Clips You’ve NEVER SEEN Before From The Graham Norton Show | Part Eleven

[Applause] i don't remember uh audience but a couple weeks ago there was a genuine ad uh on the internet uh on one of those you know listings things and it was looking it was basically making a porn film uh using a sarah palin lookalike there's an update ladies and gentlemen such is the the highest standard of porn the film has been made already and uh this week uh there are on the web there's a website that claims to have the script and it's full of gems there's something couldn't we mean no no wait here is a scene now this is it it's quite innocent uh so she's called sarah sarah can you be sarah what are you saying like that what like she's backward what do you mean it's not written you've changed your name for legacy yeah sorry i'm sorry yeah you're the business partner okay so uh i'll just read it i'll read the stage directions sarah sits across them she's holding a much bigger part than me i'm not doing this you've got loads loads uh so sarah's sitting together she's holding a brochure for the latest snowmobile model go uh what do you say handsome how about you and me take one of these babies out for a test drive yeah i'd love to sarah but with your husband out of town i'm afraid i just feel a little funny about it [Applause] i mean after all the man's my business partner oh for criminy's sake why don't you take your nuts out of your little gucci purse grab your noodle and act like a man this is this is great listen to my line i don't know stage direction sarah unbuttons her blouse we'll take that as red well before you and your boyfriend lance bass head off to the next clay aiken concert why don't you feast your eyes on mama's jugs she she lifts her skirt and starts rubbing herself through her panties [Applause] a bit tight yeah leave it without again that's red it's time to drill baby drill hard and drill deep what are you waiting for congressional approval i will not work with monkeys at all ever again because if they get frustrated for instance then they'll disappear up into the rafters and start pulling this set apart and masturbating why are you laughing it's the truth and that monkey that you saw on that picture that one i know you have it again but yeah that one you little [ __ ] [Applause] is you there you know what he's doing he's actually he's wearing a fur bikini because he's got a perpetual erection they put a little bit of fake yeah they had to build him a little fur bikini to put on there it is he would get ticked off and what he was doing he's you know he pulled part of the hair piece off and i thought well that's no good and then he got really angry with me and he climbed up and went and had a wank somewhere that's all good actors do yeah hi stand up you all right now uh what what's your question other people will be asking questions um also played in the hard to hard pilot movie was wanted in the for a bigger part within the series are you a real person [Applause] we've gone to central casting i said we need a german fan i've got just the woman for you so what was it jilts and john was it in an episode and now um i heard that she was in the pilot movie and i heard that she was wanted um to play jennifer's sister and i wanted to know who came up with this idea and why it was dropped okay did she say something about my part no who dropped it no it was uh just that john was was she ever going to play your sister in the show no i don't think it's not me curious yeah okay yeah the answer is no a lot of people traveled a long way to here no can we meet our first uh bodyguard please hello oh oh i'm sensing you know her okay what's your name laura the tie is askew and it won't do you'd never ever get close to me with that oh i think she's trying to be sexy bodyguard okay laura oh look at you working it okay all right laura hope you get your trumpet okay laura we're counting down three two one throw what is this happening i wouldn't mind a shout out the title what do you want to do it yeah what kind of paint is that it's a water-based paint can i get it off i douse this wait do you want to do it yeah i want to do it where is he oh i have every confidence in you maybe i stand on something back here you have a platform there or something okay you just stand in the back there between the flags okay is this okay perfect how does that look okay is that a long lady monica lewinsky [Applause] did you bring a speech with you [Applause] thank you very much ladies and gentlemen for attending this press conference i'll take your your uh your questions in a minute i just wanted to run over a few items first of all [Music] this is a book there's a book called shop horror right and it's a collection of all these terrible shop names in britain and there are quite a lot of good uh hairdressing one here's a good hair you like this one there it is curling you softly that sounds like having a [ __ ] [Applause] is another hairdressing one do you see they've traveled blonde dye bleach do you get it you get it did you get it was that in was that in sydney blonde eye beach the shop shop look at that shop mary [ __ ] in there you can't do this in america okay imagine you're opening a fruit and veg shop and you're prone to depression okay what might you call it uh this is good prone to depression you're under depression and you're opening a fruit and vegetable no no guesses oh hang on the house give us a bit longer can't we literally people are watching us sit here and think of puns veggies vegetables down in the somewhere you'll never get it you'll never get it melon colony [Applause] uh she says in the u.s we call it a pickup line whatever where are you oh there she is hello hi hello uh is your husband here no he isn't he's back in the mirror my daughter is here angie great i don't care [Applause] if he wanted to know that's her daughter i didn't and her favorite channel blind is actually oh this is hard with your daughter right there is that a mirror in your pocket cause i can sure see myself in your pants she adds i know this is not a great way to start a chat but i was pretty easy in the 80s i love the daughter clapping yay and that's why i'm here yay [Music] uh haley murray uh a lot of joke is your partner here no oh that's hiding oh he you said this to her i can't believe you said this to her your eyes are like spanners every time i look into them my nuts tighten now melody caviar smith melody melody hello melody hi did someone say this to you no no no i heard in passing and it just made me giggle i bet it would i used to right i used to hate donkeys until i checked out your ass i can only eo when well now since both of you are fluent in french right and what we're going to do is we're going to get a few of those chat up lines and see if they sound better in a sort of french art house setting i think you'll enjoy it involves no nudity [Applause] no no no i didn't know it was that silly this program is [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 758,153

Keywords: Graham Norton, Graham Norton Show, The Graham Norton Show, The Graham Norton Show official, The Graham Norton Show new series, Graham Norton 2020, The Graham Norton Show 2020, The Graham Norton Show new, Graham Norton Show Best Moments, Graham Norton Show funniest moments, Graham Norton Show new series, gordon ramsay, brendan fraser, ricky gervais, graham norton never seen before, graham norton old moments, thandie newton, matt leblanc, friends

Id: ZLjZb8JdyKg

Length: 13min 23sec (803 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 25 2021