Clips You’ve NEVER SEEN Before From The Graham Norton Show | Part Five

and is it true that you are mistaken for daniel radcliffe it happens a lot and he's mistaken for me and apparently signs my name because cheeky yeah it saves you the time you're busy it is i was in an elevator once this was many years ago but i was in an elevator and you know that thing when you're in an elevator with one other person and there's that kind of awkward silence and you're both kind of looking busy doing not like at the buttons you know and so there was that and i could tell that this by this guy's energy that he wanted to say something he was working it up working it up working it up and then all of a sudden he burst out and said harry potter [Laughter] and i was like no so funny well let's see how it could happen let's have a look at some examples there you are now turn full face smile it's not do you mean i do sort of see it let's try another one let's try another one okay turn to the side that's not so good uh let's see one more you're both in your own ways sort of sex symbols there are well you are don't laugh at that encourage the guests your sex symbols yes ladies and gentlemen it is true you you get the attention of the ladies yes you get you get i don't get but they don't want to shag me though they want to they write to me and say oh you seem nice would you like to come to the guildford golden area for a pint that's quite a lot right there isn't it of oddness it's it's quite enough when i did i did a play here a long time ago almost 20 years ago in 1990 called burnedness and i kept i had i don't anymore but i had a whole collection of the letters i received many of which had accompanying photos and many of the photos were sort of along the order of either this uh is me on my beach vacation last year in croatia on the dalmatian coast it happened to be a nude beach see this is what i don't get okay this is me with my puppy i'll just crack one off now then so if it wasn't that sort of photograph what sort of photograph would it be a full close-up of it what pudenda or the puppy the the croatian coastline croatian girls put that in an envelope for mr mcmahon [Music] better this time that's it that's beautiful darling that's beautiful [Music] [Laughter] i wasn't in one of those at the station [Applause] [Music] and you know you just what do you say back to them in a way you say thank you it's lovely that's very very kind it's fascinating but i'm more [Applause] you're either a potter or a leaver you're either someone if you're asked where your keys are you'll say they're where i put them in which case you're a good human or you'll say that where i left them in which case you will die of dysentery and in relationships you always get one with the other you always get a putter with a lever because two putters will kill each other and it justify you know because i've always been the putter so i've always been the one going oh that goes there and that's please love me because it is interesting this thing about like quirky rules for living because we we've we've tried it with audience form because we thought oh this will be funny and so when when do people laugh at you for your rules or they're going to go yes you're so right we do need rules for living yeah no it's a bit of but i i i make sure that everyone i talk about people will at least see the logic behind i don't want to be the knotter on stage just going i can only eat blue ones so i i like to feel people not and everyone had you're out of compliment everyone has something even if you don't know if you you'll be at someone's house on the toilet and you will turn their toilet roll around without even knowing you've done it and everyone's got a little yeah you see you're all probably need something did you have a quirky habit do you have a rule do you have a quirky habit like a habit like uh yeah i used to have some crazy pre-performance like quirks that i i've decided to get rid of all of those because i'm the personality type that if i uh if i decide that i'm going to start needing things before i go on stage it's just going to escalate to the point of being completely intolerable but in the first two or three years of my career i um i decided in my own crazy mind that i couldn't go on stage unless i had some kind of um like patterned or colored socks and underwear uh i know crazy but i could not have white underwear socks i just thought if i if i go out on stage in white socks and underwear it's going to be the worst show i've ever had in my life so i would actively find like polka dot underwear on stage yeah because already i'm thinking you're right white socks are wrong that's right white underpants is that good but white socks also white underwear in a situation of high stress is awesome maybe that's subconsciously that's what i was thinking yeah catherine what do you yeah no the thing i still do but i think it's related to superstition you know that thing they say you should never cross on the stairs well i do cross people on the stairs but i always say in my mind when when i cross someone on the stairs or they cross me on the stairs i wish you luck and no no what is it oh [ __ ] oh god no here it is when someone cross me on the stairs i go you'll bring me luck i'll bring you look and that's what i say in my head i'm a witch i do and i can't not say it i can't not say it in my head david you crazy do you know something something that i'm aware i i i've conquered one i used to spend an awful lot of time if you blokes tend to have lots of black socks right and i had to get the right black sock with the right black salt and i would spend hours with socks but look graham look look this has changed my life oh no no no this has changed my life i can't i'm so excited i can't get my look this will change my life with a hidden pattern [Music] [Applause] so you can tell and secretly secreted in your shoe is the answer to all your ones and these ones even better because these ones tell you what day to wear them on [Applause] you've changed my life but your school was quite rough yes my school was i grew up in pretty much like ghetto i know it's the blonde hair blue eyes that that tricks you but then you hear me talk and then you go what is like what's wrong with this person would you get into proper fights yeah well you had to being a skinny white girl i mean that's that's a you have to be able to defend yourself yeah yeah do you have a hood name [Applause] [Laughter] do you want to show them what you're packing today no i tucked it okay oh you mean this yeah [Applause] yeah i do she says she's packing yeah we meant lip gloss now we were talking about uh you're going to school because your parents but your parents weren't very strict and your granny your granny was like a bear grylls my granny would have put you to shame tell me about your grandma okay my granny was like she lived off the land i mean literally she raised everything that she that she ate and um and made all her own clothes and everything and during the summer she would go to arizona because she where she lived in the valley in california that was is about 100 degrees in the summer but it was too cold for her so she had to go to arizona where it's 120 degrees during the summer and she would walk around with just like her skirt on and a pair of sandals topless and now this is a woman who has six children okay they were like they were down here yeah they were they were they were the bad teacher would not have worn them no uh they were like kind of below the waistband probably where they belong where god intended where you could just like flip them over the shoulder for the baby that's what they do in africa right they do they that's why boobies are supposed to sag so that you can put them over the shoulder wrap it under so the babies on the back can eat suckle and you don't have to stop working yeah a little lesson right there you go so this is going to help if your granny did that so my i don't know if she ever actually did it it's good but she would go hunting in the desert with a machete and she would come back with a rattlesnakes and my my uncle said that his one of his his visuals of his mother is like walking up with sandals skirt topless beheaded snake and bloody machete and a smile and a smile got dinner you could have loved the bear yeah absolutely is that amazing yeah because you're now you're growing you had snake i have had snake yeah it tastes like chicken it doesn't taste like chicken they always say everything tastes like chicken but it doesn't survival food doesn't taste like chicken it's no i had i had um chicken one time that tastes like cat i was pretty sure that it was bad it tastes like cat it smells like that yeah i was like i took the leg and i was like that's not a chicken leg that's funny that's the biggest chicken leg up yeah this chicken had a fall yeah yeah stars in lovely gowns all dressed up that's your that's where you that's your home yeah because now the oscars were you doing the red carpet i did the red carpet this year and uh it was you weren't there no no working busy busy yes hi who you wearing or who the [ __ ] are you what's this f-word business this is called anybody can say this guy you can oh you can say that in english television i love that yeah i just say it a bunch of times yeah you go for it no oh it feels wrong to me really what can't you say here that's cool so don't say it okay the thing is i see you in the red carpet and you seem fearless but i looked at your website and there you actually go into the things you'd like to ask people but you don't have the nerve well you you there are certain rules that you just don't ask people certain things to their face okay so some of the stars you have uh brittany uh what what would you like to ask brittany well i would have loved to say why not the eyebrows also going for a [ __ ] do it and then of course katie and tom now what my favorites what would you say it looks like you popped out of a can i shouldn't say this is a bad show for me to be honest katie what would you say to katie you know the whole thing about the baby he's there for the the birth and i said was he there for the conception it was fun no i remember when she was pregnant the new york posted a big headline saying mission impossible and finally uh penelope cruz what would you what would you be asking for you love her every all the men loved don't they it's kind of a mesh outfit too it looks like it kind of just goes into one i'm just looking for the nipples [Music] looking for the nipples now um you want to see my nipples look at my toes [Applause] i'd actually love to see your nipples i know you would she's so beautiful but i would love to say to her do you understand yourself i don't know what she's talking about but she's kind of cute oh she's go she was the prettiest at the at the oscars you think she was the prettiest oh there was no question about it who was the worst dress uh oh two uh nicole kidman in that long red dress with that white face she looked like a ketchup bottle which ended up i guess that's the question she and i are oh and i love herself meryl streep oh winona ryder would not have stolen that dress it was just she looks like a a chinese lesbian why why was she wearing that outfit yes you get to the point where you go why not i mean how many times has she been i guess if you know you're not going to win you knew helen and it's the 30th time there and you're kind of feeling a little different and you know yeah like on a necklace it looks quite heavy though it looks like one of those pensioner alarm things doesn't it you know meryl knows help is on its way full halfway down the red carpet yes it looks heavy doesn't it i can't get it [Music] you

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 1,878,179

Rating: 4.9154105 out of 5

Keywords: Graham Norton, The Graham Norton Show, Graham Norton Funniest Moments, Graham Norton Funny, Graham Norton 2019, Graham Norton 2020“ Graham Norton new season, Graham Norton new series, Graham Norton best moments, david tennant, catherine tate, cameron diaz, elijah wood, joan rivers, john malkovich, Jon Richardson, joan rivers graham norton, david tennant graham norton, catherine tate graham norton, alan davies graham norton, graham norton rare interviews

Id: MZlw9lMjyz0

Length: 16min 29sec (989 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 12 2020