World's Funniest Comics On The Graham Norton Show! | Volume Three

and uh and kevin obviously you're like not just a stand-up you're like a stand-up superstar you sell out arenas all over the world the best of our time [Applause] but what's nice to know is it wasn't always like that i don't know like what was it what did you perform you performed at a seafood festival i mean which what [ __ ] show you want to know about that i think they wanted was it crap i had a crab fest what is that in the beginning of comedy you're not you're not performing in in luxury you know venues wherever they feel that they can build the stage and make money is where you're going so there was a crab fest we're gonna book some talent comedian talent and i was like all right well you know i'm available i don't know if you guys have ever tried to tell a joke while people cracking crabs it's not the best environment i mean literally the frustration that comes from not being able to open a crab you're not funny at the same time the stuff that you hear i remember hearing a woman an older lady who was like she was cracking crabs because this is how you crack crack she was looking at me and she's like cracking the crab i tell a joke and the joke doesn't work and i remember this lady just going oh no [Laughter] i don't think i would much rather be booed the disappointment from her voice and this oh no she said baby it was like oh no baby i said i made a mistake with my choice of life like i'm not doing it wrong i i mean you know look the the the hardship that i went through has helped help build me into the person i am today where i i can take so much but i've been through it all i was i was hit in the face with a buffalo wing [Applause] uh it was it was a it was actually a male strip club that they shut down for comedy for the first half so it was like there was a bunch of it was ladies in there and you know it was just supposed to be us performing for these women that were riled up first thing i got on stage when they introduced me and this lady was like pull it out i say hey hey hey that's not me i'm not here for that i'm here to entertain he's a joke i know who's got kids i start i start trying to merge into kid material there's one dude from the back i just remember this dude from the back he was like that's enough and he just threw a buffalo wing at me they landed hit me put me in the cheek a little bit of sauce gala right here buffalo sauce is hot i sauce that it was a woman with a deep voice so i was like who threw it who threw it because at the end of that i'm a man i'm a man first don't disrespect me he stood up he was like i did it and i i contemplated just taking my clothes off [Applause] i collect yeah well i i collect um stuff from movies uh that some of the movies i've done but really mainly star trek memorabilia because i love star trek oh such a nerd have you seen me have you never been in a stream now i've never been in a star trek but i love the original series so i have like i have the gorn head from the original series from the episode arena where i know from star trek we're going to give you the golden house oh wow okay do you have any of the boulders do you get any of the boulders i don't have any of the the light boulders yeah the paper mache no but i have spock's ears from yeah well they actually not they are yeah we know what they are they're worth yeah very good uh but um bridesmaids you did do a lot of kind of proper bonding on bridesmaids didn't you like party nights and stuff we did we did a pre uh recipe my co-writer annie and i had the idea to get all the girls together plus the script supervisor wardrobe just all like the women on the film 40. there were a lot of people 40 women it was it was pitched to me as research because initially there was a scene where we went to a gentleman's entertainment yeah and then we went to we went to a strip club um and we watched the show they didn't vignettes they did vinny there was like backdraft yeah it wasn't that it would all come out and like firemen stuff and then it was like right like everything had the same theme and everything involved it seemed like every number had a duster everything had a long trench coat a lot of equipment but they didn't do that do you remember the matrix one yeah there was somebody was playing neo wonderfully long trenches and guys in suits and everybody had these very cheap glasses on but i couldn't figure out the one guy had a huge huge thick rope around his waist and i was like i have not seen the matrix in a while i couldn't figure out you know couldn't we we're all like what's the rope about i don't remember a rope in the matrix and they're like doing these synchronized dancing it's like all this a close is coming off we're like [Music] [Laughter] i don't get what the rope is about and then the big move comes where you know the bullets come and he does like the back bend clearly this professional dancer could not do a back bend so the big move was like all of a sudden it's like oh and somebody off stage is clearly holding the ropes [Laughter] saturday night live also was a big bonding thing now because christian do you know leslie and and get cake we met i think we met when i hosted oh no we did a movie together um then we worked together after that after that okay yeah okay but now you guys are still in sacramento live which most people i'm sure no but it's a it's a big comedy sketch show in in america but how long have you worked together for how many years now it's been two after one right it's been three maybe three it's been three um after the first year leslie and my name is kate mckinnon and she uh i know that but uh she came up to me and she said after a year of knowing me you all right kate middleton [Laughter] and were you joking uh no i was not and i was like mckenna i was like who's middleton then she was like a princess [Applause] [ __ ] you did some great characters on saturday night live you're justin bieber justin bieber is spookily accurate thank you so much you've done it in front of him haven't you i have not you haven't have not breached yet um i met him before because he hosted snl once and then uh that was before i started doing an impression of him but i was so struck by how this was before he got really beefy for those calvin klein ends and now he looks like you know a big beefcake but um he was really he was very delicate and a very tender beautiful just such a beautiful face and such a big big hat such big clothes and just the most beautiful and i i am a huge fan of his and i love it now you have a special way of a special way of preparing the face haven't you yes um yes you you want to look as though you've done something wrong but like [Music] so now how old are you now i'm 77 and uh oh don't look oh don't don't that is all that i think they applaud because they know they're going to live longer than me in new york day plus that means there'll be a new apartment on the market soon i hate when people say like uh oh they're 77 years young i met vanessa uh vanessa feltz and she said to me here's jones she's 77 years young and i want to say and here's vanessa and she's 350 pounds things sucks and you have to face it and you have these i've been on this show with some of these older women that still try to look good no names goldie hawn she's my friend and she says to me would you believe i got a grown-up daughter and you go yes and lower your skirt your nipples are showing i mean there goes the goldy horn booking no age sucks said you gotta face it yeah but is it because america is really so youth obsessed i mean how and and in the film you show you know kind of that it is hard for a woman of your age to get the job it's beyond difficult the only jobs really left now for women unless they get friendly with people to do films the only jobs that are really commercials i just thank god my i made my yearly nut this year on a product called girly which is for dry vagina and it's um well anyone knows the heartbreak of dry vaginas [Applause] i was perfect for it [Applause] three jewish men are trying to rent my uterus instead of going to miami [Laughter] and this thank god for these commercials there's one called zestra has that come here yet it's like women's uh viagra has that happened here yet it's women's viagra and they have this big discussion with me should they make it in pill form this is honest to god truth it was in the newspapers pill form or cream because they didn't know which would do better and they finally decide these idiots will do it in cream because if it's in pill form in a bar a man can drop it in a woman's drink and she won't know it but if you're in a bar and a guy goes so where you from you really were blue coke weren't you i wasn't yeah at the place you showed which was next door to heisham nuclear power station the thing is i got cena because i was i worked at a really good one in yarmouth great yarmouth got sacked which is another story and then uh was sacked and then and was sent to we'll move on to that in a minute but uh you sent it this way sent to that one as a sort of punishment it was like uh you you're going to morkum to do six months because you have just you've just done something what have you done well something that was considered cheeky in the 70s but now is illegal it was actually an incident where it was my first attempt at stan comedy and what happened was i i'd always wanted to do stand-up comedy i didn't have the guts to do it i got very drunk i had a go at doing it as a blue coat my mate said to me just copy all the other comedians at pontins and steal their jokes and basically talk to the front row so you're supposed to say where are you from they say scotland you say who paid for your holiday where you from wales you make a noise like a sheep rubbish jokes right but i said that's terrible he said don't worry you're just padding what you're doing is you're looking for comedy gold which is where you're from they say kent and you say what did you call me right now at pontins this used to take the roof off right so i tried it but i was very drunk so i go on stage and i say where are you from this bloke says scotland i can't remember the joke i say hello then i said to where you from the guy says wales i black out and i go hi i panic and then i say anyone in from kent and this bloke shouts out me and i said well [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] we loved you as the genie in aladdin oh that was fun so we thought we might have our very own genie on the show tonight so uh is there anyone in the audience who fancies a go at being a genie oh look at them okay try and try you uh what what's your name ewan sorry what you june his name is urine [Applause] nice to have you here thank you no no worries can i hear you let it take me this frightening i know don't piss off you and okay think of a magic word right something you know it's just you magic word and that camera three is going to do a kind of zoom crash on you so so when i say go you and you just do your magic word okay so you and go hi graham [Applause] wow how grandma i feel like we're in the middle of a telethon right now you and his learned to say hi graham thanks to your dollars please help you'll learn another phrase by the end of the show should we try another boy oh actually you're wearing blue already let's try you yeah okay so into that camera your magic world what's your name nick g nick okay a friend of you okay number three and go alakazam [Applause] it wow almost too good it was a bit like you're you're very good at that yeah alakazam time to dance now i'm gonna dance with you and and goodnight [Applause] okay so i'm just going to get my genie to help me okay hang on oh yes because i forgot all about poor creatures [Applause] good nick good oh there he is okay nick ready i need i need a lovely funky dj console please good work good work nick okay i tell you what nick you you can come back into the studio come back to the shooter you can help us in this thing okay there you go well done [Music] right here we go here we go it's the robin and graham road show hello sir gloves okay you're over there now well done so there's a mic there now nick i've got some music [ __ ] put a shout out right now nick b now for the blue people [ __ ] keep it real get ready for an alakazam [Applause] now i gotta many tingles so it's the robin and graham road show can you do a jingle a live jingle bell welcome to the robin and graham radio show very good good evening robin good evening graham welcome back once again we got some shout outs i got one going out right now to stephen buck he wants to shout out to jess who's a best friend and he says stop texting him he's not interested yay you're listening to the robin and roadshow how cause i am no you tit the jingle welcome to the robin and graham michelle smith what's a shout out to esther best friend that bloke you pulled don't worry about trying to remember his name you can do so much better yeah whoa where's marlin marlon oh there he is marlon ready we're gonna say we'd like to shout out to his friend gregoire don't worry girls love that you have got a third nipple oh three nipples abc way to go show it shut up [Applause] first of all i'm not a circus freak secondly i will get my third nipple out on the condition that robin williams comes and touches it this better be a real nipple all right ready here we go ready ready let's see oh please please let it be a nipple i have a third ball too ready ready here we go okay ow oh did i touch it i did [Applause] play with my third nipple girl you've never had fun till you go third once you touch the third nipple things get crazy i get two nipples going but when the third goes [Music] the third nipple goes and then my fourth penis jumps out ladies and gentlemen please thank my guests tonight the fantastic mr robin williams thank you [Music] you

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 1,187,558

Rating: 4.9256763 out of 5

Keywords: Graham Norton, Graham Norton Show, The Graham Norton Show, The Graham Norton Show official, The Graham Norton Show new series, The Graham Norton Show 2020, The Graham Norton Show new, Graham Norton Show Best Moments, Graham Norton Show funniest moments, Graham Norton Show new series, robin williams, robin williams graham norton, ricky gervais, ricky gervais graham norton, John Cleese, Martin Clunes, Lee Mack, Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig, Leslie Jones, Kate McKinnon

Id: 5KV-hRbgrrg

Length: 21min 53sec (1313 seconds)

Published: Sat May 15 2021