so [ __ ] much I would love you so much but you'd be one of those ones one of the ones where I walk into you know me in my bedroom from the road right and you're eating our butthole right you're eating her by home in the can yeah no yeah I would be like walking onto the hallway I'm gonna let that pass right but just don't do it again yeah no problem no probably next all right wet white well yeah yeah on your face yeah wait have you ever been has anybody ever walked in on it you ever in having sex no we have a ton of animals we have six yeah yep I mean um I'm not a I'm not a I don't showcase publicly I'm not I'm not saying I'm purpose I'm just saying when you were a kid or exploring your own like that oh my dad my dad because my parents bathtub I think I've said this before but parents bathtub in their bedroom had such a strong you know what's a faucet yeah such a strong water pressure I stood as a kid put my penis Oh like all my hands and knees like this right yeah I bet my hands he leaves like this right and then I would stick my penis you me on the faucet I would turn it on and and and the way the water hit my penis it would get make me a wrapped right yeah and so and I I would laugh a little bit like clothes did you have to get real close I'll bet huh what the faucet yeah no that's it felt good because of the distance between the faucet and my piece gotcha just that it was a perfect you know I think it was too closely with the pressure we've been hurtful Yeah right yeah cuz did the water just go between your penis and the wall it's a small dick joke I know I just wanna defend myself no that was you really and then this is what I so one day I was doing it and this is what I hear right and I'm then I stopped jerking yeah you know I turn my head like this yeah and my dad's going laughing and laughing at me and he just walked out of the bathtub and you never talked about it it's not one of those things your dad so with us yeah you still with that mom - yeah okay and I've never brought it up again well yeah I don't yeah yeah because he's only laughed like that twice that time can I just say you were holding up three fingers right then when you said twice you said he's only done that he's only left like that twice yeah I have carpal tunnel okay so no I'm sorry twice that's still three it doesn't [ __ ] matter okay okay yeah and the second time you did that is when I was in rehab and I told him in front of the whole rehab that I was molested by a guy with Down syndrome and he laughed like that to the whole family our whole family died so this is a tomb and so people ask me how come so glum and moody that's why that's the origin that's it sorry to interrupt but we have another sponsor [ __ ] shipstation is the one hey guys when you're selling on lines getting your orders can be a real pain ha ha out that's what I meant to say - yeah time-consuming expensive so many carriers to choose from how do you know you're making the best choice that's why you ship station - come let me see something I know it sounds like I'm reading it which I was it wasn't memorize sure but I want to be honest with you this is the thing that we use for our product our business for our business and Tiger belly we only use the greatest foundations of Americans things that people offered to us yeah you know and that's why we're doing it you know ship ship station it's not a plane tell them about it it's great yeah it's not a car not a plane it's a ship station calm and right now Tiger Billy listeners can try ship station free for 60 days we use the promo code belly there's absolutely no risks you can start with your free trial without even entering your credit card info just visit visit ship station calm click on the microphone at the top for the homepage and type in belly that ship station calm enter the promo code belly ship station calm make ship happen enjoy the rest of the show hey yeah did you send those to yourself no I meant Bobby decided to me ok what is it the music oh I was just I was telling you to text him to yourself so you had all got to catch so if in case you wanted to say you know go out with it gotcha good anyway but if you ever Eric if you ever think about doing a podcast yeah and you ever want to need any kind of help you know we're here I would love to I mean I've thought about it a lot honestly but I don't know what I would talk about and I don't know what I would do Oliver Hudson and Kate Hudson you have one now with their dearest siblings one so my brother and I Steve and I did one with Kate and Oliver oh they thought it was really funny oh that's right but so there that's what there are so they're interviewing others you know celebrity if I tell you what my idea is the document is that then I have it and nobody can do it yeah ok so I've always wanted to do a podcast where I wire my car up or I just buy a car and wire it up as my podcast studio and then we have a guest on we get in my car and decide where we're going for lunch yeah you talk about what we're you know the place we're going to what I have what we're gonna eat then we take a break and then go in and eat it and then on the way home we just talked about what we had and that's an interactions that happen but it all takes place in the car and at work not only could it work not only could it work I think that people would love it and also secondly you know you injured I mean I know you know I go to I still go to El Cholo because of you because of me yeah because you told me about the chicken champion all my good I know but remember like my favorite Mexican is over by you now where you're gonna be Tony's Mexican Grill manually in cold water what's Tony well you and I went there for lunch No Tony's Mexican Grill I'll get your exact coordinates and I'll hook you up with good restaurants where you're gonna be yeah I know a thing or two because you know Jax does it right that's Shepherd vodcast is great it's great I heard it's Michael Roz Rosenbaum House is there's no room for more podcasts and the beauty about podcasting is that anyone can do it from anywhere but the good ones will always sort of rise yeah it's like it's like any like I you know when I go on the road now 90% of my audience is Tiger belly fans so how many listeners do you guys have right now how many people are potentially good amount I think the difference they're a different kind of fan base because they really latch on to the human part of you they don't want to see a big performance they don't want to see broadcasting they're gonna be disappointed by this [Laughter] people like you know fumble on their words yeah yeah like how I'm being I'm sure see that's the other thing with a podcast it's like you have it you have the DNA and the past and track record you can say whatever you want if I edit myself so much in real life I can only say what I want to say around a few select people I understand your thing is dangerous man right and I still have to deal will edit the [ __ ] out of this thing [ __ ] out of it but I have to even because I see crazy [ __ ] well because you have a conscience thing people people don't know about you is that you're you know or maybe they do but you're a sweet guy he is sweet you're sweet buns he is he's very reckless with some things that he says and he never means it because because I didn't no one gave me the memo that [ __ ] was bad yeah you shouldn't say that yeah okay to be clipped all right all right no don't say or that or [ __ ] really yeah you have to see a little person I met a little person comedian the other night at the Laugh Factory I went to sad you know you already know I met him it's like saying oh no this guy's gonna feel really bad cuz it wasn't Brad it was some of it was me poor cop sees friend a little guy you know who neighbor goes yeah yeah I know Nate but it's not Brad Williams no Brad Williams is like super famous right like he's yeah he's doing good yeah this guy was not he's a [ __ ] no he was but can I see something what I was watching Godzilla the Matthew Broderick Godzilla one right I mean is there anything more stereotyped than that it's one of my favorites okay the Matthew Broderick Godzilla yeah oh the baby and well what's his name what was the cameraman's name he played I love him he's a good actor um anyway he's chasing after Godzilla cuz he said he's a film like he newscast her cameraman well who write I wanna know who it is no his name is um he's a very good they game us it come a couple years ago didn't work but I like look it up jean Reno no it wasn't Hank Azaria yeah Hank you don't like them yeah I love Hank Azaria but he's he's more than how-to sitcom a couple years ago that didn't work I mean he's pretty well great all right that's facts I'm not you know I just said I would like him a lot yeah so he's running with the camera and his girlfriend goes where you going you're [ __ ] Yeah right and I remember as a you know young man watching that movie not having a problem with it 1998 yeah but they changed the rules what I'm saying is it's not you who has a problem with it of course you wouldn't but if you have a family member who has disabilities and things like that it would it would hit you differently yeah it would hit you the wrong way and I've learned that by my beautiful girlfriend who works with and my sister who works with special needs and learning that and you know as someone who i remember i was telling tyler earlier that I remember a bit he used to do and if we talked about this and his last one just cut this out but yeah that a bit used to do where people thought you were a special needs person on the side of the right selling corn oh yeah yeah yeah you still I still have a version of that joke yeah gotta let it go bro yeah no juice just just say corn the way you say corn because that's what he cries are expanding yeah but we you know what if one day like you know um this [ __ ] like people see Chinamen right and that's wrong is it I don't know I don't say anything when it comes to stuff cuz I don't know what's correct because it's not what the problem is is we've we've we've switched to not wondering like what's in the heart of a person we've just switched to words and like nobody wants to I mean not nobody but most people don't want to offend other people but it comes from not it just comes from not knowing which is ignorance like an ignorance is not a bad word when you when you it's in the right context it's just that you don't know it doesn't mean you're a racist person it doesn't mean you're a big person if you are clearly just making a mistake in semantics or words like yeah it's like I went Andrew Santino was in Japan mm-hmm and he did that little thing with video and you'd go to every chap and he's gonna go Bobby Bobby Bobby right now if I didn't know the guy yeah I'd be like [ __ ] that guy right but you know I know what is hard is and I make fun of his red hair and his heritage isn't that what true equality is is what everybody can be made fun of yes I rap like no matter if you are in a wheelchair or if you're like nobody has a problem making fun of fat people still though well I'll be real let's be real honest about that fat people are still a pretty simple easy target you can't believe you know what one thing you would be surprised by yeah you're fat - [ __ ] yeah I know okay I know I know and I love that about you I don't have that I care I know I don't think you do yes I do but do you know do you want to know something that I think you'll be really surprised by I don't think I don't know if you've seen it or not but how quickly because people just assume oh you're on TV people recognize you and know who you are all the time that's not true I can walk around and nobody at least to my knowledge knows what what I do or who I am or whatever who I think I am around being on TV or what not yeah you know what I mean but how quickly I can be in Avon's parking lot and be like hey you're you're parked a little close to my car here like what a normal person would do and how quickly that becomes well yeah why don't you lose some weight and he'd be able to get into it oh yeah second yeah never been with me wins oh yeah yeah you V you've been with him yeah very funny no we were you were a guy backed into my car a guy completely backed into my car he was in getting himself ice cream it wasn't me yeah yes that's it no no no some place a cake remake I backed into my car and I just get out of my car and I walk up next to the car and I'm just like looking at him like like this yeah and he rolls down his window goes what's your [ __ ] problem and I go is that how you roll through life you just back into other people's car and and don't do anything about it so [ __ ] you you fat [ __ ] just like goes off on me it's reason why now I have cameras on the front and back of my cars are meant interactions oh because that guy could have easily had just apologized oh my god - in those kind of circumstances want to get recognized right then and there though no I don't I know in any part of it because I go read like you know my situation you know I can go and so I have to I've gone way I backed away away from so people just out of just their immediate response is to make fun of someone's weight of course but I'm no different than anyone else like in that in that aspect I'm glad I'm able to like say like yeah I know it happens because it happens to me so imagine just the I've seen it happen before with people but anyway my point is there is like we're putting making this whole list of what we can and can't say let's let's start adding fat people to the list we will that we judge ourselves by our intentions but we judge others by mere words and actions like we always say oh I'm not a bigot I'm not this because we know our personal intentions right but well we judge others by we never stop to think about what their intention is we only just hear words we hear actions and that's it we like react based on that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah Wow you know I've learned so much I'm being real and I'm gonna say something that you know I know that ground breaking stop pumping vulnerable I love that about you Bob okay so I'm gonna be vulnerable and um I want to say that because you know in my head I think Eric Stonestreet at every second right it's just like just being going to a party after party you kidding I know about this saying in your own mind when you're driving down the road and you see a modern family you know bill apart you go that guy's congratulate great you know I just mumble to myself you know your head right but deep down right you're you just think that he is you're living this you know life but you you do have human moments well that's the craziest thing I was just um I forget I was home in Kansas City and somebody asked me something what was it that started the conversation but the point is um and I told my mom this I said did you hear how she asked that question like she oh she said well oh she said how so-and-so doing how so-and-so do it and I don't have to ask about you I know you're doing great and we got in the car when we drove away and I said to my mom I said see that's a that's a interesting insight you just saw right there because because of what her perception me which admitting Lea is is awesome thankful grateful for financial gain Fame TV whatever all that but that nobody considers the personal side that life's complexities still happen you still deal with scary things vulnerable things parents health fails all that stuff still seeps in but because I'm on TV and make money it's like well I know you're doing great yeah when it's like it's crazy and here's the thing though it's like the people say that also like you didn't do the work though you know like I am being real um even when we were on Mad back in the day we wish to bring you on the audition because you brought heat I mean I had every commercial that I had probably lost was given to you back in that day you know I mean we were it for years you know doing it mm-hmm so when you when that happened for you it wasn't like one of those things were like [ __ ] that guy you know you're like oh yeah that's a given that's you know it's like there's a lot of guys out there like that that if I if they become a gigantic sitcom star it would be like a no brainer right but still it's like you know you worked your ass off to get there and and also I'm learning that we all go through this thing called life we all have it but the the truth is it's like uh and I've told my you know people this before it's like I'm not getting a ton of incoming phone calls saying how you doing today like how are you yeah you know what I mean and the reason is because and I kind of think nobody not that they don't care but because I've got this visible thing that's clearly going well yeah I don't maybe have a tremendous amount of complaining to do or get to do don't you yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I get what you're saying yeah yeah it's like and then so it all starts to make sense when you cuz I don't consider myself like a Robin Williams or Chris Farley or guys like that or you know like people that have real can go real dark real quick not that personality but you know you've had your struggles and a lot of your friends have had their struggles and you can see how it can get real serious real quick when nobody's assuming you can be having a bad day because you're so funny onstage blow me away today I have this really deep fear of getting wealthy wealthy mm-hmm and it's because I do have a propensity for that type of Darkness that I feel that if I were to ever have everything I want financially and I still have that same darkness that I wouldn't have I wouldn't be able to explain the pains that I'm going through like right now you know bills and things and all of those things I could be like okay I'm feeling depressed or kind of blue and I have things to blame it on mm-hmm what I fear that if I were to have all of that financially and all I would have to blame it on is my actual darkness or demons you're you're so in the wheelhouse of real thing real life yeah that's terrified I had a day I had his day similar to that yesterday this premiere for Secret Life of pets was yesterday not that I'm gonna get into this but I just have a lot of stressful things going on in my life and yesterday was a super happy awesome day and for that moment of sustained like excitement like I'm at a movie premiere that of a movie that I'm in with Kevin Hart and Harrison Ford and this is awesome awesome awesome but when that ends where do you go back to you go back right back to that place that is very normal everyday person which is these concerns and stresses that you have in your life right yeah so I think about that all the time where you know people's perception of how you're doing is you can be very much alone in that world where people aren't checking in with you a tremendous amount somebody I was was gonna say this to you but somebody gave me a rock of cocaine in Edmonton are you serious yeah knowing that you were sober no they didn't know that about me they're like a man welcome to Canada and I opened and I'm not a friend Oh No and I was like [ __ ] you know what is it you know but he thinks you know like I just assumed that he things that I'm just partying or something well but he also he also just thinks you guys became instant friends right but after the shows I ended up being in my hotel room and I was picking the dead skin off the bottom of the seat yeah it just strips of it right because I have a left foot yeah and then I took one piece of skin so deep that I couldn't you know it hurt when I wha yeah so I was like in my underworld walking around but that's what I'm doing I'm not doing cocaine with a bunch of process what did you do with the cocaine just I gave it to another guy like an open-mike err throw it away bro it's cocaine you throw away cocaine I could if somebody gave you cocaine like see like a baseball cocaine walk throw it away you wouldn't go a Johnny come over and one of two things I would either throw it away or lace it with really bad poison and then give it to someone no of course I would throw it away you don't do drugs never did drugs I know you well I've smoked pot and I did mushrooms once and it was the worst night of my life mushrooms wait what was it like it was so awful has amazing mushroom stories and no one ever tells me the bad stuff except one time I saw my sister run naked through like a cornfield while on shrooms and then she thought her hands were bleeding but that it was like okay maybe that's just a bad trip mine is so sad and terrible and all that it's like anybody listening that thing's like I'm gonna do Shirley what happened who are you with I was with my best friend Paul and we were watching a bug's life okay of course we're like let's finally do the truth yeah yeah so we do the shrooms and we're sitting there and it's like are you feeling anything he's like no yeah no and then eventually it was like oh my stomach really hurts and it was back when phones look like Nokia like the little the ones you could place snake on oh yeah great game so we each have those kinds of phones yeah and I go maybe I gotta go lay down in my bed yeah I got on this couch too so I go and I lay facedown in my bed this isn't my old house in Valley Village in LA based out on the vent and I go are you okay across the house and he goes yeah I said okay I'm gonna get on my phone and on the timer and I want you to just estimate when 30 seconds go by and I'll start and he goes okay and I go go and this whole sudden I hear stop they stop it was three minutes Oh minutes had passed so then he goes okay now you go go stop three seconds I was so over trying to get thirty seconds yeah it was I then we both threw up Wow and we late we slept it off for like an hour and a half and then never it's so sad yeah so boring such an awful story some people get spiritual awakening Oh God it was I knew who did that it was terrible yeah awful and then I didn't do pot until I was like 26 and I moved out here and I was doing a play where I had to be stoned in it and I thought okay well I've lived enough of a life that I'm not gonna like get hooked on pot I'm gonna try it so at least when I'm doing this play I know what it feels like so I can portray being stoned accurately yeah and then I you know I tried to get started on smoking weed but it just never stuck yeah it's video games are the same way don't never got into video game the only thing that I you know have a clear issue with is you know yeah but you know what I don't I don't honest I'm gonna be honest with you may I be honest with you you're for how many years have we known each other honest with each other yeah I don't if if I were to describe you to somebody I don't think that that would be in there yeah see and you know let me tell you something about fat people listening right now or heavyset people listening when I look back at pictures of myself in yearbooks okay eighth grade ninth grade seventh grade when I was in the eighth grade I was six-foot a hundred and sixty-five pounds but I was the fat kid when I look back at pictures of myself as a freshman I was six foot one 220 pounds but I was the fat kid when I look back at pictures of myself in the fourth grade I was the chubby fat kid but my point is as I grew out of that but I was still the biggest kid in my class so I've never not thought of myself as the fat kid but you're not the first person to say like when I see you that's not what I think do you know what I mean but my I've never had any other opinion of myself so people listening you know it's like they say when you have a pimple on your face you see it other people don't really notice it but you you you really get it like you have that thing on your nose right now that's a huge huge thing what is that is it a growth you should have that looked at good lord I can't look at anything else all right I'm trying to look in your eyes but I look back at those pictures and I get sad for myself because I think like well I wasn't fat in 7th 8th 9th grade and then but the you know but don't you think that the reason why you're where you're at is because of those issues that you had growing up because you use people use humor as a defense mechanism right and you want to become an actor to become somebody else or you like pretending to be I mean I feel like some of my self-esteem issues and problems I had as a young person bleeds into my career has something to do with it like yeah some sort of cat like up launching pad or no yeah I what have you did you watch the Chris Farley documentary that I just won it's phenomenal you need to watch it but what it reminded me of I was in Chicago and Chris died and I only saw him in person once but I know his brother Kevin I know his brother John and I know a lot I know all those guys do I love that knew them that knew Chris and he a lot of people that knew Chris so I felt like I after his passing kind of got to know him a little bit but that documentary was great and one of the things that I was telling Tyler that it really solidified in my brain is that Chris Farley kind of taught me what I wanted my career to look like or help me define it because I never wanted to be that version of an actor of where I'm taking my shirt off and dancing around didn't mean I didn't love him for being able to do it yeah and do that stuff but it meant like wow I don't possess that and I don't want to pretend I possess that ability to do that right and what it taught me was like I have insecurities deep insecurities but you know what my insecurities aren't as deep as that just look into drugs and to look into alcohol and look into this like this notion of getting up on stage and going berserk yeah you know I mean I think that you would do it in as a role yeah you could play that guy but the saddest line we were in that documentary is when he calls a friend of his and on Saturday night when he's on Saturday Night Live and he's talking to her at Second City and he says well they wrote a sketch again this week making fun of the fat guy there's just something it just it broke my heart like yeah yeah broke my heart because he was willing to do it for not necessarily the best healthy reasons yeah yes yeah why you know I you know a girl might do every dude in high school she's looking for something right yeah yeah and I what you know I did one line in David Spade's Hawaii movie one line when movie it's Adam Sandler produced I don't know buzz all new yeah hasn't come out yet so Netflix okay but I was in Hawaii and I was eating dinner with David and we talked about um fart Chris Farley and he told me that when he went Farley died you know where he was and the way he was describing number one you could tell that Chris Farley that you and I like everyone in this room we'd be his friend yeah he's one of the nicest guys and number two um how heartbreaking that moment was for David you know you know I mean I'm sure that's not I'm not saying anything that you know he totally told me yeah he's still peace I mean he's on the record that he still can't talk about it a tremendous and we can't so pain you could tell that it was emotionally like still raw for him and and he even hangs out with Chris I mean his brothers was it whatever in heaven in John yeah and it's still hard for him cuz it reminds them of Chris but um yeah it's the what a sad like what a talented guy man unbelievable legend um Pat Finn is in the documentary and he's a friend of mine and he he said one of the things that stuck with me is that Chris surrounded himself with such amazing funny people and the worst thing about his funeral was all those amazing funny people crying yeah yeah yeah but it's also like you know we we have friends that you know that are in that that have been in that struggle before so it's like people Chris was important to a lot of people you know and they said why are we going this guy's wedding why are we going to his funeral yeah he couldn't get out of it John Goodman you gotta watch it dude it's no no I wanna watch it what is it on what is it on a biography channel I think haini haini and it's a crime we're gonna watch it tonight yes 100% have you watched free soul oh yes I met him I met the dude that climbed El Capitan whoa met him at the upfronts this year why is OUTFRONT because it's our last season of Modern Family and they brought us in yeah but what he is he doing though he's doing some for Nat Geo oh yes no I is he nice talk to him about Allah yeah didn't have any recognition of any of us and what we do for a living like Sophia's there we're all there has no recognition I don't have no problem with that yeah yeah and then he um I said wow dude your fingers are like unbelievable and he very matter-of-factly look at me and said well yeah I work out a lot I know I mean yeah I know that movie and saw what you do so you know I know that ending when I was actually doing it I mean did you sweat like I know I was on a plane I watched it on a plane oh wow so you're on a plane watching it I could I was like this at some point yeah in my face I could how many times have I seen the ending a thousand times I know every gap you know min-ho this is what he climbs down I told it this is what I said to a jet I said I feel like I'm meeting the real life breathing version of the Mona Lisa like you're one of one bro you are one of one yeah that is [ __ ] because you couldn't you if somebody said name me some funny people I could probably rattle off what hold on I want to know if somebody randomly said name me some funny people would I even make your top ten 100% you swear to god yeah because I'd have to also throw out people that people would know oh so that's why I would make it no but you know what let me say something okay here's the thing dude what is is that I've seen you do sketch I've seen you do live sketch yeah okay I've seen you do commercial work TV show moves you what do we almost famous you were in that movie remember yeah so um you I've seen you do all kinds of [ __ ] things you know man so yeah you would be in the top 15 BQ because you know how you have your insecurities and you've always wanted me to think you're like a good hearing you're a good actor you have always said like just do you think I'm a good actor DS you've always said that and I always tell you I think you're a good actor like one can control remember yeah I do but we but but do you know what I've always like because of modern family being like on ABC and being like a conventional sitcom the idea that a comedic like comedians no know that I'm funny in addition to the words that I say on screen that's a desire of mine now that we're in the twilight of the show is because I feel like so the fact that you would if you were in a group of room with your comedians and they said well who's funny and you said me that would make me feel that's like would make me feel really good I do I'm gonna tell you something right now every time that I've seen you at the Comedy Store like when you come and visit me a couple times how the [ __ ] do you know him or how did you compete you know I mean it's always like those kind of questions yeah and I'm you already know bro I'm gonna say this here's the thing because we're gonna do the question but here's the thing is is that as of late doing this podcast I've struggled at the 10-minute mark okay we're ten minutes in I'm like just right this is gone so smoothly expecially scissors it's so easy and right that I could do this for the next three or four hour or not because we have a guest at nine come who else let's go you have Steve Byrne coming there's a comic you know you don't you don't need to know but you the nice guy and I can't wait but this has gone so smoothly what time is it 2007 okay that um you number one I'm convinced that if you did do one it would be an immediate yeah because you know you know you're gonna do it all right Anna Faris does it everyone's depend on hers I've done her still yeah it's great it's fun super fun I love the long form I love telling stories hey did we tell the story last time and then I'll go I mean I know I know we're doing the clock yeah but we have a lot of aegyo did we tell the story last time of when because I just told the story and it's one of my favorite stories of when I went to see you at the San Diego improv and Dave Attell was performing know and he and okay so what happened we were backstage and I'm not a comedian I'm not on TV I'm doing commercials and I went down to see you perform down in San Diego and I don't know who Dave Attell is at that time you know it's when I was doing the shows with Mattel and Mencia yeah yeah yeah yeah and so we're out in the back and everybody's smoking their cigarettes and Dave Attell gets ready to go up and go on and I just being an improv guy and whatever I say hey man have a good show and he looks at me and goes thanks old-timer and it made me feel one inch tall in that moment it was so [ __ ] great yeah that was awesome like I didn't mean it like that yeah such a great freaking hilarious spin yeah are you still friends with him I love him okay Dave Attell never know you have falling out with you know I don't I don't in fact I can tell you right now um I have no enemies no i-i've one about Yoshi and yeah I have one and I can save just one tyler's probably uh Tyler loves me I can tell you know why he say I [ __ ] me that's dope dude side i [ __ ] he looked at me the side proof right mhm and we're like he's coming but not in a sexual way I know that you're straight right are you straight well it's not high-five that I'm not high-fiving I just did one of these [ __ ] framer deal you know what I also just about Freddie America here I was in mminton and there was a skinny kid with a mustache you kind of look like Freddie Mercury so I go hey ladies and gentlemen it's sick freddie mercury right yeah and he got super sad I don't have AIDS and I'm like yes to choke it's a comical just a little better for all don't get [ __ ] what if he was really feeling himself walked out the door and he was like doing a [ __ ] calming Club and I [ __ ] say [ __ ] like that right it's a part of any way we do otherwise what if he's anemic okay [ __ ] what we do this thing where we we have an email question we answer it oh did somebody send me questionin we're doing so go ahead on hopeful bus with Bobby kalila and Eric Stonestreet second city right there Chicago trained him a little more moral predicament and wanted to get a little unhelpful advice I'm currently dating a wonderful woman whom I'm like very much recently she went on a vacation and while she was gone something happen that I'm not sure if I need to tell her or not hmm I ran into a woman I had hooked up with years prior and we just had a friendly chat and that seemed to be that the next day she messaged me and started to down the road to reminiscing about our escapades I probably stopped her and said I was seeing someone and that it was was not appropriate for me to engage into that type of conversation my question is do I need to tell my girlfriend or should I just forget about it I'm not to have a guy do the right thing only to score points my girlfriend so is there any need for me to tell her that he did nothing condense it tell me what tell me what it is I feels guilty that while his girlfriend was out of town he was reminiscing with an ex about their sexcapades the attacks or phone call let's assume they met in person when they were arraignment it's not on purpose they met in person met in person not on purpose but then continue to Tech's after you okay and he was they were talking about remember that one time we did it classic yeah right the giraffe giraffe oh yeah it's hard to get up there though okay that right now you need a ladder or hot no I wouldn't say anything wouldn't I would not say anything I mean first of all he's not duty unless he got a [ __ ] he feels guilty so I don't know what thing he'll put his he put the brakes on he put the paint create clear boundaries he did he stopped the conversation seeing somebody we shouldn't well tell Matt that another one hold on one second I want to know what you would really do in real life if you were to like reminisce with an ex would you like tell me about it like hey I caught up what what now we're in dangerous Honduras yes so dangerous listen if I okay if I first of all if I went into let's say let's throw out one sarah hyland that we had used to date a girl named Sarah Hyland that you're Sarah Hyland yeah I know all right she's a nice girl and she's married and she's a lesbian right she's married to a woman and I'm very and I support it I'm really into the lb lb so here's the deal all right but I would say and she was like remember one time we did it in Vegas yeah yeah that was weird well what was worried about it well you I was you cared me like a backpack forever it's not like a koala and you're like a tree remember yeah you always let me know when you catch up with someone else and I do the same but I had this most recent I've had something similar happened to me where an ex was trying to like push to reminisce yeah and I felt the need to always just put hahahaha because trying to like deflect because I was uncomfortable I didn't want to say oh yeah I remember that but instead of putting like clear boundaries I just kept saying haha and then never responded after yeah if you if you if your mouth is around another man's fleshy penis yeah you know then and then it's gonna hurt me yeah but don't you want a little warning before it gets to that wow that's interesting a little warning hey I'm about to put my mouth right I know but if the relationship is already there it's over yeah right that's if we're at a point where she's about to have his mouth on her it's less she's mouth on her time or either way right Kashmir yeah but it the relationship is over yeah but what I do though even though I don't set clear boundaries with him is I share the text with him like she does she shows me dig pits yes guys send you disrespectful it's not even it's sending you that they're fans yeah Rito doles out right you want to hear something crazy I got I got a picture through a friend okay a friend of mine who is gay was exchanging messages with another gay man on a dating site and not knowing he's friends with me got a dick pic of a guy with Modern Family on in the background and cam on the screen with a big giant dick and the guy's hand around a stick and I made it you really do yeah well you're like music on an elevator right you just like yeah I have a question what's the biggest fight you guys have ever gotten into like what did you have you I mean maybe I'm going into some really deep territory here but have you ever moved out have you guys ever broken up in that way I had one moment and I was sitting there in the watching TV and I turned around to look in this room from the couch and imagine there's no tables or anything in here she's in the middle of this thing staring into this mirror mm-hmm and I could tell she was on the our way out yeah that's because in the beginning when we first started dating he didn't know how to properly he didn't know how to not hurt my feelings like he would text women things like I want a raw dog and then lend me his phone right after and I'm like wait a second this hurts me Eric thought you didn't know you know I had to be very clear with him I'm like look whatever agreements you've had in your previous relationship this [ __ ] won't fly here this hurts me yeah and so [Laughter] oh and the other other other big fight we got into is because we have a neighbor who's been inappropriate with me and the elevator what and Bobby does a Disney hello to him every time okay no stop stop stop don't say hi to that guy I [ __ ] hate him he groped me in an elevator and he does hey come to my show tonight Annie okay stop stop stop all right and I'm gonna just say this all right you're right it's [ __ ] up yeah but my neighbor next door right is he's a fancy somebody he's a fancy yeah that's why he doesn't he's I'm not gonna say that what band but he is the DJ right of a gigantic band oh yeah you lost me at DJ but he does like the sound and all that stuff right yeah um here's the thing is is that so he did that to her right think he rubbed against her his hand against her whole body knowing very well that I long time and so whenever I see him I don't know what to do so he comes out like I'm a 12 year old boy yeah hey what's up come to my show why don't you and I wait outside your apartment went together for him he would destroy us really yeah not true I I have my money on on you guys I don't want to fight anybody right now we have Tyler with us oh [ __ ] yeah you know what we got into a great conversation the other day a segue should I bring it up it's too long of a conversation yeah he can't tell me what is it now you have to tell me what okay can anyone in this room or anyone at all in the world kill a 900 pound cow with their bare hands with no weapons no cows eat grass have you think about this very well what I can't use anything can't use anything just hand your bare hands if you have to think about the thickness of cowhide - boom so you can't hide do we have a time limit uh no no time limit sure is it alive its alive can you kill it I'm gonna grope you after that we just have to impale it no no no you have to kill right now okay is no can that happen yeah now can it happen Oh 100% yes one hard percent yes give me away it's a ton nine hundred pound cow a cow not a bull a cow doesn't matter a cow Bulls cows graze how do you do it then with your hands well if you have all the time but you can use hold on you can't just bite into it with your teeth it's very act no no what I'm gonna do is I'm going to well I don't know I've never done it so then you know the first thing I would do is I would climb on its back sure I would climb on its back okay and just lay there thinking yeah and I would try different things like I would do psych you know have you ever been next to a cow never seen one yeah yes we have in the Philippines but it was a skinny yeah but those are Filipino they're not the real one [Music] it's just they just they just don't look like in the photo yeah in the Philippine weird look they're like they're like roosters you know have like we have good roosters and they're going to yeah I don't know I probably know about a Filipino restaurant in Glendale called max is it good and they have good or cherry curry and they have good bye sexist classics just a classics basically but if you need a really good Filipino restaurant okay what about fright Filipinos and Asians in general are really good with fried chicken we get fried pork is our thing in the Philippines okay we have roasted chicken that's really good but our parks I think hey Bobby how good is Korea are Koreans with fried chicken wings [ __ ] great right do you ever go the one on 6th Street what's it called debacle there that that the answer is you cannot Tyler over there puffy eyes andre agassi thinks you can and I'm like no okay just quickly how would just give me a runway to do it Crouch though yeah yeah yeah eat the mic I'm just saying that you can't say that there's not a beggar if Bear Grylls were to be in this pen or whatever we have setup for this cow yeah he he wouldn't he wouldn't get killed by the cow I'd be in a pen with a cow I wouldn't be killed by it so I have a week to kill this cow I think we're repeatedly kicking it I know they have a tough school you could break all their legs slowly one a day yeah a 900-pound cow's leg I'm not doing anything with 900 pounds I'm breaking one leg yeah that's not 900 pounds break one leg it supports 900 pounds so it's easy to break got all that weight working against it you jump kick two feet right into the side of the knee happens in football all the time break one leg let it relax for a bit it's how wolves kill here's how I know here's how I know you're wrong I just thought of it there was a documentary called Zoo okay it was about a guy dying up in Washington because a horse [ __ ] in the butt yeah yeah right a horse they'd been impaled his organs as Helles organs and all his guts came out of his butthole yeah that's what you could do to the cow to with your fin no no but but but think of it right think of it they'll dude he says what why [ __ ] a horse when you can [ __ ] a cow because there's something about them they don't have cows it doesn't matter that's why people don't love them you've never heard died because he [ __ ] the horse the horse [ __ ] him yeah yeah either way the cows not gonna [ __ ] you why they're girls these are girls unless it cowgirl do you walk away yeah anyway no that don't make any sense no that no what's wrong with you I know when I was saying it in my head I'm like this is nothing this is nothing your face believed I know thank you anyway what a great podcast that was I you know but can I say this I really want you to do one and if you ever want to plug anything Eric seriously you know I love what I love you like a brother I really do love you you're great and yours and you were so even back in the day my brother Steve loves you so much you know you know we love you the Lee's love stone streets really yeah we do like almost in a family like matter I really do I like your friend who looks like a tiler assassin from all the assassins were Bourne Identity would like him yeah you have a hoodie on right the hole you don't trust them and Bobby I love you too I love you guys too thank you know what no I want no in the next month or something what's what get a meal I asked for a meal tonight show the text on the screen I said get Korean food and let's eat the whole podcast okay wait Steven Steve burn just [ __ ] what Steve Burns problem I don't know see you at 9:00 as Kerry as does this go live or post tonight or I dare to what a rookie yes you know what a rookie okay said is that no all right I don't want beef with Steve no no I don't know I mean I don't know him but I don't want B for them is Ariel text all right give them a round of applause Eric is that how it ends yeah yeah that's really shitty ending wait end on end on my friends song than you I will you say his name over time Charles pastry Charles he knows your brother Steve yeah hold on hello I don't have it on I believe you yeah what is that - just the sponsors Oh I'll do that later yeah we do later right yeah let's end on a good note yeah it was great seeing you guys he's really you don't do watch that anymore do you no never did me either oh yeah that's right you never did that's true can you take a photo with our Newton okay no bloato's thank you we'll be right back with some housekeeping what a fun podcast Jules getting to meet Eric Stonestreet guys thanks to our sponsors post mates hymns and shipstation for limited time post mates giving our listeners $100 of free delivery credit for your first seven days download the app and use the promo code then leave and get your complete haircare for just five dollars today at four hems dot-com slash belly and if you have a small business or need to ship things for any other reason you can try shipstation for free for 60 days we use the promo code belly that ship station calm promo code belly if you want to be part of my exclusive Tiger belly [ __ ] family patreon and get premium audio episodes every week go to patreon.com/scishow belly and I'm sure you already know it but our new unhelpful advice email is advice unhelpful at gmail.com any quick shot us before we go she has not so guys follow us on Tiger belly on Instagram on Twitter at that Tiger belly and you most any questions of course that advice and help let gmail.com have a good night [Music] so word of kalila true pink dick was even a boy Bobby escaped from the to the wanna gang so we wouldn't get cut when Gilbert does that deep voice and still tickles my nuts this podcast is here to help relax the listeners enough [Music] [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 341,021

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, podcast, khalyla, tgrbly, all things comedy, eric stonestreet, modern family, your mom's house, Your Mom's House Podcast - Ep. 504 w/ Tigerbelly, ellen, scares, emmys, commercial, late night, interview, Eric Stonestreet ‘Licks It’, talk show, jimmy kimmel, stephen colbert, jimmy fallon, chris d'elia, tfatk, kats

Id: UcrCdK49q9Q

Length: 96min 29sec (5789 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 20 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/joekrunk]

love this show so much. Eric Stonestreet is Eric Stonesweet.

[u/TokiOFFICIAL]

pretty good episode, i'm excited for episode 200

george you gotta find a big celebrity for bobby!!

[u/idiot437]

wow no comments on Khalyla's sexual assault in the elevator or stonestreet going into beast mode wanting to kick someones ass for it...

[u/YaMochi]

Who’s the neighbor that groped her? Fuckface should be put on blast.

[u/stepdmbc]

Backstreet never disappoints!

[u/DBA_HAH]

Where are the song clips they said they would post?

[u/f_si33le]

Damn Khalya lookin real good right here. Slept King better watch his six.

[u/Kpochi]

Any news on that Hudson brothers podcast?

[u/Fantastic__Planet]

I think Eric is yet to hear of comedians in cars getting coffee.